1
00:00:05,543 --> 00:00:07,705
I've just received the email
about whether I've gotten
2
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:08,908
the job as commissioner.
3
00:00:09,900 --> 00:00:12,569
Well, from the look on my face, I'm
sure you can guess what it says.
4
00:00:13,270 --> 00:00:15,705
No. We have no idea at all.
5
00:00:15,740 --> 00:00:17,307
Just tell us, you monster.
6
00:00:17,341 --> 00:00:18,708
Really? No one noticed the slight
7
00:00:18,743 --> 00:00:20,522
tension in my labial commissure?
8
00:00:21,946 --> 00:00:23,803
- My lips. I'm smiling.
- Wait, you're smiling?
9
00:00:23,839 --> 00:00:25,273
Wait, we're allowed
to say "labia" again?
10
00:00:25,309 --> 00:00:26,715
- Wait, you got it?
- I got it.
11
00:00:26,751 --> 00:00:27,951
Ohh!
12
00:00:27,985 --> 00:00:30,053
- Labia.
- Commissioner Raymond Holt.
13
00:00:30,087 --> 00:00:31,997
- Labia.
- You gotta stop right now, Hitchcock.
14
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:33,141
We need to celebrate.
15
00:00:33,177 --> 00:00:34,662
Ooh, we need music.
16
00:00:34,698 --> 00:00:37,560
Ooh-ohh, ohh, I brought a
"Jock Jams" CD for the wedding.
17
00:00:37,595 --> 00:00:39,767
- Oh, we didn't talk about that.
- It was gonna be a surprise.
18
00:00:39,803 --> 00:00:41,517
Our first dance was gonna be
the "Tootsee Roll."
19
00:00:41,553 --> 00:00:43,227
Oh, no, and we didn't get to do it.
20
00:00:43,263 --> 00:00:44,797
I know. All right, nobody move.
21
00:00:44,833 --> 00:00:46,009
I'm gonna go get the CD.
22
00:00:47,271 --> 00:00:48,772
I want to thank you all.
23
00:00:48,806 --> 00:00:50,907
What an incredible moment.
24
00:00:50,941 --> 00:00:53,009
30 years of struggle and sacrifice.
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00:00:53,044 --> 00:00:55,111
But it was worth it, because
I finally get to read
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00:00:55,146 --> 00:00:57,580
the ten words I've longed to hear:
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"Raymond Holt, you are not
the"... oops.
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00:01:00,473 --> 00:01:01,784
I misread the email.
29
00:01:01,820 --> 00:01:03,049
Didn't see the "not."
30
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So...
31
00:01:04,922 --> 00:01:08,009
I will not be the new commissioner.
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00:01:08,045 --> 00:01:09,946
♪ Y'all ready for this ♪
33
00:01:11,398 --> 00:01:12,865
Jock jam.
34
00:01:12,901 --> 00:01:14,502
Whoo...
35
00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:17,801
Why is on one else dancing?
36
00:01:17,835 --> 00:01:19,102
Did I miss something?
37
00:01:19,136 --> 00:01:20,637
Feels like I missed something.
38
00:01:20,671 --> 00:01:22,539
I'll just keep going until
someone tells me to...
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00:01:22,573 --> 00:01:24,071
- Stop, Jake.
- All right.
40
00:01:38,372 --> 00:01:42,372
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
41
00:01:44,161 --> 00:01:47,397
So Captain Holt is taking
another personal day.
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00:01:47,431 --> 00:01:50,467
In his absence, I will be
running things around here.
43
00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:51,912
That's not true. I'm in charge.
44
00:01:51,948 --> 00:01:55,336
Mm, no, it's gonna be more of
a Westeros free-for-all, okay?
45
00:01:55,372 --> 00:01:56,376
Who will bend a knee?
46
00:01:56,412 --> 00:01:57,867
- I will.
- Nobody's bending anything.
47
00:01:57,903 --> 00:01:58,945
Let's get started.
48
00:01:58,981 --> 00:02:00,804
Sarge, is Captain Holt all right?
He never miss work.
49
00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:05,041
He said he was at a 49 and
improving at 8.6% a day.
50
00:02:05,077 --> 00:02:06,477
So I guess he'll be in soon.
51
00:02:06,513 --> 00:02:07,846
Now, we have two...
52
00:02:07,882 --> 00:02:09,751
Guess who just got paid, y'all.
53
00:02:09,787 --> 00:02:11,821
That's right. We got
stacks on stacks on stacks.
54
00:02:11,856 --> 00:02:13,356
Whoa. Where's all that cash from?
55
00:02:13,390 --> 00:02:15,925
Well, my brilliant wife
found a crazy loophole
56
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,160
called "wedding insurance."
57
00:02:17,194 --> 00:02:18,161
It's very common.
58
00:02:18,195 --> 00:02:19,529
It's like renter's insurance.
59
00:02:19,563 --> 00:02:20,697
Oh, my God. Do we have that too?
60
00:02:20,731 --> 00:02:22,232
- Yes.
- You are a wizard.
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00:02:22,266 --> 00:02:24,834
The point is, we are getting
refunded in full,
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00:02:24,869 --> 00:02:27,871
so we are going on a
super-deluxe, five-star
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00:02:27,905 --> 00:02:29,273
mega-baller honeymoon.
64
00:02:29,309 --> 00:02:31,407
So you're not just going to
the Berkshires anymore?
65
00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:34,033
Screw that crap hole. It's a dump,
and anyone who goes there is garbage.
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00:02:34,069 --> 00:02:36,406
I was gonna take Sharon there
for a romantic weekend.
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00:02:36,442 --> 00:02:38,509
Oh, well, congratulations, ya poor.
68
00:02:38,716 --> 00:02:40,450
I am so sorry.
Money really changes you.
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00:02:40,484 --> 00:02:42,752
The resort is called Posadita Bonita.
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And it's in Mexico.
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Great food, great beaches,
and when I saw
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"Ay caramba" there,
I'll fit right in.
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00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:48,289
I don't think so.
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00:02:48,325 --> 00:02:49,859
Isn't that the place that Gina
is always talking about,
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00:02:49,895 --> 00:02:51,694
because she gets referral
rewards points?
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00:02:51,729 --> 00:02:52,697
Why, yes, it is.
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00:02:52,733 --> 00:02:54,963
Don't forget to use code GINA30
at checkout.
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It's super intimate and super fancy.
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00:02:57,225 --> 00:02:59,383
And when we're there,
there's only one rule.
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00:02:59,419 --> 00:03:01,487
A.B.C.
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00:03:01,523 --> 00:03:02,868
Always be coconuting.
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00:03:02,904 --> 00:03:05,306
At all times, we will either
be drinking from, eating,
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00:03:05,342 --> 00:03:07,262
or wearing a coconut.
