1
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:06,404
Good morning, Diaz, Peralta.
2
00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:08,841
Captain.
You're smiling.
3
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,609
It's very weird, like seeing
a turtle out of its shell.
4
00:00:11,644 --> 00:00:12,878
I'm happy.
5
00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:14,479
Our drug task force
was a success,
6
00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:16,882
and today, I get to watch
my Nemesis, Madeline Wuntch,
7
00:00:16,883 --> 00:00:18,783
drape a medal around my neck.
8
00:00:18,818 --> 00:00:20,318
Also, we cleaned up the streets.
9
00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:21,553
Yeah, sure.
That's good too.
10
00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:23,522
So I've been planning
how to zing Madeline
11
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:24,822
when she puts the medal on.
12
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,090
I have the perfect line.
13
00:00:26,125 --> 00:00:27,859
"Wuntch-time is over."
14
00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:31,996
It's a...
It's a play on "lunch time."
15
00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:33,665
Yes, devastating burn, sir.
16
00:00:33,666 --> 00:00:35,400
But you know what would
really show her
17
00:00:35,401 --> 00:00:36,801
is if you said nothing at all.
18
00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:38,503
Oh, interesting. Interesting.
19
00:00:38,504 --> 00:00:40,038
Let Madeline know
she's not even worth
20
00:00:40,039 --> 00:00:41,439
my staying up all night
crafting zingers.
21
00:00:41,474 --> 00:00:42,940
"Wuntch-time" took you
all night?
22
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:45,344
Trust me.
Turn the other cheek.
23
00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:48,513
Which I recently learned
is about faces and not butts,
24
00:00:48,514 --> 00:00:49,680
but works either way.
25
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:50,948
Yes.
26
00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:52,317
I should be the bigger person.
27
00:00:52,318 --> 00:00:53,719
That shouldn't be hard,
given that
28
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,787
Madeline's not technically
a person.
29
00:00:56,823 --> 00:01:01,059
For meritorious service, the
NYPD bestows this award
30
00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:04,195
on detectives Rosa Diaz,
Jake Peralta,
31
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,431
and Captain...
32
00:01:06,432 --> 00:01:07,999
Raymond Holt.
33
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,539
Raymond.
Madeline.
34
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:16,875
You won.
35
00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:18,809
Go ahead and gloat, you toad.
36
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:22,647
Thank you for this honor,
deputy chief.
37
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:27,819
Oh.
Okay.
38
00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:29,954
You're welcome.
39
00:01:29,955 --> 00:01:31,056
Wuntch-time is over.
40
00:01:31,057 --> 00:01:32,591
Boom! Did it!
41
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:33,926
Had it both ways.
42
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,427
No regrets.
43
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:39,218
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
44
00:01:56,716 --> 00:01:57,715
Listen up, gang.
45
00:01:57,717 --> 00:02:02,454
We have intel on a drop
house used by Alexei Bisko,
46
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,888
a Captain
in the Ukrainian mafia.
47
00:02:03,923 --> 00:02:05,057
Oh, he should be psyched.
48
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,024
That's a very
up-and-coming mafia.
49
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:08,427
His soldiers use the site
50
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:10,195
to drop off money
and pick up weapons.
51
00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:12,763
We need a couple of teams
to do long-term stakeouts.
52
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:13,799
I'm out.
53
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:14,900
Four hours is the most
54
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,034
I've ever spent alone
with any human.
55
00:02:16,035 --> 00:02:17,368
It was the worst experience
of my life.
56
00:02:17,403 --> 00:02:19,438
What about that time we drove
out to Boston together?
57
00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:21,740
That was about four hours.
58
00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:23,274
Oh, I see what just happened.
59
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,644
The only decent vantage
is this condemned hotel
60
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,644
across the street.
61
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,246
We can go in as exterminators,
62
00:02:28,247 --> 00:02:30,615
but too much movement
will look suspicious.
63
00:02:30,616 --> 00:02:33,284
It's an eight-day op, so two
teams will do four days each.
64
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:34,352
Boyle and I are in.
65
00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:36,321
Okay, that's one team.
66
00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:37,288
Who wants to relieve them?
67
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:38,457
If extraction is a risk,
68
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:40,058
the two of us
can do the full eight days.
69
00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:41,359
A Hanukkah miracle.
70
00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:44,629
No, that is too long to be
holed up together like that.
71
00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:46,264
I did a six-day stakeout once.
72
00:02:46,265 --> 00:02:47,965
Did not go well.
73
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,668
Well, that's not gonna be
a problem for us.
74
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,236
The only time
I ever yelled at Charles
75
00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:53,372
was cheering him on at
his roller boogie competition.
76
00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:54,373
We never fight.
77
00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:56,974
It won't be a stakeout,
it'll be a stake-cation.
78
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,544
♪ Stake me out tonight ♪
79
00:02:59,545 --> 00:03:03,482
♪ I don't want to let you go
till we catch this guy ♪
80
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:04,882
We already have a theme song.
81
00:03:04,917 --> 00:03:06,250
That concludes this meeting.
82
00:03:07,286 --> 00:03:08,986
Ooh, what's this?
