1
00:00:15,465 --> 00:00:17,823
That was the most stressful
thing I've ever gone through,
2
00:00:17,848 --> 00:00:19,317
and I was wrongfully imprisoned
last year.
3
00:00:19,350 --> 00:00:20,752
That was fun.
4
00:00:20,785 --> 00:00:23,187
Every aspect of owning
a food truck is fun.
5
00:00:23,220 --> 00:00:24,856
It is fun, fun, fun.
6
00:00:24,897 --> 00:00:26,803
What the hell do you want, Troy?
7
00:00:26,828 --> 00:00:28,037
You stole my spot, you son of a bitch!
8
00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:29,340
Oh, go on, get out of here.
9
00:00:29,372 --> 00:00:31,175
- You're just jealous.
- I'm not going anywhere! I made a signal,
10
00:00:31,208 --> 00:00:32,509
- and you made an illegal U-turn!
- Give me a break.
11
00:00:32,541 --> 00:00:34,210
- I should call the cops!
- Oh, are you gonna
12
00:00:34,244 --> 00:00:35,479
- call the cops?
- Yeah, I'm gonna call the cops!
13
00:00:35,512 --> 00:00:37,147
- I am the cops!
- Oh, you're a cop now?
14
00:00:37,179 --> 00:00:38,148
Why don't you go back
to your garbage truck
15
00:00:38,181 --> 00:00:39,483
and cook some pudding?
16
00:00:39,515 --> 00:00:40,484
You're gonna regret this.
17
00:00:40,517 --> 00:00:42,685
Kill yourself, Troy!
18
00:00:42,718 --> 00:00:44,488
Jake, I have a confession to make.
19
00:00:44,521 --> 00:00:46,503
The food truck is kind of
stressing me out.
20
00:00:48,592 --> 00:00:51,135
Bad news, Captain.
A water main burst downtown.
21
00:00:51,214 --> 00:00:53,150
- There's been several injuries.
- Oh, that's unfortunate.
22
00:00:53,184 --> 00:00:55,053
And the victims are
in our blah-blah-blah,
23
00:00:55,086 --> 00:00:56,420
but tell him the real tragedy, Terry.
24
00:00:56,453 --> 00:00:57,554
Olivia Crawford...
25
00:00:57,588 --> 00:00:59,390
AKA your main commish competish.
26
00:00:59,422 --> 00:01:01,925
Tweeted a statement addressing
the water main break,
27
00:01:01,958 --> 00:01:04,294
and she's been retweeted by the mayor.
28
00:01:04,327 --> 00:01:06,296
"Kudos to our brave officers"...
29
00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:08,265
- Hey, now.
- Whoa! What is going on?
30
00:01:08,298 --> 00:01:09,934
It's in all caps.
31
00:01:09,966 --> 00:01:11,568
Anyway, I don't see
how this is bad news.
32
00:01:11,602 --> 00:01:13,304
Because the commissioner race,
33
00:01:13,336 --> 00:01:14,471
like all of life,
34
00:01:14,505 --> 00:01:15,940
is a popularity contest,
35
00:01:15,972 --> 00:01:18,476
and Olivia is sitting
at the hot senior table
36
00:01:18,508 --> 00:01:21,279
whilst you are eating lunch alone.
37
00:01:21,311 --> 00:01:24,381
If the mayor wants to make me
the next NYPD commissioner,
38
00:01:24,414 --> 00:01:26,618
it'll be because of my record
and my qualifications,
39
00:01:26,650 --> 00:01:28,619
not my social media presence.
40
00:01:28,652 --> 00:01:30,388
- This is a serious job.
- I know.
41
00:01:30,420 --> 00:01:33,223
But like it or not,
the decision is political,
42
00:01:33,257 --> 00:01:36,094
and social media
is a part of politics now.
43
00:01:36,126 --> 00:01:38,095
- You need a Twitter account.
- Not gonna happen.
44
00:01:38,128 --> 00:01:39,964
The whole thing is inane.
45
00:01:39,996 --> 00:01:42,500
Besides, 140 characters is far more
46
00:01:42,532 --> 00:01:44,001
than anyone needs to make a point.
47
00:01:44,035 --> 00:01:46,503
They actually upped it to 280.
48
00:01:46,537 --> 00:01:48,006
Oh, good God.
49
00:01:48,038 --> 00:01:49,374
I'm so miserable, Jake.
50
00:01:49,406 --> 00:01:51,375
The truck is hemorrhaging money.
I'm going bankrupt.
51
00:01:51,408 --> 00:01:53,176
- I never see my family.
- All right, look.
52
00:01:53,209 --> 00:01:55,579
You just have to find a way
to reduce expenses.
53
00:01:55,613 --> 00:01:57,448
I've started saving $200 a month
54
00:01:57,481 --> 00:01:58,983
just by buying "John Wick"
55
00:01:59,015 --> 00:02:00,317
instead of renting it every two nights.
56
00:02:00,351 --> 00:02:01,286
I have cut costs.
57
00:02:01,318 --> 00:02:03,687
I fired my only employee, Ted,
which was awful.
58
00:02:03,721 --> 00:02:05,256
Okay, look, I hate to ask this,
59
00:02:05,288 --> 00:02:07,125
but have you considered
shutting the truck down?
60
00:02:07,157 --> 00:02:09,026
You're always bragging about
how much Boyles love to give up.
61
00:02:09,060 --> 00:02:10,662
I can't. I'm in so much debt.
62
00:02:10,694 --> 00:02:12,329
I took out a loan for the truck.
63
00:02:12,363 --> 00:02:14,032
I got Amy to invest.
64
00:02:14,065 --> 00:02:16,267
No, the only way out
of this hole is to keep digging.
65
00:02:16,299 --> 00:02:18,268
That's not how holes work...
title of your sex tape...
66
00:02:18,301 --> 00:02:19,603
Charles, look, you're gonna
67
00:02:19,637 --> 00:02:21,306
find your way out of this, I swear.
68
00:02:21,339 --> 00:02:23,041
- It's all gonna work out.
- You're right.
69
00:02:23,073 --> 00:02:25,243
You know, if I just work hard
and stay positive,
70
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:26,643
I'm sure it'll be a huge success
71
00:02:26,676 --> 00:02:27,946
and everything will be okay.
72
00:02:27,978 --> 00:02:29,112
There you go.
73
00:02:30,982 --> 00:02:32,650
Hello? Oh.
74
00:02:32,682 --> 00:02:35,085
Okay. No, thank you.
75
00:02:35,119 --> 00:02:37,187
So my truck burned down.
76
00:02:37,221 --> 00:02:38,289
Hey.
77
00:02:38,322 --> 00:02:40,124
Someone robbed a bodega on 4th Street.
78
00:02:40,156 --> 00:02:41,458
It's the fifth one this week.
