1
00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:06,466
No! No, no, no!
2
00:00:06,467 --> 00:00:08,802
You can't take her from me,
you bastard!
3
00:00:08,836 --> 00:00:10,103
Don't do this, Scully.
4
00:00:10,104 --> 00:00:11,972
You have to be strong
for her right now.
5
00:00:12,006 --> 00:00:13,373
What's going on?
6
00:00:13,374 --> 00:00:14,541
Unit's being replaced.
7
00:00:14,542 --> 00:00:15,776
Come on! No!
8
00:00:15,777 --> 00:00:16,877
That machine's been
here forever.
9
00:00:16,878 --> 00:00:18,278
It's basically part
of the force.
10
00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:19,646
Take Scully instead.
11
00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:22,315
Yes, please, take me
to the land of vending machines.
12
00:00:22,350 --> 00:00:24,551
Can we at least have five minutes
to say a proper good-bye?
13
00:00:24,585 --> 00:00:27,187
Whatever.
14
00:00:27,221 --> 00:00:28,789
Let me just start by saying
15
00:00:28,823 --> 00:00:31,591
that this machine is
the best restaurant in Brooklyn,
16
00:00:31,592 --> 00:00:33,026
and it always had a table
for me.
17
00:00:33,061 --> 00:00:35,062
I knew just where to punch it
to get free food.
18
00:00:35,063 --> 00:00:36,730
Now I have to go back
to punching Hitchcock.
19
00:00:36,764 --> 00:00:38,832
Look, she still has the bags
of baby carrots
20
00:00:38,833 --> 00:00:40,100
I requested they put in.
21
00:00:40,101 --> 00:00:41,701
They're black now,
but they're there.
22
00:00:41,736 --> 00:00:43,770
Good-bye, beautiful machine.
23
00:00:43,771 --> 00:00:46,273
Thank you for your service.
24
00:00:46,274 --> 00:00:48,909
Okay, squad salute.
25
00:00:51,913 --> 00:00:54,614
♪ ♪
26
00:00:54,615 --> 00:00:56,349
You can take her away now.
27
00:00:58,319 --> 00:01:00,754
Well, I think we handled that
with dignity.
28
00:01:03,291 --> 00:01:06,460
Free candy!
29
00:01:06,461 --> 00:01:10,211
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
30
00:01:10,212 --> 00:01:17,471
♪ ♪
31
00:01:27,148 --> 00:01:30,851
Okay, Nine-Nine, say
hello to Michael Augustine,
32
00:01:30,885 --> 00:01:33,120
Brooklyn's most prolific
identity thief.
33
00:01:33,154 --> 00:01:35,055
Last week, he walked
into a government building
34
00:01:35,056 --> 00:01:36,123
and stole a computer
containing
35
00:01:36,124 --> 00:01:38,125
over 100,000
social security numbers.
36
00:01:38,159 --> 00:01:39,860
My C.I. says
that tonight Augustine
37
00:01:39,861 --> 00:01:42,729
will be handing off the laptop
to a buyer from China,
38
00:01:42,730 --> 00:01:45,132
AKA the Land of Dragons.
39
00:01:45,166 --> 00:01:47,534
Make sure that phrase
is not in your official report.
40
00:01:47,535 --> 00:01:49,736
Okay, sorry,
The Country of Dragons.
41
00:01:49,771 --> 00:01:51,738
I want you and Santiago
to tail Augustine
42
00:01:51,739 --> 00:01:54,307
until he makes the drop, and then
arrest him and the buyer.
43
00:01:54,308 --> 00:01:56,810
Sounds good, although I could
probably just take Boyle.
44
00:01:56,811 --> 00:01:58,945
I know Amy has a ton of work,
so...
45
00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:00,447
- No, I don't.
- Really?
46
00:02:00,481 --> 00:02:02,582
I could have sworn
I overheard you telling Rosa,
47
00:02:02,583 --> 00:02:03,784
"Girlfriend, please.
48
00:02:03,785 --> 00:02:05,452
I got hella open cases."
49
00:02:05,453 --> 00:02:06,820
That's something
you think I'd say?
50
00:02:06,854 --> 00:02:08,088
Word for word.
51
00:02:08,089 --> 00:02:09,156
No diggity, no doubt.
52
00:02:09,190 --> 00:02:10,357
That's enough.
53
00:02:10,358 --> 00:02:12,392
Peralta and Santiago
will tail Augustine.
54
00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:15,228
Boyle and Diaz will join them
in a surveillance van
55
00:02:15,229 --> 00:02:16,663
unless you have a problem
with that.
56
00:02:16,664 --> 00:02:17,831
Sounds great.
57
00:02:17,832 --> 00:02:20,467
In the immortal words
of Amy Santiago,
58
00:02:20,468 --> 00:02:22,436
"Girlfriend, please."
59
00:02:23,972 --> 00:02:25,939
Hey, did I do something to you?
60
00:02:25,940 --> 00:02:27,374
Are you mad?
61
00:02:27,375 --> 00:02:29,476
Is this because I brushed
all the crumbs off your desk?
62
00:02:29,510 --> 00:02:31,678
What?
No, I don't care about that.
63
00:02:31,679 --> 00:02:33,347
- Do you know where they are?
- In the trash.
64
00:02:33,348 --> 00:02:34,781
All right,
if it's not that,
65
00:02:34,782 --> 00:02:36,616
then why are you trying
to keep me off this case?
66
00:02:36,617 --> 00:02:38,051
Oh, that.
67
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,321
All right, look, the reason
that I didn't want
68
00:02:41,322 --> 00:02:44,191
to work with you is...
should I do this in an accent
69
00:02:44,192 --> 00:02:46,460
so that I can undercut some of
the awkwardness I'm feeling?
