1 00:00:08,505 --> 00:00:10,234 Attention, squad. 2 00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:11,820 Put your hands together 3 00:00:11,856 --> 00:00:14,664 for the long-anticipated reunion of... 4 00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:17,459 The DDC! 5 00:00:17,503 --> 00:00:18,460 - DD... - C! 6 00:00:18,504 --> 00:00:19,461 - DD... - C! 7 00:00:19,505 --> 00:00:20,462 Put a J with a G... 8 00:00:20,506 --> 00:00:21,507 You get DD... 9 00:00:21,550 --> 00:00:23,465 C! 10 00:00:23,509 --> 00:00:24,640 Uh, the gas face. 11 00:00:24,684 --> 00:00:25,815 What the hell is the DDC? 12 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,164 I don't know, but I love it! 13 00:00:27,208 --> 00:00:28,514 The DDC is the Dope... 14 00:00:28,557 --> 00:00:29,645 - Denim... - Crew. 15 00:00:29,689 --> 00:00:30,994 Our 20-year high school reunion 16 00:00:31,038 --> 00:00:32,953 is tonight, and the party is '90s-themed, 17 00:00:32,996 --> 00:00:34,650 so we're dressing the way we did back then, 18 00:00:34,694 --> 00:00:36,696 AKA hella fresh. 19 00:00:36,739 --> 00:00:38,785 Can't wait to see everyone we graduated with 20 00:00:38,828 --> 00:00:40,656 and lie to them about what I've been up to 21 00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:42,179 for my own amusement. 22 00:00:42,223 --> 00:00:45,356 It's gonna be Fib City, population: Gina Clooney. 23 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:46,575 But Jake, how can you be excited 24 00:00:46,619 --> 00:00:48,185 to return to your high school, 25 00:00:48,229 --> 00:00:49,839 the scene of... Tattlegate? 26 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,152 What's Tattlegate? Why haven't I heard anything about it? 27 00:00:52,188 --> 00:00:54,888 It was junior year and Jake was riding high... 28 00:00:54,931 --> 00:00:57,431 Charles, no one wants to hear this story... 29 00:00:57,717 --> 00:00:58,674 from you. 30 00:00:58,718 --> 00:01:01,677 It was junior year, and Jake was riding high. 31 00:01:01,721 --> 00:01:03,766 Sophomore year was rough, but now I was back 32 00:01:03,810 --> 00:01:06,377 with a hot new look: an earring and long hair. 33 00:01:06,421 --> 00:01:08,031 Which was my look, and he just copied it. 34 00:01:08,075 --> 00:01:10,033 And it worked! I was finally cool, 35 00:01:10,077 --> 00:01:11,644 and becoming friends with the most popular kid 36 00:01:11,687 --> 00:01:13,776 in school: Brandon Bliss. 37 00:01:13,820 --> 00:01:15,648 - Dope name; sounds hot. - He was hot, Rosa. 38 00:01:15,691 --> 00:01:17,519 For the record, he could barely read. 39 00:01:17,563 --> 00:01:18,957 He didn't have to read, Gina. 40 00:01:18,993 --> 00:01:20,810 He lost his virginity when he was 12 years old. 41 00:01:20,846 --> 00:01:22,121 Which is horrifying. 42 00:01:22,157 --> 00:01:23,154 But it wasn't back then! 43 00:01:23,190 --> 00:01:25,895 Back then, it was... everything. 44 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,703 He asked me to ditch class one day with him 45 00:01:27,747 --> 00:01:29,052 and his buddies, steal a school van, 46 00:01:29,096 --> 00:01:30,663 and go get drunk at his parents' cabin, 47 00:01:30,706 --> 00:01:32,229 but the day before we were supposed to go, 48 00:01:32,273 --> 00:01:34,841 someone ratted Brandon out, and he got suspended! 49 00:01:34,884 --> 00:01:36,407 He thought I was the one who told, 50 00:01:36,451 --> 00:01:37,757 and from that day forward, 51 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,933 everyone called me "The Tattler." 52 00:01:39,976 --> 00:01:41,630 Tattler. It's a sexy nickname. 53 00:01:41,674 --> 00:01:43,097 It was not a sexy nickname! 54 00:01:43,133 --> 00:01:44,415 It was a scarlet letter, 55 00:01:44,459 --> 00:01:46,146 and it ruined my senior year, 56 00:01:46,592 --> 00:01:49,246 but luckily, I'm over all that now. 57 00:01:49,290 --> 00:01:51,211 Not me. I'm gonna go to this reunion tonight 58 00:01:51,247 --> 00:01:52,578 and kick Brandon Bliss in the butthole. 59 00:01:52,614 --> 00:01:54,689 Horrifying, but that won't be necessary, Charles, 60 00:01:54,725 --> 00:01:56,776 for my awesome life will do the butthole-kicking this eve. 61 00:01:56,819 --> 00:01:58,908 I've got a sweet job, and a super-smart, 62 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,649 incredible wife. Tonight's gonna be awesome. 63 00:02:00,693 --> 00:02:02,103 - Right, Gina? - Damn straight! 64 00:02:02,139 --> 00:02:03,304 - DD... - C! 65 00:02:03,347 --> 00:02:04,392 - DD... - C! 66 00:02:04,435 --> 00:02:05,393 - DD... - C! 67 00:02:20,595 --> 00:02:24,595 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com 68 00:02:26,675 --> 00:02:28,329 Wow, this place hasn't changed 69 00:02:28,372 --> 00:02:30,026 one bit in 20 years. 70 00:02:30,070 --> 00:02:32,187 It's a real indictment of the public school system. 71 00:02:32,223 --> 00:02:33,870 Jake! Tina! 72 00:02:33,906 --> 00:02:35,902 No way! Mikey J! 73 00:02:35,945 --> 00:02:37,425 Amy, this is Mike Joseph, 74 00:02:37,468 --> 00:02:41,037 AKA the lead funk bassist from my legendary ska band, 75 00:02:41,081 --> 00:02:44,258 Skalvester Skallone. We had one song. 76 00:02:44,301 --> 00:02:45,476 ♪ Oh ♪ 77 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,693 ♪ Stop or my mom will ska ♪ 78 00:02:48,566 --> 00:02:50,394 ♪ Stop or my mom will ska ♪ 79 00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:52,092 - Whoa! - Hey, man. 80 00:02:52,135 --> 00:02:54,790 We were so bad. I can't believe we thought we were gonna make it. 81 00:02:54,834 --> 00:02:56,426 So what have you been up to, man? 82 00:02:56,462 --> 00:02:58,682 Well, I'm still trying to get the music thing started. 83 00:02:58,838 --> 00:03:00,615 Oh, cool, cool, cool. Never give up. 84 00:03:00,651 --> 00:03:02,798 Anyway, how are you, Gina? What have you been up to? 85 00:03:02,842 --> 00:03:04,670 Nothing crazy. Yeah, just writing 86 00:03:04,713 --> 00:03:06,584 - those "Thor" movies. - Seriously? 87 00:03:06,628 --> 00:03:08,325 Oh, my God. Tell me everything. 