1
00:00:05,217 --> 00:00:06,984
The muggings were
confined to Cabot Street.
2
00:00:06,985 --> 00:00:08,219
They began over
two months ago...
3
00:00:08,220 --> 00:00:09,520
Just like this briefing did.
4
00:00:09,521 --> 00:00:11,222
Please go to charisma class.
5
00:00:11,223 --> 00:00:12,790
I'm here. I'm here.
Sorry, Charles.
6
00:00:12,791 --> 00:00:14,058
No, Jake.
7
00:00:14,059 --> 00:00:16,193
Never apologize for
making an amazing entrance.
8
00:00:16,194 --> 00:00:17,328
My power went out last night,
9
00:00:17,329 --> 00:00:18,462
and my alarm didn't go off.
10
00:00:18,463 --> 00:00:20,564
Your alarm is power-dependent?
11
00:00:20,565 --> 00:00:22,099
You brought this
on yourself, son.
12
00:00:22,100 --> 00:00:23,968
The point is,
it will not happen again.
13
00:00:23,969 --> 00:00:25,736
Carry on.
14
00:00:25,737 --> 00:00:26,737
Sorry I'm late, Sarge.
15
00:00:26,738 --> 00:00:27,771
No hot water this morning.
16
00:00:27,806 --> 00:00:30,508
But I'm here, ready to go.
17
00:00:30,509 --> 00:00:32,208
Will cause no
further distractions.
18
00:00:33,245 --> 00:00:34,879
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.
- Seriously?
19
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,314
What is your excuse today?
20
00:00:36,315 --> 00:00:37,315
More bad luck.
21
00:00:37,316 --> 00:00:38,516
My car ran out of gas,
22
00:00:38,517 --> 00:00:40,651
and then my clothes
disappeared from the Laundromat.
23
00:00:40,652 --> 00:00:42,687
I had to beg one of my neighbors
to loan me some of his.
24
00:00:42,688 --> 00:00:44,588
You never told us Sinbad
lives in your building.
25
00:00:44,589 --> 00:00:45,790
If Sinbad lived in my building,
26
00:00:45,791 --> 00:00:46,957
I would have a tattoo
on my forehead
27
00:00:46,958 --> 00:00:48,558
that said "Sinbad
lives in my building."
28
00:00:49,594 --> 00:00:51,495
I'm here, I'm here, I'm here,
29
00:00:51,496 --> 00:00:53,297
and I'm a half an hour early.
30
00:00:53,298 --> 00:00:56,434
That's right, my string of bad
luck has finally come to an end.
31
00:00:56,435 --> 00:00:58,135
Peralta, you failed
your drug test.
32
00:00:58,136 --> 00:01:00,304
There were traces
of cocaine and methamphetamines
33
00:01:00,305 --> 00:01:02,115
- found in your urine.
- What?
34
00:01:02,116 --> 00:01:05,812
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
35
00:01:05,813 --> 00:01:13,316
♪ ♪
36
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:24,295
Captain, this is insane.
37
00:01:24,296 --> 00:01:25,496
I don't do drugs.
38
00:01:25,497 --> 00:01:27,198
I mean, sure, a couple
of my teeth are loose,
39
00:01:27,199 --> 00:01:29,300
but that's from dental neglect,
not meth.
40
00:01:29,301 --> 00:01:30,701
Yeah, those tests
are unreliable.
41
00:01:30,702 --> 00:01:32,503
Okay, let's not blame "tests."
42
00:01:32,504 --> 00:01:33,571
I believe in you, Jake,
43
00:01:33,572 --> 00:01:35,373
but come on,
he's going after tests.
44
00:01:35,374 --> 00:01:36,374
Sir, listen:
45
00:01:36,375 --> 00:01:38,142
the missing laundry,
the hot water,
46
00:01:38,143 --> 00:01:39,142
the power, the gas,
47
00:01:39,177 --> 00:01:40,211
now this?
48
00:01:40,212 --> 00:01:41,879
This is not bad luck,
it's a pattern.
49
00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,481
Someone's trying to sabotage me.
50
00:01:43,482 --> 00:01:44,614
And who would want to do that?
51
00:01:44,649 --> 00:01:45,750
Probably someone I put away.
52
00:01:45,751 --> 00:01:46,817
It's the only explanation.
53
00:01:46,818 --> 00:01:48,152
Or you didn't pay your bills
54
00:01:48,153 --> 00:01:49,720
and you only put a quarter
gallon of gas in your tank
55
00:01:49,721 --> 00:01:51,555
'cause you wanted to spend the
rest on mini-mart beef jerky.
56
00:01:51,556 --> 00:01:53,057
Wrong, I buy my jerky online
57
00:01:53,058 --> 00:01:54,592
from the world's
top jerkmasters,
58
00:01:54,593 --> 00:01:56,727
so it looks like you need
to update your jerk Rolodex,
59
00:01:56,728 --> 00:01:58,396
which is not as dirty
as it sounds.
60
00:01:58,397 --> 00:02:00,998
Anyway, I can prove that I
filled up my tank, all right?
61
00:02:00,999 --> 00:02:02,166
I even have a receipt,
62
00:02:02,167 --> 00:02:05,102
because I keep all my receipts
63
00:02:05,103 --> 00:02:06,837
like a mature adult person.
64
00:02:06,838 --> 00:02:08,239
Laser tag,
65
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:09,740
wheelie shoes,
66
00:02:09,741 --> 00:02:11,942
remote control monster truck,
67
00:02:11,943 --> 00:02:12,943
aha!
68
00:02:12,944 --> 00:02:13,944
Gas station.
69
00:02:13,945 --> 00:02:14,944
Someone drained my tank.
70
00:02:14,980 --> 00:02:16,347
Okay, I know you don't do drugs,
71
00:02:16,348 --> 00:02:18,349
so maybe there is something
to what you're saying.
72
00:02:18,350 --> 00:02:20,551
I'll talk to One Police Plaza
and arrange an appeal.
73
00:02:20,552 --> 00:02:23,319
I'll also put someone
on this sabotage theory.
74
00:02:23,355 --> 00:02:24,455
I got it.
75
00:02:24,456 --> 00:02:25,856
Jake, when I find
whoever did this to you,
76
00:02:25,857 --> 00:02:27,925
I'm gonna rip out their eyeballs
and fill their sockets...
77
00:02:27,926 --> 00:02:29,393
I think you might be
too close to this.
78
00:02:29,394 --> 00:02:30,394
Copy that.
79
00:02:30,395 --> 00:02:32,095
Santiago, Diaz: look into it.
80
00:02:32,130 --> 00:02:33,397
Noice.
81
00:02:33,398 --> 00:02:34,865
In the meantime, Peralta,
you're suspended.
