1 00:00:32,114 --> 00:00:33,782 (COOING) 2 00:00:33,865 --> 00:00:36,868 (SNORING) 3 00:00:37,077 --> 00:00:38,745 (ALARM CLOCK RINGING) 4 00:00:39,538 --> 00:00:41,123 Hey! 5 00:00:41,957 --> 00:00:43,417 (ALARM STOPS) 6 00:00:44,167 --> 00:00:46,837 Fry, mon, if you're going to be living in the office, 7 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:48,964 you could at least be on time for work. 8 00:00:49,047 --> 00:00:50,465 I'm sorry. 9 00:00:50,549 --> 00:00:52,843 I was up really late poking through people's desks. 10 00:00:55,929 --> 00:00:56,930 All right, people, 11 00:00:57,014 --> 00:01:00,392 I will now outline today's 12-point agenda. 12 00:01:00,684 --> 00:01:03,228 We'll begin with point one... 13 00:01:03,312 --> 00:01:04,521 (CLATTERING) 14 00:01:09,651 --> 00:01:11,695 ...Concerning our pest problem. 15 00:01:11,778 --> 00:01:14,197 Somebody's been leaving food around 16 00:01:14,281 --> 00:01:15,824 and it's attracting owls. 17 00:01:15,908 --> 00:01:20,120 And I, for one, am getting tired of cleaning those owl traps. 18 00:01:20,203 --> 00:01:22,456 - (METAL SNAPPING) - (HIGH-PITCHED HOOT) 19 00:01:22,539 --> 00:01:23,624 Now... 20 00:01:23,707 --> 00:01:25,918 As this shocking graph indicates, 21 00:01:26,001 --> 00:01:29,713 our water consumption has tripled in the last month. 22 00:01:29,796 --> 00:01:32,507 Now, I notice Fry has been here for a month 23 00:01:32,591 --> 00:01:34,259 so I'm appointing him head of a committee 24 00:01:34,343 --> 00:01:35,886 to find who's responsible. 25 00:01:36,136 --> 00:01:37,429 Fry? 26 00:01:37,512 --> 00:01:38,722 (HUMMING LOUDLY) 27 00:01:38,805 --> 00:01:41,433 (GARGLING A TUNE) 28 00:01:41,934 --> 00:01:43,227 Am I cracking up 29 00:01:43,310 --> 00:01:44,311 or is Fry's living here 30 00:01:44,394 --> 00:01:46,104 starting to get in the way of bus... 31 00:01:46,188 --> 00:01:47,272 (AIR RUSHING) 32 00:01:50,984 --> 00:01:52,027 (AIR STOPS RUSHING) 33 00:01:52,527 --> 00:01:54,196 What the hell are you doing? 34 00:01:54,279 --> 00:01:56,323 You're getting a huge dose of radiation. 35 00:01:56,406 --> 00:01:58,158 And great lift. 36 00:01:58,242 --> 00:02:00,410 Do you know how long it's going to take me 37 00:02:00,494 --> 00:02:02,329 to recalibrate these engines? 38 00:02:02,621 --> 00:02:04,081 Hey, when you look this good, 39 00:02:04,164 --> 00:02:05,958 you don't have to know anything. 40 00:02:07,042 --> 00:02:09,086 Professor, we need to talk to you about Fry. 41 00:02:09,169 --> 00:02:10,963 That's right! We want some money! 42 00:02:11,046 --> 00:02:12,714 Wait, what's this about Fry? 43 00:02:13,006 --> 00:02:14,216 He's a nice guy 44 00:02:14,299 --> 00:02:16,510 but we think it's about time he got his own place. 45 00:02:16,593 --> 00:02:17,678 Oh, fuff. 46 00:02:17,844 --> 00:02:19,763 He's not causing any trouble. 47 00:02:19,846 --> 00:02:22,474 Now, if you don't mind, I'm rather busy. 48 00:02:22,558 --> 00:02:24,768 I seem to have mislaid my alien mummy. 49 00:02:25,269 --> 00:02:28,188 This sarcophagus should contain the remains 50 00:02:28,272 --> 00:02:30,148 of Emperor Nimbala, who ruled 51 00:02:30,232 --> 00:02:33,068 Zuben Five over 29 million years ago. 52 00:02:33,151 --> 00:02:34,444 FRY: Hey, professor. 53 00:02:34,528 --> 00:02:36,905 Mmm. Great jerky. 54 00:02:36,989 --> 00:02:38,073 Mmm. 55 00:02:38,657 --> 00:02:40,784 My God, this is an outrage. 56 00:02:40,867 --> 00:02:43,453 I was going to eat that mummy. 57 00:02:43,537 --> 00:02:45,747 Fry has got to go. 58 00:02:45,831 --> 00:02:48,667 (BEEPING) 59 00:02:48,876 --> 00:02:50,961 WOMAN: (ON TV) Bachelor chow,now with flavor. 60 00:02:51,044 --> 00:02:53,046 ANNOUNCER: ...And bigfoot is down! 61 00:02:53,130 --> 00:02:55,090 Sheesh. 40,000 channels 62 00:02:55,173 --> 00:02:58,427 and only 150 of them have anything good on. 63 00:02:58,510 --> 00:03:01,054 ANNOUNCER: All My Circuits is brought to you by... 64 00:03:01,138 --> 00:03:02,723 Robo Fresh. 65 00:03:02,806 --> 00:03:05,267 Designed by a robot for a robot. 66 00:03:08,103 --> 00:03:11,523 I've been processing this for some time, Monique, 67 00:03:11,607 --> 00:03:13,775 and, well... Will you marry me? 68 00:03:13,859 --> 00:03:14,943 Oh, Calculon! 69 00:03:15,027 --> 00:03:16,153 (CLINKING) 70 00:03:19,156 --> 00:03:20,198 (GASPS) 71 00:03:20,282 --> 00:03:23,785 (ELECTRONIC WHIRRING) 72 00:03:23,869 --> 00:03:25,162 It fits! 73 00:03:25,245 --> 00:03:26,705 Then you must know that I'm... 74 00:03:26,788 --> 00:03:28,540 Metric? I've always known. 75 00:03:28,624 --> 00:03:32,002 But for you, my darling, I'm willing to convert. 76 00:03:32,085 --> 00:03:33,212 (CLINKING) 77 00:03:37,257 --> 00:03:38,884 Hmm, must be a friend of theirs. 