1 00:00:00,843 --> 00:00:02,978 Oh my God. They're in the coats. 2 00:00:02,979 --> 00:00:04,880 They're in our coats! 3 00:00:06,015 --> 00:00:09,737 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 4 00:00:09,738 --> 00:00:16,959 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:26,703 --> 00:00:28,570 Okay. I don't want Sophia to know 6 00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:30,372 that I'm waiting for her, so... 7 00:00:30,373 --> 00:00:33,242 Should we pretend to have a heated argument that I win? 8 00:00:33,243 --> 00:00:35,677 Oh, or better yet: a physical contest that I win. 9 00:00:35,678 --> 00:00:37,112 What's going on? 10 00:00:37,113 --> 00:00:38,480 I thought things were good with you and Sophia. 11 00:00:38,481 --> 00:00:39,615 Jake. 12 00:00:39,649 --> 00:00:41,083 Did you do something dumb? 13 00:00:41,117 --> 00:00:42,584 That's a really good question, but actually no, 14 00:00:42,585 --> 00:00:43,752 I don't think so. 15 00:00:43,753 --> 00:00:44,786 It's just been a little weird lately. 16 00:00:44,787 --> 00:00:45,787 She's acting kind of distant. 17 00:00:45,788 --> 00:00:46,922 Have you talked to her? 18 00:00:46,956 --> 00:00:48,423 No, I don't want to seem desperate. 19 00:00:48,458 --> 00:00:49,491 Talking to her is desperate? 20 00:00:49,492 --> 00:00:51,226 Well, it's not breezy. 21 00:00:51,227 --> 00:00:53,362 Jake? Hey. Hey. 22 00:00:53,363 --> 00:00:54,796 What are you guys doing here? 23 00:00:54,797 --> 00:00:56,765 Oh, just arguing about America. 24 00:00:56,766 --> 00:00:58,500 Did you know that the Sarge doesn't think 25 00:00:58,501 --> 00:00:59,635 we should have given women the right to vote? 26 00:00:59,669 --> 00:01:01,403 That is not true. 27 00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:02,704 Oh, sure, you say that now that she's here. 28 00:01:02,739 --> 00:01:04,406 But, hey, now that we've accidentally 29 00:01:04,407 --> 00:01:05,941 bumped into each other, what are you doing tonight? 30 00:01:05,942 --> 00:01:07,209 You want to hang out? Oh, I can't. 31 00:01:07,210 --> 00:01:08,410 I have that event for The Association 32 00:01:08,411 --> 00:01:09,878 of The Brooklyn Public Defenders 33 00:01:09,913 --> 00:01:12,047 Remember, you called it "Satan's Charity Ball, 34 00:01:12,048 --> 00:01:14,383 colon, Rise of the Demons?" Oh yeah. 35 00:01:14,417 --> 00:01:16,685 Defense attorneys are monsters. Oh. 36 00:01:16,686 --> 00:01:19,555 Uh, except for you. No, you're fine. 37 00:01:19,589 --> 00:01:21,089 Oh, that's so sweet. 38 00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:22,925 Right, right. But I have a minute right now. 39 00:01:22,926 --> 00:01:24,393 You want to go take a walk in the park? 40 00:01:24,394 --> 00:01:26,195 Oh, a walk in the park. How romantic. 41 00:01:26,196 --> 00:01:27,729 And I know where all the murder spots are. 42 00:01:27,764 --> 00:01:29,565 Oh. Do you want to see them or avoid them? 43 00:01:29,599 --> 00:01:30,966 The choice is yours, m'lady. 44 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,202 Terry, don't wait up. 45 00:01:33,203 --> 00:01:34,736 It's 10:00 A.M. Yep. 46 00:01:34,771 --> 00:01:38,640 Deputy Chief Wuntch is here to see you. 47 00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:39,975 Oh, please stay, Diaz. 48 00:01:39,976 --> 00:01:41,910 I need a witness in case her head starts spinning around 49 00:01:41,911 --> 00:01:43,412 or if she turns into a she-wolf. 50 00:01:43,413 --> 00:01:44,580 Hello, Raymond. 51 00:01:44,614 --> 00:01:46,849 No flaccid rejoinder? 52 00:01:46,850 --> 00:01:48,016 Hmm. What's going on? 53 00:01:48,051 --> 00:01:50,219 I'm here on important business. 54 00:01:50,220 --> 00:01:52,721 I'm a frontrunner for a job in the Boston PD. 55 00:01:52,722 --> 00:01:54,923 Boston? But it's so close to Salem. 56 00:01:54,924 --> 00:01:57,259 You do know what they do to witches up there, don't you? 57 00:01:57,293 --> 00:02:00,128 This is amazing. The job is Chief of Police. 58 00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:02,764 I see. So you've come to brag. 59 00:02:02,799 --> 00:02:05,901 No. 60 00:02:05,902 --> 00:02:07,769 The only blemish on my record 61 00:02:07,770 --> 00:02:10,239 is our long history of interpersonal turbulence. 62 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:11,306 The Boston Commissioner would like 63 00:02:11,307 --> 00:02:12,407 to speak with you about it. 64 00:02:12,442 --> 00:02:16,411 I've come to ask for your help. 65 00:02:16,412 --> 00:02:17,746 The commissioner will be calling you. 66 00:02:17,747 --> 00:02:21,683 Wait. Shh shh shh shh shh shh shh. 67 00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:23,585 Oh. Moment savored. 68 00:02:23,586 --> 00:02:26,255 So, where were we? Ah yes, you were talking 69 00:02:26,256 --> 00:02:30,292 about how I hold your fate in the palm of my hand. 70 00:02:30,293 --> 00:02:32,628 Oopsie. 71 00:02:32,629 --> 00:02:34,530 Oh my God. 72 00:02:34,531 --> 00:02:36,698 Oh, I'm sorry. I lost my balance. 73 00:02:36,733 --> 00:02:39,301 You think I'm bothered by a little spilled milkshake? 