70
00:02:46,494 --> 00:02:48,028
- No.
- Good call.
71
00:02:48,029 --> 00:02:51,131
Remember when you told me that
you didn't want to date cops?
72
00:02:51,165 --> 00:02:53,934
That really bummed me out, man.
73
00:02:53,968 --> 00:02:55,869
- Jamaican?
- Yeah, it was a bad choice.
74
00:02:55,870 --> 00:02:57,771
I'm much better at German.
75
00:02:57,772 --> 00:02:59,006
All right, fine.
76
00:02:59,007 --> 00:03:01,675
I was kind of thinking
about asking you out.
77
00:03:01,709 --> 00:03:04,111
Oh, okay.
78
00:03:04,112 --> 00:03:05,646
But I know that
that's not what you want,
79
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,180
and I totally get it.
80
00:03:07,181 --> 00:03:10,384
I think it just took me a while
to totally-totally get it,
81
00:03:10,385 --> 00:03:12,019
and now I totally get it.
82
00:03:12,053 --> 00:03:14,121
Jake, this is weird.
83
00:03:14,122 --> 00:03:15,689
The whole point of me
not dating cops
84
00:03:15,690 --> 00:03:17,324
is so it wouldn't be weird
at work.
85
00:03:17,358 --> 00:03:19,693
Okay, so let's just
make it not weird, right?
86
00:03:19,727 --> 00:03:22,029
This is a case; we work cases
together all the time,
87
00:03:22,030 --> 00:03:26,033
and we're really good at it, so,
you know, we're professionals.
88
00:03:26,067 --> 00:03:28,101
That's all I want,
for us to be professional.
89
00:03:28,102 --> 00:03:29,403
We're in agreement.
90
00:03:29,437 --> 00:03:33,006
It will be good and professional.
91
00:03:34,542 --> 00:03:36,944
Come in and shut the door.
92
00:03:36,945 --> 00:03:39,112
I have some news, which you
must promise to keep secret.
93
00:03:39,113 --> 00:03:41,248
Madeline Wuntch is making me
head of public relations
94
00:03:41,249 --> 00:03:42,783
for the NYPD.
95
00:03:42,784 --> 00:03:44,651
I'm being forced
out of the Nine-Nine.
96
00:03:44,686 --> 00:03:46,153
I don't wish to make
a big deal of it,
97
00:03:46,154 --> 00:03:48,755
so please limit your reactions
to one second; go.
98
00:03:48,756 --> 00:03:50,223
- What in the world?
- Are you kidding?
99
00:03:50,224 --> 00:03:51,224
That's plenty.
100
00:03:51,225 --> 00:03:52,426
You can't leave us.
101
00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:53,961
I'm not going anywhere.
102
00:03:53,962 --> 00:03:56,229
Madeline's not some
invincible succubus.
103
00:03:56,230 --> 00:03:58,665
She's a regular succubus,
and she can be defeated.
104
00:03:58,666 --> 00:04:00,934
We just need to find the letter.
105
00:04:00,969 --> 00:04:02,302
What letter?
106
00:04:02,303 --> 00:04:04,504
Before our current
police commissioner was hired,
107
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:07,274
a mutual friend told me Madeline
wrote a letter to the mayor
108
00:04:07,275 --> 00:04:09,009
telling him it was a mistake.
109
00:04:09,043 --> 00:04:14,214
She apparently called her
now-boss a "simpering buffoon".
110
00:04:14,249 --> 00:04:16,450
Amateur; always say
your insults to someone's face.
111
00:04:16,451 --> 00:04:17,851
No paper trail.
112
00:04:17,886 --> 00:04:20,921
A copy of that letter exists
in the mayor's archives.
113
00:04:20,922 --> 00:04:23,523
I can't go snooping around
without alerting Madeline,
114
00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:26,994
so it won't be easy,
and we don't have much time,
115
00:04:26,995 --> 00:04:30,497
but I need you
to find that letter.
116
00:04:30,498 --> 00:04:31,465
Are you with me?
117
00:04:31,499 --> 00:04:33,100
Oh, hell yeah.
118
00:04:33,134 --> 00:04:34,968
I'm turning my phone
into airplane mode.
119
00:04:35,003 --> 00:04:37,571
Oh, my God, she doesn't even
do that on airplanes.
120
00:04:37,605 --> 00:04:39,139
Rosa,
121
00:04:39,140 --> 00:04:41,708
I know you don't like anyone
wishing you a happy birthday,
122
00:04:41,709 --> 00:04:43,944
so crappy day to you.
123
00:04:43,978 --> 00:04:45,846
Still too much.
124
00:04:45,847 --> 00:04:47,481
I assume you're not doing
anything to celebrate tonight.
125
00:04:47,515 --> 00:04:49,049
Anyone over the age
of six celebrating
126
00:04:49,050 --> 00:04:50,584
a birthday should go to hell.
127
00:04:50,585 --> 00:04:53,453
So since you're free,
I need your help moving
128
00:04:53,454 --> 00:04:55,656
this old Ms. Pac-Man machine
I just bought.
129
00:04:55,690 --> 00:04:57,491
Why are you so obsessed
with that game?
130
00:04:57,525 --> 00:05:00,260
Because it's the sexiest
video game ever.
131
00:05:00,261 --> 00:05:02,329
She's insatiable, Rosa.
132
00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:04,398
Insatiable.
Insatiab...
133
00:05:04,432 --> 00:05:05,699
Stop saying "insatiable."
134
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:07,601
Anyway, I bought
this old machine from a bar,
135
00:05:07,602 --> 00:05:09,136
and I was hoping
you'd help me move it.
136
00:05:10,505 --> 00:05:13,273
- You want me to go to a bar?
