1 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:05,641 Ugh, motorcade duty. 2 00:00:05,642 --> 00:00:07,009 So boring. 3 00:00:07,010 --> 00:00:08,711 I honestly would rather sit around 4 00:00:08,712 --> 00:00:10,779 and listen to you talk about the right way to make paella. 5 00:00:10,814 --> 00:00:12,715 There's more than one right way to make paella, Jake. 6 00:00:12,716 --> 00:00:14,316 There are ten right ways. 7 00:00:14,317 --> 00:00:16,185 You got classic Valencian, modern... 8 00:00:16,219 --> 00:00:17,820 No, wait, stop. I changed my mind. 9 00:00:17,821 --> 00:00:20,322 I've made a horrible mistake. 10 00:00:20,357 --> 00:00:22,424 Hey, Rosa, just who I was looking for. 11 00:00:22,425 --> 00:00:24,326 Quick question, can I have your friend Katie's phone number? 12 00:00:24,327 --> 00:00:25,661 I want to ask her out. 13 00:00:25,695 --> 00:00:27,563 No, I don't mix personal and professional. 14 00:00:27,564 --> 00:00:29,498 You're never getting her number. 15 00:00:29,499 --> 00:00:31,767 Never like, "we're never gonna have a black President" never? 16 00:00:31,768 --> 00:00:32,835 'Cause that happened. 17 00:00:32,836 --> 00:00:34,170 A real never. 18 00:00:34,171 --> 00:00:36,005 Like if you ever ask me about this again, 19 00:00:36,006 --> 00:00:38,841 you're never gonna be able to eat without a straw. 20 00:00:38,842 --> 00:00:41,410 Yeah, okay, well... you 21 00:00:41,444 --> 00:00:43,546 are on the wrong side of history, my friend. 22 00:00:43,547 --> 00:00:45,414 Katie, huh? 23 00:00:45,415 --> 00:00:47,683 Wow, I can't believe you're not still pining for Amy. 24 00:00:47,684 --> 00:00:50,019 I mean, I pine for years. 25 00:00:50,020 --> 00:00:51,687 I still think about Mia, 26 00:00:51,688 --> 00:00:52,888 the nurse that helped my nana pass. 27 00:00:52,889 --> 00:00:54,190 Yes, I know. 28 00:00:54,191 --> 00:00:55,391 You've told me, like, a hundred times 29 00:00:55,425 --> 00:00:56,792 about the time your nana collapsed 30 00:00:56,793 --> 00:00:58,394 and accidentally pulled Mia's pants down. 31 00:00:58,395 --> 00:01:00,262 Best day of my life. 32 00:01:00,297 --> 00:01:01,777 I don't have feelings for Amy anymore. 33 00:01:01,798 --> 00:01:03,732 So time for me to get out there 34 00:01:03,733 --> 00:01:05,000 and spread my w... 35 00:01:05,035 --> 00:01:06,202 Legs. 36 00:01:06,203 --> 00:01:08,003 Get out there and spread my legs? 37 00:01:08,038 --> 00:01:09,505 Well, e-either way. 38 00:01:09,539 --> 00:01:12,185 No, not either way. Only wings. 39 00:01:12,186 --> 00:01:16,015 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 40 00:01:32,395 --> 00:01:33,929 Listen up. 41 00:01:33,930 --> 00:01:35,498 There's been an issue with the motorcade. 42 00:01:35,499 --> 00:01:37,233 The serbian President is delayed in Washington, 43 00:01:37,234 --> 00:01:38,400 and we can't start locking down intersections 44 00:01:38,401 --> 00:01:39,935 until he takes off. 45 00:01:39,970 --> 00:01:41,303 Apparently he's on an important call 46 00:01:41,338 --> 00:01:43,239 with the Albanian President. 47 00:01:43,273 --> 00:01:46,275 Is that bujar nishani or is it still bamir topi? 48 00:01:46,276 --> 00:01:48,077 Oh, ames, let me check. 49 00:01:48,078 --> 00:01:51,080 Hmm, it just says no one likes you. 50 00:01:51,081 --> 00:01:52,581 There's a three-hour delay, minimum. 51 00:01:52,582 --> 00:01:54,583 Captain Holt and I will have to leave for a meeting 52 00:01:54,584 --> 00:01:55,985 at one police plaza. 53 00:01:55,986 --> 00:01:57,753 You should all stay prepped and ready. 54 00:01:57,788 --> 00:01:59,622 Dismissed. 55 00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:02,892 Guys. Guys, guys, guys. 56 00:02:02,926 --> 00:02:04,927 Three-hour delay with no Holt or Terry? 57 00:02:04,928 --> 00:02:06,295 Do you have any idea what this means? 58 00:02:06,329 --> 00:02:07,797 Makeovers. No, Charles. 59 00:02:07,798 --> 00:02:09,365 The Jimmy jab games! 60 00:02:09,366 --> 00:02:10,599 Yeah! 61 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:13,436 The first Jimmy jabs were held in 2008, 62 00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:15,237 when the King of Iraq... 63 00:02:15,272 --> 00:02:17,273 President, Iran. Armen Jimmy jab. 64 00:02:17,274 --> 00:02:19,308 Ahmadinejad. Came to New York, 65 00:02:19,309 --> 00:02:20,776 and were on call for nine glorious hours 66 00:02:20,777 --> 00:02:22,144 in case there were protests. 67 00:02:22,145 --> 00:02:24,447 On that day, a young genius 68 00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:25,514 named Jake Peralta 69 00:02:25,515 --> 00:02:27,283 used the last piece of his bagel 70 00:02:27,284 --> 00:02:29,618 to create the first Jimmy jab event. 71 00:02:29,619 --> 00:02:31,654 The monster mouth bagel toss. 72 00:02:34,691 --> 00:02:35,958 Oh. 73 00:02:35,959 --> 00:02:37,293 And the rest was history. 74 00:02:37,294 --> 00:02:38,494 As soon as Holt and Terry leave, 75 00:02:38,495 --> 00:02:41,630 we will commence with Jimmy jab seven, 76 00:02:41,631 --> 00:02:43,866 circus of fools. 