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00:03:07,778 --> 00:03:10,914
_
85
00:03:10,948 --> 00:03:13,049
Oh, this place is amazing.
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I've never had sex
outside the United States.
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00:03:14,752 --> 00:03:15,752
What are you thinking about?
88
00:03:15,786 --> 00:03:17,420
Weirdly, the same thing.
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00:03:17,454 --> 00:03:18,888
- Whoa.
- Welcome to paradise.
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00:03:18,923 --> 00:03:20,423
- Margarita?
- Yes, I would love one.
91
00:03:20,457 --> 00:03:23,993
But is there any way you
could put it in a coconut?
92
00:03:24,028 --> 00:03:25,228
It will be my pleasure, sir.
93
00:03:25,262 --> 00:03:26,479
Oh, thank you.
94
00:03:26,515 --> 00:03:28,665
I requested a ridiculous thing,
and he's doing it.
95
00:03:28,699 --> 00:03:30,600
Quick, think of more stupid
stuff we can ask for.
96
00:03:30,634 --> 00:03:33,069
Grapes. Sorry, I panicked.
And I couldn't think of anything.
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00:03:33,103 --> 00:03:34,404
No, no, no, grapes is perfect.
98
00:03:34,438 --> 00:03:36,072
Excuse me, sir, is there any way
99
00:03:36,106 --> 00:03:37,511
you could get my wife some grapes?
100
00:03:37,547 --> 00:03:39,214
- Yes, sir, right away.
- He's running.
101
00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:40,653
He's running for the grapes.
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00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:42,011
Here are your drinks
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00:03:42,046 --> 00:03:45,085
and a lovers' toolbox
from a Mr. Boyle.
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00:03:45,121 --> 00:03:47,397
Ah, thank you so much.
We will never open this.
105
00:03:47,433 --> 00:03:48,756
Oh, my God, Jake, look.
106
00:03:48,792 --> 00:03:50,111
Yes, the grapes.
107
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:52,281
Oh, and you brought cheese.
I don't even want cheese.
108
00:03:52,317 --> 00:03:53,918
No, Jake, in the lounge.
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00:03:54,983 --> 00:03:56,001
Captain Holt?
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00:03:56,519 --> 00:03:57,527
Peralta?
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00:03:58,562 --> 00:04:00,102
Ay caramba.
112
00:04:00,631 --> 00:04:02,966
Gina, what the hell?
113
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,155
New phone, who dis?
114
00:04:04,191 --> 00:04:05,602
You can't do that in person.
115
00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:06,733
It's Charles.
116
00:04:07,136 --> 00:04:08,638
Boyle. Your coworker.
117
00:04:08,672 --> 00:04:10,139
Oh, hey, Charles.
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00:04:10,174 --> 00:04:12,396
I just found out that
your mom left my dad.
119
00:04:12,517 --> 00:04:13,684
They're getting divorced.
120
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,044
Eh, they had a good run.
121
00:04:15,079 --> 00:04:16,946
Fun fact: The average
American marriage
122
00:04:16,981 --> 00:04:18,314
lasts fewer than two days.
123
00:04:18,349 --> 00:04:20,116
- That's not true.
- It doesn't have to be.
124
00:04:20,150 --> 00:04:21,217
It's commentary.
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00:04:21,252 --> 00:04:22,885
Well, you know who didn't
think it was a good run?
126
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,363
My daddy, Lynn Boyle.
127
00:04:24,399 --> 00:04:25,566
He's inconsolable.
128
00:04:25,602 --> 00:04:26,902
Well, I'm sure he'll get over it.
129
00:04:26,924 --> 00:04:28,691
No, Boyles don't "get over it."
130
00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:30,059
It becomes part of us.
131
00:04:30,094 --> 00:04:32,228
It lives within us. It eats us out.
132
00:04:32,263 --> 00:04:33,896
We have to get them back together.
133
00:04:33,931 --> 00:04:35,298
- Pass.
- Well, I'm doing it with
134
00:04:35,332 --> 00:04:37,033
- or without your help.
- Okay, without.
135
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:38,635
Okay, you called my bluff.
It has to be with your help.
136
00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:39,836
And I'm not taking no for an answer.
137
00:04:39,870 --> 00:04:40,837
- No.
- Okay, you did it again.
138
00:04:40,871 --> 00:04:42,138
Why are you like this?
139
00:04:42,172 --> 00:04:43,216
I don't know.
140
00:04:44,578 --> 00:04:46,509
Hey, Sarge, I have a problem,
and I would ask Holt,
141
00:04:46,543 --> 00:04:49,942
- but since he's not back...
- You came to Top Dog Terry.
142
00:04:49,978 --> 00:04:51,014
Smart move.
143
00:04:51,048 --> 00:04:53,600
I've been solving problems
all day long.
144
00:04:54,807 --> 00:04:56,986
Okay, so you know that meth
case I've been working on
145
00:04:57,021 --> 00:04:58,267
for the last two months?
146
00:04:58,303 --> 00:05:00,221
The Department of Sanitation
police want to poach it
147
00:05:00,257 --> 00:05:01,758
from me, because the drugs
were found in a dumpster.
148
00:05:01,792 --> 00:05:02,841
They're saying it's garbage-related.
149
00:05:02,877 --> 00:05:03,926
This is an easy one.
150
00:05:03,961 --> 00:05:05,186
Tell them to screw off.
151
00:05:05,462 --> 00:05:07,161
See? Problem solved.
152
00:05:08,230 --> 00:05:10,166
Yeah, well, I did that,
and they threatened to make
153
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:11,263
a formal complaint to the mayor.
154
00:05:11,299 --> 00:05:12,729
Then just let them have the case.
155
00:05:12,765 --> 00:05:14,065
Problem solved.
156
00:05:15,103 --> 00:05:16,803
Terry, I've been working
on it for two months,
157
00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:18,566
and those dummies are gonna blow it.
158
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:22,777
Right. Well, you could
partner up with sanitation.
159
00:05:22,813 --> 00:05:24,349
Problem solved? Woof-woof?
160
00:05:24,385 --> 00:05:26,849
Nope. Headquarters won't allow it
due to budgetary reasons.
161
00:05:26,884 --> 00:05:28,885
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
162
00:05:28,919 --> 00:05:31,020
You know, Captain Holt was
writing an instruction manual
163
00:05:31,055 --> 00:05:33,022
for his replacement in case
he was named commissioner.
164
00:05:33,057 --> 00:05:34,057
Maybe he could tell you what to do.
165
00:05:34,091 --> 00:05:35,304
That's not necessary.
166
00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:37,727
Top Dog Terry can make a decision.