- Mm-hmm.
137
00:05:13,274 --> 00:05:15,042
You are obviously trying
to get me
138
00:05:15,043 --> 00:05:16,176
to go to a surprise party.
139
00:05:16,177 --> 00:05:17,611
Did Marcus put you up to this?
140
00:05:17,645 --> 00:05:20,347
What?
No, that's crazy talking.
141
00:05:20,348 --> 00:05:22,182
We just need to be there
at exactly 9:45 p.m.
142
00:05:22,183 --> 00:05:23,684
and not a minute earlier.
143
00:05:23,718 --> 00:05:26,053
Also, there's a particular door
I want us to enter through.
144
00:05:31,125 --> 00:05:32,559
Why is he getting out here?
145
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,761
I thought your C.I. said the
drop was happening in a park.
146
00:05:34,762 --> 00:05:36,763
Maybe he's having dinner
with his sidepiece first.
147
00:05:36,798 --> 00:05:38,465
Augustine has the laptop
with him.
148
00:05:38,466 --> 00:05:39,933
We should just arrest him
right here.
149
00:05:39,934 --> 00:05:41,335
No, the buyer's
the bigger collar.
150
00:05:41,336 --> 00:05:43,337
We've got to follow him in
and wait for the handoff.
151
00:05:43,338 --> 00:05:44,805
Okay, if you're going in,
152
00:05:44,806 --> 00:05:47,241
I've heard this place has
an amazing bone marrow custard.
153
00:05:47,242 --> 00:05:49,176
Not that I've ever
had a bad one.
154
00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:50,878
No.
All right, let's go.
155
00:05:50,879 --> 00:05:52,312
No, wait, we look like cops.
156
00:05:52,313 --> 00:05:55,983
We're never gonna blend in
dressed like this.
157
00:05:55,984 --> 00:05:58,485
Okay, there, how's that?
158
00:05:58,520 --> 00:05:59,920
Uh, I don't know.
159
00:05:59,921 --> 00:06:02,155
All I see is clothes hanging off
of a genderless blob.
160
00:06:02,156 --> 00:06:04,358
You look fine.
Here, wear this.
161
00:06:04,359 --> 00:06:05,792
Jake, you need a jacket
or something.
162
00:06:05,827 --> 00:06:08,061
Well, Scully left
his sports coat back there.
163
00:06:08,062 --> 00:06:10,163
Oh, but it will never fit
Jake's athletic body.
164
00:06:10,164 --> 00:06:12,699
- Unless...
- No, I don't want to do that.
165
00:06:12,734 --> 00:06:14,334
- You have to.
- I'm not gonna do it.
166
00:06:14,369 --> 00:06:15,402
You're doing it.
167
00:06:15,436 --> 00:06:16,670
What?
What do you have to do?
168
00:06:16,671 --> 00:06:17,704
Don Johnson it.
169
00:06:17,739 --> 00:06:18,906
Don Johnson it!
170
00:06:21,943 --> 00:06:26,246
♪ ♪
171
00:06:26,281 --> 00:06:27,614
I look like an idiot.
172
00:06:27,615 --> 00:06:29,816
I didn't even have time
to lotion my forearms.
173
00:06:29,851 --> 00:06:32,252
It's so weird
wearing Rosa's jacket.
174
00:06:32,253 --> 00:06:33,987
There's a piece of barbed wire
in the pocket.
175
00:06:34,022 --> 00:06:35,355
Cool.
176
00:06:35,356 --> 00:06:37,724
All right, do you have a visual on...
the hostess stand?
177
00:06:37,759 --> 00:06:40,194
Hi.
Table for two, please.
178
00:06:40,228 --> 00:06:42,229
I'm so sorry.
There's nothing available.
179
00:06:42,263 --> 00:06:43,363
We're totally booked up.
180
00:06:43,398 --> 00:06:46,300
Oh, no, that's horrible.
181
00:06:46,301 --> 00:06:49,269
Tonight's a really important
night for us.
182
00:06:49,270 --> 00:06:51,038
Johnny and I just got engaged,
183
00:06:51,039 --> 00:06:53,720
and this is where
our first date was.
184
00:06:53,741 --> 00:06:56,910
Oh, yeah, it would mean
so much to Dora and me.
185
00:06:56,911 --> 00:06:58,378
I would have made a reservation,
186
00:06:58,379 --> 00:07:00,881
but I didn't know
if she was gonna say yes, so...
187
00:07:00,882 --> 00:07:04,885
Oh, I love how nervous you were,
you little goose.
188
00:07:04,886 --> 00:07:06,520
You are just so sweet
together.
189
00:07:06,521 --> 00:07:09,690
You know, I'm sure I can
find room for two young lovers.
190
00:07:09,691 --> 00:07:14,577
Yeah, we are lovers...
together... in beds.
191
00:07:14,578 --> 00:07:15,967
Okay.
192
00:07:17,244 --> 00:07:18,344
Thank you so much for waiting.
193
00:07:18,345 --> 00:07:20,146
- Your table is almost ready.
- Great.
194
00:07:20,147 --> 00:07:21,681
Sorry about springing
the engagement
195
00:07:21,682 --> 00:07:22,949
and romantic stuff on you.
196
00:07:22,983 --> 00:07:24,317
No, no, no.
That was great.
197
00:07:24,318 --> 00:07:26,152
I mean,
it's what got us in here.
198
00:07:26,153 --> 00:07:28,054
Cheek kiss was a bit much.
Very wet.
199
00:07:28,055 --> 00:07:29,455
Well, I don't know
what to tell you.
200
00:07:29,456 --> 00:07:30,923
Dora's sloppy.
201
00:07:30,924 --> 00:07:33,159
Okay,
and if you'll just follow me.
