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I am calling for an official
vote by the General Assembly
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00:00:04,607 --> 00:00:08,379
to ban private
spy organizations worldwide.
3
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Their lawless shadow world
must end!
4
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Can't they find
anyone to defend us?
5
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Well, the North Koreans said
we're an excellent example
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of the fatal contradictions
of capitalism.
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Damn.
Why do the people who hate us
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have the best arguments?
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I mean, the easy answer
is 'cause they're right.
10
00:00:23,712 --> 00:00:26,449
But the correct,
more complex answer, is,
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- uh... very complex.
- Yes, I left Interpol abruptly.
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And, yes, I work in an industry
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whose rep is worse than
an ongoing orphanage fire.
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But I'm easier to work with now.
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Oh, that's just like you, Steve,
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you dribble of piss.
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Ugh! Bollocks!
18
00:00:42,850 --> 00:00:46,690
- So how's the job search?
- Honestly? On the upswing.
19
00:00:46,691 --> 00:00:48,192
- Guys, the mission?
- Really?
20
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- We're still doing that?
- Oh, come on.
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They're just grandstanding.
Do you know how much
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dirt private spy agencies
have on those UN dorks?
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They'll cave before the vote.
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So our business that's
being banned for being dirty
25
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won't be banned because
it's too dirty to ban?
26
00:00:59,617 --> 00:01:03,590
- That's your argument?
- It would appear that it is.
27
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I have to make some calls.
Totally unrelated.
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Look, this isn't going to
happen because it can't happen,
29
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- so let's just stop talking about it!
- Right, sort of.
30
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But let's just be
professionals here.
31
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And speaking of the opposite
of that, where is Archer?
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He's here.
33
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Waiting patiently.
And professionally.
34
00:01:21,226 --> 00:01:23,296
Well, those two are
definitely professionals.
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- You said it was an escort mission.
- Uh, no one said that.
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The mission is simple.
Oh, God, are they breathing?
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We did go pretty hard
last night.
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Anyone bring any of those, uh,
what, uh, oh, nose mirrors?
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What sensitivity you need?
40
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- You travel with those?
- Uh, you don't?
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Voicemail!
I know you're there, Catherine!
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Pick up, you sniveling strumpet!
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Oh, there they go.
44
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All right, everybody,
let's go have a great mission!
45
00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:52,922
Oh, uh, wait, what's the mission?
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Also, what country is this?
47
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sync & correction by f1nc0
-- Addic7ed.com --
48
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So now that we've got the
distractions out of the way...
49
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They weren't distractions, Lana.
50
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They were people with real hopes
51
00:02:38,815 --> 00:02:40,718
and real dreams
and real fake names.
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- Which were?
- Like I've got the brain space for that.
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00:02:43,742 --> 00:02:45,582
Got the brain space for
what country you're in?
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Barbados.
No, wait. Bahrain.
55
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I... I know it's got a bar in it.
56
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So in Rio de Janeiro...
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Ha! It was the bra
I was thinking of in Brazil.
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Come on, let's go.
Time is of the essence. Probably.
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The Chinese military developed
a high-tech bunker buster,
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and the US government
wants a look at it.
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00:03:03,865 --> 00:03:06,335
But they can't be seen
to be involved.
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Isn't that a great argument
for us continuing to exist?
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00:03:08,675 --> 00:03:11,625
- Not if you're the Chinese.
- So some Chinese gangsters
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00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,984
went rogue and stole it,
and then immediately panicked.
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00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,554
We're not sure who the buyer is,
66
00:03:15,555 --> 00:03:17,257
but to narrow it down,
just make a list
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of every terrorist
organization in the world.
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I'm definitely not doing that.
69
00:03:21,399 --> 00:03:24,773
They chose Brazil for the handoff
because this time of year, it is...
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00:03:24,774 --> 00:03:26,877
...a bit distracting.
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00:03:28,948 --> 00:03:31,285
I think you mean awesome, Lana.
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00:03:31,286 --> 00:03:35,026
The pageantry, the history,
the popo zau... right?
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00:03:35,027 --> 00:03:36,830
Yeah, I wouldn't worry
about distractions.
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He seems pretty dialed in.
75
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,962
So the handoff is happening
at a black market warehouse
76
00:03:40,986 --> 00:03:42,842
here, owned by
Brazilian gangsters.
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You intercept the bomb and
drive it to the helipad here.
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00:03:45,682 --> 00:03:47,885
Infiltrate, extract, transport.
Got it.
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00:03:47,886 --> 00:03:50,323
Now in regards
to intelligence on this one,
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00:03:50,324 --> 00:03:52,360
do you know if any of
these gangsters are hiring?
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And that's goodbye.
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- Hello.
- Hi.
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00:03:58,808 --> 00:04:01,345
- Yeah, hi.
- Also hi.
84
00:04:01,346 --> 00:04:04,384
You think you might want
to address the troops?
85
00:04:04,385 --> 00:04:08,560
I think you sent an
intense email by accident.
86
00:04:10,397 --> 00:04:13,837
So I understand that this is
a shock, but you are not fired.
87
00:04:13,838 --> 00:04:15,574
This is a hiatus.
88
00:04:15,575 --> 00:04:17,812
And we will be back in
business when the smoke clears.
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00:04:17,813 --> 00:04:22,755
Don't mind me. Just collecting
rage pheromones for nothing.
90
00:04:22,756 --> 00:04:24,859
Thank you all for your hard work.
91
00:04:24,860 --> 00:04:29,769
Each and every one of you is truly...
valued.
92
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:33,009
- Hey, Kirk, wait!
- You forgot your...
93
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Literal bag of shit.
94
00:04:35,347 --> 00:04:37,552
Seems a bit harsh.
95
00:04:37,553 --> 00:04:39,522
That's what these guys are.
96
00:04:39,523 --> 00:04:43,029
That pangolin is clearly dehydrated.
Wait. Oh, my God.
97
00:04:43,030 --> 00:04:44,699
- Is it the bomb?
- What bomb?
98
00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:46,101
Oh, right. No.
99
00:04:46,102 --> 00:04:48,941
It's a case of
Glengoolie Green whiskey.
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00:04:48,942 --> 00:04:52,013
- Is that the most important thing?
- Seriously?
101
00:04:52,014 --> 00:04:53,951
They only made, like,
100 cases of that.
102
00:04:53,952 --> 00:04:58,459
50, 30 of which were lost at sea.
Oh, yeah, I also see the bomb.
103
00:04:58,460 --> 00:05:01,465
Uh, it looks like
the buyer hasn't shown yet.
104
00:05:01,466 --> 00:05:03,066
It's just the Chinese
and the Brazilians.
105
00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:06,075
So here's the plan.
I'm gonna go open some crates
106
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to see if they have anymore
Glengoolie Green.
107
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:09,414
And then?
108
00:05:09,415 --> 00:05:11,418
- Well, that depends.
- On what?
109
00:05:11,419 --> 00:05:14,057
- On whether I find it.
- Wait, that's the plan?
110
00:05:14,058 --> 00:05:17,130
- Do nothing and hope it works out?
- Well, what else can we do?
111
00:05:17,131 --> 00:05:19,001
Unless someone with
lots of money...
112
00:05:19,002 --> 00:05:21,573
so much that they don't
have any use for it...
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- could hire us.
- Who would even do that?
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00:05:24,078 --> 00:05:26,683
Like, do you guys have
any real skills?
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00:05:26,684 --> 00:05:28,720
- I'm an accountant!
- I know all the science.
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I said real skills.
117
00:05:30,492 --> 00:05:33,664
I guess it's not as useful
as glue-sniffing tolerance.
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- Though I am willing to learn.
- Me too!
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00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,540
So I hate to interrupt
your planned addiction here, but...
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- Demon fridge!
- Whoa, easy. It's Barry.
121
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Yeah, and I'm not sure
the answer to the question,
122
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"How do I hurt refrigerator?"
is knife.
123
00:05:46,924 --> 00:05:48,527
I've been here for weeks.
124
00:05:48,528 --> 00:05:51,499
Or you just got here, and
you're messing with our memories.
125
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Who even am I?
126
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So where's my freaking body, Krieger?
127
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You shoved me in this fridge,
and you said it was temporary.
128
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Hey, I was almost done
with the prototype for you.
129
00:05:59,917 --> 00:06:01,686
But then I ran into
a scientific roadblock.
130
00:06:01,687 --> 00:06:02,989
Which was?
131
00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:04,559
I got bored.
132
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:08,165
- Ah! My microscope eye.
- So first of all,
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everything is totally fine and normal.
134
00:06:11,039 --> 00:06:13,442
But just in case, we need
to clean this place out
135
00:06:13,443 --> 00:06:14,946
so we can get our deposit back.
136
00:06:14,947 --> 00:06:18,052
And if we get our deposit back,
I will split it with you.
137
00:06:18,053 --> 00:06:22,528
- And if you find anything cool, you can sell it.
- One question.
138
00:06:24,733 --> 00:06:27,805
- What have I done to deserve this?
- Oh, I don't know.
139
00:06:27,806 --> 00:06:29,842
Pushed all your mistakes
down this elevator shaft?
140
00:06:29,843 --> 00:06:31,479
So ballpark,
141
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:34,051
how many bodies do you think
we pushed down here?
142
00:06:34,052 --> 00:06:37,892
- Uh, I did two or three.
- Two or three bodies. Not so bad.
143
00:06:37,893 --> 00:06:40,531
Oh, no,
two or three ballparks.
144
00:06:41,332 --> 00:06:42,868
So now can we get the bomb?
145
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:45,841
Not until I tell everyone how
I just found the coolest thing.
146
00:06:45,842 --> 00:06:47,678
- So do it.
- I just did.
147
00:06:47,679 --> 00:06:49,816
And now, you don't get
to know what it is.
148
00:06:49,817 --> 00:06:50,884
Hang on.
149
00:06:50,885 --> 00:06:53,669
- Something's happening.
- Shit. Buyer still hasn't shown up,
150
00:06:53,670 --> 00:06:54,749
and there's no translator.
151
00:06:54,773 --> 00:06:56,529
Wait.
Archer, you speak Portuguese.
152
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- Claro.
- And I speak a little Chinese.
153
00:06:58,474 --> 00:07:01,205
Great, so you go down there and
explain that you're the buyers,
154
00:07:01,206 --> 00:07:03,910
they give us the bomb,
and we get out of here.
155
00:07:03,911 --> 00:07:06,081
- Yes, Pam.
- It's kind of genius.
156
00:07:06,082 --> 00:07:07,685
Hmm, seems complicated.
157
00:07:07,686 --> 00:07:09,689
What if I just solved
everything myself
158
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,250
while you guys stare at me
in quiet awe,
159
00:07:11,274 --> 00:07:14,131
- proving that I don't need anyone?
- And how are you gonna do that?
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00:07:14,132 --> 00:07:15,732
I'm going to introduce
them to my friend,
161
00:07:15,756 --> 00:07:17,505
Mr. Basic Acoustics.
162
00:07:18,975 --> 00:07:21,846
And Mr. Basic Acoustics'
first name is...
163
00:07:21,847 --> 00:07:23,082
Uh...
164
00:07:23,083 --> 00:07:24,752
Ugh, forget it.
165
00:07:38,012 --> 00:07:40,116
Death By!
His first name is Death By.
166
00:07:40,117 --> 00:07:44,024
I nailed it.
Death by basic acoustics, right?
167
00:07:44,025 --> 00:07:47,732
Come on.
Guys?
168
00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:50,403
Should have waited.
169
00:07:51,574 --> 00:07:53,677
All right, stay focused.
170
00:07:53,678 --> 00:07:55,046
I see a gap in the line.
Ready?
171
00:07:55,047 --> 00:07:56,683
And, now!
172
00:07:59,823 --> 00:08:02,628
Why isn't every day Carnival?
173
00:08:02,629 --> 00:08:05,734
- Um, because society would collapse?
- Totally worth it.
174
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,805
You know,
if this is our last mission,
175
00:08:07,806 --> 00:08:10,611
- not a bad way to go out.
- Stop saying that.
176
00:08:10,612 --> 00:08:12,080
Everything's gonna be fine,
177
00:08:12,081 --> 00:08:15,821
so shut up and let me focus
on how great my ass looks.
178
00:08:15,822 --> 00:08:17,725
Well, counterpoint,
maybe you suck.
179
00:08:17,726 --> 00:08:19,595
- Maybe I will.
- What?
180
00:08:19,596 --> 00:08:21,733
I've lost the thread
on this argument.
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00:08:21,734 --> 00:08:23,937
You pointed out that
Cheryl wasn't helping,
182
00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:26,876
despite the fact that
you aren't helping either.
183
00:08:26,877 --> 00:08:29,081
Hey, I gave you that water,
and just so you know,
184
00:08:29,082 --> 00:08:31,953
when I do that,
it feels like I'm peeing.
185
00:08:31,954 --> 00:08:33,890
- Dude.
- Fascinating.
186
00:08:33,891 --> 00:08:37,030
So your physical sensations are
mapped onto the refrigerator.
187
00:08:37,031 --> 00:08:40,715
Kind of, yeah. Is that gonna
help you put me back into my body?
188
00:08:40,739 --> 00:08:42,073
Not yet, but in the future,
189
00:08:42,074 --> 00:08:43,877
maybe we'll all be trapped
in refrigerators,
190
00:08:43,878 --> 00:08:45,878
so you won't feel as bad.
191
00:08:45,902 --> 00:08:48,252
Gah, my non-microscope eye!
192
00:08:48,253 --> 00:08:50,958
- What the...
- It's Milton.
193
00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:58,774
Well, at least
that's not depressing.
194
00:08:58,775 --> 00:09:01,579
Isn't there, like,
another elevator shaft
195
00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:04,685
- we could push this trash down?
- Oh, I hate this job.
196
00:09:04,686 --> 00:09:07,892
I hate losing this job.
Stupid elevator shaft!
197
00:09:07,893 --> 00:09:10,296
Good God, you guys
complain so much.
198
00:09:10,297 --> 00:09:12,167
Just look around
for some garbage to sell
199
00:09:12,168 --> 00:09:15,741
so you can buy that rent thing
you're always whining about.
200
00:09:15,742 --> 00:09:17,978
Do you not know what rent is?
