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Confucius, Buddha, Jesus...
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they all brought light to darkness.
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But none of them had one
million subscribers, so...
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They... can...
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suck it!
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Your videos changed my life!
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Changed my life!
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You are my qu-qu-queen!
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_
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No, Italian girl.
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We are changing the world,
for we are the G-Hive.
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And today we are celebrating
our 1 millionth subscriber.
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Over 1 million people
are living their lives
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according to the Gina-mandments.
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They're like the Ten Commandments,
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only there's more and they're better.
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I would now like to express my gratitude
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the best way I know how... through song.
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♪ Gratitude ♪
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Grati-tat-tat-tat tatitude!
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Grati-tat-tat-tat-tatitude!
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Gratitude.
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Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
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Guys? Guess who I just
got off the phone with.
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My cousin Pam.
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What? No. Why would you think that?
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You always seemed kind of
jealous of my relationship
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with him, so I thought maybe
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you called him up to
settle your differences.
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I'm definitely not jealous of Pam.
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He owns a bird shop.
I barely remember him.
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You remember the bird shop.
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It wasn't Pam.
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No, I was actually talking to
none other than Gina Linetti.
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Really?
No one's heard from her in months.
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Well, she just invited us
to go check out her new place.
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I'm surprised you're
so excited to see her.
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I mean, she's been blowing
you off ever since she left.
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- What? In what way?
- She bailed
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- on your birthday drinks.
- It wasn't that fun.
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She was a no-show
at your Secret Santa party!
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Christmas is overrated.
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- She hasn't called you in months!
- I'm not that interesting.
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Look, what is going on with you?
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- Are you hangry?
- No. I just ate six hardboiled eggs.
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Well, maybe you should've
made it a cool "doz."
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Look, I know Gina hasn't
been around very much,
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but we're gonna spend
time with her today,
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and it's gonna be just like old times.
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Gina's gonna be a few minutes.
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Her photo shoot is running over.
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Yes, Moses! Lookin' good!
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Now work those Commandments!
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See, Sarge? Just like old times.
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Ah, Boyle, there you are.
I have a question for you.
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Daddy, wait up!
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Oh, your non-adult is
at our place of work
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Nikolaj had a half-day at school
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for Mariano Rivera's birthday.
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I'm watching him on my lunch break.
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Nikolaj, say "hi" to Captain Holt.
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Hi, Captain Holt! How's Mr. Kevin?
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Stressed. His annual budget review
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is today, and a recent change
in federal policy
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means his grant situation is... tenuous.
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- At best.
- Okay.
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Hey Nikolaj, Daddy
and Captain Holt need to talk.
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Why don't you go do some drawing?
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Oh, he loves doing art.
He made a portrait
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of our dog Biscuit that had
all of his surgical scars.
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Yes. Children are wonders.
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I'm conducting a statistical
analysis to get a more nuanced
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understanding of which areas
in our jurisdiction
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need greater police presence with a hope
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of developing a formula that...
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What on Walden Pond is this?
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Nikolaj, no, that's important!
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I'm so sorry, sir. I don't spank him,
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but I will reprimand him in my own way.
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Niko. I love you.
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- I'm so sorry, Daddy!
- No, no, no.
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He didn't ruin it, he solved it.
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The absolute value of psi.
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Nikolaj cracked the equation. Boyle...
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your boy is a genius!
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Jacob! Terrencio!
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Give Moses a hug!
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Uhh! It's so good to see you!
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Ugh, that shoot took forever.
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Did Janelle offer you a snack?
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She did. I had Linguini.
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So what's been going on with you?
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Well, that's actually why I called.
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It's not a big deal at all,
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but someone's threatening to murder me.
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- What?
- Damn, Gina!
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I mean, I'm not worried
about it in the slightest.
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Anyone who has an online presence
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gets meaningless threats.
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It actually is a sign that I made it.
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- Congrats?
- Thanks, thank you.
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The only thing is, I have my
first speaking engagement tomorrow
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and the organizer says
he's going to cancel it
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unless I have police protection, so...
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would you guys come tomorrow
and police protect me?
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- Yes, of course, yes.
- Oh, thanks so much.
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This is my agent. I'm so sorry.
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Duncan, this better be good news.
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Oh, it is... your video's
huge, from Spokane to Spain,
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you're global, Gines!
Now, let's. Talk. Strategy.
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This is gonna take a while.
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Do you guys want to get drinks
at Shaw's later and catch up?
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Oh, yeah. That sounds really fun.
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Great. I'll see you then!
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- Okay.
- So, Duncs,
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I have an idea for a second book.
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It's a memoir, and it's made of memes.
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So, it's called a meme-oir.
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Whoa, Rosa! What happened?
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I touched poison oak.
The doctor says I have to keep
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my hands bandaged for a week
so I don't scratch them.
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- How did it happen?
- I was on a nature hike
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and I went off-trail
to pick a pretty little flower.
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Awwww.
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Shut up. Now scram.
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I have a case report to type up.
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Uh, there's no way
you're using a keyboard
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with your hands like that.
Oh, I could help you!
