1 00:00:03,832 --> 00:00:05,933 This job is eating me alive. 2 00:00:05,968 --> 00:00:08,169 I can't breathe anymore. 3 00:00:08,203 --> 00:00:10,738 I spent all these years trying to be the good guy, 4 00:00:10,739 --> 00:00:13,307 the man in the white hat. 5 00:00:13,342 --> 00:00:15,977 I'm not becoming like them. 6 00:00:15,978 --> 00:00:18,412 I am them. 7 00:00:18,413 --> 00:00:21,115 Hey! What are you doing, weirdo? 8 00:00:21,116 --> 00:00:22,950 I'm doing the best speech from Donnie Brasco. 9 00:00:22,985 --> 00:00:24,752 Or actually, 10 00:00:24,753 --> 00:00:27,154 ten of me are doing the best speech from Donnie Brasco. 11 00:00:27,155 --> 00:00:29,056 What's up? 12 00:00:29,091 --> 00:00:31,292 Get it together, man. Okay? 13 00:00:31,293 --> 00:00:33,027 So the store was hit about two hours ago. 14 00:00:33,061 --> 00:00:35,529 They took mostly tablets, laptops, and cameras. 15 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,334 Sorry. 16 00:00:40,369 --> 00:00:42,810 I'd like a list of all your employees, 17 00:00:42,838 --> 00:00:44,872 whoever had access to the store. 18 00:00:44,873 --> 00:00:46,907 I'd also like to apologize for my partner. 19 00:00:46,908 --> 00:00:48,709 His parents didn't give him enough attention. 20 00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:49,777 Uh, Detective... 21 00:00:49,811 --> 00:00:51,379 I already solved the case. 22 00:00:51,413 --> 00:00:52,913 We're looking for three white males, 23 00:00:52,914 --> 00:00:54,615 one of whom has sleeve tats on both arms. 24 00:00:54,616 --> 00:00:56,350 And how do you know that? 25 00:00:56,385 --> 00:00:58,252 I had an informant on the inside. 26 00:00:58,286 --> 00:00:59,854 He's been here for years. 27 00:00:59,888 --> 00:01:02,757 Watching, learning. Waiting. 28 00:01:02,758 --> 00:01:05,126 His code name? 29 00:01:05,127 --> 00:01:07,294 Fuzzy Cuddle bear. 30 00:01:07,295 --> 00:01:09,196 He's a nanny cam. 31 00:01:09,231 --> 00:01:10,998 You got lucky. 32 00:01:11,033 --> 00:01:12,767 No, I got here five minutes before you 33 00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:14,435 and figured that in this gigantic electronics store, 34 00:01:14,436 --> 00:01:16,404 there had to be at least one working camera. 35 00:01:16,438 --> 00:01:18,539 Oh! Hi, bad guys! 36 00:01:18,540 --> 00:01:20,908 You did it, fuzzy. You busted 'em. 37 00:01:20,909 --> 00:01:22,777 It's time to come home. 38 00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:24,645 I'm not sure if I can. 39 00:01:24,646 --> 00:01:27,748 I've been undercover so long, I've forgotten who I am. 40 00:01:27,783 --> 00:01:29,750 I have seen terrible things. 41 00:01:29,785 --> 00:01:32,119 I haven't known the touch of a woman in many moons. 42 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:33,754 All right. 43 00:01:33,755 --> 00:01:36,323 Detective Santiago! 44 00:01:36,324 --> 00:01:38,059 Don't walk away from me! 45 00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:47,682 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.Addic7ed.Com/ 46 00:01:49,137 --> 00:01:51,539 Yes, I did crack the case. 47 00:01:51,573 --> 00:01:53,641 So, Santiago, would you do the honors? 48 00:01:55,243 --> 00:01:58,979 Ohhh! 49 00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:00,414 I hate this! 50 00:02:00,449 --> 00:02:01,682 Ah, yeah. 51 00:02:01,683 --> 00:02:03,117 I hate this. 52 00:02:03,118 --> 00:02:04,285 And you're just gonna add one. 53 00:02:04,286 --> 00:02:05,653 I'm winning. 54 00:02:06,822 --> 00:02:08,456 It's a good feeling. 55 00:02:08,490 --> 00:02:10,391 It's a good feeling. Yeah. 56 00:02:10,425 --> 00:02:11,592 Enjoy it while it lasts. 57 00:02:11,626 --> 00:02:12,993 I will! 58 00:02:12,994 --> 00:02:15,329 JP, update on the Morgenthau murder? 59 00:02:15,330 --> 00:02:18,032 Yeah! Good news for all you murder fans. 60 00:02:18,033 --> 00:02:19,834 Earlier this morning... 61 00:02:19,868 --> 00:02:22,169 Someone decided to shoot and kill 62 00:02:22,170 --> 00:02:24,638 luxury food importer Henry Morgenthau. 63 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:26,674 Body was found by the cleaning lady, 64 00:02:26,708 --> 00:02:29,376 during her interview, I deduced, using expert Detective work, 65 00:02:29,377 --> 00:02:31,512 that she had something super gross on her chin. 66 00:02:33,648 --> 00:02:35,116 I think it was flan. 67 00:02:35,150 --> 00:02:36,383 Charles thinks it was flan. 68 00:02:36,384 --> 00:02:37,918 I think it was butterscotch pudding. 69 00:02:37,953 --> 00:02:39,553 Maybe it was just old person gunk. 70 00:02:39,554 --> 00:02:41,088 You know how old people always have that gunk on them. 71 00:02:41,123 --> 00:02:42,356 Oldie gunk. Could be, yeah. 72 00:02:42,357 --> 00:02:43,657 Anyone else? 73 00:02:43,658 --> 00:02:45,159 How about we focus on the murder 74 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,128 and not the old person gunk? 75 00:02:47,162 --> 00:02:48,462 Crime techs are at the scene now. 76 00:02:48,463 --> 00:02:49,630 We're heading back when they're done. 77 00:02:49,664 --> 00:02:51,165 Okay, I want you on this. 78 00:02:51,166 --> 00:02:52,600 It's gonna be priority one for the new C.O. 79 00:02:52,634 --> 00:02:54,435 Wait, tell us about the new Captain. 