1
00:00:02,344 --> 00:00:03,971
FARNSWORTH: Good news, everyone.

2
00:00:04,054 --> 00:00:08,725
Tomorrow, you'll be making a delivery
to Ebola 9, the virus planet.

3
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:10,102
Why can't they go today?

4
00:00:10,185 --> 00:00:14,565
Because tonight's a special night
and I want all of you to be alive.

5
00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:17,693
It's the Academy of Inventors'
annual symposium.

6
00:00:17,776 --> 00:00:19,695
Wow. I love symposia.

7
00:00:19,778 --> 00:00:22,406
It's the event of the scientific season.

8
00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:27,578
Every member presents an invention
and the best one wins the Academy prize.

9
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:28,704
Sounds boring.

10
00:00:28,787 --> 00:00:31,331
Oh, my, yes, but not this year

11
00:00:31,415 --> 00:00:34,334
because my latest invention is unbeatable.

12
00:00:34,418 --> 00:00:35,460
Behold,

13
00:00:35,544 --> 00:00:37,254
the death clock.

14
00:00:37,337 --> 00:00:39,423
Simply jam your finger in the hole

15
00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:43,385
and this readout tells you
exactly how long you have left to live.

16
00:00:43,468 --> 00:00:44,720
Does it really work?

17
00:00:44,803 --> 00:00:47,681
Well, it's occasionally off
by a few seconds,

18
00:00:47,764 --> 00:00:49,558
what with free will and all.

19
00:00:49,641 --> 00:00:50,642
Sounds like fun.

20
00:00:50,726 --> 00:00:52,185
How long do I have to live?

21
00:00:52,769 --> 00:00:54,021
(BELL DINGS)

22
00:00:54,104 --> 00:00:55,147
(WHISTLES)

23
00:00:55,230 --> 00:00:57,274
Ooh, dibs on his CD player!

24
00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:00,527
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

25
00:01:34,686 --> 00:01:36,230
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

26
00:01:37,439 --> 00:01:38,899
Who's the gross nerd?

27
00:01:38,982 --> 00:01:41,485
That's me, at the very first symposium.

28
00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:44,321
I'm the Academy's
oldest living member, you know.

29
00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:46,531
These youngsters all look up to me.

30
00:01:46,615 --> 00:01:48,158
MAN: Well, well, well.

31
00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:51,078
Look who decided
to show his wrinkled face.

32
00:01:51,161 --> 00:01:53,789
Why don't you
just leave me alone, Wernstrom?

33
00:01:53,872 --> 00:01:56,333
Face it, Farnsworth, you're over the hill.

34
00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:59,169
It's time to leave science
to the 120-year-olds.

35
00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:01,880
You young turks think you know everything.

36
00:02:01,964 --> 00:02:04,967
I was inventing things
when you were barely turning senile.

37
00:02:05,050 --> 00:02:06,051
(LAUGHS)

38
00:02:06,134 --> 00:02:09,555
Go home before
you embarrass yourself, old man.

39
00:02:09,638 --> 00:02:10,889
Now, if you'll excuse me,

40
00:02:10,973 --> 00:02:13,267
I'm going to take a nap
before the ceremonies.

41
00:02:14,518 --> 00:02:15,727
Who's that jerk?

42
00:02:15,811 --> 00:02:17,145
A hundred years ago,

43
00:02:17,229 --> 00:02:21,066
he was my most promising student
at Mars University,

44
00:02:21,149 --> 00:02:24,194
but then, after one fateful pop quiz...

45
00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:27,155
A-minus?

46
00:02:27,239 --> 00:02:29,866
No one gives Ogden Wernstrom an A-minus.

47
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:32,578
I'm sorry, but penmanship counts.

48
00:02:32,661 --> 00:02:36,498
I swear I'll have my revenge
if it takes me a hundred years.

49
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:39,209
And here it is

50
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:43,005
Slightly over 99 years later
and still no revenge.

51
00:02:43,088 --> 00:02:44,923
I'm essentially in the clear.

52
00:02:45,007 --> 00:02:46,884
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

53
00:02:48,719 --> 00:02:51,722
I've been perusing
your fortified wine list

54
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:55,058
and I've selected the '71 Hobo's Delight,

55
00:02:55,142 --> 00:03:00,147
the '57 Chateau Part-ay
and the '66 Thunder-Schewitz.

56
00:03:00,230 --> 00:03:02,691
Exquisite choices, sir.

57
00:03:02,774 --> 00:03:06,570
And mix them all together in a big jug.

58
00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:09,448
Welcome to this year's Academy symposium.

