1
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Halloween. Mua-ha-ha-ha.
2
00:00:10,107 --> 00:00:13,042
It's heist time.
3
00:00:13,043 --> 00:00:14,644
- Dah!
- Thought you could get
4
00:00:14,645 --> 00:00:16,246
a head start on heist prep? Good luck.
5
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I'm already dressed.
6
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Well... I'm also dressed,
7
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and I made breakfast.
8
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- Wait, where are my eggs?
- In my belly.
9
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Now get a move on.
10
00:00:27,224 --> 00:00:28,591
It's heist time.
11
00:00:28,592 --> 00:00:30,426
I love Halloween!
12
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- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
13
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Some of you have asked me
what got me through prison.
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Was it my family? Don't be stupid.
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Was it knowing that my friends
would eventually get me out?
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Of course not, I never
believed in any of you.
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No, the only thing that kept me sane
18
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was planning for the Halloween heist
19
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those many years doing hard time.
20
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- It was eight weeks.
- I also went to prison, dog.
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- We're getting off track here.
- No, we're not, dog.
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Peralta's just trying to
play the sympathy card
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so we all go easy on him.
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I'd rather send you back to prison
25
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- than see you win.
- Okay.
26
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This year, we compete for
the most elegant and regal
27
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of all prizes...
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A championship cummerbund.
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Or belt, as normal people call it.
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Belt... I'd like to
see the pair of slacks
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whose loops are large
enough for this belt.
32
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No, it is a cummerbund.
33
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- Well, whatever it is...
- Cummerbund.
34
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It's inscribed with the words,
"Amazing human/genius."
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The objective is to have it in
your possession at midnight.
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This year, the competition
is not limited
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- to winners of the past heists.
- That's right.
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Any man, or woman...
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#Resist... can enter.
40
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- It's open to everyone.
- Ooh, every man for himself.
41
00:01:45,769 --> 00:01:47,450
It's like "Bachelor in Paradise."
42
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It's really cool that you
guys opened it up to anyone.
43
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Thanks. Yeah, we talked about it,
44
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and we just felt like it was only fair.
45
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I was being sarcastic. You all suck,
46
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and I hope Jake goes back to jail.
47
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Oh, cool, I'm glad everyone feels
comfortable joking about that.
48
00:01:57,817 --> 00:01:59,372
- Not joking.
- Insult me all you want,
49
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for I have only this to say...
50
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Victory shall be mine!
51
00:02:02,608 --> 00:02:05,373
I heard you practicing in the shower.
You can't surprise me.
52
00:02:05,379 --> 00:02:07,865
Letting me into your life was
the worst mistake you ever made.
53
00:02:07,871 --> 00:02:09,494
Cool, fun take on our relationship.
54
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Well, I for one thing you're
perfect for each other...
55
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Feel like there's gonna be more.
56
00:02:12,631 --> 00:02:14,536
- Because you're both losers.
- There it is.
57
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None of you stand a chance against me.
No courage, no patience,
58
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no brains,
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and, of course, a bald old man.
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I'm younger than you.
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No comeback for the bald thing, I see.
62
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Yeah, I'm not doing the heist. I'm out.
63
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Okay.
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- Bull crap.
- Yeah, right.
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Just like you were out last year.
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- I was out last year.
- As a setup for this year.
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You're good, Jeffords,
but not good enough.
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In fact, you're an idiot.
I should've fired you long ago.
69
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- What?
- Relax, Terry, chill out.
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Get your undies out of your buns.
71
00:02:41,325 --> 00:02:43,393
Now, if everyone would rise.
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Rise like the army of the dead,
73
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and follow me into the
bullpen of destiny.
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00:02:49,566 --> 00:02:51,234
This heist,
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the belt will not be
locked up or hidden away.
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It will be suspended from
the ceiling in plain sight
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- for all to see.
- How poetic.
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It will hang just out of reach,
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like Tantalus's fruit.
80
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Yes, that's where I got
the inspiration from,
81
00:03:03,180 --> 00:03:06,182
Greek mythology, not an episode
of the Nickelodeon show "Guts."
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00:03:06,183 --> 00:03:07,823
Amy, will you please do the honors?
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Mm-hmm.
84
00:03:11,822 --> 00:03:14,666
- The belt is in place.
- Whoever has it at midnight
85
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will be declared the...
86
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What's going on?
87
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- What's happening?
- I can't see!
88
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Everybody just grab something random.
89
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Back off, Hitchcock.
90
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Silence!
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It's gone. The cummerbund is gone!
92
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Who took it? We're all here.
Where'd it go?
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Nowhere. It's still in this room.
94
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In fact, it's right here!
95
00:03:34,178 --> 00:03:35,912
Nope, it's just your tum-tum.
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I don't have the cummerbund,
because it's right here!
97
00:03:39,883 --> 00:03:43,186
Or is it right here?
98
00:03:43,187 --> 00:03:44,620
Everybody stop undressing.
