1
00:00:04,529 --> 00:00:06,530
We've busted murderers,
we've taken down cartels.
2
00:00:06,531 --> 00:00:09,366
But today we face the worst
New York has to offer...
3
00:00:09,401 --> 00:00:13,137
The fire department.
4
00:00:13,171 --> 00:00:15,239
Fire marshal Boone,
we meet again.
5
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,141
Detective Peralta,
your fly's down.
6
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,809
I made you look.
I didn't look.
7
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,778
And I'm wearing shorts,
there is no fly.
8
00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:21,845
That's not
what your mom said.
9
00:00:21,846 --> 00:00:22,980
You make no sense.
10
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,615
And now I'm inside your head.
11
00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:26,450
Prepare to die.
12
00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:27,951
Blue 52. Hut.
13
00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:34,491
Yeah!
14
00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:38,495
♪ Nothing's gonna
ever keep you down ♪
15
00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:41,865
♪ You're the best around
16
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:48,472
Ah, ah, ah.
17
00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:50,893
You don't have
to dance every time.
18
00:00:50,909 --> 00:00:54,178
True, but I choose
to dance every time.
19
00:00:55,713 --> 00:00:56,713
Whoo!
20
00:00:56,714 --> 00:00:57,848
You have one play.
21
00:00:57,849 --> 00:00:59,016
You give the ball to Jeffords,
22
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,384
and he runs it in.
23
00:01:00,385 --> 00:01:02,553
I-I'd like to see
you score one.
24
00:01:02,587 --> 00:01:03,921
Good, 'cause you're
about to see it.
25
00:01:03,922 --> 00:01:07,658
You're about to see it
straight to hell.
26
00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:09,059
Hut, hut.
27
00:01:09,094 --> 00:01:10,260
♪ You're the best
28
00:01:10,261 --> 00:01:12,429
now, Terry.
29
00:01:12,464 --> 00:01:14,865
♪ Nothing's gonna
ever keep you down ♪
30
00:01:14,899 --> 00:01:16,433
Yeah!
31
00:01:16,434 --> 00:01:18,602
I did it.
I did it alone.
32
00:01:18,603 --> 00:01:21,905
I'm the King of the world!
Whoo!
33
00:01:21,906 --> 00:01:25,628
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
34
00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:44,128
♪ Cream in my coffee
and rock and roll ♪
35
00:01:44,162 --> 00:01:45,562
Peralta.
36
00:01:45,597 --> 00:01:46,663
Ah, Captain Holt.
37
00:01:46,664 --> 00:01:48,732
You look very... sad?
38
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:49,933
I can never tell.
39
00:01:49,968 --> 00:01:51,602
Do you have a murder suspect
to question?
40
00:01:51,603 --> 00:01:53,637
He is in the interrogation room
as we speak,
41
00:01:53,638 --> 00:01:56,140
sitting and,
I assume, stewing.
42
00:01:56,141 --> 00:01:57,808
I put on a song
that I think
43
00:01:57,809 --> 00:01:59,443
sums up his situation nicely.
44
00:02:01,346 --> 00:02:03,881
♪ I got you, babe
45
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:05,249
because, you see...
46
00:02:05,283 --> 00:02:06,783
You got him, babe.
47
00:02:06,784 --> 00:02:08,452
I understood the wordplay, yes.
48
00:02:08,453 --> 00:02:10,687
Oh. I've been chasing this guy
for three months.
49
00:02:10,688 --> 00:02:12,189
I've got him dead to rights.
50
00:02:12,190 --> 00:02:14,558
Fingerprints, witnesses,
it's in the bag.
51
00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:17,494
So I'm just gonna grab
a healthy breakfast...
52
00:02:17,529 --> 00:02:20,797
Are those gummy bears
wrapped in a fruit roll-up?
53
00:02:20,798 --> 00:02:22,833
Breakfast burrito, but yeah.
54
00:02:22,867 --> 00:02:24,535
I pity your dentist.
55
00:02:24,536 --> 00:02:26,837
Ah, joke's on you.
I don't have a dentist.
56
00:02:26,838 --> 00:02:28,772
Jake, Jake.
57
00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:30,007
Uh-oh, this can't be good.
58
00:02:30,008 --> 00:02:32,276
Major crimes division
just called.
59
00:02:32,310 --> 00:02:34,011
They're taking over
your murder case.
60
00:02:34,012 --> 00:02:36,914
The vulture is
on his way here now.
61
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,182
No! Doesn't that guy
62
00:02:38,183 --> 00:02:39,616
get tired
of stealing our cases?
63
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,818
He took one from me and Rosa
last week.
64
00:02:41,819 --> 00:02:43,923
NYPD. Stop!
65
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,189
Ugh. You made us run up
ten flights of stairs.
66
00:02:45,190 --> 00:02:46,467
It's over.
67
00:02:46,491 --> 00:02:50,294
Thanks, guys.
I got it from here.
68
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,890
Don't worry, we can stall him
until you get the confession.
69
00:02:52,897 --> 00:02:55,132
We rehearsed this, you guys.
This isn't a drill.
70
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:57,034
Everyone know
their assignments?
71
00:02:57,035 --> 00:02:58,569
All right, hands in.
72
00:02:58,570 --> 00:03:00,270
Broken feather.
73
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,439
And go!
74
00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:03,874
Okay, Gus,
75
00:03:03,875 --> 00:03:05,209
I don't have a lot of time.
76
00:03:05,210 --> 00:03:07,377
I need your full,
signed confession.
77
00:03:07,412 --> 00:03:09,313
We have four minutes.
We can do this.
78
00:03:09,347 --> 00:03:11,648
But I'm not guilty.
Listen to me, Gus.
79
00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:14,384
We can do this, son.
80
00:03:14,419 --> 00:03:17,654
Yo, is this a police station
or a toilet?
