1
00:00:26,242 --> 00:00:28,760
♪ Ta ta ta ta ta ta ♪

2
00:00:28,784 --> 00:00:31,466
♪ Ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ♪

3
00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:33,192
♪ Tan tan ta ♪

4
00:00:33,216 --> 00:00:34,397
♪ Tan tan tan tan ♪

5
00:00:34,421 --> 00:00:35,601
♪ Tan tan ta tan ♪

6
00:00:35,625 --> 00:00:37,230
♪ Tan tan tan tan! ♪

7
00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:40,706
That logo music just gets you pumped.

8
00:00:40,730 --> 00:00:41,904
Right?

9
00:00:41,928 --> 00:00:45,744
I'm sorry. I just, I'm excited to be here.
It's been a while.

10
00:00:45,768 --> 00:00:46,645
You know, for a long time,

11
00:00:46,669 --> 00:00:48,879
I wasn't sure I'd ever be back.

12
00:00:48,903 --> 00:00:49,648
Disney bought Fox,

13
00:00:49,672 --> 00:00:51,717
there was a whole boring rights issue,

14
00:00:51,741 --> 00:00:52,519
blabbity-blabbity-blah.

15
00:00:52,543 --> 00:00:55,082
But then, it turned out, they wanted me.

16
00:00:55,106 --> 00:00:58,493
The one guy who shouldn't
even have his own movie,

17
00:00:58,517 --> 00:00:59,856
much less a franchise.

18
00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:02,892
Marvel's so stupid.

19
00:01:02,916 --> 00:01:04,862
Look, we know the title of this thing.

20
00:01:04,886 --> 00:01:06,930
So, I know what you're wondering.

21
00:01:06,954 --> 00:01:07,798
How are we gonna do this

22
00:01:07,822 --> 00:01:11,605
without dishonoring Logan's memory?

23
00:01:11,629 --> 00:01:13,696
And I'll tell you how.

24
00:01:13,894 --> 00:01:14,894
We're not.

25
00:01:16,194 --> 00:01:18,876
I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

26
00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:20,371
Wolverine is not dead.

27
00:01:20,395 --> 00:01:24,486
Sure, it made for a perfect
ending to a very sad story.

28
00:01:24,510 --> 00:01:25,244
But that's not how

29
00:01:25,268 --> 00:01:27,346
regenerative healing factors work.

30
00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:28,555
You think I wanna be out here

31
00:01:28,579 --> 00:01:30,381
in beautiful downtown North Dakota,

32
00:01:30,405 --> 00:01:33,792
digging up the one and only
Wolverine? No, thank you.

33
00:01:33,816 --> 00:01:36,564
But the fate of
my entire world is at stake.

34
00:01:36,588 --> 00:01:38,390
He may not be living his best life,

35
00:01:38,414 --> 00:01:40,777
but he sure as hell ain't

36
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:43,187
dead.

37
00:01:47,697 --> 00:01:49,127
Bingo.

38
00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:50,964
Yahtzee.

39
00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:57,102
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

40
00:02:00,369 --> 00:02:01,654
Damn it!

41
00:02:01,678 --> 00:02:05,506
Son of a bitch!

42
00:02:06,716 --> 00:02:07,848
You...

43
00:02:09,885 --> 00:02:12,797
Christ. Motherfucker!

44
00:02:12,821 --> 00:02:14,635
My world is fuck...

45
00:02:14,659 --> 00:02:17,836
That was weird.

46
00:02:17,860 --> 00:02:18,860
I'm much calmer now.

47
00:02:20,291 --> 00:02:23,203
Look, I'm not a man of science.

48
00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:26,736
But you seem incredibly passed away.

49
00:02:29,617 --> 00:02:30,617
But it's good to see ya.

50
00:02:30,641 --> 00:02:34,556
I gotta be honest,
I've always wanted to ride with you, Log.

51
00:02:34,580 --> 00:02:35,479
You and me getting into it.

52
00:02:35,503 --> 00:02:39,451
Deadpool and Wolverine
just fuckin' shit up.

53
00:02:39,475 --> 00:02:43,356
Can you imagine the fun, the chaos...

54
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:44,796
the residuals?

55
00:02:44,820 --> 00:02:45,929
"G'day, mate."

56
00:02:45,953 --> 00:02:48,196
"There's nothing that'll
bring me back to life faster"

57
00:02:48,220 --> 00:02:50,835
"than a big bag of Marvel cash."

58
00:02:50,859 --> 00:02:54,466
Me too, Hugh.

59
00:02:54,490 --> 00:02:56,841
But, no. No, no, no.

60
00:02:56,865 --> 00:03:01,473
You had to get all noble and die for real.

61
00:03:01,497 --> 00:03:03,806
Goddamn it!

62
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:07,645
I could really use your help right now.

63
00:03:17,985 --> 00:03:19,600
Wait!

64
00:03:19,624 --> 00:03:21,702
I'm warning you, I'm not alone.

65
00:03:21,726 --> 00:03:23,296
Wade Winston Wilson,

66
00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:26,399
you are under arrest by
the Time Variance Authority...

67
00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:27,267
Oof.

68
00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:28,531
...for too many crimes to list.

69
00:03:28,555 --> 00:03:29,657
Come out...

70
00:03:29,681 --> 00:03:31,121
...and we'll extend you the courtesy

71
00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:33,780
- of taking you in one piece.
- Death by day-player.

72
00:03:33,804 --> 00:03:34,879
Last chance.

73
00:03:34,903 --> 00:03:35,649
Throw out your weapons

74
00:03:35,673 --> 00:03:37,783
and come out peacefully.

75
00:03:37,807 --> 00:03:39,918
I'm not gonna give you my weapons,

76
00:03:39,942 --> 00:03:42,513
but I promise not to use them.

77
00:03:42,537 --> 00:03:44,999
There are two hundred and six
bones in the human body.

78
00:03:45,023 --> 00:03:47,509
Two hundred and seven
if I'm watching Gossip Girl.

79
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:51,414
- Here we go. Maximum effort.
- ♪ Hey, hey ♪

80
00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:58,706
- ♪ Bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪

81
00:03:58,730 --> 00:03:59,332
Okay, peanut.

82
00:03:59,356 --> 00:04:02,095
Guess we're getting
that team-up after all.

83
00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:05,835
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪

84
00:04:10,070 --> 00:04:11,883
♪ I'm doing this tonight ♪

85
00:04:11,907 --> 00:04:14,745
♪ You're probably gonna start a fight ♪

86
00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:17,725
♪ I know this can't be right ♪

87
00:04:17,749 --> 00:04:20,376
♪ Hey, baby, come on ♪

88
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,026
♪ I loved you endlessly ♪

89
00:04:23,050 --> 00:04:25,424
♪ When you weren't there for me ♪

90
00:04:25,448 --> 00:04:31,464
♪ So now it's time to leave
and make it alone ♪

91
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:34,457
♪ I know that I can't take no more ♪

92
00:04:36,965 --> 00:04:39,405
♪ I wanna see you out that door ♪

93
00:04:39,429 --> 00:04:42,046
- ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪

94
00:04:42,070 --> 00:04:44,113
♪ Don't wanna be a fool for you ♪

95
00:04:44,137 --> 00:04:47,485
♪ Just another player
in your game for two ♪

96
00:04:47,509 --> 00:04:50,386
♪ You may hate me, but it ain't no lie ♪

97
00:04:50,410 --> 00:04:53,288
- ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪

98
00:04:53,312 --> 00:04:55,355
♪ Don't really wanna make it tough ♪

99
00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:58,941
♪ I just wanna tell you
that I've had enough ♪

100
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:02,528
♪ It might sound crazy, but it ain't no lie ♪

101
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:06,498
♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪

102
00:05:06,522 --> 00:05:08,599
♪ Just hit me with the truth ♪

103
00:05:08,623 --> 00:05:11,240
♪ Now, girl, you're more
than welcome to ♪

104
00:05:11,264 --> 00:05:13,880
Maradona from outside the box!

105
00:05:13,904 --> 00:05:16,310
Goal!

106
00:05:16,334 --> 00:05:17,311
♪ Baby, come on ♪

107
00:05:17,335 --> 00:05:19,946
♪ I know that I can't take no more ♪

108
00:05:19,970 --> 00:05:22,581
♪ It ain't no lie ♪

109
00:05:22,605 --> 00:05:25,385
♪ I wanna see you out that door ♪

110
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:28,092
- ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪

111
00:05:28,116 --> 00:05:30,225
♪ Don't wanna be a fool for you ♪

112
00:05:30,249 --> 00:05:33,377
♪ Just another player
in your game for two ♪

113
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:36,306
♪ You may hate me, but it ain't no lie ♪

114
00:05:36,330 --> 00:05:39,235
- ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪

115
00:05:39,259 --> 00:05:41,401
♪ Don't really wanna make it tough ♪

116
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:44,938
♪ I just wanna tell you
that I had enough ♪

117
00:05:44,962 --> 00:05:48,475
♪ Might sound crazy, but it ain't no lie ♪

118
00:05:48,499 --> 00:05:52,073
♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪

119
00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:57,759
♪ I don't wanna be your fool ♪

120
00:05:57,783 --> 00:06:00,420
♪ In this game for two ♪

121
00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:03,391
♪ So I'm leavin' you behind ♪

122
00:06:03,415 --> 00:06:04,798
Come on, big fella.

123
00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:06,327
♪ Bye, bye, bye, yeah ♪

124
00:06:06,351 --> 00:06:09,166
♪ I don't wanna make it tough ♪

125
00:06:09,190 --> 00:06:11,035
♪ But I've had enough ♪

126
00:06:11,059 --> 00:06:15,205
- ♪ And it ain't no lie ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪

127
00:06:15,229 --> 00:06:16,007
♪ Baby ♪

128
00:06:16,031 --> 00:06:17,470
♪ Don't wanna be a fool for you ♪

129
00:06:17,494 --> 00:06:19,241
♪ Just another player
in your game for two ♪

130
00:06:19,265 --> 00:06:24,082
♪ I don't wanna be your fool,
but it ain't no lie ♪

131
00:06:24,106 --> 00:06:26,579
- ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪

132
00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:28,382
♪ Don't really wanna make it tough ♪

133
00:06:28,406 --> 00:06:31,869
♪ I just wanna tell you
that I had enough ♪

134
00:06:31,893 --> 00:06:35,032
♪ Might sound crazy, but it ain't no lie ♪

135
00:06:35,056 --> 00:06:37,687
- ♪ Bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪

136
00:06:43,609 --> 00:06:46,897
I am soaking wet right now.

137
00:06:48,624 --> 00:06:51,521
To be clear, I'm not proud of any of this.

138
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:54,442
The wanton violence,
the whiff of necrophilia.

139
00:06:54,466 --> 00:06:55,475
It isn't who I am.

140
00:06:55,499 --> 00:06:57,280
It isn't who I wanna be.

141
00:06:57,304 --> 00:06:57,950
Who I wanna be?

142
00:06:57,974 --> 00:07:00,184
Well, to help you understand that,

143
00:07:00,208 --> 00:07:01,085
I've gotta take you back.

144
00:07:01,109 --> 00:07:03,583
A little joyride I took
through space and time,

145
00:07:03,607 --> 00:07:06,851
to the day that changed everything.

146
00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:20,203
I can't believe I'm finally here.

147
00:07:20,227 --> 00:07:24,066
I've waited for this moment for so long.

148
00:07:24,429 --> 00:07:27,607
Thank you, sir, for seeing me.

149
00:07:27,631 --> 00:07:29,641
I... I firmly believe

150
00:07:29,665 --> 00:07:31,462
that my services could be of

151
00:07:31,486 --> 00:07:33,283
great use to your organization.

152
00:07:33,307 --> 00:07:33,887
Now, I know

153
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:36,154
I was caught smashturbating
in the lobby of Stark Tower,

154
00:07:36,178 --> 00:07:38,058
- but I can assure you that...
- Smashturbating?

155
00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:39,402
I'm sorry, what... what was that?

156
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:42,787
No, I'm sorry. That...
That's when you get those toy,

157
00:07:42,811 --> 00:07:43,490
Hulk hands, right?

158
00:07:43,514 --> 00:07:46,075
And then you just, you look
down, and you just...

159
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,660
you brace yourself,
and you ravage the midsection.

160
00:07:48,684 --> 00:07:50,844
- Pinch the... Yeah. Okay.
- I get it. Okay, thank you.

161
00:07:50,868 --> 00:07:52,665
- The picture's painted.
- You get the gist.

162
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:55,371
Uh, what exactly brings you here today?

163
00:07:55,395 --> 00:07:58,836
Why am I... Wow. Okay. Uh...

164
00:07:58,860 --> 00:07:59,737
I... I care.

165
00:07:59,761 --> 00:08:03,864
I know I turn everything
into a joke, but I...

166
00:08:04,733 --> 00:08:08,605
I care, and I wanna use that feeling...

167
00:08:08,770 --> 00:08:10,534
for something important.

168
00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:12,344
I... I wanna matter.

169
00:08:14,809 --> 00:08:17,845
I need to show my girl that I matter.

170
00:08:18,691 --> 00:08:19,691
And...

171
00:08:19,715 --> 00:08:21,298
You know, I feel like I'm wasting

172
00:08:21,322 --> 00:08:22,034
the good stuff here.

173
00:08:22,058 --> 00:08:23,729
Is the man not gonna be joining us?

174
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:24,498
- The man?
- Yeah.

175
00:08:24,522 --> 00:08:26,335
I should save this if he's gonna...

176
00:08:26,359 --> 00:08:28,943
Uh, as far as you're concerned
right now, I'm the man.

177
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,306
- No.
- The man is me.

178
00:08:30,330 --> 00:08:33,574
I am the man in this circumstance.

179
00:08:33,598 --> 00:08:34,772
- Mm.
- He doesn't do

180
00:08:34,796 --> 00:08:36,478
this kind of thing anymore.

181
00:08:36,502 --> 00:08:37,247
- Cameos?
- Meetings.

182
00:08:37,271 --> 00:08:39,382
- Meetings.
- Entry-level meetings.

183
00:08:39,406 --> 00:08:39,986
Entry-level?

184
00:08:40,010 --> 00:08:41,746
Aren't you the chauffeur...

185
00:08:41,770 --> 00:08:44,156
- maybe?
- I... Common misconception.

186
00:08:44,180 --> 00:08:45,751
- Okay.
- I did begin my career

187
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,323
as Mr. Stark's driver.

188
00:08:47,347 --> 00:08:48,547
- Okay.
- Quickly pivoted to...

189
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:50,091
- Chauffeur.
- ...the Head of Security.

190
00:08:50,115 --> 00:08:51,856
The Head of... Of course, yes, yes, yes.

191
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,693
And why I am vetting your resume.

192
00:08:54,717 --> 00:08:57,235
You seem to have left out
whether or not you had

193
00:08:57,259 --> 00:08:59,369
any experience as a member of a team.

194
00:08:59,393 --> 00:09:00,105
Could you maybe add

195
00:09:00,129 --> 00:09:01,489
a little bit of perspective there?

196
00:09:01,513 --> 00:09:03,835
Oh. No, yes, of course.
I was Special Forces...

197
00:09:03,859 --> 00:09:05,188
- Okay.
- ...but I was...

198
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,332
Mainly, I was team leader...

199
00:09:06,356 --> 00:09:07,476
founder, really, of X-Force.

200
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:09,676
Sadly, they... they all
perished in action though.

201
00:09:09,700 --> 00:09:10,980
Oh. How exactly did that happen?

202
00:09:11,004 --> 00:09:12,810
Well, the police say gravity, but if...

203
00:09:12,834 --> 00:09:14,780
Just between us, they didn't test well

204
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,534
- in the focus group.
- I see.

205
00:09:16,558 --> 00:09:18,289
- Particularly Cable.
- X-Force.

206
00:09:18,313 --> 00:09:18,992
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

207
00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:20,536
Look, I can see this isn't going well.

208
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,317
Please stop writing. Look, I... I...

209
00:09:22,341 --> 00:09:24,483
I'm just... I wanna be an Avenger.

210
00:09:25,385 --> 00:09:27,882
I wanna be an Avenger.

211
00:09:28,619 --> 00:09:30,498
Why do you wanna be an Avenger?

212
00:09:30,522 --> 00:09:32,270
Look around you. I mean, they're the...

213
00:09:32,294 --> 00:09:34,101
they're the best of the best.

214
00:09:34,125 --> 00:09:35,933
And... And what they do matters.

215
00:09:35,957 --> 00:09:37,835
I need to be an Avenger.

216
00:09:37,859 --> 00:09:40,674
Sir, my girl has kinda had it
with my shtick,

217
00:09:40,698 --> 00:09:41,575
and I... if I don't, you know,

218
00:09:41,599 --> 00:09:44,127
turn things around and
do something with my "gifts,"

219
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,680
I don't think it's gonna
really work out for me,

220
00:09:46,704 --> 00:09:48,714
and I wouldn't blame her.

221
00:09:48,738 --> 00:09:53,621
Avengers are a very unique
group of superheroes

222
00:09:53,645 --> 00:09:54,357
that stand for something

223
00:09:54,381 --> 00:09:57,492
more than just fighting
and wearing costumes.

224
00:09:57,516 --> 00:10:00,628
I mean, people look up to us.
Kids look up to us.

225
00:10:00,652 --> 00:10:01,628
- They...
- I'm sorry. "Us"?

226
00:10:01,652 --> 00:10:04,434
I wasn't aware that you were an Avenger.

227
00:10:04,458 --> 00:10:05,698
Avengers-adjacent, technically.

228
00:10:05,722 --> 00:10:07,002
Oh, wow. What's your superpower?

229
00:10:07,026 --> 00:10:10,011
Is it parallel parking? I am so sorry.

230
00:10:10,035 --> 00:10:10,604
That was cruel.

231
00:10:10,628 --> 00:10:13,443
I lash out when I'm nervous.
Won't happen again.

232
00:10:13,467 --> 00:10:14,906
- Let's cut to the chase.
- Please.

233
00:10:14,930 --> 00:10:16,148
You just said moments ago

234
00:10:16,172 --> 00:10:19,614
that you wanted to be
an Avenger because

235
00:10:19,638 --> 00:10:20,780
you need it.

236
00:10:20,804 --> 00:10:21,945
Yes, sir, I do.

237
00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:23,750
But the Avengers don't do the job

238
00:10:23,774 --> 00:10:24,816
because they need it.

239
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:28,085
They do the job
because people need them.

240
00:10:28,448 --> 00:10:30,780
Do you see the distinction?

241
00:10:31,913 --> 00:10:33,981
Yes, sir.

242
00:10:34,223 --> 00:10:35,266
Please, Mr. Hogan.

243
00:10:35,290 --> 00:10:36,850
I don't wanna spend the rest of my life

244
00:10:36,874 --> 00:10:40,008
like an annoying one-trick pony.

245
00:10:42,231 --> 00:10:43,703
All right.

246
00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:45,309
Oh, my God, you're standing.

247
00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:47,477
Yeah, now's the time that we stand.

248
00:10:47,501 --> 00:10:47,938
Damn it.

249
00:10:47,962 --> 00:10:49,775
Now, the problem might be that you're

250
00:10:49,799 --> 00:10:51,612
reaching a little... little too high.

251
00:10:51,636 --> 00:10:54,352
Aim for the middle, and you'll never miss.

252
00:10:54,376 --> 00:10:55,816
Right? I think you got a good heart.

253
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:57,321
I believe what you're saying.

254
00:10:57,345 --> 00:10:59,456
But not everybody's
the world-saving type.

255
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,793
I'm not, and I'm happy.

256
00:11:01,817 --> 00:11:04,154
Right? I found my place.

257
00:11:04,484 --> 00:11:06,396
Find your place.

258
00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:08,431
All right? Get back out there.

259
00:11:08,455 --> 00:11:10,533
- We'll keep an eye on you.
- Okay.

260
00:11:10,557 --> 00:11:12,052
Good luck.

261
00:11:12,228 --> 00:11:14,921
- Mm. Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

262
00:11:14,945 --> 00:11:17,639
Fetch the car. I wanna hit Shake Shack.

263
00:11:17,663 --> 00:11:19,961
Rejection makes me hungy.

264
00:11:20,236 --> 00:11:21,912
- No, no. Please.
- No?

265
00:11:21,936 --> 00:11:23,612
- Yeah, no, no, no.
- Okay.

266
00:11:23,636 --> 00:11:25,439
Okay, thank you.

267
00:11:26,341 --> 00:11:28,287
You know what they say.

268
00:11:28,311 --> 00:11:30,576
When one door closes,

269
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:33,259
your locker at work opens.

270
00:11:42,258 --> 00:11:43,901
Now let's go sell some certified

271
00:11:43,925 --> 00:11:45,591
pre-owned vehicles, motherfu...

272
00:11:47,296 --> 00:11:51,762
Technically, the...
the Carnival's not a minivan.

273
00:11:51,970 --> 00:11:52,970
It's an MPV.

274
00:11:52,994 --> 00:11:55,578
So how does the Kia compare
to the Honda Odyssey?

275
00:11:55,602 --> 00:11:57,082
The Odyssey? That's a great question.

276
00:11:57,106 --> 00:11:58,910
Um, it doesn't fucking suck.

277
00:11:58,934 --> 00:12:01,452
You know, you can answer
the question without swearing.

278
00:12:01,476 --> 00:12:04,422
I'm sorry, Tammy, I don't...
I don't have kids.

279
00:12:04,446 --> 00:12:06,924
Not that I haven't dreamt of that,

280
00:12:06,948 --> 00:12:09,450
but I don't have a lot of vaginal sex.

281
00:12:11,584 --> 00:12:12,784
You'll get 'em next time, pal.

282
00:12:12,808 --> 00:12:13,892
- Yeah.
- And look,

283
00:12:13,916 --> 00:12:15,476
you can always go back
to superhero-ing.

284
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:18,034
I mean, I know I'd like
to see you back in the suit.

285
00:12:18,058 --> 00:12:20,668
I don't keep it in my locker
so that I can wear it.

286
00:12:20,692 --> 00:12:23,606
I keep it in my locker in case
we need to saddle up again.

287
00:12:23,630 --> 00:12:27,478
Hey, hey, hey.
What is that doing in there?

288
00:12:27,502 --> 00:12:29,096
I'm done.

289
00:12:30,372 --> 00:12:31,811
I'm done.

290
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,863
And I'm fine with being done.

291
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,915
Look, is sales the best match?

292
00:12:35,939 --> 00:12:36,552
Probably not.

293
00:12:36,576 --> 00:12:40,491
Is this the life that I always
imagined for myself? Fuck no.

294
00:12:40,515 --> 00:12:44,264
But this is the right fit
for me, Sugar Bear, it is.

295
00:12:44,288 --> 00:12:45,627
Okay, Mr. Wilson.

296
00:12:45,651 --> 00:12:47,448
I'm just saying, once a month,

297
00:12:47,472 --> 00:12:49,268
we could go on a little mission.

298
00:12:49,292 --> 00:12:52,437
We're human beings. We crave purpose.

299
00:12:52,461 --> 00:12:53,734
After all, we're Deadpool.

300
00:12:53,758 --> 00:12:56,672
Please stop saying that.
We're not Deadpool.

301
00:12:56,696 --> 00:12:58,541
I'm not even Deadpool anymore.

302
00:12:58,565 --> 00:13:01,842
Well, if you're gonna have
a midlife crisis, go big.

303
00:13:01,866 --> 00:13:03,513
A few years ago, a friend of mine

304
00:13:03,537 --> 00:13:06,566
got his nipples pierced
with a titanium chain

305
00:13:06,590 --> 00:13:09,642
that goes down and attaches
to his Van Johnson.

306
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:15,526
Are... Are you feeling grumplestiltskin

307
00:13:15,550 --> 00:13:17,749
'cause it's your birthday?

308
00:13:18,882 --> 00:13:20,521
What?

309
00:13:20,785 --> 00:13:22,182
No.

310
00:13:22,820 --> 00:13:24,426
No.

311
00:13:26,461 --> 00:13:29,286
Surprise!

312
00:13:29,310 --> 00:13:32,159
Hey, you guys are lucky I'm not armed.

313
00:13:32,368 --> 00:13:32,938
Get in here.

314
00:13:32,962 --> 00:13:35,447
If this were six years ago,
you'd all be dead.

315
00:13:35,471 --> 00:13:37,383
So then, he gets out of the cab,

316
00:13:37,407 --> 00:13:38,383
and you will not believe it.

317
00:13:38,407 --> 00:13:40,264
I turn around, and what do I find?

318
00:13:40,288 --> 00:13:42,146
- AirPods. His AirPods.
- His AirPods!

319
00:13:42,170 --> 00:13:43,080
- Come on.
- Crazy story.

320
00:13:43,104 --> 00:13:46,976
- Every time. Come on.
- Every single time.

321
00:13:48,351 --> 00:13:49,576
Make any sales today?

322
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:50,824
You know I didn't.

323
00:13:50,848 --> 00:13:52,728
Did you sell any dreamcatchers on Etsy

324
00:13:52,752 --> 00:13:54,333
or whatever it is that you do?

325
00:13:54,357 --> 00:13:56,303
Our rent's due in three days, Wade.

326
00:13:56,327 --> 00:13:57,617
I can't keep carrying you.

327
00:13:57,641 --> 00:13:58,931
Relax. I have the money.

328
00:13:58,955 --> 00:14:01,869
I sold some old
blood pressure medication

329
00:14:01,893 --> 00:14:02,803
I found lying around.

330
00:14:02,827 --> 00:14:04,409
You tryin' to kill me, motherfucker?

331
00:14:04,433 --> 00:14:06,313
I'm not the one
dousing everything in salt,

332
00:14:06,337 --> 00:14:08,942
- motherfucker.
- I pray every day

333
00:14:08,966 --> 00:14:10,745
that fire finds your body

334
00:14:10,769 --> 00:14:12,764
and finishes the job God didn't have

335
00:14:12,788 --> 00:14:14,708
- the nuts to do.
- That's hurtful.