167
00:05:37,761 --> 00:05:38,761
And what would that be?
168
00:05:41,231 --> 00:05:43,535
Does Top Dog Terry want a
moment to think about it?
169
00:05:44,295 --> 00:05:45,317
Woof-woof.
170
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,369
Since the rejection, a great
sadness has enveloped me.
171
00:05:48,405 --> 00:05:50,440
I kept expecting this
dark feeling to pass,
172
00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:51,709
but it's only gotten worse.
173
00:05:51,745 --> 00:05:53,379
Not getting the job you want stinks.
174
00:05:53,577 --> 00:05:55,978
In first grade, I was passed
over for line leader,
175
00:05:56,013 --> 00:05:57,192
and I'm still pissed.
176
00:05:57,228 --> 00:06:00,581
Kyle D.'s lines had curves
and gaps and cutting galore.
177
00:06:00,617 --> 00:06:01,918
It was a frickin' carnival.
178
00:06:01,952 --> 00:06:03,553
Yeah. What's a line leader?
179
00:06:03,587 --> 00:06:04,954
Well, it's not just that
I didn't get the job.
180
00:06:04,988 --> 00:06:06,389
It's that John Kelly did.
181
00:06:06,423 --> 00:06:10,393
He's already released a memo detailing
his "vigilant policing" initiative.
182
00:06:10,427 --> 00:06:12,261
It's essentially a return
to stop and frisk.
183
00:06:12,296 --> 00:06:15,965
Choosing him is a betrayal
of everything I stand for.
184
00:06:15,999 --> 00:06:17,800
I feel the same way about Kyle D.
185
00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:19,769
I tried to suck it up
and go back to work.
186
00:06:19,803 --> 00:06:21,337
I put on my uniform
and got in my car.
187
00:06:21,372 --> 00:06:24,633
And next thing I knew,
I was on a plane to Mexico.
188
00:06:24,755 --> 00:06:26,003
I didn't even pack a bag.
189
00:06:26,039 --> 00:06:28,845
I bought a bundle of novelty
shirts at a nearby gift shop.
190
00:06:28,879 --> 00:06:30,879
This one says, "What's up, beaches?"
191
00:06:30,915 --> 00:06:33,082
Instead of "bitches"
for humor reasons.
192
00:06:33,117 --> 00:06:35,318
- But you hate humor.
- Well, I'm a joke now,
193
00:06:35,352 --> 00:06:36,953
so it suits me.
194
00:06:36,987 --> 00:06:40,456
Mm-kay. But, how did
you end up here in Mexico
195
00:06:40,491 --> 00:06:42,658
at the exact same tiny resort as us?
196
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:44,661
Gina's been talking up
this place up for years.
197
00:06:44,697 --> 00:06:46,794
Referral Code GINA30.
198
00:06:46,830 --> 00:06:49,031
I had no idea you'd be here.
199
00:06:49,066 --> 00:06:50,666
You know what? It's fine, sir.
200
00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:52,635
A lot of people go on their
honeymoon with their boss.
201
00:06:52,669 --> 00:06:54,003
Nope, I thought if I said it out loud
202
00:06:54,037 --> 00:06:55,037
it would normalize it,
but it's weird.
203
00:06:55,072 --> 00:06:56,105
It's gonna be okay.
204
00:06:56,140 --> 00:06:57,237
How long are you staying, sir?
205
00:06:57,273 --> 00:06:58,975
Just until I get my head right.
206
00:06:59,009 --> 00:07:01,475
But don't worry.
I'll steer clear of you two.
207
00:07:01,511 --> 00:07:02,741
You won't even know I'm here.
208
00:07:03,601 --> 00:07:05,300
This place is so romantic.
209
00:07:05,336 --> 00:07:08,950
Yeah, and so... intimate.
210
00:07:08,986 --> 00:07:11,320
Don't worry.
I'm not listening to you.
211
00:07:11,355 --> 00:07:13,697
I'm just thinking about
how this sea bass is cold
212
00:07:14,057 --> 00:07:16,504
but not as cold and cruel
as the hands of fate
213
00:07:16,540 --> 00:07:20,199
that have thrust my entire life
into darkness.
214
00:07:20,998 --> 00:07:22,465
Ah, damn it.
215
00:07:22,499 --> 00:07:23,895
I just ordered the sea bass.
216
00:07:24,876 --> 00:07:27,076
Ahh, babe, this is so nice.
217
00:07:27,110 --> 00:07:29,295
There are hot stones on
our butts for no reason.
218
00:07:29,331 --> 00:07:30,339
Not on mine.
219
00:07:30,375 --> 00:07:31,943
My butt stones keep falling off,
220
00:07:31,979 --> 00:07:34,281
because I'm so tense about Holt
being here and ruining everything.
221
00:07:34,317 --> 00:07:36,070
- It hasn't been that bad.
- Really?
222
00:07:37,621 --> 00:07:39,355
Oops. Sorry.
223
00:07:39,391 --> 00:07:40,856
Can't even float right.
224
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,357
Just push me away.
225
00:07:42,690 --> 00:07:43,826
Everyone else does.
226
00:07:44,126 --> 00:07:47,762
It's not great, but as long
as we stay in here, we're safe.
227
00:07:48,191 --> 00:07:49,464
Peralta, Santiago I'm in your room.
228
00:07:49,498 --> 00:07:51,032
What? How?
229
00:07:51,067 --> 00:07:52,996
Patio door was open
I pushed through the hedge.
230
00:07:53,032 --> 00:07:56,252
Tell me, what is it about me
that screams loser?
231
00:07:56,288 --> 00:07:57,855
Yeah, you know,
we're kind of in the middle
232
00:07:57,890 --> 00:07:59,524
of gettin' massages right now, sir.
233
00:07:59,558 --> 00:08:00,992
Oh, how thoughtless of me.
234
00:08:01,026 --> 00:08:02,894
I'll get down here so you can
see my face.
235
00:08:02,928 --> 00:08:04,091
Oh, no, that's...
236
00:08:04,363 --> 00:08:07,498
Hello. The question was,
what is it about me
237
00:08:07,533 --> 00:08:10,706
that screams loser?
238
00:08:11,339 --> 00:08:14,038
I can't figure out what went
wrong between our parents.
239
00:08:14,073 --> 00:08:15,162
They were so in love.
240
00:08:15,198 --> 00:08:17,073
Oh, okay, so we're having
a conversation?
241
00:08:17,109 --> 00:08:18,319
No, to get them back together,
242
00:08:18,355 --> 00:08:19,877
we need to know what happened.
Did your mom tell you?
243
00:08:19,912 --> 00:08:20,945
- Nope.
- Damn it.