78 00:03:38,967 --> 00:03:41,595 Fry, we've got to discuss your living arrangements. 79 00:03:41,678 --> 00:03:43,263 We've all talked it over, and... 80 00:03:43,347 --> 00:03:44,556 Hey, All My Circuits. 81 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:45,974 Move over. 82 00:03:48,894 --> 00:03:50,020 Ah! 83 00:03:50,103 --> 00:03:52,147 Fry, sometimes in close quarters 84 00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:55,275 people do inconsiderate things without realizing it. 85 00:03:55,359 --> 00:03:56,818 I know, but I forgive you. 86 00:03:56,944 --> 00:03:58,737 No, Fry, by "close quarters" 87 00:03:58,820 --> 00:03:59,863 I mean this office. 88 00:04:00,155 --> 00:04:01,281 Uh-huh. 89 00:04:01,365 --> 00:04:03,575 - And by "people," I mean you. - Right. 90 00:04:03,659 --> 00:04:05,452 And by "inconsiderate," I mean... 91 00:04:05,535 --> 00:04:07,412 Leela, we're trying to watch TV. 92 00:04:07,496 --> 00:04:10,123 Yeah. Would you kindly shut your noise hole? 93 00:04:10,207 --> 00:04:11,917 (FRUSTRATED SIGH) 94 00:04:12,709 --> 00:04:14,378 So who's that weird-looking guy? 95 00:04:14,461 --> 00:04:15,837 BENDER: That's a human. 96 00:04:15,921 --> 00:04:17,881 - What's he do? - BENDER: Usual human stuff. 97 00:04:17,965 --> 00:04:21,009 He laughs, he learns, he loves. 98 00:04:21,093 --> 00:04:22,511 Boring. 99 00:04:23,929 --> 00:04:26,848 Calculon? I thought you were in a coma. 100 00:04:26,932 --> 00:04:29,101 That's what I wanted you to think 101 00:04:29,184 --> 00:04:31,061 with your soft, human brain. 102 00:04:31,144 --> 00:04:33,814 FRY: Hey, uh, why is the TV getting smaller? 103 00:04:37,734 --> 00:04:39,444 We'll bill you for the couch. 104 00:04:46,535 --> 00:04:47,578 Cheer up, meat bag. 105 00:04:47,661 --> 00:04:49,288 You barely touched your amoeba. 106 00:04:49,913 --> 00:04:52,457 It looked good, but I just don't feel like eating. 107 00:04:52,541 --> 00:04:55,294 - You want it? - Nah, I'm trying to watch my input. 108 00:04:55,419 --> 00:04:59,214 I need plenty of wholesome, nutritious alcohol. (GULPS) 109 00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:03,302 The chemical energy keeps my fuel cells charged. 110 00:05:04,094 --> 00:05:05,262 What are the cigars for? 111 00:05:05,345 --> 00:05:07,055 They make me look cool. 112 00:05:07,764 --> 00:05:10,183 Oh, I can't believe they threw me out like that. 113 00:05:10,267 --> 00:05:12,227 I must have been really acting like a jerk. 114 00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:17,357 Yeah, but everybody's a jerk. You, me, this jerk. 115 00:05:17,441 --> 00:05:19,109 That's my philosophy. 116 00:05:19,192 --> 00:05:21,612 So, where are you going to stay? 117 00:05:21,737 --> 00:05:23,196 (SIGHS) I don't know. 118 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,782 Do refrigerators still come in cardboard boxes? 119 00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:28,327 Yeah, but the rents are outrageous. 120 00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:29,995 Why don't you just come move in with me? 121 00:05:30,078 --> 00:05:32,164 Really? That would be great! 122 00:05:32,456 --> 00:05:34,750 You sure I won't be imposing? 123 00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:37,127 Nah. I've always wanted a pet. 124 00:05:46,386 --> 00:05:48,138 Here we are, your new home. 125 00:05:48,430 --> 00:05:50,891 Cool. You know, I've never even seen 126 00:05:50,974 --> 00:05:52,226 a robot's apartment before. 127 00:05:52,309 --> 00:05:54,770 Come on in. I'll give you the tour. 128 00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:08,617 Let's see, where to start. 129 00:06:09,117 --> 00:06:11,078 Okay. This is the TV area. 130 00:06:11,161 --> 00:06:13,121 That over there is the breakfast nook. 131 00:06:13,413 --> 00:06:15,415 And over here is where you'll be living, 132 00:06:15,624 --> 00:06:18,585 which is great, 'cause till now it's just been wasted space. 133 00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:20,379 It's kind of cramped in here. 134 00:06:20,462 --> 00:06:22,506 I don't even have room to hang my clothes. 135 00:06:22,589 --> 00:06:24,800 Look, pal, you've only got one set of clothes 136 00:06:24,883 --> 00:06:27,094 and you're not taking them off while I'm here. 137 00:06:27,594 --> 00:06:29,012 (YAWNING) 138 00:06:29,096 --> 00:06:30,931 Well, I'm bushed. Good night. 139 00:06:31,014 --> 00:06:33,267 Wait. Bender? Bender? 140 00:06:34,643 --> 00:06:36,979 (SNORING) 141 00:06:37,062 --> 00:06:40,440 (MUMBLING) Kill all humans. Kill all humans. 142 00:06:40,524 --> 00:06:42,025 Must kill all... 143 00:06:42,317 --> 00:06:44,528 Bender, wake up! 144 00:06:44,611 --> 00:06:45,612 (GROANING) 145 00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:48,448 I was having the most wonderful dream. 