59
00:03:09,531 --> 00:03:11,199
I'm your host, Ron Popeil,

60
00:03:11,283 --> 00:03:14,620
inventor of Mr. Microphone,
the spray-on toupee

61
00:03:14,703 --> 00:03:18,498
and, of course, the technology
to keep human heads alive in jars.

62
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,545
But wait, there's more!

63
00:03:23,629 --> 00:03:26,048
We've got a whole lineup
of inventors tonight,

64
00:03:26,131 --> 00:03:28,467
starting with
that up-and-coming young star,

65
00:03:28,550 --> 00:03:29,927
Ogden Wernstrom.

66
00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:32,262
Boo!

67
00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:33,513
More wine!

68
00:03:33,597 --> 00:03:35,682
Distinguished members of the Academy,

69
00:03:35,766 --> 00:03:38,518
I present to you the reverse scuba suit.

70
00:03:38,602 --> 00:03:39,603
Observe.

71
00:03:39,937 --> 00:03:40,938
Fetch.

72
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:54,952
Now sit.

73
00:03:55,827 --> 00:03:56,995
I said sit!

74
00:03:57,079 --> 00:03:58,163
Bad fish!

75
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,792
(APPLAUSE)

76
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:04,002
- Oh...
- Don't worry, Professor.

77
00:04:04,086 --> 00:04:06,546
It's no competition for your death clock.

78
00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:09,591
And what will you be presenting
this evening, Grandpa?

79
00:04:09,675 --> 00:04:13,679
Let's just say it'll put
you young whippersnappers in your place.

80
00:04:13,762 --> 00:04:15,055
I just hope it's not as lame

81
00:04:15,138 --> 00:04:17,307
as that death clock
you presented last year.

82
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:19,935
- Eh, "last year," you say?
- That's right.

83
00:04:20,018 --> 00:04:21,270
Oh, my.

84
00:04:21,353 --> 00:04:24,147
Did it put you young whippersnappers
in your place?

85
00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:25,232
Hardly.

86
00:04:25,315 --> 00:04:27,234
We laughed until our teeth fell out.

87
00:04:27,317 --> 00:04:28,735
Come along, Cinnamon.

88
00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:31,321
Oh, dear.

89
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:34,449
I'll have to invent something new
in the next 10 minutes,

90
00:04:34,533 --> 00:04:37,160
perhaps some sort of death clock.

91
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:39,079
Uh, professor?

92
00:04:39,705 --> 00:04:41,498
(ENGINE REVVING)

93
00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:43,333
(BLADES WHIRRING)

94
00:04:45,669 --> 00:04:47,421
(MURMURING)

95
00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:51,717
Our last presentation
comes from our oldest member,

96
00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:53,385
Professor Hubert Farnsworth.

97
00:04:53,969 --> 00:04:55,053
Professor?

98
00:04:55,137 --> 00:04:58,015
Uh... Just a second. Just a second.

99
00:04:58,098 --> 00:05:00,017
Pencils down, prune face.

100
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,226
(GRUMBLES)

101
00:05:02,185 --> 00:05:05,314
(NERVOUSLY) Oh, yes, here I am.
Okay, now. Hello there.

102
00:05:05,397 --> 00:05:09,902
Now, we all know telescopes
allow us to see distant objects,

103
00:05:09,985 --> 00:05:13,196
but what if we want
to smell distant objects?

104
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,032
Well, now we can,

105
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,492
thanks to my new invention,

106
00:05:17,576 --> 00:05:19,286
the Smelloscope.

107
00:05:19,369 --> 00:05:21,705
(EXCITED MURMURING)

108
00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:25,125
The odor travels past
this coffee stain here,

109
00:05:25,208 --> 00:05:29,129
around the olive pit
and into this cigar burn.

110
00:05:29,212 --> 00:05:31,840
And this appears to be a... a...

111
00:05:31,924 --> 00:05:34,218
doodle of myself as a cowboy.

112
00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:36,136
(ALL LAUGHING)

113
00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:39,097
But the Smelloscope
is brilliant, I tell you!

114
00:05:39,181 --> 00:05:42,392
Think of the astronomical odors
you'll smell, thanks to me!

115
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,394
(JEERING LAUGHTER)

116
00:05:47,022 --> 00:05:48,023
Oh, my.

117
00:05:49,066 --> 00:05:51,193
(ALL LAUGHING)

118
00:05:52,361 --> 00:05:55,197
I've waited a hundred years
for this, Farnsworth.

119
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:58,742
I give your invention
the worst grade imaginable,

120
00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:02,079
an A-minus-minus!

121
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,872
(ALL LAUGHING)

122
00:06:07,042 --> 00:06:09,253
And now for the presentation of the award.

123
00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:12,506
Listen, folks,
I'm practically giving this prize away

124
00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:15,551
to Dr. Wernstrom for his fish thingy.

