1
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:09,220
So,
2
00:00:09,244 --> 00:00:11,222
two keys, huh?
3
00:00:11,246 --> 00:00:12,790
That's a lot of snow.
4
00:00:12,814 --> 00:00:13,991
And if you can't handle it,
5
00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,726
we're happy to find someone who can.
6
00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:17,795
Don't worry about me, friend.
I can handle it.
7
00:00:17,819 --> 00:00:19,463
Marissa, baby,
8
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,032
go get our guests
something to drink, would you?
9
00:00:21,056 --> 00:00:22,733
- We don't want a drink.
- What is this, a social call?
10
00:00:22,757 --> 00:00:23,986
- It's not a tea party.
- We look like
11
00:00:23,987 --> 00:00:25,970
- five-year-old girls to you?
- Gentlemen, please.
12
00:00:25,994 --> 00:00:27,705
Have some patience.
13
00:00:27,729 --> 00:00:29,473
Two keys.
14
00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:31,175
Pure as a Catholic schoolgirl.
15
00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:32,910
Did you bring the cash?
16
00:00:32,934 --> 00:00:34,812
Oh, we brought something
much better than cash.
17
00:00:34,836 --> 00:00:36,180
- What is that?
- Our guns!
18
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:37,715
NYPD! You're under arrest!
19
00:00:47,582 --> 00:00:49,827
Boss man's gone. Where'd he go?
20
00:00:53,021 --> 00:00:55,032
Thank you kindly, little lady.
21
00:01:01,596 --> 00:01:03,007
Gio Costa,
22
00:01:03,031 --> 00:01:04,742
you're under arrest.
23
00:01:04,766 --> 00:01:06,110
You want that drink now, Hitchcock?
24
00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:07,511
Don't mind if I do, Scully.
25
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:08,946
Don't mind if I do.
26
00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:30,089
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
27
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:36,774
What the hell, Diaz?
28
00:01:36,798 --> 00:01:38,642
You trying to make your heart explode?
29
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,044
I'm loading up on coffee
because it's a pain in the ass
30
00:01:40,068 --> 00:01:41,245
getting to the kitchen now,
31
00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:42,313
and I don't want to come back here.
32
00:01:42,337 --> 00:01:43,881
Is this about the desks?
33
00:01:43,905 --> 00:01:46,217
Yes, Terry, it's about the desks.
34
00:01:46,241 --> 00:01:48,052
How long is Commissioner Kelly
going to punish us
35
00:01:48,076 --> 00:01:49,987
because Captain Holt complained
about him to the mayor?
36
00:01:50,011 --> 00:01:51,622
I don't know, but I hope it ends soon.
37
00:01:51,646 --> 00:01:53,758
Terry's shoulders weren't built
for tight spaces.
38
00:01:53,782 --> 00:01:55,292
It's bonk city in here!
39
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,727
I've said "excuse me"
more times this morning
40
00:01:56,751 --> 00:01:58,729
than I have in my entire life.
41
00:01:58,753 --> 00:02:00,064
Twice!
42
00:02:03,091 --> 00:02:04,668
- Jake.
- Rosa.
43
00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:09,907
Good morning.
44
00:02:09,931 --> 00:02:11,242
Oh, my. We are very close together.
45
00:02:11,266 --> 00:02:12,676
I love it. Hey,
46
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:13,677
you know how I've always wanted
47
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:14,678
to have another child?
48
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:16,013
Well, it's happening!
49
00:02:16,037 --> 00:02:17,248
Genevieve is pregnant?
50
00:02:17,272 --> 00:02:18,749
But I thought your "meh-err"
51
00:02:18,773 --> 00:02:20,184
no longer made "whoo-oo."
52
00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:22,253
Correct.
My testes no longer make sperm.
53
00:02:22,277 --> 00:02:23,921
I was good with "meh-err"
and "whoo-oo."
54
00:02:23,945 --> 00:02:24,989
No, we're thinking of adopting again.
55
00:02:25,013 --> 00:02:26,290
We just got an email
56
00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,192
from Nikolaj's 15-year-old brother
57
00:02:28,216 --> 00:02:29,660
in Latvia that he's never met.
58
00:02:29,684 --> 00:02:31,328
Yeah, his name is Dragomir.
59
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:32,830
Oh, my God.
60
00:02:32,854 --> 00:02:34,865
That is a 42-year-old fur trapper.
61
00:02:34,889 --> 00:02:36,600
What? You don't see the resemblance?
62
00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:39,036
Yeah, to Matisyahu.
There's no way he's 15.
63
00:02:39,060 --> 00:02:40,638
Well, then, how come he wrote
that his greatest fear
64
00:02:40,662 --> 00:02:42,606
is "going through puberty"?
65
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:43,808
Probably because
he wants you to think he's 15
66
00:02:43,832 --> 00:02:44,975
so you'll adopt him.
67
00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:46,177
Look, Charles, I hate to say this,
68
00:02:46,201 --> 00:02:47,778
but I think this guy is scamming you.
69
00:02:47,802 --> 00:02:49,013
Come on. You're just suspicious
70
00:02:49,037 --> 00:02:50,314
- of everyone.
- Jake!
71
00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:51,782
Charles!
72
00:02:51,806 --> 00:02:53,384
Captain wants to see you!
73
00:02:53,408 --> 00:02:56,020
I cannot get through
this room anymore,
74
00:02:56,044 --> 00:02:57,621
so I'm yelling everything now.
75
00:02:57,645 --> 00:03:00,024
Nancy, Captain said you can
76
00:03:00,048 --> 00:03:02,059
go to your psychologist this morning.
77
00:03:02,083 --> 00:03:04,128
You're clear! Get your head right.
78
00:03:04,152 --> 00:03:06,030
Gentlemen, we have a situation.
79
00:03:06,054 --> 00:03:08,032
Scully and Hitchcock just got
a call from Internal Affairs.
80
00:03:08,056 --> 00:03:10,835
They're interested
in a case of theirs from 1986.
81
00:03:10,859 --> 00:03:13,637
If you ask me, this old case
is only coming up now
82
00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:15,039
because the commissioner is trying
83
00:03:15,063 --> 00:03:16,907
to drum up a scandal in the Nine-Nine.
84
00:03:16,931 --> 00:03:19,076
And take out your two
best detectives in the process.
85
00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:20,211
You're not my two best detectives.
86
00:03:20,235 --> 00:03:21,812
Oh, that's such a relief.
87
00:03:21,836 --> 00:03:23,047
I feel so much safer now.
88
00:03:23,071 --> 00:03:24,849
- Good lord.