336
00:14:14,732 --> 00:14:16,653
If you could hear the look on my face,

337
00:14:16,677 --> 00:14:18,121
you'd smell how sad I am.

338
00:14:18,145 --> 00:14:19,856
You watched anything good?

339
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:21,592
Great British Bake Off.

340
00:14:21,616 --> 00:14:22,218
Oh, goddamn.

341
00:14:22,242 --> 00:14:24,842
That show stood between me
and suicide for 10 years.

342
00:14:24,866 --> 00:14:27,466
Those are my feelings on
abortion, religious freedom,

343
00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:29,632
animal rights, privacy rights, vaccines,

344
00:14:29,656 --> 00:14:32,415
free-market capitalism,
global climate change.

345
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:35,199
Yeah, duh-duh-duh.
No, no speaking lines, Buck.

346
00:14:35,223 --> 00:14:37,421
- Hi, Yukio.
- Hi, Wade.

347
00:14:37,445 --> 00:14:39,642
Nice fake o'clock shadow.

348
00:14:39,666 --> 00:14:42,480
It's a summer balayage.
From the French.

349
00:14:42,504 --> 00:14:46,551
It's meant to mimic
the natural highlights of the sun.

350
00:14:46,575 --> 00:14:48,586
- It's a toupee.
- It's a hair system.

351
00:14:48,610 --> 00:14:51,292
I love your hair system, Wade.

352
00:14:51,316 --> 00:14:52,457
Thank you. Heh.

353
00:14:52,481 --> 00:14:53,216
Wanna do some cocaine?

354
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:56,693
Hey, cocaine is the one thing
that Feige said is off limits.

355
00:14:56,717 --> 00:14:58,331
What about Bolivian marching powder?

356
00:14:58,355 --> 00:15:00,631
They know all the slang terms.
They have a list.

357
00:15:00,655 --> 00:15:02,930
- Even snowboarding?
- Even disco dust.

358
00:15:02,954 --> 00:15:03,699
White girl interrupted?

359
00:15:03,723 --> 00:15:05,123
- Even Forrest Bump.
- Booger sugar?

360
00:15:05,147 --> 00:15:06,627
I wouldn't even try powdered go nuts.

361
00:15:06,651 --> 00:15:11,310
- Do you wanna build a snowman?
- Yes. But I can't.

362
00:15:12,226 --> 00:15:13,346
Pull here.

363
00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:14,403
- Here?
- Yeah.

364
00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:18,067
- What happened?
- That's the fun part.

365
00:15:18,771 --> 00:15:20,321
Thanks for coming.

366
00:15:20,345 --> 00:15:21,354
Yeah.

367
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:22,388
How's work?

368
00:15:22,412 --> 00:15:24,480
Oh, I got a promotion.

369
00:15:24,843 --> 00:15:25,281
No way.

370
00:15:25,305 --> 00:15:29,187
Yeah. It's mind-numbing middle
management, but I'm happy.

371
00:15:29,211 --> 00:15:30,849
That's great.

372
00:15:31,619 --> 00:15:34,083
- You, uh, seeing anyone?
- How about you?

373
00:15:34,589 --> 00:15:36,402
Um... Yeah.

374
00:15:36,426 --> 00:15:39,340
A guy from work. Dermot.

375
00:15:39,364 --> 00:15:40,263
Dermot.

376
00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:41,803
- He's kind.
- Good.

377
00:15:41,827 --> 00:15:43,343
Likes to go hiking.

378
00:15:43,367 --> 00:15:45,323
Hasn't gotten me shot yet.

379
00:15:45,347 --> 00:15:47,327
Well, it's the early days.

380
00:15:50,836 --> 00:15:53,310
What about you? You seeing anyone?

381
00:15:53,334 --> 00:15:53,914
Mm...

382
00:15:53,938 --> 00:15:55,719
No, no, I live
in a one-bedroom apartment.

383
00:15:55,743 --> 00:15:58,074
I share a bed with Blind Al.

384
00:15:58,811 --> 00:16:00,690
Okay.

385
00:16:00,714 --> 00:16:03,013
- All right.
- All right.

386
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:05,976
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

387
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,822
- Speech! Speech!
- Yes!

388
00:16:08,846 --> 00:16:11,692
All right. Okay, okay, okay. Uh...

389
00:16:11,725 --> 00:16:12,702
Birthdays.

390
00:16:12,726 --> 00:16:14,573
Boy, every spin around the moon

391
00:16:14,597 --> 00:16:15,441
is a new adventure indeed.

392
00:16:15,465 --> 00:16:18,699
- Sun, dumb-ass.
- Okay, round-earther.

393
00:16:18,996 --> 00:16:21,646
- Where was I?
- The adventure of life.

394
00:16:21,670 --> 00:16:22,338
Right. Um...

395
00:16:22,362 --> 00:16:24,076
It's been a challenging few years.

396
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:25,814
Haven't seen you guys in a while.

397
00:16:25,838 --> 00:16:28,300
Been through a lot, uh, change of life.

398
00:16:28,324 --> 00:16:30,787
- Menopause?
- Bitch, are you improv-ing?

399
00:16:30,811 --> 00:16:32,557
- Mm-mm.
- Sorry.

400
00:16:32,581 --> 00:16:34,461
I'm sorry that you had to see that, Yukio.

401
00:16:34,485 --> 00:16:37,454
- It's okay.
- Yeah.

402
00:16:37,850 --> 00:16:39,498
But I'm happy.

403
00:16:39,522 --> 00:16:40,722
You know, and that's... that's

404
00:16:40,746 --> 00:16:43,084
because of each and every one of you.

405
00:16:43,108 --> 00:16:45,279
I guess, what I'm trying to say is

406
00:16:45,303 --> 00:16:47,474
how proud I am, how grateful I am

407
00:16:47,498 --> 00:16:48,540
to be standing in a room

408
00:16:48,564 --> 00:16:51,996
with every single person I love.

409
00:16:56,902 --> 00:16:59,443
I'm the luckiest man alive.

410
00:17:01,048 --> 00:17:02,048
Make a wish, buddy.

411
00:17:02,072 --> 00:17:05,250
Ten-four, good buddy.

412
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:06,912
Going down.

413
00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:13,598
Wade Wilson?

414
00:17:13,622 --> 00:17:14,698
Oh, yeah. Dancers.

415
00:17:14,722 --> 00:17:16,469
Dopinder must have ordered you.

416
00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:18,769
Are those supposed
to be cop costumes?

417
00:17:18,793 --> 00:17:19,637
Never mind.

418
00:17:19,661 --> 00:17:22,333
Take your clothes off
but leave the helmets.

419
00:17:22,357 --> 00:17:23,922
And this isn't Pretty Woman.

420
00:17:23,946 --> 00:17:25,511
We're kissing. All right?

421
00:17:25,535 --> 00:17:28,548
What song do you guys
normally dance to?

422
00:17:28,572 --> 00:17:31,947
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

423
00:17:31,971 --> 00:17:33,131
Is that supposed to be scary?

424
00:17:33,155 --> 00:17:35,412
Pegging isn't new for me, friendo.

425
00:17:35,436 --> 00:17:36,864
But it is for Disney.

426
00:17:36,888 --> 00:17:38,315
Ah, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta!

427
00:17:38,339 --> 00:17:40,334
Okay, I've never been a natural bottom,

428
00:17:40,358 --> 00:17:42,515
so we're gonna take things real slow.

429
00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:44,696
And I want some crazy eye contact.

430
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:45,355
Not you. You.

431
00:17:45,379 --> 00:17:47,699
Can't see your eyes through the mask,
but I can feel them.

432
00:17:47,723 --> 00:17:49,260
We're gonna move on down the hallway

433
00:17:49,284 --> 00:17:51,395
so we can spare a cleanup
on aisle asshole.

434
00:17:51,419 --> 00:17:53,298
How's everyone feel about this plan?

435
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,001
I don't like you.

436
00:17:54,025 --> 00:17:56,334
Yes. Let's hold on to that attitude.

437
00:17:56,358 --> 00:17:58,568
And we're gonna do it angry.

438
00:18:16,311 --> 00:18:18,148
Mr. Wilson...

439
00:18:18,522 --> 00:18:21,865
you appear to have soiled
yourself while unconscious.

440
00:18:21,889 --> 00:18:24,769
I wasn't unconscious. Who are you?

441
00:18:24,793 --> 00:18:26,330
I go by the name of Paradox.

442
00:18:26,354 --> 00:18:30,401
Mr. Paradox. And you're
sitting here at the TVA.

443
00:18:30,425 --> 00:18:32,336
The Time Variance Authority.

444
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:34,371
We're really a watchdog organization,

445
00:18:34,395 --> 00:18:37,309
except we're more lighthearted
than that sounds,

446
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:40,785
with a sort of throwback, ironic twist.

447
00:18:40,809 --> 00:18:42,688
And we're in charge of defending

448
00:18:42,712 --> 00:18:44,590
what's known as the Sacred Timeline.

449
00:18:44,614 --> 00:18:48,320
Holy fuck. That is a shit-ton
of exposition for a threequel.

450
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:50,476
Is this because
I used Cable's time machine?

451
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:52,632
Brought a couple of people back to life,

452
00:18:52,656 --> 00:18:53,390
then I destroyed it.

453
00:18:53,414 --> 00:18:54,734
- That was a long time ago.
- Yes,

454
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:57,482
we're aware of your abuse
of your timeline.

455
00:18:57,506 --> 00:19:00,392
And you were so abusive of it.

456
00:19:00,416 --> 00:19:03,302
Uh, no, it has nothing to do with that.

457
00:19:03,326 --> 00:19:04,964
Walk with me.

458
00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:12,817
I brought you here,
Mr. Wilson, to tell you

459
00:19:12,841 --> 00:19:14,312
that you're special.

460
00:19:14,336 --> 00:19:17,723
In fact, you've been chosen
for a higher purpose,

461
00:19:17,747 --> 00:19:20,286
a purpose unclear even to me.

462
00:19:20,310 --> 00:19:22,023
But one that could

463
00:19:22,047 --> 00:19:24,696
save the entire Sacred Timeline

464
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,667
from a possibly grisly fate
sometime in the future,

465
00:19:27,691 --> 00:19:30,967
which may very well need to be...

466
00:19:30,991 --> 00:19:32,528
avenged.

467
00:19:32,552 --> 00:19:34,961
This Sacred Timeline,

468
00:19:35,225 --> 00:19:37,908
I assume I'm going to marvel

469
00:19:37,932 --> 00:19:39,436
at how

470
00:19:39,460 --> 00:19:41,009
cinematic it feels?

471
00:19:41,033 --> 00:19:42,582
Gratuitous cameos,

472
00:19:42,606 --> 00:19:45,443
indiscriminate use of
Variants, the whole package?

473
00:19:45,467 --> 00:19:47,303
Well, you tell me.

474
00:19:54,684 --> 00:19:56,081
Cap!

475
00:20:02,351 --> 00:20:04,912
You are no longer lost, Wade.

476
00:20:04,936 --> 00:20:07,497
You can be a hero among heroes.

477
00:20:07,521 --> 00:20:09,907
We've been surveilling you
for quite a while.

478
00:20:09,931 --> 00:20:14,000
- Subway station.
- A TVA outpost, yes.

479
00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:16,464
- And what is that?
- Hmm?

480
00:20:18,532 --> 00:20:20,809
Is that me? Is that Thor?

481
00:20:21,271 --> 00:20:22,815
- Is he crying?
- Uh, let's not

482
00:20:22,839 --> 00:20:24,270
get ahead of ourselves.

483
00:20:24,294 --> 00:20:25,861
That happens in the distant future.

484
00:20:25,885 --> 00:20:27,451
Why is Thor crying? Quick! Tell me.

485
00:20:27,475 --> 00:20:29,486
Do not speak to her.
Stop that. Eyes on me.

486
00:20:29,510 --> 00:20:31,522
I brought you here
to offer you an opportunity.

487
00:20:31,546 --> 00:20:33,441
The opportunity you sought years ago,

488
00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:35,361
but for which you were not ready.

489
00:20:35,385 --> 00:20:36,592
We believe you're ready now.

490
00:20:36,616 --> 00:20:38,633
Ready for a chance
to leave your timeline

491
00:20:38,657 --> 00:20:40,673
and join the greatest universe of all.

492
00:20:40,697 --> 00:20:43,204
I am about to give you the thing
you've always wanted.

493
00:20:43,228 --> 00:20:44,837
Oh, I smell what you're steppin' in.

494
00:20:44,861 --> 00:20:46,471
The power in the Marvel Universe

495
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,529
is about to change forever.

496
00:20:49,970 --> 00:20:51,465
I am the Messiah...

497
00:20:53,810 --> 00:20:56,480
I am...

498
00:20:56,504 --> 00:20:59,177
...Marvel Jesus.

499
00:20:59,507 --> 00:21:01,321
Can you excuse me for just a moment?

500
00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:03,643
I'm just gonna go over here.

501
00:21:06,250 --> 00:21:07,557
Suck it, Fox!

502
00:21:07,581 --> 00:21:09,279
I'm going to Disneyland.

503
00:21:09,303 --> 00:21:11,024
Get fucked!

504
00:21:13,597 --> 00:21:14,597
Where do I sign?

505
00:21:14,621 --> 00:21:16,566
Oh, there's no need for paperwork.

506
00:21:16,590 --> 00:21:18,536
Good. Not to brag, but I do not read.

507
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:19,173
Oh.

508
00:21:19,197 --> 00:21:22,167
There is one thing I will need, though.

509
00:21:25,633 --> 00:21:28,315
Oh, fuck off!

510
00:21:28,339 --> 00:21:30,912
Adorn me, Beardo.

511
00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:52,272
Fuckin' A!

512
00:21:52,296 --> 00:21:53,878
Uhh! It's perfect! FYI,

513
00:21:53,902 --> 00:21:57,850
your tailor is a predator,
but I love it. Snug.

514
00:21:57,874 --> 00:21:58,542
No camel toe.

515
00:21:58,566 --> 00:22:02,514
New car smell
and adamantium katanas?

516
00:22:02,538 --> 00:22:04,169
You shouldn't have.

517
00:22:04,193 --> 00:22:05,824
Go ahead. Take it in.

518
00:22:05,848 --> 00:22:08,762
And yes, your underwear
is getting tighter.

519
00:22:08,786 --> 00:22:10,560
That guy knows what I'm talking about.

520
00:22:10,584 --> 00:22:12,928
His clothes says middle management,

521
00:22:12,952 --> 00:22:15,296
but his eyes say fuck-y fuck-y.

522
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,298
Yes. You look very nice.

523
00:22:17,322 --> 00:22:18,001
"Nice"?

524
00:22:18,025 --> 00:22:20,235
Your buddy here is ready
to throw it all away for me.

525
00:22:20,259 --> 00:22:21,419
- You callin' your wife?
- HR.

526
00:22:21,443 --> 00:22:22,483
Does your wife work in HR?

527
00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:25,273
I'm really glad you're taking this so well.

528
00:22:25,297 --> 00:22:26,746
Oh, I'm taking it well.

529
00:22:26,770 --> 00:22:29,409
I have never had a problem
traveling for work.

530
00:22:29,433 --> 00:22:31,443
That said, we should talk vacation days.

531
00:22:31,467 --> 00:22:34,249
I'm more of a one-week-on-
one-week-off kind of guy.

532
00:22:34,273 --> 00:22:35,753
I think it's what they do in Denmark.

533
00:22:35,777 --> 00:22:37,857
You know, you'll never see
a Danish flag on the moon,

534
00:22:37,881 --> 00:22:39,253
but goddamn it, they're happy.

535
00:22:39,277 --> 00:22:42,620
Now, let's power up your
little Amazon Fire phone there

536
00:22:42,644 --> 00:22:43,422
and zip me back home

537
00:22:43,446 --> 00:22:46,228
so I can let my friends know
that they've been upgraded

538
00:22:46,252 --> 00:22:46,865
to disciples.

539
00:22:46,889 --> 00:22:49,665
Yeah. I don't think you...
quite understand.

540
00:22:49,689 --> 00:22:52,649
Um, you will not be returning
to your home

541
00:22:52,673 --> 00:22:55,633
because there will be
no home to return to.

542
00:22:55,657 --> 00:22:56,534
Come again?

543
00:22:56,558 --> 00:22:58,494
This time in my ears.

544
00:23:01,563 --> 00:23:05,732
This is your universe, Mr. Wilson.

545
00:23:05,842 --> 00:23:06,676
That

546
00:23:06,700 --> 00:23:08,712
is what happens when a universe

547
00:23:08,736 --> 00:23:10,680
loses their Anchor Being.

548
00:23:10,704 --> 00:23:12,649
See how it decays from the inside?

549
00:23:12,673 --> 00:23:15,603
- This is how a reality dies.
- What's an Anchor Being?

550
00:23:15,627 --> 00:23:18,557
An Anchor Being is an entity
of such vital importance

551
00:23:18,581 --> 00:23:19,293
that when they die,

552
00:23:19,317 --> 00:23:22,362
their whole world slowly
withers out of existence.

553
00:23:22,386 --> 00:23:25,085
You've just won the lottery
because I didn't die.

554
00:23:25,109 --> 00:23:27,808
It was just a little midlife
crisis. I'm better now.

555
00:23:27,832 --> 00:23:30,966
Oh, no, no, no.

556
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,442
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, I love to laugh.

557
00:23:36,466 --> 00:23:39,314
Can you imagine
if you were the Anchor Being?

558
00:23:39,338 --> 00:23:42,135
- Yeah.
- Oh!

559
00:23:42,159 --> 00:23:44,957
- Yeah.
- No, it isn't you, Mr. Wilson.

560
00:23:44,981 --> 00:23:46,089
Your Anchor Being died

561
00:23:46,113 --> 00:23:48,993
in an act of self-sacrifice so epic

562
00:23:49,017 --> 00:23:51,898
that it sent shivers down the Timeline.

563
00:23:51,922 --> 00:23:55,925
I am referring, of course, to...

564
00:23:56,552 --> 00:24:01,029
Logan. The Wolverine.

565
00:24:03,262 --> 00:24:06,930
Don't be what they made you.

566
00:24:15,670 --> 00:24:19,542
Ah, so this is what it feels like...

567
00:24:20,576 --> 00:24:22,413
Logan.

568
00:24:22,644 --> 00:24:24,151
Of course.

569
00:24:24,382 --> 00:24:25,812
Logan.

570
00:24:28,051 --> 00:24:29,264
Logan?

571
00:24:29,288 --> 00:24:31,167
The guy with forks for hands?

572
00:24:31,191 --> 00:24:33,301
That Wolverine?

573
00:24:33,325 --> 00:24:35,435
Yeah, I got it. You can turn your

574
00:24:35,459 --> 00:24:37,878
retro graphics of death
off now. Make it stop.

575
00:24:37,902 --> 00:24:39,605
We're not doing it, Mr. Wilson.

576
00:24:39,629 --> 00:24:41,663
We certainly can't stop it.

577
00:24:42,730 --> 00:24:43,773
How long have we got?

578
00:24:43,797 --> 00:24:45,759
In most cases, couple thousand years.

579
00:24:45,783 --> 00:24:48,006
- Well, sweet.
- Well, most cases

580
00:24:48,030 --> 00:24:49,712
aren't fast enough. Not for me.

581
00:24:49,736 --> 00:24:51,583
What does that mean?

582
00:24:51,607 --> 00:24:53,453
It means that I have been tasked

583
00:24:53,477 --> 00:24:56,325
with overseeing the end of your universe.

584
00:24:56,349 --> 00:24:57,094
And regardless of what

585
00:24:57,118 --> 00:24:59,427
the pencil pushers upstairs would prefer,

586
00:24:59,451 --> 00:24:59,998
I will not

587
00:25:00,022 --> 00:25:03,563
waste my life watching it die
slowly of natural causes.

588
00:25:03,587 --> 00:25:05,680
We used to just prune
these things. Simple.

589
00:25:05,704 --> 00:25:07,960
Elegant. Efficient. But I'm told the TVA

590
00:25:07,984 --> 00:25:10,084
doesn't like to do that
anymore. Well, I do.

591
00:25:10,108 --> 00:25:12,681
And no matter what
my so-called superiors say,

592
00:25:12,705 --> 00:25:15,278
the multiverse does not
need a babysitter.

593
00:25:15,302 --> 00:25:16,944
We need a mercy killer.

594
00:25:16,968 --> 00:25:18,610
And in this instance,

595
00:25:18,634 --> 00:25:22,638
I am the mercy killer. Ha!

596
00:25:26,081 --> 00:25:27,586
What in the MacGuffin is that?

597
00:25:27,610 --> 00:25:30,623
That's a Time Ripper, Mr. Wilson.

598
00:25:30,647 --> 00:25:31,722
An accelerant.

599
00:25:31,746 --> 00:25:34,495
Once completed,
it will allow me to destroy

600
00:25:34,519 --> 00:25:36,898
the space time matrix of your universe.

601
00:25:36,922 --> 00:25:39,302
You see, I don't want
to work for the TVA.

602
00:25:39,326 --> 00:25:40,533
I want to be the TVA.

603
00:25:40,557 --> 00:25:43,702
And the first step involves
showing this organization

604
00:25:43,726 --> 00:25:45,654
how much more efficient it can become.

605
00:25:45,678 --> 00:25:47,607
To wit, I will be giving your universe

606
00:25:47,631 --> 00:25:49,707
a swift and compassionate end.

607
00:25:49,731 --> 00:25:51,651
And don't worry, your friends
won't feel a thing.

608
00:25:51,675 --> 00:25:55,440
It'll be over just like this.
"Oh, what's that?"

609
00:25:55,539 --> 00:25:57,079
Trust me.

610
00:26:08,519 --> 00:26:11,301
You're gonna Old Yeller
my fucking universe?

611
00:26:11,325 --> 00:26:13,302
Mm... In your parlance, yes.

612
00:26:13,326 --> 00:26:14,686
Two in the heart, one in the head.

613
00:26:14,710 --> 00:26:16,503
Look, Mr. Wilson, you have two choices.

614
00:26:16,527 --> 00:26:18,571
You can either rejoin your loved ones

615
00:26:18,595 --> 00:26:20,640
and collectively cease to exist in,

616
00:26:20,664 --> 00:26:23,543
I'd say, 72 hours. Or...

617
00:26:23,567 --> 00:26:25,809
you join the Sacred Timeline.

618
00:26:25,833 --> 00:26:28,813
And you end your days of insignificance

619
00:26:28,837 --> 00:26:31,189
and mediocrity.

620
00:26:31,213 --> 00:26:32,519
Wade.

621
00:26:32,543 --> 00:26:34,588
Wade, you can finally,

622
00:26:34,612 --> 00:26:37,680
finally matter.

623
00:26:46,326 --> 00:26:49,042
That's all I've ever really wanted.

624
00:26:49,066 --> 00:26:50,858
I know.

625
00:26:50,957 --> 00:26:52,209
I know.

626
00:26:52,233 --> 00:26:54,707
And you know I'm... I'm nothing if not

627
00:26:54,731 --> 00:26:56,864
morally flexible.

628
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,505
Yep, yep.

629
00:27:01,879 --> 00:27:02,879
I'll do it.

630
00:27:02,903 --> 00:27:03,814
Wise choice.

631
00:27:03,838 --> 00:27:05,398
The Sacred Timeline's happy
to have you.

632
00:27:05,422 --> 00:27:07,439
I was actually talking about finding

633
00:27:07,463 --> 00:27:09,613
the Wolverine and breaking
your fucking nose.

634
00:27:13,057 --> 00:27:16,833
♪ And I'd give up forever to touch you ♪

635
00:27:16,857 --> 00:27:20,657
♪ 'Cause I know
that you feel me somehow ♪

636
00:27:22,626 --> 00:27:24,604
Find him. Find him!

637
00:27:24,628 --> 00:27:27,235
And boy, did he ever.

638
00:27:28,500 --> 00:27:30,931
Which brings us back to this.

639
00:27:31,701 --> 00:27:33,834
The desecration of the sacred corpse.

640
00:27:38,543 --> 00:27:40,974
Oh, my God!

641
00:27:41,315 --> 00:27:44,417
Oh! My own fucking arm!

642
00:27:46,881 --> 00:27:48,893
Now we're talkin'!

643
00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:50,565
Not like this!

644
00:27:50,589 --> 00:27:52,203
No, dear God! No!

645
00:27:52,227 --> 00:27:54,800
I'm sorry! Wolverine-ing is hard!

646
00:27:54,824 --> 00:27:56,186
Make it stop!

647
00:27:56,210 --> 00:27:57,595
Mangold tried.

648
00:28:00,466 --> 00:28:01,993
You sick fuck!

649
00:28:02,017 --> 00:28:03,544
Logan was a hero.

650
00:28:03,568 --> 00:28:05,316
And the only thing worth a shit

651
00:28:05,340 --> 00:28:07,374
to ever come out of Canada.

652
00:28:14,282 --> 00:28:16,723
Get my country's name

653
00:28:16,747 --> 00:28:19,716
out of your fuckin' mouth.

654
00:28:19,815 --> 00:28:22,488
And my sword. Give me that.

655
00:28:24,820 --> 00:28:27,932
Oh, I gotta find me another Logan.

656
00:28:27,956 --> 00:28:28,734
An alive one.

657
00:28:28,758 --> 00:28:31,496
Don't get up, guys. I'll see myself out.

658
00:28:39,406 --> 00:28:40,836
Logan!

659
00:28:43,377 --> 00:28:46,149
I'm gonna need you to come with me.

660
00:28:46,710 --> 00:28:48,481
Who's asking?

661
00:28:49,350 --> 00:28:51,461
Oh, look at this little Hairy Lou Retton.

662
00:28:51,485 --> 00:28:54,398
Did you stick the landing, little guy?