244
00:08:20,979 --> 00:08:22,030
Okay, let's brainstorm.
245
00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:24,309
It could be that my dad is too
clingy or too masculine.
246
00:08:24,345 --> 00:08:26,084
You know what? I'm going
to play a game on my phone
247
00:08:26,118 --> 00:08:27,685
while you go on this little journey.
248
00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,058
He overshares, he's indecisive,
249
00:08:30,117 --> 00:08:31,384
he's always crying.
250
00:08:31,420 --> 00:08:32,590
Oh, I made it inside the temple.
251
00:08:32,624 --> 00:08:34,192
He wears a kimono a lot.
252
00:08:34,226 --> 00:08:35,693
I became a hawk. I have talons.
253
00:08:35,728 --> 00:08:36,837
Well, he can't keep a secret.
254
00:08:36,873 --> 00:08:38,098
He has a clinically loose pelvis.
255
00:08:38,134 --> 00:08:40,563
Okay, that did break through.
I heard "loose pelvis."
256
00:08:40,599 --> 00:08:41,933
Charles, you've got to stop.
257
00:08:41,967 --> 00:08:43,114
It's none of those things.
258
00:08:43,150 --> 00:08:44,769
Wait. You said your mom
didn't tell you anything.
259
00:08:44,803 --> 00:08:46,404
- Do you know what happened?
- Yes, I do.
260
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:47,872
And it's none of your
business, Charles.
261
00:08:47,906 --> 00:08:50,375
Just stop sticking your nose
where it doesn't belong.
262
00:08:50,409 --> 00:08:51,387
Really, Gina.
263
00:08:51,423 --> 00:08:54,395
And where does my nose belong
if not inside our parents?
264
00:08:55,030 --> 00:08:56,714
Okay, so we can get away from Holt.
265
00:08:56,749 --> 00:08:58,149
I mean, should we tell him to leave,
266
00:08:58,183 --> 00:08:59,150
that he's ruining our honeymoon?
267
00:08:59,184 --> 00:09:00,276
No, we can't.
268
00:09:00,312 --> 00:09:02,977
That would crush him, and
he's already so crushed.
269
00:09:03,756 --> 00:09:05,123
Wait, I got it.
270
00:09:05,157 --> 00:09:06,124
We kill Holt.
271
00:09:06,158 --> 00:09:07,031
No.
272
00:09:07,067 --> 00:09:09,394
No, that was crazy for
a multitude of reasons.
273
00:09:09,428 --> 00:09:11,396
We have a bunch of fun
activities planned.
274
00:09:11,430 --> 00:09:14,632
If we include him, it'll cheer
him up, and he'll leave.
275
00:09:14,666 --> 00:09:17,068
Right, but aren't most
of our activities
276
00:09:17,104 --> 00:09:18,497
kind of geared towards couples?
277
00:09:18,533 --> 00:09:20,679
Name one couples' activity
that wouldn't be more fun
278
00:09:20,715 --> 00:09:21,835
with your boss there.
279
00:09:21,871 --> 00:09:23,973
Welcome to Sensual Food Tasting:
280
00:09:24,009 --> 00:09:26,210
The Art of Feeding Your Lover.
281
00:09:26,244 --> 00:09:27,487
I feel like I don't belong here.
282
00:09:27,913 --> 00:09:31,215
Mm, I love how the mud
revitalizes your skin.
283
00:09:31,249 --> 00:09:33,297
And I love how it masks my shame.
284
00:09:33,414 --> 00:09:35,282
I am loving this.
285
00:09:35,318 --> 00:09:37,166
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
286
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:38,569
Mmm.
287
00:09:39,191 --> 00:09:40,487
This is actually quite pleasant.
288
00:09:41,026 --> 00:09:44,151
You know, when you invited me to
join you today, I was skeptical.
289
00:09:44,187 --> 00:09:45,983
I had been sitting by the pool
290
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:48,921
contentedly watching a bee
struggle to avoid drowning
291
00:09:48,957 --> 00:09:51,525
and thinking to myself
how I am like that bee.
292
00:09:51,561 --> 00:09:52,653
Man, I hope it survived.
293
00:09:52,689 --> 00:09:53,911
We can't afford to lose
any more bees.
294
00:09:53,947 --> 00:09:56,273
It didn't. The point
is that I am glad
295
00:09:56,308 --> 00:09:57,908
you invited me into
your frivolous activities.
296
00:09:57,943 --> 00:09:59,677
You helped me to remember
there's more to life
297
00:09:59,711 --> 00:10:00,779
than the NYPD.
298
00:10:00,815 --> 00:10:02,914
Wow, that's great to hear, sir.
299
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,050
I feel a lot better.
300
00:10:04,086 --> 00:10:05,288
I think I may be heading home.
301
00:10:05,324 --> 00:10:07,759
Unless you need a third
for tonight's activities.
302
00:10:07,795 --> 00:10:09,177
- What are we...
- Sensual pottery.
303
00:10:09,213 --> 00:10:10,201
I think we're good.
304
00:10:10,623 --> 00:10:12,587
Sarge, I keep getting calls
about my drug case from...
305
00:10:12,623 --> 00:10:13,956
What the hell is going on?
306
00:10:13,992 --> 00:10:16,226
Nothing. Just deciding
what to do about
307
00:10:16,262 --> 00:10:18,763
your sanitation issue, like a boss.
308
00:10:18,799 --> 00:10:20,133
You're looking for Captain
Holt's manual aren't you?
309
00:10:20,169 --> 00:10:21,143
Please, Diaz.
310
00:10:21,179 --> 00:10:24,041
Top Dog Terry does not need to
look for Captain Holt's manual.
311
00:10:24,704 --> 00:10:26,104
He knows it's on his computer.
312
00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:27,774
Top Dog Terry was
looking for the password.
313
00:10:27,956 --> 00:10:29,990
Why don't you just
make your own decision?
314
00:10:30,026 --> 00:10:31,945
I did that, and I'm very proud of it.
315
00:10:31,981 --> 00:10:34,011
I just want to make sure
Captain Holt would make
316
00:10:34,045 --> 00:10:35,814
the same decision so I
can be proud of him too.
317
00:10:36,148 --> 00:10:38,349
Gina. Do you know
Captain Holt's password?
318
00:10:38,383 --> 00:10:41,018
Oh, Terry, just because
I know all your passwords
319
00:10:41,052 --> 00:10:42,678
doesn't mean I know Captain Holt's.
320
00:10:42,714 --> 00:10:44,288
Okay, well, we could
probably guess it.
321
00:10:44,322 --> 00:10:47,191
Why don't you try
BaldByChoice or PecMan
322
00:10:47,225 --> 00:10:49,126
or MacklemoreEnthusiast?