77 00:02:43,867 --> 00:02:44,867 Jimmy jabs... 78 00:02:44,868 --> 00:02:46,802 Jimmy jabs. 79 00:02:46,803 --> 00:02:49,572 Jimmy jabs. Jimmy jabs. 80 00:02:49,573 --> 00:02:51,674 Jimmy jabs! Jimmy jabs! 81 00:02:51,675 --> 00:02:52,975 Jimmy jabs! 82 00:02:52,976 --> 00:02:55,211 Seems like we're ready for our meeting 83 00:02:55,212 --> 00:02:56,545 with deputy chief Wuntch. 84 00:02:56,546 --> 00:02:57,847 Is that how you plan on sitting? 85 00:02:57,848 --> 00:03:00,516 Leaning back like a matinee-goer? 86 00:03:00,517 --> 00:03:03,018 Madeline will eat you alive. 87 00:03:03,019 --> 00:03:04,353 That's no better. 88 00:03:04,354 --> 00:03:06,155 Hands folded on your lap like a pervert. 89 00:03:06,156 --> 00:03:08,324 Sir, what are you so nervous about? 90 00:03:08,325 --> 00:03:09,759 There's a new drug in the precinct, 91 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:12,161 and we need updated narcotics field kits. 92 00:03:12,162 --> 00:03:13,996 All we're asking for is $1,200. 93 00:03:13,997 --> 00:03:15,498 How could she say no to that? 94 00:03:15,499 --> 00:03:16,932 Sergeant, as long as I'm asking for it, 95 00:03:16,933 --> 00:03:19,668 Madeline Wuntch can say no to anything. 96 00:03:21,071 --> 00:03:22,505 Ugh, may I? 97 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:23,906 Those are my tissues, Raymond. 98 00:03:23,907 --> 00:03:25,241 If you were planning on sneezing, 99 00:03:25,242 --> 00:03:27,743 you should have brought your own. 100 00:03:27,744 --> 00:03:29,945 Sir, she's a deputy chief. 101 00:03:29,946 --> 00:03:32,515 I'm sure she wants what's best for the community. 102 00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:34,016 She doesn't care about the community. 103 00:03:34,017 --> 00:03:36,786 She only cares about defeating me. 104 00:03:36,787 --> 00:03:38,354 This is war, sergeant. 105 00:03:38,355 --> 00:03:40,523 The war on Wuntch. 106 00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:43,025 Oh, good. You've named it. 107 00:03:43,026 --> 00:03:45,361 So Jimmy jabs, huh? 108 00:03:45,362 --> 00:03:47,263 What do you say we make it interesting this year? 109 00:03:47,264 --> 00:03:49,265 Aha! We could play for Katie's number. 110 00:03:49,266 --> 00:03:50,700 No. 111 00:03:50,701 --> 00:03:52,535 Is this why you wanted to do Jimmy jabs? 112 00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:54,403 No. Yes. Why? What gave it away? 113 00:03:54,438 --> 00:03:56,072 You said, "aha" and snapped your fingers. 114 00:03:56,073 --> 00:03:57,707 Ah. 115 00:03:57,708 --> 00:03:59,208 Oh, you wanna go out with Rosa's friend Katie? 116 00:03:59,209 --> 00:04:00,743 That's great. She's cool. 117 00:04:00,744 --> 00:04:02,211 I know, but Rosa has this dumb rule 118 00:04:02,212 --> 00:04:04,380 about not mixing work with personal stuff. 119 00:04:04,381 --> 00:04:05,881 That's actually not a bad policy. 120 00:04:05,882 --> 00:04:07,883 I once gave my aunt a jaywalking ticket, 121 00:04:07,884 --> 00:04:10,619 and things really deteriorated between us. 122 00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:12,088 Hmm. But Jake and Katie 123 00:04:12,089 --> 00:04:14,490 would be awesome together. I know, right? 124 00:04:14,491 --> 00:04:15,791 She's single. I'm single. 125 00:04:15,792 --> 00:04:17,793 She's pretty. I'm pretty. 126 00:04:17,794 --> 00:04:19,295 So it's settled. 127 00:04:19,296 --> 00:04:20,997 If I win the Jimmy jabs, you give me her number. 128 00:04:20,998 --> 00:04:22,732 And if I lose, you don't have to give it to me. 129 00:04:22,766 --> 00:04:23,899 I already don't have to give it to you. 130 00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:25,501 All right, I'll give you $200, 131 00:04:25,502 --> 00:04:26,802 and I'll never ask you for another phone number again. 132 00:04:26,803 --> 00:04:28,504 Done. 133 00:04:28,505 --> 00:04:30,740 Hello, Gina. 134 00:04:30,741 --> 00:04:32,742 It's daylight, Boyle. Why are we talking? 135 00:04:32,743 --> 00:04:34,176 This is an emergency. 136 00:04:34,177 --> 00:04:36,078 I've been filming my fitness routine 137 00:04:36,079 --> 00:04:38,180 with the precinct camera to help improve my form. 138 00:04:38,181 --> 00:04:40,116 That's where I got these tree trunks. 139 00:04:40,117 --> 00:04:42,618 But I realized that I left the tape 140 00:04:42,619 --> 00:04:44,453 in the camera, and now it's gone. 141 00:04:44,454 --> 00:04:45,454 Who cares? 142 00:04:45,455 --> 00:04:47,423 Who cares? Who cares? 143 00:04:47,424 --> 00:04:49,992 You probably will. 144 00:04:54,298 --> 00:04:57,166 Oh, Boyle, I love that you're trying 145 00:04:57,167 --> 00:04:59,035 to step up your sex game. 146 00:04:59,036 --> 00:05:01,604 But strength is not your issue. 147 00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:03,272 Stop humming. 148 00:05:03,307 --> 00:05:04,607 And it does not turn me on 149 00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:07,009 when you bend over and back up into me. 150 00:05:07,010 --> 00:05:08,778 Did someone check out the camera this morning? 