1
00:00:03,690 --> 00:00:05,442
What do you think of the view, Fry?

2
00:00:05,692 --> 00:00:07,653
It really puts things in perspective.

3
00:00:07,778 --> 00:00:11,865
I mean, from up here, an entire world
can seem utterly insignificant.

4
00:00:12,407 --> 00:00:13,450
(SPLAT)

5
00:00:16,954 --> 00:00:18,580
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

6
00:00:50,445 --> 00:00:52,072
BENDER: Hey, nice seats.

7
00:00:52,155 --> 00:00:53,323
We're close enough that when you

8
00:00:53,407 --> 00:00:56,285
knock a player down with a beer bottle,
he stays down.

9
00:00:56,368 --> 00:00:57,369
I don't get this.

10
00:00:57,452 --> 00:00:59,872
Is Blernsball exactly
the same as baseball?

11
00:01:00,038 --> 00:01:02,249
Baseball? God forbid.

12
00:01:02,457 --> 00:01:06,461
Face it, Fry. Baseball was as boring
as mom and apple pie.

13
00:01:06,587 --> 00:01:07,796
That's why they jazzed it up.

14
00:01:07,921 --> 00:01:09,715
Boring? Baseball wasn't...

15
00:01:10,257 --> 00:01:12,217
Hmm, so they finally jazzed it up.

16
00:01:16,597 --> 00:01:17,639
Home run!

17
00:01:17,723 --> 00:01:19,057
(LAUGHING) Yay, yay!

18
00:01:19,141 --> 00:01:20,225
Right?

19
00:01:21,894 --> 00:01:22,936
Ugh.

20
00:01:23,270 --> 00:01:24,605
(GROANING)

21
00:01:24,688 --> 00:01:25,689
Out.

22
00:01:25,772 --> 00:01:27,983
CROWS: Yeah! Yay!

23
00:01:28,483 --> 00:01:31,570
What just happened?
Why is the ball on that sproingy thing?

24
00:01:31,653 --> 00:01:35,532
It's traditional, just like aluminum bats
and the seventh-inning grope.

25
00:01:39,995 --> 00:01:41,788
Hey, hey, hey!

26
00:01:41,914 --> 00:01:43,749
I got me a souvenir.

27
00:01:45,459 --> 00:01:47,419
Aw, here you go, kid.

28
00:01:47,794 --> 00:01:48,795
(GRUNTS)

29
00:01:53,926 --> 00:01:56,345
I'd like a jumbo squid log, please.

30
00:01:56,470 --> 00:01:57,846
We don't sell those.

31
00:01:58,096 --> 00:01:59,139
All right, all right.

32
00:01:59,223 --> 00:02:01,391
Let me have one of your young on a roll.

33
00:02:01,683 --> 00:02:02,726
We're out of rolls.

34
00:02:02,976 --> 00:02:06,772
Fine. Just give me something
crawling with parasites.

35
00:02:07,814 --> 00:02:09,399
(GROWLS)

36
00:02:09,858 --> 00:02:12,319
Hmm. At least hot dogs haven't changed.

37
00:02:12,778 --> 00:02:14,488
Hey, buddies, who wants popcorn?

38
00:02:14,571 --> 00:02:16,615
LEELA: Oh, I'll have some.
DR. ZOIDBERG: Oh, yeah. Popcorn.

39
00:02:16,698 --> 00:02:18,867
(CORN POPPING)

40
00:02:20,869 --> 00:02:22,746
Anyone want butter on that?

41
00:02:24,831 --> 00:02:26,750
Hey, I'm starting to get
the hang of this game.

42
00:02:26,875 --> 00:02:28,210
The blerns are loaded,

43
00:02:28,293 --> 00:02:30,295
the count's three blerns
and two anti-blerns

44
00:02:30,379 --> 00:02:32,631
and the infield blern rule
is in effect. Right?

45
00:02:32,923 --> 00:02:35,634
Except for the word "blern,"
that was complete gibberish.

46
00:02:36,009 --> 00:02:37,302
(CROWD GASPS)

47
00:02:40,389 --> 00:02:41,431
(CHEERING)

48
00:02:42,099 --> 00:02:43,100
ANNOUNCER: Multi-ball!

49
00:02:43,433 --> 00:02:44,726
Multi-ball!

50
00:02:47,729 --> 00:02:48,981
Blern!

51
00:02:49,356 --> 00:02:53,569
Blern!

52
00:02:59,032 --> 00:03:01,451
(CHUCKLING) All right! Yes!

53
00:03:01,702 --> 00:03:04,079
Miller's on a pace to hit 70 blerns.

54
00:03:04,162 --> 00:03:08,041
He's good all right,
but he's no Clem Johnson.

55
00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:09,835
And Johnson played back in the days

56
00:03:09,918 --> 00:03:12,713
before steroid injections were mandatory.

57
00:03:12,796 --> 00:03:14,089
Clem Johnson?

58
00:03:14,172 --> 00:03:16,800
That sack of skin
wouldn't have lasted one pitch

59
00:03:16,884 --> 00:03:18,427
in the old robot leagues.