80 00:02:54,469 --> 00:02:55,669 Captain Holt will be here soon. 81 00:02:55,670 --> 00:02:59,974 He'll wanna introduce himself. Dismissed. 82 00:03:02,244 --> 00:03:03,450 Hey, Gina. 83 00:03:03,478 --> 00:03:05,146 You know any scalpers? 84 00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:07,047 I wanna ask Rosa to go to the Rihanna concert with me, 85 00:03:07,048 --> 00:03:08,215 but it's sold out. 86 00:03:08,250 --> 00:03:10,184 Okay, two points to make here. 87 00:03:10,185 --> 00:03:11,886 First, Rihanna... 88 00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:13,053 You... 89 00:03:13,088 --> 00:03:14,989 And then Rihanna. 90 00:03:15,023 --> 00:03:17,191 Yeah. What's your second point? 91 00:03:17,225 --> 00:03:18,559 She's got a type. 92 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,661 Which is really anyone but you. 93 00:03:20,695 --> 00:03:23,164 Yeah, that was my ex-wife's type too. 94 00:03:23,198 --> 00:03:26,901 Look, a Rihanna concert's a pretty big swing, man. 95 00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:30,004 - I don't know. - She's into watching old movies. 96 00:03:30,038 --> 00:03:33,407 Cool. Where would I find a place that shows old movies? 97 00:03:33,441 --> 00:03:35,442 Oh, yeah, just go on the Internet 98 00:03:35,443 --> 00:03:39,013 and search for the phrase "I want to buy two movie tickets 99 00:03:39,014 --> 00:03:40,681 for a girl who doesn't like me." 100 00:03:40,715 --> 00:03:43,317 - Great. Thank you. - Good. 101 00:03:43,351 --> 00:03:47,188 Hey, you heard anything about the new Captain? 102 00:03:47,222 --> 00:03:49,123 Uh, no, and I don't care. 103 00:03:49,124 --> 00:03:51,358 I just wish Captain McGintley never left, he was the best. 104 00:03:51,393 --> 00:03:52,893 He was terrible. 105 00:03:52,894 --> 00:03:54,128 You just liked him 'cause he let you do 106 00:03:54,129 --> 00:03:55,429 anything you wanted. 107 00:03:55,430 --> 00:03:58,265 On your marks, get set... 108 00:03:58,266 --> 00:03:59,767 Go. 109 00:03:59,768 --> 00:04:01,435 What the hell's going on around here? 110 00:04:01,469 --> 00:04:03,737 Fire extinguisher roller chair derby? 111 00:04:03,772 --> 00:04:05,573 Okay. 112 00:04:05,574 --> 00:04:07,208 And go! 113 00:04:10,745 --> 00:04:12,713 Yeah! 114 00:04:12,714 --> 00:04:14,715 What's your point? 115 00:04:14,716 --> 00:04:16,884 If I'm ever gonna make Captain, I need a good mentor. 116 00:04:16,885 --> 00:04:17,918 I need my rabbi. 117 00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:19,720 Sorry, dude... 118 00:04:19,721 --> 00:04:21,522 But this new guy's gonna be another washed-up pencil pusher 119 00:04:21,556 --> 00:04:22,656 who's only concerned with... 120 00:04:22,657 --> 00:04:23,958 Following every rule 121 00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:25,926 in the patrol guide. 122 00:04:25,927 --> 00:04:29,864 Meep morp zeep. Robot Captain Engage. 123 00:04:29,898 --> 00:04:31,899 - Is that what you think? - He-hey! 124 00:04:31,933 --> 00:04:34,468 New Captain alert. 125 00:04:34,502 --> 00:04:36,170 You must be the new C.O. 126 00:04:36,171 --> 00:04:38,305 I'm Detective Jake Peralta. Great to meet you. 127 00:04:38,340 --> 00:04:39,974 Now don't let me interrupt. 128 00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:41,275 You were describing what kind of person I'm gonna be. 129 00:04:41,276 --> 00:04:42,610 I'd like you to finish. 130 00:04:42,644 --> 00:04:46,347 That's not necessary. 131 00:04:46,348 --> 00:04:49,383 Or I could recap very quickly, sure. 132 00:04:49,417 --> 00:04:51,185 Um, let's see. 133 00:04:51,186 --> 00:04:52,853 I think I said some joke 134 00:04:52,854 --> 00:04:54,822 about being a washed-up pencil pusher. 135 00:04:54,856 --> 00:04:56,657 - Now do the robot voice. - Which... 136 00:04:56,658 --> 00:04:58,759 The robot voice you were doing 137 00:04:58,793 --> 00:05:00,628 when you implied I'm a rule-following robot. 138 00:05:00,629 --> 00:05:03,631 I wanna hear it again. 139 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:09,003 Meep morp... zarp. 140 00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,105 Robot. 141 00:05:11,139 --> 00:05:13,440 - That's a terrible robot voice. - Yep. 142 00:05:13,441 --> 00:05:14,775 The next time I see you, 143 00:05:14,776 --> 00:05:16,977 I'd like you to be wearing a necktie. 144 00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:20,014 Oh, actually, the last Captain didn't care if we wore ties. 145 00:05:20,048 --> 00:05:21,348 Well, your new Captain does. 146 00:05:21,349 --> 00:05:22,716 And more importantly, 147 00:05:22,717 --> 00:05:24,785 he cares that you follow his direct orders. 148 00:05:24,786 --> 00:05:25,986 Everyone, 149 00:05:25,987 --> 00:05:27,421 I'm your new commanding officer, 150 00:05:27,455 --> 00:05:29,823 - Captain Ray Holt. - Speech! 151 00:05:29,824 --> 00:05:32,526 - That was my speech. - Short and sweet. 