151 00:05:08,779 --> 00:05:09,979 Yes, Hitchcock. 152 00:05:10,013 --> 00:05:12,348 And if he sees it, he will tell everyone. 153 00:05:12,349 --> 00:05:13,849 You need to get that damn tape. 154 00:05:13,884 --> 00:05:16,385 Okay. We're off. 155 00:05:16,386 --> 00:05:17,687 You'll get word when the serbian President 156 00:05:17,688 --> 00:05:19,822 is wheels-up. You got it, sarge. 157 00:05:19,823 --> 00:05:21,157 We'll just be here till you get back. 158 00:05:21,158 --> 00:05:23,459 Calmly and respectfully prepping. 159 00:05:23,460 --> 00:05:24,827 All right, they're gone! 160 00:05:24,861 --> 00:05:26,495 Ceremonial bagel. 161 00:05:26,496 --> 00:05:27,830 Flask. 162 00:05:29,866 --> 00:05:31,834 Flame. 163 00:05:31,835 --> 00:05:35,237 ♪ Jimmy jaaaaaabs ♪ 164 00:05:35,238 --> 00:05:38,174 ♪ Jimmy jaaaah-aaaah ♪ 165 00:05:38,175 --> 00:05:40,509 ♪ Aaaaah-aaaaah-aaaaah ♪ 166 00:05:40,510 --> 00:05:42,478 ♪ Ooooh ♪ 167 00:05:42,479 --> 00:05:44,513 Let the games begin. 168 00:05:52,542 --> 00:05:55,210 Welcome to the Jimmy jabs. 169 00:05:55,211 --> 00:05:56,745 We play for pride. 170 00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:59,214 We play for the phone numbers of Rosa's friends. 171 00:05:59,215 --> 00:06:00,549 But most importantly, 172 00:06:00,550 --> 00:06:03,218 we play to watch Amy lose. 173 00:06:03,219 --> 00:06:05,154 Nope. This is my year. It's my year too. 174 00:06:05,155 --> 00:06:06,321 Please don't align yourself with me. 175 00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:07,790 Why not? 176 00:06:07,791 --> 00:06:09,591 Neither of you have ever come close to winning. 177 00:06:09,592 --> 00:06:11,026 You're exactly the same, 178 00:06:11,061 --> 00:06:13,929 just a couple of santiagos. 179 00:06:15,231 --> 00:06:18,901 But the real prize is the Winchester 3000, 180 00:06:18,935 --> 00:06:20,636 the only chair in the precinct 181 00:06:20,637 --> 00:06:21,804 with minimal staining, 182 00:06:21,838 --> 00:06:23,072 good lumbar support, 183 00:06:23,073 --> 00:06:25,407 and no broken rolly-wheels. 184 00:06:25,442 --> 00:06:26,442 Over to you, Gina. 185 00:06:26,443 --> 00:06:27,743 Thank you, Jake. 186 00:06:27,744 --> 00:06:29,545 Okay, guys, as usual, 187 00:06:29,579 --> 00:06:32,214 the loser of each event is eliminated from the games. 188 00:06:32,248 --> 00:06:35,984 The winner gets a bonus in the final round. 189 00:06:36,019 --> 00:06:39,021 Our first event is... 190 00:06:39,022 --> 00:06:40,422 "The mouthathon." 191 00:06:40,423 --> 00:06:42,758 In front of you is month-old Chinese food 192 00:06:42,759 --> 00:06:43,926 from the fridge. 193 00:06:43,927 --> 00:06:44,927 Go ahead and eat 194 00:06:44,961 --> 00:06:46,762 as much as you can stomach. 195 00:06:46,763 --> 00:06:48,831 On your mark, 196 00:06:48,865 --> 00:06:50,766 get set, wahlberg! 197 00:06:53,937 --> 00:06:55,104 Ugh! 198 00:06:55,105 --> 00:06:56,772 I can't do this to my mouth. 199 00:06:56,773 --> 00:06:58,507 She's the love of my life. 200 00:06:58,508 --> 00:07:00,075 Charles is eliminated. 201 00:07:00,110 --> 00:07:02,111 Ugh, I think this ball of soup is off. 202 00:07:02,112 --> 00:07:03,112 I'm out! 203 00:07:03,113 --> 00:07:04,313 I can do this. 204 00:07:04,314 --> 00:07:06,015 I wanna win so bad. 205 00:07:06,016 --> 00:07:07,883 Oh, great. Here, quick. Let me take a picture. 206 00:07:07,884 --> 00:07:09,618 Oh, that's so cute. 207 00:07:09,652 --> 00:07:11,453 You've got a little bit of mold on the tip of your nose. 208 00:07:12,722 --> 00:07:15,691 I tried. I tried, but he's unbeatable. 209 00:07:17,894 --> 00:07:20,663 You guys know this is free, right? 210 00:07:22,132 --> 00:07:24,533 Hello, deputy chief Wuntch. 211 00:07:24,567 --> 00:07:25,868 You've aged. 212 00:07:25,869 --> 00:07:27,970 Stay seated. We can do this out here, 213 00:07:27,971 --> 00:07:30,873 since you've already made yourselves comfortable. 214 00:07:30,874 --> 00:07:32,741 Sergeant Jeffords, why don't you just lie down? 215 00:07:32,742 --> 00:07:35,878 I can't sit any straighter than this. 216 00:07:35,912 --> 00:07:38,981 We're here about a new and very potent form of ecstasy, 217 00:07:38,982 --> 00:07:40,649 which has surfaced in our precinct. 218 00:07:40,684 --> 00:07:43,318 Street name, giggle pig. 219 00:07:43,319 --> 00:07:46,255 Hmm, an embarrassing blight growing right under your nose. 220 00:07:46,256 --> 00:07:47,589 Not unlike that moustache you had 221 00:07:47,590 --> 00:07:48,857 when we first met. 222 00:07:48,892 --> 00:07:52,061 That moustache was era-appropriate. 223 00:07:52,095 --> 00:07:53,562 The precinct just needs 224 00:07:53,596 --> 00:07:54,997 updated field kits 225 00:07:54,998 --> 00:07:56,165 to help us combat the problem. 226 00:07:56,166 --> 00:07:57,666 This paperwork is a mess. 227 00:07:57,667 --> 00:07:59,868 A semicolon that should clearly be a full colon? 228 00:07:59,869 --> 00:08:02,004 Was this prepared by a recent immigrant? 