146 00:06:48,740 --> 00:06:50,284 I think you were in it. 147 00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,327 Uh... Uh, listen, Bender, uh... 148 00:06:52,828 --> 00:06:54,204 Where's your bathroom? 149 00:06:54,454 --> 00:06:55,622 - Bath what? - Bathroom. 150 00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:57,207 - What room? - Bathroom. 151 00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:58,292 What, what? 152 00:06:58,375 --> 00:07:00,085 Ah, never mind. 153 00:07:00,168 --> 00:07:01,837 Mmm... 154 00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:06,300 (SNORING) 155 00:07:06,383 --> 00:07:08,802 Hey, sexy mama... 156 00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:11,013 Want to kill all humans? 157 00:07:14,349 --> 00:07:15,893 (WHISTLING TUNE) 158 00:07:15,976 --> 00:07:20,689 (BENDER WHISTLING) 159 00:07:20,772 --> 00:07:22,608 We sure are cheerful this morning. 160 00:07:22,691 --> 00:07:25,402 Yeah, this past week with Fry's been a blast. 161 00:07:25,485 --> 00:07:28,363 You know, beneath his warm, sunny exterior 162 00:07:28,447 --> 00:07:31,491 beats the cold, mechanical heart of a robot. 163 00:07:31,575 --> 00:07:32,659 (WHISTLING) 164 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,786 What happened to you? 165 00:07:35,078 --> 00:07:36,663 Oh, it's Bender's apartment. 166 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:39,750 He put in carpeting yesterday and now my head hits the ceiling. 167 00:07:39,833 --> 00:07:42,586 Hey, do you realize you're standing at a weird angle? 168 00:07:42,669 --> 00:07:44,671 - (CRACKING) - Now you're okay. 169 00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:46,590 Look at yourself, you're a wreck. 170 00:07:46,673 --> 00:07:49,009 You've got to find a new place to live. 171 00:07:49,092 --> 00:07:51,303 Is that an invitation? 172 00:07:51,386 --> 00:07:52,679 Love your optimism, Fry. 173 00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:56,099 But seriously, you've got to tell Bender you're moving out. 174 00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:58,143 Yeah, but he might get kind of upset. 175 00:07:58,268 --> 00:08:00,103 I don't think I can do that to him. 176 00:08:00,187 --> 00:08:01,897 Hey, there's my little space heater. 177 00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:03,023 (CHUCKLING) 178 00:08:03,106 --> 00:08:04,316 (CHUCKLING) 179 00:08:04,399 --> 00:08:05,400 (CHUCKLING) 180 00:08:05,692 --> 00:08:06,693 Well, I'm moving out. 181 00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:08,278 (CHUCKLING) What? 182 00:08:08,445 --> 00:08:09,655 I'm sorry, Bender, 183 00:08:09,738 --> 00:08:11,698 but there's just not enough room. 184 00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:12,824 Not enough room? 185 00:08:12,908 --> 00:08:14,701 My place is two cubic meters 186 00:08:15,202 --> 00:08:17,246 and we only take up 1.5 cubic meters. 187 00:08:17,746 --> 00:08:20,707 We've got room for a whole 'nother two-thirds of a person. 188 00:08:20,999 --> 00:08:24,419 What if I just help the two of you find a bigger apartment? 189 00:08:24,711 --> 00:08:25,921 I don't know. 190 00:08:26,004 --> 00:08:28,382 I've got a lot of great memories in my old place. 191 00:08:28,465 --> 00:08:29,758 (BEEPING AND ELECTRONIC BUZZ) 192 00:08:29,841 --> 00:08:31,134 And now they're gone. 193 00:08:34,721 --> 00:08:39,226 Sure, it ain't one of them la-de-da above-ground places 194 00:08:39,309 --> 00:08:42,771 but if you like dank... Forget about it. 195 00:08:42,854 --> 00:08:44,940 At least it's got a great view. 196 00:08:45,607 --> 00:08:47,067 - Aah! - What the...? 197 00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:50,696 (BOTH YELLING) 198 00:08:53,282 --> 00:08:55,701 'Scuse me. I got to go change a lightbulb. 199 00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:03,667 Wow. Now, this is fantastic. 200 00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:05,627 Hmm, I'm not sure we want to pay 201 00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,838 for a dimension we're not going to use. 202 00:09:07,921 --> 00:09:09,965 Aah! Ooh! Ee! Ooh! Oh! Aah! Ee! 203 00:09:10,048 --> 00:09:13,218 Ooh! Aah! Ee! Aah! Ooh! Ee! Ooh! Ee! Aah! 204 00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:14,761 Ooh! Ee! Ooh! 205 00:09:18,181 --> 00:09:20,809 Well, I give up. What's the catch? 206 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,019 Oh, no catch. 207 00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:24,438 Although we are technically in New Jersey. 208 00:09:24,521 --> 00:09:27,107 Not one place even remotely livable. 