202
00:07:33,193 --> 00:07:35,294
Well, the honeymoon's over,
Dora.
203
00:07:35,295 --> 00:07:36,929
We're back
to being Jake and Amy,
204
00:07:36,930 --> 00:07:38,798
two normal cops working a job.
205
00:07:38,799 --> 00:07:39,966
All right,
there you go.
206
00:07:39,967 --> 00:07:41,234
Thanks.
207
00:07:41,235 --> 00:07:43,202
You're the couple
that just got engaged.
208
00:07:43,237 --> 00:07:48,407
That's us, Johnny and Dora,
a couple for sure.
209
00:07:51,311 --> 00:07:54,347
Okay, according to my sources
in the assistant community,
210
00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:58,217
the letter is right here
in the fourth-floor archives,
211
00:07:58,218 --> 00:08:00,286
cabinet J-13.
212
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:01,888
Nice job.
What's the plan?
213
00:08:01,889 --> 00:08:03,422
You sneak in
and get the letter.
214
00:08:03,423 --> 00:08:05,191
I'll distract the file clerk.
215
00:08:05,192 --> 00:08:07,727
Apparently, he's very
into bird watching,
216
00:08:07,728 --> 00:08:10,396
so talking to a woman
should blow his mind.
217
00:08:10,397 --> 00:08:14,534
And talking to this woman,
it could kill him.
218
00:08:14,568 --> 00:08:16,402
Here, can you look at this map
of a park
219
00:08:16,403 --> 00:08:18,704
and tell me
where them hot birds hang out?
220
00:08:18,739 --> 00:08:21,808
Well, you're gonna want to,
uh, avoid the, uh,
221
00:08:21,842 --> 00:08:24,811
great lawn, because
it's basically just grackles.
222
00:08:24,845 --> 00:08:26,746
- Ugh, grackles?
- Yeah.
223
00:08:26,780 --> 00:08:27,980
I hate grackles.
224
00:08:27,981 --> 00:08:29,348
They're the worst.
225
00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:32,885
Well, a lot of people think
grackles are just a common bird
226
00:08:32,886 --> 00:08:34,086
up here,
but you know what?
227
00:08:34,087 --> 00:08:36,155
On the West Coast
they don't get grackles.
228
00:08:36,190 --> 00:08:39,158
Can you give some more info
229
00:08:39,159 --> 00:08:41,427
for a novice bird watcher
such as myself?
230
00:08:41,462 --> 00:08:42,962
You have got to know
the difference
231
00:08:42,963 --> 00:08:44,363
between your water birds.
232
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:46,399
I mean, so many people
don't know the difference
233
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,535
between an anhinga and a snake
bird and a swamp hawk.
234
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:53,840
A lot of people don't know
they're all the same bird.
235
00:08:53,874 --> 00:08:55,541
Are those the ones
that sound like Rihanna
236
00:08:55,542 --> 00:08:57,043
kind of when they sing?
237
00:08:57,044 --> 00:08:58,911
I'm not familiar
with who that is.
238
00:08:58,946 --> 00:09:00,313
They're like, "Eh, eh."
239
00:09:00,314 --> 00:09:03,216
That sounds like that might be
a crested woodpecker.
240
00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:04,550
Or is it more like...
241
00:09:04,551 --> 00:09:06,953
Well,
that's a crested titmouse maybe?
242
00:09:06,987 --> 00:09:08,721
Oh, my God, that's it.
243
00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:11,757
Wayne, you are
a damn treasure trove.
244
00:09:13,293 --> 00:09:14,393
We got the letter.
245
00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:15,595
Well done.
246
00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:18,965
Now get me Madeline
and a bucket of water.
247
00:09:18,966 --> 00:09:21,400
It's time to melt a witch.
248
00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:22,769
Who else is going?
249
00:09:22,803 --> 00:09:25,738
Rosa, listen to me,
there is no party.
250
00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:27,373
Just get off my doughnut
already.
251
00:09:27,407 --> 00:09:28,975
Don't lie to me, Boyle,
252
00:09:28,976 --> 00:09:31,477
or you will be eating your bone
marrow custard through a straw.
253
00:09:31,512 --> 00:09:33,246
That's exactly how you're
supposed to eat bone marrow...
254
00:09:33,247 --> 00:09:34,514
- Charles!
- Ah!
255
00:09:34,515 --> 00:09:35,581
All right, there's a party.
256
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:36,816
I can't give you details.
257
00:09:36,850 --> 00:09:38,217
All I can say is I know you,
258
00:09:38,218 --> 00:09:39,585
and I know you'll have
a good time.
259
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,921
If you knew me, you'd know
I hate surprise parties,
260
00:09:41,922 --> 00:09:44,590
so clearly
you don't know me at all.
261
00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,826
What?
We're friends.
262
00:09:46,827 --> 00:09:49,362
I was building up to calling you
"Ro-ro" one of these days.
263
00:09:49,363 --> 00:09:50,763
That will never happen.
264
00:09:50,764 --> 00:09:52,465
In fact, you just lost "Rosa"
privileges.
265
00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:54,567
From now on, you can
call me "Diaz" or "Hey, you."
266
00:09:54,601 --> 00:09:56,169
Come on, Rosa.
267
00:09:56,203 --> 00:09:57,303
Come on, hey, you.
268
00:09:58,372 --> 00:10:01,074
Wow,
champagne and oysters.
269
00:10:01,075 --> 00:10:02,642
You really shouldn't have,
guys.
270
00:10:02,676 --> 00:10:04,510
Well, it's a special night.
271
00:10:04,511 --> 00:10:05,611
So when did you guys meet?
272
00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:07,547
- Last year.
- Five years ago.
