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00:00:04,242 --> 00:00:06,050
Peralta, there was a botched B & E
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00:00:06,085 --> 00:00:07,352
at a jewelry store on Atlantic
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that just turned into
a hostage situation.
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They want you to be the negotiator.
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Oh, my God, my prayers
have finally been answered.
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You prayed for a hostage situation?
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Yes, I did. Every single day.
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I don't understand.
Why isn't ESU handling this?
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Apparently, the hostage-taker
asked for Jake by name.
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Oh, yes, it's getting even cooler.
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Oh, man, I wonder who it is. Ooh!
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Maybe it's the brother
of someone I put away for life.
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Ooh! Or the identical twin of
someone I put away for life.
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- Ooh! Or the fraternal twin of...
- Jake!
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Just get down there! Take Diaz with you.
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Yep. Yep, yep, yep. How do I look?
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It doesn't matter. Let's go negotiate!
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Hey, everyone, I'm here.
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I'm Jake Peralta, the negotiator.
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- Oh, so you're Jake Peralta?
- The negotiator, yes.
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- Who are you?
- Dennis Kole, ESU.
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This was my crime scene
before you bozos got here.
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Nice to meet you too, Dennis.
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I've spent ten years as a negotiator
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and you just took
my first hostage situation.
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All I've done up till now is
talk jumpers off of rooftops.
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But that must be satisfying
in its own way, right?
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Yeah, really satisfying
saving a crazy person's life.
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Whatever. Here's a little advice.
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- I don't like you two.
- Not so much advice
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as it is a hurtful statement
based on limited interaction.
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He wants to talk to you.
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- Get the hell in there.
- Ooh, it says "negotiator" on it.
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This is Jake Peralta.
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I am unarmed
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and I'm approaching the building
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- You wanted to talk to me?
- Keep those hands in the air.
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And wave 'em like you just don't care.
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What?
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I'm just messing with you, Peralta.
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Put your hands down,
give me a hug, baby.
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Judy!
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Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
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Sergeant, a member of
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the Commissioner selection
committee is coming in today
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to tour the precinct
and do some interviews.
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Would you mind speaking with her?
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Of course. Terry loves answering
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the hard questions.
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Oh, here she is.
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I guess you don't have time to take off
those ridiculous suspenders.
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- What?
- Hello, Miss Sumter.
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Hello, Captain.
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I'm excited to speak to you subordinates
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and learn more about
your management style.
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I thought you could talk
to Sergeant Jeffords here.
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Sergeant? Oh, um...
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I'd rather not talk to a supervisor.
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I was hoping to interview
one of your detectives.
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Perhaps, um... him?
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No!
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- Excuse me?
- There was a wasp near me,
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which has since disappeared.
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You can interview Detective Hitchcock
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and I am completely fine with that.
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I gotta admit, man.
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I thought you'd be happy to see me.
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- Why you being so weird.
- Oh, I don't know.
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I didn't sleep well last night,
so I'm probably tired from that.
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Oh, and also,
this is a hostage situation!
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Wow! It's like that.
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Yes, it's like that. What the hell?
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- I thought you went straight?
- I did.
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I'm a high-end car broker now.
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I procure luxury vehicles
for the rich and famous
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and I do it legally.
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Last week I dropped off a Bugatti
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to the kid with the lisp
from "Stranger Things."
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You met Dustin? Was he cool?
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Do him and the rest of the gang
hang out in real life?
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You know what? No.
We are not chatting right now.
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You have three hostages.
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You mean Pam and the two Bobs?
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They not hostages. I prefer to call them
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"collateral friendships."
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I gave 'em each 500 bucks
out of my own pocket.
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- Thanks again, Doug.
- You the man, Doug.
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Actually, I'd rather
still not be a hostage.
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Pam hasn't come around on me yet.
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Tell her I'm a nice person, Jake.
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I'm sorry. Officer, are you
friends with this criminal?
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- No, not really.
- Absolutely, best friends.
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It's a layered relationship, Pam.
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- Best friends.
- Judy, get over here.
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- What is going on, man?
- This isn't my fault.
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Two years ago before I went straight,
I stole a car from a drug dealer.
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- Martin Halloway.
- Oh, no, Judy, he's a bad guy.
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I know. When I realized it was his car,
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I torched it along with the drugs
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that were in the trunk
that I didn't know about.
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Oh, no, Judy. Trunk drugs?
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Millions of dollars of them.
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Halloway just found out it was me.
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Said I had to do a job for him
to pay off my debt.
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But did you tell him you went straight?
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- Did you tell him about Dustin?
- I did.
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He said he doesn't watch
"Stranger Things."
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- Oh, this guy is the worst.
- I know.
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He said he's gonna kill my mom
if I don't do this job.
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He can't do that. I love your mom.
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So do I. That's why I'm here
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stealing this big ole bag of diamonds.
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Jake, you know how dangerous
this dude can be.
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I need you to help me save my mama.
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- Help you how?
- Easy.
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I got a plan that's good for everyone.
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All I need is for you to...
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Let him go so he can arrange
a drop with Halloway.
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We arrest Halloway, save Judy's mom,
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and Judy turns himself in,
and why is that amazing, Rosa?
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- Halloway's a huge crime boss.
- And what else?
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NYPD's been trying
to get Halloway for years.
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- And?
- That's it.
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Yeah, it is. So, since we all agree,
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I'll go tell Judy that the plan is on.
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We don't all agree.
He's trapped and desperate.
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Everything he told you is a lie.
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- Why do you say he's lying?
- That's all negotiating is.