209 00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:29,359 Oh, how awful. 210 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,486 Did he at least die painlessly? 211 00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:33,572 To shreds, you say. (CLICKING TONGUE) 212 00:09:33,655 --> 00:09:36,408 Well, how is his wife holding up? 213 00:09:36,491 --> 00:09:38,327 To shreds, you say. 214 00:09:38,410 --> 00:09:39,745 Very well, then. 215 00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:43,540 Sad, sad, terrible, gruesome news 216 00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:46,001 about my colleague, Dr. Mobutu. 217 00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:48,754 Was his apartment rent controlled? 218 00:09:53,967 --> 00:09:56,220 Wow. This is beautiful. 219 00:09:56,303 --> 00:09:58,305 BENDER: What's with all the crap? 220 00:09:58,388 --> 00:09:59,640 It's not crap. 221 00:09:59,723 --> 00:10:01,266 Dr. Mobutu collected this crap 222 00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:04,937 while he was exploring the whatchacallit... Universe. 223 00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:08,899 Well, this place has everything except the only thing I care about... a TV. 224 00:10:08,982 --> 00:10:12,903 It's got a TV, you young whatchacallit... Idiot. 225 00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:15,405 Ooh. 226 00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:16,698 Whoa, slow down. 227 00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:19,076 This place just doesn't feel like home. 228 00:10:19,159 --> 00:10:20,869 It just isn't... Cozy. 229 00:10:24,831 --> 00:10:25,999 Ah... 230 00:10:26,166 --> 00:10:27,876 I can barely move. 231 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,295 It's perfect! 232 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:34,716 (THE ODD COUPLE THEME PLAYING) 233 00:11:19,803 --> 00:11:21,513 Man, it's a total sty. 234 00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:24,182 For the first time in 1,000 years 235 00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:25,893 I feel like I'm home. 236 00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:28,770 Yeah, it's going to be fun on a bun. 237 00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:31,773 You know, Fry, of all the friends I've had, 238 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,150 you're the first. 239 00:11:33,233 --> 00:11:34,943 (DOORBELL RINGING) 240 00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:39,781 Hey, mon. 241 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:40,908 (TALKING GIBBERISH) 242 00:11:41,825 --> 00:11:43,577 Happy housewarming, Fry. 243 00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:45,954 It's a miniature fruit salad tree. 244 00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:47,289 Ooh. 245 00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:53,462 Wah! 246 00:11:53,545 --> 00:11:54,880 - Hey, Amy. - Hey. 247 00:11:54,963 --> 00:11:55,964 (AMY GAGGING) 248 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,382 This is for you, Fry... 249 00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:58,842 Zevulon the great. 250 00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:00,636 He's teriyaki-style. 251 00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:05,474 Wow. Heavy-drinking crowd. 252 00:12:05,557 --> 00:12:06,808 (BELCHES LOUDLY) 253 00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,602 I'd better go out for more beer. 254 00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:11,230 Hang on. All My Circuits is about to start. 255 00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:14,274 I know, but I need alcohol to power up my batteries. 256 00:12:14,566 --> 00:12:16,902 If Calculon's wedding doesn't go just right 257 00:12:16,985 --> 00:12:19,655 I'll be emotionally and electrically drained. 258 00:12:19,738 --> 00:12:20,822 (BEEP) 259 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,074 (STATIC) 260 00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:27,246 Hey... 261 00:12:30,290 --> 00:12:32,251 (SMACKING LIPS) 262 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:33,877 These are mighty tasty. 263 00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:36,380 Thank you. I made them myself. 264 00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:38,590 (RETCHING) 265 00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:40,884 Shh. The wedding's about to start. 266 00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:42,928 If anyone here objects to this union, 267 00:12:43,011 --> 00:12:45,389 let them speak now or forever hold their... 