81
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:20,084
'Cause all I see is turds.
82
00:03:20,091 --> 00:03:21,825
Oh, Detective Pembroke.
83
00:03:25,263 --> 00:03:26,530
Oh, no.
84
00:03:26,531 --> 00:03:28,131
I spilled coffee on you
by accident.
85
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,267
Lucky for you,
this wipes off quickly.
86
00:03:30,268 --> 00:03:31,969
This coat's made
out of whale skin.
87
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:34,932
The vulture still flies.
The vulture still flies.
88
00:03:36,241 --> 00:03:37,874
Hey, Pembroke.
89
00:03:37,875 --> 00:03:39,376
What do you say we go talk
about a case in the break room?
90
00:03:39,410 --> 00:03:40,744
Oh, yeah?
What case is that?
91
00:03:40,778 --> 00:03:42,679
The case of how you got
so damn sexy.
92
00:03:42,714 --> 00:03:44,047
God owed me a favor.
93
00:03:44,048 --> 00:03:45,849
Case solved.
94
00:03:45,883 --> 00:03:47,784
I told you,
I didn't know the guy.
95
00:03:47,785 --> 00:03:50,053
You're lying.
We have pictures of you two.
96
00:03:50,054 --> 00:03:51,755
Come on, we only
have three minutes.
97
00:03:51,756 --> 00:03:53,450
It's like you're not even
trying to confess!
98
00:03:53,458 --> 00:03:54,658
The vulture is coming.
99
00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:55,792
We need more time.
100
00:03:55,793 --> 00:03:56,827
Someone do something.
101
00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:59,463
I got it.
Tear gas.
102
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,268
Scully, Scully,
103
00:04:04,302 --> 00:04:06,136
wrap my shirt
around your face.
104
00:04:08,473 --> 00:04:11,708
And out of the tear gas
rises the Phoenix.
105
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,078
Hey, Peralta.
106
00:04:15,079 --> 00:04:16,079
I got it from here.
107
00:04:16,114 --> 00:04:18,348
All right, fine.
108
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,217
I'll just go then...
109
00:04:20,251 --> 00:04:22,786
With this fully signed
confession.
110
00:04:22,787 --> 00:04:24,721
We did it, Gus!
Whoo!
111
00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,056
Suck it, vulture.
112
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:27,624
I killed that guy
and his neighbor,
113
00:04:27,625 --> 00:04:29,359
but you were too late.
114
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:32,496
Whoo!
Wait, you killed his neighbor?
115
00:04:32,497 --> 00:04:34,631
Amy, check it out.
116
00:04:34,632 --> 00:04:37,134
Nice, you got it framed?
Of course.
117
00:04:37,168 --> 00:04:39,002
It commemorates our victory
over the vulture,
118
00:04:39,003 --> 00:04:40,937
the greatest day
in human history.
119
00:04:40,938 --> 00:04:42,506
Sorry the tear gas
made you look like
120
00:04:42,507 --> 00:04:44,335
a demon dog at the end
of ghostbusters.
121
00:04:44,342 --> 00:04:46,777
Brief me
on the hotel robberies.
122
00:04:46,811 --> 00:04:49,012
Helpful hint to the scientists
that programmed you,
123
00:04:49,013 --> 00:04:50,147
most humans say "hello"
124
00:04:50,148 --> 00:04:51,748
at the beginning
of a conversation.
125
00:04:51,783 --> 00:04:53,650
Manager at the prentiss hotel
told us that
126
00:04:53,685 --> 00:04:55,018
someone's been breaking
into the rooms,
127
00:04:55,019 --> 00:04:56,787
stolen over $100,000
in jewelry.
128
00:04:56,788 --> 00:04:58,155
We're heading over there now.
129
00:04:58,189 --> 00:05:00,590
Keep me updated.
Another helpful hint...
130
00:05:00,625 --> 00:05:03,360
Good-bye. It's learning.
131
00:05:03,361 --> 00:05:04,897
What?
132
00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:08,732
Man, an hour of footage,
and we've got nothing.
133
00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:11,403
I have to admit, I do love
a thorough vacuumer.
134
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,003
I'm a little o.C.D.
135
00:05:13,037 --> 00:05:15,872
What? No, you're not.
136
00:05:15,873 --> 00:05:17,007
Whoop.
137
00:05:18,710 --> 00:05:19,976
I can leave it there.
138
00:05:20,011 --> 00:05:21,812
Totally.
It doesn't bother me.
139
00:05:21,846 --> 00:05:23,613
I know.
140
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:26,316
There it is.
141
00:05:26,317 --> 00:05:28,018
All right, let's get started.
142
00:05:28,052 --> 00:05:30,253
So we have good news,
and we have bad news.
143
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:31,722
My Nana always said,
"bad news first,
144
00:05:31,723 --> 00:05:33,890
because the good news
is probably a lie."
145
00:05:33,891 --> 00:05:36,026
Fun fact,
she made me cry a lot.
146
00:05:36,060 --> 00:05:37,627
Good news is,
the sting we set up
147
00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,296
to catch deadbeats went great.
148
00:05:39,330 --> 00:05:41,965
Name's bill voss,
just got this thing in the mail,
149
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:44,034
said I won
a free Bahamas cruise!
150
00:05:44,068 --> 00:05:45,535
Congratulations, bill.
151
00:05:45,536 --> 00:05:48,772
You have six outstanding
warrants for credit fraud.
152
00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:51,708
Oh, man, can't it wait till
I get back from the Bahamas?
153
00:05:51,709 --> 00:05:53,343
I won a cruise.
154
00:05:53,344 --> 00:05:54,911
You're not very bright,
are you, bill?
155
00:05:54,912 --> 00:05:56,580
Now I know you'd all prefer
to go to a bar,
156
00:05:56,581 --> 00:05:59,583
drink beer, and eat chips
of various textures.