83
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,756
None of your business.
84
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,123
"None of your business"?
85
00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:15,327
The most enticing words
a person can say.
86
00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:17,396
Terry, I will not leave
your side
87
00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:19,597
until there are no secrets
between us.
88
00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:20,632
Fine.
89
00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:23,167
I'm making my twins a picture
book for their birthday.
90
00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:26,538
It's calledJune Bug
and Cricket: Adventure girls.
91
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,806
Whoa, this one looks
just like you, Gina.
92
00:03:28,841 --> 00:03:30,242
Yes.
93
00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:32,810
She is straight-up gorgeous.
94
00:03:32,845 --> 00:03:34,146
And this one's definitely you.
95
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:35,980
Look how masculine
the clothes are.
96
00:03:36,015 --> 00:03:37,949
It's a suit of armor.
97
00:03:37,950 --> 00:03:39,517
Pantsuit of armor.
98
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,086
The drawings look like you two,
99
00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:44,489
but only because it's easier
for me to draw from real life.
100
00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:45,790
The whole squad's in here.
101
00:03:45,825 --> 00:03:49,728
Tiny squirrel is Charles,
the walrus is Captain Holt,
102
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,396
and the hippo with heads
on both ends,
103
00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:52,696
that's Hitchcock and Scully.
104
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:53,731
How do they defecate?
105
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:56,635
It's a kid's book, Santiago!
106
00:03:56,636 --> 00:04:00,072
This is why I didn't want
to show it to people.
107
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,605
Pickin' it apart.
108
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,518
Oh.
109
00:04:13,519 --> 00:04:15,853
Oh, my God, did you carry us
up here like suitcases?
110
00:04:15,888 --> 00:04:16,988
No, man.
111
00:04:16,989 --> 00:04:18,056
This is real life.
112
00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:19,223
I rolled you in on the cart.
113
00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:20,258
Boo!
114
00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:22,626
Terry sucks!
Terry sucks!
115
00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:23,895
Terry's great.
Terry's great.
116
00:04:23,896 --> 00:04:24,862
Where do you want the food?
117
00:04:24,897 --> 00:04:26,431
And does braided herring
118
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,667
and jellied starfish
count as food?
119
00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:30,368
Oh, indeed it does.
120
00:04:30,369 --> 00:04:31,903
I may be stuck in a tiny room,
121
00:04:31,904 --> 00:04:33,839
but my palate
will travel the world.
122
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:34,839
Listen up.
123
00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:36,241
This is a real small room.
124
00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:38,009
If you start getting on
each other's nerves,
125
00:04:38,010 --> 00:04:39,210
do what I do with my babies:
126
00:04:39,245 --> 00:04:41,045
Go to separate corners.
127
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,713
We call it "alone zones."
128
00:04:42,748 --> 00:04:45,249
All due respect, sarge,
but we don't need "alone zones."
129
00:04:45,284 --> 00:04:46,785
No, we do not.
130
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,552
But let me ask you a question.
131
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,722
How do we feel
about scone zones?
132
00:04:50,723 --> 00:04:52,156
I feel great about it.
133
00:04:52,191 --> 00:04:53,190
Me too.
134
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,226
Sarge?
135
00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:55,527
I'm a muffin guy.
136
00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:57,565
Boo!
Boo!
137
00:04:59,398 --> 00:05:00,698
Great news, my friend.
138
00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:02,868
We have a bathroom pet.
139
00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:05,170
His name is Horace,
and he's either a small rat
140
00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:08,506
or a large cockroach, and
he's either sleeping or dead.
141
00:05:08,541 --> 00:05:10,142
Here's the schedule:
142
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,709
Eight hours both on watch;
143
00:05:11,744 --> 00:05:13,044
Eight hours I sleep, you watch;
144
00:05:13,045 --> 00:05:14,546
Eight hours you sleep, I watch.
145
00:05:14,547 --> 00:05:15,746
I set an alarm.
146
00:05:15,781 --> 00:05:17,182
I made the perfect ringtone.
147
00:05:17,183 --> 00:05:18,450
Listen.
148
00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:20,251
♪ Stake me out tonight ♪
149
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:23,387
♪ I don't want to let you go
till we catch the guy ♪
150
00:05:23,422 --> 00:05:24,422
I love it.
151
00:05:24,423 --> 00:05:26,190
All right, we got binocs,
152
00:05:26,225 --> 00:05:29,326
camera, night vision goggles,
computer, and...
153
00:05:31,430 --> 00:05:33,264
Mini-basketball.
154
00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:35,467
Oh, my God, I love that.
155
00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:38,970
My whole problem with basketball
was big ball, tiny hands.
156
00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:40,438
Tiny ball, problem solved.
157
00:05:40,439 --> 00:05:41,438
Oop me.
158
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,842
Ready? Ooping.
One, two, three!
159
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,459
Did that look
as cool as it felt?
160
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:48,579
How cool did it feel?
161
00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:49,814
Mm.
162
00:05:49,815 --> 00:05:51,715
Everyone,
this is my nephew Marcus.
163
00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:53,384
He's new in town.
164
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,120
He's staying with me
until he finds a place.