82
00:02:34,866 --> 00:02:36,299
I'm gonna need you to hand in
your badge and gun.
83
00:02:36,334 --> 00:02:37,802
All right, fine,
you can have my badge and gun,
84
00:02:37,803 --> 00:02:39,036
but we're doing it
in your office
85
00:02:39,037 --> 00:02:40,371
so I can slam them
down on your desk
86
00:02:40,372 --> 00:02:41,739
and yell out,
"The system stinks!"
87
00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:43,607
Actually, the procedure is
to bring your gun and badge
88
00:02:43,608 --> 00:02:45,209
down to the equipment room
on the second floor,
89
00:02:45,210 --> 00:02:47,578
fill out form 452-underscore-J,
90
00:02:47,579 --> 00:02:49,613
hand said form in
to the inventory clerk,
91
00:02:49,614 --> 00:02:52,216
and then receive a claim check
through interoffice mail.
92
00:02:52,217 --> 00:02:53,984
The system stinks!
93
00:02:53,985 --> 00:02:55,286
Hey, Boyle,
94
00:02:55,287 --> 00:02:56,921
any progress with
that extortion case
95
00:02:56,922 --> 00:02:58,289
you and Jake
have been working on?
96
00:02:58,290 --> 00:03:00,724
No, I've just been
going over his notes.
97
00:03:00,725 --> 00:03:03,394
Look how cool and illegible
his handwriting is.
98
00:03:03,395 --> 00:03:05,196
Oh, I wish I could be that free.
99
00:03:05,197 --> 00:03:06,997
But you know me,
ever the calligrapher.
100
00:03:06,998 --> 00:03:10,634
Yeah, well, I thought you might
need a little more manpower.
101
00:03:10,635 --> 00:03:11,635
Okay.
102
00:03:11,636 --> 00:03:13,337
So I'm assigning you
a new partner.
103
00:03:13,338 --> 00:03:15,873
Actually, partners.
104
00:03:15,874 --> 00:03:18,108
Yep, there's definitely
something in there.
105
00:03:18,109 --> 00:03:19,142
Looks like a peanut.
106
00:03:19,177 --> 00:03:20,878
Bet it's a cashew.
107
00:03:20,879 --> 00:03:21,879
You're on.
108
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,714
No, Sarge, come on!
109
00:03:23,715 --> 00:03:24,849
They're terrible.
110
00:03:24,850 --> 00:03:26,450
Stop exaggerating, Boyle.
111
00:03:26,451 --> 00:03:28,385
They're good detectives.
112
00:03:28,386 --> 00:03:29,386
They're fine.
113
00:03:29,387 --> 00:03:30,387
Oh, no.
114
00:03:30,388 --> 00:03:31,454
I pushed it in deeper.
115
00:03:32,991 --> 00:03:34,225
They're all we got.
116
00:03:34,226 --> 00:03:35,993
Sir,
117
00:03:35,994 --> 00:03:38,529
Gina's dance concert
was last night.
118
00:03:38,530 --> 00:03:40,231
Right.
119
00:03:40,232 --> 00:03:42,299
The Dancy Reagan performance.
120
00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:44,335
I've been so preoccupied
with Peralta's drug test,
121
00:03:44,336 --> 00:03:45,469
it totally slipped my mind.
122
00:03:45,470 --> 00:03:46,670
Me too.
123
00:03:46,671 --> 00:03:48,172
But don't worry.
124
00:03:48,173 --> 00:03:49,306
I told her we were there.
125
00:03:49,307 --> 00:03:51,709
Was your favorite move
"The Gull"?
126
00:03:51,710 --> 00:03:53,444
Or was it "Space Bubbles"?
127
00:03:53,445 --> 00:03:55,246
Oh, I loved them both!
128
00:03:55,247 --> 00:03:57,381
I'm a bubble man
129
00:03:57,382 --> 00:03:58,615
and a gull man!
130
00:04:00,185 --> 00:04:01,185
You lied to her?
131
00:04:01,186 --> 00:04:02,186
Like a pro.
132
00:04:02,187 --> 00:04:03,487
I couldn't hurt her feelings.
133
00:04:03,488 --> 00:04:05,155
She really wanted
us to be there.
134
00:04:05,156 --> 00:04:08,025
Well, I wish you hadn't
involved me in your deception.
135
00:04:08,026 --> 00:04:11,295
I maintain a strict
code of integrity.
136
00:04:11,296 --> 00:04:12,663
Come on, Captain.
137
00:04:12,664 --> 00:04:15,031
You never told a white lie
to make a person feel better?
138
00:04:15,066 --> 00:04:18,502
I only lie when someone's
safety is at risk.
139
00:04:18,503 --> 00:04:20,471
Or if a juvenile aged
eight years or younger
140
00:04:20,472 --> 00:04:21,972
asks about Santa Claus.
141
00:04:21,973 --> 00:04:22,972
In which case...
142
00:04:23,008 --> 00:04:24,842
I feed them some reassuring pap
143
00:04:24,843 --> 00:04:27,611
about the logical impossibility
of proving a negative.
144
00:04:27,612 --> 00:04:29,446
It's sentimental drivel,
145
00:04:29,447 --> 00:04:31,081
but they eat it up.
146
00:04:31,082 --> 00:04:33,284
So...
147
00:04:33,285 --> 00:04:36,387
does this mean you're
gonna blow up my spot
148
00:04:36,388 --> 00:04:37,755
and tell Gina the truth?
149
00:04:37,756 --> 00:04:39,690
If she asks me, then yes,
150
00:04:39,691 --> 00:04:43,693
I suppose I will have to
blow your spot right up.
151
00:04:45,141 --> 00:04:46,897
Okay, this is
everyone I could think of
152
00:04:46,898 --> 00:04:48,165
who would want to
mess with my life.
153
00:04:48,166 --> 00:04:49,567
Perps,
people I've testified against,
154
00:04:49,568 --> 00:04:50,768
the old guy
who lived underneath me
155
00:04:50,769 --> 00:04:52,336
when I was learning
the Gangnam Style dance.
156
00:04:52,337 --> 00:04:53,871
Wow, you've pissed off
a lot of people.
157
00:04:53,872 --> 00:04:56,306
Well, that's what happens
when you live out loud, Rosa.
158
00:04:56,341 --> 00:04:58,709
We need to look into
the power outage and hot water.
159
00:04:58,710 --> 00:05:00,144
Do you have proof
you pay your bills?
160
00:05:00,145 --> 00:05:01,245
Are you serious?
161
00:05:01,246 --> 00:05:03,147
Guys, this is not my fault.
162
00:05:03,148 --> 00:05:04,915
My reputation is being sabotaged
163
00:05:04,916 --> 00:05:06,183
by some guy.
164
00:05:06,184 --> 00:05:07,184
Or girl, you know.