201
00:09:17,979 --> 00:09:23,990
I want to say a kind of poor
people food, like kibble?
202
00:09:25,862 --> 00:09:28,867
Mmm. This is...
and I don't say this lightly...
203
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:32,842
- concentrated liquid orgasm.
- Ugh, gross.
204
00:09:32,843 --> 00:09:35,379
But you're absolutely right.
205
00:09:39,656 --> 00:09:42,260
So what are y'all gonna do
when this is over?
206
00:09:42,261 --> 00:09:44,064
- Oh, come on!
- Stop.
207
00:09:44,065 --> 00:09:45,865
We've got intelligence that
208
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:48,038
the Chinese are staking out
all major helipads.
209
00:09:48,039 --> 00:09:49,809
You're going to have to
turn off the parade route.
210
00:09:49,810 --> 00:09:50,978
- Oh, no!
- Aww, come on!
211
00:09:50,979 --> 00:09:52,781
- Boo!
- Yeah, real sorry
212
00:09:52,782 --> 00:09:54,422
you gotta do a mission
during the mission.
213
00:09:54,446 --> 00:09:56,021
Well, at least you apologized.
214
00:09:56,022 --> 00:09:58,022
I found you a clearing
you can use up in the hills.
215
00:09:58,046 --> 00:09:59,896
- I'll send coordinates.
- So hear me out.
216
00:09:59,897 --> 00:10:01,633
What if we just stayed
on the parade route
217
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,068
and sold the bomb to the Chinese?
218
00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:04,829
I don't know.
They'd probably kill you
219
00:10:04,853 --> 00:10:06,743
and maybe start World War III.
220
00:10:06,744 --> 00:10:08,179
What are we thinking?
Worth a shot?
221
00:10:09,683 --> 00:10:11,853
Idiots!
222
00:10:11,854 --> 00:10:13,422
Aw, how can I complain
about idiots
223
00:10:13,423 --> 00:10:15,794
without any idiots to complain to?
224
00:10:15,795 --> 00:10:18,867
- But what does it mean?
- What does what mean?
225
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:21,438
Oh, uh, just our newfound
closeness as a team.
226
00:10:21,439 --> 00:10:23,042
We also found some keys.
227
00:10:23,043 --> 00:10:24,712
- Really, Cheryl?
- What?
228
00:10:24,713 --> 00:10:27,050
You know I'm not good with
nonverbal communication.
229
00:10:27,051 --> 00:10:28,753
Just incidentally,
230
00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:30,514
what kind of communication
are you good with?
231
00:10:30,538 --> 00:10:32,227
- What?
- OK.
232
00:10:32,228 --> 00:10:33,528
So?
233
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:37,905
Anyone recognize these?
234
00:10:37,906 --> 00:10:40,408
New task. Figure out
what these keys go to.
235
00:10:40,412 --> 00:10:43,315
Search everywhere. Maybe
it's something we can sell.
236
00:10:43,316 --> 00:10:45,396
Did you just clear a throat
237
00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:46,121
you do not have?
238
00:10:46,122 --> 00:10:47,290
Uh, I want to help.
239
00:10:47,291 --> 00:10:50,931
Uh, I hate to break this to you,
but you are a refrigerator.
240
00:10:50,932 --> 00:10:53,235
I am aware!
241
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:56,241
And I've been shoved in
that break room for months,
242
00:10:56,242 --> 00:10:58,112
trying to start conversations
with people
243
00:10:58,113 --> 00:11:01,218
who are shoving things into
what feels like my rib cage
244
00:11:01,219 --> 00:11:02,922
and basically ignoring me.
245
00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:05,192
I saved all of your lives
from Other Barry,
246
00:11:05,193 --> 00:11:08,833
so will you please just
give me a goddamn hand?
247
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:11,405
Sorry, have we established
where this weird fridge
248
00:11:11,406 --> 00:11:13,409
came from
and why it talks like this?
249
00:11:13,410 --> 00:11:14,610
- Yes!
- Several times.
250
00:11:14,611 --> 00:11:17,283
- Repeatedly.
- But you're, like, kind of a pain to haul around.
251
00:11:17,284 --> 00:11:19,484
And we only brought you down
here because you begged us.
252
00:11:19,508 --> 00:11:22,494
We solved this last time.
Just take my circuits out.
253
00:11:22,495 --> 00:11:24,130
- Oh, right.
- Duh.
254
00:11:24,131 --> 00:11:26,302
Just put me on something
light with wheels.
255
00:11:27,839 --> 00:11:30,242
Yeah, not what I had in mind.
256
00:11:32,214 --> 00:11:33,917
And what did
you have in mind?
257
00:11:33,918 --> 00:11:35,052
Not this.
258
00:11:35,053 --> 00:11:37,958
- Pam, what's going on?
- It's not me.
259
00:11:37,959 --> 00:11:39,261
Jesus Christ,
what's the problem?
260
00:11:39,262 --> 00:11:43,369
- Uh, Jesus Christ?
- Oh, right.
261
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:48,279
Uh, not to be sacrilegious here,
but did anyone bring a chainsaw?
262
00:11:49,014 --> 00:11:52,220
Is it me, or did the gun
library used to have more guns?
263
00:11:52,221 --> 00:11:54,759
- It's called an armory.
- Ugh, fine.
264
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:58,032
Didn't the gun library
used to have more armory?
265
00:11:58,033 --> 00:12:01,471
Ooh, look, Cheryl, a clipboard.
It goes snap, snap.
266
00:12:01,472 --> 00:12:03,242
I know what you're doing.
I'm...
267
00:12:03,243 --> 00:12:06,783
Not... oh!
An idiot.
268
00:12:06,784 --> 00:12:08,085
Who can't...
269
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:12,293
So you've been
selling the guns, huh?
270
00:12:12,294 --> 00:12:14,865
Jeezy Petes, so are we really
in that bad of shape?
271
00:12:14,866 --> 00:12:17,170
Even if the UN doesn't ban us,
we might still go under?
272
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:19,842
- You're the accountant.
- And I'm starting to suspect
273
00:12:19,843 --> 00:12:21,879
the numbers you're giving me
aren't real.
274
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,560
Oh, really?
You don't think that the bribes
275
00:12:23,584 --> 00:12:26,155
and the hush money and the
payoffs from third world oligarchs
276
00:12:26,156 --> 00:12:29,394
- was recorded accurately?
- Well, I...
277
00:12:29,395 --> 00:12:31,899
oh, uh, yes?
278
00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:33,903
If you knew the amount
of lying and cheating
279
00:12:33,904 --> 00:12:36,074
and moral compromise
being the boss requires,
280
00:12:36,075 --> 00:12:38,145
you would all never stop
giving me cunnilingus.
281
00:12:38,146 --> 00:12:40,884
Well, if the offer is on the table...
282
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,045
Oh, no.
I dated you, remember?
283
00:12:42,069 --> 00:12:43,823
And even that big ass hog of yours
284
00:12:43,824 --> 00:12:46,094
didn't make up for your mouth
in more ways than one.
285
00:12:46,095 --> 00:12:48,198
You would apologize
to the bullet that killed you.
286
00:12:48,199 --> 00:12:50,136
Well, I'm sorry for being polite.
287
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:53,877
Oh, you just did it again!
Jesus Christ!
288
00:12:53,878 --> 00:12:56,248
Hit the gas, Pam.
289
00:12:56,249 --> 00:12:58,185
You know, if we use
the principle of leverage...
290
00:12:58,186 --> 00:13:00,022
Then we'll be here
all damn day.
291
00:13:00,023 --> 00:13:01,091
Floor it, Pam!
292
00:13:06,904 --> 00:13:08,204
Ow.
293
00:13:10,376 --> 00:13:11,879
Told you it would work.
294
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:13,850
Oh, I told myself
it would work.
295
00:13:13,851 --> 00:13:15,252
And then I clawed and I scraped
296
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:16,923
while you all
whined and complained,
297
00:13:16,924 --> 00:13:19,294
until when I finally closed
my tired eyes to sleep,
298
00:13:19,295 --> 00:13:22,400
all I could see were
your sour, crumpled faces.
299
00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:26,141
Uh, for the record, I wasn't
really around for any of that.
300
00:13:26,142 --> 00:13:28,112
Shut your goddamn
nonexistent mouth!
301
00:13:28,113 --> 00:13:30,383
I would say that we should
have sold you for parts,
302
00:13:30,384 --> 00:13:31,944
but you know what?
I'm glad we saved you
303
00:13:31,968 --> 00:13:33,890
because you finally
achieved your proper form,
304
00:13:33,891 --> 00:13:37,430
because now, you both literally
and figuratively suck!
305
00:13:37,431 --> 00:13:39,234
- Lana.
- What?!
306
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,539
There's writing
on Mr. Snappy that looks
307
00:13:41,540 --> 00:13:44,645
a lot like
the writing on the keys.
308
00:13:44,646 --> 00:13:47,250
Great, now we just need
to find Tom Sawyer.
309
00:13:47,251 --> 00:13:49,287
Anyone got the number
to Mark Twain's cemetery?
310
00:13:49,288 --> 00:13:51,191
Tom Sawyer? That's funny.
311
00:13:51,192 --> 00:13:53,162
It's also the name of a Rush song.
312
00:13:54,431 --> 00:13:57,003
Oh, you don't know that one?
It's the best.
313
00:13:57,004 --> 00:14:00,911
It goes... um, uh...
314
00:14:00,912 --> 00:14:05,052
I don't know how it goes.
315
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:07,658
I don't know how it goes.
316
00:14:07,659 --> 00:14:10,362
Oh, my God,
I don't know how it goes!
317
00:14:14,506 --> 00:14:16,308
- This is really it, huh?
- Yep.
318
00:14:16,309 --> 00:14:19,080
- Then it's back to Carnival.
- Oh, seriously?
319
00:14:19,081 --> 00:14:20,984
Everything will be fine.
It always is for me.
320
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:23,957
- I don't need anyone.
- This really how you want to go out?
321
00:14:23,958 --> 00:14:25,226
- Uh-huh.
- But it's us.
322
00:14:25,227 --> 00:14:27,263
There's nothing to discuss.
323
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,312
How could I forget that?
Something's wrong.
324
00:14:35,313 --> 00:14:37,584
Hey, it's OK. It's OK.
325
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:40,422
Unrelated, has anything weird
been happening?
326
00:14:40,423 --> 00:14:43,195
Like, more weird than
everything else about you.
327
00:14:43,196 --> 00:14:44,565
You know,
now that you mention it,
328
00:14:44,566 --> 00:14:47,136
these weird scars keep
showing up on my skull.
329
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,540
Huh.
330
00:14:48,541 --> 00:14:50,710
So we're just gonna...
331
00:14:50,711 --> 00:14:53,617
Search his lab immediately?
Yes.
332
00:14:54,719 --> 00:14:59,428
Hello!
You absolute turds.
333
00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:05,974
Slater?
You are the bag man?
334
00:15:05,975 --> 00:15:07,975
I thought it was appropriate
that your last mission
335
00:15:07,999 --> 00:15:10,249
before vanishing into
the dustbin of history
336
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,688
would be polishing
my glorious balls.
337
00:15:12,689 --> 00:15:15,159
Dude, I don't want to
be picturing your balls.
338
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,460
I won't be able to sleep tonight.
339
00:15:16,464 --> 00:15:18,566
Seriously?
You're still in the CIA
340
00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:21,739
after your catastrophic
fuck up in Manatina?
341
00:15:21,740 --> 00:15:24,277
Ha! Catastrophic?
For the CIA?
342
00:15:24,278 --> 00:15:26,248
They gave me
a commendation for that.
343
00:15:26,249 --> 00:15:29,120
So we don't like this guy.
Is that our vibe here?
344
00:15:29,121 --> 00:15:31,391
Keep it down, Glarey Poppins.
Act like your government.
345
00:15:31,392 --> 00:15:35,399
Stand behind the Americans and nod
while your influence steadily wanes.
346
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,200
Look, I'm gonna need
some kind of confirmation
347
00:15:37,224 --> 00:15:39,542
that this is official CIA business.
348
00:15:39,543 --> 00:15:41,679
Oh, sure.
Just, uh, hang on for a sec.
349
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,485
Hello, CIA?
350
00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:47,323
That Chinese weapon you're
stealing, are you stealing it?
351
00:15:47,324 --> 00:15:49,460
- Thanks.
- You don't do the phone bit.
352
00:15:49,461 --> 00:15:51,031
I do the phone bits.
353
00:15:51,032 --> 00:15:52,432
You know what?
That's a great point.
354
00:15:52,456 --> 00:15:57,176
And yet another example of me
doing everything you do, but better.
355
00:15:57,177 --> 00:16:02,019
- And, hey, Pam, my balls.
- Goddamn it!
356
00:16:02,020 --> 00:16:03,380
I just stopped thinking about them.
357
00:16:03,404 --> 00:16:07,029
- This feels very wrong.
- Glarey Poppins?!
358
00:16:07,030 --> 00:16:10,069
- I'll give him a spoonful of shit.
- I will, I will.
359
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:12,173
Problem, Lana.
360
00:16:12,174 --> 00:16:13,576
We're kind of busy here, OK?
So...
361
00:16:13,577 --> 00:16:15,580
Slater came to pick up the bomb.
362
00:16:15,581 --> 00:16:17,450
- What? That bitch?
- Right?
363
00:16:17,451 --> 00:16:19,087
Can you confirm he's in the CIA?
364
00:16:19,088 --> 00:16:21,124
Well, my only contact
was whoever hired us.
365
00:16:21,125 --> 00:16:22,628
And if they were pretending, I...
366
00:16:22,629 --> 00:16:25,600
Well, guess I'll just solve it
myself then, like always.
367
00:16:25,601 --> 00:16:29,073
All right, guys, we have no way of
knowing if he's on the level or not,
368
00:16:29,074 --> 00:16:31,144
so my thought is we just
stop worrying about it
369
00:16:31,145 --> 00:16:33,783
- and go look at some popo zau.
- Oh, my God, yes.
370
00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:36,121
Yes, I know I can't get
my job back at Interpol,
371
00:16:36,122 --> 00:16:37,762
but I need to know
if someone named Slater
372
00:16:37,786 --> 00:16:40,129
is still affiliated with the CIA.