99
00:03:44,621 --> 00:03:46,255
We just had harassment training.
100
00:03:46,256 --> 00:03:49,192
Hey... over here, losers.
101
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This is Gina Linetti.
102
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You really thought you
could do this without me?
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I'm the defending champion.
104
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Gina... I should have known
it was you, you punk.
105
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Yeah, you punk,
106
00:03:58,869 --> 00:04:00,745
why aren't you showing
your face, you punk?
107
00:04:00,751 --> 00:04:02,105
Yeah, I just had a baby.
108
00:04:02,106 --> 00:04:03,964
I haven't washed my hair in three weeks.
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Oh, how is she?
110
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- Yeah, how's she doing?
- None of your business.
111
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Now, if you wanna find the belt,
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you're gonna have to work for it.
113
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Behind my desk are boxes of baby stuff
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that I didn't wanna assemble.
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You get a clue for each
item you put together.
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Linetti, Lin-out-ti.
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This is crazy.
118
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I mean, no one is actually gonna
do Gina's dumb chores, right?
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Right, absolutely not.
120
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It's completely ridiculous.
121
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I got the reach-and-play!
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You can all suck it!
123
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- They fell for it.
- Hook, line, and sphincter.
124
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- It's sinker.
- No, it's sphincter.
125
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That's where you put the
hook in when you're eeling.
126
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Well, I never use that expression again.
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- Hey, guys.
- Ah.
128
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- And right on time, here's Bill.
- Welcome.
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Man, it is amazing how
similar you guys look.
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- I don't see it.
- Me neither.
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- Not even a little.
- Not at all.
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Twins. So, did you have any issues
133
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- getting into the vents?
- Went like clockwork.
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Sir, only authorized personnel
are allowed up here.
135
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Oh, Detective Boyle,
didn't see it was you.
136
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Get better eyes, you moron.
137
00:05:10,193 --> 00:05:12,628
Ah, man, I'm friends with Officer Lou.
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Not anymore. He was very upset.
139
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Anyway, once I got in the vents,
it was smooth sailing.
140
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The belt is in place.
141
00:05:18,635 --> 00:05:21,111
Whoever has it at midnight
will be declared the winner
142
00:05:21,118 --> 00:05:23,012
of the fifth annual...
143
00:05:23,019 --> 00:05:24,510
- What's going on?
- What's happening?
144
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I can't see! Everyone just
grab something randomly.
145
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Back off, Hitchcock.
146
00:05:32,382 --> 00:05:34,350
Hey, over here, losers.
147
00:05:34,351 --> 00:05:36,552
I gotta say, Bill,
your Gina impression was spot-on.
148
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:37,752
I'm very good at roleplay,
149
00:05:37,758 --> 00:05:39,499
and I'm super comfortable wearing masks.
150
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Right, I forgot you were
maybe a male prostitute.
151
00:05:41,452 --> 00:05:42,859
I was definitely a male prostitute,
152
00:05:42,866 --> 00:05:44,360
but I don't do that profession anymore.
153
00:05:44,361 --> 00:05:46,062
Now I sell vitamin supplements.
154
00:05:46,063 --> 00:05:48,331
I made $90,000 this year alone,
155
00:05:48,332 --> 00:05:50,232
working out of the
comfort of my own home.
156
00:05:50,233 --> 00:05:51,334
- Uh-huh?
- How did I do it?
157
00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:52,545
- NutriBoom.
- Right.
158
00:05:52,551 --> 00:05:54,166
And the good news is, you can do it too.
159
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Okay, this is clearly a pyramid
scheme. We're not interested.
160
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Okay, your loss.
161
00:05:58,008 --> 00:05:59,942
- Here's the belt...
- Ah...
162
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- she's a beauty.
- Hi-yah!
163
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:04,012
Ow! Charles, what are you doing?
164
00:06:04,018 --> 00:06:06,001
The hardest thing I've
EVER DONE: betraying you.
165
00:06:06,007 --> 00:06:07,483
Bill, the belt.
166
00:06:07,484 --> 00:06:08,959
- Bill, you're in on this too?
- Yep.
167
00:06:08,965 --> 00:06:10,779
Charles promised he'd
buy a ton of supplements
168
00:06:10,785 --> 00:06:12,553
and become one of my
downstream distributors.
169
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,295
No, look, listen to me,
don't do this, okay?
170
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I really need to win this year.
I'm begging you.
171
00:06:16,379 --> 00:06:18,522
Those baby browns aren't
gonna work on me, not today.
172
00:06:18,528 --> 00:06:19,627
This is crazy.
173
00:06:19,634 --> 00:06:21,530
You're never gonna get out of
here with that belt on your own.
174
00:06:21,531 --> 00:06:23,499
I'm not on my own. I have an alliance.
175
00:06:24,668 --> 00:06:26,702
An alliance.
176
00:06:26,703 --> 00:06:29,038
It's not "Bachelor in
Paradise." It's "Survivor."