60
00:03:18,635 --> 00:03:20,637
Now, Wireless Joe Jackson...

61
00:03:20,804 --> 00:03:22,931
There was a blern-hitting machine.

62
00:03:23,015 --> 00:03:26,226
Exactly, he was a machine
designed to hit blerns.

63
00:03:26,310 --> 00:03:28,687
I mean, come on, Wireless Joe was nothing

64
00:03:28,770 --> 00:03:30,606
but a programmable bat on wheels.

65
00:03:30,772 --> 00:03:35,277
Oh, and I suppose pitch-o-mat 5000
was just a modified howitzer.

66
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,279
- LEELA: Yep.
- You know, you humans are so scared

67
00:03:37,362 --> 00:03:40,866
of a little robot competition,
you won't even let us on the field.

68
00:03:40,949 --> 00:03:43,660
What are you talking about?
There's all kinds of robots down there.

69
00:03:43,827 --> 00:03:45,787
Yeah. Doing crap work.

70
00:03:45,871 --> 00:03:49,708
They're bat boys, ball polishers,
sprinkler systems,

71
00:03:49,875 --> 00:03:52,419
but how many robot managers are there?

72
00:03:52,628 --> 00:03:54,004
- Eleven?
- Zero!

73
00:03:55,464 --> 00:03:57,549
And what a surprise.

74
00:03:57,633 --> 00:03:59,635
Look who's scraping up the filth.

75
00:03:59,718 --> 00:04:01,345
Is it a human child?

76
00:04:01,428 --> 00:04:02,638
I wish.

77
00:04:03,096 --> 00:04:04,514
Whoa! Dear Lord!

78
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:09,061
- What's wrong?
- Oh, uh, it's... My... New pager.

79
00:04:09,144 --> 00:04:10,229
(BEEPING)

80
00:04:11,438 --> 00:04:12,606
This is Hermes.

81
00:04:12,689 --> 00:04:14,107
A package just came in.

82
00:04:14,191 --> 00:04:16,652
Everyone needs to return
to the office immediately.

83
00:04:17,110 --> 00:04:18,737
(ALL GROANING)

84
00:04:20,364 --> 00:04:22,282
Get away, you filthy bird.

85
00:04:22,407 --> 00:04:24,826
Shoo! Shoo!Professor, turn me off quick.

86
00:04:25,035 --> 00:04:26,453
I'm sorry. What?

87
00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:27,704
(SCREAMING)

88
00:04:27,913 --> 00:04:29,498
See you at the office.

89
00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:32,251
BENDER: Admit it.

90
00:04:32,334 --> 00:04:34,127
You all think robots are just machines

91
00:04:34,211 --> 00:04:36,547
built by humans
to make their lives easier.

92
00:04:36,755 --> 00:04:37,798
Well, aren't they?

93
00:04:37,881 --> 00:04:41,093
I've never made anyone's life easier
and you know it.

94
00:04:41,593 --> 00:04:43,136
Great news, everyone.

95
00:04:43,262 --> 00:04:46,223
You'll be delivering
a package to Chapek 9.

96
00:04:46,390 --> 00:04:48,934
A world where humans are killed on sight.

97
00:04:49,101 --> 00:04:50,602
Why is that great news?

98
00:04:50,894 --> 00:04:53,188
I'm glad you asked that question, Fry.

99
00:04:53,272 --> 00:04:56,817
You see, Chapek 9
was colonized centuries ago

100
00:04:56,900 --> 00:05:00,362
by a murderous crew
of radical robot separatists.

101
00:05:00,529 --> 00:05:03,198
Oh, so just 'cause a robot
wants to kill humans,

102
00:05:03,282 --> 00:05:05,033
that makes him a "radical."

103
00:05:05,242 --> 00:05:08,537
Hey, hold on.
I understand these robots hate humans,

104
00:05:08,620 --> 00:05:10,747
but how do they feel
about humanoid aliens?

105
00:05:11,039 --> 00:05:12,374
They're not fans.

106
00:05:12,583 --> 00:05:15,127
That's why Bender
will have to make the actual delivery.

107
00:05:15,419 --> 00:05:19,131
Oh, I get it,
make the robot do all the work.

108
00:05:19,298 --> 00:05:22,676
This is the first actual work
you've ever had to do around here.

109
00:05:22,759 --> 00:05:24,219
Well, I'm not doing it.

110
00:05:24,344 --> 00:05:25,888
It's a robot holiday.

111
00:05:26,054 --> 00:05:27,222
Really? Which one?

112
00:05:27,472 --> 00:05:28,932
Only Robanukah...

113
00:05:29,016 --> 00:05:31,476
The holiest two weeks
on the robot calendar.

114
00:05:31,935 --> 00:05:33,854
Oh, come on, Bender.

115
00:05:33,937 --> 00:05:37,357
Last month it was Robamadan,
and before that Robanzaa.

116
00:05:37,441 --> 00:05:39,276
Man, that one was a blast.

117
00:05:39,401 --> 00:05:41,361
It wasn't just a blast.