165
00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:56,220
He is 31.
166
00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:57,621
You're a terrible hype-man.
167
00:05:57,657 --> 00:05:59,890
And you must be Gina.
168
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,226
I heard a lot about everyone.
169
00:06:01,227 --> 00:06:05,964
I take it you're
Amy, Rosa, Terry...
170
00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:08,500
I'm Jake.
We're both Jake.
171
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:10,468
Scully and Hitchcock.
172
00:06:10,469 --> 00:06:12,903
Hey, well, I just came to get
the keys from my uncle Ray.
173
00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:14,838
Let everybody get back to work.
174
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,308
Nice meeting you.
Pleasure.
175
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:17,341
Bye.
176
00:06:17,376 --> 00:06:19,644
Holy Moses.
177
00:06:19,645 --> 00:06:20,912
"Bye"?
What?
178
00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:23,081
For you, that's basically
walking up to him
179
00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:25,149
and jamming your tongue
down his throat.
180
00:06:25,184 --> 00:06:26,184
Shut up.
181
00:06:26,185 --> 00:06:27,284
Yes, Gina, that's enough.
182
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,720
You're right.
Sorry.
183
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:31,289
Too far.
184
00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:34,025
But let me just add
one little thing off topic.
185
00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:35,793
Rosa wants to bone your nephew.
186
00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:43,001
♪ Stake me out tonight ♪
187
00:06:43,002 --> 00:06:44,868
♪ I don't want to let you go
till we catch this guy ♪
188
00:06:49,308 --> 00:06:50,508
Wow.
189
00:06:50,509 --> 00:06:52,643
That sleep apnea mask
is something else, huh?
190
00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:54,679
I got to say,
191
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,514
ever since I got her...
Her?
192
00:06:56,515 --> 00:06:57,682
She touches my lips, Jake.
193
00:06:57,683 --> 00:06:59,017
She's a her.
194
00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:01,119
And since she took up residence
on my face,
195
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,420
I sleep like a baby.
196
00:07:02,421 --> 00:07:03,816
Okay.
197
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:04,956
Well, while you slept,
198
00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:06,477
there was some action
at the drop site.
199
00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:07,859
A blue sedan pulled up.
200
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:10,028
I got the plates
and the driver's face.
201
00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:12,831
Also, this is the guy
who runs the drop house.
202
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:15,367
I call him "the beach umbrella"
because he looks so shady.
203
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:16,367
Oh.
204
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:20,171
Hey, this is a kind of
weird request,
205
00:07:20,172 --> 00:07:22,540
but would you maybe mind
chewing your nortfluskers
206
00:07:22,541 --> 00:07:23,708
with your mouth closed?
207
00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:27,045
I can't, and I'm excited
to tell you why.
208
00:07:27,046 --> 00:07:28,345
I have a new eating method.
209
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:31,916
I realized that open mouths
oxygenate the food,
210
00:07:31,917 --> 00:07:34,184
so it's kind of like
wine tasting.
211
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,220
And I hear you, buddy.
212
00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:36,221
I really do.
213
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:38,056
It's just...
It's pretty gross,
214
00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:40,358
so maybe just while
we're together,
215
00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:43,093
you could keep
the old chewer shut?
216
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:46,865
Okay, but I don't complain
about how gross your meal is.
217
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:49,099
What's gross about pancakes
with butter and maple syrup?
218
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,036
You've completely abandoned
the pancake part.
219
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,536
Now you're just eating
butter with syrup on it.
220
00:07:52,571 --> 00:07:53,938
Yeah, I cut out the carbs.
221
00:07:53,939 --> 00:07:55,373
This is me being healthy.
222
00:07:55,374 --> 00:07:57,908
Okay, well, maybe we just eat
in separate corners of the room.
223
00:07:57,943 --> 00:07:59,276
Great.
I love that plan.
224
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:02,012
Wait!
That's alone zones.
225
00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:03,148
We don't need alone zones.
226
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,415
We're fine.
We're not fighting.
227
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:05,949
We're great.
Eat your butter-syrup.
228
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:08,218
Yeah, keep that chew hole open.
229
00:08:09,568 --> 00:08:12,337
♪ Stake me out tonight ♪
230
00:08:12,338 --> 00:08:13,872
♪ I don't want to let you go
till we catch this guy ♪
231
00:08:13,873 --> 00:08:15,974
It's a shift.
Love this song.
232
00:08:15,975 --> 00:08:17,975
I can't even remember
the original lyrics anymore.
233
00:08:18,011 --> 00:08:19,110
Hmm.
234
00:08:20,213 --> 00:08:22,413
Black SUV, female driver.
235
00:08:22,448 --> 00:08:24,148
She's wearing a lot
of drab colors,
236
00:08:24,183 --> 00:08:26,351
so we'll call her Mrs. peacock.
237
00:08:26,352 --> 00:08:28,620
Male peacocks are
the colorful dressers.
238
00:08:28,621 --> 00:08:31,455
God, how did humans
get it so backwards?
239
00:08:31,491 --> 00:08:32,656
We may never know.
Mm-hmm.
240
00:08:33,893 --> 00:08:37,561
Hey, listen, about
our alone zone close call...