177
00:06:29,039 --> 00:06:30,877
Rosa, I am very disappointed in you.
178
00:06:30,884 --> 00:06:32,325
Your approval means nothing to me.
179
00:06:32,331 --> 00:06:34,543
Copy that. And Terry,
I knew you were playing.
180
00:06:34,544 --> 00:06:36,679
- Last year was a setup.
- Hell yeah, it was.
181
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,681
I'm sick of you, Amy, and Holt winning.
182
00:06:38,682 --> 00:06:41,217
- You're all so damn smug.
- Yeah, you guys may be champs,
183
00:06:41,218 --> 00:06:44,352
but this year... this year
belongs to The Tramps.
184
00:06:44,359 --> 00:06:46,574
- Charles, that's a bad name.
- Ha, you're just jealous.
185
00:06:46,581 --> 00:06:47,990
- Everyone loves it.
- No.
186
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,886
- Nuh-uh.
- Bill, keep an eye on him.
187
00:06:49,893 --> 00:06:53,029
Let's go, Tramps. Charles, no! No!
188
00:06:53,043 --> 00:06:55,633
Hey, let me ask you this,
how would you like to be your own boss?
189
00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:56,641
Not now, Bill!
190
00:06:58,636 --> 00:07:00,438
Amy! Amy, in here!
191
00:07:00,790 --> 00:07:02,564
In here. Help.
192
00:07:03,583 --> 00:07:05,518
- Hello, fake Charles.
- Hi.
193
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:06,846
Hello, tied-up Jake.
194
00:07:06,853 --> 00:07:08,502
Will you please help me get out of this?
195
00:07:08,509 --> 00:07:10,471
It's not for the heist.
I just really have to pee.
196
00:07:10,478 --> 00:07:13,369
I know you don't drink water.
You pee once every two days.
197
00:07:13,376 --> 00:07:15,777
- And you went this morning.
- Damn it, you know me so well.
198
00:07:15,784 --> 00:07:16,847
All right, how about this?
199
00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:19,928
I've got top secret info
about various dealings.
200
00:07:19,935 --> 00:07:21,255
If you let me out of these cuffs,
201
00:07:21,256 --> 00:07:23,357
- I'll share it with you.
- What kind of info?
202
00:07:23,358 --> 00:07:25,392
Well, first off, Wolf Gina...
203
00:07:25,393 --> 00:07:27,928
Was just a ruse so you and
Charles could steal the belt.
204
00:07:27,929 --> 00:07:29,964
Yeah-huh, but also...
205
00:07:29,965 --> 00:07:32,433
Charles teamed up with Rosa
and Terry to form The Tramps.
206
00:07:32,434 --> 00:07:33,801
Gah! How did you know that?
207
00:07:33,802 --> 00:07:35,302
I gave Charles the idea last year.
208
00:07:36,605 --> 00:07:38,505
Gina's one of the champs.
209
00:07:38,506 --> 00:07:40,674
And I'm just one of the tramps.
210
00:07:40,675 --> 00:07:42,877
Ooh, The Tramps.
211
00:07:42,878 --> 00:07:45,145
That's a great name for something.
212
00:07:45,146 --> 00:07:48,215
I just don't know what.
213
00:07:48,216 --> 00:07:49,884
But I do.
214
00:07:49,885 --> 00:07:52,286
I told you, I'll always
be one step ahead of you.
215
00:07:52,287 --> 00:07:54,833
You can't surprise me. Ya boring.
216
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:56,636
You know what spices up a relationship?
217
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,328
Co-owning a multi-tiered marketing...
218
00:07:58,335 --> 00:07:59,986
Ignore him. Look,
there are three Tramps.
219
00:07:59,993 --> 00:08:01,807
The only way we're gonna
win is if we team up.
220
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:04,465
Good point. I guess my response is,
221
00:08:04,466 --> 00:08:06,953
rot in hell, crap-face!
222
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,610
Also, I love you, and I treasure you,
223
00:08:08,617 --> 00:08:11,138
- and ya bore me.
- God, you're being so mean.
224
00:08:11,139 --> 00:08:13,391
- Do it more.
- I hope you die.
225
00:08:13,398 --> 00:08:15,075
Bye.
226
00:08:15,076 --> 00:08:18,746
Fine! Go! Who needs you,
ya freakin' jag!
227
00:08:18,747 --> 00:08:21,209
Looks like we're all clear.
Good job, guys.
228
00:08:21,216 --> 00:08:23,617
Oh, nothing can stop this Tramp train.
229
00:08:23,618 --> 00:08:26,153
Boyle, stop finding
variations on a word we hate.
230
00:08:26,154 --> 00:08:28,151
Okay, Sarge, lift up
the super heavy thing
231
00:08:28,158 --> 00:08:30,094
that no one else is
strong enough to lift.