165
00:05:07,185 --> 00:05:08,586
Monsters can be women too.
166
00:05:08,587 --> 00:05:10,087
Super progressive
attitude, Jake.
167
00:05:10,088 --> 00:05:11,455
Look, we are on your side.
168
00:05:11,456 --> 00:05:13,157
It's just, you're not
the most responsible person.
169
00:05:13,158 --> 00:05:14,224
We have to do our job.
170
00:05:14,225 --> 00:05:15,993
All right, fine.
You can see my bank records.
171
00:05:15,994 --> 00:05:17,695
But I always pay my power bill.
172
00:05:17,696 --> 00:05:18,996
Often late.
173
00:05:18,997 --> 00:05:21,298
One time in person
with Canadian pennies.
174
00:05:21,299 --> 00:05:22,933
Oh, my God, talking
about your finances
175
00:05:22,934 --> 00:05:24,267
makes me sweat behind the knees.
176
00:05:24,302 --> 00:05:25,302
Nice.
177
00:05:25,303 --> 00:05:26,302
Hey, speaking of funky smells,
178
00:05:26,338 --> 00:05:27,605
should we start this
investigation
179
00:05:27,606 --> 00:05:28,872
at the urinalysis lab?
180
00:05:28,873 --> 00:05:31,208
Hmm? Take a trip
to the old pee factory?
181
00:05:31,209 --> 00:05:32,409
Jake, you're suspended.
182
00:05:32,410 --> 00:05:34,244
Just go home, have a beer,
and smash something.
183
00:05:34,245 --> 00:05:35,379
That's what I'd do.
184
00:05:35,380 --> 00:05:36,847
Or take advantage
of this amazing city.
185
00:05:36,848 --> 00:05:38,015
Go sightseeing.
186
00:05:38,016 --> 00:05:39,450
MoMA has an exhibit
I'm dying to see.
187
00:05:39,451 --> 00:05:40,951
It's all about
office chair design.
188
00:05:40,952 --> 00:05:42,453
Oh!
189
00:05:42,454 --> 00:05:44,622
Look, I know technically
I'm not supposed to help out,
190
00:05:44,623 --> 00:05:46,322
but rules are made to be broken.
191
00:05:46,358 --> 00:05:47,524
They were made to be followed.
192
00:05:47,525 --> 00:05:48,626
Nothing is made to be broken.
193
00:05:48,627 --> 00:05:49,627
Uh, piñatas.
194
00:05:49,628 --> 00:05:51,027
- Glow sticks.
- Karate boards.
195
00:05:51,062 --> 00:05:52,496
Spaghetti when you
have a small pot.
196
00:05:52,497 --> 00:05:53,597
Rules.
197
00:05:53,598 --> 00:05:55,032
Look, someone's messing
with my life here.
198
00:05:55,033 --> 00:05:56,066
I thought you guys had my back.
199
00:05:56,067 --> 00:05:57,334
We do.
200
00:05:57,335 --> 00:05:58,969
But seriously,
you can't come with us.
201
00:05:58,970 --> 00:06:00,304
Okay.
202
00:06:00,305 --> 00:06:02,072
Fine.
I get it.
203
00:06:02,073 --> 00:06:03,941
Protocol's protocol.
204
00:06:03,942 --> 00:06:06,110
I'm gonna go check out
that office chair design exhibit
205
00:06:06,111 --> 00:06:07,110
at the MoMA.
206
00:06:09,459 --> 00:06:11,009
Rosa? Amy?
207
00:06:11,027 --> 00:06:12,461
What are you guys doing here?
208
00:06:12,462 --> 00:06:13,929
Our non-suspended jobs.
209
00:06:13,930 --> 00:06:15,598
You're not supposed
to be investigating.
210
00:06:15,599 --> 00:06:16,932
I'm not, I'm sightseeing,
211
00:06:16,933 --> 00:06:18,367
just as Amy suggested.
212
00:06:18,368 --> 00:06:19,767
At Brooklyn Urine and Blood?
213
00:06:19,803 --> 00:06:21,170
Oh, yeah, the internet says
214
00:06:21,171 --> 00:06:22,705
this is the number-one
urinalysis lab
215
00:06:22,706 --> 00:06:23,806
in all of New York.
216
00:06:23,807 --> 00:06:25,174
Fun tourist selfie!
217
00:06:25,175 --> 00:06:27,009
Boink!
Not your best.
218
00:06:27,010 --> 00:06:29,345
Anyways, I'm gonna take
a "walking tour" in here
219
00:06:29,346 --> 00:06:31,013
while you guys ask
a couple of questions,
220
00:06:31,014 --> 00:06:32,715
and also, I've been
waiting for 20 minutes.
221
00:06:32,716 --> 00:06:33,916
Where have you been?
222
00:06:33,917 --> 00:06:35,284
We had to find the addresses
of all 78 people
223
00:06:35,285 --> 00:06:36,284
you said might want to hurt you.
224
00:06:36,319 --> 00:06:37,486
Uh-huh.
225
00:06:37,487 --> 00:06:39,329
And was there another
stop along the way?
226
00:06:39,356 --> 00:06:40,356
We got coffee.
227
00:06:40,357 --> 00:06:41,657
Those are cappuccinos.
228
00:06:41,658 --> 00:06:43,359
You know how long it takes
to foam that milk?
229
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,860
Time you could have
spent on my case,
230
00:06:44,861 --> 00:06:47,170
but I guess it's just froth
over friends with you two.
231
00:06:47,197 --> 00:06:48,797
Anyways, let's do this.
232
00:06:48,798 --> 00:06:49,899
Jake...
233
00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:51,400
I can't believe
I'm about to say this.
234
00:06:51,401 --> 00:06:54,069
I really wish you could come
look at urine with us,
235
00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:55,237
but you can't.
236
00:06:55,238 --> 00:06:56,805
You're suspended.
Go home.
237
00:06:56,806 --> 00:06:57,806
All right, fine.
238
00:06:57,807 --> 00:06:58,908
If you guys won't help me,
239
00:06:58,909 --> 00:07:01,410
I guess I'll just
get myself off.
240
00:07:01,411 --> 00:07:02,444
Context.
241
00:07:02,445 --> 00:07:03,811
Context was
important on that one.
242
00:07:03,847 --> 00:07:04,847
I get Greek yogurt,
243
00:07:04,848 --> 00:07:06,081
'cause there's heritage there,
244
00:07:06,082 --> 00:07:07,483
but Iceland?
245
00:07:07,484 --> 00:07:10,319
No, no, no, no, no!
246
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,954
Hey, Gina!
247
00:07:11,955 --> 00:07:14,123
What are you guys talking about?
Yogurt? Me too.
248
00:07:14,124 --> 00:07:15,357
Let's keep talking about that.