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Not to brag, but at typing
camp, everyone called me
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"The Finger Queen."
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Oh, my God, that sounds really dirty.
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I swear that's what it meant.
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Yeah, it was typing camp.
Nobody thinks that.
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Anyway, I don't need your help.
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You're really gonna try to make it
through an entire day on your own?
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Well, well, well.
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Rosa Diaz is finally
gonna learn the lesson
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that no matter how strong
she is on her own,
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true strength comes from
accepting help from others
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00:05:04,314 --> 00:05:05,387
That's not what's happening.
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00:05:07,118 --> 00:05:08,109
Mm-hmm, yeah.
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00:05:08,145 --> 00:05:09,440
That's how normal people
take their coats off.
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I'm fine.
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- I can see that.
- This is going well.
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Clearly.
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00:05:22,663 --> 00:05:24,363
Why are you sliding into
my side of the booth?
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Because that side is the solo side.
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You always put the person
you want catch up with
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on the solo side, otherwise
one of us will spend
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the whole night straining
our necks looking sideways.
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I'm straining my neck
talking to you right now.
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Okay, so don't look at me, Terry.
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Just face forward. You see me every day.
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- Fine.
- Fine.
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I gotta say, I'm surprised Gina
invited us to drinks tonight.
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She obviously invited us over to her
place because she needed a favor.
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Why are you still so down on her?
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I've been through this before.
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In college, I had a football
buddy, Bryant Ungerbert...
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Oh, lemme guess.
You guys were best friends,
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then he got drafted into the NFL,
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- and now you never talk.
- No, he got drafted into
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the Canadian football league,
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became a long snapper for Ottawa,
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and even that level of
success ruined our friendship.
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He's still playing?
How is that possible?
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You're 35 to 60 years old.
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It's Canada. They don't tackle as hard.
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00:06:04,201 --> 00:06:06,802
Anyway, his career became
the only thing that mattered.
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He was off doing
photo shoots, commercials,
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speaking at long snapping conventions...
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- Is that a thing?
- In Canada,
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it's like the Oscars. Look, the point is
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he stopped making time for his friends.
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Fine, but that's not
what's happening here.
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Nothing has changed with Gina.
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- She's not an Ungerbert.
- Hi.
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So, Gina won't be able
to make it tonight.
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She doesn't have time.
But here are your credentials
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for tomorrow's event.
Have a great night.
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Oh, no.
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She is an Ungerbert.
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Hey, Gina's prepping inside.
You get some rest last night?
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Yeah, because I got home
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from our 9:30 drinks at 9:41.
I was in bed by 10:00.
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Then I looked at my phone
for another two hours,
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so actually I didn't sleep very well.
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But I did realize something.
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The only thing that
matters to Gina is work.
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You don't say?
Where have I heard that before?
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00:06:48,882 --> 00:06:51,229
I don't know, Terry. I don't have
time for your weird memory lapse.
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I said it last night.
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Well, I wish you would've said it to me.
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00:06:53,669 --> 00:06:55,646
Anyway, I decided I'm not
gonna let it go this time
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After we update her on the case,
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- I'm gonna say something to her.
- Good.
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00:06:58,420 --> 00:06:59,901
I wish I'd have said
something to Ungerbert.
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00:06:59,937 --> 00:07:01,603
Long snapper used to be
my favorite position.
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00:07:01,639 --> 00:07:02,639
- Really?
- Yeah.
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00:07:02,735 --> 00:07:04,020
Hmm. Well...
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00:07:04,456 --> 00:07:05,477
you a weirdo.
202
00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:09,260
Timothée Chalamet,
shimmy-yah, shimmy-yay.
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00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:12,163
Timothée Chalamet,
shimmy-yah, shimmy-yay.
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00:07:12,277 --> 00:07:13,543
- Gina.
- Oh, sorry.
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00:07:13,579 --> 00:07:15,012
- I'm doing my vocal warm-up.
- Great.
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00:07:15,048 --> 00:07:16,668
Well, cyber looked into the threats,
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00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,169
and they traced
a number of negative comments
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00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:21,005
back to another internet
celebrity, Marvin Lennox.
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00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,878
Marvin Lennox. Yeah,
I'm not worried about him.
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00:07:22,914 --> 00:07:25,882
- He's an inspirational baker.
- Inspirational baker?
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00:07:25,918 --> 00:07:27,020
What the hell is that?
212
00:07:27,779 --> 00:07:30,146
A man is like a quiche,
and a quiche is only
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00:07:30,182 --> 00:07:33,216
as strong as its crust.
What's your crust?
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00:07:33,252 --> 00:07:35,186
Oh, that's exactly what it sounds like.
215
00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:37,488
Yeah, he's not a threat.
He lives in Utah, and again,
216
00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:39,290
just to remind you...
inspirational baker.
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00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:41,292
Right. Well, even so,
we have metal detectors
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00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:43,194
at all of the entrances,
and we'll keep our eyes peeled
219
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:46,087
for anything suspicious.
Also, before we head in there,
220
00:07:46,123 --> 00:07:47,723
I wanted to talk to you about something.
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00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,626
- What's up?