74 00:02:39,302 --> 00:02:41,537 I'm a food blogger, I'm stained all over. 75 00:02:41,571 --> 00:02:43,906 Okay, what is going on with you two? 76 00:02:43,940 --> 00:02:44,940 Well, you know how our parents have been 77 00:02:44,941 --> 00:02:46,041 tender-sexing each other? 78 00:02:46,075 --> 00:02:48,243 Ew. Precisely, Amy. Ew. 79 00:02:48,244 --> 00:02:49,978 Boyle and I made a pact to break them up, 80 00:02:49,979 --> 00:02:52,714 and now this sticky little gummy bear is backing out. 81 00:02:52,749 --> 00:02:55,484 Look, I know you don't want our lives intertwined, 82 00:02:55,485 --> 00:02:56,585 but things have changed. 83 00:02:56,586 --> 00:02:58,320 My father want to marry your mom. 84 00:02:58,354 --> 00:03:01,156 So you choose your dad over me, 85 00:03:01,157 --> 00:03:02,791 your coworker who hates you. 86 00:03:02,792 --> 00:03:04,126 Papa's a gentleman. 87 00:03:04,127 --> 00:03:05,994 He won't propose until he gets Gina's blessing 88 00:03:05,995 --> 00:03:07,496 And she won't give it to him. 89 00:03:07,497 --> 00:03:09,765 Who says "papa?" Are you a little French boy? 90 00:03:09,766 --> 00:03:10,933 Oh ho-ho-ho. 91 00:03:10,934 --> 00:03:12,067 I think maybe I can help. 92 00:03:12,102 --> 00:03:17,639 I took a seminar on conflict resolution and... 93 00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:21,110 I have been waiting weeks to bust this bad boy out. 94 00:03:22,479 --> 00:03:24,012 New binder smell. 95 00:03:24,013 --> 00:03:25,981 Mm-mm. Amy don't do this. 96 00:03:25,982 --> 00:03:29,551 I'm gonna throw a milkshake in your face. 97 00:03:29,586 --> 00:03:31,520 This is nice. 98 00:03:31,521 --> 00:03:32,821 I feel like old people. 99 00:03:32,822 --> 00:03:36,525 Should we sit here? 100 00:03:36,526 --> 00:03:39,094 Jake, there's something I want to talk to you about. 101 00:03:39,095 --> 00:03:40,662 So, my boss hasn't been assigning me 102 00:03:40,697 --> 00:03:42,097 any of the good cases, 103 00:03:42,098 --> 00:03:44,099 and I found out it's because I'm dating a cop. 104 00:03:44,134 --> 00:03:45,234 What? 105 00:03:45,235 --> 00:03:46,368 Did he actually say that? 106 00:03:46,403 --> 00:03:48,704 No, but my colleagues did. 107 00:03:48,705 --> 00:03:49,938 You know, everybody I work with 108 00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:51,507 think of cops as the enemy. 109 00:03:51,508 --> 00:03:53,275 That's crazy. They're the enemy. 110 00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:54,777 I see what you mean. 111 00:03:54,778 --> 00:03:56,612 Jake, I really like you, 112 00:03:56,613 --> 00:03:59,748 but my job's really important to me, too. 113 00:03:59,749 --> 00:04:01,550 Can we press pause on this? 114 00:04:01,551 --> 00:04:02,818 Press pause? 115 00:04:02,852 --> 00:04:05,120 Just until I figure out what to do with my boss. 116 00:04:05,121 --> 00:04:07,056 Is that okay? 117 00:04:07,057 --> 00:04:09,425 So this is just about your boss? 118 00:04:09,426 --> 00:04:11,260 Okay. Yes, let's press pause. 119 00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,295 Let's pause the hell out of this. 120 00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:14,463 Let's pause this like I pause 121 00:04:14,464 --> 00:04:16,131 Jamie Lee Curtis in Trading Places. 122 00:04:16,166 --> 00:04:18,000 I haven't seen that movie, but I'm assuming she's naked. 123 00:04:18,034 --> 00:04:19,034 Mm-hmm. 124 00:04:19,035 --> 00:04:20,903 "Pause" seems bad, Jake. 125 00:04:20,904 --> 00:04:22,237 Why aren't you more upset? 126 00:04:22,238 --> 00:04:23,972 Because Sophia's problem isn't with me, 127 00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:25,240 it's with her dumb boss. 128 00:04:25,241 --> 00:04:26,675 That's something I can fix. 129 00:04:26,676 --> 00:04:28,410 I'm gonna make him like me. 130 00:04:28,411 --> 00:04:30,579 Here is the target... Geoffrey Hoytsman. 131 00:04:30,613 --> 00:04:32,114 Now, according to the internet, 132 00:04:32,115 --> 00:04:34,216 his interests are: skiing, his terrier, 133 00:04:34,217 --> 00:04:36,819 Atlantic City, the film 12 Years a Slave, and nature. 134 00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:38,353 Obviously nature is super boring, 135 00:04:38,354 --> 00:04:40,723 and the slave film is a little bit dicey. 136 00:04:40,757 --> 00:04:42,358 It's real dicey. Yeah. 137 00:04:42,359 --> 00:04:45,260 So I will focus mainly on skiing and Atlantic city 138 00:04:45,295 --> 00:04:46,995 when I talk to him tonight at the fundraiser 139 00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:49,031 for The Association of Brooklyn Public Defenders, 140 00:04:49,032 --> 00:04:51,567 A.K.A. The Chamber of Asses. 141 00:04:51,568 --> 00:04:52,868 No, wait. That's too sexy. 142 00:04:52,869 --> 00:04:54,169 The Chamber of Snakes. 143 00:04:54,170 --> 00:04:55,270 Anyway, it starts at 8:00, 144 00:04:55,305 --> 00:04:56,505 so you should probably get dressed. 145 00:04:56,539 --> 00:04:58,707 What? I am not going to that. 146 00:04:58,708 --> 00:05:00,309 Please, Sarge. Just come. 147 00:05:00,310 --> 00:05:02,444 Do it for me. Do it for love. 148 00:05:02,479 --> 00:05:05,414 Damn, Jake. You know Terry loves love. 149 00:05:05,415 --> 00:05:06,682 I'm in. All right! 