125
00:06:15,634 --> 00:06:17,010
(APPLAUSE)

126
00:06:19,221 --> 00:06:20,681
(SAD MUSIC PLAYING)

127
00:06:21,306 --> 00:06:22,516
(SNIFFLES)

128
00:06:24,893 --> 00:06:26,144
(SIGHS)

129
00:06:26,228 --> 00:06:31,316
Perhaps 149 is just too old
to be a scientist.

130
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,111
- Yep.
- No, Professor. Don't give up.

131
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,196
There were plenty of times in my century

132
00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:39,616
when I was gonna give up,
but I never did. Never.

133
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:41,410
Hey, are you even listening to me?

134
00:06:41,493 --> 00:06:42,786
Oh, I give up.

135
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:45,038
By God, you're right!

136
00:06:45,122 --> 00:06:48,041
I'm going to build that Smelloscope.

137
00:06:50,294 --> 00:06:51,795
FARNSWORTH: Eureka!

138
00:06:52,462 --> 00:06:53,964
FRY: Did you build the Smelloscope?

139
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:57,593
No. I remembered
that I built one last year.

140
00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,553
Go ahead, try it.

141
00:07:00,262 --> 00:07:04,474
You'll find that every heavenly body
has its own particular scent.

142
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:06,894
Here, I'll point it at Jupiter.

143
00:07:10,022 --> 00:07:11,273
(SNIFFING)

144
00:07:11,356 --> 00:07:12,816
Smells like strawberries.

145
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,151
Exactly.

146
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:15,694
And now Saturn.

147
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:17,738
(SNIFFING)

148
00:07:17,821 --> 00:07:19,072
Pine needles.

149
00:07:19,156 --> 00:07:20,490
Oh, man, this is great.

150
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,868
As long as you don't make me smell Uranus.

151
00:07:22,951 --> 00:07:25,078
- (LAUGHING)
- I don't get it.

152
00:07:25,162 --> 00:07:26,455
I'm sorry, Fry,

153
00:07:26,538 --> 00:07:29,750
but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620

154
00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:32,336
to end that stupid joke once and for all.

155
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:34,129
Oh. What's it called now?

156
00:07:34,212 --> 00:07:35,422
Urectum.

157
00:07:35,505 --> 00:07:38,216
- Here, let me locate it for you.
- How about... (LAUGHS)

158
00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:41,887
No, no, I think I'll just
smell around a bit over here.

159
00:07:42,512 --> 00:07:44,014
(SNIFFING) Hmm.

160
00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:45,974
(SNIFFING) Hmm.

161
00:07:46,475 --> 00:07:47,726
(SNIFFING)

162
00:07:47,809 --> 00:07:49,937
(RETCHING)

163
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,273
What is it? (SNIFFING)

164
00:07:53,357 --> 00:07:55,150
Oh, jeez, oh, man!

165
00:07:55,234 --> 00:07:56,443
Remarkable!

166
00:07:56,526 --> 00:08:00,113
A stench so foul,
it's right off the funk-o-meter.

167
00:08:00,197 --> 00:08:02,741
I daresay, Fry may have discovered

168
00:08:02,824 --> 00:08:05,661
the smelliest object
in the known universe.

169
00:08:05,744 --> 00:08:07,996
Ooh, ooh, name it after me!

170
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,289
(SNIFFING)

171
00:08:09,373 --> 00:08:10,916
I think it's moving.

172
00:08:10,999 --> 00:08:15,337
Hmm. Perhaps the computer
can calculate its trajectory.

173
00:08:15,420 --> 00:08:16,755
My God!

174
00:08:16,838 --> 00:08:19,216
Whatever it is,
it's headed straight for us

175
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:23,762
with enough force to reduce
this entire city to a stinky crater!

176
00:08:23,845 --> 00:08:26,306
We have less than 72 hours.

177
00:08:26,390 --> 00:08:27,975
(ALL GASPING)

178
00:08:28,058 --> 00:08:29,560
Well, let's get lootin'.

179
00:08:31,019 --> 00:08:33,105
(WHISTLING TUNE)

180
00:08:35,941 --> 00:08:38,986
So this thing's gonna
destroy the whole city?

181
00:08:39,528 --> 00:08:40,571
What the heck is it?

182
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:44,199
Ah, just as I thought.

183
00:08:44,283 --> 00:08:48,036
The answer lies in this movie
I found on the Internet.

184
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,955
(DRAMATIC SYNTH MUSIC PLAYING)

185
00:08:50,956 --> 00:08:53,875
NARRATOR: New York City, the year 2000.