663
00:28:54,422 --> 00:28:55,266
Yes, you did!

664
00:28:55,290 --> 00:28:57,301
Comic-accurate short king.

665
00:28:57,325 --> 00:28:58,984
Such a cute wittle Wolvie.

666
00:28:59,008 --> 00:29:00,667
Cue the fuckin' montage, baby.

667
00:29:00,691 --> 00:29:02,670
Ahoy!

668
00:29:02,694 --> 00:29:05,244
Everything seems to be on fire.

669
00:29:05,268 --> 00:29:06,343
You have a dragon?

670
00:29:06,367 --> 00:29:09,667
Ooh, you have Anchor Being
written all over...

671
00:29:13,033 --> 00:29:17,322
♪ Make a one man weep,
make another man sing ♪

672
00:29:17,346 --> 00:29:19,489
♪ Change a hawk... ♪

673
00:29:19,513 --> 00:29:19,983
Patch!

674
00:29:20,007 --> 00:29:24,187
Oh, now we're talkin'.

675
00:29:24,385 --> 00:29:25,461
Oh, yeah.

676
00:29:25,485 --> 00:29:28,752
That's the whole goddamn
package right there.

677
00:29:28,795 --> 00:29:29,795
Howdy!

678
00:29:29,819 --> 00:29:32,947
I'm just... I'm auditioning Anchor Beings.

679
00:29:32,971 --> 00:29:36,122
Oh. Yeah, that's gonna need
some coconut oil.

680
00:29:40,231 --> 00:29:41,906
What in the fuck?

681
00:29:41,930 --> 00:29:44,250
Are you okay?

682
00:29:44,274 --> 00:29:44,876
Oh, yes, yes.

683
00:29:44,900 --> 00:29:46,647
Classic John Byrne brown and tan.

684
00:29:46,671 --> 00:29:48,772
Now, you fought the Hulk
in this outfit. No?

685
00:29:51,275 --> 00:29:53,754
I'm Marvel Jesus, you dull creature,

686
00:29:53,778 --> 00:29:54,778
and I will not...

687
00:30:03,721 --> 00:30:07,956
It's not you. We're just going
in a different direction.

688
00:30:10,243 --> 00:30:11,243
You know, from behind,

689
00:30:11,267 --> 00:30:12,667
you look a little bit like Henry...

690
00:30:12,691 --> 00:30:14,717
Oh, my fuck!

691
00:30:14,741 --> 00:30:16,908
The Cavillrine. The legends are true.

692
00:30:16,932 --> 00:30:20,484
And may I say, sir,
on behalf of all humanity,

693
00:30:20,508 --> 00:30:22,221
this just feels right.

694
00:30:22,245 --> 00:30:23,618
We will treat you so much better

695
00:30:23,642 --> 00:30:25,162
than those shit fucks down the street.

696
00:30:25,186 --> 00:30:27,386
- You were just leavin'.
- No, sir.

697
00:30:27,410 --> 00:30:29,879
Not while the fate of my universe is at...

698
00:30:33,817 --> 00:30:35,598
This one looks promising.

699
00:30:35,622 --> 00:30:37,458
Down you go.

700
00:30:38,327 --> 00:30:39,700
Again.

701
00:30:39,724 --> 00:30:42,198
I told you. You're not welcome here.

702
00:30:42,222 --> 00:30:43,369
You're not welcome anywhere.

703
00:30:43,393 --> 00:30:44,633
Now get the fuck out of my bar.

704
00:30:44,657 --> 00:30:47,412
Just give me one more drink
and then I'll leave.

705
00:30:47,436 --> 00:30:49,204
That's not how it works.

706
00:30:49,228 --> 00:30:52,010
It does now. Leave the bottle.

707
00:30:52,034 --> 00:30:52,944
I know you, bub?

708
00:30:52,968 --> 00:30:55,331
Nope. But I know you.

709
00:30:55,355 --> 00:30:57,742
Everybody knows me.

710
00:30:58,578 --> 00:30:59,787
I'm the Wolverine.

711
00:30:59,811 --> 00:31:01,491
Yes, you are.

712
00:31:01,515 --> 00:31:04,881
And I'm gonna need you
to come with me right now.

713
00:31:05,211 --> 00:31:06,793
Look, lady, I'm not interested.

714
00:31:06,817 --> 00:31:08,400
Really gettin' into your cups here.

715
00:31:08,424 --> 00:31:10,623
Why would I go with you?

716
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:12,932
Because, unfortunately,

717
00:31:12,956 --> 00:31:13,536
I need you,

718
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:18,773
and even more unfortunately,
my entire world needs you.

719
00:31:18,797 --> 00:31:21,161
You two gonna fuck or fight?

720
00:31:24,307 --> 00:31:25,846
You gonna take that from him?

721
00:31:25,870 --> 00:31:26,912
Yep.

722
00:31:26,936 --> 00:31:29,212
I can tell you have a sort
of don't-get-too-close-

723
00:31:29,236 --> 00:31:31,357
I'll-only-break-your-heart vibe going here,

724
00:31:31,381 --> 00:31:32,324
but every other Wolverine

725
00:31:32,348 --> 00:31:33,474
would've really hurt me by now.

726
00:31:33,498 --> 00:31:34,818
And I'm sort of on the tick-tick.

727
00:31:34,842 --> 00:31:36,560
- So, upsy-daisy. Here we go.
- Whoa, whoa.

728
00:31:36,584 --> 00:31:37,660
- Up you go.
- Hey, hey!

729
00:31:37,684 --> 00:31:39,553
I got you, big guy.

730
00:31:40,455 --> 00:31:41,852
Oh.

731
00:31:42,328 --> 00:31:43,368
Whiskey dick of the claws.

732
00:31:43,392 --> 00:31:45,404
It's quite common in Wolverines over 40.

733
00:31:45,428 --> 00:31:46,129
You don't want this.

734
00:31:46,153 --> 00:31:48,803
You're right. I don't.
And you don't want this.

735
00:31:48,827 --> 00:31:50,541
Unless you wanna take a deep breath

736
00:31:50,565 --> 00:31:51,839
through your fuckin' forehead,

737
00:31:51,863 --> 00:31:54,204
I suggest you reconsider.

738
00:31:54,228 --> 00:31:55,932
Let's go, peanut.

739
00:31:59,606 --> 00:32:02,388
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

740
00:32:02,412 --> 00:32:03,940
Watch this.

741
00:32:04,270 --> 00:32:06,920
All right. That... Whoa.

742
00:32:06,944 --> 00:32:08,582
Easy.

743
00:32:11,562 --> 00:32:12,562
Good God.

744
00:32:12,586 --> 00:32:15,688
Thirsty little honey badger, aren't ya?

745
00:32:15,919 --> 00:32:17,259
It's okay. Keep goin'.

746
00:32:17,283 --> 00:32:20,462
Audiences are accustomed
to long run times.

747
00:32:24,961 --> 00:32:27,677
Guess you'll have to do.

748
00:32:27,701 --> 00:32:29,438
Okay, here we...

749
00:32:29,636 --> 00:32:32,417
Oh! Look at those jammies.

750
00:32:32,441 --> 00:32:35,365
That only took 20 fucking years.

751
00:32:35,389 --> 00:32:38,314
One Anchor Being coming right up!

752
00:32:38,338 --> 00:32:39,837
On your left, baby girl.

753
00:32:39,861 --> 00:32:41,360
This Logan has the same

754
00:32:41,384 --> 00:32:43,577
he-can-do-anything-even-musicals look.

755
00:32:43,601 --> 00:32:45,794
And bonus, he's actually
wearing a costume

756
00:32:45,818 --> 00:32:47,295
like he's not embarrassed to be

757
00:32:47,319 --> 00:32:48,797
in a superhero movie for once.

758
00:32:48,821 --> 00:32:50,292
I don't understand.

759
00:32:50,316 --> 00:32:51,194
You said my universe is dying

760
00:32:51,218 --> 00:32:53,703
because this sack of nuts
got himself killed.

761
00:32:53,727 --> 00:32:56,265
- Well, problem solved.
- My God.

762
00:32:56,289 --> 00:33:01,447
You actually think you can
replace an Anchor Being

763
00:33:01,471 --> 00:33:02,579
with this?

764
00:33:02,603 --> 00:33:05,715
I wouldn't have accepted
any other Wolverine, BT dubs.

765
00:33:05,739 --> 00:33:07,551
But you have outdone yourself

766
00:33:07,575 --> 00:33:09,537
and brought me the worst Wolverine!

767
00:33:09,561 --> 00:33:11,523
What do you mean, the worst one?

768
00:33:11,547 --> 00:33:12,457
Mr. Wilson.

769
00:33:12,481 --> 00:33:16,351
This Wolverine let down his entire world.

770
00:33:16,375 --> 00:33:19,432
He's the stuff of legend,
but not in a good way.

771
00:33:19,456 --> 00:33:20,796
And what he did,

772
00:33:20,820 --> 00:33:21,499
well,

773
00:33:21,523 --> 00:33:24,955
some things are just beyond forgiveness.

774
00:33:26,296 --> 00:33:27,296
Okay.

775
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:30,542
How do I... How do I make
this right? I'll do anything.

776
00:33:30,566 --> 00:33:33,368
I gave you a chance at greatness.

777
00:33:33,392 --> 00:33:36,207
Because my superiors
deemed you "special."

778
00:33:36,231 --> 00:33:38,011
Clearly not special in a good way.

779
00:33:38,035 --> 00:33:38,780
Apparently you have some

780
00:33:38,804 --> 00:33:41,278
important future purpose to serve.

781
00:33:41,302 --> 00:33:42,422
With Thor. He holds me.

782
00:33:42,446 --> 00:33:43,785
But I did my duty.

783
00:33:43,809 --> 00:33:45,953
I gave you the opportunity
to be somebody.

784
00:33:45,977 --> 00:33:47,723
And instead of accepting my offering

785
00:33:47,747 --> 00:33:50,793
with humility and gratitude,
you broke my nose.

786
00:33:50,817 --> 00:33:51,529
It looks great.

787
00:33:51,553 --> 00:33:53,196
And you decimated dozens of my men

788
00:33:53,220 --> 00:33:54,862
with the exhumed corpse of a hero.

789
00:33:54,886 --> 00:33:57,701
Dishonoring not only
his remains but his memory.

790
00:33:57,725 --> 00:33:59,197
What are you, the Internet?

791
00:33:59,221 --> 00:34:00,968
Your world is dying!

792
00:34:00,992 --> 00:34:02,738
Thank you very much.

793
00:34:02,762 --> 00:34:04,863
And there's no stopping it.

794
00:34:05,897 --> 00:34:07,942
The humane thing to do

795
00:34:07,966 --> 00:34:08,678
is to make it quick.

796
00:34:08,702 --> 00:34:10,978
Is the thought of vaporizing my universe

797
00:34:11,002 --> 00:34:11,995
making you peckish?

798
00:34:12,019 --> 00:34:13,012
I'm eating my feelings.

799
00:34:13,036 --> 00:34:15,196
I'm about to lose everything
that I've ever cared about

800
00:34:15,220 --> 00:34:18,348
because that hairy thundercunt
from down undercunt

801
00:34:18,372 --> 00:34:18,985
finally dies,

802
00:34:19,009 --> 00:34:21,527
and he's standing
right behind me, isn't he?

803
00:34:21,551 --> 00:34:23,528
Welcome to the MCU, by the way.

804
00:34:23,552 --> 00:34:25,646
You're joining at a bit of a low point.

805
00:34:25,670 --> 00:34:27,436
As for you, I wanna talk to your boss.

806
00:34:27,460 --> 00:34:29,349
I want you to get him on the phone

807
00:34:29,373 --> 00:34:31,261
and you tell him, her, or them,

808
00:34:31,285 --> 00:34:34,596
that Marvel H. Christ isn't playing.

809
00:34:39,392 --> 00:34:40,875
Holy shit.

810
00:34:40,899 --> 00:34:42,481
I just heard a symphony

811
00:34:42,505 --> 00:34:44,946
of butt holes clenching all at once.

812
00:34:44,970 --> 00:34:45,550
You're off grid.

813
00:34:45,574 --> 00:34:47,410
Your bosses don't know
what you sick fucks

814
00:34:47,434 --> 00:34:48,377
are doing down here.

815
00:34:48,401 --> 00:34:49,312
Well, I'll tell you what.

816
00:34:49,336 --> 00:34:51,524
I have a black belt in Karen...

817
00:34:51,548 --> 00:34:52,447
And I'm gonna go upstairs

818
00:34:52,471 --> 00:34:55,891
and I'm gonna tell 'em
all about you and your...

819
00:34:55,915 --> 00:34:57,794
Oh, silence is nice, isn't it?

820
00:34:57,818 --> 00:34:58,629
Where the fuck did he go?

821
00:34:58,653 --> 00:35:01,315
To the trash heap. You'll fit right in.

822
00:35:02,619 --> 00:35:03,898
Whew.

823
00:35:03,922 --> 00:35:06,155
That was close.

824
00:35:25,746 --> 00:35:28,891
Don't just stand there, you ape.

825
00:35:28,915 --> 00:35:30,529
Give me a hand up.

826
00:35:30,553 --> 00:35:32,190
Nope. I'm actually okay.

827
00:35:32,214 --> 00:35:35,700
Thank you very much.

828
00:35:35,724 --> 00:35:36,799
Where the hell are we?

829
00:35:36,823 --> 00:35:39,297
I don't know. Looks kind of Mad Max-y.

830
00:35:39,321 --> 00:35:41,871
But that would be IP infringement, right?

831
00:35:41,895 --> 00:35:42,895
Fucking jokes.

832
00:35:46,492 --> 00:35:47,612
Fuck! Fuck.

833
00:35:47,636 --> 00:35:49,036
Were you even listening back there?

834
00:35:49,060 --> 00:35:52,277
If we don't make it back
to that Mr. Paradox asshole,

835
00:35:52,301 --> 00:35:53,817
everyone I know is gonna die.

836
00:35:53,841 --> 00:35:55,500
Not my fuckin' problem.

837
00:35:55,524 --> 00:35:57,182
Oh, is that all you got?

838
00:35:57,206 --> 00:36:00,560
Is that what you said
when your world went to shit?

839
00:36:00,584 --> 00:36:02,875
Come again?

840
00:36:02,899 --> 00:36:05,116
Yeah, I heard all about you.

841
00:36:05,140 --> 00:36:07,358
How you screwed up everything.

842
00:36:07,382 --> 00:36:08,193
You should be thankin' me

843
00:36:08,217 --> 00:36:10,547
for pulling you out of that bed you shit in.

844
00:36:10,571 --> 00:36:12,925
You back-stabbing son of a bitch!

845
00:36:18,491 --> 00:36:20,564
Are you ready to be calm now?

846
00:36:26,972 --> 00:36:28,775
Rest in pieces, Fox.

847
00:36:43,989 --> 00:36:46,761
I don't want to fight you, peanut.

848
00:36:46,926 --> 00:36:48,530
Doesn't matter what you did.

849
00:36:48,554 --> 00:36:51,194
I just need your help.

850
00:36:51,766 --> 00:36:54,131
I don't fuckin' care.

851
00:36:54,835 --> 00:36:56,737
Uh... Uh-oh.

852
00:37:01,974 --> 00:37:05,406
Fuck. This is gonna hurt.

853
00:37:08,849 --> 00:37:10,156
All right.

854
00:37:10,180 --> 00:37:11,487
Fuck it.

855
00:37:11,511 --> 00:37:14,408
Let's give the people what they came for.

856
00:37:14,432 --> 00:37:17,329
Let's fuckin' go.

857
00:37:17,353 --> 00:37:19,804
Get your special sock out, nerds.

858
00:37:19,828 --> 00:37:22,555
It's gonna get good.

859
00:37:55,456 --> 00:37:58,063
♪ Hell's bells ♪

860
00:37:58,701 --> 00:38:01,780
♪ I'll give you black sensations ♪

861
00:38:01,804 --> 00:38:04,210
♪ Up and down your spine ♪

862
00:38:04,234 --> 00:38:07,846
♪ If you're into evil,
you're a friend of mine ♪

863
00:38:07,870 --> 00:38:11,482
♪ See my white light flashing
as I split the night ♪

864
00:38:11,506 --> 00:38:14,508
Ew.

865
00:38:14,948 --> 00:38:15,386
Gotcha!

866
00:38:15,410 --> 00:38:19,160
♪ I got my bell, I'm gonna
take you to hell ♪

867
00:38:19,184 --> 00:38:22,163
♪ I'm gonna get you, Satan get you ♪

868
00:38:22,187 --> 00:38:24,584
Baby Knife!

869
00:38:27,389 --> 00:38:28,840
Let's see you grow

870
00:38:28,864 --> 00:38:29,565
your fuckin' head back.

871
00:38:29,589 --> 00:38:32,156
Wait, wait, wait! I can fix it! I can fix it.

872
00:38:32,180 --> 00:38:34,747
- Fix what?
- Whatever it is that you did.

873
00:38:34,771 --> 00:38:36,848
Whatever made you so bad.

874
00:38:36,872 --> 00:38:37,848
Those... Those

875
00:38:37,872 --> 00:38:41,280
pricks in the TVA. You heard him.

876
00:38:41,304 --> 00:38:42,864
They have the power to end my universe,

877
00:38:42,888 --> 00:38:47,086
but they also have
the power to change yours.

878
00:38:47,409 --> 00:38:51,357
We get back there,
and we can fix your world.

879
00:38:51,381 --> 00:38:53,052
Together.

880
00:38:53,822 --> 00:38:55,582
I promise.

881
00:38:56,451 --> 00:38:58,189
They can fix it.

882
00:38:58,771 --> 00:38:59,771
Hey!

883
00:38:59,795 --> 00:39:01,520
We fight each other, we lose.

884
00:39:01,544 --> 00:39:03,429
Dear God, it's him.

885
00:39:03,453 --> 00:39:05,337
- Who?
- The one.

886
00:39:05,361 --> 00:39:08,275
The superhero equivalent
to comfort food, or Molly.

887
00:39:08,299 --> 00:39:11,476
White guys' answer
to all the disappointments.

888
00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:12,543
And another A-lister.

889
00:39:12,567 --> 00:39:13,609
Fair warning, gorgeous.

890
00:39:13,633 --> 00:39:16,183
You're going to encounter
some indelicate language,

891
00:39:16,207 --> 00:39:18,758
a smidge of ass play,
but we've been prohibited

892
00:39:18,782 --> 00:39:20,286
from using cocaine. On camera.

893
00:39:20,310 --> 00:39:23,230
- They're coming.
- Who's "they"?

894
00:39:29,649 --> 00:39:31,959
Oh, they're driving angry.

895
00:39:36,997 --> 00:39:39,449
Now that's a superhero landing.

896
00:39:46,304 --> 00:39:47,304
I got this.

897
00:40:11,206 --> 00:40:12,206
Stay close.

898
00:40:12,230 --> 00:40:14,166
Aye, aye, Cap'n.

899
00:40:14,903 --> 00:40:16,663
You got this.

900
00:40:17,301 --> 00:40:22,471
Cassandra is gonna be giddy
when she sees what we caught.

901
00:40:22,679 --> 00:40:23,679
You can't run.

902
00:40:23,703 --> 00:40:24,614
Everybody knows that.

903
00:40:24,638 --> 00:40:26,935
You see anyone runnin', dick for brains?

904
00:40:26,959 --> 00:40:29,256
You're not gonna love
what happens next.

905
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:31,622
Oh. Oh, my God.

906
00:40:31,646 --> 00:40:34,295
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, he's gonna say it.

907
00:40:34,319 --> 00:40:35,527
- Ah! Fuck.
- Ha!

908
00:40:35,551 --> 00:40:36,758
Oh, my God! He's gonna say it!

909
00:40:36,782 --> 00:40:38,865
- Say what?
- Avengers, assemble...

910
00:40:38,889 --> 00:40:40,995
- Flame on!
- I'm sorry, what now?

911
00:41:02,281 --> 00:41:03,863
Ohh!

912
00:41:03,887 --> 00:41:05,260
Fuck!

913
00:41:05,284 --> 00:41:06,680
Ahhh!

914
00:41:08,319 --> 00:41:11,398
- We don't know that guy.
- We thought we did.

915
00:41:11,422 --> 00:41:12,871
I know you.

916
00:41:12,895 --> 00:41:16,096
Holy sh...

917
00:41:17,493 --> 00:41:18,938
Sabretooth.

918
00:41:18,962 --> 00:41:20,430
Your brother.

919
00:41:20,595 --> 00:41:21,671
Ready to die?

920
00:41:21,695 --> 00:41:25,544
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Time!

921
00:41:25,568 --> 00:41:26,742
You look ridiculous.

922
00:41:26,766 --> 00:41:29,515
People have waited decades
for this fight.

923
00:41:29,539 --> 00:41:31,517
It's not gonna be easy. Baby Knife.

924
00:41:31,541 --> 00:41:33,519
Shoot the double, you take him down.

925
00:41:33,543 --> 00:41:35,818
Side control, then full mount,

926
00:41:35,842 --> 00:41:36,752
and you ground and pound

927
00:41:36,776 --> 00:41:38,705
till he makes no sound
because he's dead.

928
00:41:38,729 --> 00:41:40,658
- Shut the fuck up!
- Oh, my God!

929
00:41:40,682 --> 00:41:43,420
Okay. Good luck. I'm a huge fan.

930
00:41:54,937 --> 00:41:56,343
What is it, girl?

931
00:41:56,367 --> 00:41:59,568
Is there trouble at the well?

932
00:42:03,671 --> 00:42:05,650
Big trouble.

933
00:42:05,674 --> 00:42:06,815
Behold!

934
00:42:06,839 --> 00:42:10,589
The head of your precious queen,

935
00:42:10,613 --> 00:42:12,020
Furiosa!

936
00:42:12,449 --> 00:42:15,043
I have the Wolverine!

937
00:42:15,067 --> 00:42:17,469
I alone control her!

938
00:42:17,493 --> 00:42:20,255
You come for me,

939
00:42:20,279 --> 00:42:23,064
you come for her.

940
00:42:23,526 --> 00:42:25,724
So sorry. I know it's pronounced "him."

941
00:42:25,748 --> 00:42:27,947
I'm gender blind. It's my cross to bear.

942
00:42:27,971 --> 00:42:29,277
Who's next?

943
00:42:29,301 --> 00:42:30,609
Toad!

944
00:42:30,633 --> 00:42:32,436
You're up.

945
00:42:38,650 --> 00:42:39,650
Uh-oh.

946
00:42:39,674 --> 00:42:41,445
- Oh, holy sh...
- Fuck.

947
00:42:52,253 --> 00:42:54,689
God of Thunder.

948
00:42:57,791 --> 00:42:59,236
How long was I asleep?

949
00:42:59,260 --> 00:43:00,704
Not all of you was asleep.

950
00:43:00,728 --> 00:43:02,641
Don't bother.

951
00:43:02,665 --> 00:43:04,576
They're very thorough.

952
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:07,811
If you know where we are, start talking.

953
00:43:07,835 --> 00:43:09,416
You're in The Void.

954
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:11,253
Think of it as purgatory.

955
00:43:11,277 --> 00:43:13,850
Reed called it a metaphysical junkyard.

956
00:43:13,874 --> 00:43:15,224
Where anything useless goes

957
00:43:15,248 --> 00:43:17,226
before it gets annihilated forever.

958
00:43:17,250 --> 00:43:20,362
And where the TVA sends
people that don't play nice

959
00:43:20,386 --> 00:43:21,792
with the rest of the multiverse.

960
00:43:21,816 --> 00:43:23,199
- Like you?
- And you.

961
00:43:23,223 --> 00:43:25,796
What does the annihilating?

962
00:43:25,820 --> 00:43:26,367
Alioth.

963
00:43:26,391 --> 00:43:28,067
Alioth is in this thing?

964
00:43:28,091 --> 00:43:29,766
From Loki, Season 1, Episode 5?

965
00:43:29,790 --> 00:43:32,935
Everyone here is on the run from Alioth.

966
00:43:32,959 --> 00:43:34,474
Most don't make it.

967
00:43:34,498 --> 00:43:36,245
There's a resistance, though.

968
00:43:36,269 --> 00:43:39,348
Other people like us
that managed to survive.

969
00:43:39,372 --> 00:43:41,498
They're hidin' out in the borderlands,

970
00:43:41,522 --> 00:43:43,649
trying to find a way the fuck outta here.

971
00:43:43,673 --> 00:43:45,200
Then that's where we go.

972
00:43:45,224 --> 00:43:47,444
"We"? Us? A team?

973
00:43:47,468 --> 00:43:49,688
The answer is yes. Shake on it.

974
00:43:49,712 --> 00:43:50,457
Fuck! You nicked it.

975
00:43:50,481 --> 00:43:52,844
Just got the tip with
your little steak knife.

976
00:43:52,868 --> 00:43:55,232
These "others" can help us
get back to the TVA.

977
00:43:55,256 --> 00:43:56,872
Make 'em fix things.

978
00:43:58,231 --> 00:43:59,565
Something funny, bub?

979
00:43:59,589 --> 00:44:01,931
She might have somethin'
to say about that.

980
00:44:01,955 --> 00:44:03,758
Who's "she"?

981
00:44:04,406 --> 00:44:05,406
In The Void,

982
00:44:05,430 --> 00:44:07,937
you're either food for Alioth

983
00:44:07,961 --> 00:44:09,796
or you work for her.

984
00:45:21,935 --> 00:45:24,265
Huh. Paul Rudd finally aged.

985
00:45:24,289 --> 00:45:26,493
Oh, you must be this year's Juggernaut.

986
00:45:26,517 --> 00:45:28,721
- Thank you.
- I'd keep your voices down.

987
00:45:28,745 --> 00:45:30,261
She don't like the chatter.

988
00:45:30,285 --> 00:45:32,187
She's gonna love you.

989
00:45:47,235 --> 00:45:49,247
Is it... Is that Charles?