150 00:05:06,683 --> 00:05:08,217 Now put on your phoniest smile 151 00:05:08,218 --> 00:05:10,853 'cause we're going into the belly of the beast. 152 00:05:10,854 --> 00:05:12,154 Phonier. 153 00:05:12,155 --> 00:05:13,355 Phonier! 154 00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:15,624 Ah, there it is. Into the beast! 155 00:05:16,793 --> 00:05:18,394 ♪ I go to work ♪ 156 00:05:18,395 --> 00:05:23,732 ♪ ♪ 157 00:05:23,733 --> 00:05:25,768 ♪ I go to work ♪ 158 00:05:27,175 --> 00:05:29,243 All of our worst enemies are here. 159 00:05:29,244 --> 00:05:31,245 Brown hair guy. Pony tail lady. 160 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:32,980 Asian Don Cheadle. 161 00:05:32,981 --> 00:05:34,148 I refuse to learn their names 162 00:05:34,149 --> 00:05:35,616 because it humanizes them. 163 00:05:35,617 --> 00:05:38,419 But you'll never forget their smug lawyer faces. 164 00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:41,022 Each one brings back a specific, horrible memory. 165 00:05:41,056 --> 00:05:43,190 Like courtroom PTSD. 166 00:05:43,225 --> 00:05:45,493 Incompetent! 167 00:05:45,494 --> 00:05:47,061 Idiot! 168 00:05:47,062 --> 00:05:49,664 Mint? 169 00:05:49,665 --> 00:05:51,265 I could have choked on that mint 170 00:05:51,266 --> 00:05:53,501 Even the nice ones are psychopaths. 171 00:05:53,502 --> 00:05:54,702 All right. Let's get fired up. 172 00:05:54,703 --> 00:05:56,370 Pound on my shoulders. That's my stuff. 173 00:05:56,371 --> 00:05:57,705 Wait! Wait! No, don't hurt me! 174 00:05:57,706 --> 00:05:59,006 Ah, that was a bad idea. I'll bang my own sulders. 175 00:05:59,007 --> 00:06:01,208 Let's go. 176 00:06:01,243 --> 00:06:03,577 Detective, have a seat. 177 00:06:03,612 --> 00:06:06,547 I am grappling with a highly vexing conundrum. 178 00:06:06,581 --> 00:06:08,249 What to do about Deputy Chief Wuntch? 179 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:09,250 Precisely. 180 00:06:09,251 --> 00:06:10,952 I could torpedo her promotion. 181 00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:13,587 Just saying it brims my soul with joy. 182 00:06:13,588 --> 00:06:15,156 But to do so 183 00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:16,757 would mean would mean that she stays here in New York City 184 00:06:16,758 --> 00:06:20,294 hanging over me like an albino bat. 185 00:06:20,295 --> 00:06:23,364 On the other hand, if I "praise" Wuntch, 186 00:06:23,365 --> 00:06:25,433 she will leave this city, the clouds will part, 187 00:06:25,434 --> 00:06:27,468 and the children will sing "Wuntch is gone." 188 00:06:27,502 --> 00:06:29,070 What children? 189 00:06:29,071 --> 00:06:31,606 All the children. Right. That was a stupid question. 190 00:06:31,607 --> 00:06:33,040 What was Sarge's advice? 191 00:06:33,041 --> 00:06:35,243 Oh, you and I both know what Mother Jeffords would say. 192 00:06:35,244 --> 00:06:37,478 "Take the high road." But I asked you, 193 00:06:37,512 --> 00:06:42,116 Detective Diaz, because you understand vengeance. 194 00:06:42,117 --> 00:06:45,486 Yes, I do. 195 00:06:45,487 --> 00:06:47,088 I had a nemesis once: 196 00:06:47,089 --> 00:06:48,456 Carla Bianchi. Mm. 197 00:06:48,457 --> 00:06:50,191 She wronged me, 198 00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:52,727 and I crushed her like a gnat 199 00:06:52,728 --> 00:06:54,362 between my fingers. 200 00:06:54,363 --> 00:06:56,297 I got her suspended from the second grade. 201 00:06:56,331 --> 00:06:59,800 Second grade? That little turd hoarded all the good markers. 202 00:06:59,801 --> 00:07:02,203 But eventually, she came back to school. 203 00:07:02,204 --> 00:07:05,539 And she made the next ten years 204 00:07:05,540 --> 00:07:07,742 of my life miserable. 205 00:07:07,743 --> 00:07:09,310 It's not worth it. 206 00:07:09,311 --> 00:07:10,711 Be nice to Wuntch. 207 00:07:10,746 --> 00:07:13,347 "Be nice to Wuntch?" 208 00:07:13,348 --> 00:07:15,416 You may go now, 209 00:07:15,417 --> 00:07:17,785 Mother Diaz. 210 00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:23,624 I hate this. Everyone is looking at us. 211 00:07:23,659 --> 00:07:26,661 Only because we're equally massive, beautiful men in tuxes. 212 00:07:26,662 --> 00:07:29,263 Yeah. Sophia. 213 00:07:29,264 --> 00:07:32,333 Heeeeeeey, girlfriend. 214 00:07:32,334 --> 00:07:34,302 That came out saucier than I was expecting. 215 00:07:34,336 --> 00:07:37,138 Yeah. Hey, Jake, What are you doing here? 216 00:07:37,139 --> 00:07:39,073 I thought we agreed to press pause. 217 00:07:39,107 --> 00:07:40,841 We did. I'm not here to see you. 218 00:07:40,842 --> 00:07:42,710 I'm here to see your boss, Geoffrey Hoytsman. 219 00:07:42,744 --> 00:07:44,345 We're gonna bond. Oh, God. 220 00:07:44,346 --> 00:07:46,447 Oh, good indeed. You misheard me on purpose. 221 00:07:46,448 --> 00:07:48,316 Possibly. Look, I'm gonna charm him. 222 00:07:48,317 --> 00:07:49,917 He's going to start giving you the good cases again. 223 00:07:49,918 --> 00:07:52,720 This is gonna work. No, it's not. 224 00:07:52,721 --> 00:07:55,022 How can I explain this? Oh, Okay. 225 00:07:55,023 --> 00:07:57,758 Imagine this room is full of super-intelligent robots... 