- Well, it just kind of
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00:07:49,662 --> 00:07:51,796
bummed me out that last night
you blew us off.
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00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,252
For work. Again.
224
00:07:53,288 --> 00:07:56,006
What? Uh, no.
I did not miss drinks for work.
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00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,176
I had food poisoning.
Did Janelle not tell you?
226
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,011
- No.
- Wow, that's crazy.
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00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:02,297
'Cause I specifically told her
to tell you... you know what?
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00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:04,015
- I'm gonna fire her.
- You don't have to do that.
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00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,850
- Janelle.
- Oh, God, doing it now?
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00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:07,318
- Hi, Gina.
- Okay.
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00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:08,722
Well, Sarge and I
should probably hit it,
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00:08:08,758 --> 00:08:10,220
get back in there, survey some people.
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00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:11,338
But have a great show.
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00:08:11,374 --> 00:08:12,918
Janelle, just remember
you're gonna have a lot of jobs
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00:08:12,954 --> 00:08:14,269
in your life... this is but
a blip on your résumé.
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00:08:14,305 --> 00:08:15,405
Okay Sarge, let's go.
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00:08:16,391 --> 00:08:17,419
Wanted to see me, sir?
238
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:19,329
Yes, I wanted to talk
to you about Nikolaj.
239
00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:21,587
How long have you known he was a genius?
240
00:08:21,623 --> 00:08:23,056
I mean, I always knew he was bright.
241
00:08:23,092 --> 00:08:24,892
I just never realized he was that smart
242
00:08:24,928 --> 00:08:26,761
Well, there's no sugarcoating it.
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00:08:26,797 --> 00:08:28,397
- You're a terrible father.
- What?!
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00:08:28,433 --> 00:08:30,067
You've been asleep at the wheel, man!
245
00:08:30,103 --> 00:08:32,604
What have you done to cultivate
his incredible mind?
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00:08:32,739 --> 00:08:35,186
- I read to him every night.
- Shakespeare? Tolstoy?
247
00:08:35,222 --> 00:08:37,910
- No, nothing that advanced.
- Egads, are you reading him Dickens?
248
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:39,733
- Yes?
- Boyle!
249
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,219
My father never saw my potential.
250
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,422
In grade school, I wanted
to spend all my free time
251
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:48,226
drawing graphs and charts, but
he insisted I play basketball.
252
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,895
As if I care about
slam dunking a three-pointer.
253
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:52,430
Don't be my father, Boyle!
254
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:54,221
I wouldn't dare!
What do you think I should do?
255
00:08:55,150 --> 00:08:58,184
Let me tutor Nikolaj.
Nothing too strenuous.
256
00:08:58,220 --> 00:09:00,871
Maybe some geometry,
statistical mechanics,
257
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:03,832
perhaps some Latin lyric
poetry thrown in for fun.
258
00:09:03,868 --> 00:09:05,301
Oh, I don't know. He's really booked.
259
00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:07,282
I guess I could cancel
his cartooning class,
260
00:09:07,318 --> 00:09:09,352
- but he really loves it.
- Don't do that.
261
00:09:09,388 --> 00:09:11,222
I hate to think of
all the great cartoons
262
00:09:11,258 --> 00:09:13,525
humanity missed out on because Einstein
263
00:09:13,561 --> 00:09:16,095
was just too busy reinventing physics.
264
00:09:16,131 --> 00:09:17,364
Okay, I'll cancel the class.
265
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,706
I mean, who needs relativity when
we could've had Einstein's take
266
00:09:20,742 --> 00:09:22,160
on lasagna-eating cats.
267
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,095
- I said I'd cancel.
- Did he hate Mondays?
268
00:09:24,512 --> 00:09:25,962
We'll never know.
269
00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:27,193
Okay, I'm going, I'm going!
270
00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:33,404
Ugh, why won't this
dumb monitor turn on?
271
00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:35,173
Because you can't work
without your hands.
272
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,951
Trust us. If you could do this job
273
00:09:36,987 --> 00:09:39,276
without lifting a finger,
we would've already cracked it.
274
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,285
Because we're lazy boys.
275
00:09:40,808 --> 00:09:42,108
I'm just not doing it hard enough.
276
00:09:42,186 --> 00:09:43,886
- Mmm!
- Ooh!
277
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:45,349
That's a double-sponger.
278
00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:46,379
All right.
279
00:09:46,488 --> 00:09:49,520
I am cleaning this up,
and no one is helping me.
280
00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:50,622
Not a problem.
281
00:09:50,708 --> 00:09:51,730
Because we're lazy boys.
282
00:09:58,564 --> 00:10:00,254
You gotta be kidding me!
283
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,867
_
284
00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:05,357
In the beginning, there was nothing.
285
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:08,927
And then God, a woman, said,
286
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,209
"Let there be Gina!"
287
00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:17,926
Gina! Please look at me!
288
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,452
You're welcome.
289
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:23,221
Aaaaah!
290
00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,389
It's gonna be hard to spot
a crazy person in here.
291
00:10:25,424 --> 00:10:27,325
- They're all crazy.
- Tell me about it.