- Don't interfere
89
00:03:24,873 --> 00:03:26,383
with IA's investigation. Just find out
90
00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:28,052
what actually happened
91
00:03:28,076 --> 00:03:29,920
in case Kelly is trying
to manipulate the facts.
92
00:03:29,944 --> 00:03:31,018
Can you do that?
93
00:03:31,019 --> 00:03:32,389
Oh, so you're asking
if we can open a portal
94
00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:33,991
to the wet and wild 1980s
95
00:03:34,015 --> 00:03:35,259
to investigation the bizarre lives
96
00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:36,861
of these magnificent dodos?
97
00:03:36,885 --> 00:03:38,829
I believe it was a young Barack Obama
98
00:03:38,853 --> 00:03:41,365
who said "Uh, yes, we can."
99
00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:43,267
Ooh, sorry. Sorry.
100
00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:45,669
Sorry. You want to see me, sarge?
101
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:46,871
Yeah. I know we're all
102
00:03:46,895 --> 00:03:48,339
sort of crammed together in here,
103
00:03:48,363 --> 00:03:50,007
but we were kind of thinking
104
00:03:50,031 --> 00:03:51,442
that your uniformed officers
105
00:03:51,466 --> 00:03:53,277
are, uh, causing some problems.
106
00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:54,879
Oh? Like what?
107
00:03:54,903 --> 00:03:56,347
How do I put this tactfully?
108
00:03:56,371 --> 00:03:58,015
Your squad turned the kitchen
into a cesspool,
109
00:03:58,039 --> 00:03:59,250
nastied up the bathroom,
and made the elevator
110
00:03:59,274 --> 00:04:00,751
smell like a hundred butts.
111
00:04:00,775 --> 00:04:02,686
Okay, thank you for your tact, Diaz.
112
00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:04,255
Well, that's unfair.
Your squad is responsible
113
00:04:04,279 --> 00:04:06,390
for at least 50 of those butts.
114
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,892
Look, all I'm saying is maybe
115
00:04:07,916 --> 00:04:09,026
you can ask the downstairs people
116
00:04:09,050 --> 00:04:10,027
- to be more...
- Excuse me?
117
00:04:10,051 --> 00:04:11,695
"Downstairs people"?
118
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:13,430
That's a little offensive.
119
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:15,699
Oh, don't get it twisted.
120
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:17,201
It's just where you came from.
121
00:04:17,225 --> 00:04:19,069
Some of my best friends
are downstairs people.
122
00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:22,806
Okay, I think you know
exactly what that sounds like,
123
00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:24,942
you upstairs people.
124
00:04:24,966 --> 00:04:26,443
Oh, thank you
for that nice compliment.
125
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:27,978
It wasn't a compliment,
and you know it!
126
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:29,146
I said it with 'tude.
127
00:04:29,170 --> 00:04:30,948
Classic downstairs person.
128
00:04:30,972 --> 00:04:34,385
Wow, you are prejudiced
against the first floor.
129
00:04:34,409 --> 00:04:36,820
I'm taking this up the chain.
130
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:39,056
Gina Linetti spaghetti confetti.
131
00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,058
Gina Linetti spaghetti confetti.
132
00:04:41,082 --> 00:04:42,893
- Faster.
- GinaLinettispaghetticonfetti.
133
00:04:42,917 --> 00:04:44,228
- Captain Holt.
- Uh, yeah, can't you see
134
00:04:44,252 --> 00:04:45,329
we're in the middle of something?
135
00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:46,897
Sorry. It sounded like you were
136
00:04:46,921 --> 00:04:48,832
just saying gibberish back and forth.
137
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:50,234
Gina is helping me to prepare
for a televised interview.
138
00:04:50,258 --> 00:04:51,769
Since the mayor has yet
139
00:04:51,793 --> 00:04:53,103
to weigh in on Commissioner Kelly's
140
00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:54,772
"Vigilant Policing" initiative,
141
00:04:54,796 --> 00:04:55,906
I've decided to take my objections
142
00:04:55,930 --> 00:04:57,241
straight to the people.
143
00:04:57,265 --> 00:04:59,777
And this gibberish
is actually Gina jargon,
144
00:04:59,801 --> 00:05:01,478
a world-renowned linguistic system
145
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:03,447
that worked pretty well
for Ellen Musk.
146
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,416
- Elon Musk.
- Ellen Musk.
147
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:08,485
Season one winner
of VH1's "Queen Bitch."
148
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,120
Sir, isn't going to the press
149
00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:11,755
going to make Kelly
even angrier at us?
150
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,351
Yeah. He's already made
life here pretty miserable.
151
00:05:14,352 --> 00:05:18,262
The crowding, the desks, the
downstairs people treating the bullpen
152
00:05:18,286 --> 00:05:19,863
like a dumpster.
153
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:23,000
Ooh, I'm so sorry
for the untidiness, milord.
154
00:05:23,024 --> 00:05:24,101
That's enough. I don't have time
155
00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:25,336
for your internecine battles,
156
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,470
and I don't give a hoot
157
00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:28,138
about your minor inconveniences.
158
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:30,107
I am trying to fight injustice
159
00:05:30,131 --> 00:05:33,310
and do what is right
for the entire NYPD.
160
00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:34,878
Understood?
161
00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:37,815
Yes, milord.
162
00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:40,117
Okay, let's set the scene.
163
00:05:40,141 --> 00:05:41,518
The year is 1986.
164
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,287
"Top Gun" is crushing the box office,
165
00:05:43,311 --> 00:05:44,989
and the Beastie Boys
have just been issued
166
00:05:45,013 --> 00:05:47,024
- their "License to Ill."
- And that's the year
167
00:05:47,048 --> 00:05:48,459
I got felt up for the first time
168
00:05:48,483 --> 00:05:50,494
- under the shirt.
- Always a big moment
169
00:05:50,518 --> 00:05:51,862
in a young boy's life.
All right, tell us
170
00:05:51,886 --> 00:05:53,030
about the case.
171
00:05:53,054 --> 00:05:54,298
We were working organized crime,
172
00:05:54,322 --> 00:05:56,300
and we took down
a mafia boss, Gio Costa,
173
00:05:56,324 --> 00:05:57,868
for running cocaine.
174
00:05:57,892 --> 00:05:59,303
We were the studs of the Nine-Nine.
175
00:05:59,327 --> 00:06:01,305
Well I'm sure "studs" is a bit of a...
176
00:06:01,329 --> 00:06:02,373
Oh, my God. I can't believe
177
00:06:02,397 --> 00:06:03,540
I'ma say this, but...
178
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:05,409
Meow.
