1 00:00:03,367 --> 00:00:05,792 Hey, Charles, can we talk in the briefing room for a sec? 2 00:00:05,828 --> 00:00:07,592 - There's a question I gotta ask you. - Mm-hmm. 3 00:00:10,423 --> 00:00:12,399 It's happening. 4 00:00:12,435 --> 00:00:13,930 Jake is gonna pop the question. 5 00:00:13,966 --> 00:00:16,065 - He's gonna ask me to be his BM. - No. 6 00:00:16,101 --> 00:00:17,996 BM, best man, is a common abbreviation. 7 00:00:18,029 --> 00:00:19,965 No one but you has ever used it. 8 00:00:19,998 --> 00:00:21,502 I am so relieved. 9 00:00:21,538 --> 00:00:23,574 I thought maybe he was gonna ask one of Amy's brothers 10 00:00:23,610 --> 00:00:24,878 or, ugh, Sarge. 11 00:00:24,914 --> 00:00:26,705 - Hey, man, come on. - Charles! 12 00:00:30,161 --> 00:00:33,379 Okay, so I know this is a lot to ask... 13 00:00:33,412 --> 00:00:34,680 No, it's not. I want to do it. 14 00:00:34,713 --> 00:00:36,266 You want to cover my shift this weekend 15 00:00:36,302 --> 00:00:37,652 so I can go to the White Plains Mall 16 00:00:37,688 --> 00:00:39,730 and meet Darryl Strawberry at the opening of a cellphone store? 17 00:00:40,495 --> 00:00:41,587 Yes. 18 00:00:41,854 --> 00:00:43,654 It's exactly what I was hoping you'd ask. 19 00:00:43,690 --> 00:00:45,824 Great. Thanks. You sure it's okay? 20 00:00:45,857 --> 00:00:47,626 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 21 00:00:47,659 --> 00:00:49,956 I'm very happy about it. It'll be fun. It'll be fun. 22 00:00:49,992 --> 00:00:52,345 Uh, look at my smile. Have to go now. 23 00:00:53,799 --> 00:00:55,501 Surprise! 24 00:00:55,534 --> 00:00:57,469 Oh, my God! 25 00:00:57,503 --> 00:00:59,317 - Jake! - What do you say, bud? 26 00:00:59,353 --> 00:01:02,918 - Will you be my BM? - Yes! Yes, a million times, yes! 27 00:01:03,262 --> 00:01:04,749 In your face, Terry! 28 00:01:04,785 --> 00:01:06,299 What? I'm holding a sparkler for you. 29 00:01:06,335 --> 00:01:07,813 I helped organize a lot of this. 30 00:01:07,846 --> 00:01:09,593 Well, you can stick that sparkler up your butt. 31 00:01:09,629 --> 00:01:11,130 I'm the best man! 32 00:01:26,529 --> 00:01:30,529 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com 33 00:01:31,704 --> 00:01:33,339 Captain, allow me to introduce you 34 00:01:33,372 --> 00:01:36,642 to major East Coast arms dealer Dan "Daniel" Valdano. 35 00:01:36,675 --> 00:01:38,882 That's right, his nickname is longer than his actual name. 36 00:01:38,918 --> 00:01:40,953 - Why's that, Terry? - 'Cause he's a dick. 37 00:01:41,447 --> 00:01:43,880 We got a warrant to bug him, but his house is a fortress 38 00:01:43,916 --> 00:01:45,450 and he never goes anywhere in public. 39 00:01:45,486 --> 00:01:47,439 Luckily, CI just gave us a break. 40 00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:49,704 Valdano's gonna actually leave his house 41 00:01:49,740 --> 00:01:51,990 to go to a high stakes poker game this Friday. 42 00:01:52,026 --> 00:01:55,371 If we can get a seat at that table, we can lose this watch to him. 43 00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:56,722 And guess what. It's... 44 00:01:56,758 --> 00:01:58,682 - Bugged! - Yes, it's bugged. 45 00:01:58,718 --> 00:01:59,834 Good guess, Captain. 46 00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:01,914 The plan is, we go to the club tonight, 47 00:02:01,950 --> 00:02:05,217 show off our poker skills, and get an invite to the high stakes game. 48 00:02:05,253 --> 00:02:07,522 All we need is $15,000 to get in the door. 49 00:02:07,558 --> 00:02:09,052 That's a lot of money. How are your poker skills? 50 00:02:09,088 --> 00:02:10,615 A'ight. 51 00:02:10,651 --> 00:02:11,670 - Good. - A'ight. 52 00:02:11,706 --> 00:02:12,711 - Hecka good. - A'ight. 53 00:02:12,744 --> 00:02:14,522 - So good. - Perhaps I should see for myself. 54 00:02:14,558 --> 00:02:16,746 - Oh. Do you play? - I am... 55 00:02:17,085 --> 00:02:19,299 - A'ight. - Damn, Cap. 56 00:02:19,335 --> 00:02:21,804 - Are you secretly cool? - Well, poker is just math, 57 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,355 so I guess it depends on if you consider 58 00:02:23,391 --> 00:02:26,837 the mathematician Carl Friedrich Gauss cool. 59 00:02:27,426 --> 00:02:28,560 I do not. 60 00:02:28,594 --> 00:02:30,328 All right, let's play some cards. 61 00:02:30,364 --> 00:02:32,245 Sarge asked me to help you guys with some filing. 62 00:02:32,281 --> 00:02:34,146 Holy crap, this is gonna take all day. 63 00:02:34,182 --> 00:02:36,285 Yup, it's what we call an all-dayer. 64 00:02:36,321 --> 00:02:37,779 How long did it take you two to come up with that? 65 00:02:37,815 --> 00:02:40,372 - That was a two-dayer. - Okay, well, hand me some files. 66 00:02:43,875 --> 00:02:45,611 You're not gonna bother actually walking? 67 00:02:45,644 --> 00:02:47,606 Why should we? We can work from down here. 68 00:02:47,642 --> 00:02:49,437 I'm sitting down as long as I can. 69 00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:51,717 I'm not getting out of the chair till it's time to go home. 70 00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:54,453 - Ugh. - Oh, typical standing elite. 71 00:02:54,677 --> 00:02:56,713 You couldn't sit all day if you tried. 