88 00:03:08,369 --> 00:03:10,676 Legally, I can't get into it too much, 89 00:03:10,719 --> 00:03:11,938 but just know that the next one 90 00:03:11,981 --> 00:03:13,461 will have a lot more full frontal. 91 00:03:13,504 --> 00:03:16,187 Well, if you need some ska for your soundtrack... 92 00:03:16,223 --> 00:03:17,241 Oh! 93 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:18,684 This is them. This is Marvel. 94 00:03:18,727 --> 00:03:22,905 They probably want to talk about "Thor 4: More Thor." I gotta take this. 95 00:03:22,949 --> 00:03:23,993 - Okay? - All right. 96 00:03:24,221 --> 00:03:25,831 So how you doing, Jake? 97 00:03:25,867 --> 00:03:28,476 I know the end of high school was a little... rough. 98 00:03:28,519 --> 00:03:30,086 Oh, uh... 99 00:03:30,130 --> 00:03:32,523 Jake's killing it now. He's a detective. 100 00:03:32,567 --> 00:03:35,309 Irie, mon! Irie, irie! 101 00:03:35,352 --> 00:03:36,484 Very nice. 102 00:03:36,527 --> 00:03:38,616 God, you must have some crazy stories. 103 00:03:38,660 --> 00:03:40,923 Oh, I don't know. I mean, is successfully negotiating 104 00:03:40,967 --> 00:03:44,013 a high-tension hostage situation in a bank crazy? 105 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,058 Yes! 106 00:03:45,101 --> 00:03:46,450 Oh, well, then, I guess I do have 107 00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,191 some crazy stories, mon! 108 00:03:49,584 --> 00:03:52,326 Gosh, it's so cool how we all still dress the same. 109 00:03:54,241 --> 00:03:56,025 Is it so much to ask? You know what I'm saying? 110 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,723 Why is everyone gathered around the radio? 111 00:03:57,766 --> 00:03:59,986 Ooh, are they testing the emergency broadcasting system? 112 00:04:00,029 --> 00:04:01,509 What? No. 113 00:04:01,552 --> 00:04:02,902 We're listening to a contest. 114 00:04:02,945 --> 00:04:04,730 This is 93.7, 115 00:04:04,773 --> 00:04:06,122 The Jamhouse, with... 116 00:04:06,166 --> 00:04:08,037 JC and the Horndog! 117 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,431 FM radio... 118 00:04:10,474 --> 00:04:12,563 Yeah, the hosts are beyond disgusting, 119 00:04:12,607 --> 00:04:15,262 but they do a fun game where they play a mystery sound 120 00:04:15,305 --> 00:04:17,133 and callers guess what it is for a cash prize. 121 00:04:17,177 --> 00:04:19,005 Shh, they're about to play the new sound! 122 00:04:21,586 --> 00:04:22,691 It's a crinkle. I solved it. 123 00:04:22,727 --> 00:04:25,448 Yes, but you have to know what object is making the crinkle. 124 00:04:25,484 --> 00:04:26,926 But that's impossible. It could be anything. 125 00:04:26,969 --> 00:04:28,408 Yes, sir. That's the game. 126 00:04:28,444 --> 00:04:29,450 It's a bag of potato chips. 127 00:04:29,493 --> 00:04:30,538 Don't be an idiot! 128 00:04:30,581 --> 00:04:31,887 It's a bag of corn chips. 129 00:04:31,931 --> 00:04:33,236 Well, this is a total waste of time. 130 00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:35,064 Sure, but you can still have fun, 131 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,849 - even if you're wasting time. - That's absurd. 132 00:04:36,892 --> 00:04:38,807 Productivity is what makes things fun. 133 00:04:38,851 --> 00:04:40,093 That's why humans go to work. 134 00:04:41,462 --> 00:04:42,680 It is? 135 00:04:42,724 --> 00:04:44,160 Hey. So you know 136 00:04:44,204 --> 00:04:45,640 how Alicia and I broke up because she moved to London, 137 00:04:45,683 --> 00:04:47,076 then we tried to make it work, 138 00:04:47,112 --> 00:04:48,314 but the distance was too much and we broke up again? 139 00:04:48,350 --> 00:04:50,604 No. The last thing you told me about yourself was that you were bi. 140 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:51,989 Well, a lot has happened since then. 141 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,359 Anyway, I'm dating two other people. 142 00:04:53,395 --> 00:04:55,998 So much juice at one time. I'm drowning. 143 00:04:56,042 --> 00:04:58,087 Oh, gross. Charles, this is why I don't tell you anything. 144 00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,328 - I take it back. - Okay. 145 00:04:59,364 --> 00:05:00,916 Well, it's early stages, but they both tagged me 146 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,527 in a bunch of photos online, and they found out about each other. 147 00:05:03,571 --> 00:05:04,742 - Yikes. - Yeah, I know. 148 00:05:04,778 --> 00:05:06,617 I shouldn't 'gram so much, but my brunch friends say 149 00:05:06,661 --> 00:05:08,010 it's the only way to promote my handmade jewelry line. 150 00:05:08,054 --> 00:05:08,979 Brunch? What? 151 00:05:09,015 --> 00:05:11,134 - Homemade... who... - Charles, focus. 152 00:05:11,170 --> 00:05:13,477 Anyway, they're both annoyed, and now I have to choose one of them, 153 00:05:13,711 --> 00:05:15,104 and I cannot make up my mind. 154 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,382 It's insane. I never have trouble making decisions. 155 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,582 Ugh. Choose the daughter. 156 00:05:19,892 --> 00:05:21,415 I always know exactly what to do, 157 00:05:21,458 --> 00:05:23,540 but for the first time in my life, I am stumped. 158 00:05:23,576 --> 00:05:25,534 Rosa, you've come to the right man. 159 00:05:25,570 --> 00:05:27,247 Boyles are genetically indecisive beings. 160 00:05:27,290 --> 00:05:29,075 So I chose the worst possible person to help me? 161 00:05:29,118 --> 00:05:30,554 No. We've developed 162 00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:32,295 a foolproof system to help us make choices. 163 00:05:32,339 --> 00:05:34,212 It used to take me so long to decide what to wear 164 00:05:34,248 --> 00:05:35,864 that I'd never change my clothes. 165 00:05:35,908 --> 00:05:37,225 Now look what I have on. 166 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,556 Is this different than what you were wearing yesterday? 167 00:05:39,694 --> 00:05:40,766 Barely. 168 00:05:40,913 --> 00:05:42,958 Wow, your life sounds amazing. 