179
00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:07,478
No, that is not what I was gonna say,
180
00:06:07,502 --> 00:06:09,313
but honestly, yeah, meow.
181
00:06:09,337 --> 00:06:11,482
No offense, guys, but what
the hell happened to you?
182
00:06:11,506 --> 00:06:12,883
Are you body shaming us?
183
00:06:12,907 --> 00:06:14,485
No, I'm personality-shaming you.
184
00:06:14,509 --> 00:06:16,854
You were so alert and cool
and job-doing.
185
00:06:16,878 --> 00:06:18,322
So how did you get to Costa?
186
00:06:18,346 --> 00:06:19,556
We had a CI on the inside
187
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:20,557
who helped set up a sting.
188
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,059
We took down Costa,
189
00:06:22,083 --> 00:06:23,394
recovered a ton of coke
190
00:06:23,418 --> 00:06:25,095
and three duffel bags full of cash.
191
00:06:25,119 --> 00:06:26,397
Seems pretty clear-cut,
192
00:06:26,421 --> 00:06:27,998
but then why would IA reopen the case?
193
00:06:28,022 --> 00:06:29,533
Unless... they think it's some sort
194
00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:31,502
of "Freaky Friday" situation
and you guys traded places
195
00:06:31,526 --> 00:06:33,170
with horny singles in your area.
196
00:06:33,194 --> 00:06:35,005
- It's possible.
- So what happened to the CI?
197
00:06:35,029 --> 00:06:36,573
Who knows? It was so long ago.
198
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:38,876
I mean, I barely remember
how I got to work this morning.
199
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,210
I think there was
an ambulance involved.
200
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:41,445
- Oh, there was.
- Oh.
201
00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:42,946
Wait a minute. Here's a question.
202
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:44,214
You said you recovered
203
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:45,423
three duffel bags full of cash
204
00:06:45,424 --> 00:06:47,051
and that's what
the evidence logs say as well.
205
00:06:47,075 --> 00:06:48,052
- Yeah.
- So?
206
00:06:48,076 --> 00:06:49,920
So count the bags.
207
00:06:49,944 --> 00:06:51,622
One, two, three, like you said,
208
00:06:51,646 --> 00:06:53,424
but then take a look
in this mirror behind you,
209
00:06:53,448 --> 00:06:55,526
the one that shows off
your shockingly taut bottoms.
210
00:06:55,550 --> 00:06:57,194
A fourth bag.
211
00:06:57,218 --> 00:06:58,429
Oh, probably missed it.
212
00:06:58,453 --> 00:07:00,197
Yeah, you know us. We're dumb-dumbs.
213
00:07:00,221 --> 00:07:02,533
But even you wouldn't miss
a giant bag full of cash.
214
00:07:02,557 --> 00:07:04,401
- It was the '80s.
- Police weren't perfect then
215
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:06,270
- like they are today.
- All right, calm down.
216
00:07:06,294 --> 00:07:07,938
We're not accusing you
of anything, right, Jake?
217
00:07:07,962 --> 00:07:09,540
- Kinda was.
- This is crazy!
218
00:07:09,564 --> 00:07:11,375
- We're innocent!
- IA is railroading us
219
00:07:11,399 --> 00:07:13,977
like Holt said, and you're
joining in the witch hunt!
220
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:15,379
You're fake news!
221
00:07:15,403 --> 00:07:16,880
Sad!
222
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:21,608
Yeah, that's definitely
the language of the innocent.
223
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:25,310
Okay, so there are
two questions on the table.
224
00:07:25,334 --> 00:07:26,511
First, who was more bang-able,
225
00:07:26,535 --> 00:07:27,846
young Hitchcock or young Scully?
226
00:07:27,870 --> 00:07:29,314
Young Hitchcock. Total smoke show.
227
00:07:29,338 --> 00:07:30,682
Agreed, but it's close, and second,
228
00:07:30,706 --> 00:07:33,383
did they steal a big old bag
full of mob cash?
229
00:07:33,384 --> 00:07:34,661
They said they didn't do
230
00:07:34,685 --> 00:07:36,029
anything wrong. I believe them.
231
00:07:36,053 --> 00:07:37,030
When I brought up the fourth bag,
232
00:07:37,054 --> 00:07:38,165
they stormed out.
233
00:07:38,189 --> 00:07:39,666
Or, once again, I think
234
00:07:39,690 --> 00:07:41,268
you just can't help being suspicious
235
00:07:41,292 --> 00:07:42,769
- of everyone.
- Oh, my God.
236
00:07:42,793 --> 00:07:44,338
Is that what this is about?
You're mad because I said
237
00:07:44,362 --> 00:07:45,706
the old sea captain you want to adopt
238
00:07:45,730 --> 00:07:46,744
is scamming you?
239
00:07:46,745 --> 00:07:48,499
Dragomir is not a captain.
He clubs the fish
240
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,378
in the bottom of the boat.
That's his after-school job.
241
00:07:50,402 --> 00:07:52,172
Okay, Charles, you are
letting your emotions
242
00:07:52,173 --> 00:07:53,554
cloud your judgment with Dragomir
243
00:07:53,555 --> 00:07:54,865
and with these guys.
244
00:07:54,889 --> 00:07:56,363
I mean, for all we know,
Hitchcock and Scully
245
00:07:56,364 --> 00:07:57,435
have been playing us for years
246
00:07:57,459 --> 00:07:58,569
like criminal masterminds.
247
00:08:00,295 --> 00:08:01,906
Okay, so maybe not masterminds,
248
00:08:01,930 --> 00:08:03,908
but I'm still going in there
and getting the truth.
249
00:08:03,932 --> 00:08:05,443
All right, guys, let's not make this
250
00:08:05,467 --> 00:08:06,777
any more difficult than it has to be.
251
00:08:06,801 --> 00:08:08,279
We know there was
a fourth bag of money.
252
00:08:08,303 --> 00:08:09,780
- Where'd it go?
- We told you dorks.
253
00:08:09,804 --> 00:08:11,882
We never saw it. Now leave us alone.
254
00:08:11,906 --> 00:08:13,451
I don't think you get
what's happening here.
255
00:08:13,475 --> 00:08:14,618
This is an interrogation,
256
00:08:14,642 --> 00:08:16,287
and it's only gonna end one way:
257
00:08:16,311 --> 00:08:17,788
with you telling us everything.
258
00:08:17,812 --> 00:08:19,623
Something funny?
259
00:08:19,647 --> 00:08:21,659
It's just I don't think
you get what's happening here.
260
00:08:21,683 --> 00:08:23,794
You're locked
in a small, windowless room
261
00:08:23,818 --> 00:08:25,463
with the two of us
one hour after lunch.