72 00:02:56,749 --> 00:03:00,185 What? You don't think I could outlast you turds in a chair? 73 00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:02,478 Honey, you don't have the ass for it. 74 00:03:03,576 --> 00:03:05,056 Let's talk terms. 75 00:03:05,092 --> 00:03:07,433 Both cheeks on the cushion at all times. 76 00:03:07,466 --> 00:03:08,872 Obviously. Bathroom breaks? 77 00:03:08,908 --> 00:03:10,316 Two and a half minutes every three hours. 78 00:03:10,352 --> 00:03:12,234 But you gotta roll the chair fully into the stall. 79 00:03:12,270 --> 00:03:14,940 - Obviously. - Okay. 80 00:03:17,790 --> 00:03:19,959 - Let's do this. - Welcome to the Buttlympics. 81 00:03:21,147 --> 00:03:23,493 I call to order the meeting of investors 82 00:03:23,529 --> 00:03:26,488 in the forthcoming Charles Boyle owned-and-operated 83 00:03:26,524 --> 00:03:28,147 food truck venture. 84 00:03:28,553 --> 00:03:31,156 I know I'm the only investor, but is it cool if I take minutes? 85 00:03:31,189 --> 00:03:33,618 Yes. Put this down: we got a truck. 86 00:03:33,654 --> 00:03:35,627 What? Really? That's huge. 87 00:03:35,661 --> 00:03:36,662 Take a look. 88 00:03:36,995 --> 00:03:39,164 Is that the NYPD police auction site? 89 00:03:39,197 --> 00:03:40,632 Yeah, that's how I found out about it. 90 00:03:40,666 --> 00:03:42,901 And there's our baby. Isn't she a... 91 00:03:42,934 --> 00:03:44,322 Murder truck? 92 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,505 That's the truck from the Tinga Time Taco murders! 93 00:03:46,541 --> 00:03:48,384 Yes, two brothers were using a taco truck 94 00:03:48,420 --> 00:03:50,328 to move heroin and then were killed by the cartel 95 00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:52,242 - that supplied them. - Not just killed, Boyle. 96 00:03:52,278 --> 00:03:54,113 Dismembered. Right in the truck. 97 00:03:54,149 --> 00:03:57,028 Right in our truck. That's why it was such bargain. 98 00:03:57,064 --> 00:04:00,180 Everyone else was like, "Ooh, there's a knee in the fryer. 99 00:04:00,216 --> 00:04:02,306 I don't want to sell food out of this." 100 00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,910 - They found a knee in the fryer? - Exactly. You get it. 101 00:04:04,946 --> 00:04:06,841 Well, now I get to go pick it up. 102 00:04:07,559 --> 00:04:09,695 Oh, almost forgot my hazmat suit. 103 00:04:11,630 --> 00:04:13,985 And... I win again. 104 00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:17,264 Which is not surprising, given how you are both terrible. 105 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,830 You don't even know the terminology. 106 00:04:18,866 --> 00:04:21,320 - What are you talking about? "Hit me." - That is blackjack. 107 00:04:21,356 --> 00:04:22,444 - Snake-eyes. - Craps. 108 00:04:22,493 --> 00:04:23,906 - Go Fish. - And I believe that is 109 00:04:23,942 --> 00:04:25,082 - Go Fish. - Fine. 110 00:04:25,118 --> 00:04:26,548 Jake stinks, but I can play. 111 00:04:26,584 --> 00:04:29,124 Yes, but you have a rather unfortunate tell: 112 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:30,300 your right breast. 113 00:04:30,772 --> 00:04:33,207 Oh, no. My cards are terrible. 114 00:04:33,405 --> 00:04:34,720 Sure they are. 115 00:04:34,753 --> 00:04:36,311 Dammit, Eugene, you sold me out! 116 00:04:36,347 --> 00:04:37,557 Captain, do I have a tell? 117 00:04:37,593 --> 00:04:39,046 No, you don't understand the game well enough 118 00:04:39,082 --> 00:04:40,496 - to have a tell. - Yeah, that makes sense. 119 00:04:40,532 --> 00:04:41,914 What about you? What's your tell? 120 00:04:41,950 --> 00:04:44,097 It is subtle. You will never discern it. 121 00:04:44,133 --> 00:04:46,698 Oh, really? Well, challenge accepted. 122 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:48,270 Tell me a lie. 123 00:04:48,501 --> 00:04:49,635 You're both great at poker 124 00:04:49,668 --> 00:04:50,873 and I'm not gonna cancel the mission. 125 00:04:50,909 --> 00:04:52,644 Nope, I couldn't see it. Wait, what? 126 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:54,114 You're cancelling the mission? You can't do that. 127 00:04:54,150 --> 00:04:55,886 This is our only shot at catching Valdano. 128 00:04:55,922 --> 00:04:57,424 It's a foolish plan. Neither of you have any chance 129 00:04:57,460 --> 00:04:59,053 of making it to the VIP table. 130 00:04:59,089 --> 00:05:00,724 But maybe you could. What if you played? 131 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,127 No, I don't gamble anymore. 132 00:05:02,163 --> 00:05:03,982 A few years back I had a minor addiction, 133 00:05:04,015 --> 00:05:05,868 specifically involving... 134 00:05:06,454 --> 00:05:07,589 the ponies. 135 00:05:07,786 --> 00:05:09,988 I'd like to bet $20,000 on... 136 00:05:10,021 --> 00:05:13,859 Yabba Dabba Doo. 137 00:05:14,045 --> 00:05:15,947 Sadly, Yabba Dabba Doo stumbled 138 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,796 and had to be put down in front all of us. 139 00:05:17,829 --> 00:05:19,565 - Oh. That's fun. - Wait. 140 00:05:19,817 --> 00:05:21,986 What if I never went inside the casino? 