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Two liars lying to each other
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until one liar stands
too close to the window
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and gets shot in the head.
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That can't be all negotiating is.
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It absolutely is. Now, get in there
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and coax him to a window.
Snipers to one.
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The window plan is on. I repeat.
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- The window plan is on.
- No, no, no, no, no!
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Snipers to zero. Snipers take a nap.
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The nap plan is on.
It's nap time, snipers.
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Amy, Gina, you came!
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You think I'd miss
opening day of your food truck?
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- I'm your biggest fan.
- Also your biggest investor.
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00:05:05,751 --> 00:05:07,818
She was freaking out she was
gonna lose a ton of money.
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I told you that in confidence.
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We don't have that kind of relationship.
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Well, don't worry. I'm feeling good.
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"The One Thing" truck is ready to serve.
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- "The One Thing"?
- Yeah.
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We only serve one thing:
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the perfect meatball sandwich...
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made exactly the way Nana Boyle used to.
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00:05:21,534 --> 00:05:23,401
I can't believe this
is finally happening.
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- Ahh!
- Uh, Charles?
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00:05:28,151 --> 00:05:30,007
Sorry, I'm a bit stressed.
Jason and Jeff,
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the guys I hired to work the truck,
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called in sick so I'm all alone.
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What a fun opportunity.
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Okay, Boyle, stop freaking out.
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I have the day off.
I can step in and help.
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Yeah, me too. I'm not off,
but I come and go as I please.
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It's part of my charm.
I'm like an outdoor cat.
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ESU won't take your deal.
They think you're lying.
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I'm not lying.
I don't wanna be a criminal.
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I love my life as a average citizen.
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I voted for the first time this year.
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- Ed Breakfast for school board.
- Who?
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I don't know. He had a funny name.
He deserves a shot.
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That's why I voted for Stacy Ladle.
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Anyway, I'm sorry, but
they're not cutting a deal.
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So that's it? I gotta turn myself in
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- and let Halloway kill my mama?
- Actually...
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there might another way
to get this done.
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I've taken your negotiator hostage.
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If you come in here, I will shoot him.
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Just do whatever he says!
My life is in his hands!
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That was so much fun!
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Oh, man, you sounded really scary.
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No, no, it was all you.
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The tremble in your voice sold it.
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- "Just do whatever he wants."
- I just made that up.
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- Ah, I was so in the moment.
- Dude, seriously?
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- You are a great hostage.
- Oh, thanks, Judy.
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00:06:31,537 --> 00:06:33,604
You're a great hostage taker. Whoop.
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00:06:37,143 --> 00:06:38,776
Yes, sir.
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00:06:40,722 --> 00:06:43,223
I can't believe Peralta
got taken hostage.
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The good news is...
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I'm the negotiator now.
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- Finally.
- Congratulations.
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00:06:48,730 --> 00:06:50,864
I've been waiting
for this moment for so long,
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- and...
- I'm ready to negotiate.
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00:06:52,395 --> 00:06:54,834
But I'll only talk to Rosa Diaz.
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00:06:54,869 --> 00:06:56,871
- That's me, Dennis.
- Oh, come on!
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00:06:58,073 --> 00:07:00,607
Okay, I think we're ready
for a practice sandwich.
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00:07:00,642 --> 00:07:02,542
- Sounds good, boss.
- Please call me "chef."
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00:07:02,577 --> 00:07:04,209
That's funny.
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00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:06,607
- Chef.
- Thank you.
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00:07:07,599 --> 00:07:10,617
Okay, see. The cut is a little slopey.
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00:07:10,652 --> 00:07:12,552
I want you to cut it straight across.
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00:07:12,587 --> 00:07:14,487
No big deal. Again.
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00:07:14,522 --> 00:07:15,537
Oh.
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00:07:16,157 --> 00:07:17,324
Uhp, slopey.
201
00:07:17,359 --> 00:07:19,262
Don't over think it. Again.
202
00:07:20,729 --> 00:07:22,295
Now you're not thinking enough.
203
00:07:22,330 --> 00:07:23,396
Again.
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00:07:24,065 --> 00:07:25,693
Still slopey. Again.
205
00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:27,067
Again!
206
00:07:27,102 --> 00:07:28,467
You know what? Why don't we try this:
207
00:07:28,503 --> 00:07:29,703
Why don't you just take that knife,
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00:07:29,738 --> 00:07:31,037
put it to my throat, and finish the job!
209
00:07:31,072 --> 00:07:32,606
- Huh?
- Do I look like Jake to you?
210
00:07:32,641 --> 00:07:33,974
- What?
- Do I look like Jake to you?
211
00:07:34,009 --> 00:07:35,775
- No, not at all.
- Then why are you trying
212
00:07:35,810 --> 00:07:37,777
- to screw me?
- Oh, my God, Charles,
213
00:07:37,812 --> 00:07:40,013
- what is going on with you?
- It's chef.
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00:07:40,048 --> 00:07:41,781
You're not ready for this.
Gina, you're up.
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00:07:41,816 --> 00:07:43,149
Okay, but I'm not calling you chef,
216
00:07:43,184 --> 00:07:45,182
- and you're not yelling at me.
- Mm-hmm.
217
00:07:47,022 --> 00:07:48,622
- There you go.
- Ah, thank you.
218
00:07:48,657 --> 00:07:51,157
No slope! A nice, straight cut!
219
00:07:51,192 --> 00:07:52,692
Thank you.
I felt good 'cause the knife...
220
00:07:52,727 --> 00:07:54,294
But you smushed the bread!
221
00:07:54,329 --> 00:07:55,840
It's too smushy!