373
00:16:40,130 --> 00:16:42,066
I guess it's a mononym?
374
00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:44,805
- Right. Thanks.
- Yeah, that sounded, uh...
375
00:16:44,806 --> 00:16:47,511
- Like we just got fucked?
- Royally.
376
00:16:47,512 --> 00:16:50,149
Slater was officially disavowed
by the CIA last month.
377
00:16:50,150 --> 00:16:52,550
But they didn't share that with
independent spy organizations
378
00:16:52,574 --> 00:16:54,625
because we're all about to not exist.
379
00:16:54,626 --> 00:16:56,094
I really wish you hadn't
told me that
380
00:16:56,095 --> 00:16:58,165
because now,
I have to destroy Slater.
381
00:16:58,166 --> 00:17:00,235
No way I'm going out like that
on my last mission.
382
00:17:00,236 --> 00:17:03,175
A-ha! So you admit
it's your last mission.
383
00:17:03,176 --> 00:17:05,680
Hey, no gloating during
rage-induced breakthroughs.
384
00:17:05,681 --> 00:17:07,216
What are you looking for now?
385
00:17:11,392 --> 00:17:12,511
Remember when I told you
386
00:17:12,512 --> 00:17:14,931
I found something cool
at the warehouse?
387
00:17:16,268 --> 00:17:19,023
I have no memory of this door.
388
00:17:23,416 --> 00:17:28,493
Oh, my God, it's beautiful!
389
00:17:31,432 --> 00:17:33,402
You have no idea
how to use that thing.
390
00:17:33,403 --> 00:17:35,840
I have no idea how to do
most of the stuff I do.
391
00:17:35,841 --> 00:17:38,412
- Are you sure you can catch up?
- Just give it a second.
392
00:17:38,413 --> 00:17:41,418
Think about Slater.
It's not enough for him to win.
393
00:17:44,826 --> 00:17:46,662
I gotta tell him.
394
00:17:46,663 --> 00:17:49,267
Hey, dummy,
bring me back around.
395
00:17:52,875 --> 00:17:54,410
This is nuts.
396
00:17:54,411 --> 00:17:58,452
Just
so you know, I'm not CIA anymore.
397
00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:01,157
Jetpa... ahh!
398
00:18:01,158 --> 00:18:04,330
- Speaking of nuts.
- God, watch the propeller!
399
00:18:04,331 --> 00:18:07,803
Watch the human sashimi maker?
Got it!
400
00:18:16,856 --> 00:18:18,156
Ah!
401
00:18:21,198 --> 00:18:22,834
A little help?
402
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,571
How?
I can't see what's happening.
403
00:18:24,572 --> 00:18:26,776
Uh, Ray, get the
reflection out of my eye.
404
00:18:26,777 --> 00:18:28,713
I can't see.
Wait a second.
405
00:18:28,714 --> 00:18:30,851
Pam, your mirrors!
406
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,573
Ugh. Oh!
407
00:19:07,457 --> 00:19:11,198
- Oh, my God, he did it.
- Yeah, but, uh...
408
00:19:15,841 --> 00:19:17,511
Cuidado, cuidado!
409
00:19:21,385 --> 00:19:23,468
- Jesus.
- Well, it's not like
410
00:19:23,469 --> 00:19:25,517
it's the worst thing
that ever happened to him.
411
00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:30,937
- I win again!
- You should have let it go.
412
00:19:30,938 --> 00:19:33,643
Let it go and miss this?
413
00:19:33,644 --> 00:19:36,715
Me, Sterling Archer,
beating you yet again?
414
00:19:36,716 --> 00:19:38,553
I'm so glad I didn't let it go.
415
00:19:38,554 --> 00:19:41,926
This is the best moment
of my life!
416
00:19:41,927 --> 00:19:45,399
- Why would I let it go?
- Why?
417
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,436
You're about to find out why.
418
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,665
- Katya?
- Sterling, my darling.
419
00:20:01,666 --> 00:20:05,840
- I ache to see you.
- Well, I'm aching too, Katya.
420
00:20:05,841 --> 00:20:07,611
And I... I have to ask
before we do
421
00:20:07,612 --> 00:20:10,483
what I think we're about to do.
Does it still vibrate?
422
00:20:10,484 --> 00:20:14,825
That is not the ache I mean.
I ache because I must do this.
423
00:20:19,334 --> 00:20:22,541
And, yes, it still vibrates.
424
00:20:28,486 --> 00:20:30,558
Sterling Archer.
425
00:20:30,559 --> 00:20:33,295
- Code name: Duchess...
- No one calls me that.
426
00:20:33,296 --> 00:20:36,702
Known from Berlin
to Bangkok as the man
427
00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:39,842
who used to be the world's
most dangerous spy.
428
00:20:39,843 --> 00:20:42,313
Used to be?
Take off these chains,
429
00:20:42,314 --> 00:20:43,674
and that potato
on top of your neck
430
00:20:43,698 --> 00:20:45,452
is gonna used to be a face.
431
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,423
Whoa, buddy.
No need for that stuff.
432
00:20:47,424 --> 00:20:50,295
- We all got job to do.
- And you're terrible at yours.
433
00:20:50,296 --> 00:20:51,999
These nipple clamps
are super pinch-y.
434
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,603
Very unprofessional.
435
00:20:53,604 --> 00:20:56,575
Is that really your
big problem right now?
436
00:20:56,576 --> 00:20:58,445
Yes, because I care
about the craft.
437
00:20:58,446 --> 00:20:59,982
Yeah, the goth teen witch movie.
438
00:20:59,983 --> 00:21:03,138
- No.
- OK, so anything to say
439
00:21:03,139 --> 00:21:04,591
before I give you zip-zap?
440
00:21:04,592 --> 00:21:06,962
- What, with that golf cart battery?
- Go-kart.
441
00:21:06,963 --> 00:21:10,269
And that's not for you.
My go-kart need repair.
442
00:21:11,539 --> 00:21:13,609
That's a big battery.
443
00:21:13,610 --> 00:21:16,715
Ah, fun fact: they use this
to jump-start trains.
444
00:21:16,716 --> 00:21:18,619
That's the least fun fact
I've ever heard.
445
00:21:18,620 --> 00:21:20,355
I don't know if I've said it, but, uh,
446
00:21:20,356 --> 00:21:21,716
it really is good
to see you again.
447
00:21:21,740 --> 00:21:24,342
Look, I get it. It's super
fun to trot out the battery
448
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:26,502
that supposedly
jump-starts trains.
449
00:21:26,503 --> 00:21:28,907
- And airplanes.
- But we all know that if you
450
00:21:28,908 --> 00:21:30,660
attach that to a human,
he would instantly die,
451
00:21:30,661 --> 00:21:34,067
rendering it useless as an
interrogation tool, ergo you're bluff...
452
00:21:36,890 --> 00:21:38,492
I'm sorry.
I interrupted you.
453
00:21:38,493 --> 00:21:39,862
Problem?
454
00:21:39,863 --> 00:21:43,769
Yeah, I just didn't think burning
nipples would smell like that.
455
00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:45,740
Well, maybe the smell
changes as we go.
456
00:21:45,741 --> 00:21:47,510
- What?
- Hit him again.
457
00:21:56,630 --> 00:21:58,933
So maybe I'm unclear on
the order of operations here,
458
00:21:58,934 --> 00:22:00,937
but did you have any questions?
459
00:22:00,938 --> 00:22:03,408
I just wanted you to know
that I'm serious.
460
00:22:03,409 --> 00:22:05,009
You know, Slater,
a sternly worded letter
461
00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:07,551
- could do wonders.
- Rest up, Archer.
462
00:22:07,552 --> 00:22:09,387
I'd hate for you to die
when I do that again.
463
00:22:09,388 --> 00:22:10,828
I'd hate
both parts of that.
464
00:22:10,852 --> 00:22:12,092
Love to hear it.
465
00:22:12,093 --> 00:22:14,765
Get up, you wimp.
466
00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:17,938
OK.
Take inventory of the room.
467
00:22:17,939 --> 00:22:19,942
Find the tools. Improvise.
468
00:22:19,943 --> 00:22:22,714
I think one of those clamps
melted and fused into my nipple.
469
00:22:22,715 --> 00:22:24,417
But don't worry about that.
470
00:22:24,418 --> 00:22:25,587
And don't worry
about talking to yourself.
471
00:22:25,588 --> 00:22:27,524
That's not a symptom
of a brain injury,
472
00:22:27,525 --> 00:22:29,728
though you might not
remember if it is.
473
00:22:29,729 --> 00:22:33,401
Sterling, my darling,
what did they do to you?
474
00:22:33,402 --> 00:22:35,573
I quiver with sympathy.
475
00:22:35,574 --> 00:22:38,144
Do... don't say "quiver"
in that sexy voice.
476
00:22:38,145 --> 00:22:40,550
If my nipples get hard, uh,
I might die.
477
00:22:40,551 --> 00:22:44,825
I am so sorry.
It is just that seeing you like this...
478
00:22:44,826 --> 00:22:47,429
I did not know I could cry.
479
00:22:47,430 --> 00:22:52,072
- My cheeks are wet.
- I'm gonna pass out now.
480
00:22:54,111 --> 00:22:56,147
So... what are we doing?
481
00:22:56,148 --> 00:22:58,118
Wait, wasn't there
some kind of UN thingy?
482
00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:02,827
- How's that going?
- This is the best moment of my life.
483
00:23:05,433 --> 00:23:09,006
I said, how's that going?
484
00:23:09,007 --> 00:23:12,146
Wait, am I invisible?
What's the sound version of that?
485
00:23:12,147 --> 00:23:16,120
In... visible.
No, I just said that.
486
00:23:16,121 --> 00:23:18,559
Look, I am working my network.
487
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,598
- I am invisible.
- If only.
488
00:23:21,599 --> 00:23:23,279
The UN vote on banning
private spy agencies
489
00:23:23,303 --> 00:23:25,707
is in two days, but that's
more than enough time to...
490
00:23:25,708 --> 00:23:28,779
Not what we're talking about.
And it's going to be fine.
491
00:23:28,780 --> 00:23:31,885
- We've just got to find Archer.
- Look, I've got feelers out.
492
00:23:31,886 --> 00:23:34,624
Just like those
brine shrimp cats I made.
493
00:23:34,625 --> 00:23:37,088
- Or didn't.
- Krieger, did you figure out
494
00:23:37,089 --> 00:23:38,632
what that weird thing
we found was?
495
00:23:41,038 --> 00:23:43,141
No, but I have determined
that it's creepy
496
00:23:43,142 --> 00:23:46,882
- and possibly gross.
- So we've got, like, zero chance
497
00:23:46,883 --> 00:23:49,153
of finding Archer here, right,
or the bomb?
498
00:23:49,154 --> 00:23:50,874
- Yeah, probably.
- Yeah, that sounds right.
499
00:23:50,898 --> 00:23:54,731
- Did I hear the word "bomb"?
- Hey! No! Just no!
500
00:23:54,732 --> 00:23:56,669
- Yeah, but why no?
- Or how no?
501
00:23:56,670 --> 00:23:59,040
I don't know.
But we are not gonna sit here
502
00:23:59,041 --> 00:24:00,943
and stew in our failure juice.
503
00:24:00,944 --> 00:24:02,781
There's a loose bunker buster
out there.
504
00:24:02,782 --> 00:24:04,518
Do we know who has it?
No.
505
00:24:04,519 --> 00:24:06,922
Do we know where Archer is
or even if he's alive? No.
506
00:24:06,923 --> 00:24:08,659
Are we getting some
pretty awkward inquiries
507
00:24:08,660 --> 00:24:10,797
about our activities in Brazil?
Yes.
508
00:24:10,798 --> 00:24:12,567
See how she just slid
the bad news in there?
509
00:24:12,568 --> 00:24:14,538
Like a greased toboggan.
510
00:24:14,539 --> 00:24:16,542
The rest of our lives
may be doomed and empty,
511
00:24:16,543 --> 00:24:18,646
but, by God, we are going
to live the fuck
512
00:24:18,647 --> 00:24:21,184
out of these last few days
of doing what we are best at,
513
00:24:21,185 --> 00:24:23,689
what we were put
on this Earth to do.
514
00:24:23,690 --> 00:24:26,929
Krieger, figure out that orb.
Barry, help him.
515
00:24:26,930 --> 00:24:29,668
You are made of computer
or whatever.
516
00:24:29,669 --> 00:24:32,674
The rest of you, get me some
plausible bunker buster targets.
517
00:24:32,675 --> 00:24:34,544
Someone wants to use it
for some evil shit,
518
00:24:34,545 --> 00:24:35,947
and we are gonna
stop that evil shit
519
00:24:35,948 --> 00:24:38,786
because that is what we do!
520
00:24:40,991 --> 00:24:42,560
Sploosh.
521
00:24:42,561 --> 00:24:43,963
I'm sorry.
522
00:24:43,964 --> 00:24:45,833
Slater said he wouldn't torture you.
523
00:24:45,834 --> 00:24:48,973
Well, I appreciate that.
It was incredibly painful,
524
00:24:48,974 --> 00:24:51,210
especially after someone shot me!
525
00:24:51,211 --> 00:24:55,019
Oh, Sterling, you're delirious.
That was me.
526
00:24:55,855 --> 00:24:58,224
You guys have a
4:00 p.m. dinner special here?
527
00:24:58,225 --> 00:25:01,230
What is this place?
Other than a KGB black site.
528
00:25:01,231 --> 00:25:03,702
Abandoned KGB black site.
529
00:25:03,703 --> 00:25:05,238
We've gathered allies
from every
530
00:25:05,239 --> 00:25:07,109
secret intelligence service
in the world.
531
00:25:07,110 --> 00:25:10,850
Retired, mostly.
So, yes, they are seasoned.
532
00:25:10,851 --> 00:25:14,558
We call ourselves... Silverwolf.
533
00:25:14,559 --> 00:25:16,260
Big evil supervillain plan.
Got it.
534
00:25:16,261 --> 00:25:18,833
So what are you gonna do,
blow up Pluto?
535
00:25:18,834 --> 00:25:20,154
Poison all the money
in the world?