229 00:08:02,038 --> 00:08:03,739 It's just one typo. 230 00:08:03,773 --> 00:08:05,774 It's gibberish. 231 00:08:05,775 --> 00:08:07,343 Request denied. 232 00:08:10,847 --> 00:08:13,615 Wow. You were right. 233 00:08:13,616 --> 00:08:15,351 All it took was one mistake. 234 00:08:15,385 --> 00:08:17,186 You think that semicolon was a mistake? 235 00:08:17,187 --> 00:08:18,687 No, it was a juicy piece of bait, 236 00:08:18,688 --> 00:08:22,558 and she unhinged her jaw and swallowed it whole. 237 00:08:22,592 --> 00:08:25,194 So you wanted her to say no to us? 238 00:08:25,228 --> 00:08:27,896 Rejecting a valid request for such a petty reason, 239 00:08:27,897 --> 00:08:30,532 that's all the ammunition I need to go over her head. 240 00:08:30,533 --> 00:08:32,868 I secretly scheduled us a one-on-one 241 00:08:32,869 --> 00:08:35,904 with Madeline's boss, chief fisker. 242 00:08:35,905 --> 00:08:38,474 You wanna hear the funniest thing ever? 243 00:08:38,475 --> 00:08:42,845 I also split and infinitive, and she didn't notice. 244 00:08:45,215 --> 00:08:47,149 Hey, buddy. 245 00:08:47,150 --> 00:08:49,685 Did you check out the department video camera by any chance? 246 00:08:49,719 --> 00:08:50,986 Yeah, I was gonna take it home 247 00:08:50,987 --> 00:08:52,321 and videotape the top of my head. 248 00:08:52,322 --> 00:08:54,356 I think I might be thinning up there. 249 00:08:54,391 --> 00:08:55,724 Cool, cool. 250 00:08:55,725 --> 00:08:57,726 So I accidentally left a tape in there, 251 00:08:57,727 --> 00:08:59,094 and I want it back. 252 00:08:59,095 --> 00:09:00,596 Why? What's on it? 253 00:09:00,630 --> 00:09:01,897 Nothing. 254 00:09:01,898 --> 00:09:04,133 I just really need it for no reason. 255 00:09:04,167 --> 00:09:06,302 Well, if you want that tape back, 256 00:09:06,303 --> 00:09:08,203 I gotta get something in return. 257 00:09:08,238 --> 00:09:09,972 Are you blackmailing me? 258 00:09:09,973 --> 00:09:11,573 I don't have any money, Hitchcock. 259 00:09:11,574 --> 00:09:14,176 I'm still paying my uncle's funeral bills. 260 00:09:14,177 --> 00:09:16,278 I rear-ended the hearse. It was a mess. 261 00:09:16,313 --> 00:09:18,314 There's one thing I want, and it's not that big. 262 00:09:18,315 --> 00:09:21,083 I just want you to make me cool in everyone's eyes. 263 00:09:21,117 --> 00:09:22,918 Not that big? 264 00:09:22,919 --> 00:09:26,522 The Jimmy jabs has claimed its first victims. 265 00:09:26,523 --> 00:09:29,858 Boyle, you made no impact. 266 00:09:29,859 --> 00:09:33,662 Also, Detective Scully has withdrawn due to food poisoning, 267 00:09:33,663 --> 00:09:35,798 which I think we all saw coming. 268 00:09:35,832 --> 00:09:39,134 All right, the second event is "bulky bulky run run," 269 00:09:39,135 --> 00:09:41,270 the bomb suit foot race. 270 00:09:41,271 --> 00:09:43,205 Sure hope I don't sprain my arm during the face, 271 00:09:43,206 --> 00:09:45,107 'cause I'm gonna be opening up a lot of doors 272 00:09:45,108 --> 00:09:46,508 for Katie on our date. 273 00:09:46,543 --> 00:09:49,078 Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be a gentleman. 274 00:09:49,112 --> 00:09:50,813 What are you doing, Jake? 275 00:09:50,814 --> 00:09:52,147 Trash talking you, 276 00:09:52,148 --> 00:09:53,482 while simultaneously proving 277 00:09:53,483 --> 00:09:54,950 that I will be respectful of your friend. 278 00:09:54,951 --> 00:09:56,252 It's a tough line to walk. 279 00:09:56,286 --> 00:09:57,786 Gotta loosen up 280 00:09:57,787 --> 00:09:59,121 my flower-buying fingers. 281 00:09:59,122 --> 00:10:01,457 I'm gonna go nuts on the daisies. 282 00:10:03,460 --> 00:10:04,560 On your mark... 283 00:10:04,561 --> 00:10:05,628 Get set... 284 00:10:05,629 --> 00:10:06,629 Ruffalo! 285 00:10:09,699 --> 00:10:10,966 Go! 286 00:10:13,803 --> 00:10:15,404 I'm doing it, Charles! 287 00:10:15,405 --> 00:10:17,239 I look cool! 288 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:18,407 Whaaow! 289 00:10:21,411 --> 00:10:23,979 The next event will be "keep your cover." 290 00:10:23,980 --> 00:10:26,715 Contestants must craft an undercover persona 291 00:10:26,750 --> 00:10:29,218 and talk to as many police officers as you can 292 00:10:29,252 --> 00:10:31,787 before being recognized. 293 00:10:31,821 --> 00:10:33,555 Pregnant. Nice. 294 00:10:33,556 --> 00:10:35,391 Means ya had sex. 295 00:10:35,425 --> 00:10:38,327 Damn right, I did. And I forgot my birth control. 296 00:10:38,361 --> 00:10:40,195 Yeah! Yah! 297 00:10:40,196 --> 00:10:42,565 I think the belly will draw attention away from my face. 298 00:10:42,599 --> 00:10:44,066 Smart. Like one big boob. Mm-hmm. 299 00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:45,601 Jake will go first, 300 00:10:45,602 --> 00:10:47,069 then Amy, then Rosa. 301 00:10:47,103 --> 00:10:48,971 On your mark, get set, 302 00:10:49,005 --> 00:10:50,005 Paul gosselaar! 303 00:10:51,608 --> 00:10:53,142 Please let me have the tape. 304 00:10:53,176 --> 00:10:54,376 No dice. 305 00:10:54,377 --> 00:10:56,378 I don't know how to make you cool. 306 00:10:56,379 --> 00:10:58,380 I'm not even that cool myself. 