222
00:07:56,864 --> 00:07:57,879
Again.
223
00:08:01,636 --> 00:08:04,571
♪ Rosa, Rosa, Rosa ♪
224
00:08:04,606 --> 00:08:06,441
♪ Are you finally single? ♪
225
00:08:06,477 --> 00:08:08,108
- No.
- ♪ I respect that ♪
226
00:08:08,143 --> 00:08:09,943
Now come on in. We gotta talk business.
227
00:08:09,978 --> 00:08:12,632
It's so good to see you. Bring it in.
228
00:08:13,715 --> 00:08:15,014
Doug Judy, you're under arrest.
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00:08:15,050 --> 00:08:16,683
- Wait, Rosa, stop.
- What's going on?
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00:08:16,719 --> 00:08:18,710
All right, look, this is not
really a hostage situation.
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00:08:18,746 --> 00:08:20,379
I mean, Pam and the two Bobs
are definitely being held
232
00:08:20,415 --> 00:08:21,982
against their will,
but not for much longer.
233
00:08:22,018 --> 00:08:23,621
Jake is helping me take down Halloway.
234
00:08:23,657 --> 00:08:25,632
- We can't do it without you.
- Seriously, man?
235
00:08:25,668 --> 00:08:27,760
This is like that story my dad
told me as a little kid.
236
00:08:27,796 --> 00:08:29,129
You're the frog and he's a scorpion.
237
00:08:29,164 --> 00:08:30,664
You're gonna help him across the river.
238
00:08:30,699 --> 00:08:32,404
And in the end, he'll sting you,
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00:08:32,493 --> 00:08:35,060
- and then you'll both drown.
- Wow, that's dark.
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00:08:35,096 --> 00:08:36,563
My parents didn't read to me at all.
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00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,041
I just watched cartoons
till I fell asleep.
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00:08:38,077 --> 00:08:39,277
Do you think that our childhoods shape
243
00:08:39,313 --> 00:08:40,707
- the adults we become?
- They do.
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00:08:40,742 --> 00:08:42,142
And cartoons shaped you
into a naive little frog.
245
00:08:42,177 --> 00:08:43,877
Okay, first, little frogs are adorable,
246
00:08:43,912 --> 00:08:45,679
and second, he's not
that kind of scorpion anymore.
247
00:08:45,714 --> 00:08:47,047
I'm a changed bug.
248
00:08:47,082 --> 00:08:48,314
Actually, scorpions are arthropods.
249
00:08:48,349 --> 00:08:49,749
Amy made me watch a documentary.
250
00:08:49,784 --> 00:08:51,889
Look, I know he used to be a criminal
and he's fooled me in the past,
251
00:08:51,925 --> 00:08:53,853
and he is currently engaged
in criminal activity.
252
00:08:53,888 --> 00:08:55,422
Innocent until proved guilty.
253
00:08:55,457 --> 00:08:57,457
- But I am doing it.
- Rosa, his mother is in danger
254
00:08:57,492 --> 00:08:59,192
and we have to help her.
255
00:08:59,227 --> 00:09:00,994
Plus, he agreed to turn himself
in when this is all over.
256
00:09:01,029 --> 00:09:02,867
- Right, Judy?
- I promise.
257
00:09:03,987 --> 00:09:05,109
All right.
258
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:07,247
What do you need from me?
259
00:09:07,283 --> 00:09:08,583
We have an airtight plan.
260
00:09:08,619 --> 00:09:10,403
All we demand is pizza.
261
00:09:10,438 --> 00:09:13,173
Hitchcock, there's a woman
here interviewing detectives
262
00:09:13,208 --> 00:09:15,141
as part of the
Commissioner selection process.
263
00:09:15,176 --> 00:09:16,810
All right, I'll go hide
in the janitor's closet
264
00:09:16,845 --> 00:09:18,636
until this is all over.
Thanks for the heads up.
265
00:09:18,672 --> 00:09:20,780
No, it's too late for that.
She wants to talk to you.
266
00:09:20,815 --> 00:09:22,816
What? No! How could you let this happen?
267
00:09:22,851 --> 00:09:24,918
- I'm nuts!
- Hey, calm down, man.
268
00:09:24,953 --> 00:09:26,553
We just took her
on a tour of the precinct
269
00:09:26,588 --> 00:09:29,222
and now she's at lunch.
That means we have one hour
270
00:09:29,257 --> 00:09:31,758
to teach you how to behave like a human.
271
00:09:31,793 --> 00:09:33,802
Oh, I see.
272
00:09:33,838 --> 00:09:36,496
- You're gonna "My Bare Lady" me.
- "My Bare Lady"?
273
00:09:36,531 --> 00:09:39,711
I'm assuming it's
a "My Fair Lady" porn parody.
274
00:09:40,201 --> 00:09:42,902
Oh, my. We've got our work
cutout for us.
275
00:09:42,937 --> 00:09:44,704
Here's our list of words to avoid:
276
00:09:44,739 --> 00:09:46,973
Chick, foxy, Jew, throb.
277
00:09:47,008 --> 00:09:48,608
Is grundle on the table?
278
00:09:48,643 --> 00:09:50,876
No, it's not on the table.
279
00:09:50,912 --> 00:09:52,278
Practice introducing yourself.
280
00:09:52,313 --> 00:09:54,814
Hello, I'm Detective Michael Hitchcock.
281
00:09:54,849 --> 00:09:56,316
Nice job.
282
00:09:56,351 --> 00:09:58,485
- But why are your hands so wet?
- Trick question.