536
00:25:20,178 --> 00:25:22,394
Some kind of giant
mystery thing that turns
537
00:25:22,395 --> 00:25:24,611
out to be an anticlimactic
real estate scam?
538
00:25:24,612 --> 00:25:27,717
Oh, no.
539
00:25:27,718 --> 00:25:29,621
We're not here
to destroy the world.
540
00:25:29,622 --> 00:25:31,124
We're here to save it.
541
00:25:31,125 --> 00:25:35,199
And you, my Sterling,
are going to help us.
542
00:25:36,001 --> 00:25:38,606
And how exactly
does this help?
543
00:25:38,607 --> 00:25:40,977
Well, first, I'm gonna
get you hooked up here.
544
00:25:42,915 --> 00:25:45,853
Oh, this isn't an improvement.
545
00:25:45,854 --> 00:25:48,291
Huh, must be some residual
programming in there.
546
00:25:48,292 --> 00:25:51,264
Yeah, there's definitely some
residue in here, I would say.
547
00:25:51,265 --> 00:25:53,301
So I created a buffer
between you and the device
548
00:25:53,302 --> 00:25:55,640
so you can observe
the sphere's programming
549
00:25:55,641 --> 00:25:58,646
without contamination,
which will manifest
550
00:25:58,647 --> 00:26:00,983
as these kickass cyberpunk goggles.
551
00:26:00,984 --> 00:26:04,123
You'll be goggled in with the
wireheads for sure, choomba.
552
00:26:04,124 --> 00:26:05,760
And these will protect me?
553
00:26:05,761 --> 00:26:07,241
- I don't know.
- What does that mean?
554
00:26:07,242 --> 00:26:08,377
What do you want from me?
555
00:26:08,378 --> 00:26:10,001
Science isn't an exact science.
556
00:26:10,002 --> 00:26:12,907
- Oh, my God.
- There is no God here.
557
00:26:12,908 --> 00:26:14,678
Anyhoo...
558
00:26:15,747 --> 00:26:17,249
Ohhhhhh.
559
00:26:19,822 --> 00:26:21,692
You're trying to bring back
the Cold War?
560
00:26:21,693 --> 00:26:23,796
No, of course not.
561
00:26:23,797 --> 00:26:26,702
- But... yes.
- Yeah, I get it.
562
00:26:26,703 --> 00:26:28,743
I mean, who doesn't love
the constant looming threat
563
00:26:28,767 --> 00:26:29,808
of nuclear annihilation?
564
00:26:29,809 --> 00:26:31,712
Look at the world
that we live in.
565
00:26:31,713 --> 00:26:34,150
All these piddling
minor conflicts.
566
00:26:34,151 --> 00:26:37,055
All this peace
and money and... phones.
567
00:26:37,056 --> 00:26:38,792
So things were better
when they were worse?
568
00:26:38,793 --> 00:26:42,366
Exactly. This is becoming
a world without purpose,
569
00:26:42,367 --> 00:26:46,942
without meaning,
and without Sterling Archer.
570
00:26:46,943 --> 00:26:48,979
The U.S. government
will be voting yes
571
00:26:48,980 --> 00:26:51,718
on the proposal
to ban private spy agencies.
572
00:26:51,719 --> 00:26:53,789
We urge the world to join us.
573
00:26:53,790 --> 00:26:57,830
And in the words of my people,
how 'bout them Cowboys?
574
00:26:57,831 --> 00:27:00,402
Uh, there probably
won't even be more war.
575
00:27:00,403 --> 00:27:03,007
It'll be a staring contest.
576
00:27:03,008 --> 00:27:05,847
But the conflict will energize us
577
00:27:05,848 --> 00:27:07,817
and make us strong
and give us meaning.
578
00:27:07,818 --> 00:27:10,690
In a frictionless universe,
nothing happens.
579
00:27:10,691 --> 00:27:13,696
And you, uh... who even
are you in that world?
580
00:27:13,697 --> 00:27:18,806
That's ridiculous. I, uh...
do not have a counterargument.
581
00:27:18,807 --> 00:27:20,687
But what does that
have to do with torturing me?
582
00:27:20,711 --> 00:27:22,379
Slater and I,
we have, uh, mm,
583
00:27:22,380 --> 00:27:24,951
differences of opinion
sometimes.
584
00:27:24,952 --> 00:27:27,824
Sterling, it might not be now,
but sometime soon,
585
00:27:27,825 --> 00:27:29,728
you're going to have
to make a decision.
586
00:27:29,729 --> 00:27:33,434
One world includes you,
and the other does not.
587
00:27:33,435 --> 00:27:36,274
And... I have missed you.
588
00:27:36,275 --> 00:27:38,278
- You have?
- Katya, what the hell?
589
00:27:38,279 --> 00:27:40,750
- We talked about this.
- Yes, we did.
590
00:27:40,751 --> 00:27:42,854
Can I speak to you outside?
591
00:27:42,855 --> 00:27:44,223
Did she give you the pitch?
592
00:27:44,224 --> 00:27:46,093
She's right.
You should join us.
593
00:27:47,731 --> 00:27:50,035
But unfortunately,
we don't let dead men join,
594
00:27:50,036 --> 00:27:54,143
so that may hinder
your onboarding process.
595
00:27:55,313 --> 00:27:59,253
This is about to be unpleasant.
596
00:28:04,799 --> 00:28:06,167
All right, where am I?
597
00:28:06,168 --> 00:28:07,870
Where am I?
598
00:28:07,871 --> 00:28:09,206
Phone, phone,
where's the phone?
599
00:28:10,811 --> 00:28:13,375
Use the tool you have, I guess.
600
00:28:16,454 --> 00:28:18,792
Why is everybody looking at me?
601
00:28:18,793 --> 00:28:22,065
You're presenting the candidates
for a bunker buster target?
602
00:28:22,066 --> 00:28:24,303
Because you're our
demolitions expert.
603
00:28:24,304 --> 00:28:26,908
- Oh, cool.
- Is she getting worse?
604
00:28:26,909 --> 00:28:30,448
- I mean, could she?
- So it's a helix-type shaped charge
605
00:28:30,449 --> 00:28:33,454
capable of penetrating 30 to
40 feet of reinforced concrete
606
00:28:33,455 --> 00:28:37,029
with enhanced shockwave propagation
through the next hundred.
607
00:28:37,030 --> 00:28:39,934
What kind of facility would
need 40 feet of protection?
608
00:28:39,935 --> 00:28:41,455
We're looking
at nuclear missile sites,
609
00:28:41,479 --> 00:28:43,474
deep mine facilities, NORAD.
610
00:28:43,475 --> 00:28:45,345
The problem is,
there's too many of 'em.
611
00:28:45,346 --> 00:28:46,915
So, what, dead end?
612
00:28:46,916 --> 00:28:48,953
Unless we get some kind
of message from God.
613
00:29:03,015 --> 00:29:06,120
"Ha! Ha! I'm alive, you dorks!"
614
00:29:07,825 --> 00:29:11,130
"No thanks to you, as I said, dorks.
615
00:29:11,131 --> 00:29:14,336
I'm going to do this by myself."
616
00:29:14,337 --> 00:29:16,497
Seriously, you're not even
gonna tell us where you are?
617
00:29:16,521 --> 00:29:20,348
Whoo!
618
00:29:20,349 --> 00:29:22,954
Whoa!
619
00:29:28,332 --> 00:29:30,368
Whoo-hoo!
620
00:29:30,369 --> 00:29:32,139
"Just kidding.
I'm in Sochi.
621
00:29:32,140 --> 00:29:33,141
Meet you here."
622
00:29:36,381 --> 00:29:37,382
"Dorks."
623
00:29:38,887 --> 00:29:41,424
Whoo-hoo!
624
00:29:41,425 --> 00:29:44,695
I am eternal!
Whoo!
625
00:29:52,297 --> 00:29:55,068
So do we know when the stewardess
is coming by or whenever?
626
00:29:55,069 --> 00:29:59,043
- There is no stewardess.
- Fine. Flight attendant.
627
00:29:59,044 --> 00:30:00,012
We can't fly commercial
because we're not supposed
628
00:30:00,013 --> 00:30:03,151
- to be leaving the country.
- Well, if we pull this off,
629
00:30:03,152 --> 00:30:04,788
maybe they'll let us
continue to exist.
630
00:30:04,789 --> 00:30:07,192
Save the world
to save ourselves.
631
00:30:07,193 --> 00:30:09,331
Hey, you
all comfortable back here?
632
00:30:09,332 --> 00:30:11,468
- Nope.
- Great, great, great.
633
00:30:11,469 --> 00:30:13,237
Didn't care anyway.
And it's about to get worse.
634
00:30:13,238 --> 00:30:14,908
We'll be coming up over land,
635
00:30:14,909 --> 00:30:16,978
so I'll have to hug the ground
to stay under radar.
636
00:30:16,979 --> 00:30:19,183
Need anything else to hug
while you're at it?
637
00:30:19,184 --> 00:30:20,586
Negative.
638
00:30:20,587 --> 00:30:22,122
- All right.
- So that's her type.
639
00:30:22,123 --> 00:30:23,992
But before I do that,
I need to know,
640
00:30:23,993 --> 00:30:25,830
what's that doohickey?
641
00:30:25,831 --> 00:30:27,967
Because if I'm carrying
some kind of chemical agent
642
00:30:27,968 --> 00:30:30,205
or radioactive whatever
over several countries
643
00:30:30,206 --> 00:30:32,443
in violation of international law,
644
00:30:32,444 --> 00:30:34,514
I'd kind of like to know about it.
645
00:30:34,515 --> 00:30:36,852
It might be nothing,
or it might be the thing
646
00:30:36,853 --> 00:30:39,123
that will save us all.
647
00:30:39,124 --> 00:30:41,360
Or it might be
of medium importance.
648
00:30:41,361 --> 00:30:43,264
I'm just gonna stand here
and blink at you
649
00:30:43,265 --> 00:30:45,135
and wait for you
to get less stupid.
650
00:30:45,136 --> 00:30:49,343
- This is the Barry Matrix.
- Uh-huh.
651
00:30:49,344 --> 00:30:52,984
It contains the root consciousness
of the being known as Barry.
652
00:30:52,985 --> 00:30:56,290
OK, I'll bite.
Who's Barry?
653
00:30:56,291 --> 00:30:58,161
- That's me.
- Hi.
654
00:30:58,162 --> 00:31:00,398
Well, I don't want to know
any more about this,
655
00:31:00,399 --> 00:31:03,237
so I'm gonna go back to the cockpit.
One question.
656
00:31:03,238 --> 00:31:06,243
My copilot, does he always
sing when he flies?
657
00:31:06,244 --> 00:31:09,884
♪ He's a real pilot,
and he's flying the plane ♪
658
00:31:09,885 --> 00:31:12,289
Yeah, I think
you make him nervous.
659
00:31:12,290 --> 00:31:14,259
Yeah, well, a lot of this
makes me nervous.
660
00:31:14,260 --> 00:31:17,265
Not you.
That's a... cute dress.
661
00:31:17,266 --> 00:31:19,002
- Okey dokey.
- Interesting.
662
00:31:19,003 --> 00:31:20,643
Wait a second,
you still haven't explained
663
00:31:20,667 --> 00:31:22,443
why you had the Barry Matrix.
664
00:31:22,444 --> 00:31:24,581
Well, I can't say exactly,
but I've managed
665
00:31:24,582 --> 00:31:27,653
to piece together some of my
partially destroyed notes.
666
00:31:27,654 --> 00:31:30,559
Apparently, I started taking
night jobs for shady people
667
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:32,400
- and then drugging myself...
- Whatever.
668
00:31:32,424 --> 00:31:34,434
None of that matters, OK?
What matters is...
669
00:31:34,435 --> 00:31:36,638
That I am the
absolute best at everything
670
00:31:36,639 --> 00:31:38,442
and I have defied death itself.
671
00:31:38,443 --> 00:31:40,378
I feel like someone
should sit you down
672
00:31:40,379 --> 00:31:43,050
- and explain hubris to you.
- Like I would listen.
673
00:31:43,051 --> 00:31:46,056
So all that research you guys did,
is there anything near here
674
00:31:46,057 --> 00:31:47,994
that qualifies as a target
for the bunker buster?
675
00:31:47,995 --> 00:31:49,931
There's a few nuclear facilities,
676
00:31:49,932 --> 00:31:53,070
maybe a base or two,
but still too many to be sure.
677
00:31:53,071 --> 00:31:54,871
And if they're trying
to restart the Cold War,
678
00:31:54,895 --> 00:31:57,480
- what would do that?
- Well, let's find out.
679
00:31:57,481 --> 00:32:00,084
Pam, Cyril, Cheryl,
go to that KGB black site
680
00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:01,455
to look for clues.
681
00:32:01,456 --> 00:32:03,256
They likely abandoned it
after Archer escaped.
682
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,629
Secondary objective:
see if you can find my left nipple.
683
00:32:05,630 --> 00:32:07,934
Krieger, figure out how to
get Barry into your prototype.
684
00:32:07,935 --> 00:32:09,604
If Katya's around,
we're gonna need him.
685
00:32:09,605 --> 00:32:11,307
Ray, steal us a car.
686
00:32:11,308 --> 00:32:13,211
Why would you think
I know how to do that?
687
00:32:13,212 --> 00:32:15,449
Because all rednecks
know how to hot-wire cars.
688
00:32:15,450 --> 00:32:17,954
Yeah, 'cause it's so damn fun.
689
00:32:17,955 --> 00:32:21,026
- I'll get you a car.
- And the rest of us?
690
00:32:21,027 --> 00:32:22,630
Sochi is a playground
for Russia's rich.
691
00:32:22,631 --> 00:32:24,333
Archer, Zara, and I
will hit the casino
692
00:32:24,334 --> 00:32:26,203
to see if there are
any dignitaries in town.
693
00:32:26,204 --> 00:32:27,844
Maybe they're going after
important people
694
00:32:27,868 --> 00:32:29,109
to start the Cold War.
695
00:32:29,110 --> 00:32:30,446
- Any questions?
- Yeah.
696
00:32:30,447 --> 00:32:33,652
Is there a reason this safe house
sucks absolute turbo dog shit?
697
00:32:33,653 --> 00:32:36,525
Yeah, uh, we're out of money.
They froze our assets.