79
00:02:41,491 --> 00:02:43,428
It's so sad that
someone's targeting bodegas.
80
00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:45,196
They're part of the fabric of New York.
81
00:02:45,228 --> 00:02:46,997
- You shop at them a lot?
- No. They overcharge
82
00:02:47,031 --> 00:02:48,132
for everything, and they sell rat poison
83
00:02:48,164 --> 00:02:49,434
right next to the bananas.
84
00:02:49,466 --> 00:02:51,202
Yeah, they're gross.
I hope they never change.
85
00:02:51,234 --> 00:02:52,436
Anyway, Holt wants us to interview
86
00:02:52,470 --> 00:02:54,104
some of the bodega owners and figure out
87
00:02:54,138 --> 00:02:55,673
where to assign
additional uniformed officers.
88
00:02:55,705 --> 00:02:57,208
I put a map up on the server...
89
00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,142
No! Just email it to me.
90
00:02:59,175 --> 00:03:00,978
I hate servers. Bye!
91
00:03:01,012 --> 00:03:02,312
Wait. Why'd you close
your laptop so fast?
92
00:03:02,346 --> 00:03:04,115
- What are you hiding?
- Nurthing.
93
00:03:04,148 --> 00:03:05,383
- You're hiding something.
- What?
94
00:03:05,416 --> 00:03:07,651
- Just 'cause I said "nurthing"?
- Yes.
95
00:03:07,685 --> 00:03:09,988
No!
96
00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:12,089
Aww, you're looking at wedding dresses?
97
00:03:12,122 --> 00:03:14,057
- That one's dope.
- That's not what I was doing.
98
00:03:14,090 --> 00:03:15,592
My computer must've gone
to this site on its own.
99
00:03:15,626 --> 00:03:17,662
- How is that possible?
- It's broken, Y2K.
100
00:03:17,694 --> 00:03:18,997
I'll fix it.
101
00:03:20,163 --> 00:03:21,531
There, it's fixed.
102
00:03:21,565 --> 00:03:23,201
- You're weird.
- I know.
103
00:03:23,233 --> 00:03:24,702
Oh, God. My truck.
104
00:03:24,735 --> 00:03:26,270
This truck was my baby!
105
00:03:26,303 --> 00:03:27,771
All right, look, Charles,
I know you're upset,
106
00:03:27,805 --> 00:03:29,207
but maybe there's a silver lining here.
107
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:31,508
- I mean, you had insurance, right?
- Yeah. I already called them.
108
00:03:31,541 --> 00:03:32,995
So maybe you'll get some money for this,
109
00:03:33,026 --> 00:03:35,079
and you can pay off your debts,
starting with Amy.
110
00:03:35,111 --> 00:03:36,680
I'm sorry, that was selfish.
Forget I said it.
111
00:03:36,714 --> 00:03:38,516
You can pay off your debts,
starting with Amy.
112
00:03:38,548 --> 00:03:39,683
Whoops, I did it again.
113
00:03:39,716 --> 00:03:41,351
You're right. This is my way out.
114
00:03:41,384 --> 00:03:42,353
It's a miracle.
115
00:03:42,385 --> 00:03:43,487
Oh, my God!
116
00:03:43,521 --> 00:03:45,156
Jake? Boyle?
117
00:03:45,189 --> 00:03:46,691
Adrian. What are you doing here?
118
00:03:46,723 --> 00:03:47,791
I'm an insurance investigator now.
119
00:03:47,824 --> 00:03:49,259
I thought you were in Alaska.
120
00:03:49,293 --> 00:03:51,295
Oh, yeah, I was,
after Rosa and I broke up,
121
00:03:51,327 --> 00:03:52,496
but then I accidentally killed
122
00:03:52,529 --> 00:03:55,065
a "protected buffalo"... self-defense.
123
00:03:55,098 --> 00:03:57,735
Next thing I know, Fish and Game
are all over my ass.
124
00:03:57,767 --> 00:03:59,369
I ended up in a fight with a bear,
125
00:03:59,403 --> 00:04:01,472
and I had to think to myself,
why am I even here?
126
00:04:01,505 --> 00:04:03,307
Wait a minute. You fought a bear?
127
00:04:03,339 --> 00:04:04,642
Big time. The trick on that:
128
00:04:04,675 --> 00:04:06,511
head-butt him in the penis,
push him over a cliff.
129
00:04:06,543 --> 00:04:08,111
Ah, I bet that works
with a lot of animals.
130
00:04:08,144 --> 00:04:09,346
Only the male ones.
131
00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:10,714
- Learned that the hard way.
- Hmm.
132
00:04:10,747 --> 00:04:12,182
Anyway, you know that if you guys want
133
00:04:12,216 --> 00:04:13,817
to get in touch with me,
there's easier ways
134
00:04:13,851 --> 00:04:15,485
than burning down your truck, right?
135
00:04:15,519 --> 00:04:17,388
What? Burning down my truck?
136
00:04:17,420 --> 00:04:19,690
Yeah, it's obviously arson, you did it,
137
00:04:19,723 --> 00:04:20,824
you're not gonna get a dime
138
00:04:20,858 --> 00:04:22,393
and are probably gonna go to jail.
139
00:04:22,425 --> 00:04:24,970
So... what's going on with you guys?
140
00:04:24,995 --> 00:04:27,345
Give me that juicy
Nine-Nine goss, am I right?
141
00:04:32,596 --> 00:04:33,921
This is insane.
142
00:04:33,946 --> 00:04:36,164
I mean, Charles loved this truck.
It's his baby.
143
00:04:36,189 --> 00:04:37,388
There's no way he'd burn it down.
144
00:04:37,442 --> 00:04:38,862
The world is a messed up place, Jake.
145
00:04:38,894 --> 00:04:39,895
People kill their babies.
146
00:04:39,928 --> 00:04:41,130
Babies kill their parents.
147
00:04:41,163 --> 00:04:42,832
It's the circle of life.
148
00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:45,235
- That was clearly a triangle.
- Okay, fine, busted.
149
00:04:45,267 --> 00:04:47,002
I just had the stove's gas line cleaned.
150
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:48,704
Maybe it was put back in wrong
or something.
151
00:04:48,738 --> 00:04:50,906
Look, I've caught
enough arsonists in my day
152
00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:52,207
to know that the owner always does it.
153
00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:53,854
Chuck, how's the truck been doing?
154
00:04:53,879 --> 00:04:55,070
- Pretty terrible.
- Hmm?
155
00:04:55,110 --> 00:04:56,779
I was just saying,
it's a miracle it burned down.
156
00:04:56,812 --> 00:04:58,433
Okay, I know Charles
sounds hella guilty right now,
157
00:04:58,458 --> 00:04:59,615
but you know he didn't do it.