232
00:08:34,930 --> 00:08:36,997
Nice, Sarge! Keep lifting
heavy stuff like that,
233
00:08:36,998 --> 00:08:39,354
and maybe you'll work off
some of that bulk, huh?
234
00:08:39,361 --> 00:08:41,818
- What?
- I set up an electric eye yesterday,
235
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:43,865
so if anyone enters this room,
an alarm will go off.
236
00:08:43,872 --> 00:08:46,440
Let's move. Don't cross the beam.
237
00:08:52,681 --> 00:08:56,150
Cool, yeah, that's something I
can do, without any problem.
238
00:08:58,353 --> 00:08:59,820
Alarm works.
239
00:08:59,821 --> 00:09:02,685
All right, fine,
240
00:09:02,692 --> 00:09:04,875
looks like I'm gonna have
to "127 Hours" this sitch.
241
00:09:04,882 --> 00:09:07,205
- You're gonna cut off your own arm?
- Is that how it ends?
242
00:09:07,212 --> 00:09:09,236
Oh, man, I got busy,
and my rental period expired.
243
00:09:09,243 --> 00:09:12,039
I thought he just wiggled out.
Come, will you just please un-cuff me?
244
00:09:12,046 --> 00:09:13,133
Please, you gotta, man.
245
00:09:13,134 --> 00:09:15,035
I've never treated you
like a prostitute.
246
00:09:15,036 --> 00:09:17,615
- You just did.
- Touché.
247
00:09:17,622 --> 00:09:19,543
All right, how about this? I will buy...
248
00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:21,529
double the amount of
supplements that Boyle did.
249
00:09:21,536 --> 00:09:24,255
- $8,000?
- What? He gave you 4 grand?
250
00:09:24,262 --> 00:09:26,315
All right, fine, I'm in.
251
00:09:26,322 --> 00:09:29,082
He didn't give it to me.
He invested it in his future.
252
00:09:29,089 --> 00:09:31,069
- And you can too.
- Yeah, I already agreed to it.
253
00:09:31,076 --> 00:09:33,757
- You don't have to keep selling me.
- Sorry, the script we're given
254
00:09:33,764 --> 00:09:35,240
anticipates a lot more resistance.
255
00:09:35,247 --> 00:09:36,887
Okay, so let's get the
paperwork started.
256
00:09:36,894 --> 00:09:38,667
First things first, you are not allowed
257
00:09:38,674 --> 00:09:40,462
to have any of this
reviewed by an attorney.
258
00:09:40,469 --> 00:09:41,577
Yeah, this seems bad.
259
00:09:41,584 --> 00:09:42,997
So, where on Gina's mobile
260
00:09:42,998 --> 00:09:44,999
should I place this moonless Jupiter?
261
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,668
I pity the child who lies
beneath this solar system.
262
00:09:47,669 --> 00:09:50,170
Hey, Captain, something's
going on with this heist.
263
00:09:50,171 --> 00:09:51,772
You tell us everything you know,
264
00:09:51,773 --> 00:09:53,833
and we'll tell you everything we know.
265
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,783
- I'd rather not.
- Jokes on you,
266
00:09:55,790 --> 00:09:58,000
- we don't know anything.
- Well, good day then.
267
00:09:58,007 --> 00:10:00,528
- Wait, why are you sweating?
- I'm not sweating.
268
00:10:00,535 --> 00:10:01,943
No, I've had enough heart attacks
269
00:10:01,950 --> 00:10:04,357
to know what sweating looks
like, and that's sweat.
270
00:10:07,655 --> 00:10:10,457
Well, if I'm sweating, as you claim,
271
00:10:10,458 --> 00:10:13,785
it's because I was watching
an exciting video on the net.
272
00:10:13,792 --> 00:10:15,096
Really? What?
273
00:10:15,721 --> 00:10:17,799
It was a video of an American gymnast.
274
00:10:18,549 --> 00:10:20,668
His leotard ripped, exposing his butt.
275
00:10:21,267 --> 00:10:23,135
- It was highly erotic.
- You're lying.
276
00:10:23,136 --> 00:10:25,571
I.T. just installed blocker software,
277
00:10:25,572 --> 00:10:27,539
- thanks to moi.
- Uh, yes,
278
00:10:27,540 --> 00:10:29,675
but they didn't install
it on my computer,
279
00:10:29,676 --> 00:10:31,191
because I'm a captain.
280
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:33,131
You don't look hot and
bothered at all to me.
281
00:10:33,138 --> 00:10:34,847
- Show us the erotica.
- Gentlemen,
282
00:10:34,848 --> 00:10:36,649
I assure you, there's nothing to see.
283
00:10:36,650 --> 00:10:39,618
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to grab some fresh air.
284
00:10:48,092 --> 00:10:50,394
Good boy, Cheddar.
Bring me that cummerbund.
285
00:10:50,401 --> 00:10:53,505
Oh, yeah.
286
00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:55,501
Wait a minute...