323
00:10:49,161 --> 00:10:51,644
Stop saying my passwords. Damn, Gina.
324
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:53,374
Now Terry's got to
update his keychain.
325
00:10:53,410 --> 00:10:56,212
Start simple. Kevin with a capital K
and a 1 instead of an I.
326
00:10:56,248 --> 00:10:57,749
Oh, I feel good about that.
327
00:11:00,499 --> 00:11:02,734
Locked out? Too many failed attempts?
328
00:11:02,770 --> 00:11:04,158
I only guessed once.
329
00:11:05,110 --> 00:11:07,672
Computer will now delete hard drive?
330
00:11:08,119 --> 00:11:09,419
I've got to fix this.
331
00:11:11,678 --> 00:11:13,152
Good. You fixed it.
332
00:11:13,258 --> 00:11:14,777
He's leaving. Our plan worked.
333
00:11:14,813 --> 00:11:16,821
We saved our own honeymoon,
and fun bonus,
334
00:11:16,855 --> 00:11:18,030
- we cheered up Holt.
- Yes.
335
00:11:18,066 --> 00:11:19,723
Okay, it's time to celebrate.
336
00:11:19,758 --> 00:11:21,258
You know what that means.
337
00:11:21,293 --> 00:11:23,360
This B needs a C in her A.
338
00:11:23,395 --> 00:11:24,629
Oh, my God.
339
00:11:24,665 --> 00:11:26,163
This babe needs a
coconut in her arms.
340
00:11:26,198 --> 00:11:28,989
Oh, I thought you were saying
341
00:11:29,025 --> 00:11:30,321
this [bleep] needs a [bleep]
in her [bleep].
342
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,891
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, that was my reaction.
343
00:11:31,927 --> 00:11:33,395
All right, I'll go get us a
couple of coconuts.
344
00:11:33,872 --> 00:11:35,506
Ahh, hey there, Captain.
345
00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:37,374
Haven't seen you looking this
happy since they picked up
346
00:11:37,409 --> 00:11:39,077
"The Durrells in Corfu"
for a fourth season.
347
00:11:39,113 --> 00:11:41,748
Yes, well, I've reached the
best part of every vacation:
348
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:42,889
reviewing the charges.
349
00:11:42,925 --> 00:11:44,359
Well, don't let me interrupt.
Have a safe flight.
350
00:11:44,395 --> 00:11:46,029
And I'll see you back
at the Nine-Nine.
351
00:11:46,065 --> 00:11:48,050
No, you won't; I'll never be
going back there again.
352
00:11:48,086 --> 00:11:50,054
What? Why? I'm confused.
353
00:11:50,088 --> 00:11:52,523
You and Amy made me see
that there's more to life
354
00:11:52,557 --> 00:11:55,054
than the NYPD, so I'm quitting.
355
00:11:55,651 --> 00:11:57,418
Oh.
356
00:11:57,570 --> 00:12:01,706
Well... what a satisfying result
357
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,697
that we all were hoping would occur.
358
00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:07,970
Hold on. So let's
just back up a second.
359
00:12:08,004 --> 00:12:10,105
When you say you're quitting,
you mean quitting
360
00:12:10,139 --> 00:12:11,423
for, like, a couple of weeks,
and then you'll come back
361
00:12:11,459 --> 00:12:12,953
Jordan-style with a new badge number?
362
00:12:12,989 --> 00:12:14,475
No, I mean, quitting permanently,
363
00:12:14,511 --> 00:12:16,661
I'm putting in my resignation
as soon as I get back home.
364
00:12:16,697 --> 00:12:18,151
I better hurry if I want
to be at the airport
365
00:12:18,187 --> 00:12:19,654
six hours ahead of my flight.
366
00:12:19,943 --> 00:12:22,012
Hey, you know what?
I should drive you there.
367
00:12:22,048 --> 00:12:23,841
Will you come with me to grab
my keys from the room?
368
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:27,345
Okay, they're just
right in here, so...
369
00:12:30,371 --> 00:12:31,438
You're not leaving this room.
370
00:12:31,474 --> 00:12:33,732
- What the hell is going on?
- I can't let you quit.
371
00:12:33,768 --> 00:12:36,611
Yes, but why the candles
and rose petals?
372
00:12:37,545 --> 00:12:39,713
- Wuh-oh.
- Is that Mr. McClane I hear?
373
00:12:39,749 --> 00:12:43,834
'Cause someone's about to Die
Harrr... oh, my God.
374
00:12:43,870 --> 00:12:44,949
Why is Captain Holt here?
375
00:12:44,985 --> 00:12:47,139
Because he's gonna... wait,
are you dressed like
376
00:12:47,175 --> 00:12:48,375
Bonnie Bedelia in "Die Hard?"
377
00:12:48,410 --> 00:12:49,810
- I am.
- For sexy reasons?
378
00:12:49,845 --> 00:12:51,241
- Yes.
- Oh, boy.
379
00:12:51,277 --> 00:12:52,296
Jake, why is he here?
380
00:12:52,332 --> 00:12:53,556
Because he's quitting the force,
381
00:12:53,592 --> 00:12:55,026
so I brought him
to convince him not to,
382
00:12:55,062 --> 00:12:56,630
but obviously that is
not important anymore.
383
00:12:56,666 --> 00:12:58,233
All right, Captain,
it's been a good run.
384
00:12:58,269 --> 00:12:59,583
Thank you for teaching me
the importance of a tie
385
00:12:59,619 --> 00:13:00,824
in the workplace, and the door
is right over here.
386
00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:03,118
Whoa, whoa, wait. What?
You're quitting?
387
00:13:03,154 --> 00:13:05,122
- Yes, I am.
- No, you're not.
388
00:13:05,158 --> 00:13:06,329
We're keeping you right here.
389
00:13:06,365 --> 00:13:08,219
How are you going to do that?
Physically restrain me?
390
00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:09,222
Great idea.
391
00:13:09,258 --> 00:13:10,792
Is there anything in Charles's
box of nightmares
392
00:13:10,828 --> 00:13:12,244
that could be used to tie up Holt?
393
00:13:13,635 --> 00:13:16,620
Yes. Literally everything in here
could be used to tie up a person.
394
00:13:17,081 --> 00:13:19,882
Wow, Terry, put Captain
Holt's computer back together?
395
00:13:19,918 --> 00:13:21,486
- Looks great.
- Sure did.
396
00:13:21,522 --> 00:13:23,823
Couldn't find room inside
for this stuff, though.
397
00:13:23,979 --> 00:13:25,946
Well, is there any chance
the info on in computer
398
00:13:25,981 --> 00:13:27,348
was maybe saved to the cloud?