158
00:04:59,649 --> 00:05:00,676
Charles, this isn't
looking good for you.
159
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,395
Anybody else that might have
done this? Any enemies?
160
00:05:02,431 --> 00:05:03,633
Well, my dad's best friend and I
161
00:05:03,665 --> 00:05:05,104
have a pretty intense rivalry,
162
00:05:05,129 --> 00:05:06,703
but I don't think my aunt
would do anything illegal.
163
00:05:06,736 --> 00:05:07,938
Oh, my God.
164
00:05:07,970 --> 00:05:09,872
Wait. The rice pudding truck guy!
165
00:05:09,905 --> 00:05:11,907
Oh, my God. That bastard Troy.
166
00:05:11,941 --> 00:05:14,386
We just got into a fight
about this very parking spot.
167
00:05:14,411 --> 00:05:16,378
- He said I'd regret it.
- Yeah, and that's what happened.
168
00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:17,414
You're regretting it!
169
00:05:17,446 --> 00:05:19,019
Come on, you know
we didn't commit arson.
170
00:05:19,044 --> 00:05:20,816
- Adrian, this is us.
- Not the TV show.
171
00:05:20,841 --> 00:05:22,087
- We are your friends.
- Not the movie.
172
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,188
- You got to have faith.
- Not the song.
173
00:05:23,221 --> 00:05:24,356
Are you doing this on purpose?
174
00:05:24,388 --> 00:05:25,378
- The third one, yes.
- Okay.
175
00:05:25,403 --> 00:05:27,526
I'll admit, arson does seem
out of character for you.
176
00:05:27,551 --> 00:05:29,049
Okay, look me in the eyes.
177
00:05:29,144 --> 00:05:32,548
Look me in the eyes like the bear did.
178
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,091
Okay.
179
00:05:41,124 --> 00:05:43,059
I believe you, and together,
180
00:05:43,091 --> 00:05:45,065
we're gonna catch the SOB that did this.
181
00:05:47,030 --> 00:05:48,832
I'm so glad he didn't
head-butt me in the penis.
182
00:05:48,865 --> 00:05:50,479
That's all I was thinking about.
183
00:05:50,766 --> 00:05:52,002
Cheddar!
184
00:05:52,035 --> 00:05:53,603
- That's a really good job.
- Stay, stay.
185
00:05:53,636 --> 00:05:55,806
What's going on here?
Why is Cheddar here?
186
00:05:55,838 --> 00:05:56,939
And why is he in swim trunks?
187
00:05:56,973 --> 00:05:58,475
Because the little sailor outfit
188
00:05:58,507 --> 00:06:00,009
- wouldn't fit his tush.
- Excuse me?
189
00:06:00,043 --> 00:06:01,677
We're setting you up a Twitter account,
190
00:06:01,711 --> 00:06:02,879
and the fastest way to get followers
191
00:06:02,911 --> 00:06:04,113
is cute animal pics.
192
00:06:04,146 --> 00:06:05,714
I follow an account that's just
193
00:06:05,747 --> 00:06:08,194
this one real grouchy chinchilla.
194
00:06:08,219 --> 00:06:09,755
He hates waking up so much!
195
00:06:09,787 --> 00:06:11,890
He really does. He's like "Ooh!"
196
00:06:11,924 --> 00:06:13,191
This is ridiculous.
197
00:06:13,224 --> 00:06:14,893
This has nothing to do with police work.
198
00:06:14,926 --> 00:06:16,261
Exactly. It's about being noticed,
199
00:06:16,294 --> 00:06:18,164
and right now, no one is noticing you.
200
00:06:18,196 --> 00:06:19,864
I didn't even realize we were talking
201
00:06:19,897 --> 00:06:21,232
to a third party, presently.
202
00:06:21,265 --> 00:06:23,234
Fine. If you really
think it's necessary,
203
00:06:23,268 --> 00:06:25,671
I will establish
a social media presence.
204
00:06:25,703 --> 00:06:27,038
But I'll be setting up my own accounts,
205
00:06:27,071 --> 00:06:28,306
and I assure you,
206
00:06:28,340 --> 00:06:31,176
I won't be resorting to foolish gimmicks
involving my dog.
207
00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:33,044
Uh, you might want
to rethink that stance,
208
00:06:33,078 --> 00:06:35,313
because how cute would Cheddar
look in this hat?
209
00:06:35,347 --> 00:06:37,282
Please. When it comes to clothes,
210
00:06:37,316 --> 00:06:39,818
Cheddar wears little booties
in the snow,
211
00:06:39,852 --> 00:06:42,322
or Cheddar wears nothing.
212
00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:45,290
Troy's not home, but I say we wait.
213
00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:48,126
I have some hard questions
for that rice pudding bastard.
214
00:06:48,159 --> 00:06:50,662
So, Adrian, how's life
as an insurance investigator?
215
00:06:50,695 --> 00:06:52,097
It's amazing. At Gray Star Mutual,
216
00:06:52,131 --> 00:06:54,166
they let me do whatever I want,
217
00:06:54,198 --> 00:06:56,335
as long as I'm getting that job
done, and you know I am.
218
00:06:56,368 --> 00:06:58,304
Last week, I waterboarded a dude.
219
00:06:58,337 --> 00:07:00,072
- Oh, that's not legal.
- Doesn't matter.
220
00:07:00,104 --> 00:07:02,174
I'm not a cop.
Anyway, what's up with you guys?
221
00:07:02,207 --> 00:07:03,643
Hey, Jake, who you porking?
222
00:07:03,676 --> 00:07:07,212
Uh, I guess Amy and I are still...
223
00:07:07,246 --> 00:07:09,215
- I don't want to say it.
- Yep.
224
00:07:09,248 --> 00:07:11,217
- Porking.
- Yeah, you are. Nice.
225
00:07:11,250 --> 00:07:12,685
Actually, we got engaged.
226
00:07:12,717 --> 00:07:14,186
What the hell? How come I didn't know?
227
00:07:14,219 --> 00:07:15,788
I thought we were supposed
to be friends.
228
00:07:15,820 --> 00:07:18,090
Oh, wait a minute.
Did this, like, just happen?
229
00:07:18,123 --> 00:07:20,092
Well, it was at Halloween.
230
00:07:20,125 --> 00:07:21,727
Wha... no, that's so long ago!
231
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,829
Charles, are you just
finding out about this too?
232
00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:25,097
No, I was there.
233
00:07:25,130 --> 00:07:26,731
You were there? Who else?
234
00:07:26,765 --> 00:07:27,967
Who else got to be a part of this?
235
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,336
Nobody, you know, just...
236
00:07:30,368 --> 00:07:31,837
Holt and...
237
00:07:31,869 --> 00:07:33,239
- Terry and Rosa.
- Okay.