990
00:45:49,271 --> 00:45:51,678
Hey... Hey, Chuck! It's us!

991
00:45:51,702 --> 00:45:53,185
That's not Chuck.

992
00:45:53,209 --> 00:45:54,902
Ah, shit.

993
00:45:55,441 --> 00:45:56,451
Oh, ableism. Great.

994
00:45:56,475 --> 00:45:59,752
That's not gonna go over well
with the woke mob.

995
00:45:59,776 --> 00:46:01,357
A Wolverine.

996
00:46:01,381 --> 00:46:04,724
I wondered when I'd get one of you.

997
00:46:04,748 --> 00:46:05,526
You're one of Xavier's.

998
00:46:05,550 --> 00:46:07,826
You-You know him? You know Chuck?

999
00:46:07,850 --> 00:46:08,997
Oh, I knew him.

1000
00:46:09,021 --> 00:46:10,168
We shared a womb.

1001
00:46:10,192 --> 00:46:12,831
Tried to strangle the sly little fellow

1002
00:46:12,855 --> 00:46:13,567
with my umbilical cord.

1003
00:46:13,591 --> 00:46:17,638
Amen. I've never
loved roommates. Mine's blind.

1004
00:46:17,662 --> 00:46:19,475
Except she can see cocaine.

1005
00:46:19,499 --> 00:46:20,277
For some... reason.

1006
00:46:20,301 --> 00:46:24,249
You want to chime in,
Your Majesty? I'm dying here.

1007
00:46:24,273 --> 00:46:24,842
Who are you?

1008
00:46:24,866 --> 00:46:27,312
Charles Xavier's twin, Cassandra Nova.

1009
00:46:27,336 --> 00:46:29,782
- Bullshit!
- I was an anal birth.

1010
00:46:29,806 --> 00:46:32,223
Hmm. You two are cute.

1011
00:46:32,247 --> 00:46:34,810
I have a good feeling about this.

1012
00:46:36,812 --> 00:46:38,807
And I've been trying to catch

1013
00:46:38,831 --> 00:46:40,826
this little firefly for years.

1014
00:46:40,850 --> 00:46:41,892
Haven't I, Johnny?

1015
00:46:41,916 --> 00:46:45,435
Aw... You picked the wrong
time to make new friends.

1016
00:46:45,459 --> 00:46:47,503
Oh, Johnny told us all about you.

1017
00:46:47,527 --> 00:46:49,571
- Maybe shut up now.
- Yeah, maybe don't...

1018
00:46:49,595 --> 00:46:50,968
We're just talkin' here.

1019
00:46:50,992 --> 00:46:51,704
Yeah, Johnny told us

1020
00:46:51,728 --> 00:46:53,541
you're a psychotic
megalomaniacal asshole.

1021
00:46:53,565 --> 00:46:58,669
His words, not mine.
Hellbent on domination and pain.

1022
00:46:58,834 --> 00:47:00,582
You said all that about me?

1023
00:47:00,606 --> 00:47:01,582
No! No! I don't...

1024
00:47:01,606 --> 00:47:05,170
- I didn't say any of that!
- Sticks and stones, Johnny!

1025
00:47:05,841 --> 00:47:07,687
Don't let her intimidate you.

1026
00:47:07,711 --> 00:47:09,557
It's like you said in the convoy.

1027
00:47:09,581 --> 00:47:11,427
This finger-lickin' dead-inside

1028
00:47:11,451 --> 00:47:14,431
pixie slab of third rate
dime-store nut-milk

1029
00:47:14,455 --> 00:47:16,416
can eat your delicious cinnamon ring

1030
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:18,377
and kick rocks all the way to bald hell.

1031
00:47:18,401 --> 00:47:20,337
Okay. I have never said
any of those words

1032
00:47:20,361 --> 00:47:22,802
- in my entire life!
- Ha! The modesty.

1033
00:47:22,826 --> 00:47:25,277
People think I'm a shit talker.

1034
00:47:25,301 --> 00:47:26,244
But this guy...

1035
00:47:26,268 --> 00:47:27,691
Next level.

1036
00:47:27,715 --> 00:47:29,137
What? This... I... We...

1037
00:47:29,161 --> 00:47:30,875
I don't even know
what half of that means!

1038
00:47:30,899 --> 00:47:32,614
- This... I...
- My hat's off to you, sir.

1039
00:47:32,638 --> 00:47:33,482
- Truly.
- What? This...

1040
00:47:33,506 --> 00:47:35,881
I didn't... He's... That's... I...

1041
00:47:35,905 --> 00:47:37,168
I... I don't...

1042
00:47:42,141 --> 00:47:43,493
Not my favorite Chris.

1043
00:47:43,517 --> 00:47:44,724
You stupid piece of shit.

1044
00:47:44,748 --> 00:47:46,061
You just got him fucking killed!

1045
00:47:46,085 --> 00:47:47,397
Hey! We're all grieving!

1046
00:47:47,421 --> 00:47:50,490
PS, do you know what
he was doing to the budget?

1047
00:47:52,855 --> 00:47:54,899
Alioth is hungry.

1048
00:47:54,923 --> 00:47:56,737
There's been some kind of mistake.

1049
00:47:56,761 --> 00:47:58,606
Big yellow is a back-up Anchor Being,

1050
00:47:58,630 --> 00:48:01,676
and I'm Marvel Jesus.
MJ, if you're nasty.

1051
00:48:01,700 --> 00:48:02,511
This may be hard to hear,

1052
00:48:02,535 --> 00:48:04,112
but there's another British villain

1053
00:48:04,136 --> 00:48:05,713
who's gonna destroy my universe,

1054
00:48:05,737 --> 00:48:06,482
and I'm gonna stop him.

1055
00:48:06,506 --> 00:48:08,320
Oh, honey, you don't really strike me

1056
00:48:08,344 --> 00:48:10,707
as the world-saving type.

1057
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:13,753
Did I hit a nerve?

1058
00:48:13,777 --> 00:48:16,658
I didn't want it to come to this.

1059
00:48:16,682 --> 00:48:17,361
Either you help us

1060
00:48:17,385 --> 00:48:19,143
or my friend here is gonna sing

1061
00:48:19,167 --> 00:48:20,926
the entire second act of Music Man

1062
00:48:20,950 --> 00:48:22,729
with zero warm-up.

1063
00:48:22,753 --> 00:48:23,793
Where'd you get the chair?

1064
00:48:23,817 --> 00:48:24,864
Well, once in a while,

1065
00:48:24,888 --> 00:48:27,262
I do get a Charles through here.

1066
00:48:27,286 --> 00:48:28,537
Never mine, though.

1067
00:48:28,561 --> 00:48:31,342
No. He didn't care to find me.

1068
00:48:31,366 --> 00:48:34,741
Gen Z and their trauma-bragging!

1069
00:48:34,765 --> 00:48:38,317
Can't you just stuff it down,
turn it into accomplishment

1070
00:48:38,341 --> 00:48:40,082
or cancer like the rest of us?

1071
00:48:40,106 --> 00:48:41,848
But I'm not like the rest of you.

1072
00:48:41,872 --> 00:48:43,453
Except maybe the Wolverine.

1073
00:48:43,477 --> 00:48:46,589
Now, we could be
truly terrifying together.

1074
00:48:46,613 --> 00:48:47,754
You're that scary, huh?

1075
00:48:47,778 --> 00:48:49,822
The TVA certainly thought so.

1076
00:48:49,846 --> 00:48:52,562
They sent me here before I could walk.

1077
00:48:52,586 --> 00:48:54,333
And you know, it's the best thing

1078
00:48:54,357 --> 00:48:56,368
that ever happened to me.

1079
00:48:56,392 --> 00:48:56,961
I love it here.

1080
00:48:56,985 --> 00:48:58,127
You live in a garbage dump.

1081
00:48:58,151 --> 00:49:01,901
I think we both know who lives
in the garbage dump.

1082
00:49:01,925 --> 00:49:03,374
The Void is a paradise.

1083
00:49:03,398 --> 00:49:06,641
I can wield my power here
without shame.

1084
00:49:06,665 --> 00:49:09,909
Unfortunately I had no Charles Xavier

1085
00:49:09,933 --> 00:49:11,911
to teach me temperance.

1086
00:49:11,935 --> 00:49:13,913
What about your Charles?

1087
00:49:13,937 --> 00:49:15,749
Did he protect you?

1088
00:49:15,773 --> 00:49:17,751
Did he make you feel safe?

1089
00:49:17,775 --> 00:49:20,343
We're mutants. We're never safe.

1090
00:49:27,620 --> 00:49:28,829
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

1091
00:49:28,853 --> 00:49:30,314
I don't... I don't want the smoke.

1092
00:49:30,338 --> 00:49:31,975
I don't have any beef with you.

1093
00:49:31,999 --> 00:49:33,273
I just want to save my friends.

1094
00:49:33,297 --> 00:49:34,570
I just... I want to go home.

1095
00:49:34,594 --> 00:49:36,738
Well, the thing is, I could get you home.

1096
00:49:36,762 --> 00:49:39,207
- Good.
- But I don't want to.

1097
00:49:39,231 --> 00:49:41,700
Not good.

1098
00:49:43,262 --> 00:49:45,339
What do you want, Wade Wilson?

1099
00:49:45,363 --> 00:49:48,486
Your... fingers are inside me,

1100
00:49:48,510 --> 00:49:49,244
but not in a good way.

1101
00:49:49,268 --> 00:49:52,589
My brother could enter
one's mind with a thought.

1102
00:49:52,613 --> 00:49:54,778
I have to get my hands dirty.

1103
00:49:58,244 --> 00:50:00,081
I've got you.

1104
00:50:01,588 --> 00:50:03,821
I've got you...

1105
00:50:05,185 --> 00:50:07,462
What do you mean?

1106
00:50:07,858 --> 00:50:11,410
I can't... I can't reach you.
You're not here.

1107
00:50:11,434 --> 00:50:12,443
I'm right here.

1108
00:50:12,467 --> 00:50:15,612
- No, you're not. I can't...
- I'm right here.

1109
00:50:15,636 --> 00:50:18,869
Then show me. You got to do something.

1110
00:50:19,275 --> 00:50:20,275
Show you what?

1111
00:50:20,299 --> 00:50:24,796
Show me you care about
something bigger than you.

1112
00:50:24,820 --> 00:50:29,318
Ever since they turned you
down, you took a knee.

1113
00:50:29,342 --> 00:50:32,113
Baby, you never got back up.

1114
00:50:33,246 --> 00:50:35,324
I know you're going through something.

1115
00:50:35,348 --> 00:50:37,600
Let me go through it with you.

1116
00:50:37,624 --> 00:50:41,496
- Your crazy matches my crazy.
- Your crazy matches my crazy.

1117
00:50:44,059 --> 00:50:45,988
Where'd you go?

1118
00:50:46,012 --> 00:50:47,964
Oh, my God.

1119
00:50:50,264 --> 00:50:51,945
You just say it. Okay?

1120
00:50:51,969 --> 00:50:53,649
Say, "I don't want you."

1121
00:50:53,673 --> 00:50:55,585
"I don't want to be with you."

1122
00:50:55,609 --> 00:50:57,346
Go ahead. Say it. Say... Say, "I don't..."

1123
00:50:57,370 --> 00:50:58,935
Say it. You don't wanna be with me.

1124
00:50:58,959 --> 00:51:00,525
Tell me that and I'll walk away.

1125
00:51:00,549 --> 00:51:01,549
Say, "I don't want you."

1126
00:51:08,017 --> 00:51:09,423
Fuck...

1127
00:51:09,447 --> 00:51:12,890
You'll never fucking matter.

1128
00:51:16,355 --> 00:51:17,398
What?

1129
00:51:17,422 --> 00:51:20,535
- You'll never fucking matter.
- Fucking matter.

1130
00:51:26,101 --> 00:51:29,246
- You'll...
- You'll...

1131
00:51:29,270 --> 00:51:30,830
- never...
- never...

1132
00:51:30,854 --> 00:51:33,459
- fucking...
- fucking...

1133
00:51:33,483 --> 00:51:36,111
- matter.
- Matter...

1134
00:51:37,178 --> 00:51:38,359
She never said that.

1135
00:51:38,383 --> 00:51:39,563
No.

1136
00:51:39,587 --> 00:51:41,952
But I bet she thought it.

1137
00:51:42,689 --> 00:51:44,750
You are so mean!

1138
00:51:44,774 --> 00:51:46,835
My brain could taste your fingers,

1139
00:51:46,859 --> 00:51:48,506
and they tasted like hate!

1140
00:51:48,530 --> 00:51:51,708
And where in God's name
is the intimacy coordinator?

1141
00:51:51,732 --> 00:51:54,727
You're so lost, Mr. Wilson.

1142
00:51:54,751 --> 00:51:57,770
And long before you came here.

1143
00:51:58,209 --> 00:51:59,209
This is Baby Knife.

1144
00:51:59,233 --> 00:52:00,849
She's gonna fuck you in the face now.

1145
00:52:00,873 --> 00:52:01,618
If you want to kill me,

1146
00:52:01,642 --> 00:52:03,885
it's going to take more than a little blade.

1147
00:52:03,909 --> 00:52:05,413
How about six?

1148
00:52:05,437 --> 00:52:09,594
My boy's wicked strong.

1149
00:52:09,618 --> 00:52:11,321
That's my big boy.

1150
00:52:11,345 --> 00:52:13,016
Yes, you are.

1151
00:52:18,450 --> 00:52:19,735
Well, this has been fun.

1152
00:52:19,759 --> 00:52:22,355
But the big guy needs to eat,
and the rent is due.

1153
00:52:26,227 --> 00:52:27,270
By the way,

1154
00:52:27,294 --> 00:52:28,801
you're the rent.

1155
00:52:47,413 --> 00:52:49,611
Come on! Fuck!

1156
00:52:49,635 --> 00:52:51,834
You comin' or what?

1157
00:52:51,858 --> 00:52:53,694
Coming!

1158
00:53:12,723 --> 00:53:13,723
What you thinkin' 'bout?

1159
00:53:13,747 --> 00:53:15,588
- Get the fuck off of me!
- Shh, shh, shh.

1160
00:53:15,612 --> 00:53:17,453
- Almost done.
- Almost done what?

1161
00:53:17,477 --> 00:53:19,664
Getting my knife out of your buttocks,

1162
00:53:19,688 --> 00:53:21,423
- pervert!
- Aah! Fuck!

1163
00:53:21,447 --> 00:53:23,876
Get your mind out of my pants!

1164
00:53:23,900 --> 00:53:26,330
- I'm telling Blake.
- New rules.

1165
00:53:26,354 --> 00:53:26,934
I talk now.

1166
00:53:26,958 --> 00:53:28,706
That's gonna be very hard
on the audience.

1167
00:53:28,730 --> 00:53:30,372
Shut the fuck up!

1168
00:53:30,396 --> 00:53:32,038
Let me fuckin' think.

1169
00:53:32,062 --> 00:53:35,098
Now we gotta get back to Paradox, right?

1170
00:53:36,340 --> 00:53:37,340
Right?

1171
00:53:37,364 --> 00:53:40,245
Je m'excuse. Am I allowed
to speak now or...

1172
00:53:40,269 --> 00:53:43,172
Just nod, asshole.

1173
00:53:43,886 --> 00:53:44,886
Right.

1174
00:53:44,910 --> 00:53:46,272
Then we find the others
that poor kid, Johnny,

1175
00:53:46,296 --> 00:53:48,016
was talking about
before you got him killed!

1176
00:53:48,040 --> 00:53:49,122
"Poor kid." He's, like, 50!

1177
00:53:49,146 --> 00:53:50,640
Yeah, if there's a chance they know

1178
00:53:50,664 --> 00:53:52,565
how to get out of here, we find 'em.

1179
00:53:52,589 --> 00:53:54,490
And make those TVA fuckers fix my shit

1180
00:53:54,514 --> 00:53:56,041
like you fucking promised!

1181
00:53:56,065 --> 00:53:57,615
I smell quest.

1182
00:54:00,321 --> 00:54:01,894
I smell food.

1183
00:54:03,621 --> 00:54:08,703
So what made you finally wear
an honest-to-God costume?

1184
00:54:09,165 --> 00:54:11,176
Mine's red so they can't see me bleed.

1185
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:14,312
But I could see how
yellow would be useful too.

1186
00:54:14,336 --> 00:54:16,545
Have you been checked for ADHD?

1187
00:54:16,569 --> 00:54:17,512
Mm-mm.

1188
00:54:17,536 --> 00:54:19,448
But I've had several STDs,

1189
00:54:19,472 --> 00:54:22,188
which were probably caused by ADHD.

1190
00:54:22,212 --> 00:54:23,718
Fuck!

1191
00:54:23,850 --> 00:54:25,763
What are you looking for?

1192
00:54:25,787 --> 00:54:27,731
Oh. Thank fuck.

1193
00:54:27,755 --> 00:54:29,701
No, no, no, no, no.
That's rubbing alcohol.

1194
00:54:29,725 --> 00:54:31,461
You don't want to drink... Oh, yeah.

1195
00:54:31,485 --> 00:54:33,618
There you go. Fuck that liver.

1196
00:54:34,454 --> 00:54:37,061
Good. Okay.

1197
00:54:37,424 --> 00:54:39,195
What the fuck are those?

1198
00:54:39,426 --> 00:54:39,875
Oh.

1199
00:54:39,899 --> 00:54:41,878
Back in civilian life, I wear a toupee,

1200
00:54:41,902 --> 00:54:43,936
but nobody knows.

1201
00:54:46,301 --> 00:54:48,435
Everybody knows.

1202
00:54:49,836 --> 00:54:51,316
Wanna talk about what's haunting you,

1203
00:54:51,340 --> 00:54:54,022
or should we wait
for a third act flashback?

1204
00:54:54,046 --> 00:54:56,817
Ah... Go fuck yourself.

1205
00:54:59,545 --> 00:55:01,085
You know...

1206
00:55:01,613 --> 00:55:04,990
in my world, you're...

1207
00:55:05,518 --> 00:55:07,265
You're well regarded.

1208
00:55:07,289 --> 00:55:09,036
Yeah, well, not in mine.

1209
00:55:09,060 --> 00:55:11,435
They don't like me much in mine either.

1210
00:55:11,459 --> 00:55:12,369
You don't say.

1211
00:55:12,393 --> 00:55:15,439
I wanted to be something, you know. I...

1212
00:55:15,463 --> 00:55:17,342
Shit, I wanted to be an Avenger.

1213
00:55:17,366 --> 00:55:19,244
- Fuck the Avengers.
- Yeah.

1214
00:55:19,268 --> 00:55:22,876
I didn't make the cut, though.
Same with the X-Men...

1215
00:55:23,811 --> 00:55:24,891
When my girlfriend left me,

1216
00:55:24,915 --> 00:55:27,352
- and I just...
- You had a girlfriend?

1217
00:55:27,376 --> 00:55:28,573
Yeah.

1218
00:55:28,597 --> 00:55:29,793
Vanessa.

1219
00:55:29,817 --> 00:55:32,182
When we met, she was a dancer.

1220
00:55:32,677 --> 00:55:34,547
We had a whole life.

1221
00:55:35,251 --> 00:55:36,558
It was good.

1222
00:55:36,582 --> 00:55:39,618
But, oh, boy, I just... Mwah.

1223
00:55:39,992 --> 00:55:42,489
Fucked that right up.

1224
00:55:42,697 --> 00:55:43,697
But you,

1225
00:55:43,721 --> 00:55:44,632
you were an X-Man.

1226
00:55:44,656 --> 00:55:47,802
Fuck that. You were the X-Man. You...

1227
00:55:48,968 --> 00:55:50,871
The Wolverine.

1228
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:54,809
He was a hero in my world.

1229
00:55:56,008 --> 00:55:57,735
Yeah, well...

1230
00:55:58,208 --> 00:56:00,045
he ain't shit in mine.

1231
00:56:04,346 --> 00:56:08,086
You said, "Logan was a hero."
What happened?

1232
00:56:08,581 --> 00:56:09,989
He died.

1233
00:56:10,253 --> 00:56:10,691
How?

1234
00:56:10,715 --> 00:56:13,629
Well, technically,
you were chest-fucked by a tree, but,

1235
00:56:13,653 --> 00:56:15,532
really, you just ran out of batteries

1236
00:56:15,556 --> 00:56:17,688
- trying to save someone.
- Who?

1237
00:56:17,712 --> 00:56:19,844
The shit heels that grew her in a lab

1238
00:56:19,868 --> 00:56:22,166
called her "X-23." But...

1239
00:56:22,298 --> 00:56:23,374
she was just a kid.

1240
00:56:23,398 --> 00:56:27,544
A younger, daintier,
somehow meaner version of you.

1241
00:56:27,568 --> 00:56:29,513
You died trying to save her.

1242
00:56:29,537 --> 00:56:30,480
It was beautiful.

1243
00:56:30,504 --> 00:56:33,417
Look, mijo, I know you're hurtin'.

1244
00:56:33,441 --> 00:56:35,683
My blind, elderly,
African-American roommate,

1245
00:56:35,707 --> 00:56:39,193
Blind Al, always says that
pain teaches us who we are.

1246
00:56:39,217 --> 00:56:41,228
Sometimes we need to listen to that pain

1247
00:56:41,252 --> 00:56:42,129
instead of running from it.

1248
00:56:42,153 --> 00:56:43,493
- Holy shit.
- Yeah, she's wise.

1249
00:56:43,517 --> 00:56:46,761
No, no, no. That's her name?
You call her "Blind Al"?

1250
00:56:46,785 --> 00:56:48,489
Well, she's blind.

1251
00:56:58,697 --> 00:57:03,316
♪ I've never seen you looking
so lovely as you did tonight ♪

1252
00:57:03,340 --> 00:57:10,339
♪ I've never seen you shine
so bright, mm-hmm, hmm ♪

1253
00:57:10,577 --> 00:57:15,186
♪ The lady in red ♪

1254
00:57:16,517 --> 00:57:20,422
♪ Is dancing with me ♪

1255
00:57:20,719 --> 00:57:22,664
♪ Cheek to cheek ♪

1256
00:57:22,688 --> 00:57:25,569
♪ There's nobody here... ♪

1257
00:57:25,593 --> 00:57:26,734
Look at you!

1258
00:57:26,758 --> 00:57:27,504
She's coming with us.

1259
00:57:27,528 --> 00:57:29,639
- No, she's not. Fuck no!
- Oh, yes, she is.

1260
00:57:29,663 --> 00:57:30,804
- Oh, yes...
- Sorry!

1261
00:57:30,828 --> 00:57:33,885
Sorry about that!

1262
00:57:33,909 --> 00:57:36,415
Come here, girl!

1263
00:57:36,439 --> 00:57:37,580
Who are you?

1264
00:57:37,604 --> 00:57:38,581
Oh, I'm Deadpool.

1265
00:57:38,605 --> 00:57:40,220
And I guess you're Deadpool too.

1266
00:57:40,244 --> 00:57:42,437
But in here, everybody
calls me "Nicepool."

1267
00:57:42,461 --> 00:57:44,654
Oh, my goodness.
Wait till you see Ladypool.

1268
00:57:44,678 --> 00:57:45,423
She is gorgeous.

1269
00:57:45,447 --> 00:57:48,229
She just had a baby too. And...

1270
00:57:48,253 --> 00:57:48,822
Can't even tell.

1271
00:57:48,846 --> 00:57:50,693
I don't think you're supposed to say that.

1272
00:57:50,717 --> 00:57:51,935
That's okay.

1273
00:57:51,959 --> 00:57:53,905
I identify as a feminist.

1274
00:57:53,929 --> 00:57:55,556
Right.

1275
00:57:56,491 --> 00:57:57,501
Are those gold-plated,

1276
00:57:57,525 --> 00:58:00,274
...50 caliber Desert Eagle pistoleros?

1277
00:58:00,298 --> 00:58:01,043
'Course.

1278
00:58:01,067 --> 00:58:02,540
To match my ear huggie.

1279
00:58:02,564 --> 00:58:03,606
Can I have 'em?

1280
00:58:03,630 --> 00:58:05,642
Over my dead body.

1281
00:58:05,666 --> 00:58:06,411
You're fun.

1282
00:58:06,435 --> 00:58:09,580
And I guess you've
already met Mary Puppins.

1283
00:58:09,604 --> 00:58:10,811
AKA Dogpool.

1284
00:58:10,835 --> 00:58:12,155
Careful where you put your hands.

1285
00:58:12,179 --> 00:58:15,321
She's ninety percent g-spot,
and she'll let you know it.

1286
00:58:15,345 --> 00:58:18,721
You let this little flirt out
of your sight for one second

1287
00:58:18,745 --> 00:58:20,756
and she starts shopping for a new papa.

1288
00:58:20,780 --> 00:58:22,790
If you can't be a responsible pet owner,

1289
00:58:22,814 --> 00:58:25,827
then maybe you don't deserve
this little unicorn.

1290
00:58:25,851 --> 00:58:28,467
Guilty on all charges, Your Honor.

1291
00:58:28,491 --> 00:58:29,583
Shan't happen again.

1292
00:58:29,607 --> 00:58:30,699
Why are you so nice?

1293
00:58:30,723 --> 00:58:32,487
Oh, it costs nothing to be kind.

1294
00:58:32,511 --> 00:58:34,275
Shutting the fuck up is also free.

1295
00:58:34,299 --> 00:58:35,980
- Caliente.
- This is Logan.

1296
00:58:36,004 --> 00:58:36,705
He's usually shirtless,

1297
00:58:36,729 --> 00:58:39,732
but he's let himself go since the divorce.

1298
00:58:40,370 --> 00:58:42,636
Where's your mask?

1299
00:58:44,605 --> 00:58:45,605
Come on, guys.

1300
00:58:46,815 --> 00:58:47,815
Ugh, this guy.

