1
00:00:12,817 --> 00:00:14,835
Oh, my God!
2
00:00:14,836 --> 00:00:16,994
Rosa's wearing pink!
Rosa's wearing pink!
3
00:00:16,995 --> 00:00:20,772
Are we sure it's not a white shirt that's
just been bloodied in a motorcycle crash?
4
00:00:20,773 --> 00:00:22,937
Maybe it wasn't her.
Does she have a twin sister?
5
00:00:22,938 --> 00:00:24,606
If Rosa had a twin,
6
00:00:24,607 --> 00:00:26,374
she would have eaten her
in the womb.
7
00:00:26,375 --> 00:00:27,942
Wait. Hold it. Stop.
8
00:00:27,943 --> 00:00:29,511
How come none of you
teased her about it?
9
00:00:29,512 --> 00:00:31,212
It's Rosa.
She's scary.
10
00:00:31,247 --> 00:00:32,914
You guys are unbelievable.
11
00:00:32,915 --> 00:00:34,949
I once wore a tie
with a splash of purple.
12
00:00:34,950 --> 00:00:37,018
You guys called me Mr. Grapes
for two years.
13
00:00:37,019 --> 00:00:39,187
Oh, Mr. Grapes.
14
00:00:39,188 --> 00:00:40,889
I forgot about Mr. Grapes.
15
00:00:40,890 --> 00:00:43,391
If I wore a pink shirt,
you'd tear me to shreds.
16
00:00:43,392 --> 00:00:46,161
Well, yeah, but you'd look like
a My Little Pony with a gun.
17
00:00:46,195 --> 00:00:47,395
Let me guess.
18
00:00:47,429 --> 00:00:49,264
Your theater club
is putting on Grease,
19
00:00:49,265 --> 00:00:50,732
and you're playing
a pink lady.
20
00:00:52,201 --> 00:00:53,401
What are you guys
laughing at?
21
00:00:53,402 --> 00:00:54,903
If Boyle was wearing
a pink shirt.
22
00:00:54,904 --> 00:00:56,404
I get it.
That's hilarious.
23
00:00:56,405 --> 00:00:57,405
What's happening?
24
00:00:57,406 --> 00:00:59,174
Rosa is the one wearing pink.
25
00:01:00,242 --> 00:01:01,676
And?
26
00:01:01,677 --> 00:01:02,877
It's gorgeous.
27
00:01:02,878 --> 00:01:04,245
I wish I could pull that off
28
00:01:04,246 --> 00:01:05,580
Dream on,
Strawberry Shortcake.
29
00:01:05,581 --> 00:01:07,582
Yeah, nice try, Mr. Grapes.
30
00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:10,451
Mr. Grapes.
31
00:01:10,452 --> 00:01:12,420
Mr. Grapes!
32
00:01:12,421 --> 00:01:16,216
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
33
00:01:16,217 --> 00:01:23,431
♪ ♪
34
00:01:32,441 --> 00:01:34,676
Last night, several masked men
robbed a number
35
00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:36,711
of check cashing locations
in our precinct.
36
00:01:36,745 --> 00:01:38,813
They also hit several locations
in the Nine-Three,
37
00:01:38,814 --> 00:01:40,815
so this will be
a joint investigation.
38
00:01:40,816 --> 00:01:43,284
Detective David Majors
is already on the case.
39
00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:45,353
Whoa, Dave Majors?
40
00:01:45,354 --> 00:01:46,353
Seriously?
41
00:01:46,355 --> 00:01:47,856
Who's that?
42
00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:50,325
He's The best detective in
the NYPD, myself included.
43
00:01:50,359 --> 00:01:52,460
His arrest numbers
are staggering.
44
00:01:52,461 --> 00:01:54,829
His conviction rate
is magnificent.
45
00:01:54,830 --> 00:01:56,965
He is blotter dynamite.
46
00:01:56,999 --> 00:01:58,466
I mean, I'm cool.
47
00:01:58,467 --> 00:01:59,868
I'm just hanging out
with you guys.
48
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:02,003
Okay, but what's his body like
49
00:02:02,004 --> 00:02:04,038
on a scale from Charles
to Terry?
50
00:02:04,073 --> 00:02:05,440
Sorry, buddy.
51
00:02:05,441 --> 00:02:06,474
What?
52
00:02:06,475 --> 00:02:07,876
I'm the ten.
53
00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:08,877
Sure you are.
54
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:10,812
Majors does just fine.
55
00:02:10,813 --> 00:02:13,214
His girlfriend is the weather
lady from channel five.
56
00:02:13,215 --> 00:02:15,483
You know, the one who's always
reaching for Cooperstown?
57
00:02:15,484 --> 00:02:16,851
Love her.
58
00:02:16,852 --> 00:02:18,219
Well, I need someone
to partner up with him.
59
00:02:18,220 --> 00:02:19,788
- Ooh, me, me, me, me, me.
- Oh, I'll do it.
60
00:02:19,789 --> 00:02:21,222
Sir, with all due respect,
I'm the obvious choice.
61
00:02:21,257 --> 00:02:24,025
I mean, look at me.
I'm not in profile.
62
00:02:24,026 --> 00:02:25,493
Sir, please let the record show
63
00:02:25,494 --> 00:02:27,595
that the sauce on his face
is from yesterday.
64
00:02:27,596 --> 00:02:29,030
And it is that level
of eagle-eyed observation
65
00:02:29,031 --> 00:02:30,265
that I plan to bring to...
66
00:02:30,266 --> 00:02:32,467
Enough.
You can both work the case.
67
00:02:32,501 --> 00:02:34,135
Three heads are better
than two.
68
00:02:34,170 --> 00:02:35,637
Also,
I fear any other decision I make
69
00:02:35,638 --> 00:02:36,805
will just result
in further noise.
70
00:02:36,806 --> 00:02:37,972
Good call, sir.
71
00:02:37,973 --> 00:02:39,808
I was about to start chanting,
"Vote for Jake."
72
00:02:39,809 --> 00:02:41,009
Let's do it anyway.
73
00:02:41,010 --> 00:02:43,011
Vote for Jake.