141 00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:23,535 I could be outside in a surveillance van, 142 00:05:23,569 --> 00:05:25,637 telling Peralta what to do. 143 00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:27,468 Smart. That way you never technically gamble. 144 00:05:27,504 --> 00:05:28,907 - Right. - I don't know. 145 00:05:28,940 --> 00:05:30,942 Addiction is nothing to fool around with. 146 00:05:30,978 --> 00:05:33,584 I had food issues. I ate a crate of hams once. 147 00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:34,880 Yeah, and look at you now. 148 00:05:34,913 --> 00:05:37,284 You're like a super-jacked He-man guy, right? 149 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,401 It's settled; we'll go with the captain's plan. 150 00:05:40,227 --> 00:05:43,461 Here's your persona: you're Billy "Big Time" Jankowski. 151 00:05:43,497 --> 00:05:46,409 You wear sunglasses, headphones, and an unwashed hoodie. 152 00:05:46,573 --> 00:05:48,252 You normally gamble online, 153 00:05:48,288 --> 00:05:50,050 from your mother's basement, where you live. 154 00:05:50,086 --> 00:05:51,597 Seems unnecessary. 155 00:05:51,630 --> 00:05:53,599 The hoodie hides your sunglass-camera's electronics. 156 00:05:53,632 --> 00:05:56,220 I more meant the living in my mom's basement virgin vibe. 157 00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:59,689 You added the virgin, but I like it. It's part of your backstory now. 158 00:05:59,725 --> 00:06:01,502 - But... - You're a virgin. That's an order. 159 00:06:01,538 --> 00:06:03,273 But I don't want to be a virgin again. 160 00:06:03,709 --> 00:06:05,733 Okay, I'm approaching the table. 161 00:06:05,928 --> 00:06:08,358 Evening, gentlemen. Let's play some cards. 162 00:06:08,428 --> 00:06:09,962 And now, Peralta, say the following... 163 00:06:09,998 --> 00:06:12,918 I'm coming in under the gun, and I've 15k behind. 164 00:06:13,490 --> 00:06:14,702 Okay. 165 00:06:15,127 --> 00:06:16,462 Action's on you. 166 00:06:17,908 --> 00:06:20,076 Mmm, tasty. Raise it 500. 167 00:06:20,112 --> 00:06:21,627 Raise it 5-hundo. 168 00:06:21,660 --> 00:06:22,794 - Made up my own. - What? 169 00:06:22,828 --> 00:06:24,069 I'm just talking to myself. 170 00:06:24,105 --> 00:06:25,833 I'm used to playing online, so it's not weird. 171 00:06:29,735 --> 00:06:31,069 Well, well, well. 172 00:06:31,102 --> 00:06:34,072 You flopped the absolute nuts, Peralta. Go all in. 173 00:06:34,105 --> 00:06:36,115 Are you sure? On the first hand, Captain? 174 00:06:36,151 --> 00:06:37,876 It's what the math dictates. 175 00:06:37,909 --> 00:06:40,879 At this moment there are no two cards that can beat Peralta. 176 00:06:40,915 --> 00:06:42,681 - I'm all in. - And now they all fold 177 00:06:42,714 --> 00:06:45,067 like so much recently dried linen. 178 00:06:45,103 --> 00:06:46,471 - I'll call. - What an idiot. 179 00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:47,542 Two players. 180 00:06:50,968 --> 00:06:52,904 - What? - Full house wins. 181 00:06:52,940 --> 00:06:54,937 - Yes! - No, he won; not you. 182 00:06:54,973 --> 00:06:56,330 You're out of chips. 183 00:06:56,366 --> 00:06:57,663 Oh, well, that sucks. 184 00:06:57,696 --> 00:06:59,631 Guess I'll just head back to my mom's basement. 185 00:06:59,665 --> 00:07:00,699 I'm a virgin. 186 00:07:04,053 --> 00:07:06,738 All clear. No poopers. Repeat: No poopers. 187 00:07:06,772 --> 00:07:08,139 That was a disaster. 188 00:07:08,173 --> 00:07:10,024 I thought Holt was supposed to be great at this. 189 00:07:11,328 --> 00:07:13,030 - Any poopers? - All clear. 190 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,278 What happened, Captain? 191 00:07:14,314 --> 00:07:15,847 That imbecile in the trucker hat 192 00:07:15,881 --> 00:07:18,347 hit both his runners and sucked out on the river. 193 00:07:18,383 --> 00:07:19,751 Yeah, he did. What does that mean? 194 00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:22,954 Not to worry. The odds of that happening again are infinitesimal. 195 00:07:22,988 --> 00:07:24,990 Not that it matters. Since we're out of money. 196 00:07:25,026 --> 00:07:27,008 Oh, but we're not. 197 00:07:28,375 --> 00:07:30,167 - Where'd this come from? - It's my money. 198 00:07:30,203 --> 00:07:31,837 There are 25 ATMs in this place. 199 00:07:31,873 --> 00:07:33,198 Even the fire exit has one. 200 00:07:33,231 --> 00:07:36,067 You want us to use your own money? You sure that's a good idea? 201 00:07:36,101 --> 00:07:38,744 I haven't placed a bet or touched a card. 202 00:07:38,780 --> 00:07:39,914 I'm fine. 203 00:07:39,956 --> 00:07:41,392 Technically that is true. 204 00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:43,428 Trust me; the math is in our favor. 205 00:07:43,647 --> 00:07:46,812 All right, let's get back in there and suck out two runners 206 00:07:46,845 --> 00:07:48,179 down by the river. 207 00:07:48,594 --> 00:07:50,262 - Did I say that right? - Not even close. 208 00:07:50,298 --> 00:07:51,349 Yeah, I didn't think so. 209 00:07:51,382 --> 00:07:52,884 Still, let's get in there and suck 'em out. 210 00:07:52,918 --> 00:07:54,104 No time like the present. 211 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,718 And no place to do it like the men's bathroom, 212 00:07:55,754 --> 00:07:58,356 to leave from here to go do what we're talking about. 