152 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:36,530 - Sergeant Jeffords, a word. - Yes, sir. 153 00:05:36,564 --> 00:05:39,366 I love that guy. 154 00:05:39,401 --> 00:05:40,534 Same! 155 00:05:40,568 --> 00:05:42,336 He's so suave. 156 00:05:42,337 --> 00:05:45,873 Does anyone get a little bit of a gay vibe? 157 00:05:45,907 --> 00:05:47,641 No? Okay. 158 00:05:47,676 --> 00:05:50,242 Sergeant, you were in the 1-8 with me... 159 00:05:50,245 --> 00:05:53,681 Though you were significantly... 160 00:05:53,682 --> 00:05:54,848 Fatter, sir. 161 00:05:54,883 --> 00:05:56,750 They called me "Terry Titties." 162 00:05:56,751 --> 00:05:59,687 Because I had large, uh... 163 00:05:59,721 --> 00:06:01,422 Titties, yes. I remember. 164 00:06:01,423 --> 00:06:02,990 I never liked that nickname. 165 00:06:02,991 --> 00:06:05,059 Though to be fair, it was accurate. 166 00:06:05,093 --> 00:06:07,227 What's this I hear about you being on administrative leave? 167 00:06:07,262 --> 00:06:11,999 A year ago, my wife and I had twin baby girls. 168 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,801 Cagney and Lacey. 169 00:06:13,835 --> 00:06:15,636 They have adorable chubby cheeks. 170 00:06:15,670 --> 00:06:18,539 Ever since, I kinda got scared of getting hurt. 171 00:06:18,573 --> 00:06:20,708 Lost my edge. 172 00:06:20,709 --> 00:06:23,210 There was an incident in a department store. 173 00:06:23,211 --> 00:06:25,652 Hey, man, you okay? You look a little jumpy. 174 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:26,880 I'm fine. I'm fine. 175 00:06:28,016 --> 00:06:31,085 Ahhh! 176 00:06:34,222 --> 00:06:36,056 I think he's dead. 177 00:06:36,057 --> 00:06:38,192 And I'm still not right. 178 00:06:38,226 --> 00:06:40,427 Tell me about your Detective squad. 179 00:06:40,462 --> 00:06:43,130 Um... 180 00:06:43,131 --> 00:06:45,265 Well, Scully, Hitchcock, and Daniels. 181 00:06:45,266 --> 00:06:46,600 They're pretty much worthless, 182 00:06:46,634 --> 00:06:47,968 but they make good coffee. 183 00:06:47,969 --> 00:06:49,803 Copy that. 184 00:06:49,804 --> 00:06:51,605 Now the good ones. 185 00:06:51,606 --> 00:06:52,773 Rosa Diaz. 186 00:06:52,807 --> 00:06:56,910 Tough, smart, hard to read, and really scary. 187 00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:00,180 Tell me who has me for secret santa. 188 00:07:00,215 --> 00:07:03,617 No! That takes all the fun out of it. 189 00:07:03,651 --> 00:07:06,186 It's Scully. He got you a scarf. 190 00:07:06,221 --> 00:07:09,757 - I'll make him return it. - Yes, you will. 191 00:07:09,758 --> 00:07:11,925 Charles Boyle. He's a grinder. 192 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,560 Not the most brilliant Detective, 193 00:07:13,561 --> 00:07:15,229 but he works harder than anyone else. 194 00:07:15,230 --> 00:07:18,122 He's not physically gifted. 195 00:07:19,667 --> 00:07:21,902 Oh, man! My muffin. 196 00:07:21,903 --> 00:07:23,404 Ahh! 197 00:07:23,405 --> 00:07:25,672 Oh, my head! My muffin, my head! 198 00:07:25,673 --> 00:07:27,674 And I stepped on the... On my muffin! 199 00:07:27,675 --> 00:07:28,842 And my head and my muffin. 200 00:07:28,843 --> 00:07:31,879 Amy Santiago. 201 00:07:31,913 --> 00:07:33,614 She's got seven brothers, 202 00:07:33,615 --> 00:07:34,948 so she's always trying to prove she's tough. 203 00:07:34,949 --> 00:07:37,217 Careful. That stuff's pretty hot. 204 00:07:37,252 --> 00:07:39,787 Oh, is it? Hmm? 205 00:07:50,031 --> 00:07:51,932 She and Peralta have some big bet 206 00:07:51,933 --> 00:07:53,600 over who gets more arrests this year. 207 00:07:53,635 --> 00:07:56,637 Ever since the bet, their numbers have gone way up. 208 00:07:56,638 --> 00:07:58,172 Tell me about Peralta. 209 00:07:58,206 --> 00:08:01,175 Jacob Peralta is my best Detective. 210 00:08:01,209 --> 00:08:03,744 He likes putting away bad guys and he loves solving puzzles. 211 00:08:03,778 --> 00:08:06,113 The only puzzle he hasn't solved 212 00:08:06,114 --> 00:08:08,248 is how to grow up. 213 00:08:08,283 --> 00:08:10,417 That was very well put. 214 00:08:10,452 --> 00:08:13,687 I've talked a lot about Jake in my departmentally mandated 215 00:08:13,688 --> 00:08:15,422 therapy sessions. 216 00:08:15,457 --> 00:08:17,124 Look, you know my history. 217 00:08:17,158 --> 00:08:18,525 You know how important this is to me. 218 00:08:18,526 --> 00:08:20,027 This precinct is doing fine, 219 00:08:20,028 --> 00:08:22,496 but I wanna make it the best one in Brooklyn. 220 00:08:22,497 --> 00:08:23,597 And I need your help. 221 00:08:23,631 --> 00:08:25,063 Absolutely, sir. 222 00:08:25,066 --> 00:08:27,768 Where do we start? 223 00:08:27,802 --> 00:08:30,277 ♪ What is happening? 224 00:08:30,305 --> 00:08:31,904 We start with him. 225 00:08:34,238 --> 00:08:36,806 Okay, so the perp came in through the window, 226 00:08:36,841 --> 00:08:38,308 left the muddy red footprint, 227 00:08:38,342 --> 00:08:40,176 and apparently had sex with the dish rack. 228 00:08:40,177 --> 00:08:42,312 Shell casing found here. Two shots. 229 00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:43,613 Bang, bang. 230 00:08:43,647 --> 00:08:45,482 Great work, Detective. 