262
00:08:25,487 --> 00:08:26,464
- Oh no.
- You want to know
263
00:08:26,488 --> 00:08:27,598
what we ate?
264
00:08:27,622 --> 00:08:28,899
Four-cheese pizza, double-cheese,
265
00:08:28,923 --> 00:08:31,302
with a side
of cheesy fries, extra cheese,
266
00:08:31,326 --> 00:08:32,670
and a big old slice of cheesecake.
267
00:08:32,694 --> 00:08:34,805
But, Scully,
268
00:08:34,829 --> 00:08:36,607
- you're lactose intolerant.
- Yeah.
269
00:08:36,631 --> 00:08:40,811
This whole room
is a [BLEEP] Dutch oven.
270
00:08:40,835 --> 00:08:42,480
What the hell is this?
271
00:08:42,504 --> 00:08:43,914
The downstairs people
272
00:08:43,938 --> 00:08:45,916
keep making a mess of the microwave.
273
00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:47,485
One of them thought it was cool
274
00:08:47,509 --> 00:08:49,687
to heat up soup in an uncovered dish.
275
00:08:49,711 --> 00:08:51,622
- That's just crazy!
- How do you know
276
00:08:51,646 --> 00:08:52,823
that's our splatter? There are some
277
00:08:52,847 --> 00:08:54,525
sloppy Susans upstairs.
278
00:08:54,549 --> 00:08:56,293
I saw it go down. It was one of you,
279
00:08:56,317 --> 00:08:57,795
- so ya banned.
- No way.
280
00:08:57,819 --> 00:09:00,264
This microwave belongs
to the entire precinct,
281
00:09:00,288 --> 00:09:02,299
so I'm nah-banned.
282
00:09:02,323 --> 00:09:04,468
Actually, turns out, this microwave
283
00:09:04,492 --> 00:09:05,836
is not precinct property.
284
00:09:05,860 --> 00:09:07,671
Detective O'Shea brought it from home
285
00:09:07,695 --> 00:09:09,774
- back in '98, so...
- Ya banned.
286
00:09:09,798 --> 00:09:11,509
I went to visit O'Shea's widow.
287
00:09:11,533 --> 00:09:12,643
- He's dead?
- Big-time.
288
00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:13,878
She is not over it.
289
00:09:13,902 --> 00:09:16,447
Anyway, I got her to sign a contract
290
00:09:16,471 --> 00:09:18,716
that states the upstairs has exclusive
291
00:09:18,740 --> 00:09:20,317
microwave rights.
292
00:09:20,341 --> 00:09:21,819
You bothered a widow with this?
293
00:09:21,843 --> 00:09:23,621
Honestly, it wasn't
that awkward for me.
294
00:09:23,645 --> 00:09:24,789
Rosa did it.
295
00:09:24,813 --> 00:09:26,390
It was rough, but she signed it,
296
00:09:26,414 --> 00:09:27,858
so ya banned.
297
00:09:27,882 --> 00:09:29,894
Okay, now that we can all breathe,
298
00:09:29,918 --> 00:09:31,629
let's try this again,
unless you want to try
299
00:09:31,653 --> 00:09:32,897
and stink up the entire city
of New York.
300
00:09:32,921 --> 00:09:34,698
Challenge accepted.
301
00:09:34,722 --> 00:09:36,300
Okay, everyone, be cool! Be cool!
302
00:09:36,324 --> 00:09:37,501
Just tell me everything that happened
303
00:09:37,525 --> 00:09:38,536
after the bust.
304
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:39,570
I'll tell you what happened.
305
00:09:39,594 --> 00:09:41,005
We were frigging heroes.
306
00:09:41,029 --> 00:09:42,873
Anybody have a trash can?
307
00:09:42,897 --> 00:09:45,509
'Cause Flat Top and the Freak
are bringing in some garbage.
308
00:09:47,602 --> 00:09:49,246
You guys had badass entrance lines
309
00:09:49,270 --> 00:09:50,548
and people cheered?
310
00:09:50,572 --> 00:09:52,416
What happened?
Where'd it all go wrong?
311
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,884
Some things aren't for us to know.
312
00:09:53,908 --> 00:09:56,253
Look, guys, we never had that money.
313
00:09:56,277 --> 00:09:57,755
Here. We'll prove it to you.
314
00:09:57,779 --> 00:09:59,523
Those are our financial records.
315
00:09:59,547 --> 00:10:01,725
I don't have any retirement.
I don't have any security,
316
00:10:01,749 --> 00:10:02,760
or a car.
317
00:10:02,784 --> 00:10:04,395
I rent most of my clothes.
318
00:10:04,419 --> 00:10:05,396
We get it. You're poor.
319
00:10:05,420 --> 00:10:07,398
I'm not just poor, son.
320
00:10:07,422 --> 00:10:08,766
I'm destitute.
321
00:10:08,790 --> 00:10:10,534
Definitely not a wink-able line.
322
00:10:10,558 --> 00:10:12,036
Ugh, look at all
these credit card charges
323
00:10:12,060 --> 00:10:13,704
for Wing Slutz.
324
00:10:13,728 --> 00:10:14,905
It can't be healthy
to eat there this much.
325
00:10:14,929 --> 00:10:16,540
If you want a diet option,
326
00:10:16,564 --> 00:10:18,409
the Marine Park location
has a blue cheese parfait.
327
00:10:18,433 --> 00:10:20,411
You guys go all the way
down to Marine Park for wings?
328
00:10:20,435 --> 00:10:21,679
There's a waitress there
who always gives us
329
00:10:21,703 --> 00:10:22,913
an extra drumstick
330
00:10:22,937 --> 00:10:24,582
- in our slut bucket.
- Wait a minute.
331
00:10:24,606 --> 00:10:26,050
Why do you pay
for a monthly parking spot?
332
00:10:26,074 --> 00:10:27,685
Because it's New York.
It's hard to park.
333
00:10:27,709 --> 00:10:29,053
Yeah, but he just said
he doesn't have a car.
334
00:10:29,077 --> 00:10:30,521
So what's parked in this spot
335
00:10:30,545 --> 00:10:31,922
you don't want us to know about?
336
00:10:31,946 --> 00:10:34,792
Could it be
a super-expensive sports car,
337
00:10:34,816 --> 00:10:36,393
paid for in cash?
338
00:10:36,417 --> 00:10:37,595
Nope.
339
00:10:37,619 --> 00:10:39,396
It's just a sketchy old sex van.
340
00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:41,799
There is nothing sketchy
about the Beaver Trap.
341
00:10:41,823 --> 00:10:43,868
Yes, there is.