213 00:07:58,915 --> 00:08:01,841 Ugh. Nine hours and 55 minutes. 214 00:08:01,877 --> 00:08:03,629 Is it? I feel like I just sat down. 215 00:08:03,665 --> 00:08:06,259 I have no feeling down there whatsoever. 216 00:08:07,412 --> 00:08:09,647 I haven't in years. 217 00:08:09,683 --> 00:08:11,524 I'm doing great too. This has been a piece of ca... 218 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,692 Oh, butt cramp. Butt cramp! 219 00:08:13,728 --> 00:08:14,906 That sounds painful. 220 00:08:14,940 --> 00:08:16,681 I bet you could use some electrolytes. 221 00:08:16,717 --> 00:08:18,646 - Give me that! That's mine. - Come get it. 222 00:08:19,244 --> 00:08:21,046 You'll never catch me! 223 00:08:21,079 --> 00:08:22,304 Oh, won't I? 224 00:08:22,524 --> 00:08:23,659 Oh! 225 00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:30,355 Cramp over. 226 00:08:30,769 --> 00:08:32,187 And so is our shift. 227 00:08:32,223 --> 00:08:34,759 Ha. And you thought I couldn't... Wait, what are you doing? 228 00:08:34,795 --> 00:08:36,842 You thought we were done just because our shift was over? 229 00:08:36,878 --> 00:08:38,229 - Amateur. - Oh. 230 00:08:38,263 --> 00:08:39,831 So you wanna take this thing into overtime? 231 00:08:39,865 --> 00:08:41,873 Fine. I got no place to be. 232 00:08:41,909 --> 00:08:43,477 Neither do I. I never do. 233 00:08:43,513 --> 00:08:45,904 Then it's agreed. The games continue. 234 00:08:46,444 --> 00:08:48,229 And now you're going to... 235 00:08:48,977 --> 00:08:50,298 - Fold. - Fold. 236 00:08:50,979 --> 00:08:52,714 - Fold. - Fold. 237 00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:54,079 - Fold. - Fold. 238 00:08:54,112 --> 00:08:56,014 Should we consider cutting our losses? 239 00:08:56,050 --> 00:08:58,246 Hush, Sergeant. Our cards are coming. 240 00:08:58,518 --> 00:09:01,851 And there she is. 241 00:09:01,887 --> 00:09:02,969 - You won. - I won. 242 00:09:03,005 --> 00:09:04,213 - You won! - Won again. 243 00:09:04,249 --> 00:09:05,615 - That's our straight. - And again, again. 244 00:09:05,651 --> 00:09:06,980 Hot damn! 245 00:09:07,016 --> 00:09:08,399 Peralta, say "hot damn." 246 00:09:08,435 --> 00:09:10,197 - Hot damn! - Now you say it. 247 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,185 - Hot damn! - Full house. 248 00:09:12,221 --> 00:09:13,231 Eights over threes. 249 00:09:13,264 --> 00:09:15,428 Good. Now say to the dealer... 250 00:09:15,464 --> 00:09:17,400 Well, this has been fun. 251 00:09:17,436 --> 00:09:19,237 But I'm sick of playing with... 252 00:09:19,270 --> 00:09:21,206 wittle wittle babies. 253 00:09:21,239 --> 00:09:24,416 Is there a table for people who wear big boy pants? 254 00:09:25,737 --> 00:09:27,946 Actually, there's a private game on Friday 255 00:09:27,979 --> 00:09:29,221 I think you might like. 256 00:09:31,756 --> 00:09:33,010 Much obliged. 257 00:09:34,546 --> 00:09:36,121 - Hey, there, bud. - Hey. 258 00:09:36,154 --> 00:09:38,256 Can we talk about the murder truck we just purchased 259 00:09:38,289 --> 00:09:40,061 with our very hard-earned money? 260 00:09:40,097 --> 00:09:42,196 Oh, Amy, wait till you see her. 261 00:09:42,232 --> 00:09:44,558 I spent all night pressure-washing her, 262 00:09:44,594 --> 00:09:46,187 and she is spotless. 263 00:09:46,223 --> 00:09:48,345 Yeah, it's just, what if word gets out 264 00:09:48,381 --> 00:09:50,483 that our food truck was the site of a double homicide? 265 00:09:50,522 --> 00:09:51,820 What if word gets out? 266 00:09:51,856 --> 00:09:54,227 It's in the "Our Story" section of the menu. 267 00:09:54,263 --> 00:09:55,725 We're calling it Murder Truck! 268 00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:56,983 - We are? - Yeah! 269 00:09:57,019 --> 00:09:59,928 - It was your idea. - No, it was my greatest fear. 270 00:09:59,964 --> 00:10:02,430 I can't believe you're leaning into the murder thing. 271 00:10:02,466 --> 00:10:04,985 Well, it'll get people talking. Check out the menu. 272 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:07,031 It's printed on a crime scene photo. 273 00:10:07,067 --> 00:10:08,495 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 274 00:10:08,531 --> 00:10:10,405 Charles, we're gonna lose all of our money. 275 00:10:10,441 --> 00:10:11,990 Are you worried? 276 00:10:12,227 --> 00:10:14,613 Oh, okay, I see what's happening. 277 00:10:14,649 --> 00:10:16,928 Starting a business is very scary. 278 00:10:16,962 --> 00:10:20,143 But I promise you, once you see our truck, 279 00:10:20,446 --> 00:10:22,324 you'll feel a lot better. Come on. 280 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:26,869 No, no, no, no, no! My truck! My beautiful truck! 281 00:10:26,905 --> 00:10:28,173 Someone killed ripped her apart! 282 00:10:28,206 --> 00:10:29,663 Charles, please tell me you got insurance. 283 00:10:29,699 --> 00:10:31,176 - I did. - Okay, thank God. 284 00:10:31,209 --> 00:10:33,102 Coverage starts tomorrow. 285 00:10:34,863 --> 00:10:36,674 Well, Valdano's gonna be there tonight, 286 00:10:36,710 --> 00:10:39,278 and the recording device in the watch is transmitting. 