231 00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:47,083 You get a tie. 232 00:08:47,084 --> 00:08:48,485 Hey, that's mine. You took it from my desk. 233 00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:49,588 That's right, Charles. Good solve. 234 00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:50,920 - Tie for you. - Thanks! 235 00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,422 Now everyone be sure to put those on 236 00:08:52,423 --> 00:08:53,823 because it's impossible to solve crimes 237 00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:56,593 - unless you're wearing a tie. - Lay off the Captain. 238 00:08:56,594 --> 00:08:58,294 That man is gonna be my rabbi. 239 00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,996 Okay, first of all, when you use the word "rabbi," 240 00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:01,498 you know that turns me on 241 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:02,832 and that's unfair in the work environment. 242 00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:05,435 Secondly, your rabbi is a pain in my ass. 243 00:09:05,469 --> 00:09:07,170 Yeah, he's a little too serious. 244 00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:08,671 - What do you think, Rosa? - He seems cool. 245 00:09:08,672 --> 00:09:10,306 Yeah, he seems cool. I agree. 246 00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:13,142 Looks like the perp stole a computer, a watch, 247 00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:16,813 and a Jamon Iberico ham, valued at... what! 248 00:09:16,814 --> 00:09:18,381 $6,000. 249 00:09:18,382 --> 00:09:20,383 $6,000 for a ham? 250 00:09:20,384 --> 00:09:23,887 Jamon Iberico is an amazing cured ham from Spain. 251 00:09:23,888 --> 00:09:25,488 They had it at my uncle's funeral. 252 00:09:25,489 --> 00:09:27,824 I gorged myself at that funeral. 253 00:09:27,825 --> 00:09:29,492 I mean, I was constipated for three days. 254 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,861 Wow, that's a great story, Charles, thank you. 255 00:09:31,896 --> 00:09:33,696 All right, listen up, everybody. 256 00:09:33,731 --> 00:09:35,098 Better contact Captain Holt, 257 00:09:35,099 --> 00:09:36,399 let him know we got a ten-tie situation. 258 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:39,335 Speaking of ties, where's yours, meep morp? 259 00:09:39,336 --> 00:09:40,570 This is fantastic. 260 00:09:40,571 --> 00:09:42,238 Captain! Hey! 261 00:09:42,239 --> 00:09:44,607 Welcome to the murder. What are you doing here? 262 00:09:44,642 --> 00:09:46,009 I like to know what my detectives are up to. 263 00:09:46,010 --> 00:09:47,844 - That okay by you? - Yep. 264 00:09:47,845 --> 00:09:49,312 Take Santiago and knock on doors. 265 00:09:49,313 --> 00:09:50,713 See if the neighbors heard anything. 266 00:09:50,714 --> 00:09:52,148 Door duty? It's a waste of time. 267 00:09:52,149 --> 00:09:53,983 Diaz and Boyle. Check in the coroner. 268 00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:56,819 Report back to me in an hour. 269 00:09:56,820 --> 00:09:59,689 - That went well. - No, it didn't. 270 00:09:59,690 --> 00:10:02,358 He's got like super hearing. 271 00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,260 Hey, Rosa! Rosa. Rosa! 272 00:10:04,261 --> 00:10:07,997 Um, I just happened to notice 273 00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:09,666 that there's an old movie festival 274 00:10:09,667 --> 00:10:12,602 playing at the film forum this week. 275 00:10:12,603 --> 00:10:14,170 Wanna go? 276 00:10:14,204 --> 00:10:15,405 Sure. 277 00:10:15,439 --> 00:10:17,240 Cool! Awesome. 278 00:10:17,274 --> 00:10:19,042 There's a bunch of movie options. 279 00:10:19,043 --> 00:10:22,245 I'll probably just go with something classic 280 00:10:22,279 --> 00:10:23,913 like Citizen Kane. 281 00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:25,848 Citizen Kane is terrible. Pick a good movie. 282 00:10:25,849 --> 00:10:28,384 Good call. Smart. 283 00:10:28,385 --> 00:10:29,886 I'll do it. 284 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:33,523 I'll pick a better movie than Citizen Kane. 285 00:10:33,524 --> 00:10:35,224 So Gina... 286 00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:37,260 Civilian administrators like yourself 287 00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,062 often have their ear to the ground. 288 00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:40,597 What do Santiago and Peralta 289 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:41,998 have riding on this bet of theirs? 290 00:10:42,032 --> 00:10:44,601 I will tell you on six conditions. 291 00:10:44,635 --> 00:10:46,636 Number one, you let me use your office 292 00:10:46,637 --> 00:10:48,137 to practice my dance moves. 293 00:10:48,138 --> 00:10:49,272 Second... How about this? 294 00:10:49,306 --> 00:10:51,107 - If you tell me... - Mm-hmm. 295 00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:52,875 I won't have you suspended... 