Vote for Jake.
74
00:02:43,012 --> 00:02:45,513
- Dismissed.
- Yeah.
75
00:02:45,548 --> 00:02:46,748
Code Chartreuse.
76
00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:48,249
I repeat, Code Chartreuse.
77
00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:49,284
Gina, for the last time,
78
00:02:49,285 --> 00:02:51,019
please limit your alerts
to ROY-G-BIV.
79
00:02:51,020 --> 00:02:52,187
Disappointing.
80
00:02:52,188 --> 00:02:53,788
"Code Chartreuse" means
"the recruiter
81
00:02:53,789 --> 00:02:55,990
from Copperhead Security,
Gary Shaw, is here."
82
00:02:55,991 --> 00:02:58,193
Gary Shaw has attempted
to pry me away
83
00:02:58,194 --> 00:03:00,328
from the NYPD for eight years.
84
00:03:00,329 --> 00:03:03,198
When he makes his offer,
I know just what I'll say:
85
00:03:03,232 --> 00:03:06,701
Never is not just a crater
on Mars.
86
00:03:06,735 --> 00:03:08,055
Of course,
it is a crater on Mars.
87
00:03:08,070 --> 00:03:09,170
That's hilarious.
88
00:03:09,171 --> 00:03:10,505
It's not meant to be funny,
Boyle.
89
00:03:10,506 --> 00:03:12,006
It's meant to be devastating.
90
00:03:12,007 --> 00:03:14,309
Captain Holt,
good to see you.
91
00:03:14,343 --> 00:03:17,312
Mr. Shaw,
let's just cut to the chase:
92
00:03:17,313 --> 00:03:20,215
Never is not just a crater
on Mars.
93
00:03:24,019 --> 00:03:25,687
Of course,
it is a crater on Mars.
94
00:03:25,688 --> 00:03:27,489
Well, actually,
I'm not here for you.
95
00:03:27,490 --> 00:03:29,557
A member of your squad
reached out to me,
96
00:03:29,558 --> 00:03:31,392
a Sergeant Terry Jeffords.
97
00:03:31,427 --> 00:03:33,495
Oh.
98
00:03:33,496 --> 00:03:34,562
Oh, I see.
99
00:03:34,563 --> 00:03:37,665
Well,
Sergeant Jeffords is out there.
100
00:03:37,666 --> 00:03:38,900
Thank you, Captain.
101
00:03:38,934 --> 00:03:41,936
There's my guy
Terry the tank.
102
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:44,973
What? Guys. What? Guys.
103
00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:46,908
Terry called him?
He's shaking Terry's hand.
104
00:03:46,909 --> 00:03:49,110
Now I'm just describing
everything that's happening?
105
00:03:49,111 --> 00:03:50,412
What the hell is going on?
106
00:03:50,413 --> 00:03:51,646
I do not know.
107
00:03:51,647 --> 00:03:53,882
And now Captain Holt
doesn't know.
108
00:04:00,356 --> 00:04:03,792
Well, well, well,
what do we have here?
109
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:05,493
Oh, Majors isn't here yet?
110
00:04:05,494 --> 00:04:08,029
I wasted all that coolness
on a bunch of nobodies.
111
00:04:08,063 --> 00:04:09,230
I'm just gonna reset.
112
00:04:12,134 --> 00:04:14,102
Jake, he's a
highly decorated detective.
113
00:04:14,103 --> 00:04:16,604
He's not gonna be impressed
by your sunglass choreography.
114
00:04:16,639 --> 00:04:19,774
He's gonna be too distracted
by my notebook flip.
115
00:04:19,809 --> 00:04:22,477
Shut up. Shut up.
He's here.
116
00:04:22,511 --> 00:04:23,978
Hey,
you must be the Nine-Nine.
117
00:04:23,979 --> 00:04:25,346
- I'm Majors.
- Hey. Peralta.
118
00:04:25,381 --> 00:04:27,715
This is Santiago.
119
00:04:27,716 --> 00:04:30,418
Well, well, well,
what do we have here?
120
00:04:30,419 --> 00:04:32,520
You mean here in my notebook?
121
00:04:32,555 --> 00:04:34,622
I looked into the baby masks
the perps were wearing,
122
00:04:34,623 --> 00:04:36,725
and no stores
in the tri-state area sell them.
123
00:04:36,726 --> 00:04:38,860
Reminds me of a murder I worked
a few years back.
124
00:04:38,894 --> 00:04:40,395
Perp always wore
these weird masks
125
00:04:40,429 --> 00:04:42,149
We couldn't figure out
where he bought them.
126
00:04:42,164 --> 00:04:43,631
Turns out he was making
his own masks
127
00:04:43,632 --> 00:04:45,366
from human skin.
128
00:04:45,401 --> 00:04:46,901
No.
129
00:04:46,902 --> 00:04:48,536
That is so awesome.
130
00:04:48,537 --> 00:04:50,405
Really, Amy?
For whom?
131
00:04:50,406 --> 00:04:51,906
Sounds to me like those
face masks
132
00:04:51,907 --> 00:04:54,709
were once somebody's face...
faces.
133
00:04:54,744 --> 00:04:55,944
That's true, Peralta.
134
00:04:55,945 --> 00:04:57,345
I think about that every day.
135
00:04:57,380 --> 00:05:00,081
You and me both.
Ahh.
136
00:05:00,116 --> 00:05:02,951
Okay, I'm gonna look around,
take a few statements.
137
00:05:02,952 --> 00:05:03,985
Juicy. Juicy.
138
00:05:03,986 --> 00:05:05,520
- Good call. Good call.
- Yep, yep, yep.
139
00:05:05,521 --> 00:05:06,921
Tight, tight, tight,
tight, tight.
140
00:05:06,956 --> 00:05:09,424
Well, looks like round one
goes to Peralta.
141
00:05:09,425 --> 00:05:11,192
And don't worry;
I'm just getting warmed up.
142
00:05:11,193 --> 00:05:12,560
I still have eight
sunglass moves
143
00:05:12,561 --> 00:05:13,595
locked and loaded.