157
00:05:59,584 --> 00:06:02,052
But our compstat numbers
are due tomorrow morning,
158
00:06:02,053 --> 00:06:06,156
so I need these arrests
on the books today.
159
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:08,091
Darn it. I had
a belly dancing class.
160
00:06:08,092 --> 00:06:09,860
Tonight was
Egyptian undulation.
161
00:06:09,894 --> 00:06:11,528
Oh, show us some moves.
162
00:06:11,562 --> 00:06:14,030
Sure. Dismissed.
163
00:06:15,767 --> 00:06:19,202
First batch of arrest files
is done-zo Washington.
164
00:06:19,237 --> 00:06:20,437
There's only three files here.
165
00:06:20,438 --> 00:06:22,239
It's been an hour.
Yeah, I know.
166
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,184
It has not been
a productive morning.
167
00:06:24,208 --> 00:06:25,675
For example, somebody
168
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:27,604
used the toaster
in front of Boyle.
169
00:06:27,612 --> 00:06:29,815
No. No, no, no, no.
Tommy?
170
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:32,182
And then Boyle
spent 30 minutes
171
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:36,019
lecturing him
on how to make a sandwich.
172
00:06:36,053 --> 00:06:37,621
I'd describe
the work flow today
173
00:06:37,622 --> 00:06:40,891
as dismal with a tiny,
little splash of pathetic.
174
00:06:42,894 --> 00:06:44,413
Get me out of here, man.
175
00:06:44,429 --> 00:06:46,062
I'm worried.
176
00:06:46,063 --> 00:06:47,564
The compstat numbers are due
tomorrow at 9:00 A.M.,
177
00:06:47,565 --> 00:06:49,399
but at this rate,
we won't be finished
178
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,420
until your daughters
are grown and married.
179
00:06:51,436 --> 00:06:52,602
I may have a solution.
180
00:06:52,637 --> 00:06:55,005
We need
to compstat the office.
181
00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:56,072
What is compstat?
182
00:06:56,107 --> 00:06:57,474
It's just using data
183
00:06:57,475 --> 00:07:00,043
to identify problem spots
in the neighborhood.
184
00:07:00,077 --> 00:07:02,879
Now, I have been taking notes
185
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,851
on points of friction
in this office for years.
186
00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:08,819
The red areas are places
where no work gets done.
187
00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:10,720
If we can fix these problems
188
00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:12,989
without anyone
knowing what we're doing,
189
00:07:12,990 --> 00:07:14,860
we will finish on time.
190
00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:16,993
Are you saying you want
to secretly perform
191
00:07:16,994 --> 00:07:18,895
scientific experiments
on your friends
192
00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:21,631
and coworkers
to increase efficiency?
193
00:07:21,666 --> 00:07:24,000
Yes.
194
00:07:24,001 --> 00:07:25,936
Sounds fun, let's do it.
195
00:07:25,937 --> 00:07:28,238
Hey, hand me some peanuts.
I'm snacky.
196
00:07:28,272 --> 00:07:30,140
I have something I need
to talk to you about.
197
00:07:30,174 --> 00:07:33,143
I might get a promotion
to major crimes.
198
00:07:33,144 --> 00:07:35,479
They asked me to come in
and interview for a job.
199
00:07:35,513 --> 00:07:37,047
What?
200
00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:38,715
You're gonna go work
for the vulture?
201
00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:40,617
Have you forgotten
how awful he is?
202
00:07:42,186 --> 00:07:44,014
The Vladimir putin collection?
203
00:07:44,021 --> 00:07:45,822
Yeah, 70 bucks a pair.
204
00:07:45,823 --> 00:07:47,624
And they only increase
in value.
205
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:52,762
I guess that's your new
best friend now, Santiago.
206
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:55,359
Emphasis on "iago,"
backstabber.
207
00:07:55,366 --> 00:07:56,933
I'm surprised
you've read othello.
208
00:07:56,968 --> 00:07:58,502
What the hell's othello?
209
00:07:58,503 --> 00:07:59,870
I'm calling you the parrot
from Aladdin.
210
00:07:59,871 --> 00:08:01,771
I wouldn't be working
for the vulture.
211
00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:04,674
I'd be working with him
in data analysis.
212
00:08:04,709 --> 00:08:07,611
Oh, it's just
a lousy desk job?
213
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:10,180
Okay, never mind.
You're not gonna do that.
214
00:08:10,181 --> 00:08:11,781
You love working cases
too much.
215
00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:13,950
We're gonna catch this perp.
216
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,452
You're gonna remember how much
you love your job.
217
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:16,620
You're gonna
skip that interview.
218
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,255
And that's a Peralta guarantee.
219
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:19,656
Your last Peralta guarantee
was that
220
00:08:19,657 --> 00:08:21,358
you could dunk a basketball.
221
00:08:21,359 --> 00:08:23,059
I never said I couldn't
use a ladder.
222
00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:25,328
Peralta guarantee achieved.
223
00:08:26,330 --> 00:08:27,898
Aah!
224
00:08:27,899 --> 00:08:29,533
The subtext of the guarantee
was that
225
00:08:29,534 --> 00:08:31,562
you would be entertained,
and you were.
226
00:08:31,569 --> 00:08:33,169
Let's go!
227
00:08:33,959 --> 00:08:35,846
Okay, so I've already
taken care
228
00:08:35,847 --> 00:08:37,314
of a few obvious problems.
229
00:08:37,315 --> 00:08:38,715
I moved the toaster
to the break room,
230
00:08:38,716 --> 00:08:40,350
far away from Boyle.
231
00:08:40,351 --> 00:08:41,351
Good.
What's this red area here,
232
00:08:41,386 --> 00:08:43,320
the Diaz triangle?
233
00:08:43,321 --> 00:08:45,823
Right, so you know
about Rosa's anger incidents.