296 00:10:52,876 --> 00:10:54,010 Without pay. 297 00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:55,445 Oh, that sounds great. 298 00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:58,414 Okay, the deal is if Amy gets more arrests, 299 00:10:58,415 --> 00:11:00,383 Jake has to give her his car. 300 00:11:00,384 --> 00:11:02,652 It's an old Mustang, and it's pretty sweet. 301 00:11:02,653 --> 00:11:04,320 If he gets more arrests, 302 00:11:04,321 --> 00:11:07,056 she has to go on a date with him. 303 00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:10,560 He guarantees it will end in sex. 304 00:11:10,594 --> 00:11:13,596 I bet on at least some over-the-clothes action. 305 00:11:13,597 --> 00:11:15,264 At the very least, some touching... 306 00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:16,633 - No, that's enough, Gina. - Caresses. 307 00:11:16,667 --> 00:11:18,901 I could see him showing up in a silk robe. 308 00:11:18,936 --> 00:11:20,003 - That's enough, Gina. - All right. 309 00:11:20,004 --> 00:11:21,471 Thank you. 310 00:11:21,505 --> 00:11:23,906 Let the wasting of time begin. 311 00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:27,577 Hello, sir. 312 00:11:27,578 --> 00:11:28,945 Can we ask you a few questions? 313 00:11:28,946 --> 00:11:30,680 Definitely. Yeah. 314 00:11:30,681 --> 00:11:32,615 I'm actually... I'm super glad you guys are here right now. 315 00:11:32,616 --> 00:11:34,317 Are you smelling that weed smell? 316 00:11:34,351 --> 00:11:35,451 Yeah. 317 00:11:35,452 --> 00:11:36,452 'Cause a dude broke in, 318 00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,421 smoked weed, and bolted. 319 00:11:38,422 --> 00:11:39,789 It's... 320 00:11:39,823 --> 00:11:41,290 Do you think it's the same dude 321 00:11:41,291 --> 00:11:43,026 that left that bong there on the floor? 322 00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:45,595 Yes. 323 00:11:45,629 --> 00:11:48,798 Police! 324 00:11:48,799 --> 00:11:50,967 - Hello. - Hello. 325 00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:52,101 What's your name? 326 00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:53,369 - My name? - Mm-hmm. 327 00:11:53,370 --> 00:11:55,171 - Mlepnos. - Can you spell that, please? 328 00:11:55,172 --> 00:12:00,009 M-l-e-p... 329 00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:01,277 Clay. 330 00:12:01,278 --> 00:12:02,445 Did you say "Clay"? 331 00:12:02,446 --> 00:12:03,813 Yes, the "Clay" is silent. 332 00:12:03,847 --> 00:12:05,548 All right, got it. 333 00:12:05,549 --> 00:12:08,985 Have you seen this man before? He was shot last night. 334 00:12:08,986 --> 00:12:11,721 Oh. Thank you. 335 00:12:11,722 --> 00:12:13,456 No, sir, that's ours. We need that. 336 00:12:13,457 --> 00:12:15,458 - We... - And he kept it. 337 00:12:15,459 --> 00:12:17,160 Wall Street journal on the doormat... 338 00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:18,661 Top floor apartment. 339 00:12:18,662 --> 00:12:21,197 20 bucks says this guy's like a hot, eligible bachelor. 340 00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:22,465 I'll take that action. 341 00:12:22,466 --> 00:12:25,401 Police! Open up! 342 00:12:25,402 --> 00:12:27,370 Hello. 343 00:12:27,404 --> 00:12:28,971 Oh! Hello, sir! 344 00:12:28,972 --> 00:12:30,373 How are you today? 345 00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:32,008 I am Detective Right-All-The-Time, 346 00:12:32,009 --> 00:12:35,311 and this is my partner Detective Terrible Detective. 347 00:12:37,247 --> 00:12:38,715 No surprises from the coroner. 348 00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:40,416 A few gunshots, shoulder and chest. 349 00:12:40,417 --> 00:12:42,585 None of the neighbors heard or saw anything. 350 00:12:42,586 --> 00:12:45,822 And what's worse, Santiago struck out with a 92-year-old. 351 00:12:45,856 --> 00:12:47,156 That is not accurate, sir. 352 00:12:47,191 --> 00:12:49,025 Wait, you hooked up with him? Ugh! 353 00:12:49,026 --> 00:12:50,827 All right, hit the pawn shops and canvass the neighborhood. 354 00:12:50,861 --> 00:12:52,261 And while you're out, you can buy yourself a tie. 355 00:12:52,262 --> 00:12:53,730 Oh, actually, sir... 356 00:12:53,764 --> 00:12:55,698 I'm wearing a tie right now. 357 00:12:55,699 --> 00:12:57,266 Check it out. 358 00:12:57,267 --> 00:12:59,669 Secret tie. 359 00:12:59,703 --> 00:13:01,037 First of all, I think you're kind of overdoing it 360 00:13:01,038 --> 00:13:02,438 with the manscaping. 361 00:13:02,439 --> 00:13:03,906 But more importantly, Detective, 362 00:13:03,907 --> 00:13:06,075 why do you refuse to take my orders seriously? 363 00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:07,877 Does anyone here know why it's so important to me 364 00:13:07,911 --> 00:13:10,513 that you all dress appropriately? 365 00:13:10,514 --> 00:13:12,767 Hmm. Four highly trained detectives 366 00:13:12,783 --> 00:13:15,118 and not one of you can solve this simple mystery. 367 00:13:15,119 --> 00:13:17,620 I wanna be briefed on any new developments. 368 00:13:17,621 --> 00:13:19,055 Any questions? 