698
00:32:36,526 --> 00:32:37,994
I tried to move some out,
699
00:32:37,995 --> 00:32:39,631
but, ugh, obviously,
it wasn't much.
700
00:32:39,632 --> 00:32:41,601
So this is really happening, huh?
701
00:32:41,602 --> 00:32:44,607
- No more us?
- Hey, it's OK, all right?
702
00:32:44,608 --> 00:32:47,245
Uh, let's say theoretically...
not that I want this to happen,
703
00:32:47,246 --> 00:32:50,519
but theoretically... we lose
and there's another Cold War?
704
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,389
Just another
staring contest, probably.
705
00:32:52,390 --> 00:32:55,996
But wouldn't there be a place
for us in that world?
706
00:32:58,202 --> 00:33:01,006
All right, everybody.
Let's fucking go.
707
00:33:11,795 --> 00:33:14,333
Why did we do it this way?
I'm great at gambling.
708
00:33:14,334 --> 00:33:16,203
Yeah, and I handle the money.
709
00:33:16,204 --> 00:33:19,376
This sucks so much for you.
710
00:33:19,377 --> 00:33:21,548
- Um, you're here too.
- Oh, right.
711
00:33:21,549 --> 00:33:23,417
Spread out, ding-dongs.
712
00:33:23,418 --> 00:33:24,654
And make it last, all right?
713
00:33:24,655 --> 00:33:26,255
We're here to look
for intel, not gamble.
714
00:33:26,279 --> 00:33:28,294
Ooh, with these minimums,
we might not last long.
715
00:33:28,295 --> 00:33:30,852
Are you kidding me? Gambling
is one of the many things
716
00:33:30,876 --> 00:33:32,703
I'm literally the best in the world at.
717
00:33:32,704 --> 00:33:36,176
No, no, no!
These dice are loaded!
718
00:33:36,177 --> 00:33:38,014
I demand an independent arbiter!
719
00:33:38,015 --> 00:33:39,651
I didn't want to play anyway!
720
00:33:41,154 --> 00:33:45,295
All right, this is your home, Cyril.
Papers in an office.
721
00:33:45,296 --> 00:33:47,299
This is where you shine and...
722
00:33:47,300 --> 00:33:50,038
ah, what do you know?
There's the nipple.
723
00:33:50,039 --> 00:33:53,311
Because this is all I need.
724
00:33:53,312 --> 00:33:56,317
My luck is turning,
and it is palpable, my friends.
725
00:33:56,318 --> 00:33:58,722
I've never felt so alive!
726
00:33:58,723 --> 00:34:01,461
Did you, uh, forget
that she's a gambling addict?
727
00:34:01,462 --> 00:34:05,068
- You know what? I did.
- Oh, well. Let's go to the bar.
728
00:34:05,069 --> 00:34:07,038
Hey, think I got
something here.
729
00:34:07,039 --> 00:34:08,742
Found a name
with background info.
730
00:34:08,743 --> 00:34:10,078
Looks like our target.
731
00:34:10,079 --> 00:34:12,349
Nice work, Cyril.
Meet back at the entrance.
732
00:34:12,350 --> 00:34:14,487
I've got one more room
to sweep.
733
00:34:14,488 --> 00:34:17,325
- Hey, buddy.
- Uh, hi?
734
00:34:17,326 --> 00:34:20,298
Mm, I assume you are
Archer comrade, yes?
735
00:34:20,299 --> 00:34:21,601
I was actually just leaving.
736
00:34:21,602 --> 00:34:25,709
Oh, that's too bad.
You actually were not.
737
00:34:25,710 --> 00:34:29,450
We will reconvene tomorrow for
our vote on private spy agencies.
738
00:34:29,451 --> 00:34:32,188
And may they be wiped
from this Earth.
739
00:34:32,189 --> 00:34:33,625
Isn't he supposed
to be impartial?
740
00:34:33,626 --> 00:34:35,763
I think that is the
impartial view at this point.
741
00:34:35,764 --> 00:34:37,433
So what are you gonna do?
742
00:34:37,434 --> 00:34:40,171
I'm gonna finish this mission.
What are you gonna do?
743
00:34:40,172 --> 00:34:41,508
Well, I'm gonna finish
this drink.
744
00:34:42,844 --> 00:34:46,250
- All right, let's go find Zara.
- What's this?
745
00:34:46,251 --> 00:34:47,352
I don't know.
I haven't even read it.
746
00:34:47,353 --> 00:34:50,224
"Sterling, I figured you'd escape,
so I planted this on you.
747
00:34:50,225 --> 00:34:52,195
"It is for the best.
Slater would have killed you.
748
00:34:52,196 --> 00:34:54,567
"But I want you to return
to me, help me kill Slater,
749
00:34:54,568 --> 00:34:56,738
"and we will run
Silverwolf together.
750
00:34:56,739 --> 00:35:00,244
Partners, spies, lovers for good."
751
00:35:00,245 --> 00:35:03,184
That was...
more than I expected.
752
00:35:03,185 --> 00:35:05,145
Oh, come on, you're not
actually considering that.
753
00:35:05,169 --> 00:35:08,260
Of course I'm considering
it, Lana. I just heard it.
754
00:35:08,261 --> 00:35:09,530
That's what brains do
when you hear something,
755
00:35:09,531 --> 00:35:11,200
especially when you've
just been offered
756
00:35:11,201 --> 00:35:12,637
everything you want in life.
757
00:35:12,638 --> 00:35:14,272
Archer, you'd really
make the world worse
758
00:35:14,273 --> 00:35:17,112
- so it was better for you?
- Who says it'd be worse?
759
00:35:17,113 --> 00:35:19,116
Deep down, I know
you would never do that.
760
00:35:19,117 --> 00:35:22,155
Well, deep down, you've always
thought too highly of me.
761
00:35:22,156 --> 00:35:25,128
- I am gonna go get Zara.
- Tell her I said hi.
762
00:35:27,434 --> 00:35:30,806
- Blackjack, for the lady.
- Go on, have it!
763
00:35:30,807 --> 00:35:32,476
Suck it! Suck it!
764
00:35:32,477 --> 00:35:33,779
Suck it!
765
00:35:33,780 --> 00:35:36,551
Come, we go.
Place is going to blow up soon
766
00:35:36,552 --> 00:35:37,820
to eliminate evidence.
767
00:35:39,123 --> 00:35:40,826
I do not like to fight lady.
768
00:35:41,896 --> 00:35:44,166
But since you insist,
769
00:35:44,167 --> 00:35:47,305
did I ever tell you how
I become KGB enforcer?
770
00:35:47,306 --> 00:35:49,176
We literally just met.
771
00:35:49,177 --> 00:35:53,417
I was in gulag in Siberia
for, mm, series of crime.
772
00:35:53,418 --> 00:35:55,556
Warden of prison went insane.
773
00:35:55,557 --> 00:35:58,729
He opened all
the cell doors and said,
774
00:35:58,730 --> 00:36:02,168
one man will walk out
of this prison alive.
775
00:36:02,169 --> 00:36:04,774
And I was that man.
776
00:36:04,775 --> 00:36:07,412
This is gonna be good.
777
00:36:08,582 --> 00:36:10,719
Whoo-hoo!
778
00:36:10,720 --> 00:36:13,925
Excuse me, miss. We would
be honored if you'd join us
779
00:36:13,926 --> 00:36:15,863
in our high-roller room.
780
00:36:15,864 --> 00:36:20,171
- Let's do it, baby.
- Uh, I'm with her.
781
00:36:20,172 --> 00:36:23,378
Whoa, this is, like, every
military attaché and negotiator
782
00:36:23,379 --> 00:36:26,584
in every Chinese and Russian
briefing book I ever had.
783
00:36:26,585 --> 00:36:28,622
Can I?
Oh, oh, oh, can I?
784
00:36:28,623 --> 00:36:30,324
You did good, kid.
Go gamble.
785
00:36:30,325 --> 00:36:32,730
Let's roll them bones.
786
00:36:32,731 --> 00:36:33,932
OK, let's see.
787
00:36:33,933 --> 00:36:35,569
So we know
who they're targeting,
788
00:36:35,570 --> 00:36:37,873
but how do we find out
where they're targeting?
789
00:36:37,874 --> 00:36:39,477
I... I could plant a bug.
790
00:36:39,478 --> 00:36:44,219
Maybe I steal a
chauffeur's uniform. Or...
791
00:36:50,767 --> 00:36:54,507
Hey, I...
I don't want to fight no more.
792
00:36:54,508 --> 00:36:56,578
Me neither.
793
00:36:56,579 --> 00:36:59,484
OK?
We stop on three, OK?
794
00:36:59,485 --> 00:37:01,788
- One...
- Two...
795
00:37:01,789 --> 00:37:03,390
Three.
796
00:37:03,391 --> 00:37:05,796
Huh, I guess we could've just
always done that.
797
00:37:05,797 --> 00:37:08,468
- Da.
- Let's get the hell out of here.
798
00:37:08,469 --> 00:37:11,340
Well, hello there.
799
00:37:13,446 --> 00:37:14,781
Hey. Hey, you.
800
00:37:14,782 --> 00:37:18,354
I would like to have sex...
with you.
801
00:37:18,355 --> 00:37:21,260
Give me the phone number
of where you are staying.
802
00:37:21,261 --> 00:37:23,765
No! This is the
greatest streak in history.
803
00:37:23,766 --> 00:37:25,936
It can't end now.
Just give me one more chip.
804
00:37:25,937 --> 00:37:28,340
One more chip.
805
00:37:33,986 --> 00:37:35,923
- Was that me?
- No, that was me.
806
00:37:35,924 --> 00:37:39,262
Oh, OK.
Do I know him?
807
00:37:39,263 --> 00:37:43,538
Archer? Archer?
Archer.
808
00:37:43,539 --> 00:37:44,607
Archer!
809
00:37:44,608 --> 00:37:47,312
God damn it.
810
00:37:51,942 --> 00:37:54,781
Gregaro Ivanovidovich
He's our guy.
811
00:37:54,782 --> 00:37:56,484
Structural engineering professor
812
00:37:56,485 --> 00:37:59,322
who also designed the Sochi dam
that opened last year.
813
00:37:59,323 --> 00:38:01,694
So they're gonna use this guy
plus the bunker buster
814
00:38:01,695 --> 00:38:03,398
to, what, blow up the dam?
815
00:38:03,399 --> 00:38:04,834
Sure looks that way.
816
00:38:04,835 --> 00:38:06,755
Kill the Chinese and Russian
delegations with it.
817
00:38:06,756 --> 00:38:08,356
Hey, what about
that phone number you got
818
00:38:08,380 --> 00:38:09,677
from the Russian general?
819
00:38:09,678 --> 00:38:11,781
Well, if we stop Silverwolf
from taking the professor,
820
00:38:11,782 --> 00:38:13,462
we'll have the credibility
for the Russians
821
00:38:13,463 --> 00:38:14,999
and the Chinese
to actually believe us.
822
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,660
So they want to kill
the Russians and the Chinese
823
00:38:17,661 --> 00:38:19,296
and blame America?
824
00:38:19,297 --> 00:38:21,401
And I bet Slater knows
exactly how to do that.
825
00:38:21,402 --> 00:38:22,703
Jesus.
826
00:38:22,704 --> 00:38:25,709
Shit, Ray, think you could've
stolen a car with actual shocks?
827
00:38:25,710 --> 00:38:27,980
Well, I couldn't exactly
give it a test-drive,
828
00:38:27,981 --> 00:38:29,550
you ungrateful...
829
00:38:29,551 --> 00:38:32,923
- Ah. So where's Archer?
- I don't know.
830
00:38:32,924 --> 00:38:35,362
He got a letter from Katya. I...
I think...
831
00:38:35,363 --> 00:38:38,902
- You think he's been compromised?
- No way. No... way.
832
00:38:38,903 --> 00:38:42,342
I mean... some way.
833
00:38:42,343 --> 00:38:44,312
We can't assume
anything right now.
834
00:38:44,313 --> 00:38:46,016
We're gonna have
to do this without him.
835
00:38:46,017 --> 00:38:47,987
Hey, let's not
get distracted, team.
836
00:38:47,988 --> 00:38:50,459
Let's just grab Gregaro
before Silverwolf does.
837
00:38:50,460 --> 00:38:51,895
Oh-ho, sure.
838
00:38:51,896 --> 00:38:54,534
Just gonna slide
right into his spot, huh, Zara?
839
00:38:54,535 --> 00:38:57,673
Oh, lay off. It's not like
he never abandoned us before.
840
00:38:57,674 --> 00:39:00,679
After Katya died?
Come on!
841
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:03,919
- Give the guy a break.
- OK, now I'm confused.
842
00:39:06,492 --> 00:39:08,428
It doesn't matter!
843
00:39:08,429 --> 00:39:10,999
What matters is that we do
our jobs and save the world,
844
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,572
and that's only gonna happen
if we stick together.
845
00:39:13,573 --> 00:39:16,411
God damn it, Ray!
846
00:39:18,416 --> 00:39:20,652
Who here speaks English?
847
00:39:20,653 --> 00:39:22,756
Wow.
Thanks, cultural imperialism.
848
00:39:22,757 --> 00:39:25,930
We're here to prevent
a kidnapping. Pam, Zara.
849
00:39:26,732 --> 00:39:30,672
Um, it sure seems like
you are kidnapping me.
850
00:39:30,673 --> 00:39:31,908
We're really not.
851
00:39:31,909 --> 00:39:35,047
I would like to emphasize that we
are definitely not kidnapping him.
852
00:39:35,048 --> 00:39:37,887
We are taking him
to a safe, secret location.
853
00:39:37,888 --> 00:39:39,590
Sounds like kidnapping.
854
00:39:39,591 --> 00:39:41,928
So there's important
but subtle differences
855
00:39:41,929 --> 00:39:44,400
between what we're doing
and kidnapping,
856
00:39:44,401 --> 00:39:45,802
and, obviously, I don't have time
857
00:39:45,803 --> 00:39:47,840
to go into those in the middle of...
858
00:39:47,841 --> 00:39:50,946
- what looks like a kidnapping.
- Thank you, everyone.
859
00:39:50,947 --> 00:39:51,981
Have a good night.