234
00:08:45,824 --> 00:08:48,559
It's my birthday.
I hate birthdays.
235
00:08:48,593 --> 00:08:50,394
If you wish me
a Happy Birthday,
236
00:08:50,428 --> 00:08:51,829
I will punch you.
237
00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:53,163
You're a funny little bird,
Diaz.
238
00:08:53,164 --> 00:08:55,065
Happy Birthday.
239
00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:57,067
Any time mt. Diaz erupts,
240
00:08:57,068 --> 00:08:58,802
everyone on the squad
avoids her.
241
00:08:58,837 --> 00:09:00,704
Mt. Diaz.
Humorous, yes.
242
00:09:00,738 --> 00:09:02,673
Tell me,
what room is just
243
00:09:02,674 --> 00:09:04,508
down the hall from her desk?
244
00:09:04,509 --> 00:09:06,910
The bathroom.
245
00:09:06,945 --> 00:09:09,446
If people are afraid
to walk by Diaz,
246
00:09:09,447 --> 00:09:13,217
bathroom breaks
would be to a minimum.
247
00:09:13,251 --> 00:09:15,619
Hey, Diaz,
I just need
248
00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:19,456
to make sure I've got
the details right in this file.
249
00:09:19,457 --> 00:09:21,291
Yeah, guy was
passing bad checks.
250
00:09:21,292 --> 00:09:23,093
But is this the same guy?
251
00:09:23,094 --> 00:09:26,196
Yeah, the name here
is the same name on the checks.
252
00:09:26,197 --> 00:09:27,731
Ca-caw!
253
00:09:27,732 --> 00:09:29,633
Okay, all right, thank you,
thank you. Ca-caw!
254
00:09:29,634 --> 00:09:31,969
Got it.
255
00:09:33,705 --> 00:09:34,938
Come on!
256
00:09:34,973 --> 00:09:37,508
I'm so sick
of these sucky computers.
257
00:09:37,542 --> 00:09:40,077
Aah!
258
00:09:43,548 --> 00:09:46,049
One more step
and you're next.
259
00:09:48,386 --> 00:09:50,420
NYPD.
260
00:09:53,291 --> 00:09:54,324
Oh, boy.
261
00:09:54,325 --> 00:09:55,592
NYPD, sir.
262
00:09:55,593 --> 00:09:57,461
Have you seen
anything unusual today?
263
00:09:57,462 --> 00:10:00,264
Oh, no.
264
00:10:00,265 --> 00:10:01,265
This was nice, thank you.
265
00:10:01,266 --> 00:10:03,166
Wait, wait, wait.
266
00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:04,701
What is this music?
267
00:10:04,736 --> 00:10:07,905
Leirkrakeegovnia.
268
00:10:07,906 --> 00:10:10,107
Do you like it?
I weirdly do.
269
00:10:10,141 --> 00:10:12,676
♪ meil on fun ♪
270
00:10:12,677 --> 00:10:16,246
♪ Me teeme asju
mis on ponev ♪
271
00:10:16,281 --> 00:10:19,383
♪ Olemme sobrad kasu ♪
272
00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:21,418
See, Amy, fun thing
about working cases,
273
00:10:21,419 --> 00:10:23,587
you meet people
from all over the world.
274
00:10:23,588 --> 00:10:25,188
This song
is a celebration song
275
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:27,357
from when a dog
loses its virginity.
276
00:10:27,358 --> 00:10:29,226
Who checks that?
277
00:10:29,260 --> 00:10:31,695
I was having a smoke,
and I saw a bellboy
278
00:10:31,696 --> 00:10:33,797
take his jacket off
and throw it in the dumpster,
279
00:10:33,798 --> 00:10:35,465
then go back inside.
280
00:10:35,466 --> 00:10:36,767
Well, that's unusual.
281
00:10:36,768 --> 00:10:38,101
Yeah, that's why
I'm telling you.
282
00:10:38,102 --> 00:10:40,304
Looks like we are going
dumpster diving.
283
00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:41,705
Great.
284
00:10:41,706 --> 00:10:44,608
♪ Come with me, Amy,
to the dumpster ♪
285
00:10:44,609 --> 00:10:47,344
♪ Me and Amy going diving
in the dumpster ♪
286
00:10:47,378 --> 00:10:48,845
I can't believe
you would ever
287
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,180
consider leaving this job.
288
00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:52,382
This is real police work,
and you love it.
289
00:10:52,383 --> 00:10:53,951
Remember that time you had
to shove your hand
290
00:10:53,952 --> 00:10:55,752
down that woman's throat
to get her car keys?
291
00:10:55,787 --> 00:10:58,989
Why do you even care
if I leave?
292
00:10:59,023 --> 00:11:00,991
Because the vulture
is the worst.
293
00:11:00,992 --> 00:11:02,626
That whole division
is the worst.
294
00:11:02,627 --> 00:11:05,128
They steal cases.
It's the lowest of the low.
295
00:11:05,163 --> 00:11:06,196
So if I transferred
somewhere else,
296
00:11:06,197 --> 00:11:07,197
you wouldn't care at all?
297
00:11:07,198 --> 00:11:09,499
No, of course not.
298
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:12,836
Do whatever you want,
you know, it's your life.
299
00:11:14,138 --> 00:11:16,506
Aha!
The jacket.
300
00:11:16,541 --> 00:11:17,841
This case is heating up.
301
00:11:17,842 --> 00:11:19,476
Ooh, receipt in the pocket.
302
00:11:19,477 --> 00:11:21,345
Dust it for prints.
And send a scan to Boyle.
303
00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:24,214
Yes. You're feeling it now.
Whoo!
304
00:11:24,215 --> 00:11:26,683
The thief's name
is Benjamin disanto.
305
00:11:26,718 --> 00:11:27,851
Here's an old mug shot.