249
00:07:15,358 --> 00:07:16,458
Whoo!
250
00:07:16,459 --> 00:07:17,560
Terry's out of breath.
251
00:07:17,561 --> 00:07:19,911
Cool. I was just
dropping off some files.
252
00:07:19,930 --> 00:07:21,497
Great, let's just
go out to your desk
253
00:07:21,498 --> 00:07:23,298
and let's talk
about how that went.
254
00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:24,700
Okay, Terry.
255
00:07:24,701 --> 00:07:26,335
But first, I want
to ask the captain
256
00:07:26,336 --> 00:07:28,537
for his impresh of my show.
257
00:07:28,538 --> 00:07:31,589
Got any feed-b, or was it just
love, love, love?
258
00:07:31,608 --> 00:07:33,242
Well, actually...
259
00:07:33,243 --> 00:07:35,110
I thought it was amazing!
260
00:07:35,111 --> 00:07:37,746
You were like a swan
who went to Juilliard.
261
00:07:37,747 --> 00:07:39,949
It was so good.
262
00:07:39,950 --> 00:07:42,518
Terry, I have already
received your praise.
263
00:07:42,519 --> 00:07:44,894
I'm clearly fishing
in another pond right now.
264
00:07:44,921 --> 00:07:46,271
I'm putting an end to this.
265
00:07:46,289 --> 00:07:47,423
Sergeant Jeffords and I
266
00:07:47,424 --> 00:07:50,693
were unable to attend
your performance.
267
00:07:50,694 --> 00:07:52,394
Oh.
268
00:07:52,395 --> 00:07:54,495
But you were so spot on
with your compliments.
269
00:07:54,531 --> 00:07:56,364
Terry is a practiced liar.
270
00:07:56,399 --> 00:07:58,241
I'm sorry we missed the show.
271
00:07:58,268 --> 00:08:01,003
I know that dancing is
an important hobby to you.
272
00:08:01,004 --> 00:08:02,304
Hobby?
273
00:08:02,305 --> 00:08:03,746
You think my dancing is a hobby?
274
00:08:03,773 --> 00:08:04,873
Oh, yes.
275
00:08:04,874 --> 00:08:06,942
Like me and antique
globe collecting.
276
00:08:06,943 --> 00:08:10,012
It's thrilling, but nobody is
ever going to pay me for it.
277
00:08:10,013 --> 00:08:11,045
Ergo, a hobby.
278
00:08:11,081 --> 00:08:12,381
I get paid...
279
00:08:12,382 --> 00:08:14,083
in applause.
280
00:08:14,084 --> 00:08:15,842
But apparently not yours.
281
00:08:18,521 --> 00:08:21,306
I know that maintaining
integrity can be difficult,
282
00:08:21,324 --> 00:08:22,758
but in the long run,
283
00:08:22,759 --> 00:08:24,627
everyone is better for it.
284
00:08:27,497 --> 00:08:29,265
Attention everyone.
285
00:08:29,266 --> 00:08:32,901
The tragic sound you hear
is the shredding of my spandie.
286
00:08:32,902 --> 00:08:35,470
Gina Linetti
will never dance again.
287
00:08:38,208 --> 00:08:39,974
So those threatening phone calls
288
00:08:40,010 --> 00:08:41,844
were being made to Tim Orsk
289
00:08:41,845 --> 00:08:43,244
of Tim O's Limos.
290
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:44,546
That's interesting.
291
00:08:44,547 --> 00:08:47,048
This Orsk guy's name keeps
cropping up in this case.
292
00:08:47,083 --> 00:08:48,651
'Cause he's the victim.
293
00:08:48,652 --> 00:08:50,286
You know, he's
the guy whose window
294
00:08:50,287 --> 00:08:52,655
was smashed with this rock.
295
00:08:52,656 --> 00:08:53,656
Okay?
296
00:08:53,657 --> 00:08:55,340
He's being extorted for $10,000.
297
00:08:55,358 --> 00:08:57,634
Sure, but what do
they want from him?
298
00:08:57,661 --> 00:08:59,094
$10,000.
299
00:08:59,095 --> 00:09:00,629
I just said that.
300
00:09:00,630 --> 00:09:03,431
We're trying to figure out
who's doing the threatening.
301
00:09:03,466 --> 00:09:05,734
Wait.
I have a theory.
302
00:09:05,735 --> 00:09:08,237
I think "limousine"
and "magazine"
303
00:09:08,238 --> 00:09:09,570
come from the same word.
304
00:09:09,606 --> 00:09:10,973
Just focus!
305
00:09:10,974 --> 00:09:12,408
I'm sorry for snapping.
306
00:09:12,409 --> 00:09:13,408
I interviewed Orsk...
307
00:09:13,443 --> 00:09:14,810
Orsk!
There it is again.
308
00:09:14,811 --> 00:09:16,211
Oh, you're useless!
309
00:09:16,212 --> 00:09:17,613
You're completely useless!
310
00:09:17,614 --> 00:09:19,848
You are without a doubt
the most incompetent detectives
311
00:09:19,849 --> 00:09:21,250
I've ever seen.
312
00:09:21,251 --> 00:09:23,118
And I'm including
that bomb-sniffing dog
313
00:09:23,119 --> 00:09:24,410
who humps all the bombs!
314
00:09:26,489 --> 00:09:29,024
You know your turning
signal's been on for 30 seconds.
315
00:09:29,025 --> 00:09:30,958
I like to announce
my turning intention.
316
00:09:30,994 --> 00:09:32,502
This isn't the Indy 500.
317
00:09:32,529 --> 00:09:34,963
Well, when you finally change
lanes an hour from now,
318
00:09:34,964 --> 00:09:36,365
we should go talk
to Jake's super...
319
00:09:36,366 --> 00:09:37,565
see if there was a power outage.
320
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,934
What?
321
00:09:38,935 --> 00:09:40,069
Oh!
322
00:09:40,070 --> 00:09:41,386
Why would you do that?
323
00:09:41,404 --> 00:09:42,438
I just broke into your car
324
00:09:42,439 --> 00:09:43,972
and then
popped up without warning.
325
00:09:43,973 --> 00:09:45,056
Not cool.
326
00:09:45,075 --> 00:09:46,274
What the hell are you doing?
327
00:09:46,309 --> 00:09:48,210
I thought I was hitching
a ride to Rikers
328
00:09:48,211 --> 00:09:50,045
so we could interview
some convicts I put away,
329
00:09:50,046 --> 00:09:52,447
but apparently you're still
wasting time investigating me.
330
00:09:52,482 --> 00:09:55,317
Hey, it's your fault we have to
check up on your power outages.
331
00:09:55,318 --> 00:09:57,652
You have three mini-fridges
plugged in to the same outlet.
332
00:09:57,687 --> 00:09:59,904
Three mini-fridges are cheaper
than one regular one.