342
00:10:43,892 --> 00:10:45,436
In short, Commissioner Kelly's
343
00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:46,737
new initiative
344
00:10:46,761 --> 00:10:48,772
is a regressive, wrongheaded return
345
00:10:48,796 --> 00:10:52,443
to the NYPD's darkest days.
346
00:10:52,467 --> 00:10:53,444
How was that?
347
00:10:53,468 --> 00:10:54,979
Like watching a corpse
348
00:10:55,003 --> 00:10:57,715
wash up on shore, lifeless.
349
00:10:57,739 --> 00:10:59,416
Come on, you gotta pace it up, okay?
350
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:00,618
You need to smile more.
351
00:11:00,642 --> 00:11:02,953
Energize the eyes! Gesticulate!
352
00:11:02,977 --> 00:11:04,788
You're describing
the behavior of a crazy person.
353
00:11:04,812 --> 00:11:06,657
Am I? Because right now,
354
00:11:06,681 --> 00:11:08,626
you can't take your eyes off me.
355
00:11:08,650 --> 00:11:09,960
Oh, that must be
356
00:11:09,984 --> 00:11:11,495
the camera crew,
here to set up the remote.
357
00:11:11,519 --> 00:11:12,796
Oh, but you're not ready.
358
00:11:12,820 --> 00:11:14,465
This is gonna be
like "The King's Speech,"
359
00:11:14,489 --> 00:11:15,966
before he lost all that weight
or whatever.
360
00:11:15,990 --> 00:11:17,668
- I haven't seen that movie.
- Oh, it's fine, Gina.
361
00:11:17,692 --> 00:11:19,970
I don't need any tricks.
I've got the truth,
362
00:11:19,994 --> 00:11:21,505
and the truth is all I need
363
00:11:21,529 --> 00:11:22,907
to bring down...
364
00:11:22,931 --> 00:11:24,742
Commissioner Kelly!
365
00:11:24,766 --> 00:11:26,577
Hello.
366
00:11:26,601 --> 00:11:28,512
So, Hitchcock, what's the
deal with the secret van?
367
00:11:28,536 --> 00:11:29,947
Oh, nothing. It's where I sleep
368
00:11:29,971 --> 00:11:30,981
during my divorces.
369
00:11:31,005 --> 00:11:32,349
If this van's a-rocking,
370
00:11:32,373 --> 00:11:33,784
my ex-wife's a-locking...
371
00:11:33,808 --> 00:11:34,985
me, out of her house.
372
00:11:35,009 --> 00:11:36,420
Catchy.
373
00:11:36,444 --> 00:11:37,821
What are we doing here, Jake?
374
00:11:37,845 --> 00:11:39,356
- What are we even looking for?
- Whatever it is
375
00:11:39,380 --> 00:11:41,091
that Hitchcock's trying
to hide from us.
376
00:11:41,115 --> 00:11:43,494
I'd imagine he'd be hiding
everything in here from us.
377
00:11:43,518 --> 00:11:45,596
- It's a van of horrors.
- Yeah, I know.
378
00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:47,865
I saw the bucket of male body butter,
379
00:11:47,889 --> 00:11:49,833
and her. But my gut tells me
380
00:11:49,857 --> 00:11:51,368
there's a smoking gun in here.
381
00:11:51,392 --> 00:11:52,670
It's like you want them to be guilty.
382
00:11:52,694 --> 00:11:53,837
I don't. I just want
383
00:11:53,861 --> 00:11:55,039
to know what happened, unlike you,
384
00:11:55,063 --> 00:11:56,045
who doesn't want them to be guilty,
385
00:11:56,046 --> 00:11:57,098
no matter what the truth is.
386
00:11:57,099 --> 00:11:58,858
I'm not an idiot
just because I have a heart.
387
00:11:58,859 --> 00:12:00,229
Well, your heart
just might be an idiot,
388
00:12:00,230 --> 00:12:02,546
because voilà!
389
00:12:02,570 --> 00:12:03,881
So many smells. Shouldn't have gone
390
00:12:03,905 --> 00:12:05,382
- for the flourish.
- Wait, is that...
391
00:12:05,406 --> 00:12:06,850
The fourth bag from the picture.
392
00:12:06,874 --> 00:12:10,688
Same logo, same stain
under the handle, and...
393
00:12:10,712 --> 00:12:12,356
It's empty. They're guilty!
394
00:12:12,380 --> 00:12:13,691
Nuh-uh. Not necessarily.
395
00:12:13,715 --> 00:12:15,195
I mean, there could be a very good...
396
00:12:16,751 --> 00:12:18,629
Damn it. We're trapped!
397
00:12:18,653 --> 00:12:19,964
We're trapped in the Beaver Trap!
398
00:12:19,988 --> 00:12:21,465
We're the beavers!
399
00:12:21,489 --> 00:12:22,622
We're the beavers!
400
00:12:26,335 --> 00:12:27,747
It won't budge.
401
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:28,859
I can't believe we let
Hitchcock and Scully
402
00:12:28,883 --> 00:12:29,860
get the drop on us.
403
00:12:29,884 --> 00:12:30,861
It's like being outsmarted
404
00:12:30,885 --> 00:12:31,862
by a couple of tomatoes.
405
00:12:31,886 --> 00:12:32,929
I'm the tomato.
406
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:34,197
I was wrong about them,
407
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:35,699
and I'm probably wrong about Dragomir.
408
00:12:35,723 --> 00:12:36,700
I'm too nice.
409
00:12:36,724 --> 00:12:38,268
I let every random jerk
410
00:12:38,292 --> 00:12:40,203
suckle at the teat
of my human kindness.
411
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:41,338
Gross. Now please
412
00:12:41,362 --> 00:12:42,939
hand me that mannequin's leg.
413
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:44,708
There were so many
warning signs about Dragomir.
414
00:12:44,732 --> 00:12:46,009
Nikolaj had never heard of him...
415
00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:47,210
- He's 45.
- He asked for money.
416
00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:48,612
- He's 45.
- He didn't have
417
00:12:48,636 --> 00:12:49,946
- a birth certificate.
- He's 45.
418
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,214
- He looked older than 15.
- He's 45.
419
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:52,783
Fine. He was 45.
420
00:12:52,807 --> 00:12:54,918
I'm just a sucker,
trapped in a creepy sex van.
421
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,219
That's not entirely true.
422
00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:58,044
You're no longer trapped in a van.
423
00:13:01,916 --> 00:13:04,094
Oh, crap. They took our car.
424
00:13:04,118 --> 00:13:05,362
All right, I'll just call them
425
00:13:05,386 --> 00:13:06,897
and beg them to turn themselves in.