292
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,598
This is more insane than the crowd
293
00:10:28,634 --> 00:10:30,627
at the Carly Rae Jepsen
I mean Slayer concert.
294
00:10:30,663 --> 00:10:31,899
G-Hive!
295
00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:34,769
Are you ready for
three new Gina-mandments?
296
00:10:35,067 --> 00:10:37,134
Number one.
297
00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:40,004
You can be anything
you set your mind to...
298
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:42,655
as long as you're already great at it!
299
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:44,342
Number two.
300
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:46,978
No one knows you can't take it with you!
301
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:49,580
Be buried with your money.
302
00:10:49,615 --> 00:10:51,349
Cha-ching!
303
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:53,518
Number three.
304
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:56,156
If you fall down nine times...
305
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:58,089
you gotta reassess your walking,
306
00:10:58,124 --> 00:10:59,370
'cause something's wrong.
307
00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:03,995
And now, I wanna hear
from you, my baby G-Hive!
308
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:06,030
Yes, girl in the mustard sweater.
309
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:07,568
Hi, Gina. I just quit my job
310
00:11:07,604 --> 00:11:10,200
and left my husband who loves
parkour more than he loves me.
311
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:12,081
And it's all because
of your Gina-mendment:
312
00:11:12,117 --> 00:11:15,152
"If the light in your house
is dim, change the bulb."
313
00:11:15,188 --> 00:11:16,888
Yes!
314
00:11:16,924 --> 00:11:19,491
I have time for 15 more compliments.
315
00:11:19,527 --> 00:11:21,110
Hey, Jake. I think Lennox is here.
316
00:11:21,146 --> 00:11:22,212
I see him. You get him.
317
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:23,523
I'll stick with Gina.
318
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:25,216
Uh-oh. He's moving.
319
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:27,373
Coming through.
320
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,908
There's too many hoodies. I lost him.
321
00:11:29,944 --> 00:11:32,515
- Get Gina out of here, now!
- And now the time has come
322
00:11:32,551 --> 00:11:34,091
for y’all to meditate.
323
00:11:34,126 --> 00:11:36,561
Close your eyes while I sing to you.
324
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:39,051
♪ Breathe in, breathe out ♪
325
00:11:39,111 --> 00:11:41,699
♪ I invented meditation ♪
326
00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:43,301
- R...
- Gina, we gotta go.
327
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:45,429
- Lennox is here.
- Told you I'm not worried about Lennox.
328
00:11:45,465 --> 00:11:46,570
Well, it's not your call.
329
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:48,122
- We're leaving.
- Jake, you're overreacting.
330
00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:54,446
On second thought, maybe we
should get out of here.
331
00:11:57,154 --> 00:11:59,607
- Okay. Kitchen's all clear.
- Bedroom's clear.
332
00:11:59,643 --> 00:12:01,187
Can't believe I just escaped death!
333
00:12:01,223 --> 00:12:02,356
I haven't felt this alive since
334
00:12:02,391 --> 00:12:04,224
I almost got killed by that bus.
335
00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:05,604
I know, right? What a rush.
336
00:12:05,895 --> 00:12:07,761
Feel just like Kevin Costner
in "The Bodyguard"!
337
00:12:07,796 --> 00:12:09,763
What? If anyone's
like Kevin Costner it's me.
338
00:12:09,798 --> 00:12:11,265
I'm the one carrying Gina!
339
00:12:11,301 --> 00:12:13,950
Well, I think we can agree
we were both Kevin Costner.
340
00:12:14,143 --> 00:12:15,903
- No!
- Jake, that was so dope
341
00:12:15,938 --> 00:12:17,605
when you were like, "Clear a path!"
342
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,089
Guys, uniformed officers
343
00:12:19,125 --> 00:12:21,574
found Marvin hiding in
a bathroom at the event space.
344
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,000
He's in custody. We got him!
345
00:12:23,036 --> 00:12:24,912
That's great!
I hope they give him the chair.
346
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,696
Ooh, we should celebrate.
Champagne's in the fridge.
347
00:12:27,732 --> 00:12:28,698
On it.
348
00:12:31,221 --> 00:12:33,622
Duncan, I almost died. It was amazing.
349
00:12:33,658 --> 00:12:36,244
I heard all about it, Gines.
Look, you're trending!
350
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,306
And from my pain comes triumph!
351
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:40,309
Love that. And we can use this publicity
352
00:12:40,345 --> 00:12:42,328
to get more money out of
those bottled water guys.
353
00:12:42,364 --> 00:12:44,031
You really impressed them
at drinks last night!
354
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:46,367
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah... we
should talk about this later.
355
00:12:46,403 --> 00:12:48,604
Sorry, you're breaking up.
Look, I said they loved you
356
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,163
at the drinks last night...
the drinks last night
357
00:12:50,199 --> 00:12:52,156
that you had with the water people?
358
00:12:52,192 --> 00:12:54,641
Crap, I just hit
the Holland Tunnel, but again,
359
00:12:54,677 --> 00:12:56,677
great job with the drinks last night!
360
00:12:56,712 --> 00:12:57,994
Bye.