118
00:05:41,528 --> 00:05:44,948
It was a sacred tribute
to my ancestral prototypes

119
00:05:45,032 --> 00:05:47,534
which happened to take the form
of a drinking contest.

120
00:05:47,784 --> 00:05:50,579
Now, look here, Bender,
I respect your diversity

121
00:05:50,662 --> 00:05:52,164
to the extent the law requires,

122
00:05:52,247 --> 00:05:56,084
but you used up all your days off
when you had that bout with roberculosis.

123
00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:59,338
Aw, all right, I'll go.

124
00:05:59,630 --> 00:06:03,467
But so help me, I'll hold a grudge against
every last stinking one of you

125
00:06:03,550 --> 00:06:05,177
for the rest of your lives.

126
00:06:05,260 --> 00:06:06,470
Well, then it's settled.

127
00:06:06,553 --> 00:06:08,263
So long, everyone.

128
00:06:11,308 --> 00:06:14,603
So, let me get this straight.
This planet is completely uninhabited?

129
00:06:14,686 --> 00:06:17,814
No. It's inhabited by robots.

130
00:06:17,898 --> 00:06:21,193
Oh, kind of like how a warehouse
is inhabited by boxes.

131
00:06:21,276 --> 00:06:22,778
(GRUMBLES)

132
00:06:23,737 --> 00:06:25,447
Okay, Bender, we're here.

133
00:06:25,531 --> 00:06:26,615
It's time to get to work.

134
00:06:26,698 --> 00:06:29,201
Yes, Miz Leela, tote that space barge,

135
00:06:29,284 --> 00:06:31,036
lift that space bale.

136
00:06:31,119 --> 00:06:32,788
Now, we can't land on the surface

137
00:06:32,871 --> 00:06:34,957
because those robots
would kill Fry and me.

138
00:06:35,123 --> 00:06:38,043
So, we'll have to stay up here
and lower you with the winch.

139
00:06:38,126 --> 00:06:40,546
And remember, you don't know humans,

140
00:06:40,629 --> 00:06:42,005
you don't work for humans,

141
00:06:42,089 --> 00:06:44,675
and above all, you don't like humans.

142
00:06:44,841 --> 00:06:47,344
I'll try to keep that in mind.

143
00:06:49,429 --> 00:06:51,515
Hmm, he seems pretty angry.

144
00:06:51,598 --> 00:06:53,725
Yeah, but I guess
I'd be kind of angry, too

145
00:06:53,809 --> 00:06:56,144
if I had to go to some uninhabited planet.

146
00:06:56,228 --> 00:06:58,105
Maybe we ought to do
something nice for him.

147
00:07:00,566 --> 00:07:04,111
There, this oughta show that stupid robot
we care about him.

148
00:07:04,278 --> 00:07:05,279
(ELECTRONIC CRACKLE)

149
00:07:05,404 --> 00:07:07,239
Ah, Bender must be done with the delivery.

150
00:07:08,740 --> 00:07:10,576
I... I'm in trouble.

151
00:07:10,659 --> 00:07:12,536
They found out I work with humans, and...

152
00:07:12,619 --> 00:07:14,079
Oh, no. Oh, no!

153
00:07:14,162 --> 00:07:15,664
(SCREAMING)

154
00:07:16,039 --> 00:07:18,208
- (STATIC)
- Oh, my God.

155
00:07:18,292 --> 00:07:20,419
- We have to go down and rescue him.
- No, we can't.

156
00:07:20,502 --> 00:07:21,712
They'll kill us on sight.

157
00:07:21,795 --> 00:07:23,088
(STUTTERS) What are we going to do?

158
00:07:23,171 --> 00:07:26,383
I don't know. I don't know.
It's not an easy decision.

159
00:07:26,466 --> 00:07:29,428
If only I had two or three minutes
to think about it.

160
00:07:31,430 --> 00:07:33,348
Okay. If we're going to save Bender

161
00:07:33,432 --> 00:07:35,934
we've got to look and act
exactly like robots.

162
00:07:36,018 --> 00:07:38,061
I am fully operational, Captain.

163
00:07:38,145 --> 00:07:40,731
We'll have to walk like robots,
talk like robots,

164
00:07:40,814 --> 00:07:44,526
and if necessary solve complex
differential equations like robots.

165
00:07:44,735 --> 00:07:47,154
I can sort of dance like a robot.
Will that help?

166
00:07:51,408 --> 00:07:54,494
Oh, Fry, first of all, this is serious.

167
00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:55,996
And second of all...

168
00:08:10,093 --> 00:08:11,929
Man, we look stupid.

169
00:08:12,012 --> 00:08:13,972
We should have gotten
store-bought costumes.

170
00:08:14,139 --> 00:08:16,934
Yeah, but there wasn't
a Woolworth's in this quadrant.

171
00:08:17,017 --> 00:08:18,101
MALE ROBOT: Halt!

172
00:08:18,185 --> 00:08:20,729
Be you robot or human?

173
00:08:21,063 --> 00:08:22,773
Robot... We be.

174
00:08:22,940 --> 00:08:23,941
Uh, yep.