226 00:07:57,793 --> 00:08:00,061 Oh. Hell-bent on ending humanity, 227 00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:01,696 and you are a working-class human 228 00:08:01,697 --> 00:08:02,930 who just entered their swarm-hive. 229 00:08:02,965 --> 00:08:04,832 Okay, love this, love you, keep going. 230 00:08:04,867 --> 00:08:06,534 Oh, that's a really weird moment 231 00:08:06,535 --> 00:08:08,336 to say you love me for the first time. 232 00:08:08,370 --> 00:08:09,704 Oh no. Was it? 233 00:08:09,738 --> 00:08:10,938 I'm just gonna blow past that. Yeah. 234 00:08:10,939 --> 00:08:14,075 Look, the point is, you can't charm robots. 235 00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:16,677 So you should go before they pod you and harvest your brain. 236 00:08:16,712 --> 00:08:18,513 Look, I've done my research on Hoytsman: 237 00:08:18,514 --> 00:08:21,916 Skiing, nature, Atlantic City, I'm ready for him. 238 00:08:21,950 --> 00:08:25,019 Sophia. Sergeant Jeffords. 239 00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:26,387 Detective Peralta. 240 00:08:26,421 --> 00:08:28,823 Please, my friends call me Jakey Snowpants, 241 00:08:28,824 --> 00:08:30,424 because I'm skiing so much. 242 00:08:30,425 --> 00:08:32,493 Carving moguls on a black diamond. 243 00:08:32,528 --> 00:08:34,228 I prefer cross-country skiing. 244 00:08:34,229 --> 00:08:36,497 It's not a sport if gravity does the work for you. 245 00:08:36,532 --> 00:08:38,733 Yeah. Gravity sucks. 246 00:08:38,734 --> 00:08:40,701 Not the movie, the theory. Anyway, I've been spending 247 00:08:40,736 --> 00:08:42,236 most of my weekends in Atlantic City these days. 248 00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:44,372 Oh, that place is a dump. No. 249 00:08:44,373 --> 00:08:48,042 Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to steal Sophia away. 250 00:08:48,043 --> 00:08:50,745 You can't charm the robots. 251 00:08:50,746 --> 00:08:52,547 What in the frig was that? 252 00:08:52,548 --> 00:08:54,515 He's always in Atlantic City. 253 00:08:54,516 --> 00:08:56,250 Why would he go someplace he hates so much? 254 00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:58,419 Unless there was something there he loves. 255 00:08:58,420 --> 00:09:00,421 I bet he loves gambling. 256 00:09:00,422 --> 00:09:02,323 Just like I'm here in this dump 257 00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:04,158 because of Sophia, who I now love. 258 00:09:04,193 --> 00:09:05,793 You're really going hard on this love thing. 259 00:09:05,828 --> 00:09:07,195 Well, I said it out loud. It's on the record. 260 00:09:07,196 --> 00:09:10,198 I can't take it back Just get on board, Terry. 261 00:09:10,199 --> 00:09:11,966 Hello, Gina. Ah! 262 00:09:11,967 --> 00:09:13,234 What are you creeps doing? 263 00:09:13,268 --> 00:09:15,269 You made me look away from my phone. 264 00:09:15,270 --> 00:09:17,071 You better pray I didn't miss a text. 265 00:09:17,105 --> 00:09:19,307 In your two seconds you looked away? 266 00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:22,109 17 texts. All of them important. 267 00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:24,145 Amy suggested we negotiate terms, 268 00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:26,514 so if you agree to give my dad his blessing, 269 00:09:26,515 --> 00:09:27,815 here's what I'll do for you. 270 00:09:27,816 --> 00:09:30,985 "You will never see me in my pajamas on a family trip. 271 00:09:30,986 --> 00:09:32,220 "We will never share a bunk bed. 272 00:09:32,254 --> 00:09:34,155 "And I won't force you to participate 273 00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:37,024 in our annual themed Christmas cards." 274 00:09:37,025 --> 00:09:39,393 This year my dad was Mary and I was the baby Jesus. 275 00:09:39,394 --> 00:09:41,796 Yeah, I know. Got one. Lived the nightmare. 276 00:09:41,797 --> 00:09:43,364 Well, the list goes on. I signed it. 277 00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:45,066 Amy notarized it. I'm a notary. 278 00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:47,001 No big deal. I met the comptroller. 279 00:09:47,035 --> 00:09:48,402 Okay, you know what? 280 00:09:48,403 --> 00:09:50,571 This isn't about out lives getting intertwined, okay? 281 00:09:50,572 --> 00:09:52,340 I'm actually worried about my mom 282 00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:54,475 'cause she's been hurt before. 283 00:09:54,476 --> 00:09:56,377 This is all moving way too fast. 284 00:09:56,411 --> 00:09:58,613 Wow. Gina. 285 00:09:58,614 --> 00:09:59,747 That's really sweet. 286 00:09:59,748 --> 00:10:01,382 And the only reason I didn't tell you guys 287 00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:03,084 is 'cause I don't value you as people, 288 00:10:03,085 --> 00:10:05,019 so it's, like, why be honest? 289 00:10:05,053 --> 00:10:06,888 Yeah, you just went back and ruined what you said. 290 00:10:06,889 --> 00:10:08,055 Right. Mm-hmm. 291 00:10:08,056 --> 00:10:10,558 Look, I know I'm a stage five player, 292 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:12,794 just mowing down chicks left and right, 293 00:10:12,795 --> 00:10:14,429 but my dad's not like that. 294 00:10:14,463 --> 00:10:16,130 He would never hurt your mom. 295 00:10:16,131 --> 00:10:19,267 Just talk to him, you'll see. 296 00:10:19,268 --> 00:10:21,069 Fine. I'll talk to him. 297 00:10:21,070 --> 00:10:22,603 Just to ask him some questions. 