307 00:10:58,381 --> 00:11:00,837 I mean, sure, I have a pizza stone. You have cool friends. 308 00:11:00,850 --> 00:11:02,218 Like Jake. 309 00:11:02,219 --> 00:11:03,953 I just wanna be part of a conversation 310 00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:06,922 where Jake uses my name and nobody insults me. 311 00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:08,691 Damn it! You ask too much. 312 00:11:08,725 --> 00:11:09,992 Ahh. 313 00:11:10,026 --> 00:11:11,927 I blew it. 314 00:11:11,928 --> 00:11:13,850 I only got through two people. 315 00:11:13,863 --> 00:11:16,866 He's kicking so much. You wanna feel? 316 00:11:16,867 --> 00:11:19,034 No! That's a bad idea! 317 00:11:19,035 --> 00:11:22,571 Oh, my baby! It's on the side! 318 00:11:22,572 --> 00:11:24,740 Oof. I got to six. 319 00:11:24,741 --> 00:11:26,775 Dumb baby! 320 00:11:26,810 --> 00:11:29,111 People are right... They ruin everything! 321 00:11:29,145 --> 00:11:31,247 Hey, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa! I wanna try. 322 00:11:31,248 --> 00:11:32,548 Let me be pregnant. 323 00:11:32,582 --> 00:11:33,883 Whoop! 324 00:11:33,884 --> 00:11:35,117 Adorable. Right? 325 00:11:35,151 --> 00:11:36,886 I can't believe I lost again! 326 00:11:36,887 --> 00:11:39,021 I was so psyched up for this. What happened? 327 00:11:39,055 --> 00:11:42,691 Well... maybe being so psyched up is what happened. 328 00:11:42,726 --> 00:11:44,827 Like every time we're doing police work, 329 00:11:44,828 --> 00:11:46,729 you're always super-smart and you stay calm 330 00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:48,163 and take your time, 331 00:11:48,164 --> 00:11:49,932 but every time we do dumb games like this, 332 00:11:49,933 --> 00:11:52,268 you get all frantic and act like a crazy idiot. 333 00:11:52,269 --> 00:11:55,538 My advice... next time don't act like a crazy idiot. 334 00:11:55,572 --> 00:11:58,307 Thanks. That's surprisingly insightful. 335 00:11:58,341 --> 00:12:00,509 Yeah, well, motherhood... 336 00:12:00,510 --> 00:12:02,378 Really opens a man's eyes. 337 00:12:02,412 --> 00:12:04,513 I finally feel as if I'm part of something 338 00:12:04,514 --> 00:12:06,749 bigger than myself. All right. 339 00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:07,750 Too much? Yeah. 340 00:12:07,751 --> 00:12:09,919 Peralta. What the hell? 341 00:12:09,953 --> 00:12:12,154 Where were you? I got eliminated. 342 00:12:12,155 --> 00:12:14,256 'Scuse me, officer. 343 00:12:14,257 --> 00:12:16,325 Yes, sweetheart. Sweetheart? 344 00:12:16,326 --> 00:12:17,693 Seriously, Hank? Is that how you 345 00:12:17,694 --> 00:12:19,128 talk to women who come in here? 346 00:12:19,162 --> 00:12:20,500 Jimmy jabs. 347 00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:22,331 I didn't even make it past one person. 348 00:12:22,365 --> 00:12:24,333 You're out? I'm in the finals? 349 00:12:24,334 --> 00:12:25,935 And all I have to do to get Katie's number 350 00:12:25,936 --> 00:12:27,570 is beat Amy? Oh, that's nothing. 351 00:12:27,604 --> 00:12:30,606 Hey! Don't you dare touch Amy Junior. 352 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,007 That's right. 353 00:12:32,008 --> 00:12:33,909 It's your baby! 354 00:12:33,944 --> 00:12:36,011 Are you sayin' I knocked you up? 355 00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:38,013 You sure did! Jake. 356 00:12:38,014 --> 00:12:40,182 Hmm? Can I talk to you for a second? 357 00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:42,284 Yeah, sure thing. Hold that. 358 00:12:42,285 --> 00:12:43,485 - Sure. - All right, Jake... 359 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:44,954 You wanna call off the bet? 360 00:12:44,955 --> 00:12:46,555 Seriously? You're gonna back out now 361 00:12:46,556 --> 00:12:47,823 just 'cause you're losing? 362 00:12:47,824 --> 00:12:49,191 What is this, a riverboat casino 363 00:12:49,192 --> 00:12:50,860 on the river of no rules? 364 00:12:50,894 --> 00:12:53,462 No. I'm giving you a chance to call off the bet 365 00:12:53,463 --> 00:12:55,531 because it's clear you don't actually want Katie's number 366 00:12:55,532 --> 00:12:57,199 because you're still into Amy. 367 00:12:57,234 --> 00:12:59,835 What? That's crazy. I just spent the whole day 368 00:12:59,836 --> 00:13:01,303 fighting for another girl's number. 