169 00:05:43,002 --> 00:05:44,568 I'm really happy it worked out for you, 170 00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:46,832 you know, especially with the whole Tattler thing. 171 00:05:46,875 --> 00:05:49,269 What? The Tattler? Wow. 172 00:05:49,312 --> 00:05:50,879 I haven't heard that in a long time. 173 00:05:50,923 --> 00:05:52,093 Who even was the Tattler? 174 00:05:52,129 --> 00:05:53,521 You. That's why I'm bringing it up. 175 00:05:53,557 --> 00:05:56,057 Oh, right, I remember now that I was misidentified as the Tattler. 176 00:05:56,093 --> 00:05:57,850 That's so funny. But I wasn't the Tattler, 177 00:05:57,886 --> 00:05:58,915 so I'm pretty sure you got this wrong. 178 00:05:58,951 --> 00:06:00,897 No, no, no, I think I go... Hey, Eric. 179 00:06:01,041 --> 00:06:02,973 Didn't people call Jake the Tattler? 180 00:06:03,326 --> 00:06:04,327 Oh, yeah! 181 00:06:05,676 --> 00:06:07,504 Oh, good, more people are getting involved. 182 00:06:07,548 --> 00:06:10,029 After my initial design, they said it couldn't be done. 183 00:06:10,072 --> 00:06:11,857 They said it was too tall, too flashy... 184 00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:13,554 building codes, bureaucracy. 185 00:06:13,597 --> 00:06:16,687 Cut to the Freedom Tower as you see it today. 186 00:06:16,731 --> 00:06:17,863 Wow. 187 00:06:17,906 --> 00:06:19,723 Thank you. Yeah, I agree. 188 00:06:19,759 --> 00:06:21,214 Look, nobody cares about that stuff. 189 00:06:21,257 --> 00:06:22,693 We're all adults now. 190 00:06:22,737 --> 00:06:24,739 You're a cop. I work at a coffin factory. 191 00:06:24,782 --> 00:06:27,002 I'm not sitting around, thinking about how you tattled. 192 00:06:27,046 --> 00:06:28,691 Yes, we all have jobs and work on coffins. 193 00:06:28,727 --> 00:06:30,919 I didn't tattle, but whatevs. We don't have to keep talking about it. 194 00:06:30,963 --> 00:06:33,239 Great. 195 00:06:33,982 --> 00:06:35,173 But you were the Tattler, right? 196 00:06:35,209 --> 00:06:36,316 Brandon Bliss was my friend! 197 00:06:36,359 --> 00:06:37,926 Why would I tattle on my friend? 198 00:06:37,970 --> 00:06:39,928 The nickname was inaccurate, is all I'm saying. 199 00:06:39,972 --> 00:06:41,190 Anyways, as you can tell, 200 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,844 I am totally over it. 201 00:06:42,888 --> 00:06:44,517 Ah, man, it's the Tattler. 202 00:06:44,553 --> 00:06:45,716 I didn't tattle! 203 00:06:46,892 --> 00:06:47,907 So... 204 00:06:48,110 --> 00:06:49,405 I think I might not be over it. 205 00:06:52,104 --> 00:06:53,714 Ugh, this is so unfair. 206 00:06:53,758 --> 00:06:55,020 Everyone remembers me as the Tattler, 207 00:06:55,063 --> 00:06:56,543 but somehow, no one remembers 208 00:06:56,587 --> 00:06:58,023 that Darren "Doo Doo" Donaldson 209 00:06:58,066 --> 00:06:59,503 crapped himself during PE. 210 00:06:59,546 --> 00:07:00,634 Look at him out there, 211 00:07:00,678 --> 00:07:01,983 dancing on the dance floor 212 00:07:02,027 --> 00:07:03,724 like he's lived a doo doo-free life. 213 00:07:03,768 --> 00:07:05,248 Jake, this isn't so bad. 214 00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,491 History is full of great tattlers. 215 00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:09,556 Martin Luther King tattled on racists. 216 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,037 That's a pretty undercutting way of describing his accomplishments. 217 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:13,734 I was trying to help. It felt bad. 218 00:07:13,778 --> 00:07:15,127 It's not even the nickname that bothers me. 219 00:07:15,171 --> 00:07:16,433 It's that I'm being wrongfully accused. 220 00:07:16,476 --> 00:07:18,217 I didn't tattle. I mean, if it was the truth, 221 00:07:18,261 --> 00:07:20,132 go ahead and call me the Tattler all day long. 222 00:07:20,176 --> 00:07:22,430 - Hey, Tattler. - Not cool, Jason! 223 00:07:22,917 --> 00:07:24,354 Let's just go home. 224 00:07:24,397 --> 00:07:25,920 No! We're not going anywhere. 225 00:07:25,964 --> 00:07:28,096 You were wrongfully accused. We're cops. 226 00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:29,924 Let's just find the real Tattler 227 00:07:29,968 --> 00:07:31,230 and prove your innocence. 228 00:07:31,274 --> 00:07:32,231 Yes! I love it! 229 00:07:32,275 --> 00:07:34,755 Why learn to grow when you can fix the past? 230 00:07:34,799 --> 00:07:36,540 This is exactly why I don't need therapy. 231 00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:38,653 Not sure that's the lesson I want you to take away from this. 232 00:07:38,689 --> 00:07:40,262 Too late! We're gonna prove I wasn't the Tattler. 233 00:07:40,298 --> 00:07:41,821 Therapy is a scam. Let's do this. 234 00:07:43,416 --> 00:07:44,417 No. 235 00:07:44,461 --> 00:07:46,245 The sound was more of a "khh." 236 00:07:46,289 --> 00:07:47,768 Ooh, how goes the crinkle hunt? 237 00:07:47,812 --> 00:07:49,640 I see you're not just wasting time. 238 00:07:49,683 --> 00:07:51,642 You're also wasting tin. 239 00:07:51,685 --> 00:07:52,891 It was only one piece. 240 00:07:54,366 --> 00:07:56,612 Okay, it was a ton of tin. 241 00:07:56,648 --> 00:07:58,126 Pretty sure it's a guy eating a sandwich. 242 00:07:58,505 --> 00:07:59,610 I'll prove it to you. 243 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,304 I'm not buying you any more sandwiches, Scully. 244 00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:03,828 - I'm doing this for us! - Guys, we can't fight. 245 00:08:03,871 --> 00:08:05,395 That's what the Horndog wants. 246 00:08:05,438 --> 00:08:07,962 We're getting close. We just need to keep testing more things. 247 00:08:08,006 --> 00:08:09,921 Oh, that's a good idea. 248 00:08:09,964 --> 00:08:11,861 Have you tried a piece of paper? 249 00:08:13,403 --> 00:08:14,360 Is that your crinkle? 250 00:08:14,404 --> 00:08:16,101 Ooh, maybe... oh. 251 00:08:16,432 --> 00:08:18,930 Maybe it's these bags of coffee beans. 252 00:08:18,973 --> 00:08:20,932 All right, sir. I think you've made your point. 