369 00:13:19,056 --> 00:13:20,389 I was gonna ask you if you thought I was doing 370 00:13:20,390 --> 00:13:21,891 too much manscaping, but we solved that one. 371 00:13:21,892 --> 00:13:23,426 So I'm good. 372 00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:24,761 Hey, Boyle. 373 00:13:24,795 --> 00:13:26,529 - Yep. - What about this fancy ham stuff? 374 00:13:26,530 --> 00:13:28,097 - Jamon Iberico. - Yes. 375 00:13:28,132 --> 00:13:29,532 The perp left a really expensive TV 376 00:13:29,533 --> 00:13:31,934 but then stole ham? It doesn't make sense. 377 00:13:31,935 --> 00:13:34,437 Is there a place nearby the crime scene that sells it? 378 00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:36,405 - Beneficio's might. - Let's go. 379 00:13:36,406 --> 00:13:37,907 You gotta brief the C.O. first. 380 00:13:37,908 --> 00:13:40,810 We'll brief him after we catch the guy. 381 00:13:42,946 --> 00:13:44,947 My name is Ratko. I don't know anything. 382 00:13:44,948 --> 00:13:46,449 Oh, okay. 383 00:13:46,483 --> 00:13:47,817 You recognize this guy? 384 00:13:47,818 --> 00:13:51,220 - Henry Morgenthau? - No. 385 00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:53,790 Maybe actually look at the picture. 386 00:13:53,824 --> 00:13:55,825 I don't know him. I don't know what happened. 387 00:13:55,826 --> 00:13:57,426 No more questions. 388 00:13:57,427 --> 00:13:59,228 Well, why don't I run a scenario past you, Ratko, 389 00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:00,563 and you tell me what you think? 390 00:14:00,597 --> 00:14:01,964 You do know Morgenthau. 391 00:14:01,999 --> 00:14:03,232 He came in here and tried to sell you some hams. 392 00:14:03,233 --> 00:14:04,433 You knew they were worth a lotta money, 393 00:14:04,434 --> 00:14:05,568 so you tried to steal them from him 394 00:14:05,569 --> 00:14:06,736 when he wasn't home. 395 00:14:06,737 --> 00:14:07,937 Only he was home, so you shot him. 396 00:14:07,971 --> 00:14:10,006 Does that sound familiar? 397 00:14:10,007 --> 00:14:11,607 Uh, maybe some role play will jog your memory? 398 00:14:11,608 --> 00:14:12,775 - Great idea. - Okay, yeah. 399 00:14:12,776 --> 00:14:13,810 Okay. 400 00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:16,279 - So I'm... I'm Ratko. - No, no, I'm Ratko. 401 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:17,847 Come on. I'm always the victim. 402 00:14:17,848 --> 00:14:19,482 Look, I'm doing this with you right here. 403 00:14:19,516 --> 00:14:20,650 Fine, fine. 404 00:14:20,684 --> 00:14:22,485 Oh! I'm Henry Morgenthau, 405 00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:25,121 owner of delicious and expensive hams. 406 00:14:25,122 --> 00:14:26,622 Don't I know you from the grocery store? 407 00:14:26,623 --> 00:14:28,858 Kill! And scene. 408 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,162 NYPD! Everyone down! 409 00:14:33,197 --> 00:14:34,630 Ma'am, if you could just get down, 410 00:14:34,631 --> 00:14:36,432 or... ignore me and continue shopping. 411 00:14:36,433 --> 00:14:38,968 - Boyle, get the door! - On it! 412 00:14:39,002 --> 00:14:41,704 Ratko! 413 00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:45,041 Oh! 414 00:14:45,943 --> 00:14:48,177 Ow! 415 00:14:49,780 --> 00:14:51,848 Ha ha ha! 416 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:57,753 Ow, Ratko, ow! 417 00:14:57,788 --> 00:14:58,988 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Ratko! 418 00:14:58,989 --> 00:15:00,056 I'm getting mad! 419 00:15:00,057 --> 00:15:01,591 That's a waste of manchego! 420 00:15:01,625 --> 00:15:02,959 Charles! 421 00:15:05,996 --> 00:15:08,464 - How are you still here? - Jake! 422 00:15:08,498 --> 00:15:09,999 Little help! 423 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,934 Ratko! He's not going anywhere, Jake! 424 00:15:11,969 --> 00:15:13,302 Ratko! 425 00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:14,804 I got him! I got him! 426 00:15:14,805 --> 00:15:18,074 Don't worry! 427 00:15:18,075 --> 00:15:20,977 So no, I did not brief you. 428 00:15:20,978 --> 00:15:22,745 And yes, he did get away. 429 00:15:22,746 --> 00:15:25,715 But some bonus good news... 430 00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:27,984 I got you hazelnut. 431 00:15:28,018 --> 00:15:30,319 And... 432 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,322 A little spoon there for you. 433 00:15:35,533 --> 00:15:36,937 Is he seriously assigning me 434 00:15:36,938 --> 00:15:38,439 to the records room? 435 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,274 I mean, why do we even have a records room? 436 00:15:40,275 --> 00:15:41,775 Computer's been invented, right? I didn't dream it? 437 00:15:41,776 --> 00:15:43,210 You're lucky, man. 438 00:15:43,211 --> 00:15:45,713 I wish I could get assigned here full-time. 439 00:15:45,714 --> 00:15:49,416 You could not be farther from the action. 440 00:15:49,451 --> 00:15:51,618 Sergeant, you know me. I have more arrests than anyone. 441 00:15:51,619 --> 00:15:53,187 Will you please tell the Captain how dumb it is 442 00:15:53,188 --> 00:15:55,263 to lock his best Detective in a file cabinet? 