186
00:08:53,959 --> 00:08:57,254
The most wasteful society
in the history of the galaxy,

187
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,298
and it was running out of places

188
00:08:59,381 --> 00:09:02,759
to bury its never-ending
output of garbage.

189
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:04,845
The landfills were full.

190
00:09:04,928 --> 00:09:06,889
New Jersey was full.

191
00:09:06,972 --> 00:09:09,099
And so, under cover of darkness,

192
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:13,687
the city put its garbage out to sea
on the world's largest barge.

193
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,273
(WHISTLING TUNE)

194
00:09:18,734 --> 00:09:22,321
The repulsive barge
circledthe oceans for 50 years

195
00:09:22,404 --> 00:09:24,114
but no country would accept it,

196
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:26,909
not even that really filthy one.

197
00:09:26,992 --> 00:09:28,952
You know the one I mean.

198
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:34,333
Finally, in 2052, the cityused
its mob connections to obtain a rocket

199
00:09:34,416 --> 00:09:37,628
and launch the garbage Into outer space.

200
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:41,256
Some experts claim the ball
might return to Earth someday,

201
00:09:41,340 --> 00:09:45,093
but their concerns were dismissed
as "depressing."

202
00:09:45,177 --> 00:09:47,221
Wow, you got that off the Internet?

203
00:09:47,304 --> 00:09:50,599
In my day, the Internet was only used
to download pornography.

204
00:09:50,682 --> 00:09:53,018
Actually, that's still true.

205
00:09:53,101 --> 00:09:56,396
Now that the garbage is in space, doctor,

206
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:59,900
perhaps you can help me
with my sexual inhibitions.

207
00:09:59,983 --> 00:10:01,318
With gusto.

208
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,403
(DRAMATIC SYNTH MUSIC PLAYING)

209
00:10:04,947 --> 00:10:06,198
- (REMOTE CLICKS)
- Aw.

210
00:10:06,281 --> 00:10:07,991
So that's the situation.

211
00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:10,619
Due to the shortsightedness
of Old New York,

212
00:10:10,702 --> 00:10:15,249
New New York is going to be destroyed
by a giant ball of garbage.

213
00:10:15,332 --> 00:10:18,460
Fry, what the hell
were you people thinking back then?

214
00:10:18,543 --> 00:10:20,754
How could you just
throw your garbage away?

215
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,297
Hey, hey, give me a break.

216
00:10:22,381 --> 00:10:23,715
What do you do with it?

217
00:10:23,799 --> 00:10:25,467
We recycle everything.

218
00:10:25,551 --> 00:10:27,928
Robots are made from old beer cans.

219
00:10:28,011 --> 00:10:31,014
Yeah, and this beer can
is made out of old robots.

220
00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:34,560
And that sandwich you're eating
is made from old discarded sandwiches.

221
00:10:34,643 --> 00:10:36,895
Nothing just gets thrown away.

222
00:10:36,979 --> 00:10:39,064
The future is disgusting.

223
00:10:39,147 --> 00:10:41,483
Typical 20th-century attitude.

224
00:10:41,567 --> 00:10:44,611
Hey, you have no right
to criticize the 20th century.

225
00:10:44,695 --> 00:10:48,365
We gave the world the light bulb,
the steamboat, and the cotton gin.

226
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:51,034
Those things are all
from the 19th century.

227
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:53,787
Yeah, well, they probably just copied us.

228
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:56,248
Please, there's no time for this now.

229
00:10:56,331 --> 00:10:57,916
This is an emergency.

230
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,710
We must warn the mayor.

231
00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:03,422
Garbage ball, huh? That sounds serious.

232
00:11:03,505 --> 00:11:05,924
Very serious, Mayor Poopenmeyer.

233
00:11:06,008 --> 00:11:08,427
I gotta sure this isn't
another scientific fraud

234
00:11:08,510 --> 00:11:10,721
like global warming or secondhand smoke.

235
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:13,140
- (INTERCOM BUZZES)
- Send in my science advisor.

236
00:11:14,725 --> 00:11:15,767
Wernstrom!

237
00:11:15,851 --> 00:11:16,977
Well, well, well.

238
00:11:17,060 --> 00:11:19,396
Come to present
your latest napkin, Professor?

239
00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:24,276
No, I'm here because a giant trash ball
is heading straight for us.

240
00:11:24,359 --> 00:11:25,944
Smell for yourself.

241
00:11:27,779 --> 00:11:28,906
(SQUEAKING)

242
00:11:29,907 --> 00:11:31,116
(SNIFFS, YELPS)

243
00:11:31,199 --> 00:11:32,910
Holy... Gee!

244
00:11:33,452 --> 00:11:35,579
That smell could be anything.