287
00:10:55,502 --> 00:10:57,703
this isn't the championship cummerbund.
288
00:10:57,704 --> 00:11:00,639
This is some common cummerbund.
289
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,712
And you're not Cheddar.
You're just some common bitch.
290
00:11:03,719 --> 00:11:05,744
And this says you've received
your sales training.
291
00:11:05,745 --> 00:11:07,646
- Great.
- And this one is
292
00:11:07,647 --> 00:11:10,138
a sworn affidavit stating that
you have seen Debbie Stovelman,
293
00:11:10,145 --> 00:11:12,140
the wife of NutriBoom founder,
David Stovelman,
294
00:11:12,147 --> 00:11:14,338
and that you found her to be
happy, healthy, and alive.
295
00:11:14,345 --> 00:11:15,845
Okay, fine. Great, all right, done.
296
00:11:15,852 --> 00:11:17,290
Just get me out of these.
297
00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:22,127
Hey, what's going on here?
298
00:11:24,731 --> 00:11:27,666
Yeah! Didn't think I could get
out of my cuffs, did you, Boyle?
299
00:11:27,667 --> 00:11:29,735
But you forgot about
one important thing...
300
00:11:29,736 --> 00:11:32,571
- NutriBoom.
- NutriBoom! That's right.
301
00:11:32,572 --> 00:11:34,573
I'm in the President's Circle now.
302
00:11:34,574 --> 00:11:36,942
Sorry, Charles, this year's
heist was just too important.
303
00:11:36,943 --> 00:11:39,645
- Watch him, Bill.
- Check in, Boyle, check in.
304
00:11:39,646 --> 00:11:41,914
Uh-oh, Jake, they check
in every ten minutes,
305
00:11:41,915 --> 00:11:46,086
and I have to respond
with a code only we know.
306
00:11:47,987 --> 00:11:49,863
- I am a Tramp.
- Copy that.
307
00:11:49,870 --> 00:11:51,403
Did I guess it? Did I guess the code?
308
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:53,936
I couldn't hear what Rosa said
back, but was that right?
309
00:11:53,943 --> 00:11:55,578
- You got it.
- Yeah, I thought so, okay.
310
00:11:56,296 --> 00:11:58,797
Okay, security system, talk to me.
311
00:11:58,798 --> 00:12:00,899
What have I missed? What's going on?
312
00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:03,902
Ah-ha! Holt used Cheddar
to steal the belt.
313
00:12:03,903 --> 00:12:05,376
But that's not Cheddar.
314
00:12:05,383 --> 00:12:07,400
Holt and Cheddar always
walk in a perfect lockstep.
315
00:12:07,407 --> 00:12:08,774
Which means someone took Cheddar,
316
00:12:08,775 --> 00:12:10,409
and that person has the belt.
317
00:12:10,410 --> 00:12:14,780
But who? Who took Cheddar?
318
00:12:14,781 --> 00:12:16,915
- Where are you coming from?
- Why do you care?
319
00:12:16,916 --> 00:12:18,884
- Thought you weren't heisting.
- I'm not.
320
00:12:18,885 --> 00:12:20,786
I'm just interested in
your comings and goings,
321
00:12:20,787 --> 00:12:22,680
because I care about you as a friend.
322
00:12:22,687 --> 00:12:24,417
Okay, friend, I went to the bathroom.
323
00:12:24,424 --> 00:12:26,425
Well, you were gone a long time, friend.
324
00:12:26,426 --> 00:12:28,627
- You feeling okay, friend?
- No, it was number two,
325
00:12:28,628 --> 00:12:31,463
and it was very intense, friend.
326
00:12:31,464 --> 00:12:33,398
Bless you.
327
00:12:33,399 --> 00:12:35,567
She sneezed. Dog allergies.
328
00:12:35,568 --> 00:12:37,770
Which means that Amy took...
329
00:12:37,771 --> 00:12:39,472
Cheddar!
330
00:12:40,507 --> 00:12:42,275
Where is my dog?
331
00:12:42,282 --> 00:12:44,133
Aren't you standing right next to him?
332
00:12:44,140 --> 00:12:46,478
This bitch? Please. Watch.
333
00:12:46,479 --> 00:12:48,447
Shake. Shake.
334
00:12:48,448 --> 00:12:50,415
Idiot.
335
00:12:50,416 --> 00:12:52,451
I know one of you took Cheddar,
336
00:12:52,452 --> 00:12:54,253
and you did it for the
sake of the heist,
337
00:12:54,254 --> 00:12:57,256
but if anything happens
to him, I will end you.
338
00:12:57,257 --> 00:12:59,358
I couldn't bring myself
to neuter Cheddar,
339
00:12:59,359 --> 00:13:01,093
but I will neuter you all.
340
00:13:02,662 --> 00:13:04,404
Uh, bing-pot.
341
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,956
Cheddar? Cheddar?
342
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:14,275
Shake.