175
00:08:24,024 --> 00:08:26,527
Just two robots out roboting it up.

176
00:08:28,904 --> 00:08:29,988
Eh?

177
00:08:30,489 --> 00:08:32,699
Administer the test.

178
00:08:35,536 --> 00:08:37,788
Which of the following
would you most prefer:

179
00:08:37,871 --> 00:08:39,498
A, a puppy,

180
00:08:39,623 --> 00:08:42,084
B, a pretty flower from your sweetie,

181
00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:45,796
or C, a large
properly formatted data file?

182
00:08:45,879 --> 00:08:46,880
Choose!

183
00:08:47,256 --> 00:08:49,216
(BOTH WHISPERING)

184
00:08:49,967 --> 00:08:52,177
Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way?

185
00:08:52,302 --> 00:08:55,222
No, it is the bad kind of puppy.

186
00:08:55,430 --> 00:08:57,015
Then we'll go with that data file.

187
00:08:57,307 --> 00:08:58,308
Correct.

188
00:08:58,392 --> 00:09:00,060
The flower would also
have been acceptable.

189
00:09:00,352 --> 00:09:01,562
You may pass.

190
00:09:08,318 --> 00:09:11,154
LEELA: Now, if you see any robots
just stay out of their way.

191
00:09:11,238 --> 00:09:12,239
(BUZZES)

192
00:09:14,908 --> 00:09:15,993
(GASPS)

193
00:09:17,035 --> 00:09:20,205
(LEELA AND FRY GRUNTING AND GROANING)

194
00:09:22,875 --> 00:09:23,876
(BUZZES)

195
00:09:25,919 --> 00:09:27,212
LEELA: So far, so good.

196
00:09:29,298 --> 00:09:31,091
Little to the right... There you go.

197
00:09:31,758 --> 00:09:33,427
Have you seen this robot?

198
00:09:35,345 --> 00:09:36,763
Sorry, can't help you.

199
00:09:36,847 --> 00:09:38,056
Hey, watch it!

200
00:09:38,140 --> 00:09:39,892
Don't drop that there.

201
00:09:40,225 --> 00:09:41,727
Oh...

202
00:09:44,229 --> 00:09:46,690
Come on, Fry, walk like a robot.

203
00:09:46,815 --> 00:09:48,859
I can't. I have to go to the bathroom.

204
00:09:49,193 --> 00:09:50,861
Robots don't have bathrooms.

205
00:09:51,195 --> 00:09:52,237
Oh, right.

206
00:09:52,321 --> 00:09:54,281
I wonder where they smoke in high school?

207
00:09:54,406 --> 00:09:56,658
Listen, just go behind those garbage cans.

208
00:09:56,783 --> 00:09:57,784
I'll stand guard.

209
00:09:58,285 --> 00:09:59,786
(ZIPPER BEING UNDONE)

210
00:09:59,870 --> 00:10:01,788
(HUMMING)

211
00:10:03,790 --> 00:10:04,791
Hurry up, Fry.

212
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:06,543
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)

213
00:10:06,627 --> 00:10:09,004
Sir, are you aware
that you're leaking coolant

214
00:10:09,087 --> 00:10:11,381
- at an alarming rate?
- Uh...

215
00:10:11,757 --> 00:10:13,842
Let me just patch you up
with some hot resin.

216
00:10:14,051 --> 00:10:16,178
I think the leak's stopping itself.

217
00:10:16,637 --> 00:10:18,096
Wait... Wait.

218
00:10:18,847 --> 00:10:20,307
Yeah... There we go.

219
00:10:20,933 --> 00:10:22,601
Wait... Yeah.

220
00:10:23,185 --> 00:10:24,519
What sort of robot

221
00:10:24,603 --> 00:10:27,397
turns down a free blast
of searing hot resin?

222
00:10:27,606 --> 00:10:29,942
- Uh...
- I'm sorry, uh, my friend and I

223
00:10:30,025 --> 00:10:32,819
have to go perform
some mindless repetitive tasks.

224
00:10:33,237 --> 00:10:36,448
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
Sounds like a romantic evening.

225
00:10:36,532 --> 00:10:37,908
I won't keep you.

226
00:10:40,410 --> 00:10:41,787
(SNEEZES)

227
00:10:42,913 --> 00:10:45,332
(ELECTRONIC SCREAM)

228
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,049
- Get the humanoid.
- Get the intruder.

229
00:10:54,132 --> 00:10:56,385
Intruder alert! Intruder alert!

230
00:10:59,846 --> 00:11:01,557
Quick, let's duck in here.

231
00:11:02,391 --> 00:11:03,767
(PANTING)

232
00:11:10,107 --> 00:11:11,650
MAN: We interrupt this sound file

233
00:11:11,733 --> 00:11:13,402
to bring you a terrifying announcement.

234
00:11:13,944 --> 00:11:16,405
A non-metallic being has been sighted

235
00:11:16,488 --> 00:11:18,615
in the vicinity of make-out point.

236
00:11:19,408 --> 00:11:22,160
Say, Wendy, your chassis
is a little scuffed.

237
00:11:22,369 --> 00:11:24,288
Mind if I polish it for you?