333
00:09:59,923 --> 00:10:01,256
We're just doing our jobs.
334
00:10:01,257 --> 00:10:02,257
Why don't you trust us?
335
00:10:02,258 --> 00:10:03,258
How can I?
336
00:10:03,259 --> 00:10:04,360
You didn't even know a man
337
00:10:04,361 --> 00:10:06,061
was lying
in the backseat of your car.
338
00:10:06,062 --> 00:10:07,863
And while you two
were busy lolly-gargling...
339
00:10:07,864 --> 00:10:09,431
I'm not familiar
with the expression...
340
00:10:09,432 --> 00:10:11,800
I was investigating.
I'll send you some selfies.
341
00:10:11,801 --> 00:10:13,202
Look, we're gonna
get to your list.
342
00:10:13,203 --> 00:10:14,970
We just have to rule out
other possibilities first.
343
00:10:14,971 --> 00:10:16,338
You know, there is a real chance
344
00:10:16,339 --> 00:10:17,839
that no one is after you.
345
00:10:17,874 --> 00:10:19,375
Yeah, but I'm telling you
that someone is.
346
00:10:19,376 --> 00:10:20,341
That should be enough.
347
00:10:20,377 --> 00:10:21,977
And we told you to trust us.
348
00:10:21,978 --> 00:10:23,010
That should be enough.
349
00:10:23,046 --> 00:10:24,313
All right, fine.
You don't want my help?
350
00:10:24,314 --> 00:10:25,279
You're not gonna get it.
351
00:10:25,315 --> 00:10:27,449
Dude...
352
00:10:27,450 --> 00:10:30,059
In fact, I'm deleting
your numbers from my phone.
353
00:10:30,086 --> 00:10:31,227
Just let us take you home.
354
00:10:31,254 --> 00:10:32,721
See you never.
355
00:10:32,722 --> 00:10:33,855
Fine.
356
00:10:38,128 --> 00:10:39,128
Where am I?
357
00:10:48,037 --> 00:10:49,937
Hello, Peralta.
358
00:10:51,465 --> 00:10:53,647
Geoffrey Hoytsman?
359
00:10:53,648 --> 00:10:55,248
You're the one
who's been sabotaging me?
360
00:10:55,249 --> 00:10:58,318
I'm just ruining your life
like you ruined mine.
361
00:10:58,319 --> 00:10:59,819
You never should
have arrested me.
362
00:10:59,854 --> 00:11:01,855
But I basically got
your cocaine charges dropped.
363
00:11:01,856 --> 00:11:04,023
You only had to do 40 hours
of community service.
364
00:11:04,058 --> 00:11:06,660
Right, but I wanted to
get them all done at once,
365
00:11:06,661 --> 00:11:09,696
so for energy, I did way too
much cocaine and meth.
366
00:11:09,697 --> 00:11:11,897
Went on a prolonged
psychotic episode
367
00:11:11,933 --> 00:11:13,967
involving assault,
public fornication,
368
00:11:13,968 --> 00:11:15,902
and, apparently,
the touching of my scrotum
369
00:11:15,903 --> 00:11:17,838
to every doorknob
in a synagogue.
370
00:11:17,839 --> 00:11:19,038
And you know what happened then?
371
00:11:19,073 --> 00:11:20,340
They thoroughly cleaned
the synagogue,
372
00:11:20,341 --> 00:11:21,541
you landed on your feet
373
00:11:21,542 --> 00:11:23,276
and pursued your true passion
of selling ice cream?
374
00:11:23,277 --> 00:11:24,478
None of that.
375
00:11:24,479 --> 00:11:27,247
I lost my job
and my wife and my home.
376
00:11:27,248 --> 00:11:28,749
An ex-client lent me this truck.
377
00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:29,983
He likes me
because I got him off
378
00:11:29,984 --> 00:11:31,183
on a strangle-and-mangle.
379
00:11:31,219 --> 00:11:32,752
You have a phrase for that?
380
00:11:32,787 --> 00:11:35,155
I used to, when I was
an awesome lawyer.
381
00:11:35,156 --> 00:11:37,456
Now I'm just another idiot
living in an ice cream truck.
382
00:11:37,492 --> 00:11:39,458
So that's why you put
drugs in my urine.
383
00:11:39,494 --> 00:11:41,428
Hey, that was my urine.
384
00:11:41,429 --> 00:11:43,062
Your urine is in there.
385
00:11:43,097 --> 00:11:44,530
Why would you keep my pee?
386
00:11:44,565 --> 00:11:46,233
I need belongings, Jake,
387
00:11:46,234 --> 00:11:47,334
to feel like a man.
388
00:11:47,335 --> 00:11:49,235
Look, this is a bad idea,
Hoytsman.
389
00:11:49,270 --> 00:11:51,437
People are gonna notice
if I disappear.
390
00:11:51,472 --> 00:11:53,440
See? Someone's already
looking for me.
391
00:11:53,441 --> 00:11:55,609
You're in big trouble, buddy.
392
00:11:55,610 --> 00:11:59,045
Your e-coupon for Big Mike's
Calzones expires today.
393
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:00,180
You're damn right.
394
00:12:00,181 --> 00:12:01,615
And if I don't redeem that,
395
00:12:01,616 --> 00:12:03,949
Big Mike is gonna get
real suspicious.
396
00:12:03,985 --> 00:12:05,519
Big Mike is a cartoon
397
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,454
with pizzas for eyes.
398
00:12:07,455 --> 00:12:08,821
All right, fine.
399
00:12:08,856 --> 00:12:10,956
Maybe not Big Mike,
but someone will.
400
00:12:10,992 --> 00:12:12,658
Shut up, Peralta!
401
00:12:12,694 --> 00:12:14,060
Oh, boy.
402
00:12:14,095 --> 00:12:16,029
Captain Holt,
403
00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:18,799
here's your CompStat report.
404
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,534
This is how I move now.
405
00:12:20,535 --> 00:12:22,335
Walking is too close to dancing,
406
00:12:22,336 --> 00:12:24,971
and there's no more dance in me.
407
00:12:24,972 --> 00:12:27,574
Plus I'm hoping my leg
muscles will atrophy
408
00:12:27,575 --> 00:12:29,809
so I won't be
tempted to use them.
409
00:12:35,483 --> 00:12:38,451
I bet you feel real good about
calling her dancing hobby, huh?
410
00:12:38,486 --> 00:12:40,953
Sarcasm...
the coward's lie.
411
00:12:40,988 --> 00:12:42,121
I don't get it.
412
00:12:42,156 --> 00:12:43,790
Gina's always
so sure of herself.
413
00:12:43,791 --> 00:12:44,991
She usually doesn't care at all
414
00:12:44,992 --> 00:12:46,358
what people say
or think about her.