860
00:39:53,486 --> 00:39:56,658
Hey, I don't want to jinx it,
but all in all, not that hard.
861
00:40:00,767 --> 00:40:02,903
Oh, damn.
That's really smart.
862
00:40:02,904 --> 00:40:05,007
- What?
- We're part of the plan.
863
00:40:05,008 --> 00:40:07,646
Oh, crap, the Americans
just kidnapped him,
864
00:40:07,647 --> 00:40:09,082
and then they take him from us.
865
00:40:09,083 --> 00:40:11,053
So wait.
Who are these people?
866
00:40:11,054 --> 00:40:14,527
- The actual kidnappers.
- So more of you guys?
867
00:40:14,528 --> 00:40:16,598
I already almost explained this.
868
00:40:16,599 --> 00:40:19,102
Alley, that way.
Move it.
869
00:40:23,813 --> 00:40:25,682
What now?
870
00:40:28,094 --> 00:40:29,957
Get in!
871
00:40:32,731 --> 00:40:34,571
I'd like you all to know
that this goes against
872
00:40:34,595 --> 00:40:37,406
- every instinct I have.
- That is so sweet.
873
00:40:37,407 --> 00:40:39,342
So you chose
the lame-ass world.
874
00:40:39,343 --> 00:40:42,516
No.
I chose... you guys.
875
00:40:42,517 --> 00:40:43,919
Look out!
876
00:40:55,510 --> 00:40:57,713
I am sorry that it
worked out this way.
877
00:40:57,714 --> 00:41:03,491
But the next time I see you,
I'm going to kill you all.
878
00:41:05,563 --> 00:41:09,403
So just to circle back, I...
I read your letter.
879
00:41:09,404 --> 00:41:11,374
Is it too late to change sides?
880
00:41:13,679 --> 00:41:14,979
What?
881
00:41:18,154 --> 00:41:21,361
This is the best moment of my life!
882
00:41:22,897 --> 00:41:24,634
That is wildly out of context.
883
00:41:24,635 --> 00:41:26,571
This is why no one
trusts the UN.
884
00:41:26,572 --> 00:41:28,508
Consider his face
as you cast your vote
885
00:41:28,509 --> 00:41:30,512
to outlaw private spying.
886
00:41:30,513 --> 00:41:34,620
A man in wanton disregard
of the international order,
887
00:41:34,621 --> 00:41:39,664
beholden only to himself
and his own twisted ego.
888
00:41:39,665 --> 00:41:41,567
Oh, and now you're
complimenting me?
889
00:41:41,568 --> 00:41:44,666
- Not looking great here.
- What, the fact that we're all
890
00:41:44,667 --> 00:41:46,844
about to be unemployable
or the mission?
891
00:41:46,845 --> 00:41:48,285
So since you brought up
the mission...
892
00:41:48,309 --> 00:41:49,850
Well, at least you're not a vacuum
893
00:41:49,851 --> 00:41:51,821
strapped to a jack-off machine.
894
00:41:51,822 --> 00:41:53,858
Hey, some people would pay
big money for that.
895
00:41:53,859 --> 00:41:55,495
Me!
I'm that people.
896
00:41:55,496 --> 00:41:57,216
Don't you have some kind
of more appropriate
897
00:41:57,240 --> 00:42:01,641
- attire for me?
- I mean, yeah, if you want that.
898
00:42:01,642 --> 00:42:04,613
Whoa, so is that a spy suit
or a gimp suit?
899
00:42:04,614 --> 00:42:05,983
Dealer's choice.
900
00:42:05,984 --> 00:42:07,987
To review:
Slater and his old-ass spies
901
00:42:07,988 --> 00:42:09,423
want to blow up the dam,
902
00:42:09,424 --> 00:42:10,993
killing a bunch
of Russians and Chinese.
903
00:42:10,994 --> 00:42:13,234
Then he'll blame it on the U.S.
and restart the Cold War,
904
00:42:13,235 --> 00:42:15,205
because he thinks it's better
to run into the past
905
00:42:15,206 --> 00:42:18,575
- than face the future.
- Can't we just tell the dam?
906
00:42:18,576 --> 00:42:21,013
Slater's been calling in bomb
threats for the last six months,
907
00:42:21,014 --> 00:42:22,916
so everyone
just ignores them now.
908
00:42:22,917 --> 00:42:25,856
God, it sucks so much that he's
actually clever sometimes.
909
00:42:25,857 --> 00:42:29,129
Archer, Zara, Ray, you'll go
in posing as dam inspectors.
910
00:42:29,130 --> 00:42:32,469
Infiltrate, locate,
and defuse that bomb.
911
00:42:32,470 --> 00:42:35,207
And is there a plan to defeat
the undefeatable death robot?
912
00:42:35,208 --> 00:42:37,045
The Barry prototype!
913
00:42:37,046 --> 00:42:40,585
I'll just need a massive power
surge to jump his mind in there.
914
00:42:40,586 --> 00:42:42,723
So we'll hook him up
to one of the dam's turbines.
915
00:42:42,724 --> 00:42:44,994
Then I will become invincible.
916
00:42:44,995 --> 00:42:46,464
Not if you're still wearing that.
917
00:42:46,465 --> 00:42:48,635
- Mm. That bum, though.
- What about me?
918
00:42:48,636 --> 00:42:49,970
Lot to be said for your bum too.
919
00:42:49,971 --> 00:42:52,075
Pam, you and Cyril
will be team two.
920
00:42:52,076 --> 00:42:54,036
Now, it's not on any map,
but there's a shantytown
921
00:42:54,060 --> 00:42:55,582
that's right in the path
of the water.
922
00:42:55,583 --> 00:42:57,085
You need to convince them
to evacuate.
923
00:42:57,086 --> 00:42:58,621
Oh, come on!
924
00:42:58,622 --> 00:43:00,992
Why me?
I want to do the shooty stuff.
925
00:43:00,993 --> 00:43:03,865
I know it sucks, but you're
the only one everyone likes.
926
00:43:03,866 --> 00:43:05,826
Yeah, it's not like
they're gonna listen to Cyril.
927
00:43:05,850 --> 00:43:10,044
- Hey. I have useful skills.
- Like what, catching strays?
928
00:43:10,045 --> 00:43:12,983
If we can pull this off,
maybe the UN doesn't ban us.
929
00:43:12,984 --> 00:43:16,958
Look, what's most important
is making the world a better place,
930
00:43:16,959 --> 00:43:19,830
which is what we have
been doing all along.
931
00:43:19,831 --> 00:43:21,701
All along what?
932
00:43:21,702 --> 00:43:24,507
Hey. Hey, everyone.
Relax, OK?
933
00:43:24,508 --> 00:43:26,009
Look, I feel for you guys.
934
00:43:26,010 --> 00:43:27,946
Not everyone
has a skill set like me,
935
00:43:27,947 --> 00:43:31,788
you know, able to thrive solo
in literally any situation.
936
00:43:31,789 --> 00:43:33,858
And thank you
for that compelling summary
937
00:43:33,859 --> 00:43:36,898
- of your dickfaceitude.
- Guys, it's over.
938
00:43:36,899 --> 00:43:39,169
Did you think you were gonna do
this dubiously legal job
939
00:43:39,170 --> 00:43:40,250
for the rest of your lives?
940
00:43:40,274 --> 00:43:43,678
Just be like me, the fully
actualized person who's able
941
00:43:43,679 --> 00:43:45,849
to express my feelings
by doing terrible things
942
00:43:45,850 --> 00:43:48,588
to some presumably
bad guy's body!
943
00:43:48,589 --> 00:43:50,826
Lana, briefing. Finish.
944
00:43:52,831 --> 00:43:54,834
There is no tactical retreat here.
945
00:43:54,835 --> 00:43:57,539
So if we can get inside
with the disguises, great.
946
00:43:57,540 --> 00:44:01,246
If we can't, these will
uncomplicate things very quickly.
947
00:44:01,247 --> 00:44:02,116
Wait, how did you know
to bring that?
948
00:44:02,117 --> 00:44:03,685
Damn it, Archer.
949
00:44:03,686 --> 00:44:06,022
After all this time,
can you finally admit
950
00:44:06,023 --> 00:44:08,203
I am good at my goddamn job?
951
00:44:08,829 --> 00:44:11,906
No.
But it's a soft no.
952
00:44:12,670 --> 00:44:14,640
Come on, that's progress!
953
00:44:19,651 --> 00:44:21,251
Dam Team in position.
954
00:44:21,275 --> 00:44:22,656
Team Shantytown, report.
955
00:44:22,657 --> 00:44:24,593
Can we have
a cooler name, like Team...
956
00:44:24,594 --> 00:44:26,664
Nope. Here we go.
957
00:44:26,665 --> 00:44:28,668
One shot, or it's our last mission.
958
00:44:28,669 --> 00:44:30,309
In any number of ways.
959
00:44:30,333 --> 00:44:32,810
And on that cheerful note,
it's go time.
960
00:44:32,811 --> 00:44:35,882
Surprise dam inspection team,
under UN safety orders.
961
00:44:35,883 --> 00:44:37,653
We're gonna need access
to the facility.
962
00:44:38,923 --> 00:44:41,594
- I'm sorry, what?
- Are you challenging us?
963
00:44:41,595 --> 00:44:42,995
Look, I know people
see us at the UN
964
00:44:43,019 --> 00:44:44,734
as dull, incompetent clods.
965
00:44:44,735 --> 00:44:47,940
But we also happen to be
tremendous assholes.
966
00:44:47,941 --> 00:44:49,577
No, it's not that.
967
00:44:49,578 --> 00:44:51,848
Another team of inspectors
arrived an hour ago.
968
00:44:51,849 --> 00:44:55,121
And these inspectors, hottest
Russian woman you've ever seen
969
00:44:55,122 --> 00:44:58,193
and the world's biggest douche?
- He insulted my shoes
970
00:44:58,194 --> 00:45:01,033
and implied I had relations
with a reindeer.
971
00:45:04,808 --> 00:45:08,882
- Warn us before you do that!
- I totally cocked an eyebrow.
972
00:45:08,883 --> 00:45:12,021
So nonverbally tell them
they're all about to die?
973
00:45:12,022 --> 00:45:14,560
No, but we don't want to get
into a whole back-and-forth.
974
00:45:14,561 --> 00:45:15,996
It might get hostile.
975
00:45:15,997 --> 00:45:19,837
So... you are here
to tell us we must go?
976
00:45:19,838 --> 00:45:23,077
Oh, thank goodness.
This is such a relief.
977
00:45:23,078 --> 00:45:24,980
We thought that this
would be difficult, but...
978
00:45:26,585 --> 00:45:31,026
...we can see that it won't be because
we would never ask you to leave.
979
00:45:31,027 --> 00:45:33,130
Cargo shorts, nice.
980
00:45:33,131 --> 00:45:36,537
Lots of storage in those
bad boys, am I right?
981
00:45:37,941 --> 00:45:40,010
Lana, if you've got
some kind of secret plan,
982
00:45:40,011 --> 00:45:41,848
now is probably the time.
983
00:45:41,849 --> 00:45:44,920
- Cheryl, execute.
- What? Who is this?
984
00:45:44,921 --> 00:45:46,189
Just kidding.
985
00:45:49,130 --> 00:45:50,665
All right, you've got
a window without police.
986
00:45:50,666 --> 00:45:53,738
Cheryl's running distraction
and... hopefully not killing anyone.
987
00:45:53,739 --> 00:45:55,379
I'd say may God have mercy
on their souls,
988
00:45:55,403 --> 00:45:57,713
but what kind of god
would create Cheryl?
989
00:45:57,714 --> 00:46:00,686
Gaze upon me!
990
00:46:01,355 --> 00:46:03,324
Hey, guys, be careful
when you leave.
991
00:46:03,325 --> 00:46:05,696
There's glass everywhere
for some reason.
992
00:46:10,606 --> 00:46:11,974
Quick, get Barry up and running!
993
00:46:11,975 --> 00:46:14,747
Yeah, give me
that unimaginable power.
994
00:46:14,748 --> 00:46:16,216
Bring the rain of pain.
995
00:46:20,025 --> 00:46:21,794
What?
No. I'm cool.
996
00:46:21,795 --> 00:46:23,732
- I'm cool.
- Uh-huh.
997
00:46:25,134 --> 00:46:27,806
Please, I must implore you.
998
00:46:27,807 --> 00:46:29,108
No, you mustn't.
999
00:46:29,109 --> 00:46:30,879
Because she can snap
your pencil neck
1000
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:33,318
like, well, a pencil, I guess.
1001
00:46:33,319 --> 00:46:35,255
Now, that's not a pencil,
1002
00:46:35,256 --> 00:46:37,960
but I think the idea translates.
1003
00:46:37,961 --> 00:46:40,281
Terrorists
have taken the turbine hall.
1004
00:46:40,305 --> 00:46:41,032
Do not engage.
1005
00:46:41,033 --> 00:46:42,513
Well, I was wondering
when those dorks
1006
00:46:42,537 --> 00:46:44,974
would make
their doomed stupid gesture.
1007
00:46:44,975 --> 00:46:47,145
Katya, bring them to me!
1008
00:46:47,146 --> 00:46:51,787
Uh, as a request and not an order,
because we are equal partners.
1009
00:46:51,788 --> 00:46:54,092
Man, you can take
the unkillable murder bot
1010
00:46:54,093 --> 00:46:56,029
out of the woman,
but you can't take the woman
1011
00:46:56,030 --> 00:46:59,703
out of the unkillable murder bot.
Am I right?
1012
00:46:59,704 --> 00:47:02,276
We built this dam with our hands.
1013
00:47:02,277 --> 00:47:04,212
Our great achievement.
1014
00:47:04,213 --> 00:47:07,252
We love it and never wish
to be away from it.
1015
00:47:07,253 --> 00:47:08,721
That is all very reasonable.
1016
00:47:08,722 --> 00:47:09,962
Well, I guess
we should go, Pam.
1017
00:47:09,986 --> 00:47:12,094
Reasonable?
When that dam comes down,
1018
00:47:12,095 --> 00:47:13,665
you'll all be reasonably dead.
1019
00:47:14,968 --> 00:47:16,737
Come on, Krieger!
1020
00:47:16,738 --> 00:47:18,978
Look, man, this surge is gonna
blow out the Barry matrix.