273
00:10:07,548 --> 00:10:10,283
We first met five years ago,
274
00:10:10,284 --> 00:10:11,784
but we don't count it,
because...
275
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:14,454
I was dating a speedboat model
at the time.
276
00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:17,123
And I was dating
a super handsome comptroller
277
00:10:17,124 --> 00:10:18,658
of a major U.S. city.
278
00:10:18,692 --> 00:10:21,060
Anyways, about a year ago, we
bumped into each other at a bar,
279
00:10:21,061 --> 00:10:23,930
and we haven't been able to keep
our hands off each other since.
280
00:10:23,964 --> 00:10:24,964
Mm.
281
00:10:24,965 --> 00:10:27,533
So how did you know
she was the one?
282
00:10:27,568 --> 00:10:28,868
I'd love to answer that.
283
00:10:28,902 --> 00:10:34,273
Um, you know, just whenever
I look at her face
284
00:10:34,308 --> 00:10:37,643
and the attached physique.
285
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:39,112
And you?
286
00:10:39,113 --> 00:10:40,713
Uh...
287
00:10:42,883 --> 00:10:45,218
He makes me laugh.
288
00:10:45,252 --> 00:10:48,654
And, you know, there's really
no one else's opinion
289
00:10:48,655 --> 00:10:50,556
who I care about
more than hers, so...
290
00:10:52,326 --> 00:10:54,761
Okay, so enough chitchat
Let's see the ring.
291
00:10:56,029 --> 00:10:58,030
I don't have it on me.
292
00:10:58,065 --> 00:11:00,666
She has gigantic fingers.
293
00:11:02,236 --> 00:11:04,437
What I mean to say
is that the ring I got
294
00:11:04,438 --> 00:11:06,372
would never have fit
on her fingers,
295
00:11:06,373 --> 00:11:10,043
because they are that
of a giant, behemoth person.
296
00:11:16,116 --> 00:11:17,517
Madeline,
thank you for coming.
297
00:11:17,518 --> 00:11:19,852
Raymond, always a pleasure
to call on a vanquished foe.
298
00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:21,454
I feel like
Jackie Joyner-Kersee
299
00:11:21,488 --> 00:11:23,523
congratulating one
of the other slower runners.
300
00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:24,524
Buckle up.
301
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,192
It's gonna be
a hell of a ride.
302
00:11:26,193 --> 00:11:27,393
Care to sit?
303
00:11:27,394 --> 00:11:28,394
I'm sure
you'd like to take some weight
304
00:11:28,395 --> 00:11:29,696
off your cloven hooves.
305
00:11:29,697 --> 00:11:30,830
Calling me the devil?
306
00:11:30,831 --> 00:11:31,998
How original, Raymond.
307
00:11:32,032 --> 00:11:34,567
Actually I was calling
you a goat, you goat.
308
00:11:34,601 --> 00:11:37,403
Oh.
309
00:11:37,438 --> 00:11:39,072
I'd like to talk
about my promotion.
310
00:11:39,106 --> 00:11:40,339
Very well, but first,
311
00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:42,508
how do I know
you're not wearing a wire?
312
00:11:42,509 --> 00:11:43,643
I need to pat you down.
313
00:11:44,778 --> 00:11:45,812
If you must.
314
00:11:54,288 --> 00:11:56,756
What is going on?
315
00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:58,858
Shh.
I'm watching something.
316
00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:00,860
Can you get the car
from the valet, babe?
317
00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:03,096
I'm gonna in the back
and say hi to the chef.
318
00:12:06,233 --> 00:12:07,533
Good luck
on your wedding, guys.
319
00:12:07,534 --> 00:12:10,036
Oh, have fun
on your honeymoon.
320
00:12:10,070 --> 00:12:12,372
We will.
We're going to Waco, Texas.
321
00:12:12,406 --> 00:12:15,375
Huh.
Okay, bye.
322
00:12:15,376 --> 00:12:16,943
Bye.
323
00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:18,077
- Waco, Texas?
- I don't know.
324
00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:19,545
It was just on Dateline.
325
00:12:19,546 --> 00:12:21,514
All right, well, Augustine took
the laptop case with him.
326
00:12:21,515 --> 00:12:23,182
He's gonna make the drop.
Let's go.
327
00:12:24,585 --> 00:12:26,853
Look, there's the buyer.
328
00:12:26,854 --> 00:12:29,422
Or maybe he's just actually
saying hi to the chef?
329
00:12:29,456 --> 00:12:30,990
Why isn't he making
the handoff?
330
00:12:30,991 --> 00:12:32,225
Oh, crap, he saw us.
331
00:12:32,259 --> 00:12:34,627
Uh,...
332
00:12:37,097 --> 00:12:38,264
Excuse me.
333
00:12:38,265 --> 00:12:39,399
Oh, hey.
334
00:12:39,433 --> 00:12:42,435
We were just looking
for a place to, uh...
335
00:12:42,436 --> 00:12:43,803
Boink.
336
00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:45,505
Yep. Boink.
337
00:12:45,506 --> 00:12:48,107
That's my preferred term
for it as well.
338
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,142
I get it.
339
00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:51,444
Newly engaged kids.
Enjoy.
340
00:12:51,478 --> 00:12:53,846
Thanks.
341
00:12:56,116 --> 00:12:57,283
Good. Good, good, good, good.
342
00:12:57,284 --> 00:12:58,351
We kept our cover intact.
Ce work.
343
00:12:58,385 --> 00:12:59,619
Quick, professional thinking
out there.
344
00:12:59,620 --> 00:13:01,020
Very quick
Very professional.
345
00:13:01,055 --> 00:13:02,622
- Detective.
- Detective.
346
00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:04,691
- Let's get back on the case.