1301
00:58:47,839 --> 00:58:49,620
We're looking for a group of survivors.

1302
00:58:49,644 --> 00:58:50,455
Oh, they're out there.

1303
00:58:50,479 --> 00:58:52,424
Yeah, but merc to merc, you better hope

1304
00:58:52,448 --> 00:58:54,394
that you don't run
into the Deadpool corps.

1305
00:58:54,418 --> 00:58:55,130
Yeah, they're crazy.

1306
00:58:55,154 --> 00:58:56,792
They will chop you up
into a thousand pieces

1307
00:58:56,816 --> 00:58:57,825
and hide you all over The Void.

1308
00:58:57,849 --> 00:58:59,861
If they could only process
their childhood trauma,

1309
00:58:59,885 --> 00:59:01,698
they'd go on one heck
of a healing journey.

1310
00:59:01,722 --> 00:59:03,535
Look, we're headed for the borderlands.

1311
00:59:03,559 --> 00:59:04,403
You know where it is?

1312
00:59:04,427 --> 00:59:06,691
Yeah, that... that's 12 klicks due west.

1313
00:59:06,715 --> 00:59:08,980
I can lend you my ride, if you like.

1314
00:59:09,004 --> 00:59:11,764
It would be my honor.

1315
00:59:14,206 --> 00:59:16,515
Oh, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not.

1316
00:59:16,539 --> 00:59:18,781
Uh-uh. What the... No! No!

1317
00:59:18,805 --> 00:59:19,815
Just get in the car.

1318
00:59:19,839 --> 00:59:20,848
This isn't a car.

1319
00:59:20,872 --> 00:59:23,169
This is a Honda fuckin' Odyssey.

1320
00:59:23,193 --> 00:59:25,491
Throttle response sucks a cock.

1321
00:59:25,515 --> 00:59:26,458
Dated infotainment system.

1322
00:59:26,482 --> 00:59:28,560
When Honda saw
that untreated chlamydia

1323
00:59:28,584 --> 00:59:29,329
was makin' a comeback,

1324
00:59:29,353 --> 00:59:32,531
they invented
the Honda Odyssey to compete.

1325
00:59:32,555 --> 00:59:35,335
Get in the fucking car.

1326
00:59:35,359 --> 00:59:37,602
She'll get you there safe and sound.

1327
00:59:37,626 --> 00:59:39,306
Old Betsy always does.

1328
00:59:39,330 --> 00:59:42,244
You're gonna have to
give me my dog back, though.

1329
00:59:42,268 --> 00:59:43,376
I know. Listen.

1330
00:59:43,400 --> 00:59:44,476
Yes, child.

1331
00:59:44,500 --> 00:59:47,216
If you ever wanna give her up,
or if she needs a new home,

1332
00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:49,614
or if something should happen to you,

1333
00:59:49,638 --> 00:59:50,350
I'd love to be her papa.

1334
00:59:50,374 --> 00:59:53,156
What would ever happen to me?

1335
00:59:53,180 --> 00:59:55,082
Lots of stuff.

1336
00:59:57,909 --> 00:59:59,172
- Jesus.
- No!

1337
00:59:59,196 --> 01:00:00,459
We're running away.

1338
01:00:00,483 --> 01:00:02,660
- Give me that.
- The corn was too dense, girl!

1339
01:00:02,684 --> 01:00:03,726
- There.
- Come here!

1340
01:00:03,750 --> 01:00:06,192
- Fuck!
- Hello!

1341
01:00:07,292 --> 01:00:08,292
Bye.

1342
01:00:11,923 --> 01:00:15,738
♪ It's a damn cold night ♪

1343
01:00:15,762 --> 01:00:19,627
♪ Trying to figure out this life ♪

1344
01:00:19,651 --> 01:00:23,516
♪ Won't you take me by the hand? ♪

1345
01:00:23,540 --> 01:00:25,550
♪ Take me somewhere new ♪

1346
01:00:25,574 --> 01:00:30,655
♪ I don't know who you are But I ♪

1347
01:00:30,679 --> 01:00:33,855
♪ I'm with you... ♪

1348
01:00:33,879 --> 01:00:35,825
Okay, I'm just gonna ask...

1349
01:00:35,849 --> 01:00:36,693
What's with the suit?

1350
01:00:36,717 --> 01:00:38,498
First thing I did when I flamed out,

1351
01:00:38,522 --> 01:00:39,642
- I took mine off.
- Drop it.

1352
01:00:39,666 --> 01:00:40,598
It's not that ugly.

1353
01:00:40,622 --> 01:00:42,862
- Stop talking about my suit.
- Did you make it yourself?

1354
01:00:42,886 --> 01:00:43,796
- Been there.
- Quit. Now.

1355
01:00:43,820 --> 01:00:46,869
The X-Men make you wear it?
Those sons of fuckin' bitches.

1356
01:00:46,893 --> 01:00:48,693
They are not your friends,
I'll tell you that.

1357
01:00:48,717 --> 01:00:51,214
Friends don't let friends
leave the house lookin' like

1358
01:00:51,238 --> 01:00:53,381
they fight crime
for the Los Angeles Rams.

1359
01:00:53,405 --> 01:00:54,315
Shut the fuck up about this, or...

1360
01:00:54,339 --> 01:00:56,681
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch
your frown lines, angel baby.

1361
01:00:56,705 --> 01:00:58,185
I'm just trying to bond a little bit.

1362
01:00:58,209 --> 01:01:00,190
Yeah, well, then talk
about somethin' else.

1363
01:01:00,214 --> 01:01:01,643
Fine.

1364
01:01:04,415 --> 01:01:06,691
Pshew. Pshew, pshew.

1365
01:01:06,715 --> 01:01:07,625
Pshew!

1366
01:01:07,649 --> 01:01:09,693
- Stop it.
- Pshew.

1367
01:01:09,717 --> 01:01:11,677
If they can fix your world,
what's the first thing

1368
01:01:11,701 --> 01:01:13,008
you're gonna do
when you get out of here?

1369
01:01:13,032 --> 01:01:14,435
Get some rubbing alcohol shots,

1370
01:01:14,459 --> 01:01:15,732
maybe a wiper fluid chaser?

1371
01:01:15,756 --> 01:01:17,702
- What did you say?
- I said when you get back,

1372
01:01:17,726 --> 01:01:19,341
what's the first thing you're gonna do?

1373
01:01:19,365 --> 01:01:21,597
No, no, no. Before that.

1374
01:01:21,762 --> 01:01:24,534
If... they can fix your world?

1375
01:01:27,768 --> 01:01:29,746
What do you mean, "if"?

1376
01:01:29,770 --> 01:01:30,714
- I mean...
- You lied to me.

1377
01:01:30,738 --> 01:01:31,682
You don't have a fucking clue

1378
01:01:31,706 --> 01:01:33,982
if they can help me fix things, do you?

1379
01:01:34,006 --> 01:01:35,422
No. I mean... Ow!

1380
01:01:35,446 --> 01:01:37,721
Fuck! Fuck! I didn't lie!

1381
01:01:37,745 --> 01:01:41,914
- You lied!
- No! I made an educated wish!

1382
01:01:42,948 --> 01:01:45,082
Because I need you.

1383
01:01:45,225 --> 01:01:48,699
This. This is why. Right here.

1384
01:01:48,723 --> 01:01:51,004
'Cause if we don't do
something, they die.

1385
01:01:51,028 --> 01:01:53,309
I don't know anything
about saving worlds.

1386
01:01:53,333 --> 01:01:54,373
And why would I even care?

1387
01:01:54,397 --> 01:01:58,446
Because my entire world
is right here in this picture.

1388
01:01:58,470 --> 01:01:59,842
It's only nine people,

1389
01:01:59,866 --> 01:02:03,120
and I have no idea how to save it alone.

1390
01:02:03,144 --> 01:02:05,816
I know how to fuck people up
for money. But you,

1391
01:02:05,840 --> 01:02:08,479
you know how to save 'em!

1392
01:02:08,611 --> 01:02:09,931
At least the other Wolverine did.

1393
01:02:10,778 --> 01:02:14,198
Fuck! I guess I'm stuck
with the worst one.

1394
01:02:14,222 --> 01:02:16,265
Did you say you made

1395
01:02:16,289 --> 01:02:19,301
an educated fucking wish?

1396
01:02:19,325 --> 01:02:21,518
They call me "The Merc with the Mouth."

1397
01:02:21,542 --> 01:02:24,128
They don't call me "Truthful Timmy",

1398
01:02:24,152 --> 01:02:26,761
"the Blowjob Queen of Saskatoon."

1399
01:02:29,896 --> 01:02:31,478
One more word.

1400
01:02:31,502 --> 01:02:35,539
Please give me one.

1401
01:02:37,310 --> 01:02:39,035
Gubernatorial.

1402
01:02:39,059 --> 01:02:40,808
Oh, fuck!

1403
01:02:41,248 --> 01:02:43,844
You know what? You're a fucking joke.

1404
01:02:44,409 --> 01:02:45,969
No wonder the Avengers didn't take you.

1405
01:02:45,993 --> 01:02:49,299
Or the X-Men. And they'll take
fucking anyone.

1406
01:02:49,323 --> 01:02:50,266
I mean, you are

1407
01:02:50,290 --> 01:02:54,865
a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron.

1408
01:02:54,889 --> 01:02:56,801
I have never met

1409
01:02:56,825 --> 01:02:57,504
a sadder,

1410
01:02:57,528 --> 01:03:00,607
more attention-starved,
jabbering little prick

1411
01:03:00,631 --> 01:03:01,442
in my entire life.

1412
01:03:01,466 --> 01:03:03,709
And that says a lot, 'cause I've been alive

1413
01:03:03,733 --> 01:03:06,778
for more than 200 fuckin' years,

1414
01:03:06,802 --> 01:03:07,613
and I'll tell ya,

1415
01:03:07,637 --> 01:03:09,682
that bald chick was right about one thing.

1416
01:03:09,706 --> 01:03:12,112
You will never save the world!

1417
01:03:12,136 --> 01:03:15,259
You couldn't even save a relationship

1418
01:03:15,283 --> 01:03:16,490
with a goddamn stripper!

1419
01:03:16,514 --> 01:03:19,609
And motherfucker, I wish
I could say you'd die alone,

1420
01:03:19,633 --> 01:03:22,728
but it's one of God's
best jokes that you can't die,

1421
01:03:22,752 --> 01:03:25,149
except that's on all of us!

1422
01:03:28,262 --> 01:03:30,990
Oh, you got nothing to say, Mouth?

1423
01:03:39,372 --> 01:03:41,704
I'm gonna fight you now.

1424
01:03:43,310 --> 01:03:45,609
Oh, are you?

1425
01:03:54,519 --> 01:03:57,125
Mm. Not talkin' now, are ya?

1426
01:03:57,149 --> 01:03:59,368
♪ And I'm losing control ♪

1427
01:03:59,392 --> 01:04:03,736
♪ 'Cause the power you're supplying ♪

1428
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:05,959
Oh, you dirty bitch.

1429
01:04:08,533 --> 01:04:11,205
♪ You better shape up ♪

1430
01:04:11,229 --> 01:04:13,373
♪ 'Cause I need a man ♪

1431
01:04:14,539 --> 01:04:17,750
♪ And my heart is set on you ♪

1432
01:04:17,774 --> 01:04:20,137
♪ You better shape up ♪

1433
01:04:20,161 --> 01:04:22,547
Whoo!

1434
01:04:23,207 --> 01:04:25,361
♪ To my heart, I must be true ♪

1435
01:04:25,385 --> 01:04:29,498
♪ Nothing left, nothing left for me to do ♪

1436
01:04:29,522 --> 01:04:32,270
♪ You're the one that I want ♪

1437
01:04:32,294 --> 01:04:34,486
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey ♪

1438
01:04:34,510 --> 01:04:36,161
♪ The one that I want ♪

1439
01:04:36,185 --> 01:04:37,835
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey ♪

1440
01:04:37,859 --> 01:04:39,894
No, no, no!

1441
01:04:40,829 --> 01:04:44,276
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

1442
01:04:44,300 --> 01:04:47,770
♪ The one I need Oh, yes, indeed... ♪

1443
01:04:58,242 --> 01:05:00,651
Baby Knife!

1444
01:05:02,554 --> 01:05:06,161
I take it all back.
The Honda Odyssey fucks hard.

1445
01:05:06,185 --> 01:05:07,535
Too bad you don't, needle dick.

1446
01:05:07,559 --> 01:05:09,593
Oh, we're just gettin' started, bub.

1447
01:05:11,630 --> 01:05:13,591
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey ♪

1448
01:05:13,615 --> 01:05:15,576
Oh, you... Fuck!

1449
01:05:15,600 --> 01:05:17,348
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

1450
01:05:17,372 --> 01:05:19,713
♪ The one I need ♪

1451
01:05:19,737 --> 01:05:22,484
♪ Oh, yes, indeed ♪

1452
01:05:22,508 --> 01:05:24,345
♪ You're the one that I want ♪

1453
01:06:07,817 --> 01:06:09,654
Thor!

1454
01:06:11,633 --> 01:06:12,633
Where are we?

1455
01:06:12,657 --> 01:06:15,725
No clue, but... I like it here.

1456
01:06:23,327 --> 01:06:25,703
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

1457
01:07:14,687 --> 01:07:15,861
Okay.

1458
01:07:15,885 --> 01:07:20,087
Look at you... all.
You must be the others.

1459
01:07:20,219 --> 01:07:20,965
Terrific.

1460
01:07:20,989 --> 01:07:23,050
So just to refresh, you are.

1461
01:07:23,074 --> 01:07:25,134
- Wonder...
- Elektra.

1462
01:07:25,158 --> 01:07:28,005
Elektra? Yes. Who could forget?

1463
01:07:28,029 --> 01:07:30,877
And you. I was not expecting
to see you here.

1464
01:07:30,901 --> 01:07:32,780
I thought you were, you know,

1465
01:07:32,804 --> 01:07:35,003
retired.

1466
01:07:35,201 --> 01:07:36,708
Retarded?

1467
01:07:37,279 --> 01:07:38,279
"Retired."

1468
01:07:38,303 --> 01:07:39,181
I'm already in The Void.

1469
01:07:39,205 --> 01:07:40,685
I'm not trying to get canceled again.

1470
01:07:40,709 --> 01:07:43,815
- I don't like you.
- You never did.

1471
01:07:43,847 --> 01:07:46,662
And who's this succulent reminder

1472
01:07:46,686 --> 01:07:48,389
of my own inadequacies?

1473
01:07:48,413 --> 01:07:49,257
Look at you.

1474
01:07:49,281 --> 01:07:52,162
You look like the
superhero version of Hawkeye.

1475
01:07:52,186 --> 01:07:55,704
The name's Remy LeBeau,
Le Diable Blanc.

1476
01:07:55,728 --> 01:07:56,968
But you can call me the Gambit.

1477
01:07:56,992 --> 01:07:59,400
It's been a while
since I've seen Sling Blade.

1478
01:07:59,424 --> 01:08:00,972
Hit me again.

1479
01:08:00,996 --> 01:08:01,775
They call me the Gambit.

1480
01:08:01,799 --> 01:08:03,239
Do they? Are you sure you didn't

1481
01:08:03,263 --> 01:08:05,043
just really, really want them to,

1482
01:08:05,067 --> 01:08:06,870
but it never quite worked out?

1483
01:08:08,399 --> 01:08:11,852
You know, we never had
a Wolverine up in here.

1484
01:08:11,876 --> 01:08:12,621
But I can tell you now,

1485
01:08:12,645 --> 01:08:14,436
it's just a common courtesy to ask

1486
01:08:14,460 --> 01:08:16,251
before you drink up all of my liquor.

1487
01:08:16,275 --> 01:08:18,849
Well, it's a good thing I don't give a fuck.

1488
01:08:22,556 --> 01:08:23,986
Fuck.

1489
01:08:25,218 --> 01:08:28,089
So embarrassing.

1490
01:08:28,231 --> 01:08:29,231
Boo, boo, boo.

1491
01:08:29,255 --> 01:08:30,695
Well, now that that's settled, look,

1492
01:08:30,719 --> 01:08:32,199
we came a long way to find you three.

1493
01:08:32,223 --> 01:08:33,808
- There's four of us.
- There's four...

1494
01:08:33,832 --> 01:08:35,435
Hey, wait. Is it Magneto?

1495
01:08:35,459 --> 01:08:37,746
Dear sweet God in heaven,
let it be Magneto,

1496
01:08:37,770 --> 01:08:39,090
- because with him...
- He's dead.

1497
01:08:39,114 --> 01:08:40,682
Fuck! Now Disney gets cheap?

1498
01:08:40,706 --> 01:08:42,734
It's like Pinocchio jammed
his face in my ass

1499
01:08:42,758 --> 01:08:45,074
- and started lying like crazy.
- Ooh, you nasty!

1500
01:08:45,098 --> 01:08:47,762
Mon pet it rouge. Laissez
les bons temps rouler, huh?

1501
01:08:47,786 --> 01:08:50,451
Not a single word.
What do you do exactly?

1502
01:08:50,475 --> 01:08:52,958
Charge the playing cards
and make 'em go boom!

1503
01:08:52,982 --> 01:08:55,599
Your power's
close-up magic. That's good.

1504
01:08:55,623 --> 01:08:57,535
We're not totally fucked at all.

1505
01:08:57,559 --> 01:08:59,201
So who brought us here?

1506
01:08:59,225 --> 01:09:00,891
That would be me.

1507
01:09:10,494 --> 01:09:12,430
Don't make me regret it.

1508
01:09:12,771 --> 01:09:16,554
Holy shit. Logan. That's her. That's X-23.

1509
01:09:16,578 --> 01:09:19,140
She's the one I told you about.

1510
01:09:22,407 --> 01:09:24,925
Hey, how did you all get stuck
in The Void?

1511
01:09:24,949 --> 01:09:26,795
There was a knock at the door.

1512
01:09:26,819 --> 01:09:28,159
- TVA sent me here.
- Me, too.

1513
01:09:28,183 --> 01:09:29,522
Well, maybe I was born here.

1514
01:09:29,546 --> 01:09:31,876
It's... It's hard to know for sure.

1515
01:09:31,900 --> 01:09:34,230
TVA decided our universe was dying.

1516
01:09:34,254 --> 01:09:37,598
And I never even got a chance
to fight for it.

1517
01:09:39,160 --> 01:09:41,436
People like us don't go quietly.

1518
01:09:41,460 --> 01:09:43,790
TVA knows that, so they took us out.

1519
01:09:43,814 --> 01:09:46,144
The answer is yes. I'm in.

1520
01:09:46,168 --> 01:09:47,914
- In what?
- A team.

1521
01:09:47,938 --> 01:09:49,729
Me, you, you, and me. All of us together.

1522
01:09:49,753 --> 01:09:51,621
Let's get the fuck out of this place.

1523
01:09:51,645 --> 01:09:53,514
Don't listen to him. He's a fucking liar!

1524
01:09:53,538 --> 01:09:55,483
It was an educated wish!

1525
01:09:55,507 --> 01:09:57,948
- Ha!
- Look.

1526
01:09:58,311 --> 01:10:00,223
We've been inside Cassandra's lair.

1527
01:10:00,247 --> 01:10:02,831
The only way out of The Void
is through her.

1528
01:10:02,855 --> 01:10:05,031
She can get us home. She told us.

1529
01:10:05,055 --> 01:10:07,230
Wait a minute, you've been inside?

1530
01:10:07,254 --> 01:10:08,869
- And you made it out alive?
- Bullshit.

1531
01:10:08,893 --> 01:10:11,603
- Nobody's ever done that.
- We did.

1532
01:10:11,627 --> 01:10:14,337
Every time one of us
has gone up against her,

1533
01:10:14,361 --> 01:10:14,908
they die.

1534
01:10:14,932 --> 01:10:17,615
The Punisher, the Quicksilver,
the Daredevil.

1535
01:10:17,639 --> 01:10:19,699
Daredevil? I'm so sorry.

1536
01:10:19,723 --> 01:10:21,807
- It's fine.
- Okay.

1537
01:10:22,599 --> 01:10:26,283
Even that sweet, baby angel,
Johnny Storm.

1538
01:10:26,307 --> 01:10:27,889
He up and gone missing like,

1539
01:10:27,913 --> 01:10:29,692
what, two days ago?

1540
01:10:29,716 --> 01:10:31,551
Ugh. That's so sad.

1541
01:10:31,575 --> 01:10:34,985
Wherever this Johnny fella is,
I'm sure he's thriving.

1542
01:10:35,722 --> 01:10:38,526
Look, there's...
there's strength in numbers.

1543
01:10:38,550 --> 01:10:39,196
All right? Us...

1544
01:10:39,220 --> 01:10:40,263
plus, you guys. We can put Cassandra

1545
01:10:40,287 --> 01:10:42,739
over our knee and force her
to let us out of The Void.

1546
01:10:42,763 --> 01:10:44,363
I know what it means to feel self-doubt.

1547
01:10:44,387 --> 01:10:45,907
- I don't feel that at all.
- I'm good.

1548
01:10:45,931 --> 01:10:48,140
Gnawing at your gut
like a coked-up tapeworm.

1549
01:10:48,164 --> 01:10:50,044
It's like you're holding up
a mirror to my soul.

1550
01:10:50,068 --> 01:10:51,682
You guys may not have been able

1551
01:10:51,706 --> 01:10:53,513
to save your universes.

1552
01:10:53,537 --> 01:10:55,344
But you can avenge them.

1553
01:10:55,368 --> 01:10:56,951
It's what Johnny would have wanted.

1554
01:10:56,975 --> 01:11:00,681
Wait. You knew Johnny?

1555
01:11:00,724 --> 01:11:01,724
Oh, yeah.

1556
01:11:01,748 --> 01:11:03,352
Dickhead here talked him into a team-up,

1557
01:11:03,376 --> 01:11:06,191
and Johnny came down with
a little case of the deads.

1558
01:11:06,215 --> 01:11:07,455
No, no, no. We don't know that.

1559
01:11:07,479 --> 01:11:10,007
It was just a flesh wound.
He may have survived.

1560
01:11:10,031 --> 01:11:12,593
If he survived that,
he is prayin' for death.

1561
01:11:12,617 --> 01:11:14,633
Thank you, Doctor Wolverine!

1562
01:11:14,657 --> 01:11:16,674
- Spill it!
- What'd you do to Johnny, huh?

1563
01:11:16,698 --> 01:11:17,978
Talk or I'm gonna start dealin'.

1564
01:11:18,002 --> 01:11:20,469
Okay. Okay. Hey, hey, hey.

1565
01:11:20,493 --> 01:11:21,040
Look.

1566
01:11:21,064 --> 01:11:23,439
He ran his fat-ass mouth
about Cassandra.

1567
01:11:23,463 --> 01:11:24,813
Then she zip-zapped his skin,

1568
01:11:24,837 --> 01:11:26,877
leaving his organs to splash
crudely onto the ground

1569
01:11:26,901 --> 01:11:30,413
while the soil greedily drank his blood.
It was horrible.

1570
01:11:30,437 --> 01:11:31,557
He was like a brother to me.

1571
01:11:31,581 --> 01:11:35,088
Look, he died before he could
make a difference. But...

1572
01:11:35,112 --> 01:11:36,551
Look, maybe you couldn't

1573
01:11:36,575 --> 01:11:37,694
save your worlds, but...

1574
01:11:37,718 --> 01:11:40,290
but Jesus Christ, you can save mine!

1575
01:11:40,314 --> 01:11:42,556
I don't give a shit about your world, but

1576
01:11:42,580 --> 01:11:45,868
if these two made it out of
there alive, maybe together,

1577
01:11:45,892 --> 01:11:47,561
we can get back in and take her down.

1578
01:11:47,585 --> 01:11:50,234
Where I come from,
we call that suicide, Chere.

1579
01:11:50,258 --> 01:11:52,908
If we can block her psychic powers,

1580
01:11:52,932 --> 01:11:54,976
we can get a leg up. I know it.

1581
01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:56,713
Now, I know Magneto's dead.

1582
01:11:56,737 --> 01:11:59,111
But I'd venture to guess
that his helmet is lying

1583
01:11:59,135 --> 01:12:01,411
- around here somewhere...
- Cassandra melted the helmet.

1584
01:12:01,435 --> 01:12:02,720
- Fuck!
- After she killed him.

1585
01:12:02,744 --> 01:12:04,436
- Fuck!
- She don't play.

1586
01:12:04,460 --> 01:12:06,025
She knows that helmet was the only way

1587
01:12:06,049 --> 01:12:07,614
to protect anyone from her powers.

1588
01:12:07,638 --> 01:12:09,958
The only other helmet that
strong is Juggernaut's,

1589
01:12:09,982 --> 01:12:10,826
but he works for Cassandra.

1590
01:12:10,850 --> 01:12:12,190
Juggernaut's helmet. That's it.

1591
01:12:12,214 --> 01:12:14,334
Yeah, and we done be knowing
that lid ain't comin' off

1592
01:12:14,358 --> 01:12:15,958
without that dome gonna come off wit'it.

1593
01:12:15,982 --> 01:12:17,229
I'm so sorry, beautiful.

1594
01:12:17,253 --> 01:12:18,064
I want this to be gentle.

1595
01:12:18,088 --> 01:12:19,934
Who is your dialect coach?
The Minions?

1596
01:12:19,958 --> 01:12:24,467
I feel like we are missing
critical exposition here.

1597
01:12:24,491 --> 01:12:27,723
I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of hiding.

1598
01:12:27,747 --> 01:12:30,979
Let's face it, our worlds forgot about us.

1599
01:12:31,003 --> 01:12:32,915
Or never learned about us.

1600
01:12:32,939 --> 01:12:34,334
The heroes we were.

1601
01:12:34,358 --> 01:12:35,626
Lives we saved.

1602
01:12:35,650 --> 01:12:36,918
Or wanted to save.