298 00:10:22,604 --> 00:10:24,005 But go get him before I change my mind. 299 00:10:24,039 --> 00:10:25,039 Okay. Okay. 300 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,941 Oh. I already changed my mind. 301 00:10:26,942 --> 00:10:28,509 Aww. All right, I'm back. 302 00:10:28,510 --> 00:10:30,344 Oh. Oh. I'm back. 303 00:10:30,345 --> 00:10:32,880 After that, the judge just threw it out on the spot. 304 00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:37,718 That judge has a deep voice, right? 305 00:10:37,719 --> 00:10:40,354 I'm gonna go, uh, check out the food. 306 00:10:40,355 --> 00:10:41,823 Hey. 307 00:10:41,824 --> 00:10:43,224 Bet you five buck you can't guess 308 00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:47,662 three of the hors d'oeuvres they're serving. 309 00:10:47,663 --> 00:10:49,564 I'll take that action. 310 00:10:49,598 --> 00:10:50,932 Chicken satay, 311 00:10:50,933 --> 00:10:52,500 tuna tartare, 312 00:10:52,501 --> 00:10:54,202 shot glasses of gazpacho. 313 00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:57,038 Satay, tartare... 314 00:10:57,039 --> 00:10:59,006 no 'szpach. 315 00:10:59,007 --> 00:11:01,109 Where the 'szpach, Hoytsman? 316 00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:03,378 Yes! 'Szpach! 317 00:11:03,379 --> 00:11:06,114 No! Well played. 318 00:11:06,115 --> 00:11:07,315 Unless you want to go double or nothing. 319 00:11:07,349 --> 00:11:10,218 I'm listening. 320 00:11:10,219 --> 00:11:13,921 Oh, nothing but glass! 321 00:11:13,922 --> 00:11:17,091 I'll bet you can't tell how tall the Sarge is. 322 00:11:17,126 --> 00:11:18,760 In eggrolls. 323 00:11:18,794 --> 00:11:23,631 24. Exactly 25 eggrolls tall. 324 00:11:23,632 --> 00:11:25,333 Celebration eggroll. 325 00:11:25,334 --> 00:11:26,801 Hey, man, that was on the floor. 326 00:11:26,835 --> 00:11:28,469 You're on the floor. 327 00:11:28,504 --> 00:11:30,872 60 bucks says you can't remove one glass 328 00:11:30,873 --> 00:11:33,007 without knocking the whole thing over. 329 00:11:33,008 --> 00:11:38,579 You didn't say I couldn't grab the top one. 330 00:11:40,816 --> 00:11:42,016 Yes! 331 00:11:42,017 --> 00:11:44,752 100 bucks says I can jump from the roof and survive. 332 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:47,488 Oh, I don't think you can... 333 00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:49,257 Just messing with you, Peralta. 334 00:11:49,258 --> 00:11:50,925 I gotta hit the head. Oh, then we'll bet on 335 00:11:50,926 --> 00:11:52,060 who can shove more shrimp in his mouth. 336 00:11:52,061 --> 00:11:53,561 You're on. I got a big mouth though. 337 00:11:53,562 --> 00:11:55,029 You're in trouble. 338 00:11:55,030 --> 00:11:56,397 I thought you were leaving. 339 00:11:56,398 --> 00:11:57,532 Were you just talking to Hoytsman? 340 00:11:57,566 --> 00:11:59,767 Talking. Bonding. Betting. 341 00:11:59,768 --> 00:12:02,236 Oh, I should bet him that I can pee for longer than he can. 342 00:12:02,237 --> 00:12:04,672 Ugh. The trick is to pinch it. 343 00:12:04,673 --> 00:12:05,740 All right. I'll be right back. 344 00:12:05,741 --> 00:12:10,445 Oh. Gotta fill up the tank. 345 00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:12,313 Ah! Hello Geoffrey. 346 00:12:12,348 --> 00:12:13,848 Hello. 347 00:12:13,882 --> 00:12:17,485 And that's cocaine. 348 00:12:19,214 --> 00:12:20,782 This night is making me incredibly anxious. 349 00:12:20,816 --> 00:12:22,617 Oh hey, Stay close. 350 00:12:22,618 --> 00:12:24,152 Someone messed with the champagne tower. 351 00:12:24,153 --> 00:12:25,186 You're all I've got. 352 00:12:25,220 --> 00:12:27,722 Jake is stupid, but he's smart. 353 00:12:27,723 --> 00:12:29,457 I think his plan is actually working. 354 00:12:29,491 --> 00:12:32,794 Oh God. Hey, so, 355 00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:35,263 No big deal, but I arrested your boss, 356 00:12:35,264 --> 00:12:36,297 and I never should have come here. 357 00:12:36,331 --> 00:12:37,598 Well I read that wrong. 358 00:12:37,599 --> 00:12:39,834 Oh, this is insane. This is so insane. 359 00:12:39,835 --> 00:12:41,435 I wasn't doing anything. 360 00:12:41,436 --> 00:12:42,637 He was snorting cocaine in the bathroom. 361 00:12:42,671 --> 00:12:45,173 Okay, for the last time, that is not what happened. 362 00:12:45,174 --> 00:12:47,775 And that's cocaine. 363 00:12:47,776 --> 00:12:49,911 Are you sure? 364 00:12:49,912 --> 00:12:51,512 Five dollars says you're wrong. 365 00:12:51,513 --> 00:12:52,947 Let me get in there. Take a good look and smell. 366 00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:54,849 No, don't. 367 00:12:54,850 --> 00:12:56,617 Okay. It was cocaine. 368 00:12:56,618 --> 00:12:58,486 Turns out I was accidentally doing some cocaine. 369 00:12:58,520 --> 00:12:59,654 Not on accident. 370 00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:01,255 You put it in your nose on purpose. 371 00:13:01,256 --> 00:13:03,524 I don't even think I have a nose, Peralta. 