245
00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:39,041
A faulty stench coil,
some cheese on the lens, who knows?

246
00:11:39,124 --> 00:11:42,794
(PANTING) Mr. Mayor, we just got
this transmission from Neptune.

247
00:11:43,712 --> 00:11:47,799
MAN: (GAGGING)
Giant garbage ballpassed close by.

248
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:51,470
Horrible stench! (RETCHING)

249
00:11:55,265 --> 00:11:57,351
The transmission cuts out there, sir.

250
00:11:57,434 --> 00:11:59,269
(RETCHING CONTINUES)

251
00:11:59,353 --> 00:12:02,189
- (MAN COUGHS)
- No, I guess it keeps going.

252
00:12:03,357 --> 00:12:05,692
(GAGGING AND RETCHING)

253
00:12:06,568 --> 00:12:08,153
- (STATIC HISSES)
- There we go.

254
00:12:08,237 --> 00:12:11,156
My God! The senile old man is right!

255
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,366
Do you mean him or me?

256
00:12:12,449 --> 00:12:13,909
- Him.
- Oh.

257
00:12:13,992 --> 00:12:15,410
(INDISTINCT MURMURING)

258
00:12:17,371 --> 00:12:19,706
Next, New New York in crisis.

259
00:12:19,790 --> 00:12:22,042
- Morbo?
- Thanks, human female.

260
00:12:22,125 --> 00:12:24,294
Puny Earthlings were shocked today

261
00:12:24,378 --> 00:12:26,588
to learn that a ball of garbage
will destroy

262
00:12:26,672 --> 00:12:28,632
their pathetic city of New New York.

263
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:31,176
Makes me glad we live here in Los Angeles.

264
00:12:31,260 --> 00:12:32,761
Morbo agrees.

265
00:12:32,844 --> 00:12:34,638
(BOTH LAUGHING)

266
00:12:36,807 --> 00:12:38,809
Can't we just shoot a missile at it?

267
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:41,353
We've simulated that on a supercomputer,

268
00:12:41,436 --> 00:12:43,522
but the ball is just too damn gooey.

269
00:12:43,605 --> 00:12:45,566
A missile would go right through it.

270
00:12:45,649 --> 00:12:47,526
(SQUISHING, SMASHING)

271
00:12:47,609 --> 00:12:50,904
But suppose we sent a crew
to plant an explosive

272
00:12:50,988 --> 00:12:52,614
precisely on the fault line

273
00:12:52,698 --> 00:12:54,700
between this mass of coffee grounds

274
00:12:54,783 --> 00:12:57,953
and this deposit
of America Online floppy disks.

275
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:02,207
In theory, it could work.

276
00:13:02,291 --> 00:13:04,251
Uh, in theory, perhaps,

277
00:13:04,334 --> 00:13:08,171
but you'll never find a crew willing to
take on a mission so suicidally dangerous.

278
00:13:10,007 --> 00:13:11,383
Ah, crap.

279
00:13:11,967 --> 00:13:15,178
FARNSWORTH: Now, you'll only have
one chance to destroy the ball.

280
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:18,432
After that, it will be so close to Earth
that blowing it up

281
00:13:18,515 --> 00:13:21,894
would cause garbage to rain
over the entire planet,

282
00:13:21,977 --> 00:13:23,520
killing billions.

283
00:13:23,604 --> 00:13:24,897
Aw, boo-hoo.

284
00:13:24,980 --> 00:13:27,107
Now here's the bomb I've prepared.

285
00:13:27,190 --> 00:13:30,569
Once you activate it,
you'll have 25 minutes to get away.

286
00:13:30,652 --> 00:13:31,904
That's all? But...

287
00:13:31,987 --> 00:13:32,988
Now, now.

288
00:13:33,071 --> 00:13:35,449
There'll be plenty of time
to discuss your objections

289
00:13:35,532 --> 00:13:36,909
when and if you return.

290
00:13:36,992 --> 00:13:39,161
(DRAMATIC HEROIC MUSIC PLAYING)

291
00:13:49,713 --> 00:13:51,089
Odor at magnitude 8.

292
00:13:51,173 --> 00:13:52,549
(ALL GAGGING)

293
00:13:52,633 --> 00:13:54,927
- Magnitude 12.
- (GAGGING AND RETCHING)

294
00:13:55,010 --> 00:13:57,638
- Magnitude 31.
- (GROANING)

295
00:13:57,721 --> 00:14:00,682
We're breaking up.
Turn on the anti-smell device.

296
00:14:01,350 --> 00:14:02,726
(HISSING)

297
00:14:03,852 --> 00:14:05,437
FRY: Hmm, sporty.

298
00:14:07,689 --> 00:14:08,690
(SQUISHING)

299
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,693
Wow!