238
00:07:33,272 --> 00:07:35,074
- And Hitchcock and Scully.
- Seriously?
239
00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:36,275
And this creepy guy named Bill.
240
00:07:36,308 --> 00:07:38,177
Oh, come on! I'm the creepy guy
241
00:07:38,209 --> 00:07:40,111
that's supposed to be at stuff
that you have happen.
242
00:07:40,145 --> 00:07:41,746
Look, you just left town,
243
00:07:41,780 --> 00:07:43,683
and we don't exactly have
a text relationship...
244
00:07:43,716 --> 00:07:44,784
How dare you?
245
00:07:44,817 --> 00:07:46,885
May 10th, I texted you,
246
00:07:46,919 --> 00:07:48,453
I'm at the Gaga concert, you here,
247
00:07:48,486 --> 00:07:50,322
question mark, question mark,
question mark.
248
00:07:50,355 --> 00:07:53,259
You texted back, No. Frowny face.
249
00:07:53,291 --> 00:07:55,160
Look, I've been really busy.
I'm sorry, okay?
250
00:07:55,193 --> 00:07:56,962
I understand.
251
00:07:56,995 --> 00:07:59,265
You know, I just didn't hear
about this one thing.
252
00:07:59,298 --> 00:08:01,133
I mean, I can't imagine
there are any other
253
00:08:01,165 --> 00:08:04,035
major milestones that I've missed.
254
00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:05,337
- Are there?
- I mean, Amy's a sergeant.
255
00:08:05,370 --> 00:08:06,405
- No.
- And Holt's up
256
00:08:06,438 --> 00:08:08,106
- for commissioner.
- Seriously?
257
00:08:08,140 --> 00:08:10,009
And Dr. Ronald Yee came to the precinct
258
00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:11,242
and taught a course on forensics.
259
00:08:11,275 --> 00:08:13,011
The Dr. Ronald Yee?
260
00:08:13,044 --> 00:08:14,246
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my God!
261
00:08:14,279 --> 00:08:16,423
- Yee was in the building?
- Yeah.
262
00:08:16,448 --> 00:08:17,908
Wow, didn't realize
the Yee news was up there
263
00:08:17,933 --> 00:08:19,284
- with the other stuff.
- Oh, come on, Jake.
264
00:08:19,318 --> 00:08:21,953
Yee only wrote the book on
forensic facial reconstruction.
265
00:08:21,986 --> 00:08:23,255
He's a rock star!
266
00:08:23,288 --> 00:08:24,924
You guys could have texted me, but no,
267
00:08:24,957 --> 00:08:28,159
because I bet you haven't
thought about me once
268
00:08:28,193 --> 00:08:29,761
since I dumped Rosa.
269
00:08:29,794 --> 00:08:31,262
- Did you dump her?
- You know what?
270
00:08:31,295 --> 00:08:33,799
I need some air. I'm storming out.
271
00:08:33,832 --> 00:08:36,202
I'm storming out!
272
00:08:36,235 --> 00:08:38,104
So I can spare four uniformed officers
273
00:08:38,136 --> 00:08:40,438
to do hourly pass-bys
of the bodegas south of 4th,
274
00:08:40,472 --> 00:08:43,174
and I'll coordinate with the, um...
275
00:08:43,207 --> 00:08:44,342
hourly pass-bys of the...
276
00:08:44,376 --> 00:08:45,810
Wait. What was that?
277
00:08:45,843 --> 00:08:47,378
That was me talking about
hourly pass-bys.
278
00:08:47,411 --> 00:08:49,280
Oh, yeah, I heard about
the hourly pass-bys.
279
00:08:49,313 --> 00:08:51,317
Twice. I meant...
280
00:08:51,350 --> 00:08:53,786
That subtle side look.
281
00:08:53,818 --> 00:08:55,187
There was no subtle side look.
282
00:08:55,220 --> 00:08:56,422
You're right, 'cause it wasn't subtle.
283
00:08:56,454 --> 00:08:59,257
It was an unsubtle side look at...
284
00:08:59,290 --> 00:09:00,425
that dress in the shop.
285
00:09:00,458 --> 00:09:01,960
Why are you being such a nutjob
286
00:09:01,994 --> 00:09:03,295
about looking for a wedding dress?
287
00:09:03,328 --> 00:09:06,064
Because being
a female sergeant is difficult.
288
00:09:06,097 --> 00:09:07,265
I have to work twice as hard
289
00:09:07,299 --> 00:09:08,800
to gain my officers' respect,
290
00:09:08,833 --> 00:09:11,203
and looking at girly dresses
isn't going to help.
291
00:09:11,236 --> 00:09:14,073
Plus, it's a new job, and I need
to make it a priority.
292
00:09:14,106 --> 00:09:15,474
Dude, I get that, but if you want
293
00:09:15,506 --> 00:09:18,010
a beautiful wedding dress,
you deserve to find one.
294
00:09:18,043 --> 00:09:19,078
Look, there are no cops around.
295
00:09:19,111 --> 00:09:20,379
Nobody's gonna see you.
296
00:09:20,411 --> 00:09:21,979
Why don't we just take our break now,
297
00:09:22,004 --> 00:09:23,005
try one on?
298
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:24,565
- Okay?
- Okay.
299
00:09:24,590 --> 00:09:25,994
- Okay?
- Okay.
300
00:09:26,019 --> 00:09:27,085
- Okay?
- Okay.
301
00:09:27,119 --> 00:09:29,522
Hell yeah!
302
00:09:29,554 --> 00:09:30,522
They are closed.
303
00:09:30,555 --> 00:09:32,223
- We will come back later.
- Yeah.
304
00:09:32,256 --> 00:09:34,359
Where did Adrian go? He seemed upset.
305
00:09:34,392 --> 00:09:35,827
- Should we be worried?
- Always.
306
00:09:35,861 --> 00:09:38,097
We should always be worried about him.
307
00:09:38,130 --> 00:09:39,832
Jake. Look, look.
308
00:09:39,873 --> 00:09:42,315
Excuse me, Troy Lunniker, we are...
309
00:09:42,370 --> 00:09:44,026
I know exactly who you are,
you spot-stealing
310
00:09:44,073 --> 00:09:45,445
- son of a bitch!
- I didn't steal your spot!
311
00:09:45,470 --> 00:09:46,505
- You were too slow, you idiot!
- You did steal my spot, man.
312
00:09:46,538 --> 00:09:47,737
You with the horrible meatballs.
313
00:09:47,769 --> 00:09:49,107
You should call them crap balls, man!
314
00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:50,275
Oh, my food tastes like crap?
315
00:09:50,308 --> 00:09:51,977
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Stop.
316
00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:53,312
- Crap balls.
- Hey!
317
00:09:53,345 --> 00:09:54,947
Look, Detective Boyle's truck
burned down.