144
00:05:13,629 --> 00:05:16,331
Make that nine.
145
00:05:16,332 --> 00:05:18,166
A-whee.
146
00:05:24,206 --> 00:05:27,142
So how was lunch?
147
00:05:27,143 --> 00:05:28,309
It was good.
148
00:05:28,344 --> 00:05:29,778
I had the T-bone with...
149
00:05:29,779 --> 00:05:31,212
I don't give a crap
about the food.
150
00:05:31,213 --> 00:05:32,747
Just email me
about that later.
151
00:05:32,748 --> 00:05:33,748
What happened with Gary?
152
00:05:33,749 --> 00:05:35,583
He gave me the hard sell.
153
00:05:35,584 --> 00:05:38,486
Look at all this swag I got:
154
00:05:38,487 --> 00:05:40,889
Puffy vest, carabiner...
155
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,223
Terry, carabiners suck.
156
00:05:42,224 --> 00:05:43,825
You want free stuff?
157
00:05:43,826 --> 00:05:45,226
Here you go.
All right?
158
00:05:45,227 --> 00:05:46,761
You can have anything
you want from Amy's desk.
159
00:05:46,762 --> 00:05:47,762
Yeah.
160
00:05:47,763 --> 00:05:50,131
Gary made me an offer:
161
00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:53,935
Better hours, great benefits,
a serious pay raise,
162
00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:56,471
my own office...
with walls.
163
00:05:56,505 --> 00:05:58,540
Did you tell him Terry
doesn't love walls?
164
00:05:58,541 --> 00:06:00,208
No, Terry loves walls.
165
00:06:00,242 --> 00:06:02,610
I'm seriously considering
saying yes
166
00:06:02,611 --> 00:06:04,512
Look, I have another kid
on the way.
167
00:06:04,513 --> 00:06:06,481
Do you know how much
diapers cost?
168
00:06:06,515 --> 00:06:08,550
Yes.
169
00:06:11,420 --> 00:06:12,654
The point is,
170
00:06:12,655 --> 00:06:15,156
I'm trying to do what's best
for my family.
171
00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:17,158
- It's not just about me.
- Exactly.
172
00:06:17,193 --> 00:06:21,763
It's about me and how you are
abandoning me to these squares.
173
00:06:23,099 --> 00:06:24,199
Yikes.
174
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,900
Look at all these baby masks.
175
00:06:25,901 --> 00:06:28,203
Looks like someone's due
for a spanking from Papa Law.
176
00:06:28,204 --> 00:06:29,471
Nice.
177
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,573
So the van was stolen
from a rental lot
178
00:06:31,574 --> 00:06:34,542
three weeks ago
and dumped here yesterday.
179
00:06:34,543 --> 00:06:38,013
Talk about
a curbside drop-off.
180
00:06:38,014 --> 00:06:40,815
We're working a case here, Amy.
It's not Showtime at the Apollo.
181
00:06:40,850 --> 00:06:43,151
Great point.
Thank you so much, Jake.
182
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:46,688
Well, I'm going to go sign
the van over to forensics.
183
00:06:48,457 --> 00:06:51,159
Hey, listen, I'm a member
of this invite-only speakeasy
184
00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:52,193
called The Keychain.
185
00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:53,561
Want to get
a drink there later?
186
00:06:53,562 --> 00:06:55,797
I'd ask Amy also,
but I can only bring one guest.
187
00:06:55,798 --> 00:06:58,066
Nah, it's cool; I'm sure
she's busy tonight anyway.
188
00:06:58,067 --> 00:06:59,534
Taxes are due
in eight months.
189
00:06:59,568 --> 00:07:01,102
Actually, they were due
two weeks ago.
190
00:07:01,103 --> 00:07:03,805
Well,
that is a horrible surprise.
191
00:07:03,806 --> 00:07:06,875
But the point is,
drink sounds good.
192
00:07:16,385 --> 00:07:17,552
Password?
193
00:07:17,586 --> 00:07:19,120
Tropical.
194
00:07:22,925 --> 00:07:27,629
Oh, my gah.
195
00:07:27,630 --> 00:07:29,764
This place is amazing.
196
00:07:29,765 --> 00:07:32,167
Yeah, I come here
after ever case I solve,
197
00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:33,401
which means I'm here a lot.
198
00:07:33,436 --> 00:07:34,869
Oh, nice.
199
00:07:34,870 --> 00:07:36,371
Every time I solve one,
I go get a steak dinner.
200
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:38,006
My cholesterol is uh-terrible.
201
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,008
Milo,
this is my friend Jake.
202
00:07:40,009 --> 00:07:41,309
We're working a case together.
203
00:07:41,310 --> 00:07:43,111
Yeah, and this is
my friend Dave.
204
00:07:43,112 --> 00:07:44,679
We're friends.
I'll have a...
205
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,014
Oh no.
You don't order here.
206
00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:48,416
Milo makes you a drink
he knows you'll love,
207
00:07:48,417 --> 00:07:49,551
and then you love it.
208
00:07:49,585 --> 00:07:50,919
Really?
Interesting.
209
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:54,556
Barrel Proof bourbon, neat
orange stood a chaser.
210
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,091
Well, to the first
of many hangs.
211
00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:57,525
Yeah, totally.
212
00:07:57,526 --> 00:07:59,894
Listen, the reason
I brought you here is,
213
00:07:59,895 --> 00:08:02,530
I want to ask you,
what's the deal with Santiago?
214
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:03,765
Amy?
Oh, no.
215
00:08:03,766 --> 00:08:04,900
Did she do something weird?
216
00:08:04,934 --> 00:08:06,468
No, no, she's great.
217
00:08:06,469 --> 00:08:08,203
I just want to know if there's
something going on with you two.
218
00:08:08,204 --> 00:08:09,537
You know, are you together...
219
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:11,373
Oh, no, no.
220
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:12,908
Cool, when this case is over,
221
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:13,909
I'm gonna ask her out.
222
00:08:13,943 --> 00:08:15,744
Oh.
223
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:18,680
You're gonna ask out Amy
when the case ends.
