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Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
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Ames, super important question.
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Which one of these shirts
should I wear to dinner
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- with your mom tonight?
- Those are exactly the same.
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I have a signature look, Rosa.
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Put on a T-shirt for all I care.
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It doesn't matter what you wear.
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Of course it matters.
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He has to wear the smaller checks.
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Big checks wash him out.
Where are you, Amy?
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It doesn't matter, because
the night is already ruined.
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My stupid mother invited
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my stupid brother David to join us.
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I thought you liked your brothers.
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I have seven brothers, Rosa,
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and I like all of them except David.
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Perfect David.
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David graduated at the top of his class
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at the police academy.
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David took a bullet for the mayor.
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David bakes his own bread.
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Ooh, and does this David have a sister?
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- Yes. Amy is his sister.
- And what's her deal?
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You were at the wedding, Hitchcock.
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I'm just gonna call and cancel.
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I really don't want
to have dinner with my mom
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fawning all over the golden boy.
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I'm sure your mom
loves you both equally.
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No, she definitely doesn't.
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My parents arrange
the photos of their kids
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by who makes them the proudest.
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Number one goes on the mantel
above the fireplace,
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two through four on the piano,
and the rest
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- are on the staircase.
- This is wack.
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- So David's on the mantel?
- Always.
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Meanwhile, my picture
gathers dust on the piano.
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- The piano's not that bad.
- Nobody in the family even plays, Rosa.
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At least people use the stairs.
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All right, David is perfect,
but so are you.
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Let's just go tonight,
and I'll be your hype man.
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You know how good I am
at talking you up.
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Here, watch. Hey, Scully.
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Did you know that Amy is super cool?
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No way. Can I get your autograph, ma'am?
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- See?
- Fine, we'll go.
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What, too stuck up for your fans?
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Ya friggin' turd!
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Hey, Captain, Sarge,
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I have a case I want to discuss
with you.
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You want to talk about work
in the break room?
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That's highly unorthodox, but
I suppose we can give it a try.
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Okay, so I have a perp...
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I'm sorry, this is insane.
Let's talk in my office.
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Much better. All right, Boyle,
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what's this case
you wanted to talk about?
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I have a perp, Alfonso Tucker,
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transferring into our holding cell.
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The guy who was dealing
that toxic batch of meth?
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Yeah, and he refuses
to name his supplier.
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I want to send someone into holding,
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undercover as a perp, to see
if they can get him to open up.
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Why don't you do it?
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You're always going on
about your acting abilities
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and that time you played Annie.
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I'm an adult man, Sarge.
I didn't play Annie.
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I was in "Annie."
I played Miss Hannigan.
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Unfortunately, Alfonso knows I'm a cop,
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so I can't be Maxwell Blaze.
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But Terry might be right for the role.
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Ooh, that sounds fun.
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I love flexing my creative muscles.
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In addition to flexing
my actual muscles.
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- Or I could do it.
- What? You hate theater.
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You always say acting
is just professional lying.
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Yes, but this is
what the mission calls for,
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and I'm good at it.
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Kevin and I went to a dinner party
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where we played the French
parlor game "charades."
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I had to act out Elvis Presley.
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He's dead now,
so I portrayed him as such.
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Everyone understood...
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Immediately.
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You know, a little competition
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might bring out the best in both of you.
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We'll hold auditions this afternoon.
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I'll prepare sides.
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Please wear clothes you can move in.
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Okay, let's get to the table
before David gets here.
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My mother loves an early bird.
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Hey, babe, before we go in,
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I know I said I was gonna do
the whole hype man thing, but...
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I know.
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I shouldn't compare myself
to my brother.
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We're all on our own journey.
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What? No. Who told you that garbage?
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I was gonna say, we need a backup plan
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so you can win this thing.
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If it starts slipping away,
I'll pretend to choke,
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and then you give me the Heimlich
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and save my life in front of everyone.
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Aw, thanks for not trying
to make me a better person.
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- I love you.
- Love you too.
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Amy, Jake!
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David and I both arrived an hour early.
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We're sharing a French onion.
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Mother...
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So she's about to jump, and I say,
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"Hey, I can't tell you
this world is a good place,
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but I guarantee you
it's better with you in it."
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And she climbs down off the ledge,
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- and she gives me a big hug.
- Ugh.
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And that was before she won the Oscar?
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I don't know, I don't
really follow pop culture.
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You never cease to impress me, David.
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Hey, speaking of impressive,
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Amy just went to the NYPD shooting range
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and received a gold
certification in marksmanship.
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Oh, I just got
the platinum certification.
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What? That exists? What did you do,
curve the bullets, "Wanted"-style?
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Yeah, I don't know what "Wanted" is.
I don't follow pop culture.
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But I fired ten shots, and they
all went into the same hole.
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Oh, so you actually did.
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Hey, Camila, did you know that Amy
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is the youngest female sergeant
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in the history of the Nine-Nine?
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Yes, I'm very proud of her.
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I'm proud of all my children.
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The sergeant and the lieutenant.
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What? You passed the lieutenant's exam?
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It actually wasn't something
I was planning on taking,
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but then my partner got sick
and I wanted to be able
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to send home extra money
to his wife and kids.