372 00:13:03,525 --> 00:13:05,526 I certainly cannot feel it. 373 00:13:05,527 --> 00:13:06,561 The defense rests! 374 00:13:06,595 --> 00:13:08,162 Shh. Keep your voices down. 375 00:13:08,197 --> 00:13:09,197 What is going on here? 376 00:13:09,231 --> 00:13:10,398 Nothing. Nothing at all. 377 00:13:10,399 --> 00:13:13,401 Sophia's cop boyfriend is arresting me 378 00:13:13,435 --> 00:13:15,303 in front of my friends and colleagues. 379 00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:20,141 Hey, everyone. I'm Jake. 380 00:13:20,142 --> 00:13:24,412 So who here saw 12 Years A Slave? 381 00:13:24,446 --> 00:13:26,147 Best picture. 382 00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:28,015 Well, Diaz, 383 00:13:28,050 --> 00:13:29,083 the deed is done. 384 00:13:29,118 --> 00:13:30,551 You torpedoed her promotion? 385 00:13:30,586 --> 00:13:31,886 Sadly, no. 386 00:13:31,887 --> 00:13:34,589 I gave that goblin a good recommendation. 387 00:13:34,590 --> 00:13:37,058 Your story about the marketer really hit me. 388 00:13:37,059 --> 00:13:39,127 I began to realize that if even you thought 389 00:13:39,128 --> 00:13:40,862 I should take the high road, that was probably 390 00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:41,996 the right choice. 391 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,865 I'm sorry you didn't get your vengeance. 392 00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:46,134 Mother Holt. Good one. 393 00:13:46,135 --> 00:13:48,970 But I am still planning to get some retribution. 394 00:13:48,971 --> 00:13:51,939 I got her a parting gift. 395 00:13:51,940 --> 00:13:53,941 Tickets to Wicked? 396 00:13:53,942 --> 00:13:55,443 In Boston. 397 00:13:55,444 --> 00:13:56,778 She's moving to a second-class city, 398 00:13:56,812 --> 00:13:59,113 and I wanted to rub her nose in it. 399 00:13:59,114 --> 00:14:00,848 Enjoy the understudies, Madeline. 400 00:14:00,849 --> 00:14:03,251 Have fun watching some chubby Chenoweth knock-off 401 00:14:03,252 --> 00:14:07,655 warble her way through Popular. 402 00:14:07,656 --> 00:14:09,057 Hello, Lynn. 403 00:14:09,058 --> 00:14:10,191 Hi, Regina. 404 00:14:10,192 --> 00:14:11,859 Don't play games with me, boy. 405 00:14:11,860 --> 00:14:13,695 This is a bad idea. 406 00:14:13,696 --> 00:14:15,296 No, it's okay. Dad's got this. 407 00:14:15,297 --> 00:14:16,664 He's a real sweet talker. 408 00:14:16,699 --> 00:14:18,332 Let's cut the crap. 409 00:14:18,333 --> 00:14:20,668 Okay. What are your intentions with my mother? 410 00:14:20,703 --> 00:14:23,538 To make love to her every morning until we die. 411 00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:25,606 So it's just physical? 412 00:14:25,607 --> 00:14:26,941 What are you nuts? 413 00:14:26,975 --> 00:14:28,576 I'm a divorced, retired florist 414 00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:29,877 with a terrible gluten allergy. 415 00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:33,881 Your mom is a beautiful, brilliant travel agent. 416 00:14:33,882 --> 00:14:35,450 She talks to people on the phone 417 00:14:35,451 --> 00:14:37,085 who've seen the whole world. 418 00:14:37,119 --> 00:14:39,253 I'll never meet anyone half as good as her. 419 00:14:39,288 --> 00:14:41,222 She's the best thing that ever happened to me. 420 00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:44,592 You mean other than Charles? 421 00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:45,860 No. 422 00:14:45,861 --> 00:14:47,829 She's the best thing that ever happened to me. 423 00:14:47,863 --> 00:14:50,131 That's okay, Pop. 424 00:14:50,132 --> 00:14:51,733 You did what you had to do. 425 00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:52,967 I love her. 426 00:14:52,968 --> 00:14:56,070 All I want is to make her happy forever. 427 00:14:56,071 --> 00:14:58,206 Fine. I give you my blessing. 428 00:14:58,207 --> 00:15:00,708 But if you hurt my mom in any way, 429 00:15:00,709 --> 00:15:02,710 so help me God, I will cut off 430 00:15:02,711 --> 00:15:04,012 your son's testicles. 431 00:15:04,013 --> 00:15:06,180 Snip, snip, snip. And I'm not playing. 432 00:15:06,215 --> 00:15:08,316 Deal. 433 00:15:09,318 --> 00:15:10,852 Way to go, Dad! 434 00:15:10,853 --> 00:15:12,120 You bagged a babe. 435 00:15:12,121 --> 00:15:14,188 The Boyle boys are planning a wedding! 436 00:15:14,223 --> 00:15:15,990 Boyle boys! Boyle boys! 437 00:15:16,025 --> 00:15:18,326 Both: Boyle boys! Boyle boys! 438 00:15:18,327 --> 00:15:20,628 Both: 439 00:15:20,663 --> 00:15:22,363 You screwed this up, buddy. 440 00:15:22,364 --> 00:15:24,198 You thinks she's gonna still love you after this? 441 00:15:24,233 --> 00:15:25,433 She'll see who you are now. 442 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:27,502 Hey, you don't know anything about me and Sophia. 443 00:15:27,536 --> 00:15:29,070 What? I'm talking to myself 444 00:15:29,071 --> 00:15:30,338 about my wife. 445 00:15:30,339 --> 00:15:31,706 She is not gonna like this. 446 00:15:31,707 --> 00:15:33,574 Who cares about you and your gross life? 447 00:15:33,575 --> 00:15:35,610 Jake, heads up. 448 00:15:35,611 --> 00:15:38,146 Oh, hey, Sophia. Thank God you're here. 449 00:15:38,147 --> 00:15:39,747 I was just gonna find you so we could talk. 450 00:15:39,748 --> 00:15:41,115 Jake, I'm not here to talk to you. 451 00:15:41,150 --> 00:15:42,216 I'm here as Geoffrey's attorney. 