300
00:14:11,777 --> 00:14:13,612
LEELA: Look at all this filth.

301
00:14:13,695 --> 00:14:15,113
FRY: It's not filth.

302
00:14:15,197 --> 00:14:19,034
It's a glorious monument
to the achievements of the 20th century.

303
00:14:19,117 --> 00:14:20,953
Look, a real Beanie Baby.

304
00:14:21,078 --> 00:14:23,622
Oh, a Mr. Spock collectors' plate.

305
00:14:23,705 --> 00:14:24,915
- (GASPS)
- (PLATE SMASHES)

306
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,625
Some Bart Simpson dolls.

307
00:14:29,419 --> 00:14:30,545
BART: Eat my shorts.

308
00:14:30,629 --> 00:14:31,797
Okay.

309
00:14:32,506 --> 00:14:34,591
Mmm, shorts.

310
00:14:34,675 --> 00:14:37,219
Fry, this stuff
was garbage when it was new.

311
00:14:37,302 --> 00:14:38,720
Let's blow it up already.

312
00:14:38,804 --> 00:14:40,389
This junk isn't garbage.

313
00:14:40,472 --> 00:14:43,642
I can dig in any random pile
and find something great.

314
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,313
(CHOKING)

315
00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:53,485
(GASPING)

316
00:14:53,569 --> 00:14:55,821
All right, let's get to work.

317
00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:02,911
Let's see.

318
00:15:02,995 --> 00:15:07,082
If that's hypodermic ridge,
then the bomb must go right here.

319
00:15:11,169 --> 00:15:12,170
Get ready to run.

320
00:15:12,254 --> 00:15:13,463
We've got 25 minutes.

321
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:15,841
Uh, 15 minutes.

322
00:15:16,925 --> 00:15:18,218
Five minutes.

323
00:15:18,302 --> 00:15:19,595
Six-h minutes?

324
00:15:20,679 --> 00:15:21,847
BENDER: Hmm.

325
00:15:23,307 --> 00:15:24,808
There's your problem.

326
00:15:24,892 --> 00:15:28,020
The professor put
the counter on upside down.

327
00:15:28,103 --> 00:15:29,187
That idiot.

328
00:15:29,271 --> 00:15:31,023
It wasn't set for 25 minutes.

329
00:15:31,106 --> 00:15:33,025
It was set for 52 seconds.

330
00:15:33,108 --> 00:15:35,611
Ahhh! We're gonna die!

331
00:15:35,694 --> 00:15:36,945
- Right?
- Right.

332
00:15:37,029 --> 00:15:38,196
Ahhh!

333
00:15:43,994 --> 00:15:46,288
(WHIMPERS) It's gonna blow!

334
00:15:46,955 --> 00:15:49,207
(BOTH YELPING)

335
00:15:49,291 --> 00:15:51,835
Hey, watch it!
You'll put somebody's eye out!

336
00:15:51,919 --> 00:15:54,296
Okay, okay, keep your space pants on.

337
00:15:54,379 --> 00:15:55,756
I'll take care of this.

338
00:15:55,839 --> 00:15:57,007
(GRUNTS)

339
00:15:57,966 --> 00:15:59,801
- (CLUNK)
- (BENDER YELPING)

340
00:16:02,804 --> 00:16:04,264
(ALL SIGH IN RELIEF)

341
00:16:04,348 --> 00:16:05,557
We're saved.

342
00:16:05,641 --> 00:16:08,393
Yeah, but this garbage ball's
unstoppable now.

343
00:16:08,477 --> 00:16:10,270
New New York is done for.

344
00:16:12,522 --> 00:16:14,524
(CROWD JEERING)

345
00:16:15,901 --> 00:16:20,155
All in all, this is one day
Mittens the kitten won't soon forget.

346
00:16:20,239 --> 00:16:21,323
(CHUCKLING)

347
00:16:21,406 --> 00:16:22,616
(CHUCKLING)

348
00:16:22,699 --> 00:16:24,952
Kittens give Morbo gas.

349
00:16:25,035 --> 00:16:28,538
In lighter news,
the city of New New York is doomed.

350
00:16:28,622 --> 00:16:32,125
Blame rests with known human
Professor Hubert Farnsworth

351
00:16:32,209 --> 00:16:34,795
and his tiny inferior brain.

352
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:39,925
Aw! How could I have put
that bomb timer on upside down?

353
00:16:40,008 --> 00:16:43,303
I could swear I followed
the manual precisely.

354
00:16:43,387 --> 00:16:46,139
I'm a dried-up husk of a scientist.

355
00:16:46,223 --> 00:16:48,183
This is all my fault.