253 00:08:20,975 --> 00:08:23,605 My point? Oh, I'm just trying to have fun by wasting time. 254 00:08:24,196 --> 00:08:26,938 Oh, maybe it's this crinkly-crunkly yogurt. 255 00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:30,992 Terry heard a crinkle. 256 00:08:31,028 --> 00:08:32,465 Holt heard a crinkle, too. 257 00:08:32,501 --> 00:08:34,285 So suddenly, it's not a waste of time? 258 00:08:34,321 --> 00:08:35,978 Not a waste of time if we win! 259 00:08:36,657 --> 00:08:37,990 What are you waiting for, Jeffords? 260 00:08:38,428 --> 00:08:39,932 Call the Horndog! 261 00:08:40,168 --> 00:08:41,735 So then I said to Steve, 262 00:08:41,779 --> 00:08:43,824 "What if we drop the '-lications,' 263 00:08:43,868 --> 00:08:45,435 just call them 'apps'?" 264 00:08:45,478 --> 00:08:46,644 That's incredible. 265 00:08:47,350 --> 00:08:49,265 - Do you miss him? - Oh, every day, Laura. 266 00:08:49,308 --> 00:08:51,463 - Every day. - You should talk to Quentin Chase. 267 00:08:51,499 --> 00:08:53,443 He's a big-time Silicon Valley investor now, 268 00:08:53,486 --> 00:08:54,705 and he was just telling me all about it. 269 00:08:54,748 --> 00:08:55,836 Quentin, come here. 270 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,273 You have got to talk to Gina. 271 00:08:57,316 --> 00:08:59,057 She basically invented apps. 272 00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:00,798 They were going to be called "lications." 273 00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:02,016 You really bungled that. 274 00:09:02,060 --> 00:09:03,235 What you been working on? 275 00:09:03,279 --> 00:09:04,976 Currently, I have been working 276 00:09:05,019 --> 00:09:07,510 on an app called Toddler. 277 00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:09,633 It's like Tinder, but for toddlers. 278 00:09:09,676 --> 00:09:10,982 Tinder for toddlers. 279 00:09:11,025 --> 00:09:12,636 I like it. How are you gonna spell that? 280 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:13,811 How many D's? 281 00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:15,813 Five. 282 00:09:16,312 --> 00:09:18,206 All right, we should start by talking to Brandon Bliss 283 00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:20,165 and find out who told him you were the Tattler. 284 00:09:20,208 --> 00:09:21,645 Unfortunately, Bliss is not here. 285 00:09:21,688 --> 00:09:24,256 Probably in the VIP section at a Fatboy Slim concert. 286 00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:26,171 Would that be cool for a 37-year-old? 287 00:09:26,214 --> 00:09:27,825 The funk soul brother is timeless, Ames. 288 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:30,001 All right, I don't know who told Brandon, 289 00:09:30,044 --> 00:09:31,524 but I heard it was someone on the football team. 290 00:09:31,568 --> 00:09:33,439 Okay, well, we need more information than that, 291 00:09:33,483 --> 00:09:35,398 so take me back to the day. Spare no details. 292 00:09:35,441 --> 00:09:36,703 Okay, I saw Brandon 293 00:09:36,747 --> 00:09:38,357 after second period, and everything seemed tight. 294 00:09:38,401 --> 00:09:40,185 - _ - ♪ Hey now, you're an all-star ♪ 295 00:09:40,228 --> 00:09:42,361 ♪ Get your game on go play ♪ 296 00:09:42,405 --> 00:09:44,145 But then, when I saw him after third period... 297 00:09:44,189 --> 00:09:46,147 - _ - something had clearly changed. 298 00:09:46,191 --> 00:09:47,714 ♪ Get paid ♪ 299 00:09:47,758 --> 00:09:49,716 ♪ All that glitters is gold ♪ 300 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,327 After that, there was 301 00:09:51,370 --> 00:09:52,980 little color left in the world for young Jake. 302 00:09:53,024 --> 00:09:56,636 My earring, less gold, my JNCO jeans less purple. 303 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,508 Are you sure you were becoming cool? 304 00:09:58,551 --> 00:09:59,552 Yeah. Why? 305 00:09:59,596 --> 00:10:01,032 I know how to solve this. 306 00:10:01,075 --> 00:10:02,294 We just have to find out which football player 307 00:10:02,338 --> 00:10:03,774 had third period with Brandon Bliss. 308 00:10:03,817 --> 00:10:05,079 We need his class schedule. 309 00:10:05,123 --> 00:10:06,385 Yeah, but where are we gonna find that? 310 00:10:06,429 --> 00:10:08,213 In the coolest room in the school. 311 00:10:10,781 --> 00:10:12,217 Good lord! 312 00:10:12,260 --> 00:10:13,653 You coulda just picked the lock. 313 00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:14,872 I know. I'm sorry. 314 00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,743 I'm just so amped up about Admin. 315 00:10:17,126 --> 00:10:19,877 Okay, this is the Boyle decision-making manual. 316 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,357 One of these sections will help you 317 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,836 with choosing your partner. 318 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,665 Here we go. What do you prefer, eyes or butt, brains or body? 319 00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:26,718 - Brains. - Uh... 320 00:10:26,754 --> 00:10:28,233 Sorry, no, that's for deciding lunch. 321 00:10:28,276 --> 00:10:30,540 - Horrifying. - Oh, I found the romance section. 322 00:10:30,583 --> 00:10:32,324 Now, first, I will need the names 323 00:10:32,368 --> 00:10:34,239 of the two people you're choosing between. 324 00:10:34,282 --> 00:10:36,023 I will not be telling you any information about them. 325 00:10:36,067 --> 00:10:37,607 No problem. We can work with that. 326 00:10:37,643 --> 00:10:39,244 I will just call them by their initials. 327 00:10:39,287 --> 00:10:40,506 - No. - I will call them 328 00:10:40,550 --> 00:10:41,480 - "Couscous" and "Quinoa." - Whatever. 329 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:42,716 Okay, now, for this to work right, 330 00:10:42,752 --> 00:10:44,669 you need to answer these questions without thinking. 331 00:10:45,024 --> 00:10:46,239 - Who makes you laugh more? - Quinoa. 332 00:10:46,275 --> 00:10:47,374 - Who has softer lips? - Couscous. 