361
00:12:59,181 --> 00:13:00,289
Jake, did you hear that?
362
00:13:00,325 --> 00:13:02,359
I did, and there's
been a change of plans.
363
00:13:02,395 --> 00:13:04,629
I'm gonna take a rain
check on the champagne,
364
00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:06,379
but it was wonderful seeing you.
365
00:13:06,415 --> 00:13:08,149
Why are you talking
like a flight attendant?
366
00:13:08,185 --> 00:13:10,757
This is how I always talk
when everything is okay.
367
00:13:10,793 --> 00:13:12,459
Which it is right now.
368
00:13:12,494 --> 00:13:14,216
Please enjoy the rest of your day.
369
00:13:15,832 --> 00:13:17,866
How did Nikolaj do?
Were you able to overcome
370
00:13:17,902 --> 00:13:19,799
- my horrible parenting?
- No, it's far worse
371
00:13:19,835 --> 00:13:21,502
than I could've ever imagined.
372
00:13:21,537 --> 00:13:23,203
I showed him a periodic
table, and he thought
373
00:13:23,238 --> 00:13:25,004
it was a coloring book illustration.
374
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:26,154
I blame myself.
375
00:13:26,190 --> 00:13:28,788
It's such a classic Boyle trait
not to recognize talent.
376
00:13:28,824 --> 00:13:31,878
My cousin Susan didn't know she
could sing until her late 40s.
377
00:13:31,914 --> 00:13:33,935
Honestly, given the hole
that you've put him in,
378
00:13:33,971 --> 00:13:36,138
he needs more expert
help than I can provide.
379
00:13:36,174 --> 00:13:37,841
But, there is...
380
00:13:37,877 --> 00:13:40,011
a boarding school
in Switzerland that would be
381
00:13:40,047 --> 00:13:42,174
a perfect fit for him.
He can enroll immediately.
382
00:13:42,210 --> 00:13:43,877
In Switzerland? I'd never see him.
383
00:13:43,913 --> 00:13:45,779
Then uproot your life
and move there with him.
384
00:13:45,815 --> 00:13:47,015
No one here would miss you.
385
00:13:47,051 --> 00:13:48,351
Hmm. We could live in Gruyere,
386
00:13:48,387 --> 00:13:49,887
the fondue capital of the world.
387
00:13:49,923 --> 00:13:51,998
Oh, I don't know.
It's such a big change.
388
00:13:52,034 --> 00:13:53,024
Well, he's the genius.
389
00:13:53,060 --> 00:13:54,407
Why don't we ask him
what he wants to do?
390
00:13:54,443 --> 00:13:55,322
Good point.
391
00:13:55,959 --> 00:13:57,349
Niko? We need to talk.
392
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,207
Wait. Why is he writing the solution
393
00:14:00,242 --> 00:14:01,842
to my formula for no reason?
394
00:14:01,877 --> 00:14:04,480
And why is he drawing
colorful underpants beneath it?
395
00:14:04,516 --> 00:14:07,617
Oh, I see what's happening.
He's drawing Boy Riga,
396
00:14:07,653 --> 00:14:10,196
loyal sidekick to his favorite
cool superhero, Captain Latvia.
397
00:14:10,232 --> 00:14:12,633
That's his symbol.
He distributes grain evenly
398
00:14:12,669 --> 00:14:13,835
among the working class.
399
00:14:14,330 --> 00:14:15,931
Uh-huh. I see.
400
00:14:16,318 --> 00:14:18,953
So this was all just some coincidence.
401
00:14:18,989 --> 00:14:21,189
He wasn't writing absolute value of psi.
402
00:14:21,225 --> 00:14:22,300
He was just...
403
00:14:23,432 --> 00:14:24,497
doodling.
404
00:14:29,152 --> 00:14:30,152
Aaaah!
405
00:14:32,451 --> 00:14:34,537
Raaah! Uhhh! Ahhh!
406
00:14:36,262 --> 00:14:38,229
Rosa? Are you stuck in there?
407
00:14:38,647 --> 00:14:39,874
No, I'm in here by choice.
408
00:14:39,910 --> 00:14:42,411
Oh, 'cause I hear some banging noises
409
00:14:42,447 --> 00:14:45,348
as if someone was struggling
to open the door.
410
00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:46,550
No. That was the pipes.
411
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:48,520
Or, is it the sound of you
412
00:14:48,556 --> 00:14:50,189
learning how to ask for help?
413
00:14:50,225 --> 00:14:51,492
You know, you can't spell
414
00:14:51,528 --> 00:14:54,029
"independent" without "dependent."
415
00:14:54,065 --> 00:14:56,663
And you can't spell "Go [bleep]
yourself" without "[bleep] you.
416
00:14:58,401 --> 00:14:59,963
Jake, I had a work thing.
417
00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:01,721
I can't believe you're being
such a baby about this.
418
00:15:01,757 --> 00:15:03,390
I'm not being a baby.
419
00:15:03,426 --> 00:15:04,860
Look, I'm sorry I lied, okay?
420
00:15:04,896 --> 00:15:06,395
It was a big opportunity for me.