399
00:13:27,382 --> 00:13:28,400
I don't know.
400
00:13:28,436 --> 00:13:31,752
Gina, was Captain Holt's hard
drive backed up to the cloud?
401
00:13:31,786 --> 00:13:33,420
- Yeah.
- Then why did you let me try
402
00:13:33,455 --> 00:13:34,488
to rebuild his computer?
403
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:35,721
Because I'm a rascal.
404
00:13:35,922 --> 00:13:39,759
Okay, so I just log onto
the cloud as Captain Holt
405
00:13:39,795 --> 00:13:42,430
and click "forgot password"
406
00:13:42,466 --> 00:13:44,601
and answer his security questions.
407
00:13:44,637 --> 00:13:46,553
First up: What is God?
408
00:13:47,836 --> 00:13:48,769
Hey, Gina.
409
00:13:48,803 --> 00:13:50,804
Did you see "Real Housewives"
last night?
410
00:13:50,839 --> 00:13:53,329
If she says no, then
ask about "Below Deck."
411
00:13:53,365 --> 00:13:54,501
What are you doing?
412
00:13:54,537 --> 00:13:56,004
She's getting suspicious,
Scully. Act natural.
413
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:57,392
Are you wearing an earpiece?
414
00:13:57,428 --> 00:13:59,760
Tell her no. Scully, stop
saying what I'm saying.
415
00:13:59,796 --> 00:14:00,846
Be normal.
416
00:14:01,877 --> 00:14:02,977
Charles, what are you doing?
417
00:14:03,013 --> 00:14:04,111
Damn it, Gina.
418
00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:05,347
What does it look like I'm doing?
419
00:14:05,383 --> 00:14:07,853
I'm trying to unlock your phone
using a mask of your face
420
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:09,857
so I can find out why
your mom left my dad.
421
00:14:09,893 --> 00:14:11,193
Charles, give me my phone.
422
00:14:11,359 --> 00:14:12,518
Okay, fine.
423
00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:16,397
- Boom, unlocked it.
- Give me my phone, Charles.
424
00:14:16,431 --> 00:14:18,399
Not until I find out or
parents are breaking up.
425
00:14:18,433 --> 00:14:20,034
- Give it.
- Scrolling, scrolling.
426
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:21,602
- Give me my phone, you idiot.
- You were the reason.
427
00:14:21,638 --> 00:14:23,736
You sent her a text that says,
"You should divorce him"?
428
00:14:23,772 --> 00:14:25,978
Okay, yeah, but that's
open to interpretation.
429
00:14:26,014 --> 00:14:27,448
No, but then she says,
"I don't want to,"
430
00:14:27,484 --> 00:14:29,218
and then you say, "But you have to.
431
00:14:29,254 --> 00:14:30,921
"Leave him now, and divorce him.
432
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:32,166
Don't tell him why."
433
00:14:32,202 --> 00:14:34,290
Okay, yeah, you did interpret
it correctly.
434
00:14:36,538 --> 00:14:38,906
Shame, shame.
435
00:14:39,140 --> 00:14:40,854
I'm so sorry I brought
Holt back here.
436
00:14:40,889 --> 00:14:42,756
I had no idea you were doing
this whole "Die Hard" thing.
437
00:14:42,792 --> 00:14:44,557
Man, you really got the hair
exactly right.
438
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:46,680
Did you contact the onset hair
stylist, Paul Abascal?
439
00:14:46,716 --> 00:14:47,749
No, this is a wig.
440
00:14:47,785 --> 00:14:49,443
Oh, that's cool too.
So here's what I'm thinking.
441
00:14:49,479 --> 00:14:51,875
We let Holt go, I have sex with
Holly Gennaro but hotter.
442
00:14:51,911 --> 00:14:54,345
The squad handles the captain,
or disbands, whatever,
443
00:14:54,381 --> 00:14:55,545
we have sex again...
444
00:14:55,581 --> 00:14:57,315
Okay, stop suggesting that.
We need to stay focused.
445
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,980
- Right.
- Holt it fragile.
446
00:14:59,016 --> 00:15:00,483
We need to be gentle, okay?
447
00:15:00,519 --> 00:15:01,986
- Just follow my lead.
- With pleasure.
448
00:15:02,022 --> 00:15:03,456
I love the view. I'm sorry.
449
00:15:03,492 --> 00:15:05,526
This outfit is driving me insane.
450
00:15:05,814 --> 00:15:08,615
Hello, sir. Sorry again for
tying you spread eagle
451
00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:11,196
- on the bed.
- Apology not accepted.
452
00:15:11,232 --> 00:15:13,466
Look, I know you're
upset, but this isn't
453
00:15:13,502 --> 00:15:15,703
your last chance to
become commissioner.
454
00:15:15,739 --> 00:15:16,973
John Kelly's old.
455
00:15:17,009 --> 00:15:18,409
He's not gonna be in office forever.
456
00:15:18,445 --> 00:15:19,979
True, but he'll just
be replaced by another
457
00:15:20,015 --> 00:15:21,315
mediocre old white man.
458
00:15:21,351 --> 00:15:22,460
Nothing will ever change.
459
00:15:22,496 --> 00:15:24,464
All right, well, what
about all your goals
460
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:25,735
for the Nine-Nine?
461
00:15:25,771 --> 00:15:27,445
You still have so much
left to accomplish.
462
00:15:27,481 --> 00:15:28,748
Wrong, I've accomplished everything
463
00:15:28,784 --> 00:15:29,861
that I set out to do..
464
00:15:29,897 --> 00:15:31,939
I wanted to reduce crime, and I did.
465
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,440
There's no crime in Brooklyn anymore.
466
00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:34,684
Seems like a bit of a stretch.
467
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,554
What about improving
community relations?
468
00:15:36,590 --> 00:15:38,057
Done. Everyone loves the police.
469
00:15:38,093 --> 00:15:39,076
It's embarrassing.
470
00:15:39,112 --> 00:15:41,208
Way off. All right, Ame,
step aside; I got this.
471
00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:43,078
Captain, what about
the Halloween Heist?
472
00:15:43,114 --> 00:15:45,249
I'll just come in and win it
and then go back to my house.
473
00:15:45,285 --> 00:15:46,986
- Damn it. I'm out.
- Jake.
474
00:15:47,188 --> 00:15:49,289
All right, fine, sir, do you
know why I love coming to work?
475
00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:51,091
Because there's a bumper
pool table in the break room.
476
00:15:51,126 --> 00:15:52,926
Yes, obviously I love
the bumper pool table.
477
00:15:52,961 --> 00:15:55,045
But do you want to know
another reason why?
478
00:15:55,081 --> 00:15:56,216
You.
479
00:15:56,638 --> 00:15:58,298
You've made me a better cop.