283
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,954
The answers disgusting,
so I shouldn't tell her.
284
00:10:00,989 --> 00:10:02,889
Just don't have wet hands, man.
285
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,269
Hitchcock, come out.
286
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,238
It's time.
287
00:10:09,497 --> 00:10:11,798
You look incredible.
288
00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:12,893
You bet I do.
289
00:10:12,929 --> 00:10:14,737
These pants really flatter my dong.
290
00:10:15,470 --> 00:10:17,494
What? Dong wasn't on the list.
291
00:10:18,106 --> 00:10:19,339
I cannot believe I didn't know
292
00:10:19,374 --> 00:10:20,673
you and Amy were getting married.
293
00:10:20,708 --> 00:10:22,175
Yeah, well, you're not exactly
294
00:10:22,210 --> 00:10:24,043
- an easy person to find.
- Right, right, right.
295
00:10:24,078 --> 00:10:25,377
I am elusive as hell.
296
00:10:25,413 --> 00:10:28,299
So, is there a La Creuset pot
297
00:10:28,335 --> 00:10:30,283
- on your registry, by chance?
- Of course.
298
00:10:30,318 --> 00:10:31,985
You can cook and serve in them.
299
00:10:32,020 --> 00:10:33,987
And it looks amazing on your shelf.
300
00:10:34,022 --> 00:10:35,722
What's your color of preference?
301
00:10:35,757 --> 00:10:37,157
French grey or mineral blue?
302
00:10:37,192 --> 00:10:39,025
Oh, you really do know your Le Creuset.
303
00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:40,293
French grey.
304
00:10:40,328 --> 00:10:42,128
Mineral Blue makes me want to barf.
305
00:10:42,163 --> 00:10:45,165
Consider it gifted.
Also, it would me my honor,
306
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,766
- to sing at your wedding.
- Yeah, I don't think
307
00:10:46,801 --> 00:10:48,735
- that's gonna be possible.
- Oh, I get it.
308
00:10:48,770 --> 00:10:50,036
You're afraid when I open my mouth.
309
00:10:50,071 --> 00:10:51,905
Everyone's gonna
start smushing on sight.
310
00:10:51,940 --> 00:10:53,907
No, I more meant that your
probably still gonna be in jail.
311
00:10:53,943 --> 00:10:56,235
Damn, that's right.
I almost forgot. Tell you what.
312
00:10:56,271 --> 00:10:57,577
I'll record you some songs.
313
00:10:57,612 --> 00:10:59,879
"Kiss From a Rose"
really exploits my range.
314
00:10:59,914 --> 00:11:01,594
We have your food.
315
00:11:02,317 --> 00:11:04,584
Why are we sending him in?
One of my men should do it.
316
00:11:04,619 --> 00:11:06,920
It would take two of
your people three trips each
317
00:11:06,955 --> 00:11:08,555
to hold this much food. My guy's a pro.
318
00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:11,321
I've been carrying takeout
since before you were born, son.
319
00:11:11,357 --> 00:11:13,420
Fine, but I wanna know
what's going on in there.
320
00:11:13,728 --> 00:11:15,486
We're putting a camera on him.
321
00:11:18,233 --> 00:11:19,933
You're on camera. No audio.
322
00:11:19,968 --> 00:11:21,367
Thought so. That's why I'm tied up.
323
00:11:21,402 --> 00:11:23,102
Scully, where the pepper flakes?
324
00:11:23,137 --> 00:11:25,038
Will you calm down?
The food's a diversion.
325
00:11:25,073 --> 00:11:26,339
Although, Scully, it is crazy
326
00:11:26,374 --> 00:11:27,807
that you forgot the pepper flakes.
327
00:11:27,842 --> 00:11:29,008
Anyways, you know what to do now.
328
00:11:29,044 --> 00:11:31,024
What I do best. Turn my heart off.
329
00:11:35,383 --> 00:11:37,550
- What just happened?
- Looks like Scully collapsed.
330
00:11:37,585 --> 00:11:38,918
What the hell?
331
00:11:38,953 --> 00:11:40,453
Your man just had a heart attack!
332
00:11:40,488 --> 00:11:41,503
Send an ambulance!
333
00:11:42,156 --> 00:11:43,788
We're coming out.
334
00:11:46,027 --> 00:11:47,160
Something doesn't feel right.
335
00:11:47,195 --> 00:11:48,795
Why is there a sheet over his head?
336
00:11:48,830 --> 00:11:50,363
Because that's not our guy.
337
00:11:50,398 --> 00:11:51,930
- Judy's trying to escape.
- There's no way he could...
338
00:11:51,966 --> 00:11:53,366
All units move on the ambulance now!
339
00:11:53,401 --> 00:11:55,501
- All units...
- Move, move, move!
340
00:11:55,536 --> 00:11:57,202
Nice try, Judy.
341
00:11:58,273 --> 00:11:59,672
- Hi, there.
- Nice work, Dennis,
342
00:11:59,707 --> 00:12:01,975
you just caught a man
having a medical emergency.
343
00:12:02,010 --> 00:12:03,610
Why was there a sheet over his head?
344
00:12:03,645 --> 00:12:06,279
- Couldn't find his pulse.
- Yeah, it's super weak.
345
00:12:06,314 --> 00:12:08,448
We got movement.
Hostages are coming out.
346
00:12:08,483 --> 00:12:09,916
Hostages are coming out!
347
00:12:09,951 --> 00:12:11,084
What the hell is going on?
348
00:12:11,119 --> 00:12:12,886
Does anyone have eyes on Judy?