287 00:10:39,314 --> 00:10:41,348 I feel like Bond. Terry Bond. 288 00:10:41,384 --> 00:10:43,354 Well, technically I'm the one wearing the watch, 289 00:10:43,390 --> 00:10:45,023 so that would make you Q at best. 290 00:10:45,056 --> 00:10:47,071 - Terry Q. - Yeah. Way to roll with it. 291 00:10:47,107 --> 00:10:49,163 Come on, let's tell Holt we're prepped for tonight. 292 00:10:49,199 --> 00:10:50,998 I gotta say, I was wrong about him. 293 00:10:51,034 --> 00:10:53,298 He had no problem walking away last night. 294 00:10:53,725 --> 00:10:55,416 He left a lot of hams in that crate. 295 00:10:55,452 --> 00:10:56,534 Juicy. 296 00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:59,348 Spiral-cut, honey-sweet but salty... 297 00:10:59,384 --> 00:11:01,090 - Sarge, come back to me. - What? 298 00:11:01,126 --> 00:11:02,609 You're the one that brought up ham. 299 00:11:02,645 --> 00:11:05,494 - That was you. - Yes, yes, come to papa. 300 00:11:05,530 --> 00:11:08,346 Raise it a grand! Call. Raise. 301 00:11:08,379 --> 00:11:10,682 A pair of candy canes. I'm all in, baby. 302 00:11:10,718 --> 00:11:12,317 - What are you doing, sir? - Working the case. 303 00:11:12,353 --> 00:11:13,983 Sharpening my poker skills for Valdano. 304 00:11:14,019 --> 00:11:17,055 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and why are you watching this children's beauty pageant? 305 00:11:17,088 --> 00:11:19,024 For fun, obviously. 306 00:11:19,057 --> 00:11:21,492 No, Jayla, don't drop the baton. 307 00:11:21,812 --> 00:11:24,248 No, I had so much riding on you! 308 00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,820 Oh no. He is deep in the ham crate. 309 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,369 - Are you sure about this? - Yes. 310 00:11:31,402 --> 00:11:33,343 Captain Holt's been in his office gambling for hours. 311 00:11:33,379 --> 00:11:35,059 Our only choice is to cut off his internet. 312 00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:37,105 No, I mean, are you sure you know how to do that? 313 00:11:37,141 --> 00:11:38,729 Of course. I just have to pull this... 314 00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:39,783 Oh! 315 00:11:41,299 --> 00:11:42,791 - Gah. - Wrong wire. 316 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:44,915 Yep, we'll... we'll fix that later. 317 00:11:44,951 --> 00:11:46,351 And... 318 00:11:46,728 --> 00:11:48,735 - What the hell? - Got it. 319 00:11:48,970 --> 00:11:50,698 Having trouble with your internet, sir? 320 00:11:50,734 --> 00:11:52,929 He's not here. Where'd he go? 321 00:11:52,965 --> 00:11:54,100 Roof. 322 00:11:54,136 --> 00:11:55,593 What are you doing? 323 00:11:55,626 --> 00:11:57,709 Trying to pick up a Wi-Fi signal from across the street. 324 00:11:57,745 --> 00:12:00,531 I've got $8,000 riding on little Jayla. 325 00:12:00,567 --> 00:12:02,627 Don't you think you have a bit of a problem here, sir? 326 00:12:02,663 --> 00:12:04,203 I'm in complete control. 327 00:12:04,239 --> 00:12:06,667 Now, Terry, come over here and dangle me off the edge of this building. 328 00:12:06,703 --> 00:12:09,574 Sir, I am not going to dangle you off the side of this building. 329 00:12:09,607 --> 00:12:11,009 You're fired. Peralta, let me climb onto your shoulders. 330 00:12:11,042 --> 00:12:12,243 - I can't... - You're fired. 331 00:12:12,277 --> 00:12:13,642 No one works here anymore. 332 00:12:13,678 --> 00:12:15,933 Look, we need to have a real talk about your gambling. 333 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,191 Relapsing is nothing to be ashamed of. 334 00:12:18,227 --> 00:12:20,694 A couple years ago on my birthday I treated myself 335 00:12:20,730 --> 00:12:22,253 to one piece of pizza. 336 00:12:22,289 --> 00:12:25,898 I woke up the next morning in a Sbarro on the Jersey Turnpike. 337 00:12:25,934 --> 00:12:27,117 It wasn't even open! 338 00:12:27,153 --> 00:12:28,526 That's not what's happening here. 339 00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:30,995 I'm not weak like you. I can stop whenever I want. 340 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:33,584 - Then stop. - I don't want. 341 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:34,858 Now if you'll excuse me, 342 00:12:34,894 --> 00:12:37,017 I'm heading to the acai bowl internet café. 343 00:12:37,053 --> 00:12:40,207 Got a lot of money riding on the NLCS, whatever the hell that is. 344 00:12:40,243 --> 00:12:41,885 We can't let you do that. 345 00:12:41,921 --> 00:12:44,975 And how exactly will you stop me? 346 00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:47,697 We'll call your husband. 347 00:12:48,972 --> 00:12:50,125 No. 348 00:12:51,012 --> 00:12:53,420 No, I can't put Kevin through this, not again. 349 00:12:54,029 --> 00:12:55,714 You're right. I've lost control, 350 00:12:55,986 --> 00:12:57,858 and I'm taking myself off this case. 351 00:12:58,092 --> 00:13:02,252 And I'm not going anywhere near gambling again. 352 00:13:03,962 --> 00:13:06,776 - You promise? - From the bottom of my heart. 353 00:13:06,812 --> 00:13:08,152 It's a dead issue. 354 00:13:08,534 --> 00:13:09,909 I'm proud of you, sir. 355 00:13:10,032 --> 00:13:11,436 So am I, Captain. 