343
00:13:14,431 --> 00:13:16,395
Ah, good grip, pristine coat.
344
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:17,785
That's my doggie!
345
00:13:17,792 --> 00:13:20,028
You betrayed me.
You'll explain yourself later.
346
00:13:20,035 --> 00:13:21,879
Return to my office.
347
00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:25,537
Guys, why is there smoke
coming from the break room?
348
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,439
What's going on?
Is someone doing something?
349
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,908
Who's doing something?
350
00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:31,315
"Handmaid's Tale." This is Amy.
351
00:13:31,322 --> 00:13:33,489
She won't shut up about
how relevant that show is
352
00:13:33,496 --> 00:13:35,981
- in today's political landscape.
- It's relevant as hell,
353
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,117
but I'm not doing anything.
354
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,052
Terry also loved the show. This is him.
355
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:42,232
No, no, I love Elisabeth Moss.
356
00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:43,764
Terry thought the show was too bleak.
357
00:13:43,771 --> 00:13:45,290
Oh, they're coming from everywhere.
358
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,928
Hello. Blessed be the fruit, baby.
359
00:13:47,934 --> 00:13:49,780
- Hitchcock, you watch that show?
- Watch what?
360
00:13:49,789 --> 00:13:51,668
- That's my pickup line.
- What are they doing?
361
00:13:51,675 --> 00:13:54,057
We haven't heard from Charles.
We need to check to make sure
362
00:13:54,064 --> 00:13:55,932
- everything's fine.
- Check what? The server?
363
00:13:55,939 --> 00:13:58,267
I stole the cummerbund from
under there an hour ago.
364
00:13:58,274 --> 00:14:01,874
- You knew about...
- About you playing? The server?
365
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:03,745
I've known about your plans for weeks.
366
00:14:03,752 --> 00:14:06,073
Uh-oh, they're circling. Stop!
367
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:08,614
Hello, Ofamy.
368
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:11,350
Hello.
369
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,845
- I don't know what's going on.
- I do.
370
00:14:13,852 --> 00:14:15,354
Handmaids, out!
371
00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,153
They really listen to you.
372
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,014
You figured out I had
the belt in my safe,
373
00:14:20,021 --> 00:14:22,221
and you thought you could
distract me and steal the key.
374
00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:23,762
I did think those things, yes,
375
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:26,432
and then... I did it.
376
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,300
Please. Impossible.
377
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:31,564
The key has been in my
shoe the entire time.
378
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,311
Okay, well, it's almost midnight.
379
00:14:33,318 --> 00:14:35,554
Why don't you try and use your key?
380
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:39,802
It fits.
381
00:14:39,809 --> 00:14:41,811
I knew you were lying.
You are so predictable.
382
00:14:41,818 --> 00:14:43,050
Uh-oh, it's not turning.
383
00:14:43,057 --> 00:14:45,322
I guess I'm not quite as
predictable as you thought.
384
00:14:45,329 --> 00:14:47,453
And I also bet none of you can predict
385
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:48,530
what I'm gonna do next.
386
00:14:48,537 --> 00:14:50,865
Use your key to open the safe
and act like a dick about it?
387
00:14:50,872 --> 00:14:52,725
Yes, obviously that's
what I'm gonna do, Rosa.
388
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:54,860
You just have to be so
spot-on all the time.
389
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:56,261
If I may... mm...
390
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,785
just get my skirt up, thanks.
391
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:01,429
Oh, look at that, the key fits.
392
00:15:01,436 --> 00:15:05,285
And the lock is turning,
and the safe is... empty?
393
00:15:05,292 --> 00:15:06,553
- What?
- There's no cummerbund?
394
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,961
- Never was. It was always a belt.
- I don't understand. Who took it?
395
00:15:08,968 --> 00:15:11,267
We haven't heard from Charles in an
hour. Maybe he betrayed The Tramps.
396
00:15:11,274 --> 00:15:13,292
Oh, God, I just called us The
Tramps. What have I become?
397
00:15:13,299 --> 00:15:14,733
It's not Charles. I locked him up.
398
00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:17,642
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, I put a
GPS tracker on the belt.
399
00:15:17,649 --> 00:15:19,684
It's on the move, and it's going fast!
400
00:15:19,698 --> 00:15:21,399
Let's take my bike.
They'll never catch us.
401
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,322
- Later, dorks.
- Should we follow them? I...
402
00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:27,025
Captain, why are you giggling?
403
00:15:27,026 --> 00:15:31,063
I put a GPS tracker inside of Terry.
404
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:34,733
Sarge, Kevin purchased one too
many full-fat French yogurts.
405
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:39,438
- You want it?
- Absolutely.
406
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,874
Enjoy, Jeffords. Enjoy.
407
00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:43,301
Devious, I know, but...
408
00:15:43,308 --> 00:15:44,943
I also put a tracker in Terry's yogurt.
409
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,712
Same here. No reason.
410
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:48,180
Just 'cause you're a great sergeant.