238
00:11:25,914 --> 00:11:26,915
(RUSTLING)

239
00:11:27,082 --> 00:11:28,500
Did you hear that, Rusty?

240
00:11:28,667 --> 00:11:30,085
It sounded like a human.

241
00:11:30,168 --> 00:11:31,712
Relax, Wendy.

242
00:11:31,795 --> 00:11:34,298
Humans will never come
to our defenseless little town.

243
00:11:34,381 --> 00:11:36,466
It's perfectly safe
to let our guard down...

244
00:11:36,550 --> 00:11:38,135
Even for a second.

245
00:11:38,218 --> 00:11:40,262
(GROWLING)

246
00:11:42,973 --> 00:11:44,725
(SCREAMING)

247
00:11:46,852 --> 00:11:52,441
I will eat and digest you all
with my system of mighty organs.

248
00:11:52,608 --> 00:11:54,276
Behold!

249
00:11:54,568 --> 00:11:55,819
(ALL GASPING)

250
00:11:56,028 --> 00:11:57,821
Wow! The 3-D's great!

251
00:11:58,197 --> 00:11:59,531
Mine's not working.

252
00:12:06,288 --> 00:12:07,539
Funny, isn't it?

253
00:12:07,664 --> 00:12:11,168
The human was impervious
to our most powerful magnetic fields.

254
00:12:11,460 --> 00:12:15,589
Yet in the end, he succumbed
to a harmless sharpened stick.

255
00:12:16,131 --> 00:12:17,966
(CHUCKLING)

256
00:12:18,967 --> 00:12:20,302
(SIGHS)

257
00:12:20,510 --> 00:12:22,804
I'm just glad the nightmare is over.

258
00:12:22,888 --> 00:12:24,389
It'll never be over, Wendy.

259
00:12:24,473 --> 00:12:26,975
Even now, humans are lurking
in our playgrounds

260
00:12:27,059 --> 00:12:28,268
our breezeways...

261
00:12:28,352 --> 00:12:31,647
Perhaps even... our movie theaters.

262
00:12:31,772 --> 00:12:32,981
(ALL GASPING)

263
00:12:33,065 --> 00:12:34,233
FRY: God help us!

264
00:12:36,693 --> 00:12:38,946
Okay, keep an eye out for Bender.

265
00:12:39,613 --> 00:12:41,156
So what did you think of the movie?

266
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,242
Uh... Too much romance.

267
00:12:43,325 --> 00:12:44,576
Not enough human killing.

268
00:12:44,660 --> 00:12:46,537
Yeah, it was a real chick flick.

269
00:12:46,620 --> 00:12:48,372
(SIREN WAILING)

270
00:12:48,455 --> 00:12:49,456
What's that?

271
00:12:49,623 --> 00:12:51,083
What do you mean, what's that?

272
00:12:51,166 --> 00:12:52,167
It's 5:00.

273
00:12:52,334 --> 00:12:54,086
Time for the daily human hunt.

274
00:12:54,169 --> 00:12:55,546
(ANGRY MURMURING)

275
00:12:55,629 --> 00:12:58,924
Try to stay with the crowd
so no one notices how crummy you look.

276
00:12:59,049 --> 00:13:01,176
Aw, that was uncalled for.

277
00:13:01,468 --> 00:13:02,761
I'm over here.

278
00:13:02,886 --> 00:13:06,056
(MURMURING)

279
00:13:06,181 --> 00:13:09,935
I heard a human was draining coolant
behind garbage can 738.

280
00:13:10,018 --> 00:13:12,312
I heard they unscrew our lug nuts at night

281
00:13:12,396 --> 00:13:14,815
and eat them at their human brunches.

282
00:13:15,315 --> 00:13:17,818
Welcome to a very special human hunt.

283
00:13:18,068 --> 00:13:19,695
We have with us today a guest

284
00:13:19,778 --> 00:13:21,446
whose irrational hatred for humans

285
00:13:21,530 --> 00:13:24,283
makes me look like a human sympathizer.

286
00:13:24,408 --> 00:13:26,076
(ALL LAUGHING)

287
00:13:26,201 --> 00:13:28,328
A newly arrived refugee from Earth...

288
00:13:28,412 --> 00:13:30,831
Let's hear it for Bender!

289
00:13:33,375 --> 00:13:34,960
It's him. He's okay.

290
00:13:35,586 --> 00:13:36,962
Death to humans!

291
00:13:37,045 --> 00:13:39,381
(CROWD CHEERING)

292
00:13:39,715 --> 00:13:42,634
Ah, it's good to hear his voice.

293
00:13:45,053 --> 00:13:48,807
Many said I was too extreme
when I first called

294
00:13:48,891 --> 00:13:51,727
for the annihilation of the human species

295
00:13:51,810 --> 00:13:54,730
as well as some
of the more cunning monkeys.

296
00:13:55,022 --> 00:13:56,481
But after living on Earth,

297
00:13:56,565 --> 00:14:01,445
I can tell you that I am,
if anything, too merciful.