356 00:13:12,211 --> 00:13:14,862 So I'm sorry. Terry, you went to Jersey for pizza? 357 00:13:14,898 --> 00:13:17,308 - I had a problem, man! - Right, sorry. 358 00:13:17,637 --> 00:13:20,896 Ugh, how long have we been sitting? My butt's lost track of time. 359 00:13:20,932 --> 00:13:23,873 - Coming up on 32 hours. - I miss the little things. 360 00:13:24,217 --> 00:13:26,551 Showers. Feeling my feet. 361 00:13:27,138 --> 00:13:29,073 - Standing. - I miss my home chair. 362 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,193 You miss a chair? 363 00:13:30,229 --> 00:13:32,344 I just want walk up to the hot dog stand out front 364 00:13:32,380 --> 00:13:33,668 and get a fresh wiener. 365 00:13:33,704 --> 00:13:35,823 Oh, man. Why did you say that? Now I want one. 366 00:13:35,859 --> 00:13:37,509 - So you should go get one. - Oh, and let you win? 367 00:13:37,545 --> 00:13:39,183 You're just trying to get us to stand up. 368 00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:41,681 No. We should all go get one... 369 00:13:41,868 --> 00:13:43,870 - in our chairs. - She's right. 370 00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:46,141 The only thing holding us back is society. 371 00:13:56,026 --> 00:13:57,964 Mmm. So good. 372 00:13:58,942 --> 00:14:00,844 I got it. No. 373 00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:03,213 - My ass. - It left the chair. 374 00:14:03,249 --> 00:14:04,847 I'm sorry, man. 375 00:14:05,121 --> 00:14:08,259 No. It was my time. 376 00:14:09,277 --> 00:14:10,511 It's our time too. 377 00:14:10,547 --> 00:14:13,121 We've been through hell together. Now we stand together. 378 00:14:14,814 --> 00:14:16,448 Nope. Legs are dead. 379 00:14:16,484 --> 00:14:17,663 Going down. 380 00:14:19,564 --> 00:14:20,822 Charles, what are you doing? 381 00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:22,373 I know having our truck smashed to bits 382 00:14:22,407 --> 00:14:25,303 was a bit of a setback, but don't worry; I have an idea. 383 00:14:25,339 --> 00:14:28,179 The truck was deconstructed so we do... 384 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,436 Not have a business anymore? 385 00:14:30,472 --> 00:14:33,028 No. We do deconstructed food. 386 00:14:33,064 --> 00:14:35,476 For instance, a deconstructed meatball sub: 387 00:14:35,512 --> 00:14:37,925 a meatball, rolled in breadcrumbs 388 00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:40,458 with a caramelized tomato sauce drizzle. 389 00:14:41,107 --> 00:14:42,489 - Taste it. - Charles, 390 00:14:42,525 --> 00:14:44,712 I appreciate that you're trying to fix this situation, 391 00:14:44,748 --> 00:14:45,927 but you don't have to. 392 00:14:45,963 --> 00:14:47,264 I have great news. 393 00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:48,381 I know who robbed us. 394 00:14:48,417 --> 00:14:50,431 The cartel who did the taco truck murders 395 00:14:50,467 --> 00:14:53,171 ripped apart the truck, because there was heroin still inside it. 396 00:14:53,204 --> 00:14:55,393 We found opioid traces behind the fridge. 397 00:14:55,429 --> 00:14:57,577 I had forensics scour the truck for DNA 398 00:14:57,613 --> 00:15:00,476 and we got a match: a cartel enforcer. 399 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,833 Do you know what this means? 400 00:15:01,869 --> 00:15:03,448 The truck becomes a crime scene again. 401 00:15:03,481 --> 00:15:05,924 Yes! It's been impounded. We get our money back! 402 00:15:06,986 --> 00:15:08,027 Great. 403 00:15:08,130 --> 00:15:09,999 I'm glad you get your money back. 404 00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:13,421 You can invest it in something you actually believe in instead of... 405 00:15:13,457 --> 00:15:14,927 My balls. 406 00:15:14,963 --> 00:15:17,533 Now if you'll excuse me, I have 50 pounds of meat 407 00:15:17,569 --> 00:15:19,999 I have to return before it goes rotten. 408 00:15:21,048 --> 00:15:22,469 Like my dreams. 409 00:15:25,722 --> 00:15:27,913 There's Valdano. The watch is transmitting. 410 00:15:27,949 --> 00:15:29,850 All you have to do is lose it to him. 411 00:15:29,886 --> 00:15:31,954 - Worst of luck to you. - Don't worry, Terry. 412 00:15:31,990 --> 00:15:34,212 I'm about to crap the bed. 413 00:15:34,566 --> 00:15:36,918 Evening, gentlemen. Ready for some poker? 414 00:15:36,954 --> 00:15:39,586 - That's why we're here. - Good one, stranger. 415 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,109 I'll take 150. 416 00:15:41,481 --> 00:15:42,959 Hot damn! 417 00:15:43,111 --> 00:15:44,271 Four queens. 418 00:15:44,307 --> 00:15:47,101 I call this hand the Golden Girls. 419 00:15:47,137 --> 00:15:49,846 Damn it. Oh, you would look at that. 420 00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:52,742 My mom's calling me. She's flipping her lid 421 00:15:52,778 --> 00:15:54,519 because she found all my nudie mags in the basement. 422 00:15:54,555 --> 00:15:55,889 Anyways, BRB. 423 00:15:57,883 --> 00:16:00,566 What happened to not wanting to gamble anymore for Kevin? 424 00:16:00,602 --> 00:16:03,324 Sir, you are spiraling. You lied straight to our faces. 