1603
01:12:36,942 --> 01:12:39,340
Maybe these two are our chance.

1604
01:12:40,539 --> 01:12:42,253
To be remembered.

1605
01:12:42,277 --> 01:12:44,015
The way we deserve.

1606
01:12:44,609 --> 01:12:45,719
Yes.

1607
01:12:45,743 --> 01:12:47,324
An ending.

1608
01:12:47,348 --> 01:12:48,623
- Legacy.
- Yes!

1609
01:12:48,647 --> 01:12:49,832
Yes! Let this man cook.

1610
01:12:49,856 --> 01:12:51,680
This is what I'm talking about.

1611
01:12:51,704 --> 01:12:53,529
Big slow-motion fights, sad music.

1612
01:12:53,553 --> 01:12:54,397
Everybody working together.

1613
01:12:54,421 --> 01:12:56,433
Who knows if you live or die?
That sorta thing.

1614
01:12:56,457 --> 01:12:58,875
- Who's ready?
- I was born ready.

1615
01:12:58,899 --> 01:12:59,925
Yes! Gambit?

1616
01:12:59,949 --> 01:13:00,975
I ain't know my daddy,

1617
01:13:00,999 --> 01:13:02,741
but I'm sure I shot out of his dick ready.

1618
01:13:02,765 --> 01:13:04,506
Jesus Christ, that is graphic.

1619
01:13:04,530 --> 01:13:06,690
Yeah. He was layin' them
buttery nuts all up in my mama

1620
01:13:06,714 --> 01:13:08,768
and I shot out there
and I said, "What's up, Doc?"

1621
01:13:08,792 --> 01:13:11,481
Johnny must have loved you.

1622
01:13:11,505 --> 01:13:13,923
X-23, what's it gonna be?

1623
01:13:13,947 --> 01:13:14,615
The name's Laura.

1624
01:13:14,639 --> 01:13:17,828
- Let's fucking go.
- Let's fucking go!

1625
01:13:17,852 --> 01:13:19,052
It's on like chicken and corn.

1626
01:13:19,076 --> 01:13:20,798
- Yeah!
- We're doing this.

1627
01:13:20,822 --> 01:13:21,556
You're all fuckin' dead.

1628
01:13:21,580 --> 01:13:24,924
My God! Read the room.

1629
01:13:34,362 --> 01:13:38,905
Hey, hey. I'm not lookin'
for company. Get out of here.

1630
01:13:40,368 --> 01:13:41,796
You remind me of him.

1631
01:13:41,820 --> 01:13:43,248
Angry. Drunk. Mean...

1632
01:13:43,272 --> 01:13:46,605
- Sounds like a great guy...
- Wasn't finished.

1633
01:13:47,408 --> 01:13:50,015
Showed up when it mattered the most.

1634
01:13:51,610 --> 01:13:53,920
Couldn't help it.

1635
01:13:56,417 --> 01:13:58,584
You might not know it, but...

1636
01:13:58,716 --> 01:14:00,454
you're a good man, Logan.

1637
01:14:01,928 --> 01:14:03,973
You might not know it, but apparently,

1638
01:14:03,997 --> 01:14:06,064
I'm the worst Logan.

1639
01:14:06,900 --> 01:14:09,793
I got to have a life because of you.

1640
01:14:11,762 --> 01:14:14,435
I got to grow up because of you.

1641
01:14:15,799 --> 01:14:16,853
A lot of kids did.

1642
01:14:16,877 --> 01:14:20,144
A lot of kids didn't grow up
because of me.

1643
01:14:21,541 --> 01:14:23,950
Trust me, kid, I'm no hero.

1644
01:14:24,511 --> 01:14:26,456
That suit says different.

1645
01:14:26,480 --> 01:14:29,516
- Yeah. Do you like it?
- Mm.

1646
01:14:30,385 --> 01:14:33,091
Scott used to beg me to wear it.

1647
01:14:34,587 --> 01:14:37,964
So did Jean, Storm, Beast.

1648
01:14:39,493 --> 01:14:40,701
All of them.

1649
01:14:40,725 --> 01:14:44,925
They wanted me to be part
of the team, but I wouldn't.

1650
01:14:44,949 --> 01:14:49,173
Told 'em they all look
fucking ridiculous. I mean...

1651
01:14:49,701 --> 01:14:53,738
I couldn't have 'em thinkin'
I wanted to be there.

1652
01:14:58,215 --> 01:15:00,821
And then one day,
while I was off on my own,

1653
01:15:00,845 --> 01:15:02,624
the humans came...

1654
01:15:02,648 --> 01:15:04,749
and went mutant hunting.

1655
01:15:05,321 --> 01:15:06,848
I can guess the rest.

1656
01:15:06,872 --> 01:15:08,423
No, no, let me...

1657
01:15:08,995 --> 01:15:10,854
Let me say it. I...

1658
01:15:12,823 --> 01:15:14,660
I need to say it.

1659
01:15:15,859 --> 01:15:19,279
By the time I stumbled home
shitfaced from the bar,

1660
01:15:19,303 --> 01:15:21,139
it was too late.

1661
01:15:23,900 --> 01:15:26,606
They were dead. Every...

1662
01:15:31,347 --> 01:15:35,846
This suit's all I got to
remind me of who they were.

1663
01:15:37,320 --> 01:15:38,882
And what I did.

1664
01:15:50,762 --> 01:15:53,666
We're headed to Cassandra's at sunup.

1665
01:15:53,798 --> 01:15:56,504
Have fun. Not my fight.

1666
01:15:58,638 --> 01:16:01,443
We won't pull this off without you.

1667
01:16:06,910 --> 01:16:11,717
Hey. Whoever you think I am,
you got the wrong guy.

1668
01:16:13,653 --> 01:16:16,161
You were always the wrong guy.

1669
01:16:40,921 --> 01:16:41,921
What?

1670
01:16:41,945 --> 01:16:43,758
Alioth didn't get them.

1671
01:16:43,782 --> 01:16:47,202
Cassandra wanted to
play with them herself first.

1672
01:16:47,226 --> 01:16:47,828
They got away.

1673
01:16:47,852 --> 01:16:49,600
- Did they find the others?
- No.

1674
01:16:49,624 --> 01:16:50,633
Good. All right. Phew.

1675
01:16:50,657 --> 01:16:52,553
- The others found them.
- Oh, very cute.

1676
01:16:52,577 --> 01:16:54,473
Well done, Pyro. Classic bait and switch.

1677
01:16:54,497 --> 01:16:57,145
- You really got me there.
- Relax.

1678
01:16:57,169 --> 01:16:59,610
If they come after Nova, she'll handle it.

1679
01:16:59,634 --> 01:17:01,413
Cassandra is a lunatic wild card.

1680
01:17:01,437 --> 01:17:03,680
Why do you think we put her
there in the first place?

1681
01:17:03,704 --> 01:17:06,452
Thank God she's never chosen
to leave The Void.

1682
01:17:06,476 --> 01:17:09,224
The Time Ripper is hours away
from completion.

1683
01:17:09,248 --> 01:17:10,588
I cannot take any chances.

1684
01:17:10,612 --> 01:17:11,721
Well, maybe not.

1685
01:17:11,745 --> 01:17:12,771
But I can.

1686
01:17:12,795 --> 01:17:13,821
For a price.

1687
01:17:13,845 --> 01:17:15,725
Why do you have to
say it in that silly voice?

1688
01:17:15,749 --> 01:17:16,362
It's so icky.

1689
01:17:16,386 --> 01:17:18,860
- You want it done or not?
- All right. Your price.

1690
01:17:18,884 --> 01:17:20,631
Take her out.

1691
01:17:20,655 --> 01:17:22,424
Ugh. Mutants.

1692
01:17:23,790 --> 01:17:26,504
♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪

1693
01:17:26,528 --> 01:17:28,648
♪ It's hard to yell when
the bar-rel's in your mouth ♪

1694
01:17:28,672 --> 01:17:30,943
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ Swizzy! ♪

1695
01:17:30,967 --> 01:17:33,577
♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪

1696
01:17:33,601 --> 01:17:35,414
♪ T-I-P, coming live from the V.I.P. ♪

1697
01:17:35,438 --> 01:17:37,614
♪ Heard the nightlife
lost life without me ♪

1698
01:17:37,638 --> 01:17:41,151
♪ Both the feds and the state
wanna see 'bout me ♪

1699
01:17:41,175 --> 01:17:44,688
♪ The whole city got biz-zerk,
he got three... ♪

1700
01:17:44,712 --> 01:17:45,424
Ooh! Look at that there!

1701
01:17:45,448 --> 01:17:46,968
You see them big gum hands
come closed.

1702
01:17:46,992 --> 01:17:48,672
Ain't not a wonna gettin' up inside there.

1703
01:17:48,696 --> 01:17:50,380
I think what Gambit's trying to say is

1704
01:17:50,404 --> 01:17:52,597
getting Juggernaut's helmet
ain't gonna be easy.

1705
01:17:52,621 --> 01:17:54,021
I'm just making stuff up at this...

1706
01:17:54,045 --> 01:17:55,401
- Yeah. Tilt up to Blade.
- Gun!

1707
01:17:55,425 --> 01:17:58,019
♪ Mississippi to Philly,
Albuquerque to Chatt-Town ♪

1708
01:17:58,043 --> 01:18:00,638
♪ If I hit you in the face,
you gon' be suing and shit ♪

1709
01:18:00,662 --> 01:18:02,904
Where'd he get that little beauty?

1710
01:18:02,928 --> 01:18:04,410
That's Punisher's AT4.

1711
01:18:04,434 --> 01:18:07,348
Which Punisher? There's been,
like, five of them.

1712
01:18:07,372 --> 01:18:08,678
There's only been one Blade,

1713
01:18:08,702 --> 01:18:10,302
and there's only ever
gonna be one Blade.

1714
01:18:10,326 --> 01:18:12,480
♪ Who got a flow and a live
show better than mine? ♪

1715
01:18:12,504 --> 01:18:15,488
♪ I got a packed house yellin' ♪

1716
01:18:15,512 --> 01:18:16,989
Incoming!

1717
01:18:17,013 --> 01:18:18,490
Ahhh!

1718
01:18:18,514 --> 01:18:19,860
♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪

1719
01:18:19,884 --> 01:18:21,324
♪ Ayy, from the back, they yell in ♪

1720
01:18:21,348 --> 01:18:22,642
♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪

1721
01:18:22,666 --> 01:18:24,037
♪ Ayy, all the dope boys yellin' ♪

1722
01:18:24,061 --> 01:18:25,400
♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪

1723
01:18:25,424 --> 01:18:27,138
♪ Ayy, from the back, they yell in ♪

1724
01:18:34,365 --> 01:18:35,942
♪ Mic check, one-two, one-two ♪

1725
01:18:35,966 --> 01:18:37,543
♪ You wanna beef with the King? ♪

1726
01:18:37,567 --> 01:18:38,609
♪ What is you gon' do? ♪

1727
01:18:38,633 --> 01:18:41,013
♪ Will you show up on the
scene with two guns drew? ♪

1728
01:18:41,037 --> 01:18:43,417
♪ Or you and your friend and
play a little two-on-two? ♪

1729
01:18:43,441 --> 01:18:44,885
♪ If you knew half of what I knew ♪

1730
01:18:44,909 --> 01:18:46,354
♪ Then you'd be hitting the deck ♪

1731
01:18:46,378 --> 01:18:47,553
♪ I got a tool and a vest ♪

1732
01:18:47,577 --> 01:18:48,751
♪ I can get some respect ♪

1733
01:18:48,775 --> 01:18:50,935
♪ Yeah, what other Southern
rapper hood-er than this? ♪

1734
01:18:50,959 --> 01:18:52,959
♪ I got rich, and I'm still
on some hooligan shit ♪

1735
01:18:52,983 --> 01:18:54,560
♪ Standing in your front yard yellin' ♪

1736
01:18:54,584 --> 01:18:55,946
♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪

1737
01:18:55,970 --> 01:18:57,321
♪ Ayy, all my hot girls yellin' ♪

1738
01:18:57,345 --> 01:18:58,745
♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪

1739
01:18:58,769 --> 01:19:00,304
♪ Ayy, all the dope boys yellin' ♪

1740
01:19:00,328 --> 01:19:01,887
♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪

1741
01:19:07,431 --> 01:19:11,103
♪ Hands in the air now! ♪

1742
01:19:11,127 --> 01:19:14,184
♪ Hands-hands in the-
in the air-air now! ♪

1743
01:19:14,208 --> 01:19:15,184
♪ I can't hear you! ♪

1744
01:19:15,208 --> 01:19:20,213
♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪

1745
01:19:22,908 --> 01:19:24,721
Ooh, this is gonna be good.

1746
01:19:24,745 --> 01:19:27,158
You know how long
I've been waiting for this?

1747
01:19:27,182 --> 01:19:29,262
Whoo! I'm about to make
a name for myself here.

1748
01:19:29,286 --> 01:19:31,365
I don't think you guys
walk away from this.

1749
01:19:31,389 --> 01:19:33,681
You just make sure people know
what happened here today.

1750
01:19:33,705 --> 01:19:36,065
And when you get out of here,
you have a drink for me, yeah?

1751
01:19:36,089 --> 01:19:38,686
You just stay on our six and get inside.

1752
01:19:38,710 --> 01:19:41,376
We'll make sure you get the package.

1753
01:19:41,400 --> 01:19:43,665
And we'll get our ending.

1754
01:20:53,196 --> 01:20:54,196
And boom!

1755
01:21:24,502 --> 01:21:27,802
Heh. Some motherfuckers still
trying to ice skate uphill.

1756
01:21:34,413 --> 01:21:36,821
You two escaping, I could live with.

1757
01:21:36,845 --> 01:21:40,584
But coming back? Willingly?

1758
01:21:41,453 --> 01:21:42,826
Boys are so silly.

1759
01:21:42,850 --> 01:21:43,860
I just need to get home.

1760
01:21:43,884 --> 01:21:46,335
Well, that's not on the menu, I'm afraid.

1761
01:21:46,359 --> 01:21:50,263
It's death or enslavement.
A la carte, of course.

1762
01:21:50,287 --> 01:21:52,695
Upsy-daisy.

1763
01:21:56,940 --> 01:21:57,940
Finally,

1764
01:21:57,964 --> 01:22:00,416
it's nice to give someone else
a chance to talk.

1765
01:22:00,440 --> 01:22:02,589
Not my strong suit.

1766
01:22:19,854 --> 01:22:22,021
You shouldn't have done that.

1767
01:22:41,205 --> 01:22:43,042
Adios, pendejo.

1768
01:22:44,340 --> 01:22:47,187
You are an interesting one, aren't you?

1769
01:22:47,211 --> 01:22:50,984
I do feel like you get lost
behind all of his...

1770
01:22:53,492 --> 01:22:57,529
Deadpools are a dime a dozen
here in The Void.

1771
01:22:57,793 --> 01:22:59,507
But you...

1772
01:22:59,531 --> 01:23:03,194
What's going on in here?

1773
01:23:11,841 --> 01:23:14,106
Logan!

1774
01:23:15,844 --> 01:23:17,912
Interesting...

1775
01:23:18,209 --> 01:23:20,948
Not what I expected back here.

1776
01:23:21,421 --> 01:23:23,423
Behind the anger.

1777
01:23:26,690 --> 01:23:27,766
You're hiding.

1778
01:23:27,790 --> 01:23:29,537
From them.

1779
01:23:29,561 --> 01:23:32,498
From all the ones you let down.

1780
01:23:34,467 --> 01:23:36,194
So much pain.

1781
01:23:38,295 --> 01:23:40,240
I walked away.

1782
01:23:40,264 --> 01:23:42,276
They called after me and I...

1783
01:23:42,300 --> 01:23:44,004
I walked away.

1784
01:23:44,344 --> 01:23:45,344
I always do.

1785
01:23:45,368 --> 01:23:47,480
- Logan!
- I know.

1786
01:23:48,877 --> 01:23:51,044
That's not all you did.

1787
01:23:51,374 --> 01:23:52,374
Is it?

1788
01:23:55,554 --> 01:23:57,589
You found them.

1789
01:23:57,886 --> 01:23:59,591
The X-Men.

1790
01:24:04,498 --> 01:24:05,498
Dead.

1791
01:24:07,996 --> 01:24:09,898
Piled like wood.

1792
01:24:10,602 --> 01:24:12,868
What did you do?

1793
01:24:14,738 --> 01:24:16,210
I started killing.

1794
01:24:16,234 --> 01:24:19,941
And I couldn't stop. I didn't wanna stop.

1795
01:24:20,271 --> 01:24:23,549
All those bad men.

1796
01:24:26,849 --> 01:24:29,522
It's not just the bad ones.

1797
01:24:30,413 --> 01:24:32,184
My little animal.

1798
01:24:33,658 --> 01:24:37,771
And I turned the whole world
against the X-Men.

1799
01:24:37,795 --> 01:24:39,422
Blade!

1800
01:24:44,361 --> 01:24:46,066
Just once...

1801
01:24:46,605 --> 01:24:50,675
I wanna be the man
that Charles thought I was.

1802
01:24:51,434 --> 01:24:52,908
Logan...

1803
01:24:53,370 --> 01:24:58,111
in The Void, you can be what you are.

1804
01:24:59,750 --> 01:25:02,009
I just wanna be free.

1805
01:25:02,033 --> 01:25:04,315
I can set you free.

1806
01:25:14,732 --> 01:25:20,540
I can silence all those voices.

1807
01:25:27,305 --> 01:25:28,878
I've got you.

1808
01:25:30,814 --> 01:25:32,585
I've got you.

1809
01:25:32,750 --> 01:25:34,147
No.

1810
01:25:34,917 --> 01:25:36,655
I got you.

1811
01:25:43,596 --> 01:25:45,739
Get it off!

1812
01:25:45,763 --> 01:25:47,307
You're gonna send us home,

1813
01:25:47,331 --> 01:25:48,971
or I'm gonna twist your fucking head off.

1814
01:25:48,995 --> 01:25:51,339
Why are you laughing?

1815
01:25:51,363 --> 01:25:52,240
I can't send you home

1816
01:25:52,264 --> 01:25:55,552
unless you get this thing off my head.

1817
01:25:55,576 --> 01:25:56,409
And as soon as you do that,

1818
01:25:56,433 --> 01:25:59,396
I'm going to boil your brains
on an atomic level

1819
01:25:59,420 --> 01:26:02,383
whilst flicking my bean
to the Enya box set.

1820
01:26:02,407 --> 01:26:03,923
There's an Enya box set?

1821
01:26:03,947 --> 01:26:05,655
Either you kill me

1822
01:26:05,679 --> 01:26:07,411
or I kill you.

1823
01:26:07,620 --> 01:26:09,290
Both wonderful options.

1824
01:26:09,314 --> 01:26:10,996
You want me to do it?

1825
01:26:11,020 --> 01:26:11,600
No, I'll do it.

1826
01:26:11,624 --> 01:26:12,832
I have her neck right here.

1827
01:26:12,856 --> 01:26:14,703
- It's really no problem.
- You'll screw it up.

1828
01:26:14,727 --> 01:26:16,606
Oh, come on, Mr. PG-13,

1829
01:26:16,630 --> 01:26:17,463
except the last one!

1830
01:26:17,487 --> 01:26:20,490
What the fuck?

1831
01:26:20,600 --> 01:26:23,437
You have no idea

1832
01:26:23,461 --> 01:26:24,173
what it's like!

1833
01:26:24,197 --> 01:26:27,507
Day after day. Shovel the shit.

1834
01:26:27,531 --> 01:26:28,914
Fetch the meats.

1835
01:26:28,938 --> 01:26:32,744
I have spent my entire exis...

1836
01:26:33,712 --> 01:26:35,151
Not everyone gets a speech.

1837
01:26:35,175 --> 01:26:37,659
She's gonna die.

1838
01:26:37,683 --> 01:26:39,596
Okay. Hey, hey. If I take this helmet off,

1839
01:26:39,620 --> 01:26:41,180
do you promise you won't kill us?

1840
01:26:41,204 --> 01:26:42,764
- Fuck!
- I promise...

1841
01:26:42,788 --> 01:26:44,193
I will kill you first thing.

1842
01:26:44,217 --> 01:26:46,603
Oh! Why are you like this?

1843
01:26:46,627 --> 01:26:47,493
I wish I knew.

1844
01:26:47,517 --> 01:26:48,681
- Take it off.
- What?

1845
01:26:48,705 --> 01:26:49,869
- Take it off.
- Why?

1846
01:26:49,893 --> 01:26:51,653
- Just take it off.
- This is our only chance

1847
01:26:51,677 --> 01:26:54,811
- to fix our shit!
- Take it off!

1848
01:26:55,668 --> 01:26:57,338
I am wearing this suit.

1849
01:26:57,362 --> 01:27:01,003
And that means a lot of things,
but most of all...

1850
01:27:01,707 --> 01:27:03,709
it means I'm an X-Man.

1851
01:27:03,940 --> 01:27:06,107
And I know your brother.

1852
01:27:07,233 --> 01:27:08,753
As much as I want to fucking kill you,

1853
01:27:08,777 --> 01:27:12,172
every bone in my body
wants to fucking kill you,

1854
01:27:12,196 --> 01:27:15,853
he would not let me stand here
and watch you die!

1855
01:27:17,547 --> 01:27:19,582
Take your hands off.

1856
01:27:20,583 --> 01:27:22,519
This is for him.

1857
01:27:23,586 --> 01:27:25,665
This is for Charles.

1858
01:27:34,300 --> 01:27:36,180
Hey, no, no, no!

1859
01:27:36,204 --> 01:27:38,810
Don't you dare do me like Johnny!

1860
01:27:44,409 --> 01:27:46,180
My brother loved you.

1861
01:27:47,412 --> 01:27:49,150
He loved all of us.

1862
01:27:49,447 --> 01:27:50,855
Hmm.

1863
01:27:51,647 --> 01:27:53,484
Must be nice.

1864
01:27:53,583 --> 01:27:55,827
He would've loved you, too.

1865
01:27:57,862 --> 01:27:59,864
If he knew about you...

1866
01:28:00,733 --> 01:28:01,776
if he knew where you were,

1867
01:28:01,800 --> 01:28:04,571
he would've torn a hole
in the fucking universe

1868
01:28:04,595 --> 01:28:06,464
to bring you home.

1869
01:28:09,599 --> 01:28:11,181
This is my home.

1870
01:28:11,205 --> 01:28:14,637
Well, then at least let us save his.

1871
01:28:17,717 --> 01:28:20,181
You want to hear something crazy?

1872
01:28:20,610 --> 01:28:25,054
An amateur magician rolled
through here a while back.

1873
01:28:25,318 --> 01:28:26,867
I killed him, of course.

1874
01:28:26,891 --> 01:28:30,521
Wore his skin around for four days.

1875
01:28:30,707 --> 01:28:31,707
But

1876
01:28:31,731 --> 01:28:33,506
I found this

1877
01:28:33,530 --> 01:28:35,304
little trinket

1878
01:28:35,328 --> 01:28:37,438
on his lovely fingers.

1879
01:28:37,462 --> 01:28:39,596
Strange!

1880
01:28:41,235 --> 01:28:44,754
- Marvel sparkle circle.
- What is that?

1881
01:28:44,778 --> 01:28:46,513
This is your way home.

1882
01:28:46,537 --> 01:28:48,383
I do owe you for saving my life.

1883
01:28:48,407 --> 01:28:50,369
But let's keep things interesting.

1884
01:28:50,393 --> 01:28:52,355
I'd say you have about four seconds

1885
01:28:52,379 --> 01:28:54,677
before you're Alioth's food.

1886
01:28:57,922 --> 01:29:00,023
Race ya.

1887
01:29:04,391 --> 01:29:07,974
♪ I'll be seeing you ♪

1888
01:29:07,998 --> 01:29:13,529
♪ In all the old familiar places ♪

1889
01:29:13,553 --> 01:29:19,085
♪ That this heart of mine embraces ♪

1890
01:29:19,109 --> 01:29:21,946
♪ All day through ♪

1891
01:29:24,410 --> 01:29:29,019
♪ In that small cafe ♪

1892
01:29:29,184 --> 01:29:33,826
♪ The park across the way ♪

1893
01:29:34,651 --> 01:29:39,038
♪ The children's carousel ♪

1894
01:29:39,062 --> 01:29:45,431
♪ The chestnut trees, the wishing well ♪

1895
01:29:46,333 --> 01:29:49,917
♪ I'll be seeing you ♪

1896
01:29:49,941 --> 01:29:54,341
♪ In every lovely summer's day ♪

1897
01:29:54,913 --> 01:29:59,719
♪ I'll find you in the morning sun ♪

1898
01:29:59,743 --> 01:30:05,055
♪ And when the night is new ♪

1899
01:30:06,518 --> 01:30:13,096
♪ I'll be looking at the moon ♪

1900
01:30:13,558 --> 01:30:19,630
♪ But I'll be seeing you ♪

1901
01:30:22,105 --> 01:30:24,777
And as I said,
we've got a standard three-year

1902
01:30:24,801 --> 01:30:26,184
bumper to bumper warranty.

1903
01:30:26,208 --> 01:30:27,746
Glad you gave us a second chance.

1904
01:30:27,770 --> 01:30:29,902
And don't worry. Wade and I are a team,

1905
01:30:29,926 --> 01:30:32,082
so I'll see he gets half the commission...

1906
01:30:32,895 --> 01:30:33,895
Whoa.

1907
01:30:33,919 --> 01:30:35,897
That feels like a Kia.

1908
01:30:35,921 --> 01:30:39,859
It's a fucking Kia Carnival, isn't it?

1909
01:30:40,222 --> 01:30:43,301
Holy shit. That's Deadpool.

1910
01:30:43,325 --> 01:30:44,136
And that's Wolverine.

1911
01:30:44,160 --> 01:30:45,798
You're damn straight it is.