333 00:10:47,410 --> 00:10:48,605 A new Cirque du Soleil's in town. 334 00:10:48,641 --> 00:10:49,851 You have the two best seats in the house. 335 00:10:49,887 --> 00:10:51,748 - Who are you bringing? - Is this a reward or a punishment? 336 00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:52,658 - You decide. - Quinoa. 337 00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,487 Great. Next question: You die and become a ghost. 338 00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:56,864 The rules of the afterlife are that of the movie "Casper." 339 00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:57,910 Whose house would you rather haunt? 340 00:10:57,946 --> 00:10:59,368 How many more of these questions are there? 341 00:10:59,404 --> 00:11:00,666 309. 342 00:11:01,089 --> 00:11:03,117 - Okay, I've got something. - Oh. 343 00:11:03,153 --> 00:11:04,626 That's not Brandon's profile. It's mine. 344 00:11:04,662 --> 00:11:06,588 I just want a quick peek at your attendance record. 345 00:11:06,793 --> 00:11:07,881 Zero absences. 346 00:11:07,925 --> 00:11:10,101 Oh, mama... 347 00:11:10,144 --> 00:11:11,276 Printing this for later. 348 00:11:11,319 --> 00:11:12,886 Keep it in your pants, Santiago. 349 00:11:12,930 --> 00:11:14,714 Oh, that's exactly where it's going. 350 00:11:16,324 --> 00:11:18,283 Okay, here's Brandon's info. 351 00:11:18,326 --> 00:11:19,763 Third period, first semester... 352 00:11:19,806 --> 00:11:21,460 Any of these people on the football team? 353 00:11:21,504 --> 00:11:24,028 Scott Alford, Taylor Black... wow, Tom Brady? 354 00:11:24,071 --> 00:11:25,856 Different Tom Brady. He was in theater. 355 00:11:25,899 --> 00:11:28,336 Although he was the MVP of that year's production of "Fiddler." 356 00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:29,828 - Hm. - Wait a minute. 357 00:11:29,864 --> 00:11:30,991 Danny Matthews. That's the guy. 358 00:11:31,035 --> 00:11:32,297 He was on the football team. 359 00:11:32,340 --> 00:11:33,559 That's the bastard who set me up. 360 00:11:33,603 --> 00:11:34,993 Yeah, and look at this. 361 00:11:35,605 --> 00:11:37,781 You did so much community service. 362 00:11:37,824 --> 00:11:39,478 Me like-y. 363 00:11:41,887 --> 00:11:43,889 Guys, you know how I thought it would be so much fun 364 00:11:43,925 --> 00:11:45,121 to lie to everyone tonight? 365 00:11:45,157 --> 00:11:46,148 Yeah. Did it finally catch up with you? 366 00:11:46,184 --> 00:11:48,920 No, the opposite. Someone wants to buy a company I made up on the spot. 367 00:11:48,956 --> 00:11:50,972 The elevator pitch had him drooling. 368 00:11:51,016 --> 00:11:52,757 As a mother, I'm always struggling 369 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,237 to find quality playdates. 370 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:57,109 Most two-year-olds are boring, lame duds. 371 00:11:57,153 --> 00:11:58,937 All of my daughter's friends suck. 372 00:11:58,980 --> 00:12:01,505 Well, with Todddddler's proprietary algorithm, 373 00:12:01,548 --> 00:12:04,160 you will be matched with top tots, 374 00:12:04,203 --> 00:12:05,335 and those boring duds... 375 00:12:05,378 --> 00:12:06,771 they'll stay where they belong: 376 00:12:06,814 --> 00:12:09,319 the hell away from you and your family. 377 00:12:10,470 --> 00:12:12,603 I'm not really sure how to close this. 378 00:12:12,646 --> 00:12:14,605 Maybe you guys could pretend to be heirs 379 00:12:14,648 --> 00:12:18,174 to a canned-goods fortune who want to buy my company! 380 00:12:18,217 --> 00:12:19,827 Gina, we don't have time for your thing right now. 381 00:12:19,871 --> 00:12:21,655 Oh, smart. Big-time him. 382 00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,048 That's the perfect idea. 383 00:12:23,091 --> 00:12:24,397 I won't forget you when I'm rich. 384 00:12:24,441 --> 00:12:26,094 Thanks so much, Jake and Jake's wife. 385 00:12:26,138 --> 00:12:27,487 She knows your name. Oh, look! 386 00:12:27,531 --> 00:12:29,054 It's Danny Matthews! But he'll never talk 387 00:12:29,097 --> 00:12:30,403 with all these people around. 388 00:12:30,447 --> 00:12:32,013 Not a problem. Just be in the science lab 389 00:12:32,057 --> 00:12:33,667 in ten minutes. I'll get him alone. 390 00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:34,799 What are you gonna do? 391 00:12:34,842 --> 00:12:37,367 Let's just say I'm not above using my feminine wiles. 392 00:12:37,410 --> 00:12:38,977 Danny Matthews, I'm with the school. 393 00:12:39,020 --> 00:12:40,283 You need to follow me right now. 394 00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:42,386 - Is everything... - I said now, mister. 395 00:12:43,982 --> 00:12:45,244 I'm one caller away. 396 00:12:45,288 --> 00:12:46,550 I can't believe we figured it out. 397 00:12:46,593 --> 00:12:48,877 And I can't believe it took you this long. 398 00:12:48,913 --> 00:12:50,993 Yogurt is literally your one thing. 399 00:12:51,029 --> 00:12:52,776 - Okay, okay. - Well, I'm just saying. 400 00:12:52,812 --> 00:12:54,728 If the sound were eating damp rice, 401 00:12:54,764 --> 00:12:56,212 I would've gotten it immediately. 402 00:12:56,255 --> 00:12:57,604 Guys, they're taking another guess. 403 00:12:57,648 --> 00:12:59,302 All right, Brenda from Yonkers. 404 00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,217 It's time for you to name that sound. 405 00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:02,653 Hi. Quick shout-out 406 00:13:02,696 --> 00:13:04,481 to the nurses at United Pediatric. 407 00:13:04,524 --> 00:13:06,091 This money'll do those kids a lot of good. 408 00:13:06,134 --> 00:13:07,614 Cry me a river. Brenda from Yonkers. 409 00:13:07,658 --> 00:13:09,921 We've all had budget cuts. Just take your guess. 410 00:13:09,964 --> 00:13:11,227 Is it Styrofoam? 411 00:13:11,270 --> 00:13:12,793 Wrong! 412 00:13:12,837 --> 00:13:15,056 Oh, I can't believe she guessed Styrofoam. 413 00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:16,225 What a dumb nurse. 414 00:13:16,884 --> 00:13:18,712 Next caller, you're on with the Horndog. 