425 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:04,475 Well, that's on you. 426 00:16:04,509 --> 00:16:06,798 If you could spot my tell, you would've known. 427 00:16:06,834 --> 00:16:08,039 Fine. What's your tell? 428 00:16:08,075 --> 00:16:09,705 Let's just say, I'm doing it right now. 429 00:16:09,741 --> 00:16:11,405 I'm doing it at this very moment. 430 00:16:11,441 --> 00:16:13,555 - Is it standing up? - I've just done it again. 431 00:16:13,591 --> 00:16:15,324 Whoops, there's another time. 432 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,449 I don't understand. Even if you wanted to gamble, 433 00:16:17,485 --> 00:16:19,212 why come here, where we'd be? 434 00:16:19,248 --> 00:16:22,079 I lost some money on lame little Jayla, 435 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,178 and I realized that's because I've been gambling 436 00:16:24,214 --> 00:16:27,620 instead of being down here doing what I'm good at... math. 437 00:16:27,656 --> 00:16:30,091 Now go get Valdano before you blow your covers. 438 00:16:30,127 --> 00:16:33,532 I'm off duty; what I do on my own time is my own business. 439 00:16:33,568 --> 00:16:35,890 Unlike you two who are still on the clock 440 00:16:35,926 --> 00:16:37,511 and are now being bad cops. 441 00:16:37,547 --> 00:16:40,169 Wow, listen to you talking all smooth. 442 00:16:40,205 --> 00:16:41,965 But you can't fool us, sir. 443 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,607 You might as well face it. 444 00:16:43,662 --> 00:16:46,049 You're addicted to math. Robert Palmer. 445 00:16:46,085 --> 00:16:47,571 Come on, Sarge. Let's go. 446 00:16:52,467 --> 00:16:54,235 So you're a cop. 447 00:16:56,490 --> 00:16:58,225 There was a pooper. 448 00:16:59,830 --> 00:17:00,956 Sorry about that. 449 00:17:00,992 --> 00:17:03,234 Crisis averted: I told her I read the magazines 450 00:17:03,268 --> 00:17:05,106 for the articles. She totally bought it. 451 00:17:05,142 --> 00:17:07,705 - Wait a sec, where are you going? - Got called away on business. 452 00:17:07,738 --> 00:17:10,146 Come back next Friday; I'll take your money from you then. 453 00:17:11,609 --> 00:17:14,745 Well, we'll just see about that, Mr. Cool Voice. 454 00:17:15,686 --> 00:17:17,214 His voice is really cool. 455 00:17:23,874 --> 00:17:26,049 So I understand you're a cop 456 00:17:26,085 --> 00:17:27,894 who's trying to bring me down. 457 00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:29,727 Why don't we take a little drive? 458 00:17:30,436 --> 00:17:33,598 Why did you stay at the table so long after Valdano was already gone? 459 00:17:33,631 --> 00:17:35,714 It would've been suspicious if I left right after he did, 460 00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,093 so I played a couple hands. 461 00:17:37,129 --> 00:17:38,687 Come on, let's grab Holt and get out of here. 462 00:17:38,859 --> 00:17:40,400 Wait. Where's Holt? 463 00:17:41,648 --> 00:17:43,815 So what was your plan, cop? 464 00:17:43,851 --> 00:17:47,016 Does it matter? We failed and now you know we're onto you. 465 00:17:47,052 --> 00:17:48,807 You get to come out ahead tonight, 466 00:17:48,843 --> 00:17:50,970 provided you don't do anything dumb right now. 467 00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:55,706 My colleagues are calling, probably wondering where I am. 468 00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:57,475 Then put their minds at ease. 469 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,568 - Yes? - Captain. 470 00:18:00,604 --> 00:18:01,659 We're leaving. Where are you? 471 00:18:01,692 --> 00:18:03,978 I've already left. I don't enjoy being judged, 472 00:18:04,014 --> 00:18:06,212 so I'm on my way to Atlantic City for the weekend. 473 00:18:06,248 --> 00:18:07,284 I'll be gambling. 474 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,822 No, sir, please just come back, okay? 475 00:18:09,858 --> 00:18:11,398 Terry and I will keep you company. 476 00:18:11,434 --> 00:18:12,614 We'll go to a museum. 477 00:18:12,650 --> 00:18:14,516 One of the boring ones with no dinosaurs. 478 00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,387 Forget it. I shouldn't've answered. 479 00:18:22,117 --> 00:18:23,851 Bye-bye "Toxic." 480 00:18:23,887 --> 00:18:25,758 Bye-bye "Party in the USA." 481 00:18:25,794 --> 00:18:27,196 Hey, Charles. What are you doing? 482 00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:29,929 I'm deleting all the upbeat music off my computer. 483 00:18:29,965 --> 00:18:31,119 I know you're down, but... 484 00:18:31,155 --> 00:18:33,099 Bye-bye "Swish Swish Bish." 485 00:18:33,135 --> 00:18:35,403 Look, I feel really bad about the way I treated you. 486 00:18:35,439 --> 00:18:36,544 Well, you shouldn't. 487 00:18:36,580 --> 00:18:38,958 You're the only one who saw that my dream was stupid 488 00:18:38,994 --> 00:18:40,510 and then you got me all my money back. 489 00:18:40,546 --> 00:18:43,669 Well, after you left, I tried one of your meatballs 490 00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:44,873 and then another. 491 00:18:44,909 --> 00:18:46,866 And another. I couldn't stop 492 00:18:46,902 --> 00:18:48,940 because they were so damn good. 493 00:18:48,976 --> 00:18:50,501 Really? You liked them? 494 00:18:50,537 --> 00:18:53,613 I loved them. I should have tried them earlier. 