241
00:08:37,597 --> 00:08:38,797
Oh, that...
It's not a big deal.
242
00:08:38,798 --> 00:08:40,464
We're not gonna start fighting.
We never fight.
243
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:41,500
Yeah, totally.
Yeah.
244
00:08:41,501 --> 00:08:43,101
That's what I was thinking.
245
00:08:43,102 --> 00:08:45,570
But just to be safe,
we could write down
246
00:08:45,571 --> 00:08:47,172
some of each other's
annoying behaviors
247
00:08:47,173 --> 00:08:49,541
that we want to be
off-limits, you know?
248
00:08:49,542 --> 00:08:50,975
We could call it
"the no-no list."
249
00:08:51,010 --> 00:08:53,978
Oh, I love it.
250
00:08:54,013 --> 00:08:56,847
Okay, so here's
what I've got for you.
251
00:08:56,883 --> 00:08:58,249
No eating with your mouth open.
252
00:08:58,284 --> 00:08:59,284
We knew that.
253
00:08:59,285 --> 00:09:02,320
No rasta-man voice,
no reciting poetry,
254
00:09:02,321 --> 00:09:06,291
no ballroom dancing, no bird
calls, and no male kegels.
255
00:09:06,292 --> 00:09:08,326
Can I do my kegels secretly?
Watch this.
256
00:09:08,327 --> 00:09:10,828
You'll never know
I'm doing them.
257
00:09:10,863 --> 00:09:12,464
I can definitely tell.
258
00:09:12,465 --> 00:09:13,998
All right, give me my no-no's.
259
00:09:14,033 --> 00:09:17,869
Okay, no butter-syrup, no
talking about Die Hard...
260
00:09:17,870 --> 00:09:19,371
Okay.
I can do that.
261
00:09:19,372 --> 00:09:21,006
Or Die Hard two
or Die Hard three.
262
00:09:21,007 --> 00:09:22,174
What?
Come on.
263
00:09:22,175 --> 00:09:23,974
So you just want me
to talk about the fourth one?
264
00:09:24,010 --> 00:09:25,543
There's a fourth one?
Charles!
265
00:09:25,578 --> 00:09:27,298
No judging me
for not knowing the Die Hards.
266
00:09:27,313 --> 00:09:28,712
All right, fine. What else?
Okay.
267
00:09:28,748 --> 00:09:30,849
No eating mayonnaise
straight from the jar,
268
00:09:30,850 --> 00:09:32,049
no using my toothbrush.
269
00:09:32,085 --> 00:09:33,285
And that's it.
270
00:09:33,286 --> 00:09:35,987
Jake, this no-no list,
it's a slam dunk.
271
00:09:35,988 --> 00:09:36,987
Oop me.
272
00:09:36,989 --> 00:09:39,124
Ooping.
273
00:09:41,694 --> 00:09:42,893
I'm getting better.
274
00:09:42,929 --> 00:09:43,994
Yeah, you are.
275
00:09:44,030 --> 00:09:45,696
You wanted to see me, sir?
276
00:09:45,731 --> 00:09:47,965
Have a seat, Diaz.
277
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:51,837
You remember my nephew Marcus?
The 31-year-old?
278
00:09:51,838 --> 00:09:53,905
He asked me to ask you
if you are single.
279
00:09:53,906 --> 00:09:56,108
I'm told him I'm not
a third-grade girl
280
00:09:56,109 --> 00:09:57,975
with pigtails
passing love notes.
281
00:09:58,010 --> 00:09:59,677
Yeah, it's so immature.
282
00:09:59,712 --> 00:10:01,178
Precisely.
It's embarrassing.
283
00:10:01,214 --> 00:10:02,881
Agreed.
284
00:10:02,882 --> 00:10:03,881
I am single.
285
00:10:03,883 --> 00:10:05,517
Oh.
286
00:10:05,518 --> 00:10:06,517
I see.
287
00:10:06,519 --> 00:10:10,254
But if Marcus wants my number,
he can ask me for it.
288
00:10:13,593 --> 00:10:17,394
But who will tell him that?
289
00:10:19,799 --> 00:10:21,166
Um, yeah.
290
00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:22,600
You took the last danish.
291
00:10:22,635 --> 00:10:24,001
Oh, sorry.
292
00:10:24,036 --> 00:10:26,471
Did you read Terry's book
about us?
293
00:10:26,472 --> 00:10:28,639
No.
He said not to read it.
294
00:10:30,409 --> 00:10:31,575
Okay, fine, I read it.
295
00:10:31,611 --> 00:10:34,212
My character, Cricket,
is such a pushover.
296
00:10:34,213 --> 00:10:35,580
She just lets
all the forest folk
297
00:10:35,581 --> 00:10:37,181
take her magic moose wishes.
298
00:10:37,216 --> 00:10:39,718
Well, June Bug
is a stone-cold bitch.
299
00:10:39,719 --> 00:10:43,788
She told all the baby platy-pups
they had weird feet.
300
00:10:43,789 --> 00:10:45,222
Is that how people see us?