415 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:19,713 It's me! 416 00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:21,976 The sound is a yogurt 417 00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:23,282 being opened. 418 00:13:23,326 --> 00:13:26,329 That is... 419 00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:27,634 Wrong! 420 00:13:27,678 --> 00:13:28,853 What? No! 421 00:13:28,896 --> 00:13:30,855 You b-b-b-blew it! 422 00:13:30,898 --> 00:13:32,766 Damn you, Horndog. 423 00:13:32,987 --> 00:13:34,685 Okay, I have tabulated your responses, 424 00:13:34,728 --> 00:13:36,513 and the results are definitive. 425 00:13:36,556 --> 00:13:38,645 - Amazing. - It's a dead tie. 426 00:13:38,689 --> 00:13:40,125 This is dumb. I'm just gonna end it 427 00:13:40,168 --> 00:13:41,257 - with both of them. - Rosa, stop. 428 00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:42,666 There is one more method. 429 00:13:42,702 --> 00:13:44,347 Ancient Boyles believed 430 00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:47,088 that suspending yourself by your feet forces your blood 431 00:13:47,132 --> 00:13:48,829 to the decision center of your brain. 432 00:13:49,146 --> 00:13:52,877 We call this method the "Upside-Down Coward." 433 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:54,531 You want me to hang from the ceiling like a bat? 434 00:13:54,574 --> 00:13:56,402 The bat is nature's most decisive animal. 435 00:13:56,446 --> 00:13:58,056 The creature that flails around frantically? 436 00:13:58,099 --> 00:13:59,275 Those are all micro-decisions. 437 00:13:59,318 --> 00:14:00,754 Now, let's get you strapped up. 438 00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:02,930 How do you feel? 439 00:14:02,974 --> 00:14:04,062 Nauseous. 440 00:14:04,105 --> 00:14:05,903 Good. It's working. 441 00:14:06,151 --> 00:14:07,326 - Q? - Yeah. 442 00:14:07,370 --> 00:14:08,327 Get off the phone. 443 00:14:08,371 --> 00:14:09,459 Now, I'm not sure 444 00:14:09,502 --> 00:14:10,895 how serious you were about funding, 445 00:14:10,938 --> 00:14:14,507 but I should tell you there's 103 other bidders. 446 00:14:14,551 --> 00:14:16,596 Oof, I am not a fan of getting into bidding wars. 447 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,251 Then don't make an offer, 'cause I want babies on my app, 448 00:14:19,295 --> 00:14:21,079 but not in my boardroom. 449 00:14:21,122 --> 00:14:22,298 Oh, damn, Gina. 450 00:14:22,341 --> 00:14:23,951 Did you just "oh, damn" yourself? 451 00:14:23,995 --> 00:14:25,039 Someone had to. 452 00:14:25,083 --> 00:14:25,998 Okay. 453 00:14:27,472 --> 00:14:28,652 Let's talk numbers. 454 00:14:28,695 --> 00:14:30,523 Mr. Peralta, I believe you know Danny Matthews. 455 00:14:30,567 --> 00:14:32,308 Jake. Hey, what's going on, man? 456 00:14:32,351 --> 00:14:33,526 The answer to that question 457 00:14:33,570 --> 00:14:36,486 goes back to a brisk day in 1997, 458 00:14:36,846 --> 00:14:38,923 a day you told a lie. 459 00:14:38,966 --> 00:14:42,056 But the lying stops right now! 460 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:43,623 Oh, no! 461 00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:45,321 You broke some poor kid's science project! 462 00:14:45,364 --> 00:14:46,427 We have to fix it. 463 00:14:46,463 --> 00:14:47,768 Kind of in the middle of something. 464 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,195 Oh, you know what? Krebs cycle. I got this. 465 00:14:50,238 --> 00:14:52,023 Great. So, Danny, 466 00:14:52,066 --> 00:14:53,154 true or false? 467 00:14:53,198 --> 00:14:54,460 You were on the football team. 468 00:14:54,504 --> 00:14:56,201 - True? - And true or false: 469 00:14:56,244 --> 00:14:58,290 you had third period with Brandon Bliss. 470 00:14:58,334 --> 00:14:59,639 Mm, I honestly don't remember... 471 00:14:59,683 --> 00:15:01,032 It was true! We checked the records, 472 00:15:01,075 --> 00:15:02,512 and I have one more question. 473 00:15:02,555 --> 00:15:04,340 Ooh, Jake, can you get me that oxygen on the floor? 474 00:15:04,383 --> 00:15:05,565 - Little red guy. - What? 475 00:15:05,601 --> 00:15:07,134 Sorry. You know what? Yeah, I'll get it. 476 00:15:08,256 --> 00:15:09,432 Why did you tell Brandon Bliss 477 00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:10,911 that I was the Tattler? 478 00:15:10,955 --> 00:15:12,522 Because you were. I saw you talking to principal. 479 00:15:12,565 --> 00:15:13,784 I remember it, clear as day. 480 00:15:13,827 --> 00:15:15,351 Look, you couldn't have seen me, 481 00:15:15,394 --> 00:15:16,917 because I wasn't there. I didn't tattle. 482 00:15:16,961 --> 00:15:18,658 Man, it was you, okay? 483 00:15:18,702 --> 00:15:20,704 You had your long hair and your little earring, 484 00:15:20,747 --> 00:15:23,478 and the denim jacket you are literally wearing right now. 485 00:15:24,316 --> 00:15:25,483 Oh, no. 486 00:15:26,057 --> 00:15:27,156 It wasn't me, 487 00:15:28,358 --> 00:15:30,025 but it was the DDC. 488 00:15:30,235 --> 00:15:31,628 Gina. 489 00:15:31,671 --> 00:15:34,239 Jake, guess who just sold her app idea. 490 00:15:34,282 --> 00:15:35,414 Don't trust her. 491 00:15:35,458 --> 00:15:36,894 Everything she's told you is a lie. 492 00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:38,417 She made up the company and everything else. 493 00:15:38,461 --> 00:15:39,636 She's a liar. 494 00:15:39,679 --> 00:15:41,246 Jake, whatever strategy this is 495 00:15:41,289 --> 00:15:43,074 is not necessary. I already closed the deal. 496 00:15:43,117 --> 00:15:44,684 I know you were the Tattler. 497 00:15:48,544 --> 00:15:50,455 Amy, I'm ready to go. 498 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:51,535 Yep, totally. 