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Then I read the MRI.
He was totally misdiagnosed.
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So long story short, Bo is alive,
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and I got a perfect score
on the test for no reason.
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Oh, man.
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Hey, check out these dinner rolls, huh?
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Love these bad boys.
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I'm just gonna chomp down on that,
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recklessly.
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Oh! Oh, no, Jake! He's choking!
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Let David do it. He has EMT training.
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- I'm here for you, Jake.
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
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You know what...
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Don't worry. It is gonna hurt like hell.
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I think it's actually okay.
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Thank you both so much for coming in.
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This is a safe space
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where choices are welcome.
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Okay, now, I trust that both of you
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had a chance to review the script?
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- Yeah.
- Good. Now throw them away!
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What the hell?
I wrote notes in the margin.
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Terry found his super-objective.
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I want to see you improvise
without the safety net.
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I want to see you become Maxwell Blaze.
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So, Maxwell, what was
your childhood like?
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I was a lookout at 8,
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had my own corner at 10,
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trigger man at 13.
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You know what it's like
to look a man in his eyes
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as the life drains out of him?
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I was bad from a young age.
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At school, I pushed people.
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And this wasn't horseplay.
This was pushing to hurt.
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Do you have a girlfriend at home?
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Used to. She got tired
of me getting locked up.
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She's with my brother now.
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He better hope I never find his ass.
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I do, and you should see her heavy,
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feminine breasts,
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with their perfectly placed nipples.
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Don't get me started on her can.
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- What's your greatest fear?
- I ain't scared of nothing.
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My girlfriend.
I'm scared she'll find out
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about my mistress,
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who also has a perfect can.
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It's smaller, but it's harder.
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Great.
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You both have given me
something totally different.
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I've got a lot to think about.
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Thank you. Next!
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What up, dawgs?
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Norm Scully, reading for Maxwell Blaze.
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Listen, I just did what anyone would do.
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Hey, where'd you go?
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I just couldn't stand there
while the whole restaurant
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gushed over David saving your life.
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Yeah, there was a standing ovation.
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Also, everyone saw you
walk away while I was choking,
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and I don't want to say
you're a villain now,
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but the B-word was tossed around a lot.
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Ugh. I'm sorry.
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I just can't be around him.
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- I shouldn't have come.
- So let's leave.
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I'll tell everyone my stomach
hurts, which it does.
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I'm pretty sure he broke my rib
when he gave me the Heimlich.
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Lieutenant Santiago, a word?
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Why is David's captain here?
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What's going on?
Is there a maniac on the loose,
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and David's the only one
who can catch him
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before he blows up a train?
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00:06:32,252 --> 00:06:33,785
Oh, we could call him the Trainiac.
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We're focused on the same things.
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Sorry, folks, we've
discovered a large quantity
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of cocaine in Lieutenant
Santiago's desk.
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We've had to place him under arrest.
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Oh, no.
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Of course. We'll head over soon.
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So that was my brother.
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He needs me to bail him out of jail.
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I feel so awful for him.
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You are smiling so much.
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No, no, I promise. I feel so, so, bad.
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Rosa D!
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00:07:01,412 --> 00:07:02,889
- Deezer, what up?
- Deezer?
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00:07:02,924 --> 00:07:04,824
Hey, Scully, did you do
something new with your hair?
218
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,493
Same thing as always: put mousse in it
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00:07:06,528 --> 00:07:08,395
while it's wet,
then I watch a scary movie.
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- You the man.
- What is wrong with her?
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00:07:10,632 --> 00:07:12,332
Her brother David got arrested.
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- He's a cokehead!
- And you're happy about this?
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That's savage. I love it.
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- I'm not happy about it!
- All right.
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00:07:17,554 --> 00:07:18,854
Calm down, Littlefinger.
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He's in a lot of trouble, you know.
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00:07:20,209 --> 00:07:21,808
Yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right.
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It's a terrible situation.
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- Let's go bail him out.
- All right.
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Ooh, should I get my hair
blown out first?
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I'm gonna have pictures from
today for the rest of my life.
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Are you... a bad person?
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Casting's up!
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This is not a high school play, Boyle.
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Just let us know who you went with.
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Okay, first of all,
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I want to say that this was
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one of the hardest decisions
I've ever had to make.
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There is so much talent in this room.
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Just tell us, bitch.
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Act as if you already have the role.
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I could have cast any one of you
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and put on a great show,
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but I had to make a call.
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Enough, Boyle. We're all adults.
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00:07:54,843 --> 00:07:56,610
No one cares about this that much.
247
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- It's Captain Holt.
- Captain Holt?
248
00:07:58,179 --> 00:07:59,479
He was the worst one!
249
00:07:59,514 --> 00:08:02,215
No offense, but Holt
was so unconvincing.
250
00:08:02,250 --> 00:08:03,617
He kept referring to his childhood
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00:08:03,652 --> 00:08:05,351
as a soot-covered street urchin.
252
00:08:05,386 --> 00:08:08,154
Yes, I gave myself
a Dickensian backstory,
253
00:08:08,189 --> 00:08:10,760
which apparently
made quite the impression.