268 00:12:45,472 --> 00:12:47,015 (BEEPING) 269 00:12:47,307 --> 00:12:49,309 (CROWD GASPS) 270 00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:50,936 Is he objecting or backing up? 271 00:12:51,019 --> 00:12:52,604 Looks like both. 272 00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:54,898 I'm afraid my half-brother is correct. 273 00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:56,900 You see, I have a terrible secret 274 00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:57,985 and that secret is... 275 00:12:58,068 --> 00:12:59,111 (STATIC) 276 00:12:59,194 --> 00:13:00,320 Oh, come on! 277 00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:02,281 Oh, fix it. 278 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,449 Hey, what happened to the TV? 279 00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:06,118 It just went out. 280 00:13:06,201 --> 00:13:08,662 This is an outrage. I'm going to go yell at the manager. 281 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:10,455 (ALL CHEERING) 282 00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:12,249 All right! 283 00:13:12,332 --> 00:13:14,376 Come back, Bender! It's working! 284 00:13:14,459 --> 00:13:17,087 To reiterate, my terrible secret is... 285 00:13:17,212 --> 00:13:18,380 (STATIC) 286 00:13:18,463 --> 00:13:20,173 (ALL GROANING) 287 00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:21,675 It's out again. 288 00:13:21,758 --> 00:13:24,386 What? That's the last straw. 289 00:13:24,469 --> 00:13:26,555 It's back on! 290 00:13:26,638 --> 00:13:27,890 (STATIC) 291 00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,266 (ALL GROANING) 292 00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:30,893 Pardon me. 293 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:32,978 I don't mean to pry into what you're doing in here 294 00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:35,105 with the crab and the one-eyed lady and the Chinese girl, 295 00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:38,775 but everyone on this floor is having trouble with their TV reception. 296 00:13:39,067 --> 00:13:41,653 Yeah, and you better get rid of whatever's causing it 297 00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:43,196 or we're out of this dump. 298 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,032 Relax, sonny. 299 00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,784 This cajigger'll find the source of the interference. 300 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:50,329 (RAPID BEEPING) 301 00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:56,960 (HIGHER-PITCHED BEEPING) 302 00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:58,212 (LOWER-PITCHED BEEPING) 303 00:13:58,295 --> 00:13:59,546 (HIGHER-PITCHED BEEPING) 304 00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,548 (LOWER-PITCHED BEEPING) 305 00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:05,219 (PEOPLE GRUMBLING) 306 00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,095 WOMAN: We want our TV back. 307 00:14:08,305 --> 00:14:10,349 (HIGHER-PITCHED BEEPING) 308 00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:12,142 There's your problem. 309 00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:14,519 Oh, my God. Bender, it's your thingy. 310 00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,855 (ALL TALKING ANGRILY) 311 00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:18,523 You people are nuts. 312 00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:22,027 My antenna never interfered with my old TV. 313 00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:24,780 You had cable. This is satellite. 314 00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:26,198 Obviously, your thoughts 315 00:14:26,281 --> 00:14:28,408 are being transmitted on the same frequency. 316 00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:30,244 They're on my cell phone, too. 317 00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:32,955 Madame, I believe you're mistaken. 318 00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:36,166 BENDER'S VOICE: Wow, that lady's got a huge ass. 319 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,627 Those could be anyone's thoughts, fat-ass. 320 00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:40,003 (BEEPING) 321 00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:41,922 The robot has to go. 322 00:14:42,005 --> 00:14:43,590 - Yeah! - (ALL AGREEING) 323 00:14:44,299 --> 00:14:45,801 Well, you heard the mob. 324 00:14:46,301 --> 00:14:47,678 Fine. Come on, Fry. 325 00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:49,513 Let's move to that apartment 326 00:14:49,596 --> 00:14:50,764 that smelled like a sewer. 