499 00:15:51,782 --> 00:15:53,087 I'm almost done with this project, 500 00:15:53,123 --> 00:15:54,559 but I don't need to finish it, 501 00:15:54,595 --> 00:15:55,727 because what matters 502 00:15:55,763 --> 00:15:57,721 is that you are going through something, 503 00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:00,780 and as your wife, and love of your life... 504 00:16:00,816 --> 00:16:02,470 Are you vamping so you can finish that? 505 00:16:02,513 --> 00:16:03,862 I only have two molecules left. 506 00:16:03,906 --> 00:16:06,082 - Come on, man. - Jake, we need to talk. 507 00:16:06,126 --> 00:16:07,779 Yeah, you guys do need to talk. 508 00:16:07,823 --> 00:16:10,565 That sounds excellent. Friendship, so much history... 509 00:16:10,608 --> 00:16:12,306 I'm just gonna get this out of your way. 510 00:16:12,349 --> 00:16:13,821 Oh, man. 511 00:16:14,647 --> 00:16:15,807 What the hell, Gina? 512 00:16:15,843 --> 00:16:17,615 You ruined my entire senior year. 513 00:16:17,659 --> 00:16:18,965 How could you do that to me? 514 00:16:19,008 --> 00:16:20,401 Jake, I was only trying to help. 515 00:16:20,444 --> 00:16:21,968 You were hanging out with those guys 516 00:16:22,011 --> 00:16:23,677 and getting close, and they weren't good people. 517 00:16:23,882 --> 00:16:25,797 Do you know why Brandon wasn't at the reunion tonight? 518 00:16:25,841 --> 00:16:27,234 I don't know. Probably 'cause he was shooting 519 00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:28,539 a beer commercial where the whole plot 520 00:16:28,583 --> 00:16:29,793 was that everyone wanted to sleep with him. 521 00:16:29,829 --> 00:16:31,542 No, 'cause he's on parole. 522 00:16:31,586 --> 00:16:33,631 He's not allowed to leave the state of Delaware. 523 00:16:33,675 --> 00:16:35,459 Oh, okay, so that's obviously a bummer, 524 00:16:35,503 --> 00:16:36,983 but I wasn't gonna end up like him. 525 00:16:37,026 --> 00:16:39,420 You were starting to. You wanted to steal a van with him, 526 00:16:39,463 --> 00:16:41,782 and I told you not to, and you weren't listening to me. 527 00:16:41,818 --> 00:16:43,815 I mean, what would've happened if you got caught? 528 00:16:43,976 --> 00:16:44,991 I don't know. 529 00:16:45,034 --> 00:16:46,807 You would never have become a cop. 530 00:16:46,843 --> 00:16:48,559 Yeah, I'm the reason you're a cop. 531 00:16:48,603 --> 00:16:50,170 I'm your origin story, dude. 532 00:16:50,213 --> 00:16:51,780 You can't be mad at me. 533 00:16:51,823 --> 00:16:53,347 I feel like I'm still pretty mad. 534 00:16:53,390 --> 00:16:55,175 Peter Parker wasn't mad at his spider. 535 00:16:55,218 --> 00:16:57,133 Yeah, but they weren't best friends before the bite, 536 00:16:57,177 --> 00:16:59,048 and it still doesn't explain how you let everyone think 537 00:16:59,092 --> 00:17:00,919 I was the Tattler for 20 years. 538 00:17:00,963 --> 00:17:02,921 Well, I didn't want to lose our friendship. 539 00:17:02,965 --> 00:17:04,227 I was being weak. 540 00:17:04,526 --> 00:17:05,694 I'm sorry. 541 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,318 Okay. 542 00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:09,798 And if it makes you feel any better, 543 00:17:09,841 --> 00:17:12,061 that app thing completely blew up in my face. 544 00:17:12,105 --> 00:17:13,506 I mean, my night sucked. 545 00:17:14,063 --> 00:17:15,804 Okay, I can see from your expression 546 00:17:15,847 --> 00:17:17,458 that your night was worse, 547 00:17:17,501 --> 00:17:19,798 and I should've left it at "sorry." 548 00:17:20,156 --> 00:17:21,505 So did you hear? 549 00:17:21,549 --> 00:17:22,593 Someone guessed the sound. 550 00:17:22,637 --> 00:17:24,030 It was a bag of chips. 551 00:17:24,073 --> 00:17:25,335 Wow. So the lesson here 552 00:17:25,379 --> 00:17:26,989 is to listen to Hitchcock and Scully more? 553 00:17:27,033 --> 00:17:28,338 - No, that can't be possible. - Yeah, I don't think 554 00:17:28,382 --> 00:17:29,905 - we earned that today. - Agreed. 555 00:17:29,948 --> 00:17:31,689 Sorry for dragging you into that dumb game. 556 00:17:31,733 --> 00:17:33,909 You were right. It was a waste of time. 557 00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:35,031 No, it wasn't. 558 00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:37,339 Even though it was pointless, I did enjoy myself. 559 00:17:37,375 --> 00:17:39,132 I can't wait to go home and tell Kevin 560 00:17:39,175 --> 00:17:42,048 you can have fun without being productive. 561 00:17:42,091 --> 00:17:44,688 Hey, guys, they're about to play the new mystery sound. 562 00:17:45,138 --> 00:17:46,400 I can tell Kevin tomorrow. 563 00:17:46,443 --> 00:17:47,705 I'll bet Sharon's already asleep. 564 00:17:47,749 --> 00:17:49,403 And I've got no one in my life. 565 00:17:49,446 --> 00:17:51,619 Scully, play that damn noise. 566 00:17:52,346 --> 00:17:54,060 Quentin, can I talk to you for a minute? 567 00:17:54,103 --> 00:17:55,800 Are you here to give me a long speech 568 00:17:55,844 --> 00:17:57,367 about how you still deserve my money? 569 00:17:57,411 --> 00:17:58,412 No. 570 00:17:58,455 --> 00:17:59,630 I am. 571 00:17:59,674 --> 00:18:01,067 Very cool entrance. 572 00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:02,416 Thank you. Listen. 573 00:18:02,459 --> 00:18:04,331 Gina Linetti is not a perfect person. 574 00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:06,811 Mm, I'm hoping this gets more supportive as it goes along. 575 00:18:06,855 --> 00:18:08,204 But what she lacks in perfection, 576 00:18:08,248 --> 00:18:09,771 she makes up for 577 00:18:09,814 --> 00:18:11,468 with an utter and total belief that she is perfect. 578 00:18:11,512 --> 00:18:12,817 Ooh, you said "but," and then you said 579 00:18:12,861 --> 00:18:14,645 - something worse. - She is fiercely loyal. 580 00:18:15,191 --> 00:18:17,213 She will do the right thing for you 581 00:18:17,441 --> 00:18:19,133 even when you can't see it for yourself, 582 00:18:20,017 --> 00:18:22,479 and she's saved my ass countless times. 583 00:18:22,523 --> 00:18:23,741 And it's been 12. I counted. 584 00:18:23,785 --> 00:18:25,221 She came up with an idea on the spot 585 00:18:25,265 --> 00:18:26,701 that you were interested in. 586 00:18:26,744 --> 00:18:29,095 Imagine what she could do with time and resources. 587 00:18:29,138 --> 00:18:31,009 Do the world a favor. 588 00:18:31,053 --> 00:18:33,316 Invest in Gina Linetti. 