369 00:13:01,304 --> 00:13:03,272 Tsk. You spent the whole day flirting with Amy. 370 00:13:03,306 --> 00:13:05,341 Yeah, we're joking around because we're friends 371 00:13:05,342 --> 00:13:06,809 now that I've moved on. 372 00:13:06,843 --> 00:13:08,310 Then prove it. 373 00:13:08,311 --> 00:13:11,147 Beat Amy and don't flirt with her at all. 374 00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:13,749 Fine. Easy. But you better tell Katie 375 00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:15,551 to clear her schedule out thursday for a date, 376 00:13:15,552 --> 00:13:17,386 'cause I am working nights until then, 377 00:13:17,387 --> 00:13:19,021 and the following weekend, I am out of town. 378 00:13:19,022 --> 00:13:20,892 Let's do this! 379 00:13:23,879 --> 00:13:25,513 Hey, Jake. Question for ya. 380 00:13:25,547 --> 00:13:26,848 When I beat you, 381 00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:28,449 which victory dance should I do? 382 00:13:28,450 --> 00:13:31,619 This one? 383 00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:34,489 Or this one? 384 00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:36,224 Oh, wow, okay. 385 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,929 Both are examples of victory dances. 386 00:13:41,964 --> 00:13:43,297 No comeback? 387 00:13:43,298 --> 00:13:45,399 After I burned you with those moves? 388 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,602 You must be pretty nervous. 389 00:13:47,636 --> 00:13:49,103 Yep. 390 00:13:49,138 --> 00:13:50,705 Hey, Jake. Hey, Charles. 391 00:13:50,739 --> 00:13:54,308 Who's this with me? 392 00:13:54,309 --> 00:13:56,711 Hitchcock? 393 00:13:58,747 --> 00:14:02,016 Well, we should go now. 394 00:14:02,017 --> 00:14:03,985 Wow! 395 00:14:03,986 --> 00:14:05,653 What a high! 396 00:14:05,654 --> 00:14:07,622 Do you guys feel this way all the time? 397 00:14:07,656 --> 00:14:09,657 I did what you wanted. Give me the tape. 398 00:14:09,658 --> 00:14:11,959 Oh, no, we're not done yet. 399 00:14:11,994 --> 00:14:14,162 Next, I want you to tell everyone 400 00:14:14,163 --> 00:14:15,830 you think I'm handsome. 401 00:14:15,831 --> 00:14:17,532 Make it seem natural. 402 00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:19,934 You are a monster! 403 00:14:21,537 --> 00:14:23,371 So they're calling the drug "giggle pig"? 404 00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:25,073 Chief fisker. 405 00:14:25,107 --> 00:14:27,208 Sergeant Jeffords. Raymond. 406 00:14:27,209 --> 00:14:28,576 Deputy chief Wuntch. 407 00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:29,911 I didn't realize you'd be attending. 408 00:14:29,945 --> 00:14:31,379 I can tell. 409 00:14:31,380 --> 00:14:33,414 You have more of a fly-catching gape than usual. 410 00:14:33,449 --> 00:14:35,516 I've examined his proposal. 411 00:14:35,551 --> 00:14:37,752 There's no proof that giggle pig is a serious problem. 412 00:14:37,786 --> 00:14:39,187 So we're just supposed to wait 413 00:14:39,188 --> 00:14:40,588 until it turns into an epidemic? 414 00:14:40,622 --> 00:14:42,857 You're like the league of nations in '36... 415 00:14:42,858 --> 00:14:45,860 Just hoping the abyssinian crisis resolves itself. 416 00:14:45,894 --> 00:14:49,230 That's the lesson you draw from the fall of addis ababa? 417 00:14:49,231 --> 00:14:51,332 Raymond, you sound so naive. 418 00:14:51,366 --> 00:14:55,269 And you sound just like Victor Emmanuel III. 419 00:14:55,304 --> 00:14:57,972 I have no idea who's winning. 420 00:14:57,973 --> 00:14:59,240 I am. 421 00:14:59,274 --> 00:15:00,641 Captain Holt, how serious a threat 422 00:15:00,642 --> 00:15:02,610 do you really think giggle pig poses? 423 00:15:02,644 --> 00:15:04,545 Very serious. Or it could be nothing. 424 00:15:04,580 --> 00:15:06,214 Or it could be the new crack. 425 00:15:06,215 --> 00:15:07,582 The new crack? 426 00:15:07,583 --> 00:15:09,450 And you only need $1,200 to fight it? 427 00:15:09,485 --> 00:15:11,285 Well, in an ideal situation, 428 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,821 we would attack the problem with a lot more fire power, 429 00:15:13,822 --> 00:15:15,723 perhaps even a task force. 430 00:15:15,758 --> 00:15:18,626 That makes sense. Let's make it happen. 431 00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:19,927 That was amazing! 432 00:15:19,928 --> 00:15:21,729 We got a task force! 433 00:15:21,764 --> 00:15:25,099 More importantly, Wuntch got served. 434 00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:26,334 Oh, my God. 435 00:15:26,335 --> 00:15:28,903 Wuntch sounds like lunch. 436 00:15:28,904 --> 00:15:31,239 Now, this opens up so many new avenues... 437 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:32,407 You got your task force. 438 00:15:32,408 --> 00:15:34,041 I'm surprised. 439 00:15:34,076 --> 00:15:35,510 That's funny, after 20 years, I'd think you'd be 440 00:15:35,511 --> 00:15:37,613 used to me slam-dunking in your face. 441 00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:40,314 I'm surprised you didn't see what was going on in there. 442 00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,483 I got you riled up, you oversold giggle pig, 443 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,585 and now you're running an expensive task force 444 00:15:44,586 --> 00:15:46,497 in a time of budget cuts. 445 00:15:46,522 --> 00:15:48,890 You better make some big arrests... and quick, 446 00:15:48,924 --> 00:15:52,794 or you'll be the poster boy for departmental waste. 