224
00:08:18,681 --> 00:08:20,715
Perfect.
225
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,284
Oh.
226
00:08:22,285 --> 00:08:23,551
Yeah,
that's a sippin' whiskey.
227
00:08:25,488 --> 00:08:26,829
So it is.
228
00:08:35,529 --> 00:08:36,729
Seems about right.
229
00:08:36,730 --> 00:08:38,097
What's wrong with you?
230
00:08:38,098 --> 00:08:41,701
You and Majors have too much fun
last night at "The Keychain?"
231
00:08:41,702 --> 00:08:44,203
Okay, it's a private bar,
not a haunted motel.
232
00:08:44,204 --> 00:08:46,272
And no,
I did not have a good time.
233
00:08:46,273 --> 00:08:48,074
Turns out he didn't want
to be best bros at all.
234
00:08:48,075 --> 00:08:49,742
He just wanted to know
if I was cool with him
235
00:08:49,743 --> 00:08:51,144
asking Amy out
when the case ended.
236
00:08:51,178 --> 00:08:52,545
I thought he was dating
that weather girl.
237
00:08:52,546 --> 00:08:53,746
No, he dumped her because she
blamed Hurricane Sandy
238
00:08:53,747 --> 00:08:55,114
on gay marriage.
239
00:08:55,115 --> 00:08:56,416
Anyways,
now when the case ends,
240
00:08:56,417 --> 00:08:58,851
Amy is gonna marry
Detective "Blotter Dynamite."
241
00:08:58,852 --> 00:08:59,919
Why do you even care?
242
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:01,287
You still like her?
243
00:09:01,288 --> 00:09:03,423
I don't know.
I mean, we're friends.
244
00:09:03,424 --> 00:09:05,591
And things have been
kind of flirty lately.
245
00:09:05,592 --> 00:09:07,794
Plus, we had this weird
romantic moment thing-y
246
00:09:07,795 --> 00:09:09,429
at Charles and Gina's
parents' wedding.
247
00:09:09,430 --> 00:09:11,164
Ugh, just say you still like her.
248
00:09:11,165 --> 00:09:12,899
All right, fine,
I still like her.
249
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,567
Look, I've been thinking
about asking her out
250
00:09:14,568 --> 00:09:16,069
for the last couple of weeks,
but it's hard.
251
00:09:16,070 --> 00:09:17,837
There's so much buildup now,
you know?
252
00:09:17,838 --> 00:09:18,971
Not really.
I don't ask people out.
253
00:09:18,972 --> 00:09:20,373
I just tell them
where we're going.
254
00:09:20,374 --> 00:09:22,075
Great, well,
it doesn't matter now anyway,
255
00:09:22,076 --> 00:09:23,276
'cause I told Dave
to go for it.
256
00:09:23,277 --> 00:09:24,277
That was crazy stupid.
257
00:09:24,278 --> 00:09:26,312
Sorry.
That was normal stupid.
258
00:09:26,313 --> 00:09:27,747
You should have told him
to back off.
259
00:09:27,748 --> 00:09:29,582
I can't go around telling guys
not to ask Amy out
260
00:09:29,583 --> 00:09:31,851
because I like her and I'm too
dumb to do anything about it.
261
00:09:31,852 --> 00:09:33,319
I can't make
a woman's choice for her.
262
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,021
I stand with Wendy.
Did I do that right?
263
00:09:35,022 --> 00:09:36,089
- No.
- Oh.
264
00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:37,991
Look, If you want to give her
a real choice,
265
00:09:37,992 --> 00:09:41,627
you've got to let her know
that you are an option.
266
00:09:41,628 --> 00:09:43,096
I think you know
what you've got to do.
267
00:09:43,097 --> 00:09:44,430
Yeah.
268
00:09:44,431 --> 00:09:45,999
Ask her out before
the case ends, right?
269
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,433
I just want to be
extra clear.
270
00:09:47,434 --> 00:09:49,769
The stakes are through
the roof for me on this one.
271
00:09:52,706 --> 00:09:53,706
You wanted to see us?
272
00:09:53,707 --> 00:09:55,475
What are these
requisition forms?
273
00:09:55,476 --> 00:09:58,711
We are throwing Terry
a "please stay" party.
274
00:09:58,712 --> 00:10:02,415
My vision is a frozen yogurt
machine operated by Pam Grier.
275
00:10:02,416 --> 00:10:06,052
Sir, we think Sarge is going
to accept Copperhead's offer.
276
00:10:06,053 --> 00:10:07,587
I never thought
I'd say these words:
277
00:10:07,588 --> 00:10:09,889
You have to put Gina in touch
with Pam Grier.
278
00:10:09,890 --> 00:10:11,824
No, Sergeant Jeffords
can make up his mind
279
00:10:11,825 --> 00:10:14,560
without the influence
of Foxy Brown or cold yogurt.
280
00:10:14,561 --> 00:10:15,662
He is a grown man.
281
00:10:15,663 --> 00:10:17,930
Oh,
I see what's going on here
282
00:10:17,931 --> 00:10:19,866
You're upset that Terry
would even consider
283
00:10:19,867 --> 00:10:21,300
leaving the Nine-Nine.
284
00:10:21,301 --> 00:10:25,104
I'd expect this pettiness from
a spineless amoeba like Charles,
285
00:10:25,139 --> 00:10:26,225
but not you, Sir.
286
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:27,440
I'm not spineless.
287
00:10:27,441 --> 00:10:28,441
Come on, Charles.
288
00:10:28,442 --> 00:10:29,442
Yep.
289
00:10:30,778 --> 00:10:32,378
Ahh, look who's finally here.
290
00:10:32,379 --> 00:10:33,946
We already solved the case
without you.
291
00:10:33,947 --> 00:10:35,315
What?
You did?
292
00:10:35,316 --> 00:10:36,616
Kidding.
293
00:10:36,650 --> 00:10:38,117
Oliver was actually giving us
some pretty bad news.
294
00:10:38,152 --> 00:10:39,652
Carry on, Oliver.
295
00:10:39,653 --> 00:10:41,154
So we swabbed the whole van.