356
00:16:48,267 --> 00:16:50,435
No, it's my fault, too.

357
00:16:50,519 --> 00:16:54,022
I'm sure I threw out
more than my share of that trash up there.

358
00:16:54,106 --> 00:16:55,941
Also, one month, my toilet broke

359
00:16:56,024 --> 00:16:57,943
and I just went straight
in the garbage can.

360
00:16:58,026 --> 00:16:59,486
(GROANS)

361
00:16:59,570 --> 00:17:00,821
Leela was right.

362
00:17:00,904 --> 00:17:04,283
The people of the 20th century
were idiotic slobs.

363
00:17:04,366 --> 00:17:05,617
Especially me.

364
00:17:05,701 --> 00:17:07,786
Enough. You all failed miserably.

365
00:17:07,869 --> 00:17:09,788
It's time to put
a real scientist in charge.

366
00:17:11,623 --> 00:17:13,875
- Wernstrom!
- The very same.

367
00:17:13,959 --> 00:17:16,295
Dr. Wernstrom, can you save my city?

368
00:17:16,378 --> 00:17:18,422
Of course, but it'll cost you.

369
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:20,465
- First, I'll need tenure.
- Done.

370
00:17:20,549 --> 00:17:22,676
- And a big research grant.
- You got it.

371
00:17:22,759 --> 00:17:25,345
Also access to a lab
and five graduate students,

372
00:17:25,429 --> 00:17:27,014
at least three of them Chinese.

373
00:17:27,097 --> 00:17:29,641
(HESITATES) All right. All right, done.

374
00:17:29,725 --> 00:17:31,560
- What's your plan?
- What plan?

375
00:17:31,643 --> 00:17:33,186
I'm set for life.

376
00:17:33,729 --> 00:17:35,188
Au revoir, suckers.

377
00:17:35,814 --> 00:17:37,983
That rat. Do something.

378
00:17:38,066 --> 00:17:40,277
I wish I could, but he's got tenure.

379
00:17:40,986 --> 00:17:42,988
(ALL GROANING)

380
00:17:49,077 --> 00:17:50,913
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

381
00:17:52,706 --> 00:17:54,541
Hmm? (SLURPING)

382
00:17:56,585 --> 00:17:58,837
- It's time to take action.
- (INTERCOM BUZZES)

383
00:17:58,921 --> 00:18:02,257
Stephanie, cancel the maid for today.
Have her come tomorrow.

384
00:18:02,341 --> 00:18:04,301
Well, I'm out of ideas.

385
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:05,385
Anyone?

386
00:18:05,469 --> 00:18:06,553
Wait.

387
00:18:06,637 --> 00:18:08,305
If we could build an object

388
00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:12,267
the exact size, density,
and consistency of the garbage ball,

389
00:18:12,351 --> 00:18:15,812
it might just knock the ball away
without smashing it to bits.

390
00:18:16,688 --> 00:18:18,357
But where can we find a substance

391
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,401
the exact density
and consistency as garbage?

392
00:18:21,485 --> 00:18:23,654
Alas, I don't know.

393
00:18:23,737 --> 00:18:25,656
Uh, what about garbage?

394
00:18:25,739 --> 00:18:26,990
Good Lord!

395
00:18:27,074 --> 00:18:30,494
A second ball of garbage.
That just might work.

396
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:34,081
But garbage isn't something you just find
lying in the streets of Manhattan.

397
00:18:34,164 --> 00:18:36,625
This city's been garbage-free
for 500 years.

398
00:18:36,708 --> 00:18:38,585
Well, then it's time to make some more.

399
00:18:38,669 --> 00:18:41,255
Make garbage? But how?

400
00:18:41,338 --> 00:18:44,216
Stand back and watch the master.

401
00:18:44,299 --> 00:18:45,801
This Slurm can?

402
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:47,803
Now it's garbage.

403
00:18:47,886 --> 00:18:49,012
These papers?

404
00:18:49,638 --> 00:18:51,598
Garbage.
This picture of your wife?

405
00:18:52,683 --> 00:18:55,310
Pure garbage. Now you try it.

406
00:19:00,524 --> 00:19:03,068
By God, I think the boy's got something.

407
00:19:03,151 --> 00:19:05,737
Come on, everyone.
The fate of the city's at stake.

408
00:19:06,405 --> 00:19:07,406
FRY: Good.

409
00:19:07,489 --> 00:19:09,616
Don't finish that cruller. Throw it away.

410
00:19:09,700 --> 00:19:12,619
Bender, drink that beer
and drop the bottle on the ground.

411
00:19:12,703 --> 00:19:13,870
- (SMASHES)
- Very nice.

412
00:19:13,954 --> 00:19:15,622
Get that robot some more beer.