306
00:11:27,852 --> 00:11:29,486
He's surprisingly photogenic.
307
00:11:29,487 --> 00:11:30,887
A lot of criminals are,
strangely.
308
00:11:30,922 --> 00:11:32,322
He doesn't work here.
309
00:11:32,323 --> 00:11:34,157
Must have stolen
the bellhop uniform.
310
00:11:34,158 --> 00:11:35,492
Receptionist
just spotted disanto
311
00:11:35,493 --> 00:11:36,760
entering the salieri ballroom.
312
00:11:36,761 --> 00:11:38,028
What's going on in there?
313
00:11:38,029 --> 00:11:39,563
An auction
of Greek antiquities.
314
00:11:39,564 --> 00:11:42,165
Ah, I believe it's
pronounced "antiques."
315
00:11:42,166 --> 00:11:44,668
I'm sorry about my partner.
He's never been to a museum.
316
00:11:44,669 --> 00:11:46,870
Have so.
Wax museums don't count.
317
00:11:46,871 --> 00:11:48,271
Then why are they
called museums?
318
00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:49,272
It's right there
in the name.
319
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:50,574
Oh, my God.
Come on.
320
00:11:50,575 --> 00:11:52,843
It's going really well, sir.
321
00:11:52,844 --> 00:11:55,412
We've gone from 10 cases
per hour to almost 20.
322
00:11:55,446 --> 00:11:57,280
It's good,
but we can do better.
323
00:11:57,281 --> 00:12:00,617
Tell me about
the Boyle-linetti reaction.
324
00:12:00,618 --> 00:12:01,918
Boyle gets cold a lot
325
00:12:01,919 --> 00:12:03,587
because of what
he calls his...
326
00:12:03,588 --> 00:12:05,567
Medically diagnosed
thin skin.
327
00:12:05,590 --> 00:12:07,557
So he goes
to the lost and found,
328
00:12:07,558 --> 00:12:10,861
and he grabs something
that's usually unflattering.
329
00:12:10,862 --> 00:12:13,563
That's when Gina
gets involved.
330
00:12:13,564 --> 00:12:16,700
Sweet sweater, Charles.
331
00:12:16,701 --> 00:12:18,568
You look like you're starring
in an Albanian remake
332
00:12:18,569 --> 00:12:20,070
of the cosby show.
333
00:12:20,104 --> 00:12:23,140
Dr. huxtable, Dr. huxtable.
334
00:12:23,141 --> 00:12:25,542
Gina is completely useless
335
00:12:25,543 --> 00:12:27,711
when Boyle is wearing
lost-and-found clothes.
336
00:12:27,745 --> 00:12:29,713
Well, I really can't blame her
on this one.
337
00:12:29,714 --> 00:12:32,382
Maybe we should just, uh,
empty lost and found.
338
00:12:32,417 --> 00:12:33,717
Already done, sir.
339
00:12:34,986 --> 00:12:37,454
Good lord.
Where did he get that?
340
00:12:37,488 --> 00:12:40,424
Oh, my God, we're doomed.
Boyle looks like a lesbian.
341
00:12:40,458 --> 00:12:41,658
He must have gotten it
342
00:12:41,659 --> 00:12:43,393
from the evidence locker
or something.
343
00:12:43,394 --> 00:12:44,393
Don't worry.
344
00:12:44,395 --> 00:12:46,396
I had a backup plan.
345
00:12:46,397 --> 00:12:48,899
I distracted her
with a mirror.
346
00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:51,234
She's like a cockatiel, sir...
347
00:12:51,269 --> 00:12:53,770
Fascinated
by her own reflection.
348
00:12:53,805 --> 00:12:56,773
Mm. Hello, sexy,
how are you?
349
00:12:56,774 --> 00:12:58,241
Right back at ya.
350
00:12:58,276 --> 00:12:59,676
Well done.
351
00:13:03,181 --> 00:13:04,748
Good afternoon, sir,
I'm Detective Peralta.
352
00:13:04,749 --> 00:13:06,283
This is Detective
always-stays-loyal.
353
00:13:06,284 --> 00:13:08,251
She's named after her father
Alvin stays-loyal.
354
00:13:08,252 --> 00:13:09,586
We're tracking a thief
that's stolen
355
00:13:09,587 --> 00:13:11,154
thousands of dollars
worth of jewelry.
356
00:13:11,189 --> 00:13:12,789
We think he's scouting
auction winners,
357
00:13:12,824 --> 00:13:14,191
so he can Rob their rooms.
358
00:13:14,192 --> 00:13:16,827
We called for backup,
but we need to move now.
359
00:13:16,828 --> 00:13:17,988
And we have to keep it quiet.
360
00:13:17,995 --> 00:13:19,362
What can I do to help?
361
00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:20,731
Well, there's too many people
in here.
362
00:13:20,765 --> 00:13:22,132
I need a better vantage point.
363
00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:23,967
Any way I can get up onstage
by the podium?
364
00:13:23,968 --> 00:13:25,502
You'll blow our cover
if you go up there.
365
00:13:25,503 --> 00:13:26,970
You don't exactly blend in.
366
00:13:26,971 --> 00:13:29,773
Yeah.
367
00:13:29,774 --> 00:13:31,775
Irwin, how would you
like to have the honor
368
00:13:31,776 --> 00:13:33,043
of being the first man
to undress
369
00:13:33,044 --> 00:13:36,246
in front of Amy Santiago?
Okay.
370
00:13:38,089 --> 00:13:40,824
Here we go.
371
00:13:40,825 --> 00:13:41,992
Hello, everyone.
372
00:13:41,993 --> 00:13:43,927
My name is Roger strikewell,
373
00:13:43,928 --> 00:13:46,363
and I will be your guest
auctioneer this evening.
374
00:13:46,364 --> 00:13:48,932
So many faces to look at.