296
00:10:41,155 --> 00:10:42,655
We didn't find anything.
297
00:10:42,656 --> 00:10:44,657
No hairs, no fibers, no semen.
298
00:10:44,658 --> 00:10:47,293
And a rental van is usually
a frickin' Jackson Pollock.
299
00:10:47,328 --> 00:10:48,328
All right.
300
00:10:48,329 --> 00:10:49,429
They also wiped
down the masks
301
00:10:49,430 --> 00:10:51,197
with some sort of
bleach solution.
302
00:10:51,198 --> 00:10:52,966
They were really
covering their tracks.
303
00:10:52,967 --> 00:10:54,534
Check it out.
304
00:10:54,535 --> 00:10:56,169
Well,
that wasn't very helpful.
305
00:10:56,170 --> 00:10:58,705
Although, I did learn I should
never rent a van again.
306
00:10:58,706 --> 00:11:00,773
Hey, can I talk to you
for a second privately?
307
00:11:00,774 --> 00:11:02,642
Sure.
Oh, wait.
308
00:11:02,643 --> 00:11:04,344
This isn't gonna be that thing
where you pretend you got
309
00:11:04,345 --> 00:11:05,678
an important text from Holt,
310
00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:07,180
and it's just that video
of screaming sheep.
311
00:11:07,181 --> 00:11:09,816
I promise you it's not,
but I do stand by that prank.
312
00:11:11,752 --> 00:11:13,720
So what's up?
313
00:11:13,721 --> 00:11:17,757
Okay, I almost feel
weird saying this,
314
00:11:17,758 --> 00:11:20,126
but I wanted to ask you...
315
00:11:20,127 --> 00:11:21,828
wow, those pictures
are not helping.
316
00:11:21,829 --> 00:11:23,262
Oh, my God.
317
00:11:23,263 --> 00:11:25,031
They're really gonna
have to re-grout.
318
00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:26,666
Ugh, finding a contractor.
319
00:11:26,667 --> 00:11:28,001
You are so consistent.
320
00:11:28,002 --> 00:11:30,003
Anyways, the question I wanted
to ask you is...
321
00:11:30,004 --> 00:11:31,804
So I got the results
on that feces.
322
00:11:31,805 --> 00:11:34,907
It's human,
but it's not all human.
323
00:11:34,908 --> 00:11:36,109
You're not Dr. Gassner.
324
00:11:36,110 --> 00:11:37,143
We are not.
325
00:11:37,144 --> 00:11:38,311
- Can you give us a sec?
- Sure.
326
00:11:38,312 --> 00:11:39,646
Real quick,
what was the other...
327
00:11:39,647 --> 00:11:40,880
Dog and bear.
328
00:11:40,881 --> 00:11:42,181
Wow.
329
00:11:42,182 --> 00:11:44,183
I thought you'd really
be into that feces puzzle.
330
00:11:44,184 --> 00:11:45,618
Normally, yes.
331
00:11:45,619 --> 00:11:47,787
But I want to talk to you
about something else right now.
332
00:11:47,788 --> 00:11:49,088
More specifically...
333
00:11:49,089 --> 00:11:51,090
- Guys, dispatch just called.
- Great, Dave's here now.
334
00:11:51,091 --> 00:11:52,792
The check-cashing babies
just struck on Flatbush.
335
00:11:52,793 --> 00:11:53,793
We've got to go.
336
00:11:53,794 --> 00:11:55,161
Lead the way.
337
00:11:55,162 --> 00:11:56,829
What did you want to tell me?
338
00:11:56,830 --> 00:12:00,767
Oh, Captain Holt sent
a very important text.
339
00:12:00,801 --> 00:12:01,868
Oh.
340
00:12:11,045 --> 00:12:12,211
What's that smell?
341
00:12:12,212 --> 00:12:15,081
That's lavender.
Terry loves lavender.
342
00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:17,250
A little homemade
honey yogurt
343
00:12:17,251 --> 00:12:20,386
infused with
lavender and love.
344
00:12:20,387 --> 00:12:23,856
Mmm, that is delicious.
345
00:12:23,857 --> 00:12:25,391
Hold it.
346
00:12:25,392 --> 00:12:27,794
This isn't some weird breast
milk or something is it, Boyle?
347
00:12:27,795 --> 00:12:29,929
I mean, technically
it's from a sheep's breast.
348
00:12:29,930 --> 00:12:32,231
Hey, Terry,
got any new baby pics?
349
00:12:32,232 --> 00:12:34,033
You hate looking at
pictures of my twins.
350
00:12:34,068 --> 00:12:35,468
You said since they
were identical,
351
00:12:35,502 --> 00:12:37,203
I didn't need to take
photos of both.
352
00:12:37,237 --> 00:12:39,105
That doesn't sound
like Auntie Gina.
353
00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:41,040
I love your baby pics
354
00:12:41,041 --> 00:12:43,977
and your stories about
the twins' sleep schedules.
355
00:12:43,978 --> 00:12:46,813
Okay, I know what
you two are doing.
356
00:12:46,814 --> 00:12:48,381
This is your weird way
of trying
357
00:12:48,382 --> 00:12:50,717
to make me stay
at the Nine-Nine.
358
00:12:50,718 --> 00:12:53,219
Well, I am loving it.
359
00:12:54,521 --> 00:12:56,890
You know, the funny thing is,
Cagney naps better,
360
00:12:56,891 --> 00:12:59,425
but at night,
that's Lacey's time to shine.
361
00:12:59,426 --> 00:13:00,827
One time,
she went 8-to-8.
362
00:13:00,828 --> 00:13:01,928
- Dang.
- Wow.
363
00:13:01,929 --> 00:13:03,296
I know.
364
00:13:03,297 --> 00:13:05,632
Jeffords, I need you to digitize
all your case files
365
00:13:05,633 --> 00:13:08,668
from 1995 to 1999 inclusive
by tomorrow at 9:00 a.m.
366
00:13:08,669 --> 00:13:10,436
But it's already 1:00.
367
00:13:10,437 --> 00:13:12,438
I told Sharon
we'd have dinner tonight.