318
00:09:54,980 --> 00:09:56,315
Yeah, and you did it.
319
00:09:56,347 --> 00:09:57,817
You torched my truck,
and you're going to jail.
320
00:09:57,850 --> 00:09:59,985
Whoa. Someone burned down your truck?
321
00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:01,920
I'm sorry, man, but I would
never do anything like that.
322
00:10:01,953 --> 00:10:03,155
I swear it wasn't me.
323
00:10:03,188 --> 00:10:04,823
Well, I'd love to believe you, Troy,
324
00:10:04,856 --> 00:10:07,392
but I'm afraid we're gonna need
to see some proof.
325
00:10:07,425 --> 00:10:09,127
Oh, my God, he had so much proof.
326
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,595
I can't believe he was on "Cash Cab"
327
00:10:10,629 --> 00:10:12,131
at the exact moment
my truck burned down.
328
00:10:12,164 --> 00:10:13,399
And he did so well.
329
00:10:13,432 --> 00:10:15,366
He named every member of The Monkees.
330
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,236
- He even got Tork.
- No one gets Tork.
331
00:10:17,269 --> 00:10:18,437
I know. All right, so if it wasn't Troy,
332
00:10:18,470 --> 00:10:20,306
the question is, who could it have been?
333
00:10:21,139 --> 00:10:22,106
What's up, jerks?
334
00:10:23,342 --> 00:10:24,909
Pimento, you broke into my house?
335
00:10:24,943 --> 00:10:26,511
Yeah. I'm an insurance investigator.
336
00:10:26,544 --> 00:10:28,847
- I can do whatever I want.
- What are you doing here?
337
00:10:28,881 --> 00:10:30,882
I'm working the case.
I'm looking for clues.
338
00:10:30,915 --> 00:10:32,984
Come on, you already said
Charles couldn't do this.
339
00:10:33,017 --> 00:10:34,152
- I couldn't do it.
- That's what I thought.
340
00:10:34,185 --> 00:10:35,420
But then I realized,
341
00:10:35,453 --> 00:10:37,455
if you can hide your engagement from me,
342
00:10:37,488 --> 00:10:40,124
what else are you capable of hiding?
343
00:10:40,158 --> 00:10:41,594
Oh, right. Arson!
344
00:10:41,626 --> 00:10:43,429
Come on, don't you think
that's a bit of a stretch?
345
00:10:43,462 --> 00:10:45,097
Is it? Lab tests came back
346
00:10:45,130 --> 00:10:47,933
and said the accelerant used
in the fire was turpentine.
347
00:10:47,966 --> 00:10:51,937
And look what I found
in Boyle's wife's closet.
348
00:10:51,970 --> 00:10:53,572
Looks to me a lot like turpentine.
349
00:10:53,605 --> 00:10:56,942
Oh, I wouldn't do that.
350
00:10:56,975 --> 00:10:58,444
Turpentine, just like I thought.
351
00:10:58,477 --> 00:11:00,612
That's Genevieve's.
She uses it for her paintings.
352
00:11:00,645 --> 00:11:04,449
Oh, likely story.
353
00:11:04,482 --> 00:11:07,085
If that's the case,
then how do you explain this
354
00:11:07,119 --> 00:11:08,087
that I found on your fridge?
355
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:09,087
My wedding invitation?
356
00:11:09,121 --> 00:11:10,456
Aha, so you admit it.
357
00:11:10,488 --> 00:11:12,357
Invites have gone out,
and I didn't get one!
358
00:11:12,390 --> 00:11:14,459
Oh, well, well, well.
359
00:11:14,492 --> 00:11:16,462
Now you both are gonna pay.
360
00:11:16,495 --> 00:11:17,897
- Adrian.
- Hey, come on.
361
00:11:17,929 --> 00:11:19,231
Oh, I thought you were
reaching for a gun.
362
00:11:19,264 --> 00:11:20,332
Oh, no, my friend.
363
00:11:20,365 --> 00:11:22,001
This is much worse than a gun.
364
00:11:22,034 --> 00:11:23,168
This is a stamp,
365
00:11:23,201 --> 00:11:24,503
a stamp that says...
366
00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:27,205
Denied.
367
00:11:27,238 --> 00:11:29,641
Your claim is denied.
368
00:11:38,528 --> 00:11:40,163
Do you really think
the insurance company
369
00:11:40,188 --> 00:11:42,593
will replace Adrian
as the investigator on my case?
370
00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:43,844
Yeah. It's Gray Star Mutual...
371
00:11:43,876 --> 00:11:45,310
"Where the feeling is mutual."
372
00:11:45,343 --> 00:11:48,647
And right now we're feeling
like we want a new investigator.
373
00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:49,714
Hi, I'm Travis.
374
00:11:49,747 --> 00:11:51,182
I've been reviewing your appeal.
375
00:11:51,216 --> 00:11:53,252
I understand you have a problem
with Mr. Pimento.
376
00:11:53,285 --> 00:11:54,719
Yes, we sort of have
377
00:11:54,752 --> 00:11:56,689
a complicated preexisting relationship,
378
00:11:56,722 --> 00:11:58,256
which I think is a conflict of interest.
379
00:11:58,290 --> 00:11:59,824
Okay, I'll be honest,
380
00:11:59,857 --> 00:12:02,261
we've had some problems
with Mr. Pimento before.
381
00:12:02,294 --> 00:12:04,429
I think he may have
broken into my apartment once.
382
00:12:04,463 --> 00:12:06,265
Oh, you'd know.
He leaves a lot of hair behind.
383
00:12:06,298 --> 00:12:07,732
- He's a shedder.
- Mm-hmm.
384
00:12:07,766 --> 00:12:09,267
Okay. I'll talk to my supervisor,
385
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:10,301
see what can be done.
386
00:12:10,334 --> 00:12:11,936
Great. Thank you very much.
387
00:12:11,969 --> 00:12:14,673
See, Charles?
Things are starting to look up.
388
00:12:14,707 --> 00:12:15,808
Up your butt!
389
00:12:15,841 --> 00:12:17,677
Adrian! What a coincidence.
390
00:12:17,709 --> 00:12:19,691
We were just...
filing a complaint about you.
391
00:12:19,730 --> 00:12:20,670
You were obviously listening.
392
00:12:20,713 --> 00:12:21,680
I don't know why I'm trying to lie.
393
00:12:21,713 --> 00:12:22,948
Oh, we're locked in. Great.
394
00:12:22,981 --> 00:12:24,750
First you cut me out of your lives,
395
00:12:24,782 --> 00:12:26,818
then you try and get me fired?
396
00:12:26,852 --> 00:12:28,420
My therapist was right about you guys.
397
00:12:28,453 --> 00:12:30,989
- You're a couple of dinguses.