349
00:12:12,921 --> 00:12:14,654
Where is Doug Judy?
350
00:12:14,689 --> 00:12:17,323
So glad Scully put the
uniforms in with the pizza.
351
00:12:17,358 --> 00:12:18,992
I keep finding hidden pepperonis.
352
00:12:19,027 --> 00:12:21,294
Oh, man, all I got was
a pocket full of lettuce.
353
00:12:21,329 --> 00:12:23,196
Jake, I got you.
354
00:12:23,231 --> 00:12:25,206
Ooh, a garlic knot.
355
00:12:25,523 --> 00:12:26,879
Okay, let's ride.
356
00:12:28,098 --> 00:12:29,651
We'll be safe here. I know the owner.
He'd never turn me in.
357
00:12:29,687 --> 00:12:32,010
Yeah, I have the exact same
relationship with the guy who runs
358
00:12:32,045 --> 00:12:34,078
the laser tag place I love.
I mean, gun range.
359
00:12:34,113 --> 00:12:36,848
Peralta, who you
out here stuntin' for, huh?
360
00:12:36,883 --> 00:12:39,817
I love laser-T.
We gotta go sometime, man.
361
00:12:39,852 --> 00:12:41,252
I was hoping you'd say that.
362
00:12:41,287 --> 00:12:42,787
- I wasn't stunting.
- A little bit.
363
00:12:42,822 --> 00:12:44,122
- A little stunting.
- You stunted.
364
00:12:44,157 --> 00:12:45,856
A little bit.
All right, let's text Halloway
365
00:12:45,892 --> 00:12:48,060
- and set up the drop.
- Okay, yeah.
366
00:12:48,161 --> 00:12:50,294
Got the diamonds. Let's meet.
367
00:12:50,329 --> 00:12:51,696
Done.
368
00:12:51,731 --> 00:12:52,964
Okay, now we wait.
369
00:12:52,999 --> 00:12:54,663
Now we wait.
370
00:13:04,010 --> 00:13:06,377
Kind of weird, sitting silently
371
00:13:06,412 --> 00:13:08,746
in a private karaoke room, not singing.
372
00:13:08,781 --> 00:13:09,914
Yeah, but we're on a mission,
373
00:13:09,949 --> 00:13:11,282
so, you know, gotta stay focused.
374
00:13:11,317 --> 00:13:14,852
True, true, true, true, true, true.
375
00:13:14,887 --> 00:13:16,687
♪ So I wake in the morning ♪
376
00:13:16,722 --> 00:13:18,189
♪ And I step outside ♪
377
00:13:18,224 --> 00:13:20,024
♪ And I take a deep breath ♪
378
00:13:20,059 --> 00:13:21,893
♪ And I get real high ♪
379
00:13:21,928 --> 00:13:24,695
♪ And I scream at the top of my lungs ♪
380
00:13:24,731 --> 00:13:27,232
♪ What's going on? ♪
381
00:13:27,268 --> 00:13:28,696
Uh-oh.
382
00:13:28,732 --> 00:13:30,465
- Halloway.
- Yeah.
383
00:13:30,501 --> 00:13:32,134
The drop is set for 5:00 p.m.
384
00:13:32,371 --> 00:13:34,266
- Let's do this.
- Totally.
385
00:13:34,607 --> 00:13:37,308
Although... that is
an hour and a half from now.
386
00:13:37,343 --> 00:13:39,277
And the drop point is
actually pretty close to here.
387
00:13:39,312 --> 00:13:41,379
So...
388
00:13:41,414 --> 00:13:46,050
♪ And I said hey yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
389
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,708
Order up, chef.
390
00:13:47,976 --> 00:13:49,620
What is this? Why are you making
391
00:13:49,655 --> 00:13:51,622
- six sandwiches at once?
- It's more efficient.
392
00:13:51,657 --> 00:13:53,291
Now we're ready
for the next five customers.
393
00:13:53,326 --> 00:13:55,359
Who gives a hump about efficiency?
394
00:13:55,394 --> 00:13:57,028
The perfect meatball sandwich
395
00:13:57,063 --> 00:14:00,164
is sauced exactly 70 seconds
before being served
396
00:14:00,199 --> 00:14:01,379
to maintain bread integrity.
397
00:14:01,415 --> 00:14:03,601
So sandwich number one will be fine,
398
00:14:03,636 --> 00:14:06,135
but sandwich number six
will be a soggy turd.
399
00:14:06,604 --> 00:14:09,598
Change in menu.
We're serving soggy turds now!
400
00:14:09,634 --> 00:14:11,758
- Get 'em while they're wet.
- Okay, I quit.
401
00:14:12,111 --> 00:14:13,544
Me too. You're insane.
402
00:14:13,579 --> 00:14:15,880
Fine, quit just like Jeff and Jason did.
403
00:14:15,915 --> 00:14:17,415
You told us they got sick.
404
00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:19,550
They got sick of hard work
just like you two!
405
00:14:19,585 --> 00:14:21,486
Get out! You'll never cook
in this town again!
406
00:14:21,521 --> 00:14:23,554
- We're not chefs!
- And you never will be.
407
00:14:25,224 --> 00:14:26,913
Is Hitchcock doing okay?
408
00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:29,293
I think so. Wait.
409
00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:31,239
He's bringing his hand to his face.
410
00:14:31,275 --> 00:14:33,664
Don't pick your teeth.
Don't pick your nose.
411
00:14:33,699 --> 00:14:36,667
Oh, dear, he's going to lick
something off his fingers.
412
00:14:36,702 --> 00:14:39,382
Oh, no, he's stroking his chin.