415
00:12:46,394 --> 00:12:48,662
Maybe not with
most people, Captain.
416
00:12:48,663 --> 00:12:50,097
But she cares what you think.
417
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,735
Fine.
I regret what I said.
418
00:12:54,736 --> 00:12:57,169
But now, I don't know how
to make it right with her.
419
00:12:57,205 --> 00:12:58,572
Lie!
420
00:12:58,573 --> 00:13:00,574
Look, yesterday I told my twins
421
00:13:00,575 --> 00:13:02,375
there were baby bunnies
in their stomachs
422
00:13:02,376 --> 00:13:03,809
to get them to eat lettuce.
423
00:13:03,845 --> 00:13:05,112
And that worked?
424
00:13:05,113 --> 00:13:07,380
Yeah, but then they refused
to drink their milk
425
00:13:07,381 --> 00:13:09,249
because they thought
the bunnies would drown.
426
00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:11,985
So I bought a couple rabbits
and told the girls
427
00:13:11,986 --> 00:13:14,220
that they hopped out of
their mouths while they slept.
428
00:13:14,255 --> 00:13:15,454
I've lost track of your point.
429
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:16,590
They ate their lettuce,
430
00:13:16,591 --> 00:13:17,724
I'm stuck with two bunnies,
431
00:13:17,725 --> 00:13:19,291
and lying works!
432
00:13:26,234 --> 00:13:27,334
Pretty good gag, huh?
433
00:13:27,335 --> 00:13:29,002
A prostitute taught me
how to make it.
434
00:13:29,003 --> 00:13:30,504
Ugh.
Where were you?
435
00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:32,072
You were gone for three hours.
436
00:13:32,073 --> 00:13:34,907
I know because I sang "This Is
How We Do It" 143 times.
437
00:13:34,942 --> 00:13:37,577
Okay, well, I had to grab a few
things at the art supply store.
438
00:13:37,578 --> 00:13:39,646
Kidnapping is 90% crafting.
439
00:13:39,647 --> 00:13:42,115
Jake, you're gonna help me
get my life back.
440
00:13:42,116 --> 00:13:43,717
You're gonna confess, on video,
441
00:13:43,718 --> 00:13:45,919
to framing me for everything
that got me in trouble.
442
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,353
And why would I do that?
443
00:13:47,388 --> 00:13:48,722
Because I'm high on bath salts,
444
00:13:48,723 --> 00:13:49,756
emotionally unstable,
445
00:13:49,757 --> 00:13:51,056
and pointing a gun at you.
446
00:13:51,092 --> 00:13:52,491
Let's make a movie!
447
00:13:53,828 --> 00:13:54,995
Hey, Boyle,
448
00:13:54,996 --> 00:13:56,896
guess who caught
the Tim O's Limos perp.
449
00:13:56,931 --> 00:13:58,565
Jake?
450
00:13:58,566 --> 00:13:59,566
Is Jake back?
451
00:13:59,567 --> 00:14:00,567
No, we did.
452
00:14:00,568 --> 00:14:01,735
Scully and Hitchcock.
453
00:14:01,736 --> 00:14:03,670
Signed confession.
454
00:14:03,671 --> 00:14:04,671
You called us useless.
455
00:14:04,672 --> 00:14:06,206
You called us incompetent.
456
00:14:06,207 --> 00:14:07,706
You called us zeros in the sack.
457
00:14:07,742 --> 00:14:08,874
Never happened.
458
00:14:08,910 --> 00:14:11,077
Well, someone said it
to me last night.
459
00:14:11,078 --> 00:14:13,446
Oh, uh, must have been my wife.
460
00:14:13,447 --> 00:14:14,880
How did you solve the case?
461
00:14:14,916 --> 00:14:16,449
We listened to those
voicemails again
462
00:14:16,450 --> 00:14:18,485
and noticed the sound
of parrots in the background.
463
00:14:18,486 --> 00:14:20,287
Got a list of employees,
did door duty
464
00:14:20,288 --> 00:14:22,454
asking neighbors
if any of them kept pet birds.
465
00:14:22,490 --> 00:14:25,458
We finally found
one who did, and guess what.
466
00:14:25,459 --> 00:14:28,427
The landscaping in front of his
building was covered with these.
467
00:14:28,462 --> 00:14:31,131
Same type of rock that
was thrown through the window.
468
00:14:31,132 --> 00:14:32,232
I can't believe it.
469
00:14:32,233 --> 00:14:33,700
What, you don't think
it could break one?
470
00:14:33,701 --> 00:14:34,700
Watch.
471
00:14:36,804 --> 00:14:38,737
I meant I can't believe
you solved the case.
472
00:14:38,773 --> 00:14:40,172
Well, you were
wrong on that too.
473
00:14:42,977 --> 00:14:46,279
Hi.
My name is Jake Peralta,
474
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:47,746
and this is my confession.
475
00:14:47,782 --> 00:14:50,282
I destroyed the good name
of an American hero...
476
00:14:50,318 --> 00:14:51,517
Geoffrey Hoytsman.
477
00:14:53,855 --> 00:14:55,755
I framed him
for drug possession,
478
00:14:55,756 --> 00:14:57,090
I got him fired from his job,
479
00:14:57,091 --> 00:14:58,725
and I planted his scrotal prints
480
00:14:58,726 --> 00:15:00,659
on the synagogue doorknobs.
481
00:15:00,695 --> 00:15:02,896
Great, now just eighty more
confessions to go.
482
00:15:02,897 --> 00:15:05,064
You've been very naughty.
483
00:15:05,099 --> 00:15:07,968
I threatened to blow
Mr. Hoytsman's head off
484
00:15:07,969 --> 00:15:09,736
if he didn't quote-unquote
485
00:15:09,737 --> 00:15:12,304
"really cheap out
on his dad's funeral."
486
00:15:12,340 --> 00:15:14,307
And while he slept,
487
00:15:14,308 --> 00:15:16,142
I logged in to
Hoytsman's computer
488
00:15:16,143 --> 00:15:18,545
and flooded it with Thai
pornography.
489
00:15:18,546 --> 00:15:19,612
Starts crying.
490
00:15:19,647 --> 00:15:21,381
"Starts crying"
is a stage direction,
491
00:15:21,382 --> 00:15:22,916
you imbecile!
492
00:15:22,917 --> 00:15:26,086
Also, I fathered two children
with Hoytsman's cleaning lady,
493
00:15:26,087 --> 00:15:27,854
and it was I,
disguised as Geoffrey,
494
00:15:27,855 --> 00:15:30,589
who spoke against her
at her political asylum hearing.
495
00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:31,690
God.
496
00:15:31,726 --> 00:15:33,070
You did it, not me.