413
00:19:15,706 --> 00:19:16,748
Hmm?

414
00:19:16,832 --> 00:19:18,959
We've trashed this room
but that's just a start.

415
00:19:19,042 --> 00:19:21,587
We've got to get Fry's message
to the people.

416
00:19:22,504 --> 00:19:26,758
People of New New York,
take a lesson from the 20th century,

417
00:19:26,842 --> 00:19:31,638
stop all this pain-in-the-ass recycling
and throw your garbage on the floor.

418
00:19:31,722 --> 00:19:34,850
Go ahead, just chuck it
any old place like I used to.

419
00:19:34,933 --> 00:19:36,685
Your city is counting on you.

420
00:19:36,768 --> 00:19:38,896
(UPTEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)

421
00:19:48,906 --> 00:19:50,866
FARNSWORTH:
If my calculations are correct,

422
00:19:50,949 --> 00:19:53,702
this garbage ball will knock
the other garbage ball

423
00:19:53,785 --> 00:19:55,454
directly into the sun.

424
00:19:55,537 --> 00:19:57,497
And if my calculations are correct,

425
00:19:57,581 --> 00:19:59,708
we're all going to die horribly.

426
00:19:59,791 --> 00:20:01,460
Ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha!

427
00:20:01,543 --> 00:20:02,544
Ha...

428
00:20:02,628 --> 00:20:04,212
All right, places, everyone.

429
00:20:04,296 --> 00:20:05,923
Prepare for launch.

430
00:20:06,006 --> 00:20:10,344
Five, four, three, two...

431
00:20:10,886 --> 00:20:14,473
Three, four, five, six...

432
00:20:14,556 --> 00:20:16,600
Just fire the damn thing.

433
00:20:18,435 --> 00:20:19,478
FRY: Oops.

434
00:20:25,067 --> 00:20:26,568
(HEROIC MUSIC PLAYING)

435
00:20:32,658 --> 00:20:34,660
(HEART BEATING LOUDLY)

436
00:20:35,619 --> 00:20:36,828
(ONE HEARTBEAT)

437
00:20:36,912 --> 00:20:38,872
(DRUM BEATING)

438
00:20:40,457 --> 00:20:41,959
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

439
00:20:51,218 --> 00:20:53,971
(SNIFFING) Burning garbage.

440
00:20:54,054 --> 00:20:55,180
It worked!

441
00:20:55,264 --> 00:20:57,015
(CHEERING)

442
00:20:58,225 --> 00:21:01,019
And so, on behalf of the entire city,

443
00:21:01,103 --> 00:21:03,272
I thank you, Professor Farnsworth.

444
00:21:03,355 --> 00:21:07,651
I now present you with the Academy prize
which we confiscated from Dr. Wernstrom

445
00:21:07,734 --> 00:21:10,195
after it became apparent
that he was a jackass.

446
00:21:10,279 --> 00:21:11,822
(APPLAUSE)

447
00:21:11,905 --> 00:21:14,825
Yes! In your face, Wernstrom!

448
00:21:14,908 --> 00:21:18,370
I'll get you, Farnsworth,
even if it takes another hundred years.

449
00:21:18,453 --> 00:21:19,788
(ANGRY GRUNTS)

450
00:21:19,871 --> 00:21:23,125
And, Fry, we owe you
a tremendous debt as well.

451
00:21:23,208 --> 00:21:26,169
Were it not for
your 20th-century garbage-making skills,

452
00:21:26,253 --> 00:21:29,423
we'd all be buried
under 20th-century garbage.

453
00:21:29,506 --> 00:21:31,008
(APPLAUSE)

454
00:21:31,884 --> 00:21:33,510
Should we really be celebrating?

455
00:21:33,594 --> 00:21:37,598
I mean, what if this second garbage ball
returns to Earth like the first one did?

456
00:21:37,681 --> 00:21:40,809
Well, who cares?
That won't be for hundreds of years.

457
00:21:40,893 --> 00:21:44,021
Exactly. It's none of our concern.

458
00:21:44,104 --> 00:21:46,648
That's the 20th-century spirit.

459
00:21:46,732 --> 00:21:48,901
(CROWD CHEERING)

460
00:21:54,156 --> 00:21:59,244
(OLD TIMEY MUSIC PLAYING)
We'll meet again

461
00:21:59,828 --> 00:22:02,331
Don't know where

462
00:22:02,414 --> 00:22:05,375
And I don't know when

463
00:22:05,459 --> 00:22:10,923
But I know we'll meet again

464
00:22:11,006 --> 00:22:15,385
Some sunny day

465
00:22:17,471 --> 00:22:24,019
Oh, keep smiling through