301
00:10:45,258 --> 00:10:47,492
Well, you did just steal
that danish out of my hand
302
00:10:47,493 --> 00:10:48,860
and start eating it.
303
00:10:48,861 --> 00:10:50,262
And I let you.
304
00:10:50,263 --> 00:10:51,763
And apologized.
305
00:10:51,764 --> 00:10:53,264
Classic Cricket move.
306
00:10:53,299 --> 00:10:56,768
Hey, can I just scootch
in there to the coffee?
307
00:10:56,769 --> 00:11:00,204
You can scootch your ass
back in line.
308
00:11:00,239 --> 00:11:03,807
My coffee needs
are just as important as yours.
309
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:08,279
What was that all about?
310
00:11:08,281 --> 00:11:11,448
Terry, I try not to judge
people, so I wouldn't know.
311
00:11:11,484 --> 00:11:13,451
Maybe I should
go check on little Amy
312
00:11:13,452 --> 00:11:15,487
and give her
the greatest gift of all...
313
00:11:15,488 --> 00:11:16,887
A hug.
314
00:11:18,491 --> 00:11:20,090
Come on.
315
00:11:20,126 --> 00:11:22,993
Someone use the drop house.
316
00:11:23,029 --> 00:11:24,829
The drop house.
317
00:11:24,830 --> 00:11:27,032
Perfect name
for a porta-potty company.
318
00:11:27,033 --> 00:11:28,300
As soon as we get out of here,
319
00:11:28,301 --> 00:11:30,568
I am taking that
straight to shark tank.
320
00:11:30,603 --> 00:11:32,837
How great is this no-no list?
321
00:11:32,838 --> 00:11:36,240
I mean, we've made it impossible
to annoy each other.
322
00:11:36,275 --> 00:11:39,009
We're gonna make out
with this stakeout.
323
00:11:39,045 --> 00:11:41,746
Mm.
324
00:11:41,747 --> 00:11:44,014
Hey, bud, is rhyming
on your no-no list?
325
00:11:44,050 --> 00:11:45,115
No.
326
00:11:45,151 --> 00:11:47,385
Cool, cool.
327
00:11:47,386 --> 00:11:50,955
Just seems pretty close
to reciting poetry.
328
00:11:50,990 --> 00:11:52,756
Yeah, yeah.
But it's different.
329
00:11:52,792 --> 00:11:54,326
Yeah.
It's different.
330
00:11:54,327 --> 00:11:55,527
It's different.
331
00:11:57,663 --> 00:11:59,863
I'm just gonna add it.
332
00:11:59,899 --> 00:12:02,199
Oh, so we can add things now?
333
00:12:02,235 --> 00:12:03,535
Yeah, why not, right?
334
00:12:03,536 --> 00:12:05,436
I mean, we got the time,
and we got the ink.
335
00:12:05,471 --> 00:12:06,770
Everything but the kitchen sink.
336
00:12:06,806 --> 00:12:08,005
What did I just say?
337
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,541
Okay.
That is under Charles.
338
00:12:09,542 --> 00:12:11,076
Sure, sure, sure.
Cool, cool, cool...
339
00:12:15,014 --> 00:12:16,013
Good. To the window.
340
00:12:16,015 --> 00:12:17,348
Get back in the window.
341
00:12:20,419 --> 00:12:21,819
What is happening?
342
00:12:21,854 --> 00:12:24,455
I got to do this or the bullet
holes in my butt stiffen up.
343
00:12:24,490 --> 00:12:26,090
No talking about
your butt holes.
344
00:12:28,494 --> 00:12:32,264
Two...
345
00:12:32,265 --> 00:12:33,631
Three...
346
00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:34,732
No pull-ups.
347
00:12:36,802 --> 00:12:37,868
No yoga.
348
00:12:40,406 --> 00:12:41,405
No beatboxing.
349
00:12:41,407 --> 00:12:45,409
No letting it mellow.
350
00:12:45,444 --> 00:12:48,178
No sister act.
351
00:12:48,214 --> 00:12:49,680
No life hacks.
352
00:12:49,715 --> 00:12:52,450
No multi-level
marketing schemes.
353
00:12:52,451 --> 00:12:55,253
No calling legitimate
business ideas "schemes."
354
00:12:55,254 --> 00:12:57,554
No licking fingers
before turning pages.
355
00:12:57,590 --> 00:12:58,589
No impressions.
356
00:12:58,591 --> 00:12:59,690
No tea ceremonies.
357
00:12:59,725 --> 00:13:00,724
No cabbage patch.
358
00:13:00,726 --> 00:13:01,759
No parkour.
359
00:13:01,794 --> 00:13:03,560
No running man...
Movie or the dance.
360
00:13:03,596 --> 00:13:04,662
No unrequested lullaby.
361
00:13:04,697 --> 00:13:07,498
No lady-style towels.
362
00:13:15,478 --> 00:13:17,795
Hey.
No nose hair trimming.
363
00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:19,296
We're here for eight days, Jake.
364
00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:21,064
I don't care.
It's on the list.
365
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:23,333
Well, I hope you like
nostril bush.
366
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:25,102
Nostril bush?
367
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,337
All right, no more talking.
368
00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:27,772
No more talking at all.