480
00:15:58,333 --> 00:15:59,733
You've made me a better person.
481
00:15:59,768 --> 00:16:01,199
I've learned so much from you.
482
00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:03,188
So you can't quit.
483
00:16:03,557 --> 00:16:05,037
Because I need you.
484
00:16:06,708 --> 00:16:09,230
- Oh, please. How selfish.
- What?
485
00:16:09,266 --> 00:16:10,677
That little speech you just gave.
486
00:16:10,712 --> 00:16:12,479
It was all about you
and what you need.
487
00:16:12,514 --> 00:16:14,581
How unbelievably selfish.
488
00:16:14,616 --> 00:16:16,583
Okay, well, I don't want
to get mad right now,
489
00:16:16,618 --> 00:16:18,256
'cause Amy's worried about you, so...
490
00:16:18,292 --> 00:16:19,847
No, screw that noise.
491
00:16:19,883 --> 00:16:22,257
How dare you call Jake selfish?
492
00:16:22,293 --> 00:16:24,491
He just wasted his entire honeymoon
493
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,326
trying to take care of you
while you wallowed
494
00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:28,162
in your misery like a little baby.
495
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,186
- That seems a little harsh.
- Oh, does it?
496
00:16:30,222 --> 00:16:31,823
- I don't give a hoot.
- Oh, damn.
497
00:16:31,859 --> 00:16:33,994
For the last five years,
all I've done is
498
00:16:34,030 --> 00:16:36,798
give a hoot about you
and what you think.
499
00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:38,668
I gave a hoot about you as a boss.
500
00:16:38,704 --> 00:16:40,205
I gave a hoot about you as a mentor.
501
00:16:40,241 --> 00:16:42,109
I gave a hoot about you as a friend.
502
00:16:42,145 --> 00:16:43,712
She gave so many hoots.
503
00:16:43,748 --> 00:16:45,715
Not anymore.
After the way you've acted
504
00:16:45,751 --> 00:16:48,185
and what you just said to
Jake, I don't give a hoot,
505
00:16:48,221 --> 00:16:49,988
what you think, and I really don't
506
00:16:50,024 --> 00:16:53,526
give a hoot if you decide
to quit the NYPD, so do it.
507
00:16:53,562 --> 00:16:54,726
I'm all out of hoots.
508
00:16:54,762 --> 00:16:55,797
I'm hootless.
509
00:16:57,346 --> 00:16:59,213
- Now, what I want to say is...
- Jake.
510
00:16:59,249 --> 00:17:00,616
Coming Holly Gennaro.
511
00:17:02,566 --> 00:17:04,900
Hey, I thought piña coladas
might be too festive,
512
00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:07,800
so I got two super-depressing
coconuts filled with Merlot.
513
00:17:07,836 --> 00:17:09,971
I'm not depressed. I'm relieved.
514
00:17:10,007 --> 00:17:12,629
For the first time all week,
it's just the two of us.
515
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:13,911
I'm right here.
516
00:17:13,946 --> 00:17:16,445
I escaped using some of
the lube Boyle sent you.
517
00:17:16,481 --> 00:17:17,800
It got everywhere. I had to change.
518
00:17:17,836 --> 00:17:20,938
Yeah, and your new shirt is
very aggressive and confusing.
519
00:17:20,974 --> 00:17:23,477
Is the pineapple the slut,
or is it calling someone else a slut?
520
00:17:23,513 --> 00:17:25,521
Clearly the pineapple is the slut.
521
00:17:25,557 --> 00:17:27,277
- Huh.
- Look, I wanted to say I'm sorry.
522
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:29,694
Yeah? Maybe find someone
who gives a hoot.
523
00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:31,333
Try an owl cage.
524
00:17:31,369 --> 00:17:33,671
Oh, honey, I love you,
but not your best.
525
00:17:34,132 --> 00:17:36,433
Look, you have every right
not to accept my apology,
526
00:17:36,468 --> 00:17:38,149
but at least hear it first.
527
00:17:38,603 --> 00:17:40,370
I'm sorry I said Jake was selfish.
528
00:17:40,405 --> 00:17:42,039
I'm sorry I ruined your honeymoon.
529
00:17:42,073 --> 00:17:44,908
I'm sorry I interrupted your
"Die Hard"-themed sexcapades.
530
00:17:44,943 --> 00:17:47,498
You don't have to list
everything; it's cool.
531
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:50,502
Right. I thought if
I played by the NYPD's rules
532
00:17:50,538 --> 00:17:52,739
and didn't make any waves, one
day I would rise to a position
533
00:17:52,775 --> 00:17:54,710
where I could make meaningful change.
534
00:17:54,746 --> 00:17:57,748
When they hired John Kelly,
I realized I was wrong,
535
00:17:57,784 --> 00:17:59,719
and I thought I was out of options.
536
00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:01,959
But then you tied me
to your bed, legs akimbo,
537
00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:05,202
and made me realize
there was another way.
538
00:18:05,238 --> 00:18:07,835
I could not give a hoot.
539
00:18:07,871 --> 00:18:09,870
Wow, the hoot thing is catching on.
Didn't see that coming.
540
00:18:09,906 --> 00:18:12,216
I'm going to go directly
to the mayor and tell him
541
00:18:12,252 --> 00:18:14,970
John Kelly's "vigilant
policing" proposal
542
00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:16,640
is regressive and counter-productive,
543
00:18:16,674 --> 00:18:18,804
and if he implements it,
I'm gonna make
544
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:19,992
a big stink in the press.
545
00:18:20,028 --> 00:18:22,443
Going over the commissioner
and threatening the mayor, sir?
546
00:18:22,479 --> 00:18:23,870
Don't you think that'll piss him off?
547
00:18:23,906 --> 00:18:25,761
I don't give a hoot.
548
00:18:26,868 --> 00:18:28,707
Listen, I'm on the next plane back,
549
00:18:28,743 --> 00:18:30,777
but I wanted to pay for you two
to extend your stay
550
00:18:30,813 --> 00:18:32,810
so you can have a proper honeymoon.
551
00:18:32,846 --> 00:18:34,814
Oh, sir, thank you.
552
00:18:34,850 --> 00:18:36,651
That's very nice, right, Jake?
553
00:18:36,687 --> 00:18:37,686
Yeah, super cool.
554
00:18:37,722 --> 00:18:39,305
Just out of curiosity
asking for a friend,
555
00:18:39,341 --> 00:18:41,375
where did you get the shirt,
and how much did it cost?
556
00:18:41,799 --> 00:18:43,834
Ooh, you're still wearing the mask?
557
00:18:43,868 --> 00:18:46,389
Yeah, to hide my sadness.