447 00:15:52,795 --> 00:15:55,096 Slam dunk... returned. 448 00:15:55,130 --> 00:15:57,198 Not if we make those arrests. 449 00:15:57,199 --> 00:15:59,300 3-point dunk. 450 00:15:59,301 --> 00:16:01,436 You guys really don't know enough about basketball 451 00:16:01,437 --> 00:16:03,473 to be doing this. 452 00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,473 Join hands, one and all, 453 00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:07,108 for we have reached the final event 454 00:16:07,109 --> 00:16:08,242 of the Jimmy jabs... 455 00:16:08,277 --> 00:16:10,111 the obstacle course. 456 00:16:10,145 --> 00:16:12,080 Good luck. You're gonna need it. 457 00:16:14,049 --> 00:16:15,883 Yes. We all need luck. 458 00:16:15,884 --> 00:16:17,785 Thank you for offering me some. 459 00:16:17,820 --> 00:16:18,853 On your mark, 460 00:16:18,887 --> 00:16:20,154 get Seth... 461 00:16:20,189 --> 00:16:22,156 - Rogen! - Go, Amy! 462 00:16:22,157 --> 00:16:25,393 Contestants must make it past the barricade hurdles 463 00:16:25,394 --> 00:16:28,730 then use a bean bag gun to get a snack. 464 00:16:28,731 --> 00:16:30,131 Ah! 465 00:16:30,165 --> 00:16:33,134 You will eat the snack in its entirety. 466 00:16:33,168 --> 00:16:34,836 Ah! Mmm! 467 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,108 Come on... Close, close, close, close! 468 00:16:40,142 --> 00:16:42,276 Ah! Ugh! 469 00:16:42,311 --> 00:16:43,945 Next, head down to the first floor 470 00:16:43,979 --> 00:16:46,881 where you will locate a pamphlet about bullying. 471 00:16:46,915 --> 00:16:49,517 Then print out a picture of me 472 00:16:49,518 --> 00:16:51,686 using a laptop from 1982 473 00:16:51,687 --> 00:16:54,989 whoever grabs their printout first is the winner! 474 00:16:54,990 --> 00:16:56,324 Aah! 475 00:16:56,325 --> 00:16:57,859 Surprise twist! 476 00:16:59,862 --> 00:17:02,363 Aah! 477 00:17:02,364 --> 00:17:03,931 What are you doing, Santiago? 478 00:17:03,932 --> 00:17:05,433 Go! 479 00:17:05,434 --> 00:17:08,036 Aah! You're burning my skin! 480 00:17:08,037 --> 00:17:11,272 No broken rolly wheels! 481 00:17:13,242 --> 00:17:15,543 I did it! I took my time, 482 00:17:15,544 --> 00:17:18,179 I wasn't a crazy idiot, and I won! 483 00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:20,248 I finally ♪ wo-on ♪ 484 00:17:20,249 --> 00:17:22,016 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 485 00:17:22,017 --> 00:17:23,851 Yes! Ye... 486 00:17:26,388 --> 00:17:28,056 What's going on here? 487 00:17:29,891 --> 00:17:32,060 Someone answer him now! 488 00:17:32,061 --> 00:17:33,628 Santiago! 489 00:17:33,629 --> 00:17:35,763 Peralta! 490 00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:38,766 Boyle? Hitchcock is very handsome. 491 00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,101 Why, thank you, Boyle. 492 00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:42,103 No one has anything to say? 493 00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:45,373 Captain, what you just saw was the Jimmy jab games. 494 00:17:45,374 --> 00:17:47,642 It's a bunch of dumb contests we play to kill the time. 495 00:17:47,643 --> 00:17:49,110 Nobody even cares who wins. 496 00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:50,578 I won! 497 00:17:50,579 --> 00:17:52,146 It's stupid, but we like it. 498 00:17:52,147 --> 00:17:54,716 Clean this up. Now. 499 00:17:57,586 --> 00:17:59,587 Boyle, I'm ready to take this to the next stage. 500 00:17:59,588 --> 00:18:01,556 You're gonna pierce my ear... wait. 501 00:18:01,557 --> 00:18:03,224 What are you doing in my locker? 502 00:18:03,225 --> 00:18:05,593 I can't do this. I can't make you look cool. 503 00:18:05,594 --> 00:18:07,261 Because you're afraid that Jake and I 504 00:18:07,262 --> 00:18:08,996 are gonna cut you out. 505 00:18:08,997 --> 00:18:11,299 Well, you're not wrong. I'm gonna find that tape. 506 00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,567 You think I'd just leave 507 00:18:12,568 --> 00:18:14,235 something that valuable lying around? 508 00:18:14,236 --> 00:18:16,637 I got it on me. Oh! 509 00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,773 Gimme that tape! 510 00:18:18,774 --> 00:18:20,641 Ah! Gimme that tape! 511 00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:23,444 Jake! Help me! 512 00:18:23,445 --> 00:18:25,246 Ugh! Ah! Uhh! Ugh! 513 00:18:25,247 --> 00:18:27,181 The serbian President's plane is wheels up. 514 00:18:27,182 --> 00:18:29,283 Report to your motorcade positions immediately. 515 00:18:29,284 --> 00:18:31,185 Let's go! 516 00:18:31,186 --> 00:18:33,087 Hey, you gave it a good try. 517 00:18:33,088 --> 00:18:34,122 Sorry you lost. 518 00:18:34,123 --> 00:18:37,425 No. It's for the best. 519 00:18:37,426 --> 00:18:38,926 I let Amy win. 520 00:18:38,927 --> 00:18:40,862 Close, close, close, close! 