254
00:08:10,796 --> 00:08:11,958
I'm sorry, Sarge.
255
00:08:11,993 --> 00:08:14,893
Honestly, I don't think
I'm the right director
256
00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:18,030
to bring your vision
of Maxwell Blaze to life.
257
00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:19,465
What does that even mean?
258
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,733
It means you blew it.
259
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,989
Walk away, Jeffords. Walk away.
260
00:08:23,963 --> 00:08:26,239
Okay, this is gonna be my mantel shot.
261
00:08:26,274 --> 00:08:27,640
So every time Mom and Dad look at it,
262
00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:29,175
they'll be reminded of what David did.
263
00:08:29,210 --> 00:08:30,843
I would say you should chill out,
264
00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:32,178
but this is actually
making me feel great
265
00:08:32,213 --> 00:08:33,912
about my family, so let's dive in.
266
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,915
Everybody say "possession
with intent to distribute"!
267
00:08:37,182 --> 00:08:38,151
Hey.
268
00:08:38,186 --> 00:08:39,908
- Oh!
- Ah, David, hi there.
269
00:08:39,944 --> 00:08:41,354
That was unrelated to your recent arrest
270
00:08:41,389 --> 00:08:42,721
for possession
with intent to distribute.
271
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,257
- How are you?
- Not great.
272
00:08:44,292 --> 00:08:45,691
Yeah, jail is rough.
273
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:47,160
You got to go poop in front of everyone.
274
00:08:47,195 --> 00:08:48,694
I remember when I was in prison,
275
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,228
I held it for weeks,
and when I finally did go,
276
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:51,563
it was...
277
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:53,365
You know what, Jake?
This isn't about you.
278
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,267
So, David, did you get fired,
279
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:57,035
or is there gonna be, like, a hearing?
280
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,337
She's asking so she can
be there to support you.
281
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,605
Oh, yeah, I wouldn't miss it.
282
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,507
- I'm so excited.
- To support you.
283
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,775
That's what I said.
I'm really looking forward
284
00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:05,459
- to being there.
- To support you.
285
00:09:05,495 --> 00:09:06,961
Yeah, we're saying the same thing.
286
00:09:06,996 --> 00:09:08,676
- I am pumped this is happening.
- All right, babe,
287
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,182
maybe your brother doesn't want
to talk about what happened.
288
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,249
- Let's just go.
- It's okay.
289
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:12,884
I owe you guys an explanation.
290
00:09:13,468 --> 00:09:15,787
I actually started doing drugs
when I was a teenager.
291
00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:18,338
You know how Mom and Dad
put so much pressure on us?
292
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:20,592
Eventually I just kind of cracked.
293
00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:22,561
Wait, you felt pressure?
294
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:24,596
You always seemed to effortlessly thrive
295
00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:27,291
at everything. I was so jealous.
296
00:09:27,327 --> 00:09:28,871
But knowing that you also felt
the pressure...
297
00:09:28,907 --> 00:09:31,069
All right, we can drop the act.
I just didn't know who was listening.
298
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:32,570
- What act, now?
- Everything I've said before
299
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:34,120
just now is a lie. I'm being framed.
300
00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:35,890
I've been investigating these dirty cops
301
00:09:35,925 --> 00:09:37,691
who are being paid off
by the Brazilian mob.
302
00:09:37,726 --> 00:09:39,894
Oh, Brazilian mobsters
are so good-looking.
303
00:09:39,929 --> 00:09:41,963
They're just a bunch of Giseles,
the women and the men.
304
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,731
Yes, it's insane. They're all gorgeous.
305
00:09:43,766 --> 00:09:45,399
Anyway, I think I got too close.
306
00:09:45,434 --> 00:09:47,869
Those dirty cops must have
planted the drugs in my desk.
307
00:09:47,904 --> 00:09:50,537
So what you're saying is,
you're not addicted to cocaine?
308
00:09:50,572 --> 00:09:52,874
Amy, it's me. I don't even drink coffee.
309
00:09:52,909 --> 00:09:54,075
I have too much respect for my body.
310
00:09:54,110 --> 00:09:55,209
This is water.
311
00:09:55,244 --> 00:09:56,744
And you didn't feel pressure
312
00:09:56,779 --> 00:09:58,645
- from Mom and Dad?
- No, they're so supportive.
313
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,915
I'd actually love
some constructive criticism.
314
00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:02,483
It's the only way to grow.
315
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:04,385
Anyway, thank you so much
for bailing me out.
316
00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:06,587
If you can just drop me off
at home, I will clear my name,
317
00:10:06,622 --> 00:10:07,951
and things can go back
to the way they were.
318
00:10:07,987 --> 00:10:09,456
The way they were. Great.
319
00:10:09,491 --> 00:10:11,286
It's my favorite way of things being.
320
00:10:12,467 --> 00:10:15,128
Okay, Alfonso, I hope
you like it here in holding.
321
00:10:15,163 --> 00:10:16,319
It's gonna be a while.
322
00:10:18,514 --> 00:10:19,506
So...
323
00:10:21,018 --> 00:10:22,652
- what they got you in here for?
- Drugs.
324
00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:25,455
They want me to flip, but I'm no snitch.