369
00:13:27,773 --> 00:13:29,440
Fine, I'm putting that
on your list too.
370
00:13:29,441 --> 00:13:30,807
That was talking.
371
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:31,842
So was that.
372
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:34,145
Okay, fine.
In three, two, one.
373
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:35,479
No talking.
Zip it.
374
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,359
Hey, Captain.
375
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:50,594
How's the operation going?
376
00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:53,130
Great, the beach umbrella
has had nonstop visitors.
377
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,598
"The beach umbrella"?
378
00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:56,833
Bisko's lieutenant
who runs the drop site.
379
00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:58,769
We came up with fun little
nicknames for everyone.
380
00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:00,605
I'm glad you're amusing
yourselves.
381
00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:02,839
People thought you'd be
at each other's throats by now.
382
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,009
Do you need a relief team?
383
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:07,111
What?
Nuh-uh-uh!
384
00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:08,646
No sassy "nuh-uh-uhs."
385
00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:09,647
What was that?
386
00:14:09,648 --> 00:14:10,814
Uh, nothing.
387
00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:12,383
I just said we don't need
a relief team.
388
00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:13,684
Everything's going great.
Right, Boyle?
389
00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:14,752
Right. So great.
390
00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:16,853
Good.
See you in a couple of days.
391
00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:18,122
Okay, sounds good.
Okay, bye.
392
00:14:18,123 --> 00:14:19,324
Bye-bye now.
Bye. I love you.
393
00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:20,557
What?
394
00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:27,998
Hold the door.
395
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,000
Sorry, sarge.
396
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:30,134
Maybe if you did more cardio
397
00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:31,603
and less weights,
you'd move faster.
398
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:32,869
No, no, no, Amy.
399
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:34,973
We need to be the change
we want to see in the elevator.
400
00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:36,174
Uh-uh.
Door open. Door open.
401
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:38,742
Door close. Door close.
Door open. Door open.
402
00:14:38,777 --> 00:14:40,477
What is going on with you two?
403
00:14:40,512 --> 00:14:42,579
What's going on with you?
Love.
404
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:43,681
That's it.
405
00:14:43,682 --> 00:14:46,618
Time for an emergency
stop and talk.
406
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:47,618
Okay, fine.
407
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:48,987
You want to know
what's going on?
408
00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:50,421
We read your book.
409
00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:53,157
And you should know
I'm not a pushover.
410
00:14:53,158 --> 00:14:55,593
And I'm not a stone-cold bitch.
411
00:14:55,594 --> 00:14:57,995
I'm a natural,
beautiful presence.
412
00:14:58,030 --> 00:15:01,633
Okay, I'm sorry
these characters look like you,
413
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:04,402
but that's where
the resemblance stops.
414
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:07,605
Sure, June Bug is a meanie
to the platy-pups,
415
00:15:07,606 --> 00:15:10,040
but she's a sweetheart
to the socktopus.
416
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,143
And Cricket is a pushover
417
00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:13,911
when it comes to
magic moose wishes,
418
00:15:13,912 --> 00:15:17,848
but she's very brave
in the dolphin wars.
419
00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:22,787
I guess what I'm saying is,
these stories are nonsense.
420
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:24,188
I love you guys,
421
00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:26,257
but if you're bringing
something more to my book,
422
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,393
that's on you.
423
00:15:30,295 --> 00:15:31,929
If you hadn't stopped
the elevator,
424
00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:35,199
you could have walked off
after your great speech.
425
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,067
Now we all got to sit in it.
426
00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:40,805
Marcus, you leaving?
427
00:15:40,806 --> 00:15:42,039
Come, have breakfast with us.
428
00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:43,908
You're up early.
429
00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:45,208
Okay.
430
00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:51,715
And Detective Diaz is here
as well.
431
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,751
Hey.
432
00:15:53,752 --> 00:15:54,751
Hello, Kevin.
433
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,319
Rosa. Marcus.
434
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:57,621
Kevin. Uncle Ray.
435
00:15:57,656 --> 00:15:59,691
Marcus.
And cheddar.
436
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:01,258
Cheddar is also here.
437
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:02,460
Uh, would you care to join us?
438
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:03,460
Sure.
439
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,963
Shall we sit?
440
00:16:05,964 --> 00:16:07,631
I don't think...
Sit.
441
00:16:07,666 --> 00:16:10,868
Good, then feel no obligation
to stay, Rosa.
442
00:16:10,869 --> 00:16:12,470
Detective Diaz.
443
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:15,672
Detective Rosa Diaz
is in my breakfast nook.
444
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,075
So who would like french toast?
445
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:18,742
I can put a bacon smile on it.
446
00:16:18,777 --> 00:16:20,444
My being here is weird.
447
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:21,611
This was a bad idea.
448
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,515
We shouldn't
see each other again.
449
00:16:25,884 --> 00:16:29,220
Well, Detective Rosa Diaz
has left.
450
00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:30,654
Hmm.
451
00:16:33,692 --> 00:16:35,093
The only food left
in the whole room
452
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:36,193
is your stupid herring.
453
00:16:36,228 --> 00:16:37,861
Oh, so we're talking now?