1021
00:47:19,002 --> 00:47:20,912
So if you die after this,
you die, die.
1022
00:47:20,913 --> 00:47:22,213
Do it.
1023
00:47:33,739 --> 00:47:35,976
He's alive. Alive!
1024
00:47:41,922 --> 00:47:43,992
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1025
00:47:44,962 --> 00:47:48,400
- Krieger!
- What? I said it was a prototype.
1026
00:47:52,510 --> 00:47:54,713
I told you not to get involved.
1027
00:47:54,714 --> 00:47:57,151
No, You told us if you
saw us again, you'd kill us.
1028
00:47:57,152 --> 00:47:58,988
Not a helpful clarification.
1029
00:47:58,989 --> 00:48:01,059
You know Slater's
gonna betray you, right?
1030
00:48:01,060 --> 00:48:04,433
Even if he doesn't have a reason.
Just out of inherent dickishness.
1031
00:48:04,434 --> 00:48:06,470
But for now, he's a useful dick.
1032
00:48:06,471 --> 00:48:10,010
As you were once, my Sterling.
Barry?
1033
00:48:10,011 --> 00:48:11,781
What... happened to you?
1034
00:48:11,782 --> 00:48:15,120
Well, first I turned evil.
Then I killed you.
1035
00:48:15,121 --> 00:48:16,991
Then you were my girlfriend.
Then I died.
1036
00:48:16,992 --> 00:48:18,294
Then there was a bunch of me.
1037
00:48:18,295 --> 00:48:20,197
Then I got split into good and evil,
1038
00:48:20,198 --> 00:48:23,003
and then I was a refrigerator
and killed evil me.
1039
00:48:23,004 --> 00:48:24,873
And now...
1040
00:48:24,874 --> 00:48:27,011
I'm gonna kick your ass, I think.
1041
00:48:31,888 --> 00:48:34,293
Oof.
Like, seriously.
1042
00:48:34,294 --> 00:48:35,428
Oof, guys.
1043
00:48:35,429 --> 00:48:38,066
- Damn it, Krieger.
- Oh, sorry the sentient robot
1044
00:48:38,067 --> 00:48:41,507
I built in defiance of God
isn't up to your standards, Ray.
1045
00:48:48,154 --> 00:48:49,957
Hyah!
1046
00:48:49,958 --> 00:48:53,364
- Oh, robot legs. Right.
- Kick pants!
1047
00:48:54,968 --> 00:48:56,771
Zara, get out of here.
Get to Lana.
1048
00:48:56,772 --> 00:48:58,308
I am not leaving a fight.
1049
00:48:58,309 --> 00:49:00,378
God damn it,
I never lose, obviously.
1050
00:49:00,379 --> 00:49:02,081
But this... isn't looking great.
1051
00:49:02,082 --> 00:49:05,187
So find Lana and do what she says.
1052
00:49:05,188 --> 00:49:07,359
Ag... because
she's the smart one.
1053
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:10,097
How much personal growth
do you need? Go!
1054
00:49:10,098 --> 00:49:12,336
Had to pick this moment
to be noble, huh?
1055
00:49:12,337 --> 00:49:14,940
Yeah, I already regret it,
but I have a plan.
1056
00:49:14,941 --> 00:49:18,080
Ray, grab this cable.
We'll zap her when she gets out.
1057
00:49:18,081 --> 00:49:22,322
Hey, quick heads-up.
Those aren't electrified anymore.
1058
00:49:24,260 --> 00:49:26,330
And we're from a private spy company,
1059
00:49:26,331 --> 00:49:28,468
and there is a bomb
planted in the dam!
1060
00:49:28,469 --> 00:49:30,839
We've heard
bomb threats before.
1061
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:32,943
And how would you
know that anyway?
1062
00:49:32,944 --> 00:49:35,849
'Cause we're the ones who maybe
accidentally gave it to them.
1063
00:49:35,850 --> 00:49:39,990
Wait, you are the guys from Rio!
I saw you on TV.
1064
00:49:39,991 --> 00:49:42,863
Y'all have a TV here?
Is it behind the squalor?
1065
00:49:42,864 --> 00:49:46,840
We've got more than that.
Let me show you something.
1066
00:49:47,138 --> 00:49:48,841
Jeezy Petes.
1067
00:49:48,842 --> 00:49:50,110
Ha!
1068
00:49:50,111 --> 00:49:52,516
Welcome to a world of pa...
1069
00:49:52,517 --> 00:49:53,677
Ow!
1070
00:49:57,493 --> 00:49:59,563
Yeah! Go, tiny Barry!
1071
00:49:59,564 --> 00:50:00,965
Yeah, please don't
call me that, OK?
1072
00:50:00,966 --> 00:50:03,036
Get off!
Ugh!
1073
00:50:03,037 --> 00:50:04,840
Oh!
1074
00:50:04,841 --> 00:50:06,310
- Ooh!
- Oh, my God!
1075
00:50:06,311 --> 00:50:08,314
Ow. Oh, man.
1076
00:50:08,315 --> 00:50:12,221
Oh, no, man.
That's not good.
1077
00:50:12,823 --> 00:50:16,129
I-I don't suppose those
are the red eyes of love
1078
00:50:16,130 --> 00:50:17,532
you're looking at me with.
1079
00:50:17,533 --> 00:50:21,741
Holy shitsnacks,
you're stealing power
1080
00:50:21,742 --> 00:50:25,214
- from the dam to mine crypto?
- They owe us.
1081
00:50:25,215 --> 00:50:27,285
We cannot just leave this all behind.
1082
00:50:27,286 --> 00:50:28,988
Well, that's all great,
1083
00:50:28,989 --> 00:50:31,026
but you're all gonna die
if you don't leave.
1084
00:50:31,027 --> 00:50:33,398
Without this,
what is out there for us?
1085
00:50:33,399 --> 00:50:34,900
There's something better
out there.
1086
00:50:34,901 --> 00:50:36,337
You've got to believe that.
1087
00:50:36,338 --> 00:50:38,006
You've done incredible work here,
1088
00:50:38,007 --> 00:50:40,445
maybe the most important work
of your lives.
1089
00:50:40,446 --> 00:50:44,185
But maybe, just maybe...
it isn't.
1090
00:50:44,186 --> 00:50:46,891
And how great would it be
if it isn't
1091
00:50:46,892 --> 00:50:49,095
and the best is still out there?
1092
00:50:49,096 --> 00:50:50,965
- Oh, my God.
- Hey, uh, do I have
1093
00:50:50,966 --> 00:50:52,436
- to be here for this?
- Shh!
1094
00:50:52,437 --> 00:50:55,532
If I get your money out, can you
convince your people to get out?
1095
00:50:55,556 --> 00:50:56,610
You can do that?
1096
00:50:56,611 --> 00:50:59,316
I happen to be
a kick-ass accountant.
1097
00:50:59,317 --> 00:51:02,489
- Unlicensed.
- Look, if you can do that,
1098
00:51:02,490 --> 00:51:03,958
we will give you guys a cut.
1099
00:51:03,959 --> 00:51:05,295
Pam,
I've lost contact with Archer.
1100
00:51:05,296 --> 00:51:06,536
- What?
- I need you to...
1101
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:08,334
Don't worry.
Aunt Pammy's coming.
1102
00:51:08,335 --> 00:51:10,204
Find me a back way
into that place.
1103
00:51:10,205 --> 00:51:12,041
And get me some wheels.
1104
00:51:13,044 --> 00:51:16,917
Pampaaaage!
1105
00:51:18,355 --> 00:51:20,035
I can't believe
1106
00:51:20,059 --> 00:51:21,360
- you're doing this.
- What?
1107
00:51:21,361 --> 00:51:23,364
Tying you up is really
the established move here.
1108
00:51:23,365 --> 00:51:24,967
Not that, the dam.
1109
00:51:24,968 --> 00:51:26,728
You're really gonna wipe out
a whole village?
1110
00:51:26,752 --> 00:51:28,474
What village?
There's no village.
1111
00:51:28,475 --> 00:51:31,212
We're just going to kill
a bunch of old generals.
1112
00:51:31,213 --> 00:51:32,949
The world should thank us.
1113
00:51:32,950 --> 00:51:35,120
It's not gonna be on the map
because it's a squatter
1114
00:51:35,121 --> 00:51:37,325
town of workers who built the dam.
1115
00:51:37,326 --> 00:51:40,331
- Slater, there's a village?
- Oh, come on.
1116
00:51:41,935 --> 00:51:44,339
Look, betrayal is a subtle art,
1117
00:51:44,340 --> 00:51:47,144
and you guys are just really
messing up my timing here.
1118
00:51:47,145 --> 00:51:49,550
Though I guess that's all
water under the bridge.
1119
00:51:49,551 --> 00:51:53,089
Or, you know,
over your lifeless corpses.
1120
00:51:53,090 --> 00:51:56,129
- I can't move.
- Yeah, well, perils
1121
00:51:56,130 --> 00:51:58,401
of having a switch
that does that, honey.
1122
00:51:58,402 --> 00:52:00,137
Slater, why are you
even doing this?
1123
00:52:00,138 --> 00:52:01,640
How does the Cold War help you?
1124
00:52:01,641 --> 00:52:03,978
Come on, I've been
preparing this for years.
1125
00:52:03,979 --> 00:52:05,582
I've got moles
planted everywhere.
1126
00:52:05,583 --> 00:52:09,122
I'll be selling information both
ways, undermining governments.
1127
00:52:09,123 --> 00:52:11,226
Everything goes through me.
1128
00:52:11,227 --> 00:52:14,098
I am the new world order.
1129
00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:16,971
OK, so... enjoy exploding.
1130
00:52:16,972 --> 00:52:20,043
- Yeah, well, I'm not gonna.
- Really?
1131
00:52:20,044 --> 00:52:21,404
It's the last comeback
of your life
1132
00:52:21,428 --> 00:52:23,518
and that's all you've got?
1133
00:52:23,519 --> 00:52:25,588
That actually makes me
a little sad, but...
1134
00:52:25,589 --> 00:52:27,392
and immediately happy again.
1135
00:52:31,033 --> 00:52:33,304
- Where is everyone?
- Still inside.
1136
00:52:33,305 --> 00:52:35,265
It wasn't looking good,
so Archer sent me up here.
1137
00:52:35,289 --> 00:52:37,011
What?
We have to go get them.
1138
00:52:37,012 --> 00:52:39,148
Lana, wait.
That's not why he sent me.
1139
00:52:39,149 --> 00:52:41,119
Didn't you say making
the world a better place
1140
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:44,192
- was most important?
- What? Come on, I just said that!
1141
00:52:44,193 --> 00:52:45,793
I didn't think
it would actually come up!
1142
00:52:45,817 --> 00:52:47,164
I can't believe I'm saying this,
1143
00:52:47,165 --> 00:52:49,403
but trust him,
because he trusts you.
1144
00:52:49,404 --> 00:52:51,473
- What's the plan?
- OK, all right.
1145
00:52:51,474 --> 00:52:53,277
We set up an ambush.
If the dam breaks,
1146
00:52:53,278 --> 00:52:54,613
they don't want to be down,
so they're gonna go up.
1147
00:52:54,614 --> 00:52:56,417
Stop Slater. Get the detonator.
1148
00:52:56,418 --> 00:52:58,186
Prevent the Cold War.
I'm in.
1149
00:52:58,187 --> 00:52:59,587
Ugh, I just wish
we had some backup.
1150
00:52:59,611 --> 00:53:02,027
We do.
Cheryl?
1151
00:53:02,028 --> 00:53:04,600
Lana, stop dicking around.
1152
00:53:04,601 --> 00:53:07,572
Could you imagine if Cheryl
was the only backup at...
1153
00:53:07,573 --> 00:53:10,445
oh, shit, you're serious.
1154
00:53:10,446 --> 00:53:12,315
No, no.
1155
00:53:12,316 --> 00:53:14,286
It doesn't end like this.
1156
00:53:40,104 --> 00:53:42,742
Sorry, guys.
I can't make it.
1157
00:53:42,743 --> 00:53:44,245
I got you, little fella.
1158
00:53:44,246 --> 00:53:46,383
Pam!
Ugh, don't call me that.
1159
00:53:46,384 --> 00:53:48,254
Ooh!
1160
00:53:54,066 --> 00:53:56,670
Ow!
That really hurt.
1161
00:53:56,671 --> 00:53:58,608
Stupid ground.
1162
00:53:58,609 --> 00:54:02,382
God damn it, Pam.
Why are you always the best?
1163
00:54:02,383 --> 00:54:04,151
Why don't you ask your face?
1164
00:54:05,522 --> 00:54:09,263
- Barry, I'm so sorry.
- Hey, babe.
1165
00:54:09,264 --> 00:54:11,500
You look really big.
1166
00:54:16,511 --> 00:54:17,712
A bit outgunned here.
1167
00:54:17,713 --> 00:54:20,518
- Cover me!
- Cover you? Cover you where?
1168
00:54:22,356 --> 00:54:23,658
I did it!
1169
00:54:23,659 --> 00:54:25,795
I really did it!
Whoo-hoo!
1170
00:54:25,796 --> 00:54:28,501
- Now let's get the hell out of here.
- Oh, right, death!
1171
00:54:28,502 --> 00:54:31,325
Barry, hold on to my CPU.
1172
00:54:39,924 --> 00:54:42,295
We have
merged our consciousness.
1173
00:54:42,296 --> 00:54:46,270
Now witness the true power
of Katbar.
1174
00:54:46,271 --> 00:54:48,071
- Left.
- No, no. I'm leading.
1175
00:54:48,072 --> 00:54:50,032
- Left, then right.
- I'm leading.
1176
00:54:50,056 --> 00:54:52,315
This is like the worst
three-legged race of all time.
1177
00:54:52,316 --> 00:54:55,688
Slater, you are gonna
give me that detonator,
1178
00:54:55,689 --> 00:54:58,394
or I'm gonna pull your trachea out
1179
00:54:58,395 --> 00:55:00,264
through your dick hole!
1180
00:55:01,735 --> 00:55:04,406
Detonator?
You think there's a detonator?
1181
00:55:04,407 --> 00:55:07,312
What am I, an amateur?
Jesus, Lana.