368
00:13:12,439 --> 00:13:14,374
I was gonna have
a cup of coffee
369
00:13:14,375 --> 00:13:17,210
so that I could stay up
and... kiss.
370
00:13:17,211 --> 00:13:19,679
I suggest putting that
caffeine towards something
371
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:23,316
more productive
than "kissing."
372
00:13:23,317 --> 00:13:25,485
Sir, what are you doing?
373
00:13:25,486 --> 00:13:27,554
Making sure Jeffords'
case files are digitized
374
00:13:27,555 --> 00:13:29,556
by tomorrow at 9:00 a.m.
375
00:13:29,557 --> 00:13:32,091
I thought I was
perfectly clear.
376
00:13:32,092 --> 00:13:35,495
I've got to call my wife,
tell her date night is off.
377
00:13:35,496 --> 00:13:38,932
I sent her all those kiss-face
emojis for no damn reason.
378
00:13:38,933 --> 00:13:40,500
Oh, no.
379
00:13:40,501 --> 00:13:42,535
Despite what I've been
saying for years,
380
00:13:42,536 --> 00:13:45,305
that ass just might quit.
381
00:13:45,306 --> 00:13:46,706
I don't get it.
382
00:13:46,707 --> 00:13:48,208
There's no rhyme or reason
to the locations they hit.
383
00:13:48,209 --> 00:13:49,842
This place was so
well-guarded.
384
00:13:49,843 --> 00:13:51,311
And why not hit the one
down the street
385
00:13:51,312 --> 00:13:52,645
that just has an old man
out front?
386
00:13:52,646 --> 00:13:55,148
It just seems so random.
387
00:13:55,149 --> 00:13:58,618
Yeah, it's like...
oh, that feels great.
388
00:13:58,619 --> 00:13:59,919
I don't think it's random.
389
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:01,654
These guys are too good,
you know.
390
00:14:01,655 --> 00:14:03,223
We'll crack it.
391
00:14:03,224 --> 00:14:04,624
I'm gonna go grab
some coffee.
392
00:14:04,625 --> 00:14:06,192
Great.
393
00:14:06,193 --> 00:14:07,894
Mm.
394
00:14:07,895 --> 00:14:09,829
Hey, now that it's just us,
395
00:14:09,830 --> 00:14:12,499
there's a thing
I wanted to...
396
00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:15,168
to say a-da-za you.
397
00:14:15,169 --> 00:14:16,436
Why doesn't your mouth work?
398
00:14:16,437 --> 00:14:18,037
Why doesn't your mouth work?
Title of our sex tape.
399
00:14:18,038 --> 00:14:19,005
- What?
- Your sex tape.
400
00:14:19,006 --> 00:14:20,373
What?
No.
401
00:14:20,374 --> 00:14:24,277
Look,
here's what I wanted to say.
402
00:14:24,278 --> 00:14:26,145
Oh, no.
I just figured it out.
403
00:14:26,146 --> 00:14:27,881
- Huh?
- Here, look.
404
00:14:27,882 --> 00:14:30,250
The trash cans, the van,
the jumpsuit,
405
00:14:30,251 --> 00:14:32,018
they all say
"Johnny's Janitorial."
406
00:14:32,019 --> 00:14:33,052
Not random.
407
00:14:33,053 --> 00:14:34,954
They cased each location
as cleaners.
408
00:14:34,955 --> 00:14:36,789
That's why the van
was so spotless.
409
00:14:36,790 --> 00:14:37,924
Hey, what did I miss?
410
00:14:37,925 --> 00:14:39,425
Jake just solved the case.
411
00:14:39,426 --> 00:14:41,494
Holy crap.
That's awesome.
412
00:14:42,496 --> 00:14:43,730
All right.
413
00:14:43,731 --> 00:14:46,733
I mean, but, you know,
it's not totally done yet.
414
00:14:46,734 --> 00:14:48,368
You know,
still a long way to go.
415
00:14:48,369 --> 00:14:50,537
Tons of paperwork,
and a case is never truly done
416
00:14:50,538 --> 00:14:51,871
until the trial is complete
417
00:14:51,872 --> 00:14:54,407
and the sentence is served
completely to its fruition
418
00:14:54,408 --> 00:14:55,642
in prison.
419
00:14:55,643 --> 00:14:57,310
Jake, just celebrate.
420
00:14:57,311 --> 00:14:59,179
Okay.
421
00:14:59,180 --> 00:15:00,947
Wow.
422
00:15:03,701 --> 00:15:05,035
Why the long face?
423
00:15:05,036 --> 00:15:07,037
That Mexican candy
giving you nerve damage again?
424
00:15:07,071 --> 00:15:09,072
Probably, but who even cares?
425
00:15:09,073 --> 00:15:10,340
Why'd I have to solve the case?
426
00:15:10,375 --> 00:15:11,842
Why couldn't I have just
let those guys continue
427
00:15:11,843 --> 00:15:13,377
to terrorize Brooklyn
until I built up the nerve
428
00:15:13,378 --> 00:15:14,378
to ask out a girl?
429
00:15:14,412 --> 00:15:15,479
You're a good cop.
430
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:16,840
Do not beat yourself up
about that.
431
00:15:16,848 --> 00:15:18,315
I'm not a good cop.
I'm an amazing cop.
432
00:15:18,316 --> 00:15:19,935
And I'll never
forgive myself.
433
00:15:19,951 --> 00:15:21,785
The case is over,
Amy and Majors are on their way
434
00:15:21,786 --> 00:15:22,920
to The Keychain right now.
435
00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:23,920
It's too late.
436
00:15:23,922 --> 00:15:25,222
Has she done
the double tuck yet?
437
00:15:25,223 --> 00:15:26,790
When Amy really likes a guy,
438
00:15:26,791 --> 00:15:28,192
she gets nervous
and tucks her hair
439
00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:30,461
behind both ears
at the same time.
440
00:15:32,564 --> 00:15:34,364
Well, I can never unsee that,
441
00:15:34,365 --> 00:15:35,999
but no,
she has not done that yet.
442
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,034
Then there's still time.