454
00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:40,131
Well, I guess so,
since words came out of my mouth
455
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:41,131
and you heard them.
456
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:42,667
That's glib.
No being glib.
457
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:43,667
It's on the list.
458
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,136
I'm so sick of the list.
459
00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:46,703
I don't even know
what "glib" means.
460
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:47,872
Ask yourself this.
461
00:16:47,873 --> 00:16:49,741
Is it something you can hear
Garfield saying?
462
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,374
If so, it's glib.
463
00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:52,577
So what, you want me
464
00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:54,712
to just be Garfield's owner,
Jon Arbuckle?
465
00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:55,947
Think about what you're saying.
466
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,547
He's spineless and bland.
467
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,149
And by the way,
me keeping things light
468
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:02,152
and being "Garfeldian" is
the only reason we don't fight.
469
00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:04,655
Wrong, baby.
470
00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:06,023
The only reason we don't fight
471
00:17:06,024 --> 00:17:08,593
is because I never say anything
when you annoy me,
472
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,460
which is constantly, baby.
473
00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:11,795
I just let it roll off.
474
00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:13,563
I'm a duck's back, baby.
475
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:14,865
Stop saying "baby."
476
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,534
Charles Boyle
calls people "baby"
477
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:17,535
when he gets angry.
478
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:18,735
That's who I am.
479
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:20,605
And all this is who I am.
480
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,206
And if you don't like
this stuff,
481
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:23,640
then we shouldn't be friends.
482
00:17:23,675 --> 00:17:24,976
Great.
'Cause guess what?
483
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:26,644
We're not friends.
484
00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:29,347
That's fine with me, baby.
485
00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:37,187
Uh-oh.
486
00:17:41,293 --> 00:17:44,195
Well, the operation is blown.
487
00:17:44,196 --> 00:17:46,030
♪ Stake me out tonight ♪
488
00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:47,831
♪ I don't want to let you go
till we catch the guy ♪
489
00:17:47,832 --> 00:17:50,534
Oh, I hate this song.
I stand by it.
490
00:17:52,099 --> 00:17:54,449
Well, I'm gonna
check this stuff back in.
491
00:17:54,450 --> 00:17:55,450
Great. Do it.
492
00:17:55,451 --> 00:17:56,851
Okay.
493
00:17:56,852 --> 00:17:57,851
Then we're done.
494
00:17:57,853 --> 00:17:58,986
Yeah, then we're done.
495
00:18:00,089 --> 00:18:01,689
Well, well, well.
496
00:18:01,690 --> 00:18:05,059
Looks like Boyle's out
and Hitchcock's in.
497
00:18:05,060 --> 00:18:06,227
What do you want to do tonight?
498
00:18:06,228 --> 00:18:07,228
Go to a strip club?
499
00:18:07,229 --> 00:18:08,729
Have dinner with my wife?
500
00:18:08,764 --> 00:18:09,964
Are those separate options,
501
00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:11,398
or does she live
at the strip club?
502
00:18:11,433 --> 00:18:13,200
You want to know, you got to go.
503
00:18:13,235 --> 00:18:14,636
Okay.
504
00:18:14,637 --> 00:18:17,438
Peralta, thanks to
your basketball mishap,
505
00:18:17,439 --> 00:18:18,773
the drop site
has been abandoned,
506
00:18:18,774 --> 00:18:20,674
and Alexei Bisko's
gone to ground.
507
00:18:20,709 --> 00:18:23,176
We told you eight days
was too long for a stakeout.
508
00:18:23,212 --> 00:18:25,413
With all due respect, sir,
it wasn't the amount of time.
509
00:18:25,414 --> 00:18:26,681
It's who I was stuck there with.
510
00:18:26,682 --> 00:18:28,582
I could easily have done it
with Scully.
511
00:18:28,617 --> 00:18:29,817
Really?
512
00:18:29,818 --> 00:18:31,686
You would've applied
that cream to his back?
513
00:18:31,687 --> 00:18:32,987
No, I would've put it
on the floor
514
00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,088
and let him roll around in it.
515
00:18:34,089 --> 00:18:35,489
This isn't my first rodeo.
516
00:18:35,524 --> 00:18:36,591
You need to find Bisko.
517
00:18:36,592 --> 00:18:37,892
You can start
by doing door duty,
518
00:18:37,893 --> 00:18:39,127
see if anyone knows where he is.
519
00:18:39,128 --> 00:18:40,160
Take Boyle.
520
00:18:40,195 --> 00:18:43,565
Sir, I'd like to request
a new partner.
521
00:18:43,566 --> 00:18:44,632
I can't work with Charles.
522
00:18:44,633 --> 00:18:45,832
We're not friends anymore.
523
00:18:45,868 --> 00:18:46,868
"Friends?"
524
00:18:46,869 --> 00:18:48,069
I don't care if you're friends.
525
00:18:48,070 --> 00:18:49,070
This is not a playdate.
526
00:18:49,071 --> 00:18:51,772
This is your commanding officer
ordering you to do your job.