375
00:13:48,933 --> 00:13:50,433
I won a radio contest,
376
00:13:50,434 --> 00:13:52,002
and I'm so excited
to be here tonight
377
00:13:52,003 --> 00:13:54,905
to sell you all of
these cool, old, Greek things.
378
00:13:54,939 --> 00:13:59,042
Our first item up for bid
is lot number 344.
379
00:13:59,043 --> 00:14:02,846
It is this old "vase,"
"vahs" if you're nasty.
380
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:06,850
It was made
in the year... five
381
00:14:06,851 --> 00:14:11,221
and depicts
the classic Greek fable:
382
00:14:11,222 --> 00:14:13,957
Boy meets girl,
boy has goat legs.
383
00:14:13,958 --> 00:14:16,693
And on the back,
just a whole bunch of wheat.
384
00:14:16,694 --> 00:14:19,629
So let's start the bidding
at $10.
385
00:14:20,698 --> 00:14:22,832
Okay, started it
way too low.
386
00:14:24,535 --> 00:14:25,969
We've done it, sir.
387
00:14:25,970 --> 00:14:27,070
If we stay on this pace,
388
00:14:27,071 --> 00:14:28,772
I think we'll finish on time.
389
00:14:28,806 --> 00:14:29,973
I think we should
keep going,
390
00:14:30,007 --> 00:14:32,676
make the office
even more efficient.
391
00:14:32,710 --> 00:14:35,512
Sir, are you familiar
with the story of icarus?
392
00:14:35,513 --> 00:14:37,080
He didn't know when to quit.
393
00:14:37,081 --> 00:14:39,182
He flew too close
to the sun,
394
00:14:39,183 --> 00:14:41,885
and his wax wings melted,
and he died.
395
00:14:41,886 --> 00:14:44,221
Are you familiar
with the story of moneyball?
396
00:14:44,222 --> 00:14:46,323
A man uses statistics
and logic
397
00:14:46,324 --> 00:14:47,724
to win several baseball games.
398
00:14:47,725 --> 00:14:49,125
It's my favorite film.
399
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,194
The statistical analysis...
400
00:14:51,195 --> 00:14:54,569
It's so beautiful.
401
00:14:54,599 --> 00:14:56,333
This office is
becoming a powerhouse
402
00:14:56,334 --> 00:14:57,867
of paperwork processing.
403
00:14:57,868 --> 00:14:59,703
I'm flying high, sergeant,
404
00:14:59,704 --> 00:15:02,739
and I'm never coming down.
405
00:15:04,909 --> 00:15:06,543
I have 85.
Do I have 90?
406
00:15:06,577 --> 00:15:10,580
I have 90 from the man
with the face at table four.
407
00:15:10,615 --> 00:15:13,250
This is terrible... you don't know
what you're doing.
408
00:15:13,251 --> 00:15:15,018
Adam Sandler?
Yeah, that's right.
409
00:15:15,019 --> 00:15:18,188
I collect antiquities.
I'm a serious person.
410
00:15:18,189 --> 00:15:20,757
I'm writing a movie right now
about the Russian revolution.
411
00:15:20,791 --> 00:15:22,859
Oh, really?
Who does Kevin James play in it?
412
00:15:22,860 --> 00:15:25,428
Ha, ha.
It's a serious movie.
413
00:15:25,429 --> 00:15:27,497
Trotsky.
Ah, there it is.
414
00:15:27,531 --> 00:15:29,699
But he's got a wife
who never wears a bra.
415
00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:31,601
I think you're gonna like it.
416
00:15:31,602 --> 00:15:32,963
Thanks for dressing up,
by the way.
417
00:15:32,970 --> 00:15:34,471
All right, back to this plate.
418
00:15:34,472 --> 00:15:36,740
I think you could use it
for a variety of things.
419
00:15:36,741 --> 00:15:38,141
New item up there.
How much you guys
420
00:15:38,142 --> 00:15:39,542
wanna pay for me
to stick my socks
421
00:15:39,543 --> 00:15:41,311
in this moron's mouth?
I will.
422
00:15:41,312 --> 00:15:42,912
Did football legend
Joe Theismann
423
00:15:42,913 --> 00:15:44,914
just bid $1,000 to put a sock
in my mouth?
424
00:15:44,949 --> 00:15:47,083
You bet. Okay, but let's get
it going a little higher.
425
00:15:47,084 --> 00:15:48,952
Seriously,
back to the porno plate...
426
00:15:48,953 --> 00:15:51,554
Uh, 1,200 bucks,
sock in the mouth?
427
00:15:51,589 --> 00:15:53,623
Boom, okay, the idiot
gets the sock in the mouth.
428
00:15:53,624 --> 00:15:55,659
I'd say 1,300
would be even better.
429
00:15:55,660 --> 00:15:56,926
1,300!
430
00:15:56,927 --> 00:15:58,895
Joe Theismann
coming in strong.
431
00:15:58,896 --> 00:16:00,230
I got 1,300.
25,000 from...
432
00:16:00,231 --> 00:16:01,398
and a one and a two
and a...
433
00:16:01,432 --> 00:16:04,467
Boom, sold to Joey Theismann!
434
00:16:04,502 --> 00:16:06,469
Congratulations, you're getting
a sock in your mouth,
435
00:16:06,504 --> 00:16:08,038
1,300 bucks, Joe Theismann.
436
00:16:08,072 --> 00:16:09,439
Can I stick the sock
in his mouth?
437
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:10,640
I'll pay extra.
438
00:16:10,641 --> 00:16:11,941
Yes, you may,
because I just
439
00:16:11,942 --> 00:16:14,110
sold my item to the man
440
00:16:14,111 --> 00:16:15,679
in the gray shirt
at table 18.
441
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,747
NYPD. You're under arrest.