1912
01:30:45,822 --> 01:30:46,732
Fox killed him.

1913
01:30:46,756 --> 01:30:47,469
Disney brought him back.

1914
01:30:47,493 --> 01:30:50,166
They're going to make him
do this till he's 90.

1915
01:30:50,298 --> 01:30:51,572
Let's go.

1916
01:30:51,596 --> 01:30:53,278
I'll clock you out!

1917
01:30:53,302 --> 01:30:55,138
Forever!

1918
01:30:55,501 --> 01:30:57,008
Forever.

1919
01:31:03,354 --> 01:31:04,354
Wakey-wakey.

1920
01:31:04,378 --> 01:31:07,051
God?

1921
01:31:07,150 --> 01:31:10,823
Now, you put all these bullets in my belly,

1922
01:31:10,847 --> 01:31:13,463
and I'm gonna find out why.

1923
01:31:13,487 --> 01:31:15,092
Whoa, whoa!

1924
01:31:15,191 --> 01:31:16,531
I'll just say it.

1925
01:31:16,555 --> 01:31:18,765
You don't have to stick
your fingers in me.

1926
01:31:18,789 --> 01:31:21,911
Jesus, just ask sometimes.

1927
01:31:21,935 --> 01:31:23,595
Fine.

1928
01:31:24,365 --> 01:31:25,639
Really?

1929
01:31:25,663 --> 01:31:27,081
Hands in pockets.

1930
01:31:28,611 --> 01:31:30,116
Guy named Paradox.

1931
01:31:30,140 --> 01:31:32,184
He said he'd get me out of The Void.

1932
01:31:32,208 --> 01:31:34,253
All I know is he works for the TVA.

1933
01:31:34,277 --> 01:31:34,923
The TVA.

1934
01:31:34,947 --> 01:31:36,221
We had an agreement.

1935
01:31:36,245 --> 01:31:38,422
I don't think this guy cares.

1936
01:31:38,446 --> 01:31:39,923
Huh. He will.

1937
01:31:39,947 --> 01:31:41,424
Hey, people!

1938
01:31:41,448 --> 01:31:43,823
How much longer before
the Time Ripper is active?

1939
01:31:43,847 --> 01:31:45,367
We're running the final safety checks.

1940
01:31:45,391 --> 01:31:48,399
Oh, okay. All right.
Thanks for all your hard work, Ralph.

1941
01:31:48,423 --> 01:31:49,939
- Take your time.
- Really?

1942
01:31:49,963 --> 01:31:51,204
No, you drooling boob!

1943
01:31:51,228 --> 01:31:52,468
No! We have company.

1944
01:31:52,492 --> 01:31:56,407
Cancel the safety checks.
We need to be live now!

1945
01:31:56,431 --> 01:31:58,729
Oh, I hate you so much.

1946
01:31:59,872 --> 01:32:00,872
No! Stop!

1947
01:32:00,896 --> 01:32:02,346
Piss off! You're too late.

1948
01:32:02,370 --> 01:32:04,646
- You're fuckin' done.
- Why was Thor crying?

1949
01:32:04,670 --> 01:32:05,547
How dare you!

1950
01:32:05,571 --> 01:32:08,254
No one comes back from The Void.

1951
01:32:08,278 --> 01:32:10,642
Tell that to Cassandra Nova.

1952
01:32:18,518 --> 01:32:21,455
Paradox. We have a problem.

1953
01:32:23,556 --> 01:32:25,591
Paradox.

1954
01:32:26,394 --> 01:32:29,638
Well, you are doughier than
you looked in Pyro's head.

1955
01:32:29,662 --> 01:32:31,090
You tried to kill me.

1956
01:32:31,114 --> 01:32:32,541
I literally have no I...

1957
01:32:32,565 --> 01:32:34,610
You come for the king,

1958
01:32:34,634 --> 01:32:36,678
you better kill the king.

1959
01:32:36,702 --> 01:32:37,414
Oh-ho-ho!

1960
01:32:37,438 --> 01:32:39,900
Welcome to the skull fuck club, Paradox.

1961
01:32:39,924 --> 01:32:42,387
You know she doesn't wash that hand.

1962
01:32:42,411 --> 01:32:44,224
Oh.

1963
01:32:44,248 --> 01:32:45,875
What's this?

1964
01:32:46,507 --> 01:32:47,507
A Time Ripper?

1965
01:32:47,531 --> 01:32:48,458
Naughty boy.

1966
01:32:48,482 --> 01:32:49,492
Oh, no. We're on it.

1967
01:32:49,516 --> 01:32:51,659
We're gonna head down
and dismantle that thing now.

1968
01:32:51,683 --> 01:32:53,827
We got ya, boo.
You just keep playing those keys.

1969
01:32:53,851 --> 01:32:56,335
I don't want to destroy it.

1970
01:32:56,359 --> 01:32:57,335
I want to use it.

1971
01:32:57,359 --> 01:33:00,956
Now, shoo. Mummy and Daddy
are having a conversation.

1972
01:33:07,237 --> 01:33:09,348
You know, the funny thing is,

1973
01:33:09,372 --> 01:33:10,843
I was happy in The Void.

1974
01:33:10,867 --> 01:33:14,782
You sent your trash to me.
Alioth and I cleaned it up.

1975
01:33:14,806 --> 01:33:16,651
Everyone was happy.

1976
01:33:16,675 --> 01:33:20,524
And then you had to
go and piss on my side of the fence.

1977
01:33:20,548 --> 01:33:23,427
And so now the fence must come down.

1978
01:33:23,451 --> 01:33:25,781
I'm going to use your little Time Ripper.

1979
01:33:25,805 --> 01:33:28,339
And I'm going to destroy this universe

1980
01:33:28,363 --> 01:33:31,636
and the next and the next and the next

1981
01:33:31,660 --> 01:33:34,934
until all that's left is The Void.

1982
01:33:34,958 --> 01:33:37,243
And I get to play God.

1983
01:33:37,267 --> 01:33:38,806
Come on.

1984
01:33:38,830 --> 01:33:39,707
Now you're going to show me

1985
01:33:39,731 --> 01:33:41,610
how to use this fancy gadget of yours.

1986
01:33:41,634 --> 01:33:43,514
And don't worry, I've called some friends

1987
01:33:43,538 --> 01:33:46,144
to make sure we're not disturbed.

1988
01:33:48,278 --> 01:33:49,454
Sorry to bother, madam,

1989
01:33:49,478 --> 01:33:51,224
but there's something you need to see.

1990
01:33:51,248 --> 01:33:54,327
We're getting indications
of an unsanctioned Time Ripper

1991
01:33:54,351 --> 01:33:57,452
activating on Earth-10005.

1992
01:33:58,420 --> 01:34:00,455
Whose district is that?

1993
01:34:00,653 --> 01:34:02,061
Paradox.

1994
01:34:12,401 --> 01:34:14,776
Well, thank you so much
for your help, darling.

1995
01:34:14,800 --> 01:34:17,416
God. Good to get out of that head.

1996
01:34:17,440 --> 01:34:20,112
Whew! What a mess!

1997
01:34:26,590 --> 01:34:27,590
Stop!

1998
01:34:27,614 --> 01:34:29,725
Let's give it a beat for the extras to clear.

1999
01:34:29,749 --> 01:34:32,982
Go, go, go, go, go! Oh, my God!

2000
01:34:36,887 --> 01:34:40,395
- Oh. My. God.
- Fuck.

2001
01:34:47,502 --> 01:34:49,711
It's her!

2002
01:34:49,735 --> 01:34:52,738
Come on, girl!

2003
01:34:53,904 --> 01:34:55,552
♪ Was love always this good ♪

2004
01:34:55,576 --> 01:34:58,688
♪ Or could this be just the start? ♪

2005
01:34:58,712 --> 01:35:00,371
Come on, girl!

2006
01:35:00,395 --> 01:35:02,053
♪ Baby, baby ♪

2007
01:35:02,077 --> 01:35:07,202
♪ Turn the radio up
for that sweet sound ♪

2008
01:35:07,226 --> 01:35:11,569
♪ Hold me close, never let me go ♪

2009
01:35:11,593 --> 01:35:14,473
♪ Keep this feelin' alive... ♪

2010
01:35:14,497 --> 01:35:15,473
That's my girl!

2011
01:35:15,497 --> 01:35:16,771
We don't have to be apart

2012
01:35:16,795 --> 01:35:18,906
ever, ever again. Never, ever...

2013
01:35:18,930 --> 01:35:20,535
- Sorry!
- Fuck!

2014
01:35:21,239 --> 01:35:22,843
What's Cafe Gratitude doing here?

2015
01:35:22,867 --> 01:35:24,829
Sorry about that.

2016
01:35:24,853 --> 01:35:26,815
Tremble not, sweet Mary Puppins.

2017
01:35:26,839 --> 01:35:28,168
I'll handle him.

2018
01:35:28,192 --> 01:35:29,520
Come here, girl. Papa's here.

2019
01:35:29,544 --> 01:35:32,821
Hey, do not insult
this animal's autonomy.

2020
01:35:32,845 --> 01:35:34,542
She can decide who her papa is.

2021
01:35:34,566 --> 01:35:36,263
What's it gonna be, girl, huh?

2022
01:35:36,287 --> 01:35:38,397
Original recipe or Van Milder here?

2023
01:35:38,421 --> 01:35:43,238
Ah, that's funny. I can gently
tap the fourth wall too.

2024
01:35:43,262 --> 01:35:45,021
The Proposal.

2025
01:35:45,603 --> 01:35:46,603
The fuck was that?

2026
01:35:46,627 --> 01:35:48,639
Bitch, you think that's what I do?

2027
01:35:48,663 --> 01:35:49,606
Both of you shut up.

2028
01:35:49,630 --> 01:35:51,939
You smell somethin'?

2029
01:35:51,963 --> 01:35:52,642
Yeah, you.

2030
01:35:52,666 --> 01:35:54,832
A lot of you.

2031
01:36:09,848 --> 01:36:12,488
Told you there were
a lot of Deadpools over there.

2032
01:36:24,335 --> 01:36:26,161
That's bad.

2033
01:36:47,556 --> 01:36:49,304
I take it they're not friendly.

2034
01:36:49,328 --> 01:36:50,029
Goodness, no.

2035
01:36:50,053 --> 01:36:51,701
Sorry about this, boys. Mission over.

2036
01:36:51,725 --> 01:36:55,508
Cause of death, one hundred
kill-thirsty Deadpools.

2037
01:36:55,532 --> 01:36:56,134
They're dumb.

2038
01:36:56,158 --> 01:36:57,558
But they can fight. Not me, though.

2039
01:36:57,582 --> 01:37:00,513
Would love to get in the mix,
but I have low bone density

2040
01:37:00,537 --> 01:37:02,064
and I have to keep my face safe.

2041
01:37:02,088 --> 01:37:03,614
Hold, please.

2042
01:37:03,638 --> 01:37:06,585
- Oh, God.
- All right. Look.

2043
01:37:06,609 --> 01:37:08,104
Guys!

2044
01:37:08,610 --> 01:37:09,851
Deadpool Prime here.

2045
01:37:09,875 --> 01:37:11,821
- Our fight isn't with you...
- Hey!

2046
01:37:11,845 --> 01:37:12,854
When I want your opinion,

2047
01:37:12,878 --> 01:37:15,429
I'll take Wolverine's dick
out of your mouth.

2048
01:37:15,453 --> 01:37:16,864
That's Kidpool. She's the dirtiest.

2049
01:37:16,888 --> 01:37:18,299
Can we just be done?

2050
01:37:18,323 --> 01:37:20,500
Ooh, we're just getting started.

2051
01:37:20,524 --> 01:37:22,683
No, no, no, no, no.

2052
01:37:22,707 --> 01:37:24,890
With the whole multiverse thing.

2053
01:37:25,297 --> 01:37:26,824
It's not great.

2054
01:37:26,848 --> 01:37:28,376
It's just been miss

2055
01:37:28,400 --> 01:37:29,789
after miss

2056
01:37:29,813 --> 01:37:31,202
after miss.

2057
01:37:31,226 --> 01:37:33,678
Look, The Wizard of Oz
did the multiverse first,

2058
01:37:33,702 --> 01:37:36,978
and they did it best. The gays knew it.

2059
01:37:37,002 --> 01:37:37,879
But we didn't listen.

2060
01:37:37,903 --> 01:37:40,618
Let's just take the I and move on.

2061
01:37:40,642 --> 01:37:43,424
I think it's been
steadily great since Endgame.

2062
01:37:43,448 --> 01:37:45,459
What are you talking about?

2063
01:37:45,483 --> 01:37:46,690
The multiverse is over.

2064
01:37:46,714 --> 01:37:48,187
Cassandy gonna destroy

2065
01:37:48,211 --> 01:37:49,792
the fuck outta every timeline.

2066
01:37:49,816 --> 01:37:51,432
Heh. Y'all can't do shit about it.

2067
01:37:51,456 --> 01:37:52,333
Do you not get it?

2068
01:37:52,357 --> 01:37:53,698
If we don't go down to the subway

2069
01:37:53,722 --> 01:37:54,566
and stop her, we all die.

2070
01:37:54,590 --> 01:37:55,865
Say, the boss lady

2071
01:37:55,889 --> 01:37:56,865
don't want no disturbances.

2072
01:37:56,889 --> 01:37:59,000
You wanna get down to the subway,

2073
01:37:59,024 --> 01:38:00,441
you gotta go through us.

2074
01:38:00,465 --> 01:38:01,474
Uzi time, baby.

2075
01:38:01,498 --> 01:38:03,042
Uzi time, baby.

2076
01:38:03,066 --> 01:38:04,633
Look alive!

2077
01:38:13,004 --> 01:38:14,950
- I think I'm hit.
- No shit.

2078
01:38:14,974 --> 01:38:15,719
You did that on purpose.

2079
01:38:15,743 --> 01:38:17,788
I did no such thing!

2080
01:38:17,812 --> 01:38:18,524
Listen to me, gorgeous.

2081
01:38:18,548 --> 01:38:20,593
How long does it take
for you to regenerate?

2082
01:38:20,617 --> 01:38:22,552
Regenerate?

2083
01:38:27,249 --> 01:38:29,404
You really are
God's perfect idiot, aren't you?

2084
01:38:29,428 --> 01:38:31,032
- I'm okay.
- How dare you!

2085
01:38:31,056 --> 01:38:32,703
You insensitive son of a bitch!

2086
01:38:32,727 --> 01:38:35,410
How was I supposed to know
he doesn't regenerate?

2087
01:38:35,434 --> 01:38:36,410
I'm not a medicine woman.

2088
01:38:36,434 --> 01:38:39,205
Look. A donut cart.
They're practically hospitals.

2089
01:38:39,229 --> 01:38:40,139
- What?
- They sell

2090
01:38:40,163 --> 01:38:41,643
- portable triage units.
- They don't.

2091
01:38:41,667 --> 01:38:43,472
I'm gonna get you to safety.

2092
01:38:43,496 --> 01:38:45,575
- He's not.
- Deep breath.

2093
01:38:52,879 --> 01:38:54,659
Hey, why are we stopping?

2094
01:38:54,683 --> 01:38:55,825
I'm just catching my breath.

2095
01:38:55,849 --> 01:38:59,225
What, are your legs on
vacation? You're dead weight!

2096
01:38:59,249 --> 01:39:00,409
That's because I'm paralyzed.

2097
01:39:00,433 --> 01:39:03,372
We all have problems. Listen to me.

2098
01:39:03,396 --> 01:39:05,023
You're gonna live.

2099
01:39:05,430 --> 01:39:07,178
Look at me, Nicepool.

2100
01:39:10,666 --> 01:39:12,635
You're gonna live.

2101
01:39:12,800 --> 01:39:14,481
Say it!

2102
01:39:14,505 --> 01:39:15,614
I'm gonna live.

2103
01:39:15,638 --> 01:39:17,914
Say it with me. You're gonna live.

2104
01:39:17,938 --> 01:39:19,816
I'm gonna live!

2105
01:39:19,840 --> 01:39:23,887
Ha-hah! Say it louder!

2106
01:39:23,911 --> 01:39:25,780
I'm gonna live...

2107
01:39:33,986 --> 01:39:36,054
Hold your fire!

2108
01:39:37,319 --> 01:39:39,431
Sweet little puppy.

2109
01:39:48,440 --> 01:39:50,418
God damn it!

2110
01:39:50,442 --> 01:39:52,421
I don't think he's gonna make it.

2111
01:39:52,445 --> 01:39:53,916
God, he loved his face.

2112
01:39:53,940 --> 01:39:56,755
I can taste his final thought.

2113
01:39:56,779 --> 01:39:57,987
He was so afraid.

2114
01:39:58,011 --> 01:39:59,218
But he died a hero.

2115
01:39:59,242 --> 01:40:01,121
He died from murder, you dumb fuck.

2116
01:40:01,145 --> 01:40:04,181
And all I have to remember him by

2117
01:40:04,346 --> 01:40:05,862
are these two gold-plated,

2118
01:40:05,886 --> 01:40:08,635
...50 caliber Desert Eagle pistoleros.

2119
01:40:08,659 --> 01:40:10,187
This is for him.

2120
01:40:10,319 --> 01:40:11,637
Are you ready?

2121
01:40:11,661 --> 01:40:13,706
I get to kill a hundred yous?

2122
01:40:13,730 --> 01:40:15,542
Fuck yeah, I'm ready.

2123
01:40:15,566 --> 01:40:17,369
Hey, you don't want to see this, bub.

2124
01:40:17,393 --> 01:40:18,393
That's a good girl.

2125
01:40:22,804 --> 01:40:27,114
♪ Life is a mystery ♪

2126
01:40:27,138 --> 01:40:31,751
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪

2127
01:40:31,775 --> 01:40:36,388
♪ I hear you call my name ♪

2128
01:40:36,412 --> 01:40:41,129
♪ And it feels like ♪

2129
01:40:41,153 --> 01:40:43,957
♪ Home... ♪

2130
01:40:55,540 --> 01:40:56,715
Holy shit.

2131
01:40:56,739 --> 01:40:59,653
You save the good stuff
for special occasions?

2132
01:40:59,677 --> 01:41:00,455
Killing, mostly.

2133
01:41:00,479 --> 01:41:01,919
What's the wind resistance

2134
01:41:01,943 --> 01:41:02,853
on those blow job handles?

2135
01:41:02,877 --> 01:41:04,756
I'm sorry.

2136
01:41:04,780 --> 01:41:07,793
I'm just a catty bitch when I'm jealous.

2137
01:41:07,817 --> 01:41:09,729
All right, let's do this.

2138
01:41:09,753 --> 01:41:11,655
Maximum effort.

2139
01:41:21,896 --> 01:41:25,711
♪ When you call my name
It's like a little prayer ♪

2140
01:41:25,735 --> 01:41:29,699
♪ I'm down on my knees
I want to take you there ♪

2141
01:41:29,723 --> 01:41:33,686
♪ In the midnight hour
I can feel your power ♪

2142
01:41:33,710 --> 01:41:38,692
♪ Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there ♪

2143
01:41:38,716 --> 01:41:42,563
♪ Life is a mystery ♪

2144
01:41:42,587 --> 01:41:46,600
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪

2145
01:41:46,624 --> 01:41:50,638
♪ I hear you call my name ♪

2146
01:41:50,662 --> 01:41:51,506
You're dead.

2147
01:41:51,530 --> 01:41:56,458
♪ And it feels like ♪

2148
01:41:58,702 --> 01:42:00,471
♪ Let the choir sing ♪

2149
01:42:00,495 --> 01:42:04,712
♪ When you call my name
It's like a little prayer ♪

2150
01:42:04,736 --> 01:42:08,884
♪ I'm down on my knees
I wanna take you there ♪

2151
01:42:08,908 --> 01:42:13,055
♪ In the midnight hour
I can feel your power ♪

2152
01:42:13,079 --> 01:42:17,566
♪ Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there ♪

2153
01:42:17,590 --> 01:42:19,534
Motherfucker.

2154
01:42:19,558 --> 01:42:20,766
I wish I were deaf.

2155
01:42:20,790 --> 01:42:22,081
♪ I'll take you there ♪

2156
01:42:22,105 --> 01:42:23,395
♪ It's like a dream to me ♪

2157
01:42:23,419 --> 01:42:25,496
♪ Oh oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

2158
01:42:25,520 --> 01:42:28,610
♪ Just like a prayer, I'll take you there ♪

2159
01:42:28,634 --> 01:42:30,105
♪ Oh yeah, yeah ♪

2160
01:42:30,129 --> 01:42:32,713
♪ It's like a dream to me ♪

2161
01:42:32,737 --> 01:42:35,583
♪ Oh, oh ♪

2162
01:42:35,607 --> 01:42:40,073
♪ It's like a prayer... ♪

2163
01:42:40,304 --> 01:42:43,218
I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die.

2164
01:42:43,242 --> 01:42:44,880
I don't wanna...

2165
01:42:57,762 --> 01:42:59,267
Come on.

2166
01:42:59,291 --> 01:42:59,904
Oh, I blew it.

2167
01:42:59,928 --> 01:43:02,303
After all that, the only thing
they're gonna remember

2168
01:43:02,327 --> 01:43:04,966
is that God-awful dismount!

2169
01:43:08,497 --> 01:43:10,718
What you laughing at, you little fucker?

2170
01:43:10,742 --> 01:43:11,983
Uh-oh.

2171
01:43:12,007 --> 01:43:13,689
Uh-oh.

2172
01:43:17,275 --> 01:43:19,783
I guess these ones regenerate.

2173
01:43:20,685 --> 01:43:23,665
Come on. We don't have time for this.

2174
01:43:23,689 --> 01:43:24,831
Deadpools!

2175
01:43:24,855 --> 01:43:26,757
Stand down.

2176
01:43:36,492 --> 01:43:37,943
This Deadpool's with me.

2177
01:43:37,967 --> 01:43:39,208
Oh, no.

2178
01:43:39,232 --> 01:43:40,472
Holy shit.

2179
01:43:40,496 --> 01:43:42,432
That's fuckin' Peter!

2180
01:43:44,841 --> 01:43:46,412
Wait, you... You guys know Peter?

2181
01:43:46,436 --> 01:43:48,822
You kidding me?
Every Deadpool has a Peter.

2182
01:43:48,846 --> 01:43:51,583
Shit. Peter's a goddamn legend

2183
01:43:51,607 --> 01:43:53,321
in every Deadpool's world.

2184
01:43:53,345 --> 01:43:55,653
Peter-san. Hai.

2185
01:44:02,419 --> 01:44:05,035
Peter. Peter. Peter.

2186
01:44:05,059 --> 01:44:07,890
Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter.

2187
01:44:07,914 --> 01:44:10,745
Peter. Peter. Peter.

2188
01:44:10,769 --> 01:44:13,099
Enjoy my Peter.

2189
01:44:39,598 --> 01:44:40,598
Oh, now you're here.

2190
01:44:40,622 --> 01:44:42,535
Oh, well, you're too late. It's all over.

2191
01:44:42,559 --> 01:44:43,238
Not yet, it's not.

2192
01:44:43,262 --> 01:44:45,307
Whoa. No, no, no. We're very close.

2193
01:44:45,331 --> 01:44:46,709
Homestretch, folks. Promise.

2194
01:44:46,733 --> 01:44:48,111
Quick, let's up the stakes.

2195
01:44:48,135 --> 01:44:49,695
If she steals the Time Ripper's energy,

2196
01:44:49,719 --> 01:44:52,149
she has the power to shred
the fabric of all realities

2197
01:44:52,173 --> 01:44:54,415
until there is nothing left but The Void.

2198
01:44:54,439 --> 01:44:55,790
How do we shut it down?

2199
01:44:55,814 --> 01:44:56,912
I don't know.

2200
01:44:58,254 --> 01:44:59,254
How about now?

2201
01:44:59,278 --> 01:45:01,306
The mask is really intimidating, huh?

2202
01:45:01,330 --> 01:45:03,358
It's like Batman,
except he can move his neck.

2203
01:45:03,382 --> 01:45:05,491
Okay, look, look, look.

2204
01:45:05,515 --> 01:45:08,544
The Ripper is fed from
a secure chamber below ground.

2205
01:45:08,568 --> 01:45:11,597
It is powered by twin matter
and anti-matter feeds

2206
01:45:11,621 --> 01:45:13,236
converging inside the device.

2207
01:45:13,260 --> 01:45:14,038
Now, Cassandra Nova

2208
01:45:14,062 --> 01:45:15,382
is redirecting the Ripper's power

2209
01:45:15,406 --> 01:45:17,537
to eliminate all timelines,
starting with this one.

2210
01:45:17,561 --> 01:45:18,881
Theoretically, you could stop her

2211
01:45:18,905 --> 01:45:20,905
by short-circuiting the feeds
in the chamber below.

2212
01:45:20,929 --> 01:45:23,345
One of you were to create a
circuit between the two feeds,

2213
01:45:23,369 --> 01:45:25,963
then the released power
would destroy the machine.

2214
01:45:25,987 --> 01:45:28,581
- But, well... But...
- Come on, man.

2215
01:45:28,605 --> 01:45:30,582
If you're not gonna swallow, spit it out.

2216
01:45:30,606 --> 01:45:34,554
Whoever formed the bridge
would be annihilated.

2217
01:45:34,578 --> 01:45:35,290
I could live with that.

2218
01:45:35,314 --> 01:45:37,074
Yeah, I could live with that, too, actually.

2219
01:45:37,098 --> 01:45:38,474
You know, we survive anything.
We're like cockroaches.

2220
01:45:38,498 --> 01:45:39,526
Not this time.

2221
01:45:39,550 --> 01:45:41,736
This is matter and anti-matter.

2222
01:45:41,760 --> 01:45:43,562
They do not play nicely with each other.

2223
01:45:43,586 --> 01:45:46,367
When they mix in your body,
you will be atomized.

2224
01:45:46,391 --> 01:45:49,172
Trust the laws of physics
if you don't trust me.