- Yes.
347
00:13:10,739 --> 00:13:11,939
So how was the restaurant?
348
00:13:11,940 --> 00:13:13,474
Such a normal time!
349
00:13:13,508 --> 00:13:15,809
Why are you being weird?
350
00:13:15,810 --> 00:13:16,844
Amy and I kissed.
351
00:13:16,878 --> 00:13:18,445
What?
352
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:21,014
To keep our cover from being
blown; we didn't have a choice.
353
00:13:21,049 --> 00:13:22,916
Tell me everything!
354
00:13:22,917 --> 00:13:25,285
Charles, it was just a kiss,
okay?
355
00:13:25,286 --> 00:13:26,820
It was for work.
It was nothing.
356
00:13:26,855 --> 00:13:28,389
Yeah, who cares about a kiss?
357
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:30,057
Call me if you grab
each other's asses.
358
00:13:30,058 --> 00:13:31,458
He's pulling over.
It's going down.
359
00:13:31,493 --> 00:13:33,327
You guys are so naive.
360
00:13:33,328 --> 00:13:34,528
It's never nothing.
361
00:13:34,562 --> 00:13:36,864
In high school, I played
Daddy Warbucks in Annie,
362
00:13:36,898 --> 00:13:38,732
Becca Murse played Annie,
363
00:13:38,733 --> 00:13:40,367
and we were supposed
to hug onstage.
364
00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:42,603
And at first,
that seemed like nothing too,
365
00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:45,806
but by opening night,
we were full-on making out.
366
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:46,974
As Daddy Warbucks and Annie?
367
00:13:46,975 --> 00:13:48,008
Mm-hmm.
368
00:13:48,042 --> 00:13:49,710
The audience was not on board.
369
00:13:49,711 --> 00:13:51,011
Playwright sued the school.
370
00:13:51,012 --> 00:13:52,579
Guys, guys,
it's not a handoff.
371
00:13:52,580 --> 00:13:53,680
He's leaving the package.
372
00:13:56,918 --> 00:13:58,752
Okay, you and Rosa
follow Augustine.
373
00:13:58,787 --> 00:14:00,687
Right, and you and Amy
follow your hearts.
374
00:14:00,722 --> 00:14:02,423
No, we're gonna stay
with the package.
375
00:14:02,457 --> 00:14:03,657
And each other forever.
376
00:14:03,658 --> 00:14:05,092
Come on, man!
377
00:14:05,126 --> 00:14:07,227
So here's how I see this
going down.
378
00:14:07,262 --> 00:14:08,796
You plead for your job back.
I refuse.
379
00:14:08,797 --> 00:14:10,197
You start weeping
like a war widow.
380
00:14:10,198 --> 00:14:11,432
Does that sound about right?
381
00:14:11,466 --> 00:14:14,601
Don't count
your gross fish babies
382
00:14:14,602 --> 00:14:17,538
before they've hatched,
Madeline.
383
00:14:22,677 --> 00:14:23,844
How did you get this?
384
00:14:23,878 --> 00:14:25,779
Gina and Terry got it,
you grackle.
385
00:14:25,780 --> 00:14:27,581
It doesn't matter
how I got it.
386
00:14:27,615 --> 00:14:30,951
Sorry, sir, didn't realize that
was how you wanted to play it.
387
00:14:30,985 --> 00:14:33,721
I see you've got an audience
for this little stunt?
388
00:14:33,755 --> 00:14:36,557
Yes, well, who wouldn't want
to see a man fight a crocodile?
389
00:14:36,591 --> 00:14:41,161
Now, Madeline, before one of us
starts weeping like a war widow,
390
00:14:41,162 --> 00:14:42,996
would you like to give me
my precinct back?
391
00:14:43,031 --> 00:14:45,775
It's not that simple; I can't
just reverse your promotion.
392
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:50,537
You have until tomorrow,
you grackle.
393
00:14:50,572 --> 00:14:52,940
We can't pull him over
this close to the drop site.
394
00:14:52,941 --> 00:14:54,975
It'll alert the buyer.
I say we follow him for a mile.
395
00:14:54,976 --> 00:14:56,276
Copy that.
396
00:14:56,277 --> 00:14:57,678
How's your mom enjoying
the new phone you got her
397
00:14:57,679 --> 00:14:59,246
for her birthday
on March 16th?
398
00:14:59,247 --> 00:15:02,049
Dude, stop saying random facts
to try to prove you know me.
399
00:15:02,083 --> 00:15:03,484
That's not what I'm doing.
400
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:05,052
I'm simply making small talk
with my friend Rosa,
401
00:15:05,053 --> 00:15:06,086
who went skydiving once.
402
00:15:06,087 --> 00:15:07,287
Enough!
403
00:15:07,322 --> 00:15:09,089
I'm going to the dumb party
but only because
404
00:15:09,090 --> 00:15:10,257
I don't want to hurt Marcus.
405
00:15:10,258 --> 00:15:11,692
I'm still super mad at you.
406
00:15:11,726 --> 00:15:13,560
Mm, like how you're still
super mad at Gilmore Girls
407
00:15:13,561 --> 00:15:14,895
for how the finale went down?
408
00:15:14,929 --> 00:15:18,565
Oh, I just want to see
Lorelai happy, and shut up!
409
00:15:18,566 --> 00:15:22,336
Ah, see? I knew you so well,
I knew it was co... ah!
410
00:15:28,043 --> 00:15:29,643
Hey, seriously,
we're cool, right?
411
00:15:29,677 --> 00:15:31,178
Yeah, totally.
412
00:15:31,179 --> 00:15:33,080
- We're fine.
- Good.
413
00:15:33,081 --> 00:15:34,481
Gosh, you know, I'm actually
a little bit hungry.