325
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:28,080
I'd rather do the time. How about you?
326
00:10:28,116 --> 00:10:30,471
I pushed a man, just to see him frown.
327
00:10:30,507 --> 00:10:31,940
He is terrible.
328
00:10:32,147 --> 00:10:35,682
Yeah, it's almost like
casting a robotic old nerd
329
00:10:35,717 --> 00:10:36,960
was a huge mistake.
330
00:10:36,996 --> 00:10:38,730
Was it a mistake, Sarge?
331
00:10:38,954 --> 00:10:40,787
Or was it a stroke of brilliance?
332
00:10:40,822 --> 00:10:42,422
- What are you talking about?
- Look, you're a good actor.
333
00:10:42,457 --> 00:10:44,374
You could even be a great one.
But you're too gentle.
334
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:46,258
Life hasn't kicked you around enough.
335
00:10:46,294 --> 00:10:47,527
I mean, I grew up poor,
336
00:10:47,562 --> 00:10:49,195
and my father was emotionally abusive.
337
00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:50,270
It's not enough.
338
00:10:50,306 --> 00:10:51,864
You needed to be rejected by me,
339
00:10:51,899 --> 00:10:54,000
a man you admire so much.
340
00:10:54,035 --> 00:10:56,434
What? So all this was
just to make me mad?
341
00:10:56,470 --> 00:10:58,972
I need you to feel
the anger and resentment
342
00:10:59,008 --> 00:11:03,147
that Tyrone McCallister feels
every single day of his life.
343
00:11:03,183 --> 00:11:04,806
Who's Tyrone McCallister?
344
00:11:05,310 --> 00:11:06,321
You are.
345
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,721
That's the part I wrote
for you all along.
346
00:11:09,757 --> 00:11:11,269
This is so stupid, Boyle.
347
00:11:11,305 --> 00:11:12,538
You can't manipulate somebody like this
348
00:11:12,574 --> 00:11:13,906
and then expect them to get on board.
349
00:11:13,942 --> 00:11:14,942
Right, Sarge?
350
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,020
Sarge?
351
00:11:17,414 --> 00:11:18,927
My name's Tyrone.
352
00:11:20,053 --> 00:11:21,352
Tyrone McGallagher.
353
00:11:21,388 --> 00:11:23,265
- McCallister.
- McCallister.
354
00:11:23,763 --> 00:11:25,497
So I checked up on David's case file.
355
00:11:25,532 --> 00:11:26,999
He passed his drug test.
356
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:29,134
Apparently he has the cleanest
blood they've ever seen.
357
00:11:29,169 --> 00:11:30,735
I knew this was all too good to be true.
358
00:11:30,770 --> 00:11:32,371
Now David's gonna clear his name
359
00:11:32,406 --> 00:11:34,840
and singlehandedly take down
drug dealers and dirty cops
360
00:11:34,875 --> 00:11:36,342
and get another medal from the governor.
361
00:11:36,377 --> 00:11:38,243
It sounds pretty dangerous.
Maybe we should help him.
362
00:11:38,278 --> 00:11:39,811
Pretty sure he can
handle this on his own.
363
00:11:39,846 --> 00:11:41,169
That's never been a problem for him.
364
00:11:41,205 --> 00:11:42,285
All right, look, Ames.
365
00:11:43,647 --> 00:11:45,114
I never had a brother,
366
00:11:45,150 --> 00:11:46,551
but I know four guys who did,
367
00:11:46,586 --> 00:11:48,819
and they would have fights
and squabbles,
368
00:11:48,854 --> 00:11:51,943
but in the end, they always
had each other's shells.
369
00:11:52,358 --> 00:11:53,825
Are you talking about the Ninja Turtles?
370
00:11:53,861 --> 00:11:54,933
Of course I'm talking about
371
00:11:54,969 --> 00:11:56,060
- the Ninja Turtles!
- Ugh.
372
00:11:56,095 --> 00:11:57,362
Look, if something happens
to your brother,
373
00:11:57,397 --> 00:11:58,585
you are gonna regret it,
374
00:11:58,621 --> 00:12:00,563
just like Raph regretted it
when he abandoned Leo
375
00:12:00,599 --> 00:12:01,665
in the Technodrome with Krang.
376
00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:02,867
I don't know what that means.
377
00:12:02,902 --> 00:12:04,435
Well, that's on you. It's a classic.
378
00:12:04,470 --> 00:12:05,870
The point is, if your brother gets hurt
379
00:12:05,905 --> 00:12:07,594
and you don't get his back now,
380
00:12:07,703 --> 00:12:09,336
it's gonna haunt you
for the rest of your life.
381
00:12:09,575 --> 00:12:11,209
You're right.
382
00:12:11,244 --> 00:12:12,877
- Obviously you're right.
- Thank you.
383
00:12:12,912 --> 00:12:14,278
If David gets killed
by the Brazilian mafia,
384
00:12:14,313 --> 00:12:16,180
my parents' mantel
is gonna become, like,
385
00:12:16,215 --> 00:12:17,882
- a permanent shrine to him.
- No, that's not what I meant.