411
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:50,215
Now suck it down.
412
00:15:50,216 --> 00:15:52,242
Eh, no problem, take it.
413
00:15:52,249 --> 00:15:53,752
Swallow the 'gurt.
414
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:55,320
Do you guys think all that radiation
415
00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:57,222
- is bad for him?
- I'm sure he'll be fine.
416
00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:59,532
- He's lived a long life already.
- Yeah.
417
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:04,897
Good luck keeping up with me.
418
00:16:04,898 --> 00:16:06,532
I've done my morning calisthenics.
419
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,133
Oh, I'll keep up with you...
420
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,768
Rah!
421
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:13,372
In hell. Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
422
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,047
- Hello, Jacob.
- Dah!
423
00:16:22,048 --> 00:16:23,081
What... Ames...
424
00:16:23,088 --> 00:16:25,663
What are you doing here? Why aren't
you out looking for the belt?
425
00:16:25,670 --> 00:16:27,668
You and I both know the belt
never left the precinct.
426
00:16:27,675 --> 00:16:29,254
I don't know that. Nobody knows that.
427
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:31,490
I kept thinking,
"How did anyone swap my key?"
428
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:34,927
And then it hit me... they didn't.
They swapped the safe.
429
00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:37,162
One of the handmaids,
I'm assuming fake Charles,
430
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:41,659
took my safe, and then Ofamy
deposited a lookalike.
431
00:16:41,846 --> 00:16:43,762
What did you give fake
Charles so he'd help you?
432
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:45,523
Nothing. In fact, he gave me something,
433
00:16:45,530 --> 00:16:47,339
the power of financial freedom.
434
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:48,874
I invested in a pyramid scheme.
435
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,542
It's no time to go into it right now.
436
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:52,411
Okay... so, while we
all tried to figure out
437
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:53,924
who had the real key,
438
00:16:53,931 --> 00:16:56,215
fake Charles broke into the safe,
removed the tracke,
439
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:59,084
and led Terry and the whole
squad on a wild goose chase.
440
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:01,687
My only question is,
which box is the belt in?
441
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,622
Well, good luck figuring it out,
442
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:06,158
because the clock is tick-tick-tocking.
443
00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:07,730
- It's that one.
- No!
444
00:17:07,737 --> 00:17:10,028
The dust pattern on top
doesn't match its neighbors.
445
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,731
You see, Jake, I'm always gonna
be one step ahead of you.
446
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:14,700
You've lost the ability to surprise me.
447
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,535
Ya just plain boring.
448
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,871
Again, weird take on a
very loving relationship.
449
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,372
And it's midnight,
450
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:24,076
so I guess I'm an amazing human/genius.
451
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:26,745
Yeah. Although...
452
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:29,047
you might wanna read the
inscription on that there belt.
453
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,784
Why? Oh, no, what does it say?
454
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,921
"Amy Santiago, will you marry me?"
455
00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:38,824
Surprise.
456
00:17:42,023 --> 00:17:44,457
I'm so confused... I don't know
what's happening right now.
457
00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,418
"I'm so confused... I don't know
what's happening right now,"
458
00:17:46,425 --> 00:17:49,229
- title of your sex tape.
- "Oh, my God, I'm shaking."
459
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:51,877
I'm definitely gonna cry,"
Title of your sex tape.
460
00:17:51,884 --> 00:17:54,858
Wait, is this really happening?
Is this part of the heist?
461
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,469
If this is part of the heist,
I will dump you so hard.
462
00:17:57,476 --> 00:17:59,911
No, please, Ames, look,
it's really happening, okay?
463
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,547
It's not part of the heist.
I promise, this is real.
464
00:18:02,548 --> 00:18:05,249
- It is?
- Yeah.
465
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,652
Okay, here it goes.
466
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:10,588
Ames, I love you.
467
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:13,791
I love how smart you are.
I love how beautiful you are.
468
00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:16,127
I love your face, and I love your butt.
469
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:17,628
I should've written this down first.
470
00:18:17,629 --> 00:18:19,297
No, no, it's okay. Go on.
471
00:18:19,298 --> 00:18:21,742
I love how much you pretend
to like "Die Hard."
472
00:18:21,749 --> 00:18:23,616
- I like the second one.
- You don't have to.
473
00:18:23,623 --> 00:18:25,158
- Okay.
- Yeah.
474
00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:27,238
You're kind, and you're funny,
475
00:18:27,239 --> 00:18:28,940
and you're the best person I know,
476
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,876
and the best detective.
477
00:18:34,213 --> 00:18:36,047
Also, for reals, I love your butt.
478
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:38,049
- I love yours too.
- Gross.
479
00:18:39,484 --> 00:18:41,686
Amy Santiago...
480
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:43,654
will you marry me?
481
00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:46,157
Jake Peralta, I will marry you.
482
00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:56,767
I love you so much.