443 00:15:55,290 --> 00:15:57,357 - Second best. - You're wrong about Holt. 444 00:15:57,392 --> 00:15:58,759 That man has forgotten more about being a cop 445 00:15:58,793 --> 00:16:00,928 than you will ever know. 446 00:16:00,929 --> 00:16:04,264 In 1981, he caught the disco strangler. 447 00:16:06,301 --> 00:16:07,868 It's over, disco man! 448 00:16:07,869 --> 00:16:10,771 Put down the yo-yo and back away from the girl. 449 00:16:12,974 --> 00:16:14,374 Wow. 450 00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:17,711 The man is the real deal. You need to listen to him. 451 00:16:17,746 --> 00:16:19,379 Gonna be hard to win our bet 452 00:16:19,414 --> 00:16:21,148 when you're on the bench, Peralta. 453 00:16:21,149 --> 00:16:24,551 Although I did start a new category. 454 00:16:24,552 --> 00:16:26,186 "Murderers we let go." 455 00:16:26,221 --> 00:16:27,621 And look at that. 456 00:16:27,655 --> 00:16:30,357 You're winning. 457 00:16:30,391 --> 00:16:31,925 Have fun with your files. 458 00:16:31,926 --> 00:16:33,393 Yeah, you know what, I will have fun with my files. 459 00:16:33,394 --> 00:16:37,064 Have fun with your face! 460 00:16:37,065 --> 00:16:38,799 Slam! 461 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,601 That was a slam. 462 00:16:43,705 --> 00:16:45,572 So what movie did you get us tickets to? 463 00:16:45,573 --> 00:16:47,007 Oh, well, just to be safe, 464 00:16:47,008 --> 00:16:49,309 I bought tickets to all of them. 465 00:16:49,344 --> 00:16:51,145 Just to be safe? What does that mean? 466 00:16:51,179 --> 00:16:53,914 I don't know, I didn't wanna mess up. 467 00:16:53,915 --> 00:16:56,650 Because you're sort of... Opinionated. 468 00:16:56,651 --> 00:16:58,786 You think I'm opinionated? Okay, here's an opinion for you. 469 00:16:58,820 --> 00:17:00,487 You're a bad judge of character 470 00:17:00,488 --> 00:17:02,623 and your shirt looks like vomit. 471 00:17:02,624 --> 00:17:04,892 So we can go see North by Northwest. 472 00:17:04,926 --> 00:17:06,059 We're not seeing a movie together. 473 00:17:06,094 --> 00:17:07,561 Good call. Smart. 474 00:17:07,595 --> 00:17:08,862 Keep it profesh. 475 00:17:19,941 --> 00:17:21,675 - Hey, Captain. - So you found something? 476 00:17:21,709 --> 00:17:23,310 Hey, I like the tie. 477 00:17:23,344 --> 00:17:25,712 If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. 478 00:17:25,713 --> 00:17:27,281 Anyway, I think I got something good here. 479 00:17:27,282 --> 00:17:29,283 Turns out the name "Ratko" is made up. 480 00:17:29,284 --> 00:17:30,884 But I was digging through these files... 481 00:17:30,885 --> 00:17:33,453 One of which I literally found in a spider web... 482 00:17:33,454 --> 00:17:34,988 And it turns out there were a bunch of references 483 00:17:34,989 --> 00:17:36,456 to a serbian thug, 484 00:17:36,457 --> 00:17:38,292 street names "the rat" and "the butcher," 485 00:17:38,326 --> 00:17:40,360 who's known to hang out at a storage unit 486 00:17:40,361 --> 00:17:43,397 near Boerum Park, which has red soil, 487 00:17:43,398 --> 00:17:47,267 hence, the muddy red footprint on Morgenthau's counter. 488 00:17:47,302 --> 00:17:49,878 That's fine work, Detective. 489 00:17:49,904 --> 00:17:51,805 Thank you very much, sir. 490 00:17:51,806 --> 00:17:53,507 Testament to what can be achieved 491 00:17:53,508 --> 00:17:56,210 when you dress appropriately. 492 00:17:56,211 --> 00:17:58,212 Let's pound it out. 493 00:18:00,748 --> 00:18:04,418 You know what, such fine police work, 494 00:18:04,419 --> 00:18:06,453 let's share it with the whole team. 495 00:18:06,487 --> 00:18:08,989 Santiago! Boyle! Diaz! Get in here! 496 00:18:09,023 --> 00:18:10,691 Bring everyone! And a camera! 497 00:18:10,725 --> 00:18:14,079 That's not necessary. Oh, they're here! 498 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,730 Of the fine master Detective, Jake Peralta. 499 00:18:16,731 --> 00:18:17,764 Yeah, let's have a hand, everyone. 500 00:18:17,765 --> 00:18:20,067 - Give him a hand. - Yeah, nice! 501 00:18:21,436 --> 00:18:22,536 Looking good! 502 00:18:22,537 --> 00:18:24,004 Yeah. Thank you. 503 00:18:24,038 --> 00:18:25,939 No record of Ratko on the ledger. 504 00:18:25,940 --> 00:18:27,474 Must've used cash. 505 00:18:27,508 --> 00:18:29,343 Well, I, for one, am just pumped 506 00:18:29,344 --> 00:18:31,245 to be on a stakeout with you, Captain. 507 00:18:31,246 --> 00:18:33,513 You know what my favorite thing about stakeouts is? 508 00:18:33,514 --> 00:18:35,916 Patrol guide says "no dress code." 509 00:18:35,917 --> 00:18:39,453 So I'm just the zip-up hoodie and my two best friends. 510 00:18:39,454 --> 00:18:41,088 Does he always talk this much? 511 00:18:41,089 --> 00:18:42,522 I just tune it out. 512 00:18:42,523 --> 00:18:43,991 It's like a white noise machine. 513 00:18:44,025 --> 00:18:46,093 Okay, first of all, that's racist. 514 00:18:46,127 --> 00:18:47,928 Secondly, Captain, 515 00:18:47,929 --> 00:18:50,364 Terry told me you caught the disco strangler. 