452 00:15:42,217 --> 00:15:43,718 Oh, I can do it myself. Watch this. 453 00:15:43,719 --> 00:15:46,085 Objection, objection, objection, objection, objection! 454 00:15:46,088 --> 00:15:47,555 Five! Five objections. 455 00:15:47,589 --> 00:15:50,692 Maybe this "cocaine" isn't so bad after all. 456 00:15:50,693 --> 00:15:52,026 Okay. Geoffrey, I'm gonna have to 457 00:15:52,027 --> 00:15:53,661 advise you to stop talking/confessing 458 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:54,796 in front of the detectives. 459 00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:56,197 Okay, look, I know that you're mad, 460 00:15:56,198 --> 00:15:58,766 but I talked to the D.A. and he agreed to drop the charges. 461 00:15:58,767 --> 00:16:00,969 Geoffrey just had to do a little bit of community service, 462 00:16:00,970 --> 00:16:02,503 and nothing will even go on his record. 463 00:16:02,538 --> 00:16:03,805 Not good enough. You have no evidence. 464 00:16:03,806 --> 00:16:06,341 Sophia, there's cocaine on his collar right now. 465 00:16:06,342 --> 00:16:07,809 Oh, not anymore. 466 00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:09,310 Whoo! 467 00:16:09,345 --> 00:16:11,212 You're really not reading the vibe right at all. 468 00:16:11,246 --> 00:16:12,447 Tell you what, that's the cocaine. 469 00:16:12,448 --> 00:16:14,015 I'm usually very tuned in. 470 00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:15,516 Shh. I had to arrest him. 471 00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:17,051 I had no choice. Really? 472 00:16:17,086 --> 00:16:18,586 'Cause I could think of 50 other ways 473 00:16:18,587 --> 00:16:19,821 you could've handled this scenario. 474 00:16:19,855 --> 00:16:21,556 Oh my God, you are such a lawyer. 475 00:16:21,590 --> 00:16:22,924 You are such a cop. 476 00:16:22,925 --> 00:16:24,692 I tell you I need some space to figure things out 477 00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:26,060 and you come kicking down the door 478 00:16:26,061 --> 00:16:27,862 with the first plan that pops into your head. 479 00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:29,297 How is it my fault that your jerk boss 480 00:16:29,298 --> 00:16:31,165 put his jerk nose into a pile of jerk cocaine? 481 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,467 You followed him into a bathroom 482 00:16:32,501 --> 00:16:34,502 at a party you weren't even invited to. 483 00:16:34,503 --> 00:16:36,571 Hey, you know what? We're done. 484 00:16:36,572 --> 00:16:38,106 All right, fine. I'll talk to the D.A. 485 00:16:38,107 --> 00:16:39,874 I'll see if I can cut the community service in half, 486 00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:41,976 how's that? No, Jake. Not with the case. 487 00:16:41,977 --> 00:16:44,279 You and I are done. 488 00:16:48,764 --> 00:16:49,931 Jake, what are you doing? 489 00:16:49,932 --> 00:16:50,966 I wanted to stop you. 490 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,768 Grand gesture. I took the stairs. 491 00:16:53,769 --> 00:16:55,103 A little winded there, buddy? Yeah. 492 00:16:55,137 --> 00:16:57,038 Romance is hard! 493 00:16:57,039 --> 00:16:58,506 Can you just talk for, like, 20 minutes 494 00:16:58,507 --> 00:16:59,574 while I catch my breath? 495 00:16:59,608 --> 00:17:00,842 I don't have anything to say. 496 00:17:00,876 --> 00:17:01,910 Oh come on. 497 00:17:01,911 --> 00:17:03,478 This is just a stupid fight about nothing. 498 00:17:03,479 --> 00:17:05,413 I'm not gonna let us break up over this. 499 00:17:05,414 --> 00:17:06,615 Jake, our jobs are incompatible. 500 00:17:06,616 --> 00:17:08,083 Our lives are incompatible. 501 00:17:08,084 --> 00:17:09,618 Look, we'll just never talk about work, 502 00:17:09,619 --> 00:17:11,086 or interact with each other's friends, 503 00:17:11,087 --> 00:17:12,354 or acknowledge each other in public, 504 00:17:12,355 --> 00:17:13,888 and I know this sounds like I'm describing enemies, 505 00:17:13,889 --> 00:17:15,223 but we can make this work. 506 00:17:15,224 --> 00:17:16,324 We're Romeo and Juliet. 507 00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:18,126 It didn't work for Romeo and Juliet. 508 00:17:18,127 --> 00:17:20,428 That play ends in a tragic double suicide. 509 00:17:20,463 --> 00:17:21,596 That's how it ends? 510 00:17:21,597 --> 00:17:22,731 Why do people like it so much? 511 00:17:22,732 --> 00:17:25,000 All right, look. Jake, you're fun, okay? 512 00:17:25,001 --> 00:17:26,334 And we've only been dating for three months. 513 00:17:26,335 --> 00:17:28,203 It's just not that serious. 514 00:17:28,204 --> 00:17:29,804 Well, it's kinda serious to me. 515 00:17:29,805 --> 00:17:31,172 I've accidentally said, "I love you," like, 516 00:17:31,173 --> 00:17:32,140 four times already. 