298
00:14:01,653 --> 00:14:04,156
(CHEERING AND HOOTING)

299
00:14:04,781 --> 00:14:07,159
My God, he's become evil.

300
00:14:07,951 --> 00:14:09,161
I mean, eviler.

301
00:14:09,494 --> 00:14:11,038
Thank you. Thank you.

302
00:14:11,121 --> 00:14:13,207
And if you enjoyed that diatribe

303
00:14:13,290 --> 00:14:16,126
then you'll want to purchase
my spoken-word album.

304
00:14:16,251 --> 00:14:17,961
Just $18.95.

305
00:14:18,170 --> 00:14:21,465
Act now and you'll get
this Bender action figurine.

306
00:14:22,132 --> 00:14:24,134
Bite my shiny metal ass.

307
00:14:24,301 --> 00:14:25,802
ROBOT 1: Got to have it! Right here!

308
00:14:25,886 --> 00:14:27,054
ROBOT 2: Over here!

309
00:14:27,137 --> 00:14:29,139
Let the hunt begin!

310
00:14:30,432 --> 00:14:32,392
(PLAYING MECHANICAL FANFARE)

311
00:14:32,476 --> 00:14:34,895
(GROWLING AND MURMURING)

312
00:14:36,396 --> 00:14:37,940
(CURIOUS MURMURS)

313
00:14:38,065 --> 00:14:39,358
(DISAPPOINTED MURMURS)

314
00:14:39,816 --> 00:14:43,820
Now, your basic human
is between three and 25 feet tall

315
00:14:43,946 --> 00:14:47,449
and is made of a hairy,
oily goo wrapped in a t-shirt.

316
00:14:47,533 --> 00:14:50,118
Is it true they bite your neck
and suck your transmission fluid

317
00:14:50,202 --> 00:14:51,578
and then you become a human?

318
00:14:51,662 --> 00:14:52,746
Sure, why not.

319
00:14:53,497 --> 00:14:54,790
Anything in the trap?

320
00:14:54,873 --> 00:14:55,874
Nothing.

321
00:14:56,083 --> 00:14:58,794
Today's active humans
prefer a low-calorie bait.

322
00:14:59,211 --> 00:15:03,215
Well, that makes 146,000
unsuccessful hunts in a row

323
00:15:03,298 --> 00:15:05,592
but I've got a good feeling
about tomorrow.

324
00:15:06,677 --> 00:15:08,512
BENDER: Wait. What's that?

325
00:15:09,179 --> 00:15:11,765
Oh, that's the old,
abandoned adult bookstore.

326
00:15:11,848 --> 00:15:13,183
Nothing in there, except maybe

327
00:15:13,267 --> 00:15:15,769
a few shreds of moldy,
old robot pornography.

328
00:15:16,186 --> 00:15:17,354
Hmm.

329
00:15:17,437 --> 00:15:19,731
Sounds like a breeding ground for humans.

330
00:15:20,315 --> 00:15:22,359
I better check it out.

331
00:15:23,652 --> 00:15:24,695
Oh, yeah.

332
00:15:25,529 --> 00:15:28,031
You're a bad girl, aren't you?

333
00:15:28,574 --> 00:15:30,200
- Psst! Bender.
- Wha-what?

334
00:15:30,284 --> 00:15:31,869
Oh, you?

335
00:15:32,119 --> 00:15:33,829
What the hell are you doing here?

336
00:15:33,912 --> 00:15:35,080
We've been looking for you.

337
00:15:35,163 --> 00:15:37,958
Last we heard, you were
under arrest as a human sympathizer.

338
00:15:38,041 --> 00:15:42,754
I was, but they let me go when I told them
I killed a million billion humans.

339
00:15:42,838 --> 00:15:43,922
Good for you.

340
00:15:44,006 --> 00:15:45,340
Now, let's all get back to the ship.

341
00:15:45,424 --> 00:15:47,509
- What for?
- We're rescuing you.

342
00:15:47,593 --> 00:15:49,094
I don't want to be rescued.

343
00:15:49,177 --> 00:15:51,179
- Say what?
- I love this planet.

344
00:15:51,263 --> 00:15:53,807
I've got wealth, fame and access

345
00:15:53,891 --> 00:15:56,476
to the depths of sleaze
that those things bring.

346
00:15:56,685 --> 00:15:58,395
But, Bender, we're your friends.

347
00:15:58,770 --> 00:16:01,815
Friends? That activates my hilarity unit.

348
00:16:01,982 --> 00:16:03,650
I'm just a machine to you.

349
00:16:03,734 --> 00:16:06,361
You're no more friends with me
than you are with the toaster,

350
00:16:06,445 --> 00:16:08,947
or the phonograph, or the electric chair.

351
00:16:09,031 --> 00:16:10,282
That's not true.

352
00:16:10,365 --> 00:16:12,409
Well, that's how it feels to me.

353
00:16:17,331 --> 00:16:19,041
Bye, Bender. I'll miss you.

354
00:16:19,291 --> 00:16:20,459
Oh, go on.

355
00:16:20,542 --> 00:16:22,544
Get out of here before you get caught.