421
00:15:06,431 --> 00:15:08,232
I was having drinks
with the brand director
422
00:15:08,268 --> 00:15:09,924
of a bottled water company.
423
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:13,380
I can't say which one, but it
rhymes with, "fart water."
424
00:15:13,416 --> 00:15:15,316
Perhaps one day I will laugh at that.
425
00:15:15,352 --> 00:15:18,084
In the meantime, I'm happy
for all your success.
426
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:21,088
I hope your partnership with
"fart water" is very fruitful.
427
00:15:21,123 --> 00:15:22,439
- Good day.
- Come on, dude.
428
00:15:22,475 --> 00:15:24,057
- Just talk to me.
- I would if we were friends,
429
00:15:24,093 --> 00:15:25,316
but you're making it it very clear
430
00:15:25,352 --> 00:15:26,752
that we are not, so I shan't.
431
00:15:26,788 --> 00:15:28,688
- Oh, you're shanting me?
- Yeah, that's right.
432
00:15:28,964 --> 00:15:30,297
- Jake!
- Can't hear you.
433
00:15:30,332 --> 00:15:31,493
- You're shanted!
- Jake!
434
00:15:31,529 --> 00:15:33,433
I told you I only talk to my friends.
435
00:15:33,469 --> 00:15:34,560
No, Jake.
436
00:15:34,596 --> 00:15:36,730
I think I just got stabbed by that guy.
437
00:15:36,766 --> 00:15:38,900
Oh, yeah, ya did.
438
00:15:38,936 --> 00:15:40,403
Ya definitely did.
439
00:15:41,739 --> 00:15:44,583
Okay. The ambulance is on its way.
They said not to remove the knife.
440
00:15:44,619 --> 00:15:45,332
Great.
441
00:15:45,368 --> 00:15:46,642
What's up? I got your text...
442
00:15:46,677 --> 00:15:49,080
Oh, my God, Gina,
there's a knife in you!
443
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,294
Jake, did you stab Gina?
444
00:15:50,330 --> 00:15:53,121
I didn't stab Gina, okay?
Lennox wasn't our guy.
445
00:15:53,157 --> 00:15:55,171
The real perp did it.
He's in a black hoodie and jeans.
446
00:15:55,207 --> 00:15:55,983
He ran that way.
447
00:15:56,019 --> 00:15:57,685
- I'm on it.
- I want you to stay calm
448
00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,320
and just try to keep all of your blood
449
00:15:59,355 --> 00:16:01,603
- inside your body.
- Bitch, what do you think I'm doing?
450
00:16:01,639 --> 00:16:02,808
Yeah, I don't know why I said that.
451
00:16:02,844 --> 00:16:05,476
Bring your ass down here so
we can finish our conversation.
452
00:16:05,512 --> 00:16:07,195
We can do that later, Gina.
453
00:16:07,231 --> 00:16:09,631
First of all, I have
so much adrenaline pumping
454
00:16:09,666 --> 00:16:11,532
through my body right now
I can feel almost nothing.
455
00:16:11,567 --> 00:16:13,267
Secondly, you can't say no to me.
456
00:16:13,302 --> 00:16:14,702
- I have a knife in my back.
- Yeah, that tracks.
457
00:16:14,737 --> 00:16:16,498
Okay, fine. So I was saying that
458
00:16:16,534 --> 00:16:19,434
ever since you left you've
been kind of a crappy friend.
459
00:16:19,470 --> 00:16:21,704
Brrrrrawwwwwwoo.
460
00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:23,674
We're definitely not having
this conversation right now.
461
00:16:23,710 --> 00:16:25,677
No, it's okay. It just hurt for a sec.
462
00:16:25,745 --> 00:16:27,845
Come on, let's do it. Ugh.
463
00:16:27,881 --> 00:16:29,581
All right, fine, what was I saying?
464
00:16:29,617 --> 00:16:32,819
You were saying that I'm a...
Ahh, bad friend.
465
00:16:34,007 --> 00:16:35,857
Right. You're a bad friend.
466
00:16:35,892 --> 00:16:37,358
That's what I was saying to you.
467
00:16:37,393 --> 00:16:39,694
- Yeah.
- And just that, you know,
468
00:16:39,729 --> 00:16:41,529
you've been really blowing me
off for the last few months,
469
00:16:41,564 --> 00:16:43,406
and last night you
lied to me about being sick.
470
00:16:43,442 --> 00:16:45,242
- That really sucked.
- All right, well, listen.
471
00:16:45,278 --> 00:16:47,045
I'm sorry I lied, Jake.
472
00:16:47,081 --> 00:16:49,615
I saw you were getting upset
and I didn't want to hurt you.
473
00:16:49,651 --> 00:16:52,018
But I don't know what to say
about the other stuff because
474
00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:55,256
this is my life and I don't
want to apologize for that.
475
00:16:55,292 --> 00:16:57,092
No, and Gina, you shouldn't have to.
476
00:16:57,128 --> 00:16:59,429
Look, I'm really proud of you.
You're totally killing it.
477
00:16:59,465 --> 00:17:00,965
Yeah, people want to stab me.