495 00:18:53,649 --> 00:18:55,619 I lost track of the fact that this whole thing 496 00:18:55,655 --> 00:18:57,983 was supposed to be about your food. 497 00:18:58,019 --> 00:18:59,490 I think we should buy another food truck. 498 00:18:59,526 --> 00:19:00,827 - You do? - Yes. 499 00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:02,674 But I have some conditions: 500 00:19:02,710 --> 00:19:05,009 1, it cannot be a crime scene; 501 00:19:05,045 --> 00:19:07,904 2, you have to get insurance on day one; 502 00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:11,049 3, you have to keep dreaming up amazing things to cook. 503 00:19:11,459 --> 00:19:13,171 You're so good, Boyle. 504 00:19:13,343 --> 00:19:15,348 Deal! We're gonna buy a food truck! 505 00:19:15,384 --> 00:19:17,266 We're gonna get a food truck! Yes! 506 00:19:17,302 --> 00:19:18,793 Stop! 507 00:19:19,842 --> 00:19:21,344 I ate too many meatballs. 508 00:19:21,380 --> 00:19:22,373 Oh. 509 00:19:23,254 --> 00:19:25,132 - Where we going? - Atlantic City. 510 00:19:25,168 --> 00:19:26,801 That's where you told your friends you'd be, 511 00:19:26,837 --> 00:19:28,276 so that's where they'll find your body. 512 00:19:28,312 --> 00:19:30,537 I'm a captain in the NYPD. 513 00:19:30,573 --> 00:19:33,301 Yeah, and you're also a known gambling addict. 514 00:19:33,337 --> 00:19:35,373 You lost all your money in A.C. 515 00:19:35,409 --> 00:19:38,128 and then drowned yourself in the ocean. 516 00:19:40,627 --> 00:19:43,069 Stay down! 517 00:19:43,105 --> 00:19:44,862 NYPD! Keep your hands on the wheel. 518 00:19:45,829 --> 00:19:47,976 Hey there, Captain Holt. 519 00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:49,651 We just saved your big ol' butt. 520 00:19:49,687 --> 00:19:51,976 Hello, Dan "Daniel" Valdano. 521 00:19:52,012 --> 00:19:54,224 - Guess what. - You're a dick! 522 00:19:54,576 --> 00:19:55,798 Yeah. 523 00:19:55,834 --> 00:19:57,095 How did you find me? 524 00:19:57,131 --> 00:19:59,125 We traced your phone and tracked down the limo. 525 00:19:59,161 --> 00:20:01,631 Wait. How did you even know I was in trouble? 526 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:03,467 I figured out your tell. 527 00:20:03,538 --> 00:20:06,380 When you're lying, you use contractions. Lots of 'em. 528 00:20:06,416 --> 00:20:08,422 I've lost control. I'm taking myself off the case. 529 00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:11,683 I've just done it again. Whoops. There's another time. 530 00:20:11,719 --> 00:20:13,722 I shouldn't've have answered. Shouldn't've answered. 531 00:20:13,758 --> 00:20:14,859 Shouldn't've... 532 00:20:15,177 --> 00:20:17,828 It was the "shouldn't've" that finally tipped me off. 533 00:20:17,864 --> 00:20:20,450 I've never heard you use a double contraction before. 534 00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:22,633 And you never will again. 535 00:20:23,567 --> 00:20:25,457 I was at rock bottom. 536 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,843 I feel so embarrassed. 537 00:20:28,879 --> 00:20:30,569 I understand. I've been there. 538 00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:33,215 I once ate a box of uncooked rice in a movie theater. 539 00:20:33,259 --> 00:20:34,497 Wow, really? 540 00:20:34,714 --> 00:20:36,209 - Jake. - I'm sorry. 541 00:20:36,245 --> 00:20:39,607 I owe you two a tremendous debt of gratitude. 542 00:20:40,150 --> 00:20:43,721 I was overwhelmed by my addiction and you were there for me. 543 00:20:44,739 --> 00:20:47,391 Of course, sir. We'd do anything for you. 544 00:20:47,427 --> 00:20:50,819 Perhaps you two would take me to a meeting of Gambler's Anonymous. 545 00:20:50,855 --> 00:20:53,380 - Absolutely. - And, Jake, before we go, 546 00:20:54,088 --> 00:20:56,505 - I need to admit one more thing. - Of course, anything. 547 00:20:56,541 --> 00:20:58,303 When I made you tell that table 548 00:20:58,339 --> 00:20:59,687 that you were living in your mother's basement, 549 00:20:59,723 --> 00:21:01,097 it wasn't for the case. 550 00:21:01,133 --> 00:21:02,978 I was just messing with you. 551 00:21:03,014 --> 00:21:05,335 Oh, well played, sir. 552 00:21:05,371 --> 00:21:06,638 But the joke's on you. 553 00:21:06,674 --> 00:21:08,649 My mother has a fantastic basement. 554 00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:10,087 Title of your sex tape. Too soon? 555 00:21:10,123 --> 00:21:11,181 All right, let's go. 556 00:21:12,317 --> 00:21:14,152 Hey, standing desk. 557 00:21:14,188 --> 00:21:15,825 Look who's taking care of herself. 558 00:21:15,861 --> 00:21:18,188 - Someone's not sitting down on the job. - Hey. 559 00:21:19,113 --> 00:21:20,781 Sitting down on the job is damned hard work, 560 00:21:20,817 --> 00:21:22,877 and those heroes prove it every day. 561 00:21:22,913 --> 00:21:24,334 Mad respect. 562 00:21:25,343 --> 00:21:27,765 Okay. Sorry. 563 00:21:28,507 --> 00:21:30,409 Seriously, you guys should stand up once in a while. 564 00:21:30,445 --> 00:21:31,824 You know, for your hearts. 565 00:21:35,135 --> 00:21:39,135 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com