327 00:14:50,847 --> 00:14:52,516 You liked that one, right? 328 00:14:52,599 --> 00:14:54,017 Oh, it's tempting, but, well... 329 00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,144 I am already kind of settled in here. 330 00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:58,855 Or we could live underground with the mutants. 331 00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:01,483 A little fire'll show them who's boss. 332 00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:05,487 Uh... Listen, is there maybe some way we could do this 333 00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,656 with you going and me not going? 334 00:15:07,739 --> 00:15:09,074 I don't understand. 335 00:15:09,157 --> 00:15:11,493 Well, you were going to live in the closet anyway. 336 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:13,620 Won't you be just as happy back in your old place? 337 00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:16,665 But... Then we wouldn't be roommates. 338 00:15:16,748 --> 00:15:19,710 I'll come visit sometime, and you can visit me here. 339 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:20,836 No, he can't. 340 00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:22,963 Anyway, I'm sure it'll work out. 341 00:15:23,046 --> 00:15:25,007 This way we'll both be happy. 342 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,885 Happy. Yeah, that's Bender. 343 00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:30,762 Always happy. 344 00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:35,392 Hey, the TV's back on! 345 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,478 MINISTER: (ON TV) We are gathered to mourn 346 00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:39,938 the death of Calculon, 347 00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:43,025 industrialist, private eye, friend. 348 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,861 Mind if I give the eulogy? 349 00:15:45,944 --> 00:15:47,112 (MONIQUE GASPS) 350 00:15:47,195 --> 00:15:49,448 MONIQUE: Calculon! You're alive! 351 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,783 (CHEERING) 352 00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:54,161 MAN: Yay! Calculon's back! 353 00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:57,414 Right. So long. 354 00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:59,666 - Good-bye. - (SNIFFLING) 355 00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:02,669 Do you think Calculon's evil twin will ever walk again? 356 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:05,172 I don't know, Amy. I just don't know. 357 00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:07,674 - Wah! - Hey, thanks for coming. 358 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,676 (GRUNTS) 359 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,178 Fry, you're Bender's best friend. 360 00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,263 How could you let that mob kick him out? 361 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,891 Aw, come on. Bender loves mobs. 362 00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:18,185 Only when he's in them, and you know it. 363 00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:19,853 You really hurt his feelings. 364 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,939 Don't girl me with that girl stuff. 365 00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,565 Bender and me are guys. 366 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:24,983 Guys don't have feelings. 367 00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:28,028 Bender's not a guy, he's a robot. 368 00:16:28,111 --> 00:16:29,613 Same thing. 369 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,911 It's so big and empty. 370 00:16:38,413 --> 00:16:41,875 My roommate's gone, and all he left behind was 371 00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,503 an eyelash and three skin flakes. 372 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:53,387 Aw... What's the point? 373 00:16:59,142 --> 00:17:00,269 Bender? 374 00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:02,646 (GASPS) My God, you're a mess. 375 00:17:02,729 --> 00:17:05,524 (GROANING) 376 00:17:05,732 --> 00:17:07,609 (SLURRED SPEECH) leave me alone. 377 00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:09,653 Look at that five o'clock rust. 378 00:17:10,153 --> 00:17:12,489 You've been up all night not drinking, haven't you? 379 00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:15,951 Hey... What I don't do is none of your business. 