527
00:18:51,807 --> 00:18:54,208
Fine, but I hope you
can live with the fact
528
00:18:54,209 --> 00:18:56,210
that you're forcing people
to spend time together
529
00:18:56,211 --> 00:18:57,845
who would rather not.
530
00:18:57,846 --> 00:18:59,646
I'm fine with that.
531
00:19:01,550 --> 00:19:04,117
Sarge, I need to talk to you
about the kid's book.
532
00:19:04,153 --> 00:19:05,153
Seriously?
533
00:19:05,154 --> 00:19:07,188
I'm wrapping it right
now, and I need to focus.
534
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:09,157
Look, I know the story
is nonsense
535
00:19:09,158 --> 00:19:12,693
and I'm not a forest nymph
who wears armor pantsuits,
536
00:19:12,728 --> 00:19:15,797
but I think it bothered me
because sometimes
537
00:19:15,798 --> 00:19:18,166
I can be too much of a pushover.
538
00:19:18,167 --> 00:19:21,268
To be honest, it felt nice to
stand up for myself this week.
539
00:19:21,303 --> 00:19:22,869
Good for you, Santiago.
540
00:19:22,905 --> 00:19:25,939
I also learned a valuable lesson
from your stupid book.
541
00:19:25,975 --> 00:19:27,775
I learned I'm perfect
the way I am,
542
00:19:27,776 --> 00:19:29,443
and I should never change.
543
00:19:30,512 --> 00:19:34,048
This is a symbolic gesture.
544
00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:36,951
I'm speaking to you as a
friend, not a Captain.
545
00:19:36,952 --> 00:19:40,955
And as your friend, I
have this brassiere
546
00:19:40,956 --> 00:19:43,357
you left behind in Marcus' room.
547
00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:51,132
Also, I just wanted you to know,
548
00:19:51,133 --> 00:19:54,202
um, I think Marcus
is great, and...
549
00:19:54,203 --> 00:19:56,237
And you're great,
550
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:59,807
and I hope the fact
that you and I work together
551
00:19:59,808 --> 00:20:04,611
won't prevent you from dating
if that's what you want to do.
552
00:20:04,647 --> 00:20:06,681
I might.
553
00:20:06,682 --> 00:20:08,183
But I don't want to
talk to you about it.
554
00:20:08,217 --> 00:20:12,452
Perfect, because I'm not
comfortable knowing about it.
555
00:20:12,488 --> 00:20:15,789
Great, then let's
never talk about it.
556
00:20:15,824 --> 00:20:17,158
Let's never talk about anything.
557
00:20:17,159 --> 00:20:18,291
Done.
558
00:20:18,327 --> 00:20:20,361
This is Bisko's aunt's
apartment.
559
00:20:20,362 --> 00:20:21,596
Maybe she's seen something.
560
00:20:21,597 --> 00:20:23,330
Let's just get this over with.
561
00:20:28,570 --> 00:20:29,704
Yes?
562
00:20:29,705 --> 00:20:30,971
It's Bisko. Fire escape.
563
00:20:31,006 --> 00:20:32,072
I'll cut him off at the back.
564
00:20:35,644 --> 00:20:37,045
Freeze! NYPD!
565
00:20:43,986 --> 00:20:45,620
♪ Fatty had it made ♪
566
00:20:45,621 --> 00:20:47,989
♪ Like a blade in the sun,
like a push in the bush ♪
567
00:20:47,990 --> 00:20:49,490
Hey!
568
00:20:49,491 --> 00:20:50,925
♪ When you got none ♪
569
00:20:50,926 --> 00:20:52,360
♪ Ping pong ♪
570
00:20:55,931 --> 00:20:59,634
Alexei Bisko,
you're under arrest.
571
00:21:01,103 --> 00:21:02,102
You okay?
572
00:21:02,104 --> 00:21:03,770
Yeah.
573
00:21:03,806 --> 00:21:04,906
Thanks for having my back.
574
00:21:04,907 --> 00:21:06,541
You don't have to thank me.
575
00:21:06,542 --> 00:21:08,776
I've always got your back.
576
00:21:08,777 --> 00:21:10,677
Look, this whole thing
has been so stupid.
577
00:21:10,713 --> 00:21:12,280
Right?
578
00:21:12,281 --> 00:21:13,281
Are we friends again?
579
00:21:13,282 --> 00:21:14,281
No.
580
00:21:16,085 --> 00:21:17,385
We're brothers.
581
00:21:17,386 --> 00:21:18,653
Gah, that was terrifying!
582
00:21:18,654 --> 00:21:20,053
Don't pause like that.
583
00:21:20,089 --> 00:21:22,623
Look, brothers fight, but
at the end of the day,
584
00:21:22,624 --> 00:21:24,024
they're always there
for each other.
585
00:21:24,579 --> 00:21:26,406
My brother had sex with my wife,
586
00:21:26,407 --> 00:21:28,731
and then he ran
to the Florida keys.
587
00:21:28,732 --> 00:21:30,520
One day I'll finish him.
588
00:21:30,521 --> 00:21:32,464
Just be arrested, man.
589
00:21:32,465 --> 00:21:33,914
We're trying to have
a moment here.
590
00:21:33,915 --> 00:21:39,895
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/