478
00:17:01,043 --> 00:17:02,443
I mean, that's a very positive way of
479
00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:04,245
- looking at things, but yeah.
- Thank you.
480
00:17:04,281 --> 00:17:07,082
Ha ha ha ha-ha! Hoo hoo!
481
00:17:07,118 --> 00:17:08,922
♪ I hit a new level of pain ♪
482
00:17:08,958 --> 00:17:11,226
♪ Please keep talkin',
please keep talkin'! ♪
483
00:17:11,262 --> 00:17:12,659
Okay, look. I just wanted you
484
00:17:12,695 --> 00:17:13,761
to know that I miss you.
485
00:17:13,796 --> 00:17:15,230
Well, I miss you too dude.
486
00:17:15,266 --> 00:17:18,202
Great, so can we agree to
see each other like 5% more?
487
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,638
Deal. Aah!
488
00:17:21,110 --> 00:17:22,643
We're not going to shake it.
489
00:17:22,679 --> 00:17:24,079
Yeah, we'll just take
each other at our word.
490
00:17:24,115 --> 00:17:26,749
Oooh! That's a knife!
491
00:17:26,827 --> 00:17:29,929
That is a knife in my back.
That's so weird to say.
492
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:32,040
There's a knife in my back.
493
00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:34,702
Boyle, may I speak
with you for a minute?
494
00:17:34,738 --> 00:17:35,838
Sure, I was just googling
495
00:17:35,874 --> 00:17:37,543
"good toys for normal children."
496
00:17:37,579 --> 00:17:40,387
Nikolaj may not be a genius,
but he's a very bright child.
497
00:17:40,423 --> 00:17:41,923
And on top of that, you were right.
498
00:17:41,958 --> 00:17:43,726
He's also a very gifted artist.
499
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,601
Look what he did to my periodic table.
500
00:17:45,962 --> 00:17:48,353
Sure, it's a bit
derivative of Kandinsky,
501
00:17:48,389 --> 00:17:49,855
but the palette shows
an impressive comprehension
502
00:17:49,891 --> 00:17:51,091
of color theory.
503
00:17:51,127 --> 00:17:52,484
And he's good at clouds, too.
504
00:17:53,455 --> 00:17:54,455
Okay.
505
00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:57,104
I also wanted to say
I was wrong to imply
506
00:17:57,140 --> 00:17:58,773
that you didn't know
what was best for him.
507
00:17:58,809 --> 00:17:59,648
Oh.
508
00:17:59,684 --> 00:18:01,401
You're an exceptionally
supportive parent,
509
00:18:01,437 --> 00:18:03,357
and I wish my father
had been more like you.
510
00:18:05,454 --> 00:18:06,738
Thank you for saying that.
511
00:18:07,235 --> 00:18:08,309
And sir,
512
00:18:08,345 --> 00:18:11,668
nothing would make me prouder
than being your big daddy.
513
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,758
Well, we're off track now.
514
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,461
So, uh, good day.
515
00:18:16,497 --> 00:18:17,630
Hey, guys.
516
00:18:18,148 --> 00:18:19,560
How you feeling, Gina?
517
00:18:19,595 --> 00:18:20,828
Sometimes I feel like a nut,
518
00:18:20,863 --> 00:18:22,330
sometimes I don't.
519
00:18:22,365 --> 00:18:24,565
Almond Joy's got nuts.
520
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:25,967
Mounds don't.
521
00:18:26,002 --> 00:18:27,468
She's very hopped up on painkillers.
522
00:18:27,503 --> 00:18:29,403
Hold up, when did you learn French,
523
00:18:29,438 --> 00:18:30,671
Monsieur la baguette?
524
00:18:30,706 --> 00:18:32,073
Oh, as a bébé.
525
00:18:32,108 --> 00:18:34,942
Oh, oui! Oui, oui, oui, oui.
526
00:18:34,977 --> 00:18:37,078
It actually helps to
play along, I'm assuming.
527
00:18:37,113 --> 00:18:38,646
So what's the latest?
Did you catch the perp?
528
00:18:38,681 --> 00:18:40,147
No. I almost had him.
529
00:18:40,183 --> 00:18:43,190
But then he jumped up, grabbed
a flagpole, spun around it
530
00:18:43,226 --> 00:18:45,427
like Spider-Man, and then
flipped out of sight on a roof.
531
00:18:45,463 --> 00:18:47,605
It was crazy. Officers
are still patrolling the area.
532
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:48,740
Oh, my God, that's it.
533
00:18:48,775 --> 00:18:50,174
That is it! The treasure is
534
00:18:50,209 --> 00:18:52,110
in the Forest of Enchanted Secrets!
535
00:18:52,145 --> 00:18:53,878
- Let's go!
- No, we can't.
536
00:18:53,913 --> 00:18:56,381
We have to stay here and
guard the Amulet of Destiny.
537
00:18:56,416 --> 00:18:57,961
True dat, true dat.
538
00:18:58,217 --> 00:19:00,285
Sarge, call me crazy,
but it almost sounds like
539
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:01,853
whoever stabbed Gina knew parkour...