442
00:16:17,748 --> 00:16:18,815
Heading your way.
443
00:16:26,657 --> 00:16:28,024
Gotcha!
444
00:16:28,025 --> 00:16:30,527
My leg! My leg!
445
00:16:30,528 --> 00:16:33,596
You broke my other leg.
Uh...
446
00:16:33,597 --> 00:16:36,433
Oh, this was supposed
to be a safe event.
447
00:16:36,434 --> 00:16:37,434
Nothing to see here.
448
00:16:37,435 --> 00:16:39,202
Except for the bone,
449
00:16:39,203 --> 00:16:41,071
sticking out of the leg.
450
00:16:41,105 --> 00:16:43,340
Joe, I video'd it!
451
00:16:43,374 --> 00:16:44,974
What a day, huh?
452
00:16:44,975 --> 00:16:47,143
Met Adam Sandler,
broke Joe Theismann's leg,
453
00:16:47,144 --> 00:16:48,812
and solved
an awesome case together.
454
00:16:48,813 --> 00:16:50,113
Yeah, good day.
455
00:16:50,114 --> 00:16:51,281
Hell yeah, it is.
456
00:16:51,282 --> 00:16:52,615
Drinks are on me.
457
00:16:52,616 --> 00:16:54,351
Jake, I'm still
doing the interview.
458
00:16:54,352 --> 00:16:55,952
What?
459
00:16:55,953 --> 00:16:57,687
No.
460
00:16:57,688 --> 00:16:59,122
Don't do that.
461
00:16:59,123 --> 00:17:00,790
We still have
to process the perp.
462
00:17:00,791 --> 00:17:02,359
You love processing...
It's your favorite thing,
463
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:03,660
after organizing your emails
464
00:17:03,661 --> 00:17:05,362
and replacing
toilet paper rolls.
465
00:17:05,363 --> 00:17:07,964
This job would be
a great opportunity for me.
466
00:17:07,965 --> 00:17:10,233
Okay, whatever.
You know what?
467
00:17:10,234 --> 00:17:11,901
You're being a bad partner.
468
00:17:11,902 --> 00:17:13,837
You're joining forces
with the enemy.
469
00:17:13,838 --> 00:17:16,072
And from now on, I'm gonna
call you "the cheetah."
470
00:17:16,073 --> 00:17:17,974
They're scavengers,
just like vultures.
471
00:17:17,975 --> 00:17:19,142
And I kinda wish
I hadn't said it,
472
00:17:19,143 --> 00:17:20,477
'cause they're pretty cool.
473
00:17:20,478 --> 00:17:23,079
Come on, jewel thief.
474
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,415
You're my only friend now.
475
00:17:27,795 --> 00:17:30,296
Scully, what are you doing
at my desk?
476
00:17:30,297 --> 00:17:31,464
And working?
477
00:17:31,498 --> 00:17:32,894
What is going on today?
478
00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:34,500
The Captain put me here.
479
00:17:34,501 --> 00:17:36,502
Says I waste time
when I sit next to Hitchcock.
480
00:17:39,173 --> 00:17:42,942
Okay, well, go work
in the break room.
481
00:17:42,977 --> 00:17:44,177
Hello, Peralta.
482
00:17:44,178 --> 00:17:45,678
Ah, a human greeting,
nicely done.
483
00:17:45,679 --> 00:17:47,013
Updates on the case?
484
00:17:47,014 --> 00:17:48,348
Well, you're gonna
love this one.
485
00:17:48,349 --> 00:17:49,716
We busted the guy
for grand larceny.
486
00:17:49,717 --> 00:17:51,084
And to celebrate,
Santiago is taking
487
00:17:51,085 --> 00:17:52,852
a job interview
at major crimes.
488
00:17:52,853 --> 00:17:53,957
Can you believe that?
489
00:17:53,988 --> 00:17:55,922
Yes, she told me yesterday.
What?
490
00:17:55,923 --> 00:17:57,890
Why didn't you try
and talk her out of it?
491
00:17:57,891 --> 00:17:59,158
She would literally
shave her head
492
00:17:59,159 --> 00:18:00,426
if you asked her to.
493
00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:02,028
Which, by the way,
is a great idea
494
00:18:02,029 --> 00:18:03,329
for a prank, if you're
looking to prank her.
495
00:18:03,330 --> 00:18:05,265
Santiago wants
to make Captain one day.
496
00:18:05,266 --> 00:18:06,866
I know, because
I've frequently caught her
497
00:18:06,867 --> 00:18:08,935
wearing my hat
and looking into a mirror.
498
00:18:08,936 --> 00:18:11,871
Dismissed.
499
00:18:13,574 --> 00:18:16,009
I support her decision.
500
00:18:16,010 --> 00:18:17,443
That's what
good detectives do.
501
00:18:17,444 --> 00:18:21,317
They have each other's back,
no matter what.
502
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:27,620
All right, let's move on
503
00:18:27,621 --> 00:18:30,356
to your unpaid parking tickets.
504
00:18:30,391 --> 00:18:32,458
Dude. Dude, fire.
505
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,193
Oh, my. Fire.
506
00:18:34,194 --> 00:18:36,596
Uh, hey! Fire!
507
00:18:36,597 --> 00:18:38,398
Oh, I-I got it, okay.
508
00:18:38,432 --> 00:18:39,432
Here we go.
Here we go, Boyle.
509
00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:42,602
I got it.
510
00:18:42,603 --> 00:18:44,070
What happened, Scully?
511
00:18:44,104 --> 00:18:45,405
I didn't know
there was a toaster there.
512
00:18:45,406 --> 00:18:46,706
Why is the toaster there?
513
00:18:46,740 --> 00:18:47,940
Uh-oh.
Aah!
514
00:18:47,941 --> 00:18:48,975
My fringe!
515
00:18:48,976 --> 00:18:50,143
My beautiful fringe!