426
00:13:06,921 --> 00:13:08,899
Oh, no. I left my phone in the car.
427
00:13:08,923 --> 00:13:10,567
I know it's under one of their butts.
428
00:13:10,591 --> 00:13:11,768
Ooh, if they have your phone,
429
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,136
we can track where they're going.
430
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,739
I have "Find My Phone"
set up to track you.
431
00:13:15,763 --> 00:13:16,907
What? I do that for all my friends,
432
00:13:16,931 --> 00:13:18,241
not just you.
433
00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:19,376
Show me.
434
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,144
There's no time! Look,
435
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:22,979
they're headed south
on the Belt Parkway.
436
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:23,980
Ooh, check what exit they're taking.
437
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:25,315
Marine Park.
438
00:13:25,339 --> 00:13:27,250
They're going to Wing Slutz!
439
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:28,819
But how do we get there?
We don't have a car.
440
00:13:28,843 --> 00:13:30,476
But we do have a van.
441
00:13:33,114 --> 00:13:34,291
Yeah, we should have taken a Lyft.
442
00:13:34,315 --> 00:13:35,325
I feel like a predator.
443
00:13:35,349 --> 00:13:36,793
This isn't our car!
444
00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:37,961
- It's a loaner.
- We respect women!
445
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,162
I'm still with her!
446
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:41,164
So you are doing a TV interview?
447
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:43,166
- That's cool.
- Why are you smiling?
448
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,835
'Cause he's one
of those friendly villains,
449
00:13:44,859 --> 00:13:46,903
like the Verizon guy
who defected to Sprint.
450
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,171
If you're angry, come out and say it.
451
00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:50,006
I'm not angry. I'm just curious
452
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,308
about what all this means.
453
00:13:51,332 --> 00:13:52,776
It's not often
that one of our captains
454
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,778
makes an unapproved media appearance.
455
00:13:54,802 --> 00:13:56,346
- It's fun.
- I plan on using
456
00:13:56,370 --> 00:13:58,315
this interview to criticize you
and your policies.
457
00:13:58,339 --> 00:14:00,917
Okay. That's your prerogative.
458
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,185
No, don't chuckle.
459
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:04,020
A frown is
a more appropriate response.
460
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:05,622
- I like you, Raymond.
- No, you don't.
461
00:14:05,646 --> 00:14:07,157
I do! And I just came down here
462
00:14:07,181 --> 00:14:09,292
to tell you that if you
go through with this interview,
463
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:11,128
I have some real fun ideas
464
00:14:11,152 --> 00:14:13,630
about ways to spice up life
at the Nine-Nine.
465
00:14:13,654 --> 00:14:15,298
I don't like your threats,
and I don't like
466
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:17,200
the cheery manner in which
you've chosen to deliver them.
467
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,136
Well, I'm just a cheery guy.
468
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,304
- You're a snake.
- Okay.
469
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:22,939
I'm a snake.
470
00:14:27,735 --> 00:14:29,146
Oh, no, they found us!
471
00:14:29,170 --> 00:14:30,780
Damn straight, we did.
What were you thinking?
472
00:14:30,804 --> 00:14:32,983
They obviously
weren't thinking about anyone,
473
00:14:33,007 --> 00:14:34,718
especially the one friend... me...
474
00:14:34,742 --> 00:14:36,219
who had their backs
and believed in them
475
00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:37,687
the whole time!
476
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:38,955
Why is the little one so mad?
477
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,123
He's going through something.
478
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:41,791
Now stand up, wet wipe your hands,
479
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:43,193
and put them behind your backs
so we can cuff you.
480
00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:44,461
Oh, thank God.
I'm so tired of running.
481
00:14:44,485 --> 00:14:46,163
- It's only been an hour.
- Stop.
482
00:14:46,187 --> 00:14:47,731
They didn't do anything wrong.
483
00:14:47,755 --> 00:14:49,032
Excuse me, ma'am.
This is police business.
484
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:50,800
I know. I'm Donna, the manager here,
485
00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:52,335
but my real name's Marissa Costa.
486
00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,070
I'm Gio Costa's wife,
487
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:55,405
and I'm the reason they're here.
488
00:14:55,429 --> 00:14:57,340
- You were the informant.
- Yeah, I was.
489
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,142
Marissa's the only reason
we got Costa.
490
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:00,744
And our captain screwed her over.
491
00:15:00,768 --> 00:15:02,179
He wouldn't put her
in Witness Protection.
492
00:15:02,203 --> 00:15:03,680
So you did take the cash. You just
493
00:15:03,704 --> 00:15:05,315
didn't keep it. You gave it to her.
494
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:07,017
We come down here
and check on her periodically.
495
00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:08,485
Yeah, we never spoke,
but if she put an extra wing
496
00:15:08,509 --> 00:15:10,020
in our slut bucket,
it meant everything was okay.
497
00:15:10,044 --> 00:15:11,254
Wait, so I was right.
498
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:12,856
Hitchcock and Scully are good people.
499
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,191
You bet your nips we are, skid mark.
500
00:15:14,215 --> 00:15:15,725
Well,
501
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:18,762
people are complicated.
These two contain...
502
00:15:18,786 --> 00:15:20,197
- multitudes.
- Yeah.
503
00:15:20,221 --> 00:15:21,331
Hey, guys.
504
00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:23,099
I just wanted to say
505
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,367
that I talked to my squad,
506
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:25,402
and we're sorry
507
00:15:25,426 --> 00:15:26,903
we've been so disrespectful
508
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,205
- of your space.
- Really?
509
00:15:28,229 --> 00:15:29,506
- What's going on here?
- Nothing.
510
00:15:29,530 --> 00:15:31,041
We just want to make things right.
511
00:15:31,065 --> 00:15:33,176
You upstairs people are really great,
512
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,045
and there's a lot
we can learn from you.
513
00:15:35,069 --> 00:15:37,447
Well, that is true.
We are pretty great,
514
00:15:37,471 --> 00:15:39,516
and you downstairs people
are gonna figure it out.
515
00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:41,218
- You're all right.
- Thanks, Terry.
516
00:15:41,242 --> 00:15:43,086
- Truce?
- Truce.
517
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,387
Now!
518
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:46,056
What the hell?
519
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,924
You thought the microwave
was a mess before?
520
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:50,193
Well, we just threw
a whole fish in there.
521
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:51,962
What happened to the truce?
522
00:15:51,986 --> 00:15:53,930
- The truce was crap.
- You bet it was.
523
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:55,398
Viva the downstairs people!
524
00:15:57,291 --> 00:15:59,236
What the hell was in that fish?