414
00:15:34,482 --> 00:15:36,817
I never ended up eating
at that dumb fancy restaurant.
415
00:15:36,818 --> 00:15:38,385
You know what I'm getting
on my way home?
416
00:15:38,386 --> 00:15:39,753
Yeah, you're gonna
go to the Polish place
417
00:15:39,754 --> 00:15:41,188
and get perogies,
potato pancakes,
418
00:15:41,189 --> 00:15:42,289
and a cup of hot chocolate.
419
00:15:42,323 --> 00:15:44,124
That's exactly
what I'm gonna get.
420
00:15:44,125 --> 00:15:45,225
Yeah.
421
00:15:45,226 --> 00:15:46,627
I will be having pizza,
422
00:15:46,661 --> 00:15:48,862
two slices
of meat supreme from Tony's,
423
00:15:48,863 --> 00:15:50,597
served display temperature.
424
00:15:50,598 --> 00:15:52,433
Meat supreme
is a million red flags,
425
00:15:52,434 --> 00:15:53,967
and eating it cold
is just insane.
426
00:15:53,968 --> 00:15:55,202
No, no, no.
It's not cold.
427
00:15:55,236 --> 00:15:56,670
- It's display temperature.
- Jake.
428
00:15:56,671 --> 00:15:58,105
There's a difference, Amy.
429
00:15:58,139 --> 00:16:00,140
No, Jake, he's looking at us.
430
00:16:00,175 --> 00:16:02,343
- Well, this is happening.
- Huh?
431
00:16:09,184 --> 00:16:11,552
NYPD! Freeze!
We are police colleagues!
432
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,863
You're under arrest.
This is a work event.
433
00:16:16,038 --> 00:16:18,507
Hey, can you sign
this arrest report
434
00:16:18,508 --> 00:16:19,741
for Augustine
and the buyer?
435
00:16:19,742 --> 00:16:21,076
Sure.
436
00:16:21,077 --> 00:16:22,611
Great.
437
00:16:23,813 --> 00:16:25,781
Man, I forgot how long
your signature takes.
438
00:16:25,782 --> 00:16:28,016
I'm just gonna watch Braveheart
on my phone real quick.
439
00:16:29,452 --> 00:16:31,520
Given the circumstances,
440
00:16:31,521 --> 00:16:33,655
I could see how
that might have seemed like
441
00:16:33,656 --> 00:16:35,056
flirty teasing
or something,
442
00:16:35,091 --> 00:16:37,426
but I was legit
being critical.
443
00:16:37,427 --> 00:16:38,493
You have a problem.
444
00:16:38,528 --> 00:16:41,663
No, even that sounded
like banter now.
445
00:16:41,664 --> 00:16:43,598
All right, there's only one way
out of this for me.
446
00:16:43,599 --> 00:16:45,066
I just got to get super cruel.
447
00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:47,202
Prepare to have your physical
flaws pointed out, Amy.
448
00:16:47,203 --> 00:16:49,871
I'm talking about your tall butt
and your weird elbows.
449
00:16:49,906 --> 00:16:51,440
Jake, it's okay.
450
00:16:51,474 --> 00:16:53,308
Thank you.
451
00:16:53,342 --> 00:16:55,110
This whole night
was really weird.
452
00:16:55,144 --> 00:16:56,144
I know.
453
00:16:56,145 --> 00:16:57,579
I just... ugh.
454
00:16:57,580 --> 00:16:59,781
I want everything
to go back how it was, you know?
455
00:16:59,782 --> 00:17:00,782
It's so awkward.
456
00:17:00,817 --> 00:17:02,484
- Yeah.
- And you're right.
457
00:17:02,485 --> 00:17:05,320
We shouldn't date cops,
'cause we're a great team.
458
00:17:05,321 --> 00:17:06,955
We work great together.
459
00:17:06,956 --> 00:17:08,190
I don't want to mess that up.
460
00:17:08,191 --> 00:17:09,958
Yeah, I don't want
everything to change.
461
00:17:09,992 --> 00:17:11,126
Yeah, me neither.
462
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,896
Okay, then that's that,
Detective Peralta.
463
00:17:14,931 --> 00:17:17,265
Detective Santiago.
464
00:17:17,266 --> 00:17:19,701
See you around the precinct.
465
00:17:19,736 --> 00:17:21,169
Yep.
466
00:17:21,204 --> 00:17:23,205
Tall butt.
467
00:17:23,239 --> 00:17:25,507
Okay, before we go in,
468
00:17:25,541 --> 00:17:27,843
remember you have to pretend
to be surprised.
469
00:17:27,877 --> 00:17:29,978
How's this?
Oh, my God.
470
00:17:29,979 --> 00:17:32,748
It's so much worse
than I imagined.
471
00:17:32,782 --> 00:17:34,816
The energy was great,
but the message was flawed.
472
00:17:34,851 --> 00:17:36,952
All right,
let's get this over with.
473
00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:40,088
Surprise.
474
00:17:40,089 --> 00:17:41,356
What's going on?
475
00:17:41,391 --> 00:17:43,392
I rented this entire bar
476
00:17:43,393 --> 00:17:46,895
so you and I could celebrate
with no people anywhere near us.
477
00:17:46,929 --> 00:17:48,930
I probably should have
hired a bartender, though.
478
00:17:48,931 --> 00:17:50,265
I have no idea
how to make drinks.
479
00:17:50,299 --> 00:17:51,400
This is incredible.
480
00:17:51,434 --> 00:17:53,301
It was all Charles' idea.
481
00:17:54,670 --> 00:17:55,837
I told you I knew you,
Ro-ro.
482
00:17:55,872 --> 00:17:59,241
Thank you.