443
00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:39,336
Get in there
and bust up her date.
444
00:15:39,337 --> 00:15:40,437
Show her you care.
445
00:15:40,438 --> 00:15:41,672
Ruin her night.
446
00:15:41,706 --> 00:15:43,740
You really have
a unique take on love.
447
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:51,682
Ugh, I've only gotten through
September of 1995.
448
00:15:51,716 --> 00:15:52,916
What are you guys doing here?
449
00:15:52,917 --> 00:15:54,751
Blowing your stupid mind.
450
00:15:54,752 --> 00:15:56,286
We did the rest
of the files for you.
451
00:15:56,321 --> 00:15:58,222
Seriously?
452
00:15:58,223 --> 00:16:00,090
I'm gonna text my wife.
453
00:16:00,091 --> 00:16:02,593
Now there's time for dinner
and a movie.
454
00:16:02,594 --> 00:16:04,528
And none of that
"on demand" crap.
455
00:16:04,529 --> 00:16:08,298
Tonight I'm gonna fall asleep
in a real movie theater.
456
00:16:08,333 --> 00:16:10,768
Yeah, that's how we do it
in the Nine-Nine.
457
00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:12,136
We've got each others' backs.
458
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,203
Damn right.
459
00:16:13,204 --> 00:16:15,472
Charles, make your own point.
460
00:16:15,473 --> 00:16:16,907
Don't just pile onto mine.
461
00:16:16,908 --> 00:16:18,275
Gina, where have you been?
462
00:16:18,309 --> 00:16:19,576
You left your cell phone
on your desk,
463
00:16:19,577 --> 00:16:20,711
and I assumed you were dead.
464
00:16:20,745 --> 00:16:23,046
Mm, I would clearly be
buried with my phone.
465
00:16:23,081 --> 00:16:27,050
Sir, these guys already
digitized all my files for me.
466
00:16:27,051 --> 00:16:28,819
- Isn't that amazing?
- What?
467
00:16:28,853 --> 00:16:30,888
Why did you snatch up
Sergeant Jeffords' task?
468
00:16:30,922 --> 00:16:32,489
Because we're trying
to get him to stay.
469
00:16:32,490 --> 00:16:34,158
Well, that's not your job.
470
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:35,793
And Jeffords, you can
stay here and digitize
471
00:16:35,794 --> 00:16:38,228
2000 through 2005 inclusive.
472
00:16:38,229 --> 00:16:39,596
I expect it done
by the morning.
473
00:16:42,934 --> 00:16:43,967
Great.
474
00:16:43,968 --> 00:16:45,569
Now I have to re-cancel
on Sharon.
475
00:16:45,603 --> 00:16:48,672
If I worked at Copperhead,
I'd be home by now
476
00:16:48,673 --> 00:16:50,441
swimming in a pool
of gold coins,
477
00:16:50,442 --> 00:16:52,409
like my boy, Scrooge McDuck.
478
00:16:56,614 --> 00:16:57,981
Password?
479
00:16:58,016 --> 00:16:59,650
- Tropical.
- Mm-mm.
480
00:16:59,684 --> 00:17:01,718
That's an old password.
481
00:17:01,719 --> 00:17:02,786
It changes every night.
482
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:06,457
All right, fine.
Tropical one?
483
00:17:06,491 --> 00:17:07,925
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Augh!
484
00:17:07,959 --> 00:17:09,893
Ahh!
485
00:17:09,894 --> 00:17:12,463
Ha-ha.
Not cool, okay?
486
00:17:12,464 --> 00:17:14,898
Look, just ask Milo
the bartender, all right?
487
00:17:14,899 --> 00:17:17,034
He knows me.
Tell him Orange Soda is back.
488
00:17:17,035 --> 00:17:18,368
I don't know no Milo.
489
00:17:18,403 --> 00:17:20,938
The bartenders also change
their names every night.
490
00:17:20,972 --> 00:17:25,109
And get out of here until
you know the password, man.
491
00:17:25,143 --> 00:17:27,878
Damn it.
This place is so cool.
492
00:17:29,881 --> 00:17:30,880
Come on, strangers.
493
00:17:30,882 --> 00:17:33,183
Show me your lips.
494
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:34,585
There you go.
495
00:17:34,619 --> 00:17:36,053
Got it.
496
00:17:42,093 --> 00:17:43,861
Pepper.
497
00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:44,862
Pooper.
498
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:50,400
Popcorn.
499
00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:53,971
Plor-pa-pa.
500
00:17:53,972 --> 00:17:55,305
Plorp.
501
00:17:55,306 --> 00:17:56,306
Pa-aark.
502
00:17:56,307 --> 00:17:57,608
Parked.
503
00:17:57,609 --> 00:17:59,443
Okay.
504
00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:07,217
Yeah.
505
00:18:07,218 --> 00:18:10,387
Nooorse.
506
00:18:14,225 --> 00:18:15,325
Bull's-eye.
507
00:18:17,128 --> 00:18:20,264
Oh, no, the double tuck.
508
00:18:21,966 --> 00:18:24,134
Oh, hey.
509
00:18:24,135 --> 00:18:26,437
You wouldn't kick out a hopeless
romantic who's only here
510
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:27,738
in the name of love,
would you?
511
00:18:27,739 --> 00:18:29,740
Ooh, you would.
512
00:18:32,059 --> 00:18:33,927
Terry!
513
00:18:33,928 --> 00:18:35,595
So what happened at breakfast
with Gary?
514
00:18:35,596 --> 00:18:37,330
Are you leaving us
for Copperhead?
515
00:18:37,331 --> 00:18:39,999
Because I'm prepared to light
Charles on fire in protest.
516
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,434
Relax.
517
00:18:41,435 --> 00:18:44,237
I declined the offer,
told them I wasn't interested.
518
00:18:44,238 --> 00:18:45,238
Eat it, Gary.
519
00:18:45,239 --> 00:18:46,673
I gave him back all his swag,
520
00:18:46,674 --> 00:18:51,144
except the puffy vest,
which I, uh, lost.