386
00:12:17,917 --> 00:12:19,117
Oh, the thought of it
makes me want to puke.
387
00:12:19,152 --> 00:12:20,394
You've learned the wrong lesson.
388
00:12:20,430 --> 00:12:21,918
Come on, let's go help the bastard.
389
00:12:21,954 --> 00:12:23,054
Don't love how we got here,
390
00:12:23,089 --> 00:12:24,389
but we're going where I want.
391
00:12:26,102 --> 00:12:27,204
I'm glad you guys are here.
392
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,873
So this place is run
by the Brazilian mob.
393
00:12:28,909 --> 00:12:31,174
My CI tells me there's a ledger
with all the cops on payroll
394
00:12:31,210 --> 00:12:32,326
hidden in here somewhere.
395
00:12:32,362 --> 00:12:33,428
I'm guessing it's in that room
396
00:12:33,463 --> 00:12:34,690
surrounded by armed guards.
397
00:12:34,726 --> 00:12:35,758
Those are guards?
398
00:12:35,794 --> 00:12:36,791
I thought they were models.
399
00:12:36,827 --> 00:12:38,021
We need a plan to get past them.
400
00:12:38,169 --> 00:12:40,021
So here's what I'm thinking.
I speak a little Portuguese
401
00:12:40,057 --> 00:12:42,190
from that time I opened
a school in the favelas of Rio.
402
00:12:42,226 --> 00:12:43,191
- Ugh, barf.
- What?
403
00:12:43,227 --> 00:12:44,220
I said barf.
404
00:12:44,256 --> 00:12:45,689
I can't deal with your bragging anymore.
405
00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:46,857
How is that bragging?
406
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,425
I said I speak a little Portuguese
407
00:12:48,460 --> 00:12:50,027
when I'm actually fluent.
408
00:12:50,062 --> 00:12:51,595
Ugh, shut up!
409
00:12:51,630 --> 00:12:53,764
Look, if you're so angry
with me, why are you even here?
410
00:12:53,799 --> 00:12:55,565
Because Jake convinced me if you die,
411
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,564
I'd never hear the end of it
from Mom and Dad.
412
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,200
That's not exactly how I phrased it.
413
00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:00,569
Look, I get it. You're jealous.
414
00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:03,040
I'd be jealous too
if someone was better than me
415
00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:04,374
at everything their whole life.
416
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,143
- Oh, no.
- Not everything.
417
00:13:06,178 --> 00:13:08,244
- I have more allergies than you.
- Not the best brag.
418
00:13:08,279 --> 00:13:09,913
I have so many allergies,
I just found out
419
00:13:09,948 --> 00:13:12,015
- I'm allergic to chia seeds.
- But apparently effective.
420
00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:14,417
I'm allergic to chia and acai berries.
421
00:13:14,452 --> 00:13:16,586
Yeah? My throat gets scratchy
when I eat stone fruit.
422
00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:18,923
Oh, yeah? I'm also
a better dancer than you.
423
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:22,659
Ames, you have badly
misjudged your own abilities.
424
00:13:22,694 --> 00:13:24,116
You think you're better than me?
425
00:13:25,362 --> 00:13:26,366
Oh, damn.
426
00:13:26,864 --> 00:13:28,050
She's got a shot.
427
00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:29,230
_
428
00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:31,267
What, afraid to use your forearms?
429
00:13:31,302 --> 00:13:32,401
Pretty good.
430
00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:34,170
You're not using enough elbow!
431
00:13:34,205 --> 00:13:36,673
Guys, those aren't the parts
people feature when they dance.
432
00:13:36,708 --> 00:13:38,675
Now can we please find a way
to distract those guards?
433
00:13:38,710 --> 00:13:41,040
Don't worry, Jake, 'cause
I'm about to end this thing.
434
00:13:41,076 --> 00:13:42,232
Death drop!
435
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:44,713
Ow!
436
00:13:44,748 --> 00:13:45,714
Ow, ow, ow!
437
00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:47,683
- Oh, that looked really bad.
- Are you okay?
438
00:13:47,718 --> 00:13:49,517
Oh, look, the guards
are leaving their post.
439
00:13:49,552 --> 00:13:50,518
Looks like they're
coming here to help you.
440
00:13:50,553 --> 00:13:51,787
Jake, you should go now.
441
00:13:51,822 --> 00:13:53,855
- Are you sure?
- Yes, I'm "fone."
442
00:13:53,890 --> 00:13:55,290
Oh, well, as long as you're "fone."
443
00:13:55,325 --> 00:13:57,025
- Jake, go.
- All right, fine.
444
00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:00,459
Believe me, they're perfect.
445
00:14:00,495 --> 00:14:02,130
They're about 5 1/2 pounds each,
446
00:14:02,165 --> 00:14:04,650
and they look so good smushed together.
447
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:06,433
Or dangling.
448
00:14:07,771 --> 00:14:10,506
Get off me, man.
449
00:14:10,656 --> 00:14:11,722
- Hey.
- Hey.
450
00:14:11,859 --> 00:14:13,726
- Hey.
- Cops, man.
451
00:14:13,761 --> 00:14:15,013
- Mm-hmm.
- Word.