497
00:15:34,328 --> 00:15:37,197
I am a horrible person
who has done horrible things
498
00:15:37,198 --> 00:15:38,998
to a truly decent man,
499
00:15:39,033 --> 00:15:42,836
which is why I've decided
to take my own life.
500
00:15:42,837 --> 00:15:44,270
Wait, no, I didn't decide that.
501
00:15:44,305 --> 00:15:45,504
Spoiler alert!
502
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,870
Decided to take my own life.
503
00:15:48,871 --> 00:15:50,638
That last take sounded great.
504
00:15:50,639 --> 00:15:52,940
You really brought
my words to life.
505
00:15:52,941 --> 00:15:54,442
You know, I should write more.
506
00:15:54,443 --> 00:15:55,443
What a rush!
507
00:15:55,444 --> 00:15:57,411
Hoytsman, you don't
have to do this.
508
00:15:57,412 --> 00:15:58,646
Your life's not so bad.
509
00:15:58,647 --> 00:16:00,648
Living in an ice cream truck?
Never showering?
510
00:16:00,649 --> 00:16:02,116
That was my childhood dream.
511
00:16:02,117 --> 00:16:03,518
I had everything.
512
00:16:03,519 --> 00:16:07,121
I had friends, a wife,
two beautiful children...
513
00:16:07,122 --> 00:16:08,222
out of three total.
514
00:16:08,223 --> 00:16:09,357
Not a bad ratio.
515
00:16:09,358 --> 00:16:10,525
And now I have nothing
516
00:16:10,526 --> 00:16:11,526
and no one.
517
00:16:11,527 --> 00:16:12,627
Look, I get it.
518
00:16:12,628 --> 00:16:14,095
I know what that feels like.
519
00:16:14,096 --> 00:16:16,931
You've only lived in an ice
cream truck for part of one day!
520
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:18,533
How could you possibly know?
521
00:16:18,534 --> 00:16:20,668
Well, I know no one's
coming to rescue me.
522
00:16:20,669 --> 00:16:22,970
I was so concerned with saving
myself and my reputation
523
00:16:22,971 --> 00:16:24,304
I pushed all my friends away.
524
00:16:25,674 --> 00:16:26,941
Wow.
525
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:29,010
Sounds like you're
having a breakthrough.
526
00:16:29,011 --> 00:16:30,310
You should act on this.
527
00:16:30,345 --> 00:16:32,847
You still have time
to make it right.
528
00:16:32,848 --> 00:16:34,315
Really?
You're not gonna kill me?
529
00:16:34,316 --> 00:16:35,416
Oh, jeez.
530
00:16:35,417 --> 00:16:36,784
I totally forgot.
531
00:16:36,785 --> 00:16:38,920
Thanks for reminding me.
Of course I'm gonna kill you.
532
00:16:38,921 --> 00:16:41,422
Drugs make me say
such silly things.
533
00:16:41,423 --> 00:16:42,924
Drugs are so silly.
534
00:16:42,925 --> 00:16:46,127
Ooh, I'm gonna do some
right now.
535
00:16:46,128 --> 00:16:47,128
- Hoytsman.
- What?
536
00:16:47,129 --> 00:16:48,129
- Hyah!
- Oh!
537
00:16:48,130 --> 00:16:50,131
God!
That's my nose!
538
00:16:50,132 --> 00:16:51,565
That's where I put the drugs in!
539
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,668
- Gyah!
- Oh!
540
00:16:55,637 --> 00:16:57,305
So long, Hoytsman.
541
00:16:57,306 --> 00:16:59,239
Hyah!
542
00:16:59,274 --> 00:17:00,341
I can't move!
543
00:17:00,342 --> 00:17:02,777
I'm turtling.
I'm turtling!
544
00:17:02,778 --> 00:17:04,745
Nice try, Jake.
545
00:17:04,746 --> 00:17:05,780
Get up!
546
00:17:05,781 --> 00:17:06,913
I can't.
547
00:17:06,949 --> 00:17:08,416
Oh.
548
00:17:08,417 --> 00:17:09,683
Yeah. Okay.
My bad.
549
00:17:11,353 --> 00:17:12,954
What's this?
550
00:17:12,955 --> 00:17:16,924
I'm selling my smoke machine,
glitter cannon, and castanets.
551
00:17:16,925 --> 00:17:18,292
I would've put my soul on there,
552
00:17:18,293 --> 00:17:21,062
but that was shredded
along with my spandies.
553
00:17:21,063 --> 00:17:22,797
Gina, I want to
tell you something.
554
00:17:22,798 --> 00:17:25,533
Dancing is more than just
a hobby for you.
555
00:17:25,534 --> 00:17:26,868
It's a profession.
556
00:17:26,869 --> 00:17:28,769
Oh, so you're a liar
like Terry now?
557
00:17:28,770 --> 00:17:31,072
No, I'm no bunny-buying coward.
558
00:17:31,073 --> 00:17:33,007
You are a professional dancer,
559
00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:35,443
because I'm paying Dancy Reagan
560
00:17:35,444 --> 00:17:38,946
to perform two shows at
our at-risk youth program.
561
00:17:38,947 --> 00:17:40,114
Congratulations.
562
00:17:40,115 --> 00:17:43,284
Thank you, Captain.
563
00:17:43,285 --> 00:17:45,052
You just made me
the happiest, prettiest,
564
00:17:45,053 --> 00:17:46,587
most talented girl in the world.
565
00:17:46,588 --> 00:17:48,923
This is the best $8,000
you ever spent.
566
00:17:48,924 --> 00:17:50,357
It's $200.
567
00:17:50,392 --> 00:17:52,459
I'm sure you're
good for the rest.
568
00:17:52,494 --> 00:17:54,694
Captain loves my dancing.
569
00:18:01,069 --> 00:18:03,371
This is why you're alone, Jake.
570
00:18:03,372 --> 00:18:04,739
We were bonding,
571
00:18:04,740 --> 00:18:05,773
talking about our pain,
572
00:18:05,774 --> 00:18:07,642
and you pull a stunt like that?
573
00:18:07,643 --> 00:18:08,776
You were gonna kill me.
574
00:18:08,777 --> 00:18:10,411
Deflect, deflect, deflect.
575
00:18:10,412 --> 00:18:12,880
This is why everyone hates you.
576
00:18:12,881 --> 00:18:14,081
You open?
577
00:18:14,082 --> 00:18:16,083
Okay.
You keep it shut.
578
00:18:16,084 --> 00:18:17,617
I really need this sale.
579
00:18:20,422 --> 00:18:22,555
Hello, ma...
whoa!
580
00:18:23,592 --> 00:18:24,659
Don't hurt me!
581
00:18:24,660 --> 00:18:26,627
I'm someone's little boy.
582
00:18:26,628 --> 00:18:28,329
Geoffrey Hoytsman,
you're under arrest.