483
00:17:59,242 --> 00:18:01,343
But never call me "Ro-ro" again.
484
00:18:01,377 --> 00:18:02,511
Oh, but I will.
485
00:18:02,512 --> 00:18:04,079
I've earned this.
486
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,748
Happy b-day,
Ro-ro.
487
00:18:06,749 --> 00:18:08,450
Whoo!
488
00:18:11,487 --> 00:18:13,488
Welcome, Madeline.
Have you thought things over?
489
00:18:13,489 --> 00:18:16,892
I have, but first, how do I
know you're not wearing a wire?
490
00:18:28,075 --> 00:18:31,518
So I've thought it over,
and perhaps you should go ahead
491
00:18:31,519 --> 00:18:33,575
and show that letter to the
commissioner.
492
00:18:33,576 --> 00:18:35,110
And let him fire you?
493
00:18:35,111 --> 00:18:36,411
I'll deny I wrote it.
494
00:18:36,412 --> 00:18:38,246
It will take months
to authenticate,
495
00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:39,548
which will give me
plenty of time
496
00:18:39,549 --> 00:18:41,717
to make some personnel changes
around here.
497
00:18:41,751 --> 00:18:45,053
There's an opening for a detective
down in Brighton Beach.
498
00:18:45,088 --> 00:18:46,988
I think I'll transfer Diaz
there.
499
00:18:47,023 --> 00:18:49,758
Detective Boyle I'll send
to Long Island City.
500
00:18:49,792 --> 00:18:52,594
Santiago will be a great fit
for Pelham Bay.
501
00:18:52,628 --> 00:18:57,132
And Peralta,
your little pet project,
502
00:18:57,133 --> 00:19:00,335
I'm gonna ship him off
to Staten Island.
503
00:19:00,336 --> 00:19:05,707
Hope he likes breaking up
tanning salon fistfights.
504
00:19:05,708 --> 00:19:09,244
Looks like you've got a decision
to make, Raymond.
505
00:19:09,245 --> 00:19:11,013
What are you gonna do?
506
00:19:11,047 --> 00:19:14,116
Squad, if I could have
your attention please?
507
00:19:15,885 --> 00:19:18,286
I am being transferred
to the public relations office.
508
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:20,322
I'm leaving the Nine-Nine
effective immediately.
509
00:19:20,323 --> 00:19:22,491
- What the hell?
- I don't understand.
510
00:19:22,525 --> 00:19:24,259
- What the hell?
- Why are you doing this?
511
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:25,494
What the hell?
512
00:19:25,495 --> 00:19:27,396
I want to say
it has been a pleasure
513
00:19:27,397 --> 00:19:31,066
to have worked alongside all of
you for the past 21 1/2 months.
514
00:19:31,067 --> 00:19:33,001
I'm sorry
for getting so emotional.
515
00:19:33,036 --> 00:19:34,469
A pretty consistent tone,
actually.
516
00:19:34,504 --> 00:19:37,839
These have been the...
517
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,942
these have been the best years
of my career.
518
00:19:40,977 --> 00:19:42,377
Oh, no.
This is new.
519
00:19:42,378 --> 00:19:51,720
And I know that everyone of you
gave me everything you had,
520
00:19:51,721 --> 00:19:53,088
and I will never forget it.
521
00:19:53,089 --> 00:19:54,656
Go back to being robot captain.
522
00:19:54,691 --> 00:19:57,993
Meep-morp.
523
00:19:57,994 --> 00:19:59,494
Zeet.
524
00:19:59,495 --> 00:20:02,097
Dismissed.
525
00:20:08,404 --> 00:20:11,173
Sir!
526
00:20:11,174 --> 00:20:12,407
I'm coming with you.
527
00:20:12,442 --> 00:20:14,409
- Thank you, Gina.
- I'm also coming.
528
00:20:14,444 --> 00:20:16,211
Not necessary.
529
00:20:19,716 --> 00:20:21,450
- Hey.
- Hey.
530
00:20:21,451 --> 00:20:22,818
Thought I might find you
in here.
531
00:20:22,852 --> 00:20:25,153
I just needed to process
the captain's news.
532
00:20:25,188 --> 00:20:26,421
I feel so bad for him.
533
00:20:26,456 --> 00:20:27,756
So how are you holding up?
534
00:20:29,192 --> 00:20:31,193
I don't know.
I'm still in shock.
535
00:20:31,227 --> 00:20:33,028
You?
536
00:20:33,029 --> 00:20:35,864
Um, basically handling it the
way I dealt with my dad leaving,
537
00:20:35,865 --> 00:20:38,066
just repressing the hell
out of it.
538
00:20:41,371 --> 00:20:43,405
So a lot of change
around here, huh?
539
00:20:55,318 --> 00:20:57,486
Hey, Jake,
the new captain's here.
540
00:21:03,626 --> 00:21:04,993
Who do you think
it's gonna be?
541
00:21:04,994 --> 00:21:06,395
I have no idea.
542
00:21:06,396 --> 00:21:08,163
I bet it's me.
543
00:21:08,164 --> 00:21:10,132
I just hope I'm ready.
544
00:21:10,133 --> 00:21:11,266
Wow.
545
00:21:11,267 --> 00:21:12,634
Come on, guys.
546
00:21:12,635 --> 00:21:14,169
I know you're sad,
547
00:21:14,170 --> 00:21:16,605
but let's do our best to make
a good first impression here.
548
00:21:16,606 --> 00:21:17,606
Smart. Good call.
549
00:21:17,607 --> 00:21:20,676
Jake, you be up front.
550
00:21:22,512 --> 00:21:25,594
Okay, here we go.
551
00:21:25,595 --> 00:21:29,020
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/