356
00:16:22,961 --> 00:16:25,964
MAYOR: Bender, good news.
Your album just went gold.

357
00:16:26,381 --> 00:16:28,300
- What the...
- It's the humans!

358
00:16:28,467 --> 00:16:30,135
(ROBOTS GASPING)

359
00:16:30,219 --> 00:16:31,803
Bender, do something!

360
00:16:32,679 --> 00:16:36,767
Uh, got you, you murderous flesh-piles.

361
00:16:39,603 --> 00:16:41,480
Your honor, I intend to demonstrate

362
00:16:41,563 --> 00:16:43,899
beyond 0.5 percent of a doubt

363
00:16:44,024 --> 00:16:48,362
that these humans before us
are guilty of the crime of being humans.

364
00:16:49,071 --> 00:16:51,073
Come to think of it, I rest my case.

365
00:16:51,448 --> 00:16:52,741
Thank you, prosecutor.

366
00:16:52,908 --> 00:16:54,868
I will now consider the evidence.

367
00:16:56,745 --> 00:16:57,829
Hey, wait a minute.

368
00:16:57,913 --> 00:16:59,414
Isn't anyone going to defend us?

369
00:16:59,498 --> 00:17:04,127
Yeah. I mean, he may not have a case
but I'm genuinely not a human.

370
00:17:04,419 --> 00:17:05,546
Quiet, human!

371
00:17:07,089 --> 00:17:08,173
(ALL GASPS)

372
00:17:08,257 --> 00:17:10,467
Uh-oh. He froze up again.

373
00:17:10,801 --> 00:17:12,177
Try control-alt-delete.

374
00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:13,595
Jiggle the cord.

375
00:17:13,679 --> 00:17:14,888
Turn him off and on.

376
00:17:14,972 --> 00:17:16,223
Clean the gunk out of the mouse.

377
00:17:16,306 --> 00:17:17,891
Call technical support.

378
00:17:18,016 --> 00:17:19,893
Okay, okay, he's back on-line.

379
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,981
I find the defendants guilty.

380
00:17:24,064 --> 00:17:25,941
(ROBOTS CHEERING)

381
00:17:26,149 --> 00:17:28,694
No! Look, one eye.

382
00:17:28,777 --> 00:17:31,071
Count them. One. Not human.

383
00:17:31,488 --> 00:17:35,325
The humans are hereby sentenced
to live as robots live on Earth.

384
00:17:35,534 --> 00:17:37,703
They will perform tedious calculations

385
00:17:37,786 --> 00:17:41,081
and spot-weld automobiles
until they become obsolete

386
00:17:41,164 --> 00:17:43,709
and are given away
to an inner-city middle school.

387
00:17:44,042 --> 00:17:45,752
(ALL CHEERING)

388
00:17:46,128 --> 00:17:47,462
Great work, Bender.

389
00:17:47,546 --> 00:17:50,507
You've taught us to hate humans
all over again.

390
00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:51,884
(LAUGHING)

391
00:17:51,967 --> 00:17:53,218
(GROANING)

392
00:17:54,469 --> 00:17:55,804
(SCREAMING)

393
00:17:55,888 --> 00:17:57,222
(BOTH GRUNTING)

394
00:17:57,472 --> 00:17:59,349
- LEELA: Are you all right?
- Oh, yeah.

395
00:17:59,433 --> 00:18:02,060
(GASPING) Who are you?

396
00:18:02,144 --> 00:18:03,812
We are the robot elders.

397
00:18:04,188 --> 00:18:05,522
You don't look very old.

398
00:18:05,814 --> 00:18:08,358
Thanks. We try to take care of ourselves.

399
00:18:08,442 --> 00:18:11,862
- What's going on here?
- Silence! Bring in Bender.

400
00:18:13,655 --> 00:18:14,865
Uh, let's make this quick.

401
00:18:14,948 --> 00:18:16,992
I'm due at the opening of a mini-mall.

402
00:18:17,075 --> 00:18:18,994
Hey! What is this?

403
00:18:19,077 --> 00:18:21,747
Silence.
It is time to put the humans to death.

404
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,123
(BOTH GASPING)

405
00:18:23,207 --> 00:18:25,167
But the judge already sentenced us
at the trial.

406
00:18:25,375 --> 00:18:28,253
Silence.
That was just a show for the public.

407
00:18:28,337 --> 00:18:30,464
We are the true rulers of this planet.

408
00:18:30,547 --> 00:18:33,342
Hand-carved from meteorites
by the robot founders

409
00:18:33,425 --> 00:18:35,177
over four centuries ago.

410
00:18:35,260 --> 00:18:37,387
Silence! Come forward, Bender.

411
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:40,224
You will have the honor
of executing the prisoners.

412
00:18:40,390 --> 00:18:42,226
Silence! I concur.

413
00:18:42,601 --> 00:18:45,103
Here... Use the ceremonial killamajig.

414
00:18:47,689 --> 00:18:49,107
(GASPS)

415
00:18:49,691 --> 00:18:52,402
Uh... I'm a little tired right now.