380 00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:18,036 Please, Bender, have some malt liquor, 381 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,914 if not for yourself, then for the people who love you. 382 00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:24,167 I hate the people who love me, and they hate me. 383 00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:25,919 Oh, now, look. 384 00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,255 It's obvious you miss being Fry's roommate 385 00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:30,924 but there's got to be a better way to deal with this. 386 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:34,094 Like how, having my antenna removed? 387 00:17:34,177 --> 00:17:36,305 Well... If that would work. 388 00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:39,933 Are you crazy? That's little Bender you're talking about. 389 00:17:40,183 --> 00:17:41,643 I can't cut it off. 390 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:45,188 You're not a robot or a man, so you wouldn't understand. 391 00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:47,399 I got to get out of here. 392 00:17:47,482 --> 00:17:48,650 Wait. 393 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,444 I want you to look me in the eye 394 00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:52,696 and promise you won't get behind the wheel 395 00:17:52,779 --> 00:17:55,532 without some kind of alcoholic beverage in your hand. 396 00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:58,702 I promise nothing! 397 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,917 (SLOW, SULTRY JAZZ PLAYING) 398 00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:29,274 (MUMBLING) I don't even want to... 399 00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:30,359 Why is... 400 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,902 (MUTTERING UNINTELLIGIBLY) 401 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,696 (GROANING) 402 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:35,948 (GRUNTS) 403 00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:38,825 What up? 404 00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:41,411 I can't just stand by and be silent about Bender anymore. 405 00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:44,915 Silent? You've been meddling for two solid weeks. 406 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,125 Well, I can't just do that anymore. 407 00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,127 Your best friend is out there somewhere 408 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,295 destroying himself. 409 00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:52,089 Really? 410 00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:54,341 I didn't think he'd miss this apartment that much. 411 00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:56,218 He doesn't care about the apartment. 412 00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:59,137 He cares about you, and you turned your back on him. 413 00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,014 Oh, man, I had no idea. 414 00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,934 If only I knew where he was, I'd go talk to him. 415 00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:05,394 (STATIC) 416 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:07,813 Oh, stupid TV. 417 00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:08,939 (SQUEAKING) 418 00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:11,358 Bender. You're blind stinking sober. 419 00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,860 That's right. I'm sober and crazy 420 00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,612 and I don't know what I might do. 421 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:18,490 - Don't do it. - I don't know what it is yet. 422 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,576 Oh, yeah, now I remember. 423 00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:23,537 I thought I could live alone, but I can't 424 00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:27,916 so I'm going to do what it takes to be your roommate again. 425 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,626 Bender, stop. 426 00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:32,212 Cutting Leela's head off won't solve anything. 427 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,882 No, I'm going to chop off my antenna. 