452
00:14:15,362 --> 00:14:17,295
McCallister, your lawyer's here.
453
00:14:17,330 --> 00:14:18,830
- He wants to talk to you.
- Already?
454
00:14:19,134 --> 00:14:21,366
What the hell, man?
I was just getting started.
455
00:14:21,401 --> 00:14:22,800
And yet it felt like forever.
456
00:14:22,835 --> 00:14:26,203
You were playing at Alfonso,
not with Alfonso.
457
00:14:26,238 --> 00:14:27,957
What are you doing right now, Sarge?
458
00:14:28,274 --> 00:14:29,874
- Listening to you?
- Yes, listening.
459
00:14:29,909 --> 00:14:31,909
What humans do 95% of the time
460
00:14:31,944 --> 00:14:33,911
and Tyrone does, apparently,
none of the time.
461
00:14:33,946 --> 00:14:36,681
I want you to go back
in there and listen.
462
00:14:36,716 --> 00:14:39,096
- Can you do that for me?
- Yeah, okay, jeez.
463
00:14:39,132 --> 00:14:41,419
I mean, you know, look, take
the note about Tyrone or don't.
464
00:14:41,454 --> 00:14:44,021
What do I know? But also, I created him.
465
00:14:45,213 --> 00:14:46,212
Hey.
466
00:14:52,053 --> 00:14:54,265
McCallister, your lawyer
has more questions for you.
467
00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:55,677
- What?
- Why were you doing that?
468
00:14:55,713 --> 00:14:56,901
You said I should listen!
469
00:14:56,936 --> 00:14:59,436
Well, listening doesn't
always mean being quiet.
470
00:14:59,521 --> 00:15:01,155
Sometimes, the only way to listen
471
00:15:01,190 --> 00:15:02,589
is to say something.
472
00:15:02,624 --> 00:15:04,640
I'm listening to you right now.
473
00:15:04,676 --> 00:15:07,144
Do you see how I listen?
This is me listening.
474
00:15:07,179 --> 00:15:08,645
You're pissing me off, Boyle!
475
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,780
Ah, and he's back!
Hold on to that aggression.
476
00:15:10,815 --> 00:15:12,082
Yeah, go! Go, go, go!
477
00:15:14,253 --> 00:15:15,590
What are you looking at?
478
00:15:16,188 --> 00:15:17,333
McCallister.
479
00:15:18,123 --> 00:15:19,823
Terry, Terry, Terry.
480
00:15:19,858 --> 00:15:21,658
I need you to help me see
what I'm not seeing.
481
00:15:21,693 --> 00:15:22,826
Why can't you do this?
482
00:15:22,861 --> 00:15:24,761
You're giving me too many notes.
483
00:15:24,796 --> 00:15:27,410
Okay, well, then I can boil
it down for you into one note:
484
00:15:27,799 --> 00:15:29,466
Tyrone is an ocean.
485
00:15:29,501 --> 00:15:31,067
I don't know what that means.
486
00:15:31,102 --> 00:15:32,836
It means I want you
to be tough but vulnerable,
487
00:15:32,871 --> 00:15:35,005
brave but scared,
jittery but perfectly still.
488
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,054
Also, pace it up a little.
Come on, buddy, you got this.
489
00:15:37,508 --> 00:15:39,408
Man, these stupid cops
won't leave me alone.
490
00:15:39,443 --> 00:15:41,071
What the hell? They think I'm a snitch?
491
00:15:41,252 --> 00:15:42,746
- Not me.
- I hear that.
492
00:15:42,781 --> 00:15:44,180
McCallister, I need to talk to you.
493
00:15:44,215 --> 00:15:45,281
- No!
- Excuse me?
494
00:15:45,316 --> 00:15:46,516
I don't want any more notes.
495
00:15:46,551 --> 00:15:47,951
I've gone undercover before.
496
00:15:47,986 --> 00:15:49,563
Now just back off and let me do this!
497
00:15:51,890 --> 00:15:53,129
Uh-oh, Alfonso,
498
00:15:53,165 --> 00:15:55,692
seems as though we got a pig
in our midst.
499
00:15:56,127 --> 00:15:57,761
Looks like we can only trust each other.
500
00:15:57,796 --> 00:15:59,863
Come on, man,
you're obviously a cop too.
501
00:15:59,898 --> 00:16:01,758
You keep talking
about how nefarious you are.
502
00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:03,293
Jake, let us in!
503
00:16:03,802 --> 00:16:05,268
I think she's gonna be okay,
504
00:16:05,303 --> 00:16:06,870
but she's probably got
a low-grade concussion.
505
00:16:06,905 --> 00:16:09,038
I wish you hadn't tried
to do a death drop.
506
00:16:09,073 --> 00:16:11,607
The ladies on "Drag Race"
make it look so easy.
507
00:16:11,642 --> 00:16:13,108
I know, you don't get
that reference because
508
00:16:13,143 --> 00:16:15,010
- you don't have a television.
- Why?
509
00:16:15,045 --> 00:16:17,313
Amy, I'm sorry for getting
so competitive back there.
510
00:16:17,348 --> 00:16:19,282
You guys are helping me out,
and I should just be grateful.