525
00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:00,804
I don't know. It's from the Gowanus.
526
00:16:00,828 --> 00:16:03,473
It probably ate a bunch of batteries
527
00:16:03,497 --> 00:16:06,076
Diaz, what is going on?
528
00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:07,978
Commissioner Kelly
is still in my office.
529
00:16:08,002 --> 00:16:09,412
I'm so sorry. I didn't know.
530
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,081
We were just having
a minor disagreement.
531
00:16:11,105 --> 00:16:12,415
Well, can it!
532
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,317
I am struggling for the very soul
533
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:15,819
of the NYPD,
534
00:16:15,843 --> 00:16:17,420
so please stop squabbling
535
00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:18,888
over these unimportant things.
536
00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:20,090
Of course, sir,
537
00:16:20,114 --> 00:16:21,091
but it's not unimportant.
538
00:16:21,115 --> 00:16:23,059
The overcrowding, the desks...
539
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:24,261
it's affecting morale.
540
00:16:24,285 --> 00:16:25,996
Jeez, something smells funky.
541
00:16:26,020 --> 00:16:27,264
What happened here?
542
00:16:27,288 --> 00:16:28,832
Uh-oh. Was it a fight,
543
00:16:28,856 --> 00:16:30,333
because it's so crowded?
544
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:31,768
I hope nothing else happens
545
00:16:31,792 --> 00:16:33,270
to make everything worse.
546
00:16:33,294 --> 00:16:34,771
Listen, Kelly,
I'm going to do that interview,
547
00:16:34,795 --> 00:16:36,306
and you can't stop me, so go ahead.
548
00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:38,975
Cut our budget,
close more of the building,
549
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:41,578
open other fake IA investigations
550
00:16:41,602 --> 00:16:43,446
- into my detectives.
- I didn't do that.
551
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:45,448
No, the IA thing... your detectives
552
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:46,516
aren't under investigation,
553
00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:48,285
although it's not a bad idea.
554
00:16:48,309 --> 00:16:50,954
Hey, thanks for the suggestion.
555
00:16:50,978 --> 00:16:52,856
Excuse me.
556
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,924
I need to make a call.
557
00:16:54,948 --> 00:16:56,293
Okay, thank you, sir. Hey, guys,
558
00:16:56,317 --> 00:16:57,994
I have something
super important to tell you,
559
00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,296
but first, Scully, you have
a Hitler sauce moustache.
560
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:00,530
Thank you. Go on.
561
00:17:00,554 --> 00:17:01,831
Internal Affairs isn't actually
562
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:02,866
investigating your case.
563
00:17:02,890 --> 00:17:04,134
That call you got wasn't real.
564
00:17:04,158 --> 00:17:06,036
What? The guy on the phone
565
00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:07,137
sounded legit.
He had a very deep voice.
566
00:17:07,161 --> 00:17:08,471
If it's not IA, who is it?
567
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:09,472
My guess is someone who wanted us
568
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:10,507
to lead them to Marissa.
569
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,934
Which, apparently, we just did.
570
00:17:18,149 --> 00:17:20,434
That's Gio Costa.
How'd he get out of jail?
571
00:17:20,435 --> 00:17:22,584
Probably for good behavior.
He had really great manners.
572
00:17:22,585 --> 00:17:25,015
Yeah, he and his gigantic gun
look like real sweethearts.
573
00:17:25,016 --> 00:17:26,199
- Noice.
- All right,
574
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,495
we gotta get out of here.
Is there a back exit?
575
00:17:27,496 --> 00:17:28,463
- Through the kitchen.
- Great.
576
00:17:28,463 --> 00:17:29,400
All right, listen up, everybody.
577
00:17:29,401 --> 00:17:31,069
We're NYPD. If you could all please
578
00:17:31,070 --> 00:17:32,581
head to the back exit immediately.
579
00:17:32,605 --> 00:17:33,782
Leave the wings, Hitchcock.
580
00:17:33,806 --> 00:17:35,150
No!
581
00:17:36,976 --> 00:17:39,822
Look, Jake, it's the slut sauce!
582
00:17:39,846 --> 00:17:41,390
- It's perfect!
- Hey, guys,
583
00:17:41,414 --> 00:17:42,958
we gotta leave,
and we gotta leave right now.
584
00:17:42,982 --> 00:17:44,660
- Charles, let's go.
- Negative.
585
00:17:44,684 --> 00:17:46,161
I count three,
possibly four gunmen out there.
586
00:17:46,185 --> 00:17:47,729
All right, no one panic.
587
00:17:47,753 --> 00:17:49,098
I'm sure they didn't even
see us come in here.
588
00:17:49,122 --> 00:17:50,799
We saw you go back there.
589
00:17:50,823 --> 00:17:52,401
Okay, so I was wrong about that.
590
00:17:52,425 --> 00:17:53,902
I'm gonna go around back
and cut them off.
591
00:17:53,926 --> 00:17:57,806
Knock this door down, now.
592
00:17:57,830 --> 00:17:59,074
All right, here's the way I see it.
593
00:17:59,098 --> 00:18:00,409
We gotta break out the back entrance
594
00:18:00,433 --> 00:18:01,743
and get these people to the van.
595
00:18:01,767 --> 00:18:02,945
Okay, everyone, just follow my lead.
596
00:18:02,969 --> 00:18:04,580
No, we got you into this mess.
597
00:18:04,604 --> 00:18:06,014
We'll get you out of it.
Follow our lead.
598
00:18:06,038 --> 00:18:07,483
There are armed men out there.
599
00:18:07,507 --> 00:18:08,851
We don't even have
our bulletproof vests.
600
00:18:08,875 --> 00:18:10,119
We can use the slut sauce.
601
00:18:10,143 --> 00:18:11,854
That's insane. It's not even solid.
602
00:18:11,878 --> 00:18:13,188
The bullets will go right through it.
603
00:18:13,212 --> 00:18:15,023
If you don't think
the slut sauce is solid,
604
00:18:15,047 --> 00:18:17,192
then you might want to talk
to my rock-hard arteries.
605
00:18:17,216 --> 00:18:19,094
We're doing this, and that's final.
606
00:18:19,118 --> 00:18:22,664
Scully, it's time to sauce up.
607
00:18:26,692 --> 00:18:28,437
- Why'd you stop yelling?
- Look.
608
00:18:30,129 --> 00:18:31,874
Oh, thank god.
609
00:18:31,898 --> 00:18:33,542
My wife and my dad are here.
610
00:18:33,566 --> 00:18:34,843
I mean, Captain Dad.
611
00:18:34,867 --> 00:18:36,145
I mean, I know who my dad is.