413
00:14:39,418 --> 00:14:40,868
As if in thought.
414
00:14:41,109 --> 00:14:42,375
Not as if.
415
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:43,948
He is in thought.
416
00:14:44,210 --> 00:14:45,776
Oop, they're looking at us. Act natural.
417
00:14:45,811 --> 00:14:47,845
- Spreadsheet, spreadsheet.
- Crime, crime.
418
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,747
- Precinct, precinct.
- Yeah.
419
00:14:49,782 --> 00:14:51,015
We swept the area.
420
00:14:51,050 --> 00:14:52,884
No sign of Doug Judy or Peralta.
421
00:14:52,919 --> 00:14:54,685
I can't believe that idiot thought
422
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,821
he could just waltz in here
and do my job.
423
00:14:56,856 --> 00:14:58,689
It's hard to be a negotiator!
424
00:14:58,791 --> 00:15:01,792
My first 50 jumpers, 49 died.
425
00:15:01,827 --> 00:15:03,293
You only talked down one person?
426
00:15:03,329 --> 00:15:06,083
No, he jumped too, but he landed
on this woman who broke his fall.
427
00:15:06,119 --> 00:15:08,232
She died, but you can't
count that against me.
428
00:15:08,267 --> 00:15:10,168
- I definitely can.
- Yeah, well, save it.
429
00:15:10,203 --> 00:15:12,236
Peralta's the one
who got himself taken hostage.
430
00:15:12,271 --> 00:15:13,638
I don't think he was a hostage.
431
00:15:13,673 --> 00:15:15,773
He's pretty good friends
with that Doug guy.
432
00:15:15,808 --> 00:15:16,802
What?
433
00:15:17,022 --> 00:15:19,323
Diaz, what the hell is going on?
434
00:15:19,445 --> 00:15:21,379
First, a jeweler will come out
and inspect the diamonds.
435
00:15:21,414 --> 00:15:22,713
Then, when he gives the okay,
436
00:15:22,748 --> 00:15:23,814
Halloway will come and get them.
437
00:15:23,849 --> 00:15:25,150
And then I'll take him down.
438
00:15:25,952 --> 00:15:28,060
All right, that's the signal.
Here we go.
439
00:15:31,724 --> 00:15:33,057
What's up, dude?
440
00:15:37,296 --> 00:15:38,529
Anybody ever tell you, you look like
441
00:15:38,564 --> 00:15:40,326
the most interesting man in the world?
442
00:15:40,887 --> 00:15:42,125
You get that a lot?
443
00:15:43,230 --> 00:15:45,765
Jeez, I get it. We're not friends.
444
00:15:45,801 --> 00:15:47,801
I'll find another bocce ball partner.
445
00:15:48,074 --> 00:15:51,175
There he is. ♪ Halloway, it's your day ♪
446
00:15:51,210 --> 00:15:52,476
What's up, Mr. Halloway. How you doing?
447
00:15:52,511 --> 00:15:54,478
Shut up. Give me the diamonds.
448
00:15:54,513 --> 00:15:56,480
Man, I guess the no-small-talk policy
449
00:15:56,515 --> 00:15:58,649
- starts at the top.
- Come on, come on, come on.
450
00:15:58,684 --> 00:16:00,918
- Peralta!
- No, no, no, not now.
451
00:16:00,953 --> 00:16:02,220
I tracked your phone, idiot.
452
00:16:02,255 --> 00:16:03,553
Judy wasn't lying.
453
00:16:03,589 --> 00:16:05,055
That's Halloway. We gotta arrest him.
454
00:16:05,091 --> 00:16:06,624
- Jake, he's running.
- Come on, man.
455
00:16:06,659 --> 00:16:08,426
Only if I get the collar
and 100% of the credit.
456
00:16:08,461 --> 00:16:09,893
Are you negotiating right now?
457
00:16:09,929 --> 00:16:11,362
Always.
458
00:16:11,398 --> 00:16:13,096
Okay, that was actually
a really cool thing to say.
459
00:16:13,132 --> 00:16:14,921
All right, let's do it. Judy, stay here.
460
00:16:14,957 --> 00:16:16,082
Okay.
461
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:18,492
Stop!
462
00:16:21,274 --> 00:16:23,107
Sorry I ran out on you
at the jewelry store.
463
00:16:23,142 --> 00:16:24,342
I just couldn't let this guys get away.
464
00:16:24,377 --> 00:16:25,710
Look, man, I'm fine with it.
465
00:16:25,745 --> 00:16:27,812
Arresting Halloway's
gonna get me a promotion,
466
00:16:27,847 --> 00:16:30,114
and at the end of the day,
that's what this is all about.
467
00:16:30,149 --> 00:16:32,883
Right, well, that and getting
a major drug lord off the streets.
468
00:16:32,918 --> 00:16:35,253
Let me give you some advice.
I don't care about that.
469
00:16:35,288 --> 00:16:36,721
You know, you should really
look up the word advice.
470
00:16:36,756 --> 00:16:38,188
I think you might be surprised
what you see.
471
00:16:38,291 --> 00:16:39,957
All right, let's bring in Doug Judy.
472
00:16:39,992 --> 00:16:41,392
Oh, no!
473
00:16:42,094 --> 00:16:43,461
Where is he? Doug?
474
00:16:43,496 --> 00:16:44,996
Don't worry. We'll get him.
475
00:16:45,031 --> 00:16:46,197
At least we have Halloway
and the diamonds.
476
00:16:46,232 --> 00:16:47,465
- Doug!
- Wait, why are you
477
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:49,433
- still calling for him?