511
00:16:19,317 --> 00:16:21,717
Of course you're being nice
to me when I'm being a monster.
512
00:16:21,752 --> 00:16:23,386
Well, you know what, Mr. Perfect?
513
00:16:23,421 --> 00:16:24,720
I'm gonna find that ledger,
514
00:16:24,755 --> 00:16:26,055
and I'm gonna save your stupid butt.
515
00:16:26,090 --> 00:16:28,558
- That would be so great.
- Please stop.
516
00:16:28,593 --> 00:16:30,724
- Maybe there's a hidden panel somewhere?
- It's not in the desk.
517
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,126
I bet it's in this old safe.
518
00:16:32,162 --> 00:16:33,562
That seems like a lot of work to open
519
00:16:33,597 --> 00:16:34,963
every time you have to pay a bribe.
520
00:16:34,998 --> 00:16:37,135
I would keep it in this filing cabinet.
521
00:16:39,770 --> 00:16:41,837
I found it!
522
00:16:41,872 --> 00:16:43,772
I beat the golden boy!
I'm the golden girl!
523
00:16:43,807 --> 00:16:45,139
Hey, open up!
524
00:16:45,174 --> 00:16:46,574
- Who's in there?
- Okay, everybody out.
525
00:16:46,609 --> 00:16:47,713
Go! Go, go, go!
526
00:16:50,278 --> 00:16:51,644
Hey, get off me!
527
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,947
My God, you're even more
stunning up close.
528
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:58,452
I called for backup,
but it could take ten minutes.
529
00:16:58,488 --> 00:17:00,228
- Should we storm the place?
- Too late.
530
00:17:00,264 --> 00:17:01,397
Look, they're bringing Jake out.
531
00:17:01,433 --> 00:17:03,972
I told you, I was in the
office because I work there,
532
00:17:04,008 --> 00:17:05,314
and we've actually met a bunch of times,
533
00:17:05,350 --> 00:17:07,052
and it's crazy you don't remember me!
534
00:17:07,088 --> 00:17:08,445
What should we do? If they get away,
535
00:17:08,481 --> 00:17:09,845
we'll never be able to track them.
536
00:17:09,881 --> 00:17:11,514
Shoot out the tires.
537
00:17:11,549 --> 00:17:12,682
You're a way better shot than me.
538
00:17:12,717 --> 00:17:14,217
- You should do it.
- Are you crazy?
539
00:17:14,252 --> 00:17:15,885
- You're the golden girl.
- David, take the shot.
540
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:17,120
I just don't want you to feel
bad about yourself...
541
00:17:17,155 --> 00:17:18,255
Take the shot!
542
00:17:22,227 --> 00:17:24,530
You're under arrest, you beautiful man.
543
00:17:24,997 --> 00:17:26,416
Cuff this son of a bitch.
544
00:17:27,399 --> 00:17:29,799
Oh, my God, you also smell so good.
545
00:17:29,834 --> 00:17:31,581
Brazil!
546
00:17:32,503 --> 00:17:34,203
All right, so first things first,
547
00:17:34,238 --> 00:17:35,804
I think I owe you both something,
548
00:17:35,839 --> 00:17:36,889
and it's this.
549
00:17:38,809 --> 00:17:40,576
Stop clapping!
There's nothing to clap about.
550
00:17:40,611 --> 00:17:42,979
Look, I know you're upset,
but everything went great.
551
00:17:43,014 --> 00:17:44,880
Great? You ruined this mission.
552
00:17:44,915 --> 00:17:46,382
Yeah, we might have gotten him to talk
553
00:17:46,417 --> 00:17:48,117
if you didn't give me notes
every two seconds.
554
00:17:48,152 --> 00:17:50,752
Guys, you performed exactly
the way I expected you to.
555
00:17:50,787 --> 00:17:53,152
It's just that you were both
supporting characters.
556
00:17:53,188 --> 00:17:55,162
Hey, Boyle, I did what you asked.
557
00:17:55,198 --> 00:17:56,392
Alfonso told me everything.
558
00:17:56,427 --> 00:17:57,626
Yes! I knew it would work.
559
00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:58,995
What? What's going on?
560
00:17:59,030 --> 00:18:00,762
You were never my real star, Sarge.
561
00:18:00,797 --> 00:18:02,298
But I needed to create a scene
562
00:18:02,333 --> 00:18:04,666
so that Alfonso would think
that my mission had failed.
563
00:18:04,701 --> 00:18:06,334
Then I could send in...
564
00:18:06,369 --> 00:18:09,570
Ricki Sheetz, DJ by night,
gun smuggler by later night.
565
00:18:09,605 --> 00:18:11,006
Alfonso started telling me
566
00:18:11,041 --> 00:18:12,673
about all the crazy crap
you guys pulled in there.
567
00:18:12,708 --> 00:18:13,975
He just couldn't stop talking
568
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:15,676
till he gave me the name
of his supplier.
569
00:18:15,711 --> 00:18:18,013
Rosa was my leading lady from the start.
570
00:18:18,048 --> 00:18:19,747
- She's the only good actor here.
- She is?
571
00:18:19,782 --> 00:18:21,116
Yeah, you know nothing
about my real life.