- You have a therapist?
398
00:12:31,022 --> 00:12:32,724
Yeah, he's helping me work on
my rotator cuff.
399
00:12:32,757 --> 00:12:33,925
Oh, I see, it's a physical therapist.
400
00:12:33,958 --> 00:12:36,094
Oh, he's very physical, Charles.
401
00:12:36,127 --> 00:12:37,463
Very physical.
402
00:12:40,766 --> 00:12:41,901
So what do you think?
403
00:12:41,934 --> 00:12:43,968
Mm, I don't love the sash.
404
00:12:44,002 --> 00:12:45,704
But it's fine. I'm just gonna get it.
405
00:12:45,737 --> 00:12:47,272
What? That's the first one you tried on.
406
00:12:47,305 --> 00:12:50,376
I once saw you look at 54
different accordion folders
407
00:12:50,409 --> 00:12:52,878
and not buy any of them
due to weak tabs.
408
00:12:52,910 --> 00:12:55,213
I file hard. I need strong tabs.
409
00:12:55,247 --> 00:12:57,717
I just don't want to take up
any more time.
410
00:12:57,750 --> 00:12:59,852
Your break's not even a quarter done.
411
00:12:59,885 --> 00:13:00,986
I'll stay another ten minutes.
412
00:13:01,019 --> 00:13:02,354
You'll stay until I dismiss you.
413
00:13:02,386 --> 00:13:04,625
Irene, music.
414
00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:06,033
Now spin.
415
00:13:06,058 --> 00:13:08,260
All units, attempted 1030-Charlie.
416
00:13:08,293 --> 00:13:10,896
Bodega on Smith.
Perp is heading east on Baltic.
417
00:13:10,929 --> 00:13:13,466
That's us! We're on Baltic.
418
00:13:13,498 --> 00:13:16,000
Oh, crap. That was him!
419
00:13:16,034 --> 00:13:17,002
Hey!
420
00:13:18,170 --> 00:13:19,738
NYPD, stop!
421
00:13:24,309 --> 00:13:26,011
Hey!
422
00:13:35,820 --> 00:13:37,756
- Stay down!
- Damn, sarge.
423
00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:39,759
Maybe I do like the sash.
424
00:13:39,791 --> 00:13:40,992
Sir, brace yourself.
425
00:13:41,026 --> 00:13:42,962
Olivia Crawford just tweeted a post
426
00:13:42,995 --> 00:13:44,396
of an officer carrying a woman
427
00:13:44,429 --> 00:13:45,964
through knee-deep flood waters.
428
00:13:45,997 --> 00:13:48,166
Spoiler alert:
they are of different races.
429
00:13:48,199 --> 00:13:49,468
Terry teared up.
430
00:13:49,501 --> 00:13:51,103
I love when calamity brings
people together.
431
00:13:51,136 --> 00:13:53,439
Sir, it got another retweet
from the mayor.
432
00:13:53,472 --> 00:13:55,074
It got a retweet from the governor.
433
00:13:55,107 --> 00:13:56,876
Well, I have already set up my accounts,
434
00:13:56,909 --> 00:13:59,311
and not to toot my own bugle,
435
00:13:59,343 --> 00:14:01,146
but I think I did an admirable job.
436
00:14:01,179 --> 00:14:03,381
Oh, okay, what's your handle?
I'll be your first follower.
437
00:14:03,415 --> 00:14:10,923
It's @5261796d6e6420486f6c74.
438
00:14:10,955 --> 00:14:13,291
It spells "Raymond Holt"
in hexadecimal code.
439
00:14:13,324 --> 00:14:15,127
- Clever, right?
- Captain, are you sure
440
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:16,529
you wouldn't like some help with this?
441
00:14:16,561 --> 00:14:18,363
Oh, no need. Now, for my first tweet,
442
00:14:18,396 --> 00:14:20,431
I think I should give an update
on the water main break
443
00:14:20,464 --> 00:14:22,100
that's actually informative.
444
00:14:22,133 --> 00:14:28,072
"NYC H20-Main SITREP: at 2040 EDT
445
00:14:28,106 --> 00:14:34,313
current PSI 456 MAX CAP 204000 LPM."
446
00:14:34,346 --> 00:14:37,850
Suck on that tasty lemon drop,
Olivia Crawford.
447
00:14:37,882 --> 00:14:39,484
Oh, look at that. An alert.
448
00:14:39,517 --> 00:14:41,186
I'm probably trending already.
449
00:14:41,219 --> 00:14:43,021
What? My account has been deactivated?
450
00:14:43,054 --> 00:14:44,455
Twitter thinks you're a bot.
451
00:14:44,488 --> 00:14:46,559
Why? I am a human.
452
00:14:46,592 --> 00:14:47,902
I am a human male.
453
00:14:49,394 --> 00:14:50,496
Adrian, open up.
454
00:14:50,529 --> 00:14:51,831
Get out of here, Travis!
455
00:14:51,863 --> 00:14:52,931
Come on, Adrian, admit it.
456
00:14:52,964 --> 00:14:54,232
You have a conflict of interest.
457
00:14:54,266 --> 00:14:56,001
How could I have a conflict of interest?
458
00:14:56,034 --> 00:14:57,903
We barely have a relationship.
459
00:14:57,935 --> 00:14:59,370
We're not even friends anymore.
460
00:14:59,404 --> 00:15:01,607
- You saw to that, didn't you?
- That's crazy.
461
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,309
We may have lost touch,
but we're still friends.
462
00:15:03,342 --> 00:15:06,245
Oh, is that right, Jake?
Are we still friends?
463
00:15:06,277 --> 00:15:08,513
If that's the case, then when
did I lose my virginity?
464
00:15:08,546 --> 00:15:09,881
Oh, man, you've told us
465
00:15:09,915 --> 00:15:11,516
so many intense graphic sex stories.
466
00:15:11,550 --> 00:15:13,986
I have! But a true friend
467
00:15:14,019 --> 00:15:16,222
always remembers a friend's first.
468
00:15:16,255 --> 00:15:18,523
Jake, we know this!
It's got to be one of the swamps.
469
00:15:18,556 --> 00:15:20,526
Uh, Florida swamp,
or Okefenokee Swamp, or...
470
00:15:20,559 --> 00:15:21,861
oh, was it a bayou?
471
00:15:21,894 --> 00:15:22,928
No, no, no! I've got it.
472
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,128
Summer of '91, at a screening
473
00:15:24,161 --> 00:15:25,564
of "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves."
474
00:15:25,597 --> 00:15:28,434
Well done.
It was Bryan Adams' soundtrack
475
00:15:28,467 --> 00:15:31,136
and Kevin Costner's
flawless British accent
476
00:15:31,169 --> 00:15:34,073
that put us in the mood to get gross.