I'll take it off.
558
00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:47,525
No, don't.
559
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:49,696
For some reason, it's easier
to care about what you say
560
00:18:49,732 --> 00:18:51,117
when you look like me.
561
00:18:51,153 --> 00:18:53,279
Why did you tell your
mom to leave my dad, Gina?
562
00:18:53,315 --> 00:18:55,316
Is it so bad being a Boyle?
563
00:18:55,352 --> 00:18:58,320
Yes, it's terrible, but that's
not why I did it.
564
00:18:58,356 --> 00:18:59,956
My mom was cheating on your dad,
565
00:18:59,992 --> 00:19:01,592
so I told her she had to break
it off.
566
00:19:01,628 --> 00:19:03,029
What? Why didn't you tell me?
567
00:19:03,065 --> 00:19:04,833
Because I didn't want
to hurt you or him.
568
00:19:04,869 --> 00:19:07,504
She was being disgusting, so
I told her she had to end it.
569
00:19:07,540 --> 00:19:08,841
You were trying to protect us.
570
00:19:08,877 --> 00:19:10,251
Gina, you were actually being sweet.
571
00:19:10,287 --> 00:19:11,750
Uh-doi.
572
00:19:12,897 --> 00:19:14,865
- How's it going, Sarge?
- Not good.
573
00:19:14,899 --> 00:19:16,967
I'm reading this book on
religion, and apparently
574
00:19:17,001 --> 00:19:18,687
there's some debate
as to what God is.
575
00:19:18,723 --> 00:19:19,689
Don't worry about it.
576
00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:21,192
- Gina had the manual.
- What?
577
00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:22,571
Why didn't she just give it to me?
578
00:19:22,607 --> 00:19:23,654
'Cause she's a rascal.
579
00:19:23,703 --> 00:19:24,971
Look at what it says.
580
00:19:25,557 --> 00:19:28,178
"Never use italics, lest
people think you are
581
00:19:28,213 --> 00:19:29,646
a con-man or a clown."
582
00:19:29,681 --> 00:19:31,308
I'm not sure how this applies here.
583
00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:32,511
No. Under that.
584
00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:34,848
"If you are unsure of what
to do in any situation,
585
00:19:34,884 --> 00:19:37,853
consult Sergeant Jeffords."
586
00:19:38,202 --> 00:19:39,875
I trust him completely."
587
00:19:40,420 --> 00:19:41,921
Well, that's a kick in the butt.
588
00:19:41,957 --> 00:19:43,709
So what should I do, Sarge?
589
00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:47,231
Tell sanitation you'll
work the case together.
590
00:19:47,265 --> 00:19:49,403
You're the primary,
and HQ can take it out
591
00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:50,605
of the supplemental budget.
592
00:19:50,641 --> 00:19:52,098
- I'll find the room.
- Cool.
593
00:19:52,429 --> 00:19:54,530
Top Dog Terry's back.
594
00:19:56,241 --> 00:19:57,407
Okay, you ready?
595
00:19:57,442 --> 00:19:58,499
Mm-hmm.
596
00:20:00,211 --> 00:20:01,578
Hello.
597
00:20:01,613 --> 00:20:02,680
Oh, my God.
598
00:20:02,921 --> 00:20:04,154
Are you Melvil Dewey?
599
00:20:04,190 --> 00:20:05,523
Indeed I am.
600
00:20:05,768 --> 00:20:07,808
I invented the Dewey decimal system,
601
00:20:07,844 --> 00:20:11,847
but right now I'm working on
the Do-me decimal system.
602
00:20:11,883 --> 00:20:12,983
Mm-hmm, yeah.
603
00:20:13,019 --> 00:20:14,019
This is really working for me.
604
00:20:14,055 --> 00:20:15,155
- Really?
- Yeah.
605
00:20:15,191 --> 00:20:16,904
- Awesome.
- So, Mr. Dewey,
606
00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:19,274
can you save me from the
terrorists that have taken over
607
00:20:19,310 --> 00:20:20,509
Nakatomi Plaza?
608
00:20:20,545 --> 00:20:22,108
Yes, Holly Gennaro,
609
00:20:22,204 --> 00:20:27,275
I just need to file them in the
library... card... catalog.
610
00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:28,605
Yeah, this is really hard to track.
611
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:29,908
Let's just take our clothes off.
612
00:20:29,944 --> 00:20:30,994
Oh, thank God.
This old jacket is so hot.
613
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,017
Yeah.
614
00:20:32,388 --> 00:20:33,742
- _
- That was magical.
615
00:20:33,958 --> 00:20:36,159
- I can't believe we're back.
- I refuse to accept it.
616
00:20:36,195 --> 00:20:37,428
I'm still coconuting.
617
00:20:37,464 --> 00:20:38,797
This is filled with coffee.
618
00:20:38,833 --> 00:20:39,883
It is very hot.
619
00:20:39,917 --> 00:20:41,585
Coconut is not a good insulator.
620
00:20:41,619 --> 00:20:42,586
No, it's not.
621
00:20:42,966 --> 00:20:44,602
- Captain.
- Peralta, Santiago,
622
00:20:44,638 --> 00:20:46,172
how was the end of the honeymoon?
623
00:20:46,208 --> 00:20:47,508
It was amazing.
624
00:20:47,544 --> 00:20:49,679
Not to brag, but I saw a sea turtle.
625
00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:51,016
Kind of sounds like
you're bragging, babe.
626
00:20:51,052 --> 00:20:52,519
I was. It looked right at me.
627
00:20:52,555 --> 00:20:53,831
How'd it go here?
Did you contact the mayor?
628
00:20:53,867 --> 00:20:55,601
Yes. I voiced my concerns
as soon as I got back.
629
00:20:56,051 --> 00:20:57,952
He heard me out, and
he's put John Kelly's
630
00:20:57,988 --> 00:21:00,099
"vigilant policing" initiative
under review.
631
00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:02,102
Way to go, No Hoots Holt.
632
00:21:02,447 --> 00:21:04,114
- Was Kelly pissed?
- Very much so.
633
00:21:04,150 --> 00:21:07,052
To retaliate, he closed the
bottom floor of the Nine-Nine
634
00:21:07,088 --> 00:21:08,455
for renovations indefinitely.
635
00:21:08,491 --> 00:21:09,791
Everyone's been moved to our bullpen.
636
00:21:09,827 --> 00:21:11,080
Wait. What?
637
00:21:11,445 --> 00:21:12,721
Prepare yourselves.
638
00:21:14,602 --> 00:21:17,504
The Nine-Nine is at war with the NYPD.
639
00:21:19,727 --> 00:21:21,561
Ay caramba.
640
00:21:22,510 --> 00:21:26,510
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