572
00:18:21,151 --> 00:18:23,337
- I'm always acting.
- Well done, Boyle.
573
00:18:23,733 --> 00:18:26,254
You've executed this mission flawlessly.
I'm impressed.
574
00:18:26,289 --> 00:18:28,689
Wait, if you were gonna use
Diaz the whole time,
575
00:18:28,724 --> 00:18:29,991
why didn't you just tell us that?
576
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:31,526
Because you two would have given it away
577
00:18:31,561 --> 00:18:32,793
with your terrible acting.
578
00:18:32,828 --> 00:18:34,129
No offense, but I can read
579
00:18:34,164 --> 00:18:36,264
every emotion you're
feeling on your face.
580
00:18:36,299 --> 00:18:38,133
- Can you read this one?
- Actually, yes.
581
00:18:38,168 --> 00:18:40,367
You're trying to be tough, but inside,
582
00:18:40,402 --> 00:18:42,821
you're super impressed by what
I've accomplished today.
583
00:18:44,239 --> 00:18:46,540
Damn, you're right. You're good.
584
00:18:47,129 --> 00:18:49,543
Thank you, everyone,
for joining me again.
585
00:18:49,578 --> 00:18:51,178
To David. You're my hero.
586
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:53,313
And to Amy. You saved my butt.
587
00:18:53,348 --> 00:18:55,201
You're a great cop and a great sister.
588
00:18:55,750 --> 00:18:58,657
Wow. That means a lot coming from you.
589
00:18:59,354 --> 00:19:00,887
You've always been a role model for me.
590
00:19:00,922 --> 00:19:02,556
He's everyone's role model.
591
00:19:02,591 --> 00:19:03,857
That's why he's on the mantel.
592
00:19:05,594 --> 00:19:06,971
I have to go to the bathroom.
593
00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:11,365
Hey, are you okay?
594
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,999
Yeah, I just had to go
to the bathroom, like I said.
595
00:19:13,034 --> 00:19:14,401
Oh, great. I thought you went in there
596
00:19:14,436 --> 00:19:16,070
to give yourself a pep talk
in the mirror
597
00:19:16,105 --> 00:19:17,370
like the girl
from the deodorant commercial.
598
00:19:17,405 --> 00:19:18,905
I don't know what you're referring to.
599
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:20,040
She wants the big promotion,
600
00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:21,407
but there's just one problem.
601
00:19:21,442 --> 00:19:23,342
She got skunk pit. We'll watch it later.
602
00:19:23,377 --> 00:19:24,978
The point is, I came to comfort you.
603
00:19:25,013 --> 00:19:28,047
Aw, thanks, but I actually
feel really great.
604
00:19:28,082 --> 00:19:30,916
I've spent my whole life trying
to beat David at something,
605
00:19:30,951 --> 00:19:33,144
but when you were in danger,
606
00:19:33,787 --> 00:19:35,282
I just didn't care anymore.
607
00:19:35,956 --> 00:19:37,773
All I wanted was for you to be okay.
608
00:19:38,459 --> 00:19:41,127
I may never have the mantel,
but it doesn't matter,
609
00:19:41,163 --> 00:19:42,363
'cause I have you.
610
00:19:42,399 --> 00:19:43,698
Well, I'm very proud of you,
611
00:19:43,931 --> 00:19:45,098
and I also wish you had told me that
612
00:19:45,133 --> 00:19:46,432
before you went to the bathroom,
613
00:19:46,467 --> 00:19:48,167
because I really roasted
your mom back there.
614
00:19:48,202 --> 00:19:50,536
And another thing,
you should appreciate Amy more,
615
00:19:50,571 --> 00:19:51,904
because she's amazing.
616
00:19:51,939 --> 00:19:53,439
And another thing,
when you come to visit us,
617
00:19:53,474 --> 00:19:54,940
you don't have to bring your own coffee.
618
00:19:54,975 --> 00:19:56,242
Our coffee is fine.
619
00:19:56,277 --> 00:19:58,077
And another thing, I know enough Spanish
620
00:19:58,112 --> 00:19:59,612
to understand what idiota means!
621
00:19:59,647 --> 00:20:00,945
And another thing!
622
00:20:00,980 --> 00:20:03,014
When you say I have
an "interesting nose,"
623
00:20:03,049 --> 00:20:04,867
I know you mean big!
624
00:20:05,210 --> 00:20:06,427
I got lost in it.
625
00:20:06,886 --> 00:20:08,853
There were, like, 35 "another things."
626
00:20:08,888 --> 00:20:10,622
- I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
627
00:20:10,657 --> 00:20:12,090
You were defending my honor.
628
00:20:12,125 --> 00:20:13,625
And I'm glad you said something.
629
00:20:13,660 --> 00:20:15,960
So should I go back
and apologize to your mom?
630
00:20:15,995 --> 00:20:17,229
Oh, hell no.
We're sneaking out the back.
631
00:20:17,264 --> 00:20:18,963
Oh, thank God. She is terrifying.
632
00:20:18,998 --> 00:20:20,831
See ya at Thanksgiving, Mrs. Santiago.
633
00:20:21,613 --> 00:20:25,613
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