516 00:18:50,365 --> 00:18:52,933 That's incredible. I've read that case. 517 00:18:52,967 --> 00:18:54,768 With all due respect, sir, 518 00:18:54,769 --> 00:18:57,638 why'd it take you so long to get your first command? 519 00:18:57,639 --> 00:18:58,939 Because I'm gay. 520 00:18:58,940 --> 00:19:01,875 Ah. 521 00:19:01,876 --> 00:19:03,810 Seriously? 522 00:19:03,811 --> 00:19:05,445 I'm surprised you didn't know. 523 00:19:05,446 --> 00:19:08,715 I don't try to hide it. 524 00:19:13,254 --> 00:19:16,990 Did anyone else get a little bit of a gay vibe? 525 00:19:16,991 --> 00:19:20,694 Manscaping. 526 00:19:20,728 --> 00:19:22,996 Damn! 527 00:19:22,997 --> 00:19:25,732 I am not a good Detective. 528 00:19:25,733 --> 00:19:27,601 Here. 529 00:19:27,602 --> 00:19:29,102 I feel bad that you spent all that money on the movie tickets. 530 00:19:29,137 --> 00:19:30,337 Why don't you just go to the movies with me? 531 00:19:30,338 --> 00:19:32,572 Nope. 532 00:19:33,007 --> 00:19:36,243 Okay. 533 00:19:36,244 --> 00:19:37,978 Well, this is awkward. 534 00:19:38,012 --> 00:19:39,780 It's not awkward. 535 00:19:39,781 --> 00:19:41,415 I like your company. 536 00:19:41,449 --> 00:19:45,752 You're sweet. 537 00:19:45,787 --> 00:19:47,254 When did you come out? 538 00:19:47,255 --> 00:19:48,956 About 25 years ago. 539 00:19:48,990 --> 00:19:53,126 The NYPD was not ready for an openly gay Detective. 540 00:19:53,127 --> 00:19:55,028 But then the old guard died out. 541 00:19:55,029 --> 00:19:57,264 Suddenly, they couldn't wait to show off the fact 542 00:19:57,265 --> 00:19:59,399 that they had a highly ranking gay officer. 543 00:19:59,434 --> 00:20:00,934 I made Captain. 544 00:20:00,935 --> 00:20:04,004 But they put me in a public affairs unit. 545 00:20:04,038 --> 00:20:06,139 I was a good soldier. I helped recruitment. 546 00:20:06,140 --> 00:20:10,177 But all I ever really wanted was my own command. 547 00:20:10,178 --> 00:20:13,113 And now I finally got it. 548 00:20:13,114 --> 00:20:15,749 And I'm not gonna screw it up. 549 00:20:15,783 --> 00:20:18,485 Captain, I'm sorry. I... 550 00:20:18,486 --> 00:20:20,620 I feel like a jackass. 551 00:20:23,992 --> 00:20:26,760 But on the flip side, there's Ratko. 552 00:20:26,794 --> 00:20:29,129 Humility over. I'm amazing! 553 00:20:34,820 --> 00:20:37,211 Fantastic. 3,000 identical blue doors. 554 00:20:37,238 --> 00:20:39,329 Looks like we all got door duty. 555 00:20:39,330 --> 00:20:41,575 Ah, yeah. From before. 556 00:20:41,576 --> 00:20:45,361 Good one. You look great. 557 00:20:47,085 --> 00:20:48,749 Clear. 558 00:20:53,192 --> 00:20:55,088 Clear. 559 00:21:05,066 --> 00:21:07,234 Okay. 560 00:21:07,268 --> 00:21:08,635 Unbelievable! 561 00:21:08,669 --> 00:21:10,337 Un-believable! 562 00:21:20,948 --> 00:21:21,982 Ah. 563 00:21:22,016 --> 00:21:23,884 Ratko, great to see you. 564 00:21:23,918 --> 00:21:26,186 You can't stop me. 565 00:21:26,187 --> 00:21:27,587 I'm going. 566 00:21:27,622 --> 00:21:30,791 Actually, you're not going anywhere. 567 00:21:30,792 --> 00:21:32,526 'Cause if you take a look to your left, 568 00:21:32,527 --> 00:21:35,495 you'll see Detective's Boyle and Diaz. 569 00:21:35,530 --> 00:21:38,265 Right there is Detective Santiago. 570 00:21:38,299 --> 00:21:40,367 And behind you is Captain Holt. 571 00:21:40,368 --> 00:21:42,936 Point is... My team has you surrounded. 572 00:21:42,937 --> 00:21:45,172 Oh, my God, I just got the tie thing! 573 00:21:45,206 --> 00:21:47,140 Captain, I just figured it out. 574 00:21:47,175 --> 00:21:49,342 Maybe now's not the best time, Detective. 575 00:21:49,377 --> 00:21:50,877 It's a uniform! 576 00:21:50,878 --> 00:21:52,979 We're a team, and the tie is a part 577 00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:54,781 of that team's uniform, right? 578 00:21:54,816 --> 00:21:56,049 You ask Ratko what team? 579 00:21:56,084 --> 00:21:57,217 No, Ratko, shut up. 580 00:21:57,218 --> 00:21:58,618 It's important to you 581 00:21:58,619 --> 00:21:59,920 because you were kept off the team for so long. 582 00:21:59,921 --> 00:22:01,288 And now you're the coach, 583 00:22:01,289 --> 00:22:03,824 and you want us to all wear that same uniform. 584 00:22:03,825 --> 00:22:05,258 Boom! Nailed it! 585 00:22:05,259 --> 00:22:08,161 Yes, you did. Now just arrest Ratko. 586 00:22:08,162 --> 00:22:10,097 All right, Ratko, down. Drop the weapon. 587 00:22:10,098 --> 00:22:13,133 Hands on your head. Here we go. 588 00:22:13,134 --> 00:22:15,135 - Hey! - He's running! 589 00:22:15,169 --> 00:22:16,770 Oh! Got him! 590 00:22:16,771 --> 00:22:18,572 Hands behind your back! Hands behind your back! 591 00:22:18,573 --> 00:22:20,107 Stay down. 592 00:22:20,108 --> 00:22:22,409 That's how we do it in the nine-nine, sir. 593 00:22:22,410 --> 00:22:24,978 Catch bad guys and look good doing it. 594 00:22:26,593 --> 00:22:27,783 What's wrong with you? 595 00:22:27,784 --> 00:22:29,659 Never took off the speedo. Big mistake. 596 00:22:29,660 --> 00:22:32,229 It is inside me. Great work, team! 597 00:22:35,751 --> 00:22:38,829 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.Addic7ed.Com/