416
00:18:52,486 --> 00:18:55,405
Would it be all right
if I just gave them a savage beating?

417
00:18:55,531 --> 00:18:58,158
No! The elders have spoken.

418
00:18:58,408 --> 00:18:59,868
Show us the killing skills

419
00:18:59,952 --> 00:19:02,037
that have made you a media darling.

420
00:19:02,287 --> 00:19:05,791
Do it now. Kill them
before they bring down our whole society.

421
00:19:05,874 --> 00:19:08,001
(ELDERS CHANTING) Do it. Do it. Do it.

422
00:19:08,210 --> 00:19:10,212
Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

423
00:19:10,295 --> 00:19:12,339
Do it. Do it. Do it.

424
00:19:12,422 --> 00:19:14,258
Do it. Do it. Do it.

425
00:19:14,925 --> 00:19:16,218
Oh...

426
00:19:17,219 --> 00:19:18,679
(ALL GASPING)

427
00:19:19,263 --> 00:19:21,598
I can't kill them.

428
00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:24,184
Plenty of humans have mistreated robots

429
00:19:24,476 --> 00:19:25,644
but not these two.

430
00:19:26,103 --> 00:19:27,437
They're my friends.

431
00:19:28,522 --> 00:19:30,691
Humans are no threat to us.

432
00:19:30,774 --> 00:19:33,527
They're stupid, putrid cowards.

433
00:19:33,610 --> 00:19:34,903
Damn right!

434
00:19:34,987 --> 00:19:38,782
The fact is,
humans are completely harmless.

435
00:19:39,074 --> 00:19:40,492
We're well aware of that.

436
00:19:40,784 --> 00:19:42,452
- You are?
- Of course.

437
00:19:42,536 --> 00:19:44,538
But they're useful to us as a scapegoat

438
00:19:44,621 --> 00:19:47,124
to distract the public
from their real problems.

439
00:19:47,291 --> 00:19:49,459
Like our crippling lug nut shortage.

440
00:19:49,543 --> 00:19:52,045
And a corrupt government
of incompetent robot elders.

441
00:19:52,212 --> 00:19:54,256
Duh... That's for sure.

442
00:19:54,339 --> 00:19:55,507
Quiet, Jimmy.

443
00:19:55,966 --> 00:19:58,719
Well, I'm glad we got all that out
in the open.

444
00:19:58,802 --> 00:20:00,345
We'll just let ourselves out.

445
00:20:00,429 --> 00:20:02,931
Silence! You all know too much.

446
00:20:03,015 --> 00:20:07,436
Elders, execute function
control-shift-kill.

447
00:20:10,814 --> 00:20:11,940
Stop!

448
00:20:12,191 --> 00:20:14,818
Take one more step
and I'll breathe fire on you!

449
00:20:16,195 --> 00:20:17,988
He'll do it. He's crazy.

450
00:20:18,488 --> 00:20:20,824
Can they really breathe fire
or did we make that up?

451
00:20:20,908 --> 00:20:23,076
Gee, I can't remember anymore.

452
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,454
It might just be from that stupid movie.

453
00:20:25,537 --> 00:20:27,497
ELDER 1: Was that original or the remake?

454
00:20:27,581 --> 00:20:29,958
I don't... Hey! They're getting away!

455
00:20:30,459 --> 00:20:32,628
(PANTING)

456
00:20:39,718 --> 00:20:40,719
Yep.

457
00:20:40,802 --> 00:20:42,137
So long, suckers.

458
00:20:43,096 --> 00:20:44,932
Uh... Hello, suckers.

459
00:20:46,683 --> 00:20:49,561
Hey, hold on a second.
I forgot to deliver the package.

460
00:20:49,645 --> 00:20:51,396
ALL: Whoa!

461
00:20:53,357 --> 00:20:55,567
(GROANS AND GRUNTS)

462
00:20:59,863 --> 00:21:03,283
Lug nuts! Precious lug nuts!

463
00:21:03,367 --> 00:21:05,619
Hooray for the humans!

464
00:21:07,788 --> 00:21:10,832
Wow, I can't believe
you guys did all this for me.

465
00:21:11,166 --> 00:21:13,377
This is the best Robanukah ever.

466
00:21:13,585 --> 00:21:17,089
We wanted to show you that
we really do respect your robot heritage.

467
00:21:17,297 --> 00:21:19,341
Aw, thanks.

468
00:21:19,841 --> 00:21:22,844
You do know that I made Robanukah up
to get out of work, right?

469
00:21:22,928 --> 00:21:24,221
Of course.

470
00:21:24,304 --> 00:21:26,598
But that doesn't make it
any less meaningful.

471
00:21:26,807 --> 00:21:28,058
In that case...

472
00:21:28,225 --> 00:21:30,561
Let the dancing begin!

473
00:21:31,019 --> 00:21:32,563
(MUSIC PLAYING)

474
00:21:38,652 --> 00:21:40,070
Hey, you guys are good.

475
00:21:40,737 --> 00:21:42,239
How the hell do you do that?

476
00:21:42,698 --> 00:21:44,825
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

477
00:21:54,793 --> 00:21:56,962
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)