516
00:18:50,144 --> 00:18:51,577
Boyle's on fire!
517
00:18:53,981 --> 00:18:55,114
Icarus.
518
00:18:55,115 --> 00:18:57,250
Extinguisher's empty,
morons.
519
00:18:57,251 --> 00:19:00,386
Aah!
520
00:19:01,822 --> 00:19:05,725
Back to the drawing board.
521
00:19:05,726 --> 00:19:08,294
Sir, I'm begging you,
please, we have to stop.
522
00:19:08,295 --> 00:19:10,129
Boyle is still smoldering.
523
00:19:10,164 --> 00:19:12,432
The problem is, we didn't
take Peralta into account.
524
00:19:12,433 --> 00:19:13,933
In our next trial...
525
00:19:17,604 --> 00:19:20,606
Hello, boys.
Welcome to your own office.
526
00:19:20,641 --> 00:19:23,676
I hear you're trying to make
the precinct more efficient.
527
00:19:23,677 --> 00:19:25,345
Gina, what are you doing
in the Captain's chair?
528
00:19:25,346 --> 00:19:27,880
Please, I'm open to any ideas
about efficiency.
529
00:19:27,915 --> 00:19:31,084
I've narrowed the problem
down to one location:
530
00:19:31,085 --> 00:19:33,619
The Holt-Jeffords vortex.
531
00:19:33,654 --> 00:19:35,655
Things would go a lot faster
if the two of you
532
00:19:35,689 --> 00:19:38,291
did less experimenting
and more working.
533
00:19:38,292 --> 00:19:41,260
And I'm not the only one
who thinks that.
534
00:19:42,963 --> 00:19:45,164
You melted my fringe.
535
00:19:45,165 --> 00:19:46,532
You think I have
an anger problem?
536
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:48,968
I don't.
You are both dead to me.
537
00:19:49,002 --> 00:19:51,304
Well, I suppose
it's possible
538
00:19:51,305 --> 00:19:52,872
we may have been
a tad enthusiastic
539
00:19:52,873 --> 00:19:54,507
in our pursuit of efficiency...
540
00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:57,009
Really?
A tad, icarus?
541
00:19:57,010 --> 00:20:00,046
Fine, message received.
542
00:20:00,047 --> 00:20:02,181
Jeffords and I will get
right to work.
543
00:20:02,216 --> 00:20:04,951
Great, that will be all.
Thank you.
544
00:20:04,985 --> 00:20:06,552
Get the hell
out of my chair.
545
00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:08,354
All right, I pushed it
a little bit on that one.
546
00:20:08,389 --> 00:20:10,890
Okay, bye.
547
00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:14,527
Ah, Santiago.
548
00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:16,863
Before you go in there,
there's something I have to say.
549
00:20:16,864 --> 00:20:18,464
I'm sorry I said
you were a bad partner.
550
00:20:18,465 --> 00:20:20,099
I was the bad partner.
551
00:20:20,134 --> 00:20:22,502
The truth is,
our job isn't always great.
552
00:20:22,503 --> 00:20:23,870
I mean, sometimes it sucks.
553
00:20:23,871 --> 00:20:25,972
But it sucks a little less
554
00:20:25,973 --> 00:20:27,373
when I get to do it
with you.
555
00:20:27,374 --> 00:20:29,909
So when you said
you were gonna leave,
556
00:20:29,910 --> 00:20:31,177
I freaked out,
and that was dumb.
557
00:20:31,178 --> 00:20:33,713
I should've been
more supportive.
558
00:20:33,747 --> 00:20:35,014
You're a great Detective,
559
00:20:35,015 --> 00:20:36,883
and they'd be lucky
to have you.
560
00:20:36,884 --> 00:20:39,185
In fact, if it helps,
561
00:20:39,186 --> 00:20:41,554
I wrote you a letter
of recommendation,
562
00:20:41,555 --> 00:20:43,289
which is riddled with
spelling errors, I might add.
563
00:20:43,323 --> 00:20:45,558
Including the word,
"recommendation,"
564
00:20:45,559 --> 00:20:48,060
which is just... I don't have
to tell you about that.
565
00:20:48,061 --> 00:20:49,896
There's no way there's four "m"s
in that word, right?
566
00:20:49,930 --> 00:20:51,564
I already turned down the job.
567
00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:53,299
Seriously?
568
00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:55,902
In the end, you were right.
I don't wanna sit at a desk.
569
00:20:55,903 --> 00:20:59,005
And right now,
I like where I am.
570
00:20:59,039 --> 00:21:00,473
Ah.
571
00:21:00,507 --> 00:21:02,508
But thanks
for thinking I'm great.
572
00:21:02,509 --> 00:21:04,577
No, I take back all
of the things I just said.
573
00:21:04,611 --> 00:21:06,946
Uh-uh. You said
I was a good Detective,
574
00:21:06,947 --> 00:21:08,981
and you were nice.
575
00:21:09,016 --> 00:21:10,583
This is my nightmare.
576
00:21:10,584 --> 00:21:12,185
Lookee, lookee.
577
00:21:12,186 --> 00:21:14,353
I thought I saw your big,
white ass lumbering around.
578
00:21:14,354 --> 00:21:16,456
As for you, Santiago,
well, now you certainly
579
00:21:16,457 --> 00:21:18,090
showed your true colors,
didn't you?
580
00:21:18,091 --> 00:21:20,326
And they're a shade of pink
called "loser."
581
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:21,928
All right, everybody
just calm down.
582
00:21:21,929 --> 00:21:23,729
There's no reason
we can't be friends.
583
00:21:23,730 --> 00:21:26,299
Here, I brought you
a peace offering.
584
00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:28,067
Run!
585
00:21:28,068 --> 00:21:30,970
Uh-oh.
586
00:21:30,971 --> 00:21:35,819
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/