589 00:18:37,190 --> 00:18:38,408 Hard pass. 590 00:18:38,452 --> 00:18:40,280 - What? - But my great speech. 591 00:18:40,323 --> 00:18:41,585 Yeah, the speech was great, 592 00:18:41,629 --> 00:18:44,284 but I've also been lying the whole night. 593 00:18:44,327 --> 00:18:45,720 I'm not a tech mogul. 594 00:18:45,763 --> 00:18:47,069 I came here to mess with people. 595 00:18:47,113 --> 00:18:48,940 - How dare you? - Speaking of which, 596 00:18:48,984 --> 00:18:50,899 did either one of you drive? 'Cause I could use a ride. 597 00:18:50,942 --> 00:18:53,162 - No, Quentin. - Oh, Quentin. 598 00:18:54,468 --> 00:18:55,686 Okay. 599 00:18:55,730 --> 00:18:56,992 Now open your eyes, 600 00:18:57,035 --> 00:18:59,255 and the person you are meant to be with 601 00:18:59,299 --> 00:19:01,190 should appear before you. 602 00:19:03,825 --> 00:19:05,479 Sorry. I was just watching. 603 00:19:05,522 --> 00:19:07,289 Get out of here, Hitchcock! 604 00:19:07,872 --> 00:19:09,831 - Ugh. - This isn't working. 605 00:19:09,874 --> 00:19:11,267 I'm no closer to making a decision. 606 00:19:11,311 --> 00:19:12,573 I'm jumping down. 607 00:19:12,616 --> 00:19:14,140 Well, you can't just jump down. 608 00:19:14,662 --> 00:19:16,577 - My goodness! - It's over. 609 00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:17,752 I'm gonna put 'em both in a group text 610 00:19:17,795 --> 00:19:18,883 - and say "peace out." - Uh, no! 611 00:19:18,927 --> 00:19:20,189 There's still more options. 612 00:19:20,233 --> 00:19:21,582 We haven't even done roleplay yet. 613 00:19:21,625 --> 00:19:22,749 What? 614 00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,027 Ugh. 615 00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:26,717 I took too long getting back to Quinoa and they got mad and ended it. 616 00:19:26,761 --> 00:19:28,284 And that's how it's done. 617 00:19:28,328 --> 00:19:29,957 - What are you talking about? - The process worked. 618 00:19:29,993 --> 00:19:31,635 Boyles don't make decisions. 619 00:19:31,679 --> 00:19:32,984 We delay our decisions 620 00:19:33,028 --> 00:19:34,682 until the universe makes them for us. 621 00:19:34,725 --> 00:19:36,858 That way, we never make a wrong choice. 622 00:19:36,901 --> 00:19:39,034 That is very sad, but also, I guess it worked. 623 00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:40,427 - Mm-hmm. - I do feel pretty good. 624 00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:42,124 Couscous is dope. She's funny. 625 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:43,604 Couscous is a she! I knew it! 626 00:19:43,647 --> 00:19:45,606 - Did you? - No, and I still don't know. 627 00:19:45,649 --> 00:19:47,651 There's equal chance you called them "she" to throw me off. 628 00:19:47,695 --> 00:19:48,808 You get me, Boyle. 629 00:19:50,872 --> 00:19:54,049 So I think I figured out an awesome and dramatic way 630 00:19:54,092 --> 00:19:56,399 to reveal that I was the Tattler. 631 00:19:56,443 --> 00:19:58,184 It'll be a dance. There'll be costumes. 632 00:19:58,227 --> 00:20:00,664 Gina, it's fine. I don't care anymore. 633 00:20:00,708 --> 00:20:02,666 - It's all in the past. - Oh, thank God. 634 00:20:02,710 --> 00:20:04,190 That is such a relief, 635 00:20:04,233 --> 00:20:06,453 'cause I didn't want people thinking I was a tattler. 636 00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:08,368 Where's Amy? 637 00:20:08,411 --> 00:20:09,630 She is in the library, writing 638 00:20:09,673 --> 00:20:10,979 a book report on "Jane Eyre," 639 00:20:11,022 --> 00:20:13,503 and she told me "not to wait up." 640 00:20:13,547 --> 00:20:14,678 - Oy. - Yeah. 641 00:20:16,071 --> 00:20:17,725 Thanks for trying to help with Quentin. 642 00:20:17,768 --> 00:20:19,248 It's funny. Even though it wasn't real, 643 00:20:19,292 --> 00:20:22,118 it was so fun, imagining running my own company. 644 00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:23,373 So why don't your pursue it? 645 00:20:23,409 --> 00:20:25,689 I can't raise my kid and create an app 646 00:20:25,733 --> 00:20:27,300 and work at the Nine-Nine. It's too much. 647 00:20:27,343 --> 00:20:29,519 Well, then prepare for me to murder your parents 648 00:20:29,563 --> 00:20:30,607 right in front of your face. 649 00:20:30,651 --> 00:20:31,826 - Rude. - No. 650 00:20:31,869 --> 00:20:33,393 It's Batman's origin story, 651 00:20:33,436 --> 00:20:35,308 like the radioactive spider thing you did with me. 652 00:20:35,351 --> 00:20:36,874 I don't read comic books. 653 00:20:38,180 --> 00:20:39,616 You helped me become who I am, 654 00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:41,314 so now I'm gonna return the favor. 655 00:20:43,272 --> 00:20:44,256 Gina... 656 00:20:45,056 --> 00:20:46,971 I think your talents might be wasted at the Nine-Nine. 657 00:20:47,406 --> 00:20:49,713 I love you, but it might be time for you to move on. 658 00:20:49,757 --> 00:20:51,367 Um, are you firing me? 659 00:20:51,411 --> 00:20:53,369 What? No. I don't think I could even do that. 660 00:20:53,413 --> 00:20:54,675 Good, because I quit. 661 00:20:54,718 --> 00:20:56,154 You know, tonight I realized 662 00:20:56,198 --> 00:20:57,547 that my talents 663 00:20:57,591 --> 00:20:59,070 are being wasted at the Nine-Nine. 664 00:20:59,114 --> 00:21:00,985 Okay, that's kind of exactly what I just said. 665 00:21:01,029 --> 00:21:03,406 Jake, let me finish. This is serious. 666 00:21:04,512 --> 00:21:06,075 It's time for me to move on. 667 00:21:06,339 --> 00:21:07,967 For real, though, it is. 668 00:21:08,341 --> 00:21:09,298 Really? 669 00:21:13,536 --> 00:21:15,304 Okay. 670 00:21:15,533 --> 00:21:16,777 Proud of you. 671 00:21:17,001 --> 00:21:18,133 Thank you. 672 00:21:18,176 --> 00:21:19,395 I'm proud of me, too. 673 00:21:20,767 --> 00:21:21,899 Guys! 674 00:21:22,268 --> 00:21:23,530 Vice principal caught me in the library. 675 00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:24,605 Let's roll! 676 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:30,280 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com