583
00:18:28,330 --> 00:18:29,463
Ow.
584
00:18:29,464 --> 00:18:32,967
Oh, I am so relieved
you guys found me.
585
00:18:32,968 --> 00:18:34,167
Wait, how did you find me?
586
00:18:34,202 --> 00:18:35,736
You hadn't done anything
super annoying to us
587
00:18:35,737 --> 00:18:36,737
for, like, five hours,
588
00:18:36,738 --> 00:18:37,939
so we knew something was wrong.
589
00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:39,307
Oh, that's very insulting
590
00:18:39,308 --> 00:18:40,741
but dead on.
591
00:18:40,742 --> 00:18:43,044
We looked through those
irritating selfies you sent us,
592
00:18:43,045 --> 00:18:44,512
and in the background
of three of them
593
00:18:44,513 --> 00:18:45,613
was an ice cream truck.
594
00:18:45,614 --> 00:18:47,515
We ran the plates
and put out an APB.
595
00:18:47,516 --> 00:18:49,450
I'm sorry we doubted
anybody was sabotaging you.
596
00:18:49,451 --> 00:18:51,052
No, I'm the one
who should apologize.
597
00:18:51,053 --> 00:18:52,720
For some reason,
I have trouble believing
598
00:18:52,721 --> 00:18:53,921
people actually have my back.
599
00:18:53,922 --> 00:18:55,222
I don't know why.
600
00:18:55,223 --> 00:18:57,658
Probably my dad abandoning me.
601
00:18:57,659 --> 00:18:59,994
Maybe something I should work
out in therapy, but...
602
00:18:59,995 --> 00:19:03,631
who has an hour to spare
once every two weeks, right?
603
00:19:03,632 --> 00:19:04,632
Anyways,
604
00:19:04,633 --> 00:19:06,199
I'm sorry I acted
like a jackass.
605
00:19:06,234 --> 00:19:08,502
Wow, Jake, you're so sincere
since you got off coke.
606
00:19:08,503 --> 00:19:10,371
And meth.
That was the hard one to kick.
607
00:19:10,372 --> 00:19:12,573
No, the hard one to kick
is angel dust,
608
00:19:12,574 --> 00:19:15,042
which is why I am
locked in for life.
609
00:19:17,245 --> 00:19:18,245
Hey.
610
00:19:18,246 --> 00:19:19,480
I double checked your evidence.
611
00:19:19,481 --> 00:19:20,481
Everything looks good.
612
00:19:20,482 --> 00:19:22,583
I got to say...
613
00:19:22,584 --> 00:19:24,018
you guys are good cops.
614
00:19:24,019 --> 00:19:25,886
Hyeah, no doy!
615
00:19:25,887 --> 00:19:27,855
How do you think we got to be
the oldest guys here?
616
00:19:27,856 --> 00:19:28,956
By never being promoted
617
00:19:28,957 --> 00:19:30,658
and losing all
your money to divorces?
618
00:19:30,659 --> 00:19:32,026
And bad investments.
619
00:19:32,027 --> 00:19:34,428
Anyway, I'm sorry
for calling you useless.
620
00:19:34,429 --> 00:19:36,330
I'm gonna make sure
everyone knows you did good.
621
00:19:36,331 --> 00:19:37,565
- Boyle, please don't.
- Don't?
622
00:19:37,566 --> 00:19:38,966
The last thing we need
623
00:19:38,967 --> 00:19:40,534
is to suddenly be
on everyone's A list.
624
00:19:40,535 --> 00:19:41,569
The ones to watch.
625
00:19:41,570 --> 00:19:42,570
The golden boys.
626
00:19:42,571 --> 00:19:43,937
Pair of red hot dicks.
627
00:19:43,972 --> 00:19:45,506
No one calls detectives
that anymore.
628
00:19:45,507 --> 00:19:46,841
People call detectives that?
629
00:19:46,842 --> 00:19:49,076
All that
investigating was exhausting.
630
00:19:49,077 --> 00:19:51,345
Besides, we did our share
of that in the '70s and '80s.
631
00:19:51,346 --> 00:19:54,248
Now we like to do paperwork
in our comfy chairs.
632
00:19:54,249 --> 00:19:55,883
If we're away from
our desks for too long,
633
00:19:55,884 --> 00:19:59,420
they'll update our computers,
and we'll lose Minesweeper.
634
00:19:59,421 --> 00:20:01,055
So please, don't tell anyone
635
00:20:01,056 --> 00:20:03,057
about the amazing work
we did today.
636
00:20:03,058 --> 00:20:04,625
I never said "amazing."
637
00:20:04,626 --> 00:20:06,527
You kind of just did your jobs.
638
00:20:06,528 --> 00:20:08,362
There you go.
639
00:20:08,363 --> 00:20:09,363
No, really.
640
00:20:09,364 --> 00:20:10,597
I mean, you also broke a window.
641
00:20:10,632 --> 00:20:11,865
Now you get it.
642
00:20:15,737 --> 00:20:17,571
Your suspension
has been lifted, Peralta.
643
00:20:17,572 --> 00:20:19,073
Well, that's great news, sir.
644
00:20:19,074 --> 00:20:20,808
And now it is time
for the traditional
645
00:20:20,809 --> 00:20:22,143
handing back of gun and badge
646
00:20:22,144 --> 00:20:23,544
to the vindicated hero ceremony.
647
00:20:23,545 --> 00:20:24,712
Everyone in!
648
00:20:24,713 --> 00:20:26,346
I don't have your gun
or your badge.
649
00:20:26,381 --> 00:20:29,850
Just take form 891-underscore-J
down to the equipment room
650
00:20:29,851 --> 00:20:31,419
and retrieve your things there.
651
00:20:31,420 --> 00:20:33,154
I'm sorry,
but that's unacceptable.
652
00:20:33,155 --> 00:20:34,355
Come on, Captain.
I need this.
653
00:20:34,356 --> 00:20:35,356
We all need this!
654
00:20:36,925 --> 00:20:39,293
Fine. Fine.
655
00:20:39,294 --> 00:20:41,127
If this will make you happy...
656
00:20:42,931 --> 00:20:45,800
I believe these belong to you.
657
00:20:45,801 --> 00:20:46,967
Congratulations.
658
00:20:49,337 --> 00:20:50,905
That's very nice.
Thank you.
659
00:20:50,906 --> 00:20:53,140
But as I've said before,
the system stinks,
660
00:20:53,141 --> 00:20:54,408
and this isn't over.
661
00:20:54,409 --> 00:20:56,744
I say we march down
to city hall!
662
00:20:56,745 --> 00:20:58,145
Get out of my office.
663
00:20:58,146 --> 00:20:59,146
Yup.
664
00:20:59,147 --> 00:21:02,928
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/