- Doug!
478
00:16:49,468 --> 00:16:52,036
Oh, my God, he has
the diamonds, doesn't he?
479
00:16:52,071 --> 00:16:55,172
Doug!
480
00:16:56,591 --> 00:16:58,357
I'm sure Judy didn't run off
with the diamonds.
481
00:16:58,392 --> 00:16:59,892
I bet he's looking for us right now.
482
00:16:59,927 --> 00:17:01,427
You know what, I bet he's
worried that we're in trouble.
483
00:17:01,462 --> 00:17:02,928
I'll just call him
and put his mind at ease.
484
00:17:02,963 --> 00:17:05,104
Dude, he's already gone.
He's not picking up.
485
00:17:05,432 --> 00:17:07,132
- What's up, Peralta.
- Ha!
486
00:17:07,167 --> 00:17:08,467
He did pick up. In your...
487
00:17:08,502 --> 00:17:10,402
- This is good-bye forever.
- No!
488
00:17:10,437 --> 00:17:12,705
Ugh, I can't believe you deceived me.
489
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,340
I can't believe you used
my love for your mother
490
00:17:14,375 --> 00:17:15,875
- against me.
- I love that you love her.
491
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,610
Of course I do. She's a living saint.
492
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,612
Amen. Look, I wasn't lying though.
493
00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:21,707
Halloway was gonna hurt her
and you saved her life,
494
00:17:21,743 --> 00:17:23,482
but then I was all alone
with the diamonds,
495
00:17:23,517 --> 00:17:25,384
next thing I know, I'm hot
wiring a car and driving away.
496
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,620
Oh, but I thought you liked
being a good citizen?
497
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:29,355
You voted Ed Breakfast for school board.
498
00:17:29,390 --> 00:17:31,590
And he immediately had a sex scandal.
499
00:17:31,625 --> 00:17:33,325
- It was very disillusioning.
- For sure.
500
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:35,728
Our democracy is crumbling.
But what about your job?
501
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,193
What about Dustin
from "Stranger Things"?
502
00:17:37,229 --> 00:17:38,529
Famous kids are monsters.
503
00:17:38,565 --> 00:17:39,945
You do not wanna meet Young Sheldon.
504
00:17:40,121 --> 00:17:42,811
Really? Ah, that's disappointing.
He was so good in "Big Little Lies."
505
00:17:42,847 --> 00:17:44,703
Wait, no, we are not
talking about this right now!
506
00:17:44,738 --> 00:17:46,272
They could take my badge, Judy!
507
00:17:46,307 --> 00:17:48,494
I guess Rosa was right. I'm scorpion.
508
00:17:48,772 --> 00:17:50,272
Scorpion's gonna scorp.
509
00:17:50,511 --> 00:17:52,278
I'm sorry I can't be the man
you want me to be.
510
00:17:52,313 --> 00:17:53,879
Damn it, stop being so romantic.
511
00:17:53,915 --> 00:17:56,316
Now turn around
and come back to me, you fool?
512
00:17:56,352 --> 00:17:57,840
Hello? Hello?
513
00:17:57,876 --> 00:17:59,058
He's gone.
514
00:17:59,315 --> 00:18:00,761
He broke my heart.
515
00:18:01,755 --> 00:18:03,956
Now's the time where you tell
me everything's gonna be okay.
516
00:18:03,991 --> 00:18:06,532
- Everything's gonna be okay.
- You don't know that, Rosa!
517
00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:09,628
Ah, Hitchcock, I just got off
the phone with Anne Sumter.
518
00:18:09,663 --> 00:18:11,597
She said you really helped my candidacy.
519
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,066
- Oh, it's my pleasure, sir.
- You were so professional.
520
00:18:14,101 --> 00:18:16,228
I know. I didn't even fart once.
521
00:18:16,264 --> 00:18:17,825
You're right. I can hold it.
522
00:18:17,861 --> 00:18:19,805
You know, if you can
change for an interview,
523
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,474
- you can change for good.
- Nah, too much work.
524
00:18:22,509 --> 00:18:24,677
But that's not how "My Fair Lady" ends.
525
00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:27,183
Eliza Doolittle doesn't
go back to her old life.
526
00:18:27,219 --> 00:18:28,986
She falls in love with Henry Higgins.
527
00:18:29,022 --> 00:18:31,150
Well, "My Bare Lady,"
is a little different.
528
00:18:31,185 --> 00:18:33,285
It's not Eliza Doolittle
and Henry Higgins.
529
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,955
It's Eliza DooEverybody and Leroy Pipe.
530
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,323
And in the end, they rub...
531
00:18:37,358 --> 00:18:38,924
Nope. We don't need a recap.
532
00:18:38,959 --> 00:18:41,044
- Thank you for your help today.
- Anytime, Captain.
533
00:18:43,297 --> 00:18:44,863
Hey, guys. Uh, can we talk?
534
00:18:44,898 --> 00:18:46,632
Let me guess, you got overwhelmed
535
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,400
and had to use
our six-sandwich technique.
536
00:18:48,435 --> 00:18:50,436
No, my one at a time system
worked perfectly.
537
00:18:50,471 --> 00:18:51,770
- Oh.
- It's just,
538
00:18:51,805 --> 00:18:53,639
making Nana Boyle's meatball recipe
539
00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:55,741
got me thinking a lot about her...
540
00:18:55,776 --> 00:18:57,977
And let me guess,
you realized she'd be ashamed
541
00:18:58,012 --> 00:19:00,446
- of how you acted?
- No, Nana Boyle was a monster.