477
00:15:34,106 --> 00:15:36,008
Next question. Favorite shape?
478
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,208
- Oval?
- Of course!
479
00:15:37,242 --> 00:15:39,144
- Favorite scent?
- Trick question.
480
00:15:39,176 --> 00:15:41,146
You lost your sense of smell in a...
481
00:15:41,179 --> 00:15:42,213
Shipwreck!
482
00:15:42,247 --> 00:15:44,349
Guys, we are friends!
483
00:15:44,382 --> 00:15:47,285
Aww, I love you guys.
484
00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:50,188
Are you still angry?
485
00:15:50,222 --> 00:15:51,891
No, that was a cathartic scream of love.
486
00:15:51,924 --> 00:15:52,891
- Understood.
- Good.
487
00:15:52,925 --> 00:15:53,925
Well, anyways, I'm sorry
488
00:15:53,958 --> 00:15:54,993
about how things went down, man.
489
00:15:55,026 --> 00:15:56,295
We should have stayed in touch.
490
00:15:56,328 --> 00:15:58,163
No, it's just as much my fault as yours.
491
00:15:58,195 --> 00:16:00,031
I could have kept in touch with you guys
492
00:16:00,064 --> 00:16:02,166
and probably should have
told you about my new family.
493
00:16:02,199 --> 00:16:03,268
Your new what now?
494
00:16:03,301 --> 00:16:05,303
Ah, Travis. Great, you're here.
495
00:16:05,337 --> 00:16:07,573
These gentlemen are innocent
and are free to go.
496
00:16:07,606 --> 00:16:09,375
- You're fired, Adrian.
- What?
497
00:16:09,407 --> 00:16:12,111
And as for you, my supervisor
and I reviewed your case.
498
00:16:12,143 --> 00:16:14,112
Turpentine is all the proof
we need to deny your claim.
499
00:16:14,145 --> 00:16:17,182
The feeling wasn't mutual.
500
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:22,438
You're so lame, you know that, Travis?
501
00:16:22,485 --> 00:16:24,438
Wait a second.
Is this just because I did molly
502
00:16:24,508 --> 00:16:26,042
- with your daughter?
- You did?
503
00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:27,437
Don't think he knew about that.
504
00:16:27,462 --> 00:16:28,866
Just don't ever come back here again.
505
00:16:28,891 --> 00:16:30,282
If you do, I'll have you arrested.
506
00:16:30,315 --> 00:16:31,749
How dare you?
507
00:16:31,774 --> 00:16:33,151
I gave you the best two weeks
of my life!
508
00:16:33,185 --> 00:16:35,821
Oh, guys, I'm so screwed.
We got no leads.
509
00:16:35,853 --> 00:16:36,821
I'm not gonna get any of the money back.
510
00:16:36,855 --> 00:16:38,090
What do we do?
511
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,325
We go directly
to Travis' house right now,
512
00:16:40,359 --> 00:16:41,726
pee on everything he owns,
513
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:42,929
and then burn that place to the ground.
514
00:16:42,962 --> 00:16:44,096
- Adrian, that's it.
- It is?
515
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,665
- Yes! I knew it!
- No, no, no.
516
00:16:45,697 --> 00:16:47,198
Not anything about anything you said.
517
00:16:47,232 --> 00:16:49,001
But, Charles, didn't you just
tell me you fired someone?
518
00:16:49,033 --> 00:16:50,902
Yeah, Ted. I took him out to dinner.
519
00:16:50,936 --> 00:16:52,170
He thought he was getting a promotion.
520
00:16:52,204 --> 00:16:53,424
It was a whole thing.
521
00:16:53,449 --> 00:16:54,907
He wept a lot. Not as much as me...
522
00:16:54,939 --> 00:16:56,620
Yeah, but the point is,
he was upset, right?
523
00:16:56,645 --> 00:16:58,385
And he knew where you liked
to park the truck.
524
00:16:58,410 --> 00:17:01,314
Uh-huh. And he never gave me
my key back.
525
00:17:01,347 --> 00:17:03,316
He said he lost it.
You really think it's him?
526
00:17:03,349 --> 00:17:04,621
I mean, it's just a hunch, but...
527
00:17:04,646 --> 00:17:06,051
We should go to his house
and burn it down.
528
00:17:06,084 --> 00:17:07,319
I was gonna say we could go investigate.
529
00:17:07,352 --> 00:17:08,587
Sure, sure, sure.
530
00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:09,788
And then burn it to the ground.
531
00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:11,357
No. No burning of anything!
532
00:17:11,389 --> 00:17:12,871
What? I already got the match lit.
533
00:17:12,925 --> 00:17:14,791
- How?
- Let's hurry up and get there.
534
00:17:15,293 --> 00:17:17,836
Captain, I'm trying
to get your account reinstated,
535
00:17:17,861 --> 00:17:18,965
but it could take a while.
536
00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:20,617
They say they have a lot of Nazi stuff
537
00:17:20,642 --> 00:17:21,633
on the front burner.
538
00:17:21,667 --> 00:17:22,642
And when you tweet again,
539
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,837
you should probably stop
communicating in numbers, kay?
540
00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:26,805
There's a 0% chance of that.
541
00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:28,073
Besides, I won't be tweeting anymore.
542
00:17:28,107 --> 00:17:29,709
I just got off the phone with the head
543
00:17:29,742 --> 00:17:31,077
- of the selection committee.
- You did?
544
00:17:31,109 --> 00:17:33,079
Apparently, one of
the candidates for commissioner
545
00:17:33,111 --> 00:17:35,246
tweeted a picture
of the water main break
546
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,016
and accidentally included a link
547
00:17:37,049 --> 00:17:38,718
to his favorite pornographic website...
548
00:17:38,751 --> 00:17:40,186
- Mm.
- Cosplay-butts-n-boobs.com.
549
00:17:40,218 --> 00:17:41,219
Amateur move.
550
00:17:41,253 --> 00:17:43,321
You should never copy-paste
if you're a perv.
551
00:17:43,355 --> 00:17:45,825
It's quite the scandal.
The candidate has dropped out.
552
00:17:45,858 --> 00:17:47,126
It's down to just three of us now.
553
00:17:47,158 --> 00:17:49,762
So I guess this proves
I was right all along.
554
00:17:49,794 --> 00:17:51,630
Social media... it's a fool's game,
555
00:17:51,664 --> 00:17:52,998
and only a fool would play.
556
00:17:53,046 --> 00:17:54,047
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
557
00:17:54,079 --> 00:17:56,951
And why is Cheddar wearing a beret?
558
00:17:58,551 --> 00:17:59,986
Uh...
559
00:18:00,019 --> 00:18:02,154
Kevin saw your photos and was amused,
560
00:18:02,188 --> 00:18:04,725
so we started an Instagram
account for Cheddar,
561
00:18:04,758 --> 00:18:07,227
who now has over 14,000 followers.