521
00:18:58,352 --> 00:19:00,553
I'm staying
at the Nine-Nine!
522
00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:04,557
Great news, Sergeant.
523
00:19:04,558 --> 00:19:05,759
Really?
524
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,328
So you're done trying
to push him out, Yoko?
525
00:19:08,329 --> 00:19:11,064
Whoa, don't give
Captain Holt a hard time.
526
00:19:11,065 --> 00:19:12,432
He's the reason I'm staying.
527
00:19:12,433 --> 00:19:14,034
I don't know what
you're talking about.
528
00:19:14,035 --> 00:19:16,703
You're an adult, and you came
to your own decision.
529
00:19:16,704 --> 00:19:19,039
Look at me.
I can't keep a straight face.
530
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:20,974
I played you like a fiddle.
531
00:19:20,975 --> 00:19:22,175
Yeah, you did.
532
00:19:22,176 --> 00:19:24,177
Digitizing those old files
reminded me
533
00:19:24,178 --> 00:19:27,614
of all the cases I worked and
all the good we do in a community.
534
00:19:27,615 --> 00:19:30,650
What's best for my family
is that they grow up with a dad
535
00:19:30,651 --> 00:19:32,085
who's proud of what he does.
536
00:19:32,086 --> 00:19:33,653
Thank you, Captain.
537
00:19:33,654 --> 00:19:35,221
Look at you.
538
00:19:35,222 --> 00:19:39,225
You're like the wise old owl
from those lollipop commercials.
539
00:19:39,226 --> 00:19:40,827
Terry's back!
540
00:19:42,396 --> 00:19:44,364
Hey, buddy, sorry I'm late.
541
00:19:44,365 --> 00:19:46,333
I had to get this dumb medal
from the commissioner
542
00:19:46,334 --> 00:19:47,901
for a double-murder
I solved last year.
543
00:19:47,902 --> 00:19:48,902
Been there.
544
00:19:48,903 --> 00:19:50,503
I had a pretty crazy
morning myself.
545
00:19:50,504 --> 00:19:52,539
Jake, your taquitos exploded
in the toaster oven.
546
00:19:52,540 --> 00:19:54,774
Thanks, Rosa.
10-4. Copy that.
547
00:19:54,775 --> 00:19:56,209
So how did it go
with Santiago?
548
00:19:56,210 --> 00:19:57,644
Actually, she wasn't into it.
549
00:19:57,645 --> 00:19:58,645
Swing and a miss.
550
00:19:58,646 --> 00:19:59,645
You're kidding.
551
00:19:59,647 --> 00:20:00,814
Yeah, it was really weird.
552
00:20:00,815 --> 00:20:02,248
I've never been
turned down before,
553
00:20:02,249 --> 00:20:03,783
so unexpected.
554
00:20:03,784 --> 00:20:06,886
I'm excited to see
what happens to me next.
555
00:20:06,887 --> 00:20:07,887
Okay.
556
00:20:09,957 --> 00:20:12,492
So... Blotter Dynamite
struck out, huh?
557
00:20:12,493 --> 00:20:13,793
I know, but why?
558
00:20:13,794 --> 00:20:15,628
What does it mean,
and why did she double tuck?
559
00:20:15,629 --> 00:20:16,997
And how come she
turned him down?
560
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:18,131
Do you think it has
something to do with me?
561
00:20:18,132 --> 00:20:19,132
- Rosa, what is she thinking?
- Jake.
562
00:20:19,133 --> 00:20:20,433
Yeah,
I should ask her myself.
563
00:20:21,736 --> 00:20:23,737
Hey, you just missed Majors.
564
00:20:23,738 --> 00:20:25,672
I've got to say, he was looking
a little bit rough,
565
00:20:25,673 --> 00:20:28,274
almost like he was up all night
crying or something.
566
00:20:28,275 --> 00:20:29,409
Ha-ha, Jake.
567
00:20:29,410 --> 00:20:30,744
I'm sure he's fine.
568
00:20:30,745 --> 00:20:33,246
So...
what happened?
569
00:20:33,247 --> 00:20:34,914
Well, I thought
we were getting a drink
570
00:20:34,915 --> 00:20:36,149
to celebrate
closing the case.
571
00:20:36,150 --> 00:20:38,284
But apparently,
he thought it was a date.
572
00:20:38,285 --> 00:20:39,753
Right, and you were
not into that,
573
00:20:39,754 --> 00:20:42,422
because he's so muscular
and in command of his finances?
574
00:20:42,423 --> 00:20:46,126
He's great, but after everything
that happened with Teddy
575
00:20:46,127 --> 00:20:48,094
and all the cops I know
who go out and break up
576
00:20:48,095 --> 00:20:49,596
and then still have
to work together,
577
00:20:49,597 --> 00:20:51,031
it's just too messy.
578
00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:53,033
I don't date cops.
579
00:20:54,068 --> 00:20:55,535
Cool. Cool.
580
00:20:55,536 --> 00:20:57,604
Yeah, actually, that's funny.
I have the same rule.
581
00:20:57,605 --> 00:20:59,005
No more cops.
582
00:20:59,006 --> 00:21:01,141
From this point on,
it's strictly dating criminals.
583
00:21:01,142 --> 00:21:02,709
If you break up with them,
584
00:21:02,710 --> 00:21:04,311
you can always send them
to jail forever.
585
00:21:04,312 --> 00:21:05,979
Exactly, nice and clean.
586
00:21:05,980 --> 00:21:08,181
- Mm-hmm.
- So...
587
00:21:08,182 --> 00:21:10,183
Hey, I got an email
from the commissioner's office
588
00:21:10,184 --> 00:21:11,217
about our case.
589
00:21:11,218 --> 00:21:12,285
What did they say?
590
00:21:13,287 --> 00:21:16,189
Ahh!
Ahh. Ah-ha.
591
00:21:16,190 --> 00:21:17,290
You got me with my thing.
592
00:21:17,291 --> 00:21:18,291
- Mm-hmm.
- Great.
593
00:21:18,292 --> 00:21:19,326
Oh!
594
00:21:25,830 --> 00:21:29,903
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/