483
00:18:56,768 --> 00:18:58,736
Hey, jerkos, this little Tramp escaped,
484
00:18:58,737 --> 00:19:00,457
so that ought to teach...
485
00:19:01,106 --> 00:19:03,207
- D-did you just...
- Mm-hmm.
486
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:05,343
- And did you say...
- Mm-hmm.
487
00:19:09,856 --> 00:19:11,824
- To Jake and Amy.
- To Jake and Amy!
488
00:19:11,831 --> 00:19:13,500
Great stuff, great stuff.
489
00:19:13,507 --> 00:19:15,253
So, since Peralta
altered the cummerbund,
490
00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:16,854
no one really won the heist this year.
491
00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:18,230
Is that what everyone's thinking?
492
00:19:18,237 --> 00:19:19,797
- Captain...
- Right, right, sorry.
493
00:19:19,804 --> 00:19:21,744
Not the time. I'm so happy for you both.
494
00:19:21,751 --> 00:19:23,458
Technically, there was
no winner. Continue.
495
00:19:23,465 --> 00:19:24,621
Hey, Gina just texted me.
496
00:19:24,628 --> 00:19:27,231
She said, "Weird, I didn't even
realize they were dating."
497
00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:29,433
JK, so happy for you bitches."
498
00:19:29,434 --> 00:19:31,736
- Oh.
- So, Jake, tell us everything.
499
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:34,305
- Did you call Amy's dad first?
- I actually did.
500
00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:36,407
Mr. Santiago, I'm calling to inform you
501
00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:38,276
that I plan to ask your
daughter to marry me,
502
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:41,379
but since it's 2017, I am not
asking you for your permission,
503
00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:42,836
as she is not your property,
504
00:19:42,843 --> 00:19:44,888
nor would she be mine,
if she chooses to say yes.
505
00:19:44,895 --> 00:19:47,384
She's a strong independent woman,
and she don't need no man.
506
00:19:47,391 --> 00:19:49,320
That being said,
I truly hope she says yes.
507
00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:51,088
But it's her decision, so just back off!
508
00:19:51,089 --> 00:19:53,491
Aww, that was perfect. What did he say?
509
00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:56,127
I have no idea, I left a voicemail.
I'm terrified of him.
510
00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:57,492
Not to talk out of turn,
511
00:19:57,499 --> 00:20:00,932
but I think I get credit for
giving Jake the idea to propose.
512
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,333
- How's that?
- Remember?
513
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:03,467
That day in the kitchen.
514
00:20:03,468 --> 00:20:04,835
So, what I'm saying is,
515
00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:06,237
vanilla yogurt is good,
516
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:08,940
but pair it with a blueberry yogurt,
517
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,908
and both of them taste even better.
518
00:20:10,909 --> 00:20:13,136
- Get it?
- Yes?
519
00:20:13,143 --> 00:20:14,198
I did not get it,
520
00:20:14,205 --> 00:20:17,275
but speaking of yogurt, you've
eaten six GPS devices this week.
521
00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:18,482
You should see a doctor.
522
00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:19,521
- What?
- Hm?
523
00:20:19,528 --> 00:20:21,652
Look, Sarge, I think everyone knows that
524
00:20:21,653 --> 00:20:23,454
I planted the idea in Jake's head
525
00:20:23,455 --> 00:20:25,456
eight years ago.
526
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:28,459
Oh, hi, I'm starting today.
Detective Santiago.
527
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:31,162
Oh, Detective Peralta. Welcome aboard.
528
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:34,131
I'm hearing wedding bells.
529
00:20:34,132 --> 00:20:35,537
Hi, Detective Boyle.
530
00:20:35,544 --> 00:20:37,346
That actually really slowed things down.
531
00:20:37,353 --> 00:20:39,515
It took, like, four years for
me to forget that memory.
532
00:20:39,522 --> 00:20:42,185
- Yeah, I'm my own worst enemy.
- Look, no one gave me the idea.
533
00:20:42,192 --> 00:20:45,943
I decided to ask Amy to marry
me all on my own on April 28th.
534
00:20:45,944 --> 00:20:49,522
There's a typo in
this crossword puzzle.
535
00:20:50,614 --> 00:20:52,686
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.c
536
00:20:52,693 --> 00:20:54,295
I don't get it. Seems pretty normal.
537
00:20:54,302 --> 00:20:56,466
I don't know what to tell you.
That's just when I knew.
538
00:20:56,473 --> 00:20:57,922
Romantic epiphanies are dope.
539
00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,490
Thank you, Rosa. They are dope.
540
00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:01,525
Yes, dope. Congratulations.
541
00:21:01,526 --> 00:21:03,138
I'm so happy you two
are getting married.
542
00:21:03,145 --> 00:21:05,663
- We're getting married.
- We're getting married!
543
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:08,399
- And no one won the heist.
- Captain!
544
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:09,967
Get over it, ya jag!
545
00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:11,403
Yeah, ya jag!