562
00:18:07,259 --> 00:18:08,529
Hoo-whee!
563
00:18:08,561 --> 00:18:10,129
It's an incredible feeling.
564
00:18:10,163 --> 00:18:11,731
This is insulting.
565
00:18:11,765 --> 00:18:13,233
First you fire me in front of my family.
566
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:14,868
Ooh, Charles,
his family was at the dinner?
567
00:18:14,901 --> 00:18:15,936
It was not well-handled.
568
00:18:15,969 --> 00:18:16,970
Now you accuse me of arson.
569
00:18:17,002 --> 00:18:18,137
Just get out of my garage.
570
00:18:18,171 --> 00:18:19,573
Hey, Ted?
571
00:18:19,606 --> 00:18:21,141
How come you have all this turpentine?
572
00:18:21,173 --> 00:18:23,777
And this plastic bag filled with
matches and magnesium strips.
573
00:18:23,809 --> 00:18:25,144
I found it buried under the back porch,
574
00:18:25,177 --> 00:18:27,079
and I'm no expert, but it seems like
575
00:18:27,113 --> 00:18:30,116
that's the kind of stuff you'd
use to light a fire, right?
576
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:32,219
Oh, there he goes.
577
00:18:34,654 --> 00:18:37,023
Say it with me, Jake.
578
00:18:37,057 --> 00:18:37,958
You've been...
579
00:18:37,990 --> 00:18:39,692
- Denied!
- Butt-slammed!
580
00:18:39,725 --> 00:18:41,994
- Wait, what?
- Denied, like the stamp?
581
00:18:42,028 --> 00:18:44,964
Oh, that is so much better.
582
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:47,134
"Butt-slammed" is so stupid.
583
00:18:47,968 --> 00:18:49,836
Oh, is that the wedding dress
584
00:18:49,868 --> 00:18:52,172
from the Erica Somerfield
2018 fall collection?
585
00:18:52,204 --> 00:18:54,206
No way, the bodice is totally different.
586
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,143
Why do you two know so much
about wedding dresses?
587
00:18:56,175 --> 00:18:57,843
They're the only thing
you can look at around here
588
00:18:57,876 --> 00:18:59,011
with safe search on!
589
00:18:59,045 --> 00:19:00,614
All right, that's enough.
590
00:19:00,646 --> 00:19:01,914
Can we all get back to police work
591
00:19:01,948 --> 00:19:03,917
and stop talking about wedding dresses?
592
00:19:03,950 --> 00:19:05,652
No. We're gonna talk about them,
593
00:19:05,684 --> 00:19:07,186
because while wearing a wedding dress,
594
00:19:07,220 --> 00:19:08,654
you leapt over a couch,
595
00:19:08,688 --> 00:19:10,257
sprinted down an alley,
and jumped off a car
596
00:19:10,289 --> 00:19:12,792
to subdue the crap out of a perp
like you were Wonder Woman.
597
00:19:12,826 --> 00:19:14,126
It was pretty cool, wasn't it?
598
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,863
Amy, you are an amazing cop
and a great leader,
599
00:19:16,895 --> 00:19:18,865
and you have proven that
a billion times over.
600
00:19:18,897 --> 00:19:20,600
You can't let other people's
opinions get in the way
601
00:19:20,634 --> 00:19:22,336
of what you want, especially
because other people suck.
602
00:19:22,368 --> 00:19:23,936
Well, if I'm being honest,
603
00:19:23,970 --> 00:19:25,238
- I would like a prettier dress.
- There you go.
604
00:19:25,270 --> 00:19:26,839
And I would like it to have some lace.
605
00:19:26,873 --> 00:19:28,075
- Uh-huh.
- And a sweetheart neckline,
606
00:19:28,107 --> 00:19:29,809
- thank you very much.
- What else?
607
00:19:29,843 --> 00:19:31,612
And I want a mermaid cut
with tulip sleeves.
608
00:19:31,644 --> 00:19:32,945
Say it again. Say it loud.
609
00:19:32,979 --> 00:19:36,750
A mermaid cut
with tulip frickin' sleeves!
610
00:19:36,782 --> 00:19:38,684
Pimento's here! All right!
611
00:19:38,718 --> 00:19:39,952
Thanks so much for that text, man.
612
00:19:39,986 --> 00:19:41,254
- That meant a lot.
- The one that said,
613
00:19:41,287 --> 00:19:43,023
- "Want to grab a drink tonight?"
- Yeah.
614
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:44,857
Hey, Boyle, did you get
that insurance payout?
615
00:19:44,891 --> 00:19:46,360
Yes, I am out
of the food truck business,
616
00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:48,483
and I no longer start
spontaneously weeping.
617
00:19:48,508 --> 00:19:51,031
- Nice.
- Listen, I'm sorry you got fired.
618
00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:52,932
Oh, don't worry about it.
I got myself fired, all right?
619
00:19:52,965 --> 00:19:55,334
Plus, doesn't matter.
I got a way better job now.
620
00:19:55,367 --> 00:19:58,105
I'm working at one of those
fancy hand lotion stores.
621
00:19:58,137 --> 00:19:59,972
Spoiler alert: I have a gun again,
622
00:20:00,006 --> 00:20:02,175
and I've gotten to use it three times.
623
00:20:02,208 --> 00:20:04,711
You would be surprised
how often teenage girls
624
00:20:04,743 --> 00:20:06,466
try and shoplift mango hand cream.
625
00:20:06,491 --> 00:20:08,715
- Huh.
- But it smells great!
626
00:20:08,748 --> 00:20:10,017
- I love it.
- I can get you some.
627
00:20:10,049 --> 00:20:11,851
Well, listen, man,
I've got something for you.
628
00:20:11,884 --> 00:20:12,986
Really? For me?
629
00:20:13,019 --> 00:20:14,020
It's an invitation to my wedding.
630
00:20:14,054 --> 00:20:16,356
Aw, Jake, I am so honored
631
00:20:16,388 --> 00:20:17,397
and would love to be...
632
00:20:17,422 --> 00:20:19,059
oh, nope, I can't make this.
633
00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:20,694
This is the same night as Lady Gaga.
634
00:20:20,727 --> 00:20:21,928
Oh, thank God. I didn't run it by Amy,
635
00:20:21,961 --> 00:20:23,430
so this worked out great for both of us!
636
00:20:23,462 --> 00:20:24,798
But honestly,
637
00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:25,965
nobody's gonna come to this,
638
00:20:25,999 --> 00:20:27,401
because everybody's gonna be at Gaga.
639
00:20:27,433 --> 00:20:28,969
- Not a doctor.
- Shh.
640
00:20:29,008 --> 00:20:34,008
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com