2225
01:45:49,196 --> 01:45:51,978
Even if you lived long enough
to make the circuit,

2226
01:45:52,002 --> 01:45:55,499
you will die down there.

2227
01:46:19,798 --> 01:46:21,171
Hold off. Hold.

2228
01:46:21,195 --> 01:46:22,475
You heard that asshole upstairs.

2229
01:46:22,499 --> 01:46:27,376
Even if we pull this off,
we're dead. Permanently.

2230
01:46:27,400 --> 01:46:30,699
- That's why it's got to be me.
- What?

2231
01:46:33,702 --> 01:46:35,548
Look, man...

2232
01:46:35,572 --> 01:46:38,288
you didn't ask for any of this.

2233
01:46:38,312 --> 01:46:39,795
You were right.

2234
01:46:39,819 --> 01:46:41,323
I lied.

2235
01:46:41,347 --> 01:46:42,654
I lied right to your face

2236
01:46:42,678 --> 01:46:45,923
just to get you to help me. And you did.

2237
01:46:46,319 --> 01:46:48,420
You didn't lie.

2238
01:46:49,454 --> 01:46:51,720
You made an educated wish.

2239
01:46:54,393 --> 01:46:55,766
Come on.

2240
01:46:55,790 --> 01:46:58,793
You got a whole world to go back to.

2241
01:46:59,728 --> 01:47:01,499
I got nothin'.

2242
01:47:02,874 --> 01:47:04,634
I got nothin'.

2243
01:47:08,913 --> 01:47:10,673
Give me this.

2244
01:47:17,317 --> 01:47:18,890
Hey.

2245
01:47:22,190 --> 01:47:25,160
I waited a long time for this team-up.

2246
01:47:26,722 --> 01:47:28,658
You know something?

2247
01:47:29,593 --> 01:47:32,282
You were the best Wolverine.

2248
01:47:39,834 --> 01:47:42,705
Say hi to your friends for me.

2249
01:47:54,364 --> 01:47:55,364
No!

2250
01:47:55,388 --> 01:47:56,002
Open the door!

2251
01:47:56,026 --> 01:47:58,698
I can't hear you
over all the noble sacrifice.

2252
01:47:58,722 --> 01:48:00,270
Why are you fucking doing this?

2253
01:48:00,294 --> 01:48:04,463
Because I'm Marvel Jesus.

2254
01:48:05,530 --> 01:48:07,037
Or Spock.

2255
01:48:07,697 --> 01:48:09,165
Hard to say.

2256
01:48:13,307 --> 01:48:15,401
Wade!

2257
01:48:15,425 --> 01:48:17,542
You fucking idiot!

2258
01:48:20,215 --> 01:48:23,228
Sorry, I'm just stalling.

2259
01:48:23,252 --> 01:48:26,155
I think I'm nervous about dying.

2260
01:48:26,386 --> 01:48:27,429
This should be me.

2261
01:48:27,453 --> 01:48:29,861
Say hi to my friends for me, peanut.

2262
01:48:29,885 --> 01:48:30,564
Wade!

2263
01:48:30,588 --> 01:48:32,699
You want to be an annoying prick,
do it this side!

2264
01:48:32,723 --> 01:48:35,461
You're gonna die in there,
you dumb fuck!

2265
01:48:41,863 --> 01:48:43,709
Hey! You don't need to do this.

2266
01:48:43,733 --> 01:48:46,779
I'm not doing it 'cause I need it.

2267
01:48:46,803 --> 01:48:49,607
I'm doing it because they do.

2268
01:49:00,453 --> 01:49:02,059
No!

2269
01:49:30,648 --> 01:49:32,914
He's not gonna make it.

2270
01:49:40,999 --> 01:49:42,759
It's over.

2271
01:49:55,409 --> 01:49:56,717
♪ When you call my name ♪

2272
01:49:56,741 --> 01:49:58,488
♪ It's like a little prayer ♪

2273
01:49:58,512 --> 01:50:00,391
♪ I'm down on my knees ♪

2274
01:50:00,415 --> 01:50:02,293
♪ I want to take you there ♪

2275
01:50:02,317 --> 01:50:06,198
♪ In the midnight hour
I can feel your power ♪

2276
01:50:06,222 --> 01:50:10,622
♪ Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there ♪

2277
01:50:11,359 --> 01:50:14,289
♪ Take you there ♪

2278
01:50:14,313 --> 01:50:17,242
♪ Life is a mystery ♪

2279
01:50:17,266 --> 01:50:20,731
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪

2280
01:50:21,633 --> 01:50:25,350
♪ I hear you call my name ♪

2281
01:50:25,374 --> 01:50:28,706
♪ And it feels like ♪

2282
01:50:29,608 --> 01:50:34,580
♪ And it feels like home ♪

2283
01:50:49,331 --> 01:50:51,892
The Wolverine.

2284
01:50:51,916 --> 01:50:54,501
He's a hero in my world.

2285
01:50:55,337 --> 01:50:56,975
Whoever you think I am,

2286
01:50:56,999 --> 01:50:59,143
you got the wrong guy.

2287
01:50:59,374 --> 01:51:02,542
You were always the wrong guy...

2288
01:51:03,091 --> 01:51:04,091
till you weren't.

2289
01:51:04,115 --> 01:51:06,754
♪ Life is a mystery ♪

2290
01:51:06,778 --> 01:51:07,853
Wade.

2291
01:51:07,877 --> 01:51:09,789
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪

2292
01:51:09,813 --> 01:51:14,399
Wade. You can finally, finally matter.

2293
01:51:14,423 --> 01:51:16,731
♪ I hear you call my name ♪

2294
01:51:16,755 --> 01:51:22,100
♪ And it feels like ♪

2295
01:51:22,265 --> 01:51:24,783
♪ Home ♪

2296
01:51:27,303 --> 01:51:30,877
♪ I hear your voice ♪

2297
01:51:30,901 --> 01:51:31,580
Vanessa.

2298
01:51:31,604 --> 01:51:34,353
♪ It's like an angel sighing ♪

2299
01:51:34,377 --> 01:51:35,155
I wanna see Vanessa.

2300
01:51:35,179 --> 01:51:39,820
♪ I have no choice I hear your voice ♪

2301
01:51:39,844 --> 01:51:41,524
♪ Feels like flying ♪

2302
01:51:41,548 --> 01:51:47,587
For the first time in my life,
I am proud to wear this suit.

2303
01:51:47,851 --> 01:51:50,491
It means I'm an X-Man.

2304
01:51:52,305 --> 01:51:53,305
I am the X-Man.

2305
01:51:53,329 --> 01:51:54,669
♪ I can feel your power ♪

2306
01:51:54,693 --> 01:51:59,533
♪ Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there ♪

2307
01:52:00,138 --> 01:52:03,580
♪ When you call my name
It's like a little prayer ♪

2308
01:52:03,604 --> 01:52:06,639
♪ I'm down on my knees ♪

2309
01:52:07,244 --> 01:52:11,753
♪ In the midnight hour
I can feel your power ♪

2310
01:52:11,777 --> 01:52:12,753
♪ Just like a prayer ♪

2311
01:52:12,777 --> 01:52:18,189
♪ You know I'll take you,
take you, take you ♪

2312
01:52:37,868 --> 01:52:40,035
Paradox.

2313
01:52:41,245 --> 01:52:42,552
You've been busy.

2314
01:52:42,576 --> 01:52:43,388
Well, somebody had to be.

2315
01:52:43,412 --> 01:52:45,556
We had some strange readings
from this location.

2316
01:52:45,580 --> 01:52:46,860
You wouldn't know anything about

2317
01:52:46,884 --> 01:52:48,740
an unsanctioned Time Ripper,
would you?

2318
01:52:48,764 --> 01:52:50,668
Uh, no. No. I wouldn't know anything

2319
01:52:50,692 --> 01:52:52,649
about an unsanctioned Time Ripper.

2320
01:52:52,673 --> 01:52:54,631
Maybe you should ask Cassandra Nova.

2321
01:52:54,655 --> 01:52:55,400
Because I was assured

2322
01:52:55,424 --> 01:52:57,799
that she was safely held
in The Void. But no,

2323
01:52:57,823 --> 01:52:59,734
she was here. And she fondled my brain.

2324
01:52:59,758 --> 01:53:02,474
- How did you let this happen?
- You weren't involved at all?

2325
01:53:02,498 --> 01:53:05,543
In stopping her, yes! Yes, I was.

2326
01:53:05,567 --> 01:53:06,477
But not nearly enough.

2327
01:53:06,501 --> 01:53:10,208
Not as much as the men
who went down there after her.

2328
01:53:10,538 --> 01:53:12,001
My men.

2329
01:53:12,276 --> 01:53:13,805
My friends.

2330
01:53:14,145 --> 01:53:15,145
I warned them.

2331
01:53:15,169 --> 01:53:17,329
That they would be completely
obliterated if they went.

2332
01:53:17,353 --> 01:53:19,926
But they went anyway. Like...

2333
01:53:20,647 --> 01:53:21,746
Like heroes.

2334
01:53:23,914 --> 01:53:26,081
Because that's who they were.

2335
01:53:27,753 --> 01:53:30,525
They just did what they had to do.

2336
01:53:30,624 --> 01:53:33,528
With no concern for their own safety.

2337
01:53:35,695 --> 01:53:39,445
The fact that we are all still standing here

2338
01:53:39,469 --> 01:53:43,197
is a testament to their heroism.

2339
01:53:45,771 --> 01:53:47,519
Anyway, there's nothing you or I can do

2340
01:53:47,543 --> 01:53:49,445
to bring them back now.

2341
01:53:49,940 --> 01:53:52,590
He has risen, baby girl.

2342
01:53:52,614 --> 01:53:53,084
Fuck!

2343
01:53:53,108 --> 01:53:57,055
♪ And I don't want the world to see me ♪

2344
01:53:57,079 --> 01:54:02,061
♪ 'Cause I don't think
that they'd understand ♪

2345
01:54:02,085 --> 01:54:07,220
♪ When everything's
made to be broken ♪

2346
01:54:07,244 --> 01:54:10,382
♪ I just want you to know who I am ♪

2347
01:54:10,406 --> 01:54:13,544
Found your new Anchor Being.

2348
01:54:13,568 --> 01:54:16,316
And we're doing just fine,
you piece of shit.

2349
01:54:16,340 --> 01:54:18,583
- Mm.
- Mm-hmm.

2350
01:54:18,607 --> 01:54:19,352
Fine indeed.

2351
01:54:19,376 --> 01:54:22,884
All right. Put your greasy tits away,

2352
01:54:22,908 --> 01:54:23,752
you preening slut.

2353
01:54:23,776 --> 01:54:25,468
I don't understand.

2354
01:54:25,492 --> 01:54:27,184
How are you two still alive?

2355
01:54:27,208 --> 01:54:29,561
You were right. One
of us would have been killed.

2356
01:54:29,585 --> 01:54:31,563
But you put a Deadpool

2357
01:54:31,587 --> 01:54:32,398
and a Wolverine together,

2358
01:54:32,422 --> 01:54:35,270
make 'em hold hands
while listening to Madonna...

2359
01:54:35,294 --> 01:54:37,337
indestructible, motherfucker.

2360
01:54:37,361 --> 01:54:39,670
Let's get this Deadpool
Variant back to The Void.

2361
01:54:39,694 --> 01:54:41,232
Wait, hold on. What?

2362
01:54:41,256 --> 01:54:42,232
Nope. Actually...

2363
01:54:42,256 --> 01:54:44,312
This one's homegrown, like me.

2364
01:54:44,336 --> 01:54:45,274
He belongs here.

2365
01:54:45,298 --> 01:54:46,236
And you are?

2366
01:54:46,260 --> 01:54:50,000
Peterpool. But you can call me Peter.

2367
01:54:50,836 --> 01:54:52,805
And I hope that you do.

2368
01:54:57,909 --> 01:54:59,855
What the fuck is happening here?

2369
01:54:59,879 --> 01:55:01,251
You are under judgment

2370
01:55:01,275 --> 01:55:03,463
for operating
an unsanctioned Time Ripper.

2371
01:55:03,487 --> 01:55:04,847
- Take him.
- I was just doing what

2372
01:55:04,871 --> 01:55:06,674
you don't have the guts to do.

2373
01:55:07,391 --> 01:55:11,186
Get your insolent hands off me! Get off!

2374
01:55:11,725 --> 01:55:14,123
I'm grateful, gentlemen.

2375
01:55:14,332 --> 01:55:15,034
Let's hold the bows.

2376
01:55:15,058 --> 01:55:17,576
You led an Omega-level mutant
to this timeline.

2377
01:55:17,600 --> 01:55:19,193
- You're welcome.
- And you

2378
01:55:19,217 --> 01:55:21,272
shouldn't even be near this timeline.

2379
01:55:21,296 --> 01:55:23,351
- He's welcome.
- And you

2380
01:55:23,375 --> 01:55:25,452
look damn good in that suit.

2381
01:55:25,476 --> 01:55:27,136
I'm so sorry.

2382
01:55:30,711 --> 01:55:33,142
I wanna show you something.

2383
01:55:33,251 --> 01:55:34,251
Something huge.

2384
01:55:34,275 --> 01:55:37,487
That's what
Scoutmaster Kevin used to say.

2385
01:55:38,455 --> 01:55:39,729
Do you see that?

2386
01:55:39,753 --> 01:55:42,459
Your universe is regenerating.

2387
01:55:42,624 --> 01:55:44,261
Whatever you did here,

2388
01:55:44,285 --> 01:55:46,439
you not only saved your world.

2389
01:55:46,463 --> 01:55:49,961
You spared your timeline from extinction.

2390
01:55:50,873 --> 01:55:51,873
I'd rest up.

2391
01:55:51,897 --> 01:55:54,481
I have a feeling your work
is only just getting started.

2392
01:55:54,505 --> 01:55:57,308
Till you're 90.

2393
01:55:57,332 --> 01:55:58,176
Wait! Um...

2394
01:55:58,200 --> 01:56:02,049
We couldn't have made it out
of The Void without some help

2395
01:56:02,073 --> 01:56:05,657
from some people
that the world kind of...

2396
01:56:05,681 --> 01:56:06,250
kind of forgot.

2397
01:56:06,274 --> 01:56:09,496
Is there any way that
you could maybe find a way

2398
01:56:09,520 --> 01:56:11,521
to bring them home?

2399
01:56:12,224 --> 01:56:13,224
I'll see what I can do.

2400
01:56:13,248 --> 01:56:16,244
And, um, I promised my friend here

2401
01:56:16,268 --> 01:56:19,264
that the TVA could undo
some pretty awful shit

2402
01:56:19,288 --> 01:56:19,901
in his timeline.

2403
01:56:19,925 --> 01:56:21,673
What would you say to that?

2404
01:56:21,697 --> 01:56:22,607
Change the past?

2405
01:56:22,631 --> 01:56:24,874
Well, he did help me save the world.

2406
01:56:24,898 --> 01:56:28,515
And his past made him
the man who did it.

2407
01:56:28,539 --> 01:56:31,937
There's nothing to fix, Mr. Wilson.

2408
01:56:32,872 --> 01:56:34,544
Logan.

2409
01:56:36,711 --> 01:56:39,747
- Shawarma? Yeah.
- I could eat.

2410
01:56:48,250 --> 01:56:51,835
You know, the Avengers
discovered shawarma.

2411
01:56:51,859 --> 01:56:54,564
They'd be lucky to have you.

2412
01:57:00,900 --> 01:57:03,484
- Oh.
- Oh, come on.

2413
01:57:03,508 --> 01:57:05,036
Fuck off!

2414
01:57:05,333 --> 01:57:06,618
Come here, my little cunchkin.

2415
01:57:06,642 --> 01:57:08,489
Yes, it's you.

2416
01:57:08,513 --> 01:57:10,722
You're a survivor.

2417
01:57:10,746 --> 01:57:11,381
Mwah.

2418
01:57:11,405 --> 01:57:14,078
Oh, all is right in the world.

2419
01:57:14,782 --> 01:57:16,520
Yes, it is.

2420
01:57:17,312 --> 01:57:19,490
So what are you gonna do next?

2421
01:57:19,787 --> 01:57:22,988
I'll figure it out. I always do.

2422
01:57:23,285 --> 01:57:24,867
All right.

2423
01:57:24,891 --> 01:57:26,188
So I'll probably see you around?

2424
01:57:31,667 --> 01:57:33,427
Probably not.

2425
01:57:35,935 --> 01:57:37,706
See you, bub.

2426
01:57:46,616 --> 01:57:48,442
Logan.

2427
01:57:54,283 --> 01:57:55,794
Al. I'm back.

2428
01:57:55,818 --> 01:57:57,328
About damn time.

2429
01:57:57,352 --> 01:58:00,365
You holdin'? I'm all outta devil's dandruff,

2430
01:58:00,389 --> 01:58:02,675
and I'm shaking like an angry vibrator.

2431
01:58:02,699 --> 01:58:05,480
Thank you, Al. We have company.

2432
01:58:05,504 --> 01:58:06,981
Althea, this is...

2433
01:58:07,005 --> 01:58:08,482
This is Logan.

2434
01:58:08,506 --> 01:58:11,397
- Nice to meet you, Logan.
- Nice to meet you, too.

2435
01:58:11,421 --> 01:58:14,313
And this little ancient anal
shit-knot is Mary Puppins.

2436
01:58:14,337 --> 01:58:16,589
Or as I like to call her, Dogpool.

2437
01:58:16,613 --> 01:58:19,691
You want to treat yourself
to a little stroke?

2438
01:58:19,715 --> 01:58:23,492
- Get the tongue. There it is.
- Oh, my God! Motherfucker!

2439
01:58:23,516 --> 01:58:27,293
Right? It's like an armadillo
fucked a gremlin, angrily,

2440
01:58:27,317 --> 01:58:28,865
- in a bed of gonorrhea...
- Wow.

2441
01:58:28,889 --> 01:58:32,453
...and didn't stop till the sun came up.

2442
01:58:32,662 --> 01:58:34,299
Everyone wants to matter.

2443
01:58:34,323 --> 01:58:37,908
Turns out that you don't need
to be Marvel Jesus to do it.

2444
01:58:37,932 --> 01:58:41,681
You just need to open
your eyes and look around.

2445
01:58:41,705 --> 01:58:43,583
And if you're lucky,

2446
01:58:43,607 --> 01:58:45,718
you'll find a few friends.

2447
01:58:45,742 --> 01:58:47,620
Old friends,

2448
01:58:47,644 --> 01:58:50,174
and some new ones too.

2449
01:58:53,650 --> 01:58:56,917
Give me the fucking dog. Talk to the girl.

2450
01:59:06,739 --> 01:59:07,739
Oh, hi.

2451
01:59:07,763 --> 01:59:09,698
Hi.

2452
01:59:11,580 --> 01:59:13,461
You've been busy.

2453
01:59:15,705 --> 01:59:17,938
I did it for you.

2454
01:59:18,433 --> 01:59:22,404
And even if you don't want me,
I... I did it for you.

2455
01:59:30,951 --> 01:59:32,390
Turns out,

2456
01:59:32,414 --> 01:59:34,161
I am the world-saving type.

2457
01:59:34,185 --> 01:59:37,760
Just look around this table
if you want proof.

2458
01:59:37,859 --> 01:59:39,573
And the best part?

2459
01:59:39,597 --> 01:59:42,467
Sometimes the people we save,

2460
01:59:42,491 --> 01:59:43,897
they save us right back.

2461
01:59:45,461 --> 01:59:49,275
♪ We've got the right foundation ♪

2462
01:59:49,299 --> 01:59:54,149
♪ And with the love and determination ♪

2463
01:59:54,173 --> 02:00:01,172
♪ You're all, you're all I need ♪

2464
02:00:05,480 --> 02:00:06,996
♪ You're all ♪

2465
02:00:07,020 --> 02:00:13,059
♪ You're all I need to get by ♪

2466
02:00:15,589 --> 02:00:18,558
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

2467
02:00:23,707 --> 02:00:26,577
You're not the only one with gifts.

2468
02:00:26,601 --> 02:00:28,569
What is this place?

2469
02:00:36,984 --> 02:00:41,998
♪ Another turning point,
a fork stuck in the road ♪

2470
02:00:42,022 --> 02:00:47,621
♪ Time grabs you by the wrist,
directs you where to go ♪

2471
02:00:48,094 --> 02:00:52,239
♪ So make the best of this
test and don't ask why ♪

2472
02:00:52,263 --> 02:00:56,409
♪ It's not a question, but
a lesson learned in time ♪

2473
02:00:56,433 --> 02:00:57,943
- Nice suit.
- Zip it, Stan Lee.

2474
02:00:57,967 --> 02:00:59,478
♪ It's something unpredictable ♪

2475
02:00:59,502 --> 02:01:01,578
♪ But in the end is right ♪

2476
02:01:01,602 --> 02:01:06,508
♪ I hope you had the time of your life... ♪

2477
02:01:07,073 --> 02:01:09,273
I really like the, uh...
the art in the Deadpool comics.

2478
02:01:09,297 --> 02:01:11,734
You know, I just always felt
a kind of a kinship to him.

2479
02:01:11,758 --> 02:01:14,195
And I just thought,
I'd like to play that guy someday.

2480
02:01:14,219 --> 02:01:19,564
♪ So take the photographs and
still frames in your mind ♪

2481
02:01:19,588 --> 02:01:24,569
♪ Hang it on a shelf in
good health and good time ♪

2482
02:01:24,593 --> 02:01:29,717
♪ Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial ♪

2483
02:01:29,741 --> 02:01:32,687
♪ For what it's worth, it was worth ♪

2484
02:01:32,711 --> 02:01:35,636
♪ All the while ♪

2485
02:01:36,208 --> 02:01:37,549
♪ It's something unpredictable ♪

2486
02:01:37,573 --> 02:01:39,154
♪ But in the end is right ♪

2487
02:01:39,178 --> 02:01:42,894
♪ I hope you had the time of your life... ♪

2488
02:01:42,918 --> 02:01:46,800
I was there for three weeks
before I shot a single thing.

2489
02:01:46,824 --> 02:01:49,198
At our first day of shooting,

2490
02:01:49,222 --> 02:01:50,528
I was so nervous, man.

2491
02:01:50,552 --> 02:01:52,740
Everyone was sort of going,
"Who's this guy?"

2492
02:01:52,764 --> 02:01:54,604
You know, there was a lot of that and,

2493
02:01:54,628 --> 02:01:57,087
you know, "Is he gonna deliver or not?"

2494
02:01:57,111 --> 02:01:59,570
You can feel all that kind of pressure.

2495
02:01:59,594 --> 02:02:04,170
It's always the suit's fault.
Never the actor.

2496
02:02:11,881 --> 02:02:13,056
- This is...
- The only way.

2497
02:02:13,080 --> 02:02:15,763
♪ It's something unpredictable ♪

2498
02:02:15,787 --> 02:02:17,489
♪ But in the end is right ♪

2499
02:02:17,513 --> 02:02:22,528
♪ I hope you had the time of your life ♪

2500
02:02:22,552 --> 02:02:25,829
Ah, so this is what it feels like.

2501
02:02:27,589 --> 02:02:29,100
And there's the lights.

2502
02:02:29,124 --> 02:02:30,634
For medical research.

2503
02:02:30,658 --> 02:02:33,232
- Bye-bye, video.
- Bye.

2504
02:06:46,287 --> 02:06:49,564
I'm tired of these absolutely vile rumors

2505
02:06:49,588 --> 02:06:51,655
that I got Johnny killed.

2506
02:06:51,853 --> 02:06:53,756
Let's look at the tape.

2507
02:06:54,305 --> 02:06:55,305
In The Void,

2508
02:06:55,329 --> 02:06:57,506
you're either food for Alioth

2509
02:06:57,530 --> 02:06:59,498
or you work for her.

2510
02:07:01,665 --> 02:07:02,774
Go on, Johnny.

2511
02:07:02,798 --> 02:07:04,909
And I'll tell you who "her" is.

2512
02:07:04,933 --> 02:07:05,513
Cassandra Nova.

2513
02:07:05,537 --> 02:07:07,433
A megalomaniacal, psychotic asshole.

2514
02:07:07,457 --> 02:07:09,352
A finger licking dead-inside pixie slab

2515
02:07:09,376 --> 02:07:11,751
of third rate dime-store nut-milk.
And I'll tell you

2516
02:07:11,775 --> 02:07:13,505
- what she can do.
- I'm listening.

2517
02:07:13,529 --> 02:07:15,209
She can lick my goddamn
cinnamon ring clean

2518
02:07:15,233 --> 02:07:16,833
and kick rocks all the way to bald hell.

2519
02:07:16,857 --> 02:07:19,231
In fact, I don't give a shit
if she removes all my skin

2520
02:07:19,255 --> 02:07:21,827
and pops me like some
nightmarish blood balloon.

2521
02:07:21,851 --> 02:07:22,596
If the last thing I do

2522
02:07:22,620 --> 02:07:24,731
in this godforsaken cum-gutter existence

2523
02:07:24,755 --> 02:07:26,667
is light that fuck-box on fire,

2524
02:07:26,691 --> 02:07:27,403
I still won't die happy.

2525
02:07:27,427 --> 02:07:28,701
Holy shit, girl. You crazy.

2526
02:07:28,725 --> 02:07:31,936
That's right, Wade.
I won't be happy until I've urinated

2527
02:07:31,960 --> 02:07:33,591
on her freshly barbecued corpse

2528
02:07:33,615 --> 02:07:35,387
and husk-fucked the charred remains

2529
02:07:35,411 --> 02:07:37,352
while gargling Juggernaut's juggernuts.

2530
02:07:37,376 --> 02:07:39,317
- Wow!
- And you can quote me.

2531
02:07:39,341 --> 02:07:41,016
'Kay.

2532
02:07:41,040 --> 02:07:42,739
Got you, fuck face.