540
00:19:01,888 --> 00:19:04,889
just like the ex-husband of
that lady from Gina's event.
541
00:19:04,924 --> 00:19:06,758
Right! Gina convinced her to leave him
542
00:19:06,793 --> 00:19:08,259
and he probably wants revenge.
543
00:19:08,294 --> 00:19:09,733
- I'll look into it.
- Okay.
544
00:19:10,263 --> 00:19:12,530
Jake, I cannot wait for this doctor.
545
00:19:12,565 --> 00:19:14,399
Will you please grab
this knife out of my back?
546
00:19:14,434 --> 00:19:16,367
- Get it!
- Gina, it's already out.
547
00:19:16,402 --> 00:19:17,569
What?
548
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:28,613
- Hello?
- You win.
549
00:19:28,648 --> 00:19:30,281
- Please help me.
- No.
550
00:19:30,316 --> 00:19:31,616
What, why? I learned my lesson.
551
00:19:31,651 --> 00:19:33,251
- You were right.
- No, you were right.
552
00:19:33,286 --> 00:19:35,620
For the past four hours,
I've been watching you
553
00:19:35,655 --> 00:19:37,097
on the security camera.
554
00:19:37,856 --> 00:19:39,156
You have? That's weird.
555
00:19:39,192 --> 00:19:40,925
- This isn't about me.
- Still seems weird.
556
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,961
Rosa! Watching you try to open
557
00:19:42,996 --> 00:19:44,963
that door and fail again
558
00:19:44,998 --> 00:19:47,665
and again and again and again
559
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:48,967
was inspiring!
560
00:19:49,002 --> 00:19:50,635
I was trying to teach you a lesson,
561
00:19:50,670 --> 00:19:53,438
and instead, you taught me a lesson.
562
00:19:53,473 --> 00:19:54,906
Great. What lesson is that?
563
00:19:54,941 --> 00:19:57,942
There is nothing the human
spirit cannot overcome.
564
00:19:57,977 --> 00:20:00,945
So Rosa Diaz, you are not quitting.
565
00:20:00,980 --> 00:20:03,171
You are gonna open that door because
566
00:20:03,207 --> 00:20:06,317
you are badass and you don't
need help from anyone!
567
00:20:06,650 --> 00:20:08,820
Yeah. I'm Rosa Diaz.
568
00:20:11,391 --> 00:20:13,161
You can do this, Rosa!
569
00:20:15,995 --> 00:20:18,196
Uhhhhh!
570
00:20:18,231 --> 00:20:19,812
She's doing it!
571
00:20:21,868 --> 00:20:24,502
Uhhhhhh!
572
00:20:24,537 --> 00:20:26,304
Yes!
573
00:20:26,339 --> 00:20:28,272
Uhhhhh!
574
00:20:31,911 --> 00:20:33,711
- You did it!
- I did it!
575
00:20:33,746 --> 00:20:36,194
Oh, that was great!
I love being independent
576
00:20:37,197 --> 00:20:39,668
- I have to go to the bathroom.
- Oh, okay, I'll help you.
577
00:20:39,852 --> 00:20:41,719
And then you were like,
"We can use the Amulet
578
00:20:41,754 --> 00:20:43,521
to fight the Queen of Tears!"
579
00:20:43,556 --> 00:20:45,823
I said all of that when I was
on drugs? That's brilliant.
580
00:20:45,858 --> 00:20:48,359
Yeah, we basically came up
with an entire amazing story.
581
00:20:48,394 --> 00:20:49,627
- We should write a movie!
- Yes!
582
00:20:49,662 --> 00:20:51,529
Jake and Gina present, colon,
583
00:20:51,564 --> 00:20:52,864
"The Queen of Tears," colon,
584
00:20:52,899 --> 00:20:54,399
"Battle for the Amulet of Destiny."
585
00:20:54,434 --> 00:20:56,701
Colon, Part One, colon, of Five.
586
00:20:56,736 --> 00:20:58,636
Oh, get those sequel profits... smart.
587
00:20:58,671 --> 00:21:00,405
- Yerp.
- Oh, here comes Terry.
588
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,540
- Hey, sorry I'm late.
- Oh, you should be, Terrance.
589
00:21:02,575 --> 00:21:04,709
You almost missed
the surprise we got for you.
590
00:21:04,744 --> 00:21:05,977
- Huh, what is it?
- I think you mean,
591
00:21:06,012 --> 00:21:07,879
"Who is it?"
592
00:21:09,749 --> 00:21:11,349
Bryant Ungerbert?
593
00:21:11,384 --> 00:21:12,717
Hello, Terry Jeffords.
594
00:21:12,752 --> 00:21:14,919
It's been far too long, old friend.
595
00:21:16,723 --> 00:21:18,723
We did the right thing.
596
00:21:18,758 --> 00:21:20,658
- Yes we did, Gina.
- Who's Gina?
597
00:21:20,954 --> 00:21:21,859
Are you still on drugs?
598
00:21:21,894 --> 00:21:24,362
- Yeeeah.
- Oh, tight.
599
00:21:25,590 --> 00:21:29,590
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