517 00:17:32,174 --> 00:17:33,541 I know. I- 518 00:17:33,542 --> 00:17:35,510 I just don't think I accidentally love you back. 519 00:17:35,544 --> 00:17:39,281 Look, it's just... it's just so much work. 520 00:17:39,315 --> 00:17:41,283 That's work I'm willing to do. 521 00:17:41,317 --> 00:17:43,985 I'm not. 522 00:17:44,020 --> 00:17:45,654 I'm sorry. 523 00:17:51,427 --> 00:17:53,428 Double suicide? 524 00:17:55,164 --> 00:17:56,464 Hello, Madeline. 525 00:17:56,465 --> 00:17:58,867 Raymond. I was just about to call you. 526 00:17:58,868 --> 00:18:00,535 I wanted to thank you for your kind recommendation. 527 00:18:00,570 --> 00:18:03,138 And I wanted to give you this. 528 00:18:03,172 --> 00:18:05,674 Wicked. 529 00:18:05,675 --> 00:18:07,642 Starring Beth Danube. 530 00:18:07,643 --> 00:18:09,511 Well played, Raymond. 531 00:18:09,545 --> 00:18:11,479 Sadly, I won't be able to use them. 532 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,548 Since I'm not going to Boston. What? 533 00:18:13,549 --> 00:18:16,184 I was only interested in the Boston offer as leverage. 534 00:18:16,185 --> 00:18:18,653 I used it to get a promotion from the NYPD. 535 00:18:18,654 --> 00:18:20,822 I have never had more power over you 536 00:18:20,823 --> 00:18:22,490 than I do at this very moment. 537 00:18:22,491 --> 00:18:25,627 I wanted to give you these as a thank you. 538 00:18:25,628 --> 00:18:28,163 You're joking. 539 00:18:28,164 --> 00:18:29,164 I'm gonna call the commissioner. 540 00:18:29,165 --> 00:18:31,900 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 541 00:18:31,934 --> 00:18:33,235 I know you never would have recommended me 542 00:18:33,236 --> 00:18:35,170 for that Boston post if deep down 543 00:18:35,171 --> 00:18:37,639 you didn't think I deserved the job. 544 00:18:45,348 --> 00:18:47,682 What the... 545 00:18:47,717 --> 00:18:49,718 A thank you round of drinks 546 00:18:49,719 --> 00:18:52,454 and a toast to Amy. Oh. 547 00:18:52,455 --> 00:18:54,289 Your conflict resolution skills 548 00:18:54,290 --> 00:18:56,424 has made my childhood dreams come true. 549 00:18:56,425 --> 00:18:57,626 I'm gonna be a ring bearer. 550 00:18:57,627 --> 00:18:59,261 You don't think your dad will make you best man? 551 00:18:59,295 --> 00:19:02,063 Oh, I just assumed he'd ask Jake. 552 00:19:02,064 --> 00:19:05,567 Mm. Move over, please. I do have a wedding to plan. 553 00:19:05,568 --> 00:19:06,935 'Cause if this thing is happening, 554 00:19:06,936 --> 00:19:08,870 it's not going to be a Boyle brothers event. 555 00:19:08,905 --> 00:19:10,772 For starters, all the bridesmaids 556 00:19:10,773 --> 00:19:12,073 are gonna be dressed like Roseanne 557 00:19:12,074 --> 00:19:13,708 from the television show, Roseanne. 558 00:19:13,709 --> 00:19:14,776 Oh, I like that show. 559 00:19:14,777 --> 00:19:16,912 A certified shaman will conduct the ceremony, 560 00:19:16,913 --> 00:19:20,549 and the ring bearer will be an actual wolf. 561 00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:22,851 Oh man, I could do it, but I wouldn't be as majestic 562 00:19:22,852 --> 00:19:24,019 on all fours. 563 00:19:24,020 --> 00:19:25,387 This wedding sounds weird. I'm into it. 564 00:19:25,388 --> 00:19:27,088 To Lynn and Darlene Boyle. 565 00:19:27,123 --> 00:19:28,690 Cheers. 566 00:19:28,691 --> 00:19:30,559 Yuck. 567 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,827 My lady left me. 568 00:19:32,828 --> 00:19:34,596 My lady stayed. 569 00:19:34,597 --> 00:19:35,797 Come on, sir. 570 00:19:35,798 --> 00:19:37,065 Focus on the good. 571 00:19:37,066 --> 00:19:38,667 You can hold your head up: 572 00:19:38,668 --> 00:19:40,502 you took the high road with Wuntch. 573 00:19:40,536 --> 00:19:41,870 Not entirely. 574 00:19:41,871 --> 00:19:44,473 When I was alone in her office, I changed her auto-correct. 575 00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:48,109 Now when she types "Wuntch," it gets replaced with "Butt." 576 00:19:48,144 --> 00:19:51,112 Ah, I should not have gone to that party. 577 00:19:51,113 --> 00:19:52,347 I shouldn't have gone to that bathroom. 578 00:19:52,348 --> 00:19:53,915 I should not have arrested her boss. 579 00:19:53,916 --> 00:19:55,317 I don't see it that way. 580 00:19:55,318 --> 00:19:57,586 You did everything right. You were a good cop. 581 00:19:57,587 --> 00:19:59,054 Good lonely cop. 582 00:19:59,055 --> 00:20:01,022 Hey, man, you put yourself out there. 583 00:20:01,023 --> 00:20:02,157 You weren't breezy. 584 00:20:02,158 --> 00:20:04,860 You like Sophia, you fought for her. 585 00:20:04,861 --> 00:20:06,027 You should be proud. 586 00:20:06,028 --> 00:20:07,929 No, you should be changing her auto-correct. 587 00:20:07,930 --> 00:20:09,064 What's her last name? 588 00:20:09,065 --> 00:20:10,432 Perez. No. 589 00:20:10,433 --> 00:20:11,533 It's "Butt" now. 590 00:20:11,534 --> 00:20:13,502 Sophia Butt. 591 00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:15,537 That's feels good, doesn't it? 592 00:20:15,538 --> 00:20:16,638 Not really. 593 00:20:16,639 --> 00:20:18,673 Okay. 594 00:20:18,674 --> 00:20:19,841 Then let's get soused. 595 00:20:19,842 --> 00:20:21,543 Ah, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 596 00:20:21,544 --> 00:20:23,745 Mine. Mine. 597 00:20:25,781 --> 00:20:27,749 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/