612
00:18:36,169 --> 00:18:37,679
It's you. Hi, Amy.
613
00:18:37,703 --> 00:18:38,981
SWAT just cleared out the dining room.
614
00:18:39,005 --> 00:18:40,716
- They got everyone.
- Copy that.
615
00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:42,017
All right, Charles, you can
bring everyone out.
616
00:18:42,041 --> 00:18:43,785
The Nine-Nine is here.
617
00:18:43,809 --> 00:18:46,121
See, everyone, I told you
we had it all under control.
618
00:18:46,145 --> 00:18:47,456
There was no need to panic.
619
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:48,824
You're dead, Marissa.
620
00:18:50,983 --> 00:18:54,796
No!
621
00:18:57,823 --> 00:18:59,201
Are you guys okay? Did you get hit?
622
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:01,003
No. It hit the tub,
623
00:19:01,027 --> 00:19:02,137
but the bullet didn't make it through.
624
00:19:02,161 --> 00:19:03,238
The slut sauce...
625
00:19:03,262 --> 00:19:04,540
it saved you.
626
00:19:04,564 --> 00:19:05,741
You bet your nips it did,
627
00:19:05,765 --> 00:19:06,842
skid mark.
628
00:19:06,866 --> 00:19:08,477
Oh, Hitchcock.
629
00:19:08,501 --> 00:19:10,212
You suck, man.
630
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,514
So I spoke to Internal Affairs,
631
00:19:12,538 --> 00:19:15,250
and since Hitchcock and Scully
did steal that money,
632
00:19:15,274 --> 00:19:16,552
even though it was to help someone,
633
00:19:16,576 --> 00:19:17,986
there have to be consequences.
634
00:19:18,010 --> 00:19:19,688
Desk duty, desk duty, desk duty...
635
00:19:19,712 --> 00:19:20,822
One year of desk duty.
636
00:19:20,846 --> 00:19:21,857
Yeah!
637
00:19:21,881 --> 00:19:23,992
Oh, I mean, oh, no.
638
00:19:24,016 --> 00:19:25,827
Thanks for getting there
so fast today, sir.
639
00:19:25,851 --> 00:19:27,162
Were you able
to still do your interview?
640
00:19:27,186 --> 00:19:29,731
He did not. However, I did so.
641
00:19:29,755 --> 00:19:31,200
The real question is
642
00:19:31,224 --> 00:19:32,901
what are police?
643
00:19:32,925 --> 00:19:34,736
I'm sorry. Who are you again?
644
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:36,905
They said they've never had
more viewer complaints.
645
00:19:36,929 --> 00:19:38,240
Controversial and loving it.
646
00:19:39,865 --> 00:19:41,877
- Oh.
- Squad, I want to apologize.
647
00:19:41,901 --> 00:19:44,213
I have been acting
as though nothing mattered
648
00:19:44,237 --> 00:19:45,747
except my pursuit of justice,
649
00:19:45,771 --> 00:19:47,182
but seeing my people in danger today
650
00:19:47,206 --> 00:19:49,251
made me realize
I was being short-sighted.
651
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,086
I do give a hoot.
652
00:19:51,110 --> 00:19:52,854
I give a hoot about all of you.
653
00:19:52,878 --> 00:19:54,022
Are we gonna keep saying
"hoots"? Is this forever?
654
00:19:54,046 --> 00:19:55,224
- I pray not.
- I'm gonna keep
655
00:19:55,248 --> 00:19:56,725
pushing back against John Kelly,
656
00:19:56,749 --> 00:19:58,727
- but not at your expense.
- Thank you, sir,
657
00:19:58,751 --> 00:20:00,062
and we're going to stop
658
00:20:00,086 --> 00:20:01,697
bickering with the upstairs people.
659
00:20:01,721 --> 00:20:03,765
No, Amy.
We're all upstairs people now.
660
00:20:03,789 --> 00:20:05,968
Thanks, Terry.
661
00:20:05,992 --> 00:20:07,381
Mmkay. I clearly missed
662
00:20:07,382 --> 00:20:08,675
a whole thing there.
663
00:20:09,184 --> 00:20:10,461
Hey, man. I just want to say
664
00:20:10,485 --> 00:20:12,063
I'm sorry I didn't listen to you.
665
00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:13,564
I was wrong
about Hitchcock and Scully.
666
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:15,967
No, you were right.
I am too trusting sometimes.
667
00:20:15,991 --> 00:20:17,869
I did a little digging on Dragomir.
668
00:20:17,893 --> 00:20:20,171
Turns out, he's not 15. He's...
669
00:20:20,195 --> 00:20:21,472
- 103.
- 34.
670
00:20:21,496 --> 00:20:23,007
But the orphanage confirmed
671
00:20:23,031 --> 00:20:25,042
he is actually Nikolaj's half-brother.
672
00:20:25,066 --> 00:20:26,511
Anyway, we're taking it slow.
673
00:20:26,535 --> 00:20:28,045
In a few months,
he'll come out to visit.
674
00:20:28,069 --> 00:20:29,914
Hey, thanks for having our back today.
675
00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:31,482
These are from the old studs
of the Nine-Nine
676
00:20:31,506 --> 00:20:33,417
- to the new studs.
- Aww.
677
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,086
- Nice.
- Nice.
678
00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:36,387
Well, I think they drank out of these.
679
00:20:36,411 --> 00:20:37,421
- They're half-empty.
- Definitely.
680
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:38,489
Hitchcock's contact lens
681
00:20:38,513 --> 00:20:39,924
is floating in mine,
682
00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:41,325
which once again begs the question,
683
00:20:41,349 --> 00:20:43,094
what happened to those guys?
684
00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:45,563
I mean, when did it all fall apart?
685
00:20:45,587 --> 00:20:47,231
Hey, Donna, just want to make sure
686
00:20:47,255 --> 00:20:50,101
you're okay here working at...
Wing Slutz.
687
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:51,569
Yeah. It's a good job,
688
00:20:51,593 --> 00:20:53,104
and I'm excited about my new life.
689
00:20:53,128 --> 00:20:54,372
- Thanks.
- Our pleas.
690
00:20:54,396 --> 00:20:55,873
Well, we're gonna go hit the gym
691
00:20:55,897 --> 00:20:57,408
- for the second time today.
- Wait.
692
00:20:57,432 --> 00:21:00,444
You need some protein
to fuel those hard bodies.
693
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:02,513
- It's on me.
- Ah, what the heck.
694
00:21:02,537 --> 00:21:06,450
One wing can't hurt.
695
00:21:24,934 --> 00:21:30,534
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