428 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:37,009 Hey... Yeah, that sounds good. 429 00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:38,343 Can I give you a hand? 430 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,971 Fry, don't help him mutilate himself. 431 00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:42,431 But it's a useless antenna. 432 00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:44,892 It's not like he's a ham radio or something. 433 00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:46,101 I'm going to do it! 434 00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:48,270 I'm really going to do it! 435 00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:50,105 Don't try and stop me! 436 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:52,858 Here goes! 437 00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:56,153 Ohh... 438 00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:04,077 Hey, it worked. 439 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:05,203 The static's gone. 440 00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:08,040 I hate that this came between us, Calculon. 441 00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:09,291 Me, too. 442 00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:12,461 I'm filled with a large number of powerful emotions. 443 00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,129 You're my best friend. 444 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,131 I'm sorry I treated you so badly. 445 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,674 Apology accepted. 446 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:20,260 After all, you're only human. 447 00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:25,515 You guys could learn a lesson from those two. 448 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:26,725 She's right. 449 00:20:26,808 --> 00:20:28,936 You're my best friend, Fry. 450 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:31,563 I'm sorry I treated you so badly. 451 00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:33,106 Apology accepted. 452 00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,359 After all, you're only human. 453 00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:38,237 Wait a minute. 454 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,821 You did it all backwards. 455 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,657 Fry's the one who should be... 456 00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:44,076 Oh, never mind. 457 00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:47,579 (BOTH LAUGHING) 458 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,331 Oh... 459 00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:51,625 - What's wrong? - Nothing. 460 00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:55,587 I guess I'm just going to have to get used to being half a robot. 461 00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:56,672 Aw, this isn't right. 462 00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:59,049 Listen, Bender, if we found your antenna, 463 00:20:59,132 --> 00:21:00,676 could they still reattach it? 464 00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:04,555 Maybe, if we get it on ice right away. 465 00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:07,516 Bingo. 466 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:11,520 Hmm. You call that an antenna? 467 00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:18,569 This time you'll have all the human comforts. 468 00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:20,821 We'll get a couple of toilets, 469 00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:23,824 some food cookers, maybe a puppy... 470 00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:29,329 It's good to be home. 471 00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:30,622 It sure is. 472 00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:32,499 By the way, I saved your stuff. 473 00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:35,210 So that's where those skin flakes went. 474 00:21:35,502 --> 00:21:37,296 Hmm. You think this fruit tree's 475 00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:38,839 going to get enough light? 476 00:21:38,922 --> 00:21:40,549 There's a window in the closet. 477 00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:44,595 FRY: Whoa. 478 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:45,971 This is huge. 479 00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:48,181 Bender, why don't I just live in here? 480 00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:50,183 In a closet? 481 00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:51,852 (SIGHS) Oh, humans.