521 00:18:40,863 --> 00:18:42,296 Ah! Oh! 522 00:18:42,297 --> 00:18:45,199 You're right. I'm not over her. 523 00:18:50,553 --> 00:18:52,855 Boyle, get out. I need to talk to Jake. 524 00:18:52,856 --> 00:18:54,757 Okay. Bye! 525 00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:56,658 I warmed up the seat. 526 00:18:59,829 --> 00:19:01,263 Ugh, he did warm up the seat. 527 00:19:01,264 --> 00:19:02,664 It's like a fire pit. 528 00:19:02,699 --> 00:19:04,800 Look, if you're here for your $200, 529 00:19:04,834 --> 00:19:07,202 can I interest you in a check that will definitely bounce? 530 00:19:07,203 --> 00:19:08,704 No. You will pay me in cash. Ok. 531 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,508 Look, I thought I was over Amy, 532 00:19:12,509 --> 00:19:14,209 but clearly I'm not, you know? 533 00:19:14,210 --> 00:19:15,544 I'm as frustrated as you are. 534 00:19:15,578 --> 00:19:17,346 I'm not frustrated. 535 00:19:17,347 --> 00:19:19,014 But I am not enjoying this. 536 00:19:19,015 --> 00:19:22,351 It is not like you to get hung up on a girl. 537 00:19:22,352 --> 00:19:23,552 I don't know what to do. 538 00:19:23,586 --> 00:19:25,888 You call Katie. That's what you do. 539 00:19:25,889 --> 00:19:28,057 Only way to move on is to move on 540 00:19:28,058 --> 00:19:30,426 whether you think you're ready to or not. 541 00:19:30,427 --> 00:19:32,795 Gotta get out there, man. 542 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:34,263 All right. 543 00:19:34,297 --> 00:19:35,764 Thank you. 544 00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:37,032 Good luck. 545 00:19:38,501 --> 00:19:40,436 Are you okay, sir? 546 00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:42,271 I don't want to sound dramatic, 547 00:19:42,272 --> 00:19:45,541 but today has been sub-optimal. 548 00:19:45,542 --> 00:19:47,076 That doesn't leave this office. 549 00:19:47,110 --> 00:19:48,911 Muntch beat me. 550 00:19:48,945 --> 00:19:51,146 The squad was a disaster. 551 00:19:51,147 --> 00:19:53,382 And in the end, you know who I'm angriest with? 552 00:19:53,416 --> 00:19:55,617 Yourself? No. Muntch. 553 00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,920 I need this task force to succeed, 554 00:19:57,921 --> 00:19:59,655 and there's not a Detective here 555 00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:01,423 who's adult enough to lead it. 556 00:20:01,458 --> 00:20:03,292 Peralta and Santiago were cowards, 557 00:20:03,293 --> 00:20:05,094 Diaz was disrespectful, 558 00:20:05,095 --> 00:20:07,563 and I just saw Hitchcock and Boyle 559 00:20:07,564 --> 00:20:09,594 fighting like children. 560 00:20:09,599 --> 00:20:11,033 Get off... Get off me! 561 00:20:11,067 --> 00:20:12,634 Hitchcock... Gimme that tape! 562 00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:14,236 You're squeezing my boobs! 563 00:20:14,270 --> 00:20:17,573 Sir, I know you think Rosa disrespected you, 564 00:20:17,607 --> 00:20:20,142 but I found her inspiring. 565 00:20:20,176 --> 00:20:21,376 She did what I should have done... 566 00:20:21,411 --> 00:20:23,112 Stand up and tell you the truth. 567 00:20:23,146 --> 00:20:25,581 And what truth is that? 568 00:20:25,582 --> 00:20:27,483 First, everyone else 569 00:20:27,484 --> 00:20:30,586 made this Wuntch-lunch connection instantly. 570 00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,921 Second, Wuntch didn't beat you. 571 00:20:32,956 --> 00:20:34,890 She saddled me with this task force. 572 00:20:34,924 --> 00:20:37,092 You think she's consumed with pettiness? 573 00:20:37,093 --> 00:20:38,127 You're no better. 574 00:20:38,161 --> 00:20:40,596 Yes, the task force is risky, 575 00:20:40,597 --> 00:20:42,931 but it gives us a chance to do a lot of good 576 00:20:42,932 --> 00:20:44,566 in the community. 577 00:20:44,567 --> 00:20:47,269 Sir, if you ask me, 578 00:20:47,270 --> 00:20:50,539 you're acting like a real Victor Emmanuel III. 579 00:20:50,573 --> 00:20:53,409 You used that insult completely incorrectly. 580 00:20:53,443 --> 00:20:54,977 But... 581 00:20:55,011 --> 00:20:58,113 I suppose I have let Madeline... distract me 582 00:20:58,114 --> 00:20:59,848 from our purpose. 583 00:20:59,883 --> 00:21:03,152 Which is why I think Rosa should lead the task force. 584 00:21:03,153 --> 00:21:04,482 There's no B.S. with her. 585 00:21:04,487 --> 00:21:06,488 Agreed. 586 00:21:06,489 --> 00:21:09,324 Thank you, sergeant. 587 00:21:09,325 --> 00:21:12,995 And... I know you were lying about that Wuntch-lunch thing. 588 00:21:12,996 --> 00:21:14,492 That was mine. 589 00:21:16,332 --> 00:21:19,334 How was the motorcade? Any assassinations? 590 00:21:19,335 --> 00:21:20,969 No. It was boring. 591 00:21:20,970 --> 00:21:23,572 Mmm. Well, thanks for getting the tape back. 592 00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:26,341 Oh! 593 00:21:26,342 --> 00:21:28,710 Oh, guys! Oh! 594 00:21:28,711 --> 00:21:30,679 I'll see you tonight at my place? 595 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,815 God, I hate you. Don't be late. 596 00:21:32,816 --> 00:21:38,572 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/