542
00:19:00,481 --> 00:19:02,181
She once yelled at me so loud,
I fainted.
543
00:19:02,216 --> 00:19:03,398
She was a hateful witch.
544
00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:04,917
- She died with no friends.
- And let me guess,
545
00:19:04,952 --> 00:19:07,932
you realized you were acting
just like her and you felt terrible.
546
00:19:08,455 --> 00:19:09,488
- Yes.
- You see, Amy?
547
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:11,323
You don't do "and let me guess"
548
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:12,725
until you're sure you're right.
549
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,626
Can you guys forgive me? Please?
550
00:19:14,661 --> 00:19:15,995
Of course, Charles.
551
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:17,696
But we will never work for you again.
552
00:19:17,731 --> 00:19:20,132
Yeah, that's a smart move.
It's like Jekyll and Hyde.
553
00:19:20,167 --> 00:19:21,767
I can't control when Nana comes out.
554
00:19:21,802 --> 00:19:23,202
Just got off the phone with the brass.
555
00:19:23,237 --> 00:19:24,570
It doesn't look good.
556
00:19:24,605 --> 00:19:25,938
They're still trying to decide
on a punishment
557
00:19:25,973 --> 00:19:27,373
- for your actions.
- Well, did you tell them
558
00:19:27,408 --> 00:19:28,607
I feel so bad I have a tummy ache?
559
00:19:28,642 --> 00:19:30,009
I did. They were unaffected.
560
00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:31,710
They said they could have
justified your tactics
561
00:19:31,745 --> 00:19:33,746
if you'd come away
with Halloway and the diamonds,
562
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:35,714
but as things stand,
there are no diamonds.
563
00:19:35,749 --> 00:19:37,349
Well, there are some diamonds.
564
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:38,984
You know, the tops of engagement rings,
565
00:19:39,019 --> 00:19:40,819
diamond mines, but, yes,
I see what you're saying
566
00:19:40,854 --> 00:19:43,055
in regards to these diamonds
and it ruining my career.
567
00:19:43,090 --> 00:19:44,823
You're looking at
a suspension, maybe worse.
568
00:19:44,858 --> 00:19:46,461
Unless you can track down Doug Judy
569
00:19:46,497 --> 00:19:48,794
- and recover those diamonds.
- Can they wait 12 months?
570
00:19:48,829 --> 00:19:50,585
I usually run into him
about once a year.
571
00:19:50,864 --> 00:19:53,625
Wait a minute. What have we here?
572
00:19:54,348 --> 00:19:56,525
I've got this coupon for a private room.
573
00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,640
Yes. Right this way.
574
00:20:00,974 --> 00:20:02,997
We already have a song cued up for you.
575
00:20:04,111 --> 00:20:06,011
Judy.
576
00:20:06,046 --> 00:20:08,914
What's up, Peralta?
Thank you so much for coming.
577
00:20:08,949 --> 00:20:12,551
Look, I thought about it
and I did you dirty.
578
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,253
I never meant to cause you any trouble.
579
00:20:14,288 --> 00:20:15,654
Yeah, well, you caused me a lot.
580
00:20:15,689 --> 00:20:17,316
You're talking to a pre-recorded video,
581
00:20:17,352 --> 00:20:19,158
but it's cool.
I know what you're saying.
582
00:20:19,193 --> 00:20:21,293
- I hear you in my heart.
- What am I doing here?
583
00:20:21,328 --> 00:20:24,096
I feel the same way.
You my best friend too.
584
00:20:24,131 --> 00:20:25,697
Look, I'm not coming back.
585
00:20:25,732 --> 00:20:27,332
I started a new life here in San Diego.
586
00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:28,867
Stupid telling me where you are.
587
00:20:28,902 --> 00:20:30,769
Come on, man,
I ain't in no damn San Diego.
588
00:20:30,804 --> 00:20:32,671
Everybody knows that place sucks!
589
00:20:32,707 --> 00:20:33,998
Here's what I wanna say, though:
590
00:20:34,034 --> 00:20:36,075
I'm sorry I won't be at your wedding.
591
00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:40,846
But I did record you a CD
of original smush jams
592
00:20:40,881 --> 00:20:42,848
that will consummate the marriage.
593
00:20:42,883 --> 00:20:44,516
It's on the table next to you
594
00:20:44,551 --> 00:20:46,154
along with a little something else.
595
00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:51,123
A French grey Le Creuset pot.
596
00:20:51,158 --> 00:20:52,879
Now look inside it.
597
00:20:53,027 --> 00:20:55,394
The diamonds.
598
00:20:55,429 --> 00:20:57,763
Yes! I cannot believe you actually
599
00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:00,232
- brought them back...
- The diamonds!
600
00:21:00,267 --> 00:21:02,568
- Yeah, mistimed that one.
- No, you're the best.
601
00:21:02,603 --> 00:21:04,703
Look, even though I am a scorpion,
602
00:21:04,738 --> 00:21:08,207
I will never drown
your adorable little frog ass.
603
00:21:08,243 --> 00:21:09,675
So that's what I had to say.
604
00:21:09,710 --> 00:21:12,478
I'm sure I'll see you again
at some point.
605
00:21:12,513 --> 00:21:13,979
Now that coupon you got there,
606
00:21:14,014 --> 00:21:16,134
that's for a full hour
in a private room.
607
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:19,818
- so...
- So...
608
00:21:19,853 --> 00:21:21,086
♪ I said hey ♪
609
00:21:22,356 --> 00:21:25,257
♪ What's going on? ♪
610
00:21:25,371 --> 00:21:28,371
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