1182
00:55:07,313 --> 00:55:09,282
You use detonators
when you want there to be
1183
00:55:09,283 --> 00:55:11,420
an option to explode or not.
1184
00:55:11,421 --> 00:55:13,691
You use a timer when you...
1185
00:55:33,565 --> 00:55:35,702
That sound you just heard
was the dam bursting.
1186
00:55:35,703 --> 00:55:38,206
Get everyone out now!
1187
00:55:38,207 --> 00:55:40,311
No, I'm not a lady.
1188
00:55:46,691 --> 00:55:48,171
Hasn't this guy
ever heard of a buffer
1189
00:55:48,195 --> 00:55:51,266
- on his goddamn time bomb?
- Ah, don't worry.
1190
00:55:51,267 --> 00:55:53,337
I'll tell everyone
how I tried to stop you.
1191
00:55:53,338 --> 00:55:55,408
Enjoy prison, buddy.
1192
00:55:55,409 --> 00:55:57,512
You used the "enjoy" line
already, Slater!
1193
00:55:57,513 --> 00:56:00,351
- Archer, don't do it.
- Who would I be if I didn't?
1194
00:56:00,352 --> 00:56:02,392
Besides, you know I'm the best
when saving the world
1195
00:56:02,416 --> 00:56:04,753
happens to coincide
with being super petty.
1196
00:56:15,482 --> 00:56:17,519
Goodbye, Archer.
1197
00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:20,491
No!
I... hate... goodbyes!
1198
00:56:24,901 --> 00:56:26,537
Help me!
1199
00:56:26,538 --> 00:56:28,841
Why would I do that?
1200
00:56:28,842 --> 00:56:30,311
Because I know...
1201
00:56:30,312 --> 00:56:31,792
- who your father is.
- What?
1202
00:56:31,793 --> 00:56:33,028
What, you don't think the CIA
1203
00:56:33,029 --> 00:56:35,421
ever ran your DNA
through our database?
1204
00:56:35,422 --> 00:56:37,625
I-I mean, that does accord
1205
00:56:37,626 --> 00:56:39,663
with my sense
of my own importance.
1206
00:56:39,664 --> 00:56:41,633
I looked it up and deleted it.
1207
00:56:41,634 --> 00:56:44,372
I'm the only one who knows.
I did it for leverage.
1208
00:56:44,373 --> 00:56:46,310
God, it sucks
that you're clever sometimes!
1209
00:56:46,311 --> 00:56:48,380
Hey, if you don't save me,
1210
00:56:48,381 --> 00:56:50,284
you'll never know
your father's identity.
1211
00:56:54,927 --> 00:56:57,599
Slater, turns out,
I don't need to know.
1212
00:56:57,600 --> 00:57:02,308
Oh, that is such horseshiiiiit!
1213
00:57:02,309 --> 00:57:04,713
But hey, enjoy falling.
1214
00:57:04,714 --> 00:57:08,387
Hey, Slater, now I'm your daddy!
1215
00:57:08,388 --> 00:57:11,427
Ha! Wait, no, didn't say that.
No one heard it.
1216
00:57:11,428 --> 00:57:13,028
It was the "enjoy" line
and then nothing.
1217
00:57:13,052 --> 00:57:14,755
That's what ended it.
That's all I said.
1218
00:57:15,635 --> 00:57:19,810
And the final tally:
172 to 21.
1219
00:57:19,811 --> 00:57:22,882
Private spy agencies are outlawed.
1220
00:57:22,883 --> 00:57:24,820
God damn it.
1221
00:57:28,328 --> 00:57:30,465
Uh, little surprise for you all.
1222
00:57:30,466 --> 00:57:33,437
We got a cut
of that shantytown's crypto,
1223
00:57:33,438 --> 00:57:36,310
and we're all... millionaires!
1224
00:57:37,446 --> 00:57:39,449
What? No!
1225
00:57:39,450 --> 00:57:41,286
Sell.
Sell, sell, sell!
1226
00:57:41,287 --> 00:57:44,960
Well, we... we all
have... a little bit of money.
1227
00:57:44,961 --> 00:57:46,830
- All right.
- Hooray.
1228
00:57:46,831 --> 00:57:48,032
OK, here's my pitch.
1229
00:57:48,033 --> 00:57:50,571
We use your money
to fund my research
1230
00:57:50,572 --> 00:57:53,711
to colonize the moon...
with werewolves.
1231
00:57:53,712 --> 00:57:56,583
Think about it.
The moon is always full there.
1232
00:57:56,584 --> 00:58:01,827
- Ooh. I'm liking it.
- You are the biggest bunch
1233
00:58:01,828 --> 00:58:05,801
of undisciplined, petty weirdos
I have ever met.
1234
00:58:05,802 --> 00:58:09,342
And, my God,
it has been an honor.
1235
00:58:09,343 --> 00:58:13,651
- Thousand pound this is a bull's-eye.
- Make it five!
1236
00:58:14,152 --> 00:58:15,988
Ow!
Damn it, Zara!
1237
00:58:15,989 --> 00:58:17,725
Yes! That counts!
1238
00:58:17,726 --> 00:58:19,863
Guys. Guys!
1239
00:58:19,864 --> 00:58:22,502
Hey, jackasses!
1240
00:58:22,503 --> 00:58:24,339
OK, sorry.
Sorry, that was harsh.
1241
00:58:24,340 --> 00:58:25,740
I just wanted to say
that, you know,
1242
00:58:25,741 --> 00:58:27,243
we did something
really good today.
1243
00:58:27,244 --> 00:58:30,651
And yeah, we fucked up before... a lot.
1244
00:58:30,652 --> 00:58:32,522
But we've done a lot of good too.
1245
00:58:32,523 --> 00:58:34,793
And... and maybe we all gave up
a lot of stuff to do it,
1246
00:58:34,794 --> 00:58:37,365
you know, like...
like normal lives and...
1247
00:58:37,366 --> 00:58:40,972
healthy relationships
and not having all these scars.
1248
00:58:40,973 --> 00:58:43,711
But the thing is,
I'm proud of these scars.
1249
00:58:43,712 --> 00:58:47,418
I'm proud of us.
And I know Malory would be too.
1250
00:58:47,419 --> 00:58:49,890
But you know what?
Life is not over yet, OK?
1251
00:58:49,891 --> 00:58:51,527
You guys are gonna do
great new things
1252
00:58:51,528 --> 00:58:53,096
you haven't even thought of.
1253
00:58:53,097 --> 00:58:55,368
And... and so am I.
1254
00:58:55,369 --> 00:58:56,770
And I'm trying really hard
to convince myself
1255
00:58:56,771 --> 00:58:59,676
of that right now, but I...
I really think I believe it.
1256
00:58:59,677 --> 00:59:01,045
And you should too.
1257
00:59:01,046 --> 00:59:03,784
'Cause I love you guys, all of you.
1258
00:59:03,785 --> 00:59:05,588
And you deserve all of the happiness
1259
00:59:05,589 --> 00:59:07,926
this fucked-up world can give you.
1260
00:59:09,597 --> 00:59:11,117
I would miss you guys so much
1261
00:59:11,141 --> 00:59:13,704
if I didn't have clones
of all of you.
1262
00:59:13,705 --> 00:59:15,474
Hey, Archer,
what are you gonna...
1263
00:59:15,475 --> 00:59:18,012
- Archer?
- Where'd he go?
1264
00:59:22,101 --> 00:59:25,093
- Oh, Sterling.
- Oh. Oh, Katya.
1265
00:59:25,094 --> 00:59:26,394
It's even better
than I imagined.
1266
00:59:27,833 --> 00:59:30,805
This is mind-blowing.
I mean, wow.
1267
00:59:30,806 --> 00:59:32,542
Barry, I'm gonna need you
to stop talking.
1268
00:59:32,543 --> 00:59:35,414
- Oh, but it's so different.
- Stop talking!
1269
00:59:37,586 --> 00:59:39,422
OK, start talking again.
1270
00:59:39,423 --> 00:59:41,560
That was actually
really working for me.
1271
00:59:46,036 --> 00:59:48,608
- Whoa-ho! Oh, yeah!
- Oh!
1272
00:59:57,826 --> 01:00:00,698
Not sure what you're looking
for, but we're closed.
1273
01:00:00,699 --> 01:00:02,969
Oh, I'm looking for you,
Ms. Kane.
1274
01:00:02,970 --> 01:00:06,443
Have you seen
Sterling Archer recently?
1275
01:00:06,444 --> 01:00:09,048
Have you?
He disappeared after Sochi.
1276
01:00:09,049 --> 01:00:11,169
I hear he's been on quite
the tear of rogue espionage.
1277
01:00:11,193 --> 01:00:14,459
Yes, well, we were hoping
you might help us with that.
1278
01:00:14,460 --> 01:00:16,128
And "we" is?
1279
01:00:16,129 --> 01:00:19,736
I represent a new joint
CIA-MI6 coordinating group.
1280
01:00:19,737 --> 01:00:21,873
Private spying
may be a thing of the past,
1281
01:00:21,874 --> 01:00:24,144
but the world's still
a complicated place.
1282
01:00:24,145 --> 01:00:26,883
Sometimes flexible solutions
are needed.
1283
01:00:26,884 --> 01:00:31,058
- That's who "we" is.
- So private spying is dead,
1284
01:00:31,059 --> 01:00:33,731
but sometimes you need
someone nonpublic.
1285
01:00:33,732 --> 01:00:38,641
Precisely! And Mr. Archer...
is a problem for us.
1286
01:00:38,642 --> 01:00:40,143
Ha, try having a kid with him.
1287
01:00:40,144 --> 01:00:42,180
We can't have him
out there freelancing.
1288
01:00:42,181 --> 01:00:46,155
Too chaotic, too messy.
No sense of perspective.
1289
01:00:46,156 --> 01:00:48,794
- So you've come to me.
- One job.
1290
01:00:48,795 --> 01:00:50,498
We don't care how long it takes.
1291
01:00:50,499 --> 01:00:53,537
Generous stipend,
rotating diplomatic covers,
1292
01:00:53,538 --> 01:00:55,775
sizable bonus upon completion.
1293
01:00:55,776 --> 01:01:00,818
- Just bring in Sterling Archer.
- I'll think about it.
1294
01:01:00,819 --> 01:01:03,394
We'd expect nothing less, Ms. Kane.
1295
01:01:06,764 --> 01:01:08,232
Don't worry, Mom.
I got him.
1296
01:01:08,233 --> 01:01:10,705
Very funny, AJ.
How was the zoo?
1297
01:01:10,706 --> 01:01:13,076
Mom, it was amazing!
I saw an elephant.
1298
01:01:13,077 --> 01:01:14,138
We had cotton candy.
1299
01:01:14,139 --> 01:01:16,917
- Dad got me a...
- Shh! Let it be a surprise.
1300
01:01:17,519 --> 01:01:20,825
Uh-oh.
Do you two need... to talk?
1301
01:01:20,826 --> 01:01:24,666
I'll go wait in the car.
1302
01:01:24,667 --> 01:01:27,003
Well, you better be able
to live off that stipend,
1303
01:01:27,004 --> 01:01:28,941
because you're never
bringing me in.
1304
01:01:28,942 --> 01:01:31,813
- Oh, dream on, buddy.
- Could be fun, though.
1305
01:01:31,814 --> 01:01:33,216
Cat and mouse for years.
1306
01:01:33,217 --> 01:01:34,919
Glimpses in the corridor.
1307
01:01:34,920 --> 01:01:36,823
Imagine the erotic possibilities.
1308
01:01:36,824 --> 01:01:39,061
- Ugh.
- Then it's settled.
1309
01:01:39,062 --> 01:01:42,935
- Visits with AJ are off-limits?
- Oh, obviously.
1310
01:01:42,936 --> 01:01:46,008
Here's to a suspense-filled
three days before I catch you.
1311
01:01:48,247 --> 01:01:49,983
Well, got to head back
to the shadows.
1312
01:01:51,554 --> 01:01:55,222
- It was quite the thing, wasn't it?
- Right?
1313
01:01:58,701 --> 01:02:03,777
Hey, Lana, I, um...
about us...
1314
01:02:03,778 --> 01:02:05,915
I'm really gonna miss
hearing what you...
1315
01:02:05,916 --> 01:02:08,133
what you think about stuff.
1316
01:02:08,921 --> 01:02:11,983
Couldn't have
said that ten years ago?
1317
01:02:12,596 --> 01:02:13,896
Asshole.
1318
01:02:14,867 --> 01:02:17,003
- Oh, and, Lana?
- Yeah?
1319
01:02:17,004 --> 01:02:18,707
Like I said, AJ and I
went to the zoo,
1320
01:02:18,708 --> 01:02:22,899
and, uh, you should probably
buy a gibbon cage.
1321
01:02:24,854 --> 01:02:27,057
God damn it.
1322
01:02:35,107 --> 01:02:37,278
Lana, I got your message...
1323
01:02:37,279 --> 01:02:39,282
Archer?
What are you doing here?
1324
01:02:39,283 --> 01:02:41,887
And where the hell do you
get off not saying goodbye?
1325
01:02:41,888 --> 01:02:44,726
Well, Pam, I hate goodbyes.
And I knew I'd see you again.
1326
01:02:44,727 --> 01:02:47,865
So, what, you pretended to be Lana
and called me here to apologize?
1327
01:02:47,866 --> 01:02:50,905
Pfft, no, it's just that I've
been out there on my own
1328
01:02:50,906 --> 01:02:52,608
and it's... it's not sustainable.
1329
01:02:52,609 --> 01:02:53,944
No one to watch my back.
1330
01:02:53,945 --> 01:02:57,819
What happened to thriving solo
in literally any situation?
1331
01:02:57,820 --> 01:02:59,622
Eh, I might have been wrong.
1332
01:02:59,623 --> 01:03:02,194
You want in? High danger.
Not a lot of money.
1333
01:03:02,195 --> 01:03:05,668
Just get in the goddamn elevator.
1334
01:03:05,669 --> 01:03:07,805
- So where to?
- Tangier.
1335
01:03:07,806 --> 01:03:10,678
- What we got there?
- Not a fucking clue.
1336
01:03:10,679 --> 01:03:12,792
Perfect.
1337
01:03:15,988 --> 01:03:19,982
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