1
00:00:04,410 --> 00:00:07,322
- Nope. Watching cartoons.
- Sorry.

2
00:00:07,730 --> 00:00:08,799
What's the mission?

3
00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:11,888
A delivery for the Democratic
Order of Planets.

4
00:00:12,090 --> 00:00:13,125
What's that?

5
00:00:13,330 --> 00:00:17,243
It's like the United Nations
from your time, Fry.

6
00:00:17,570 --> 00:00:21,324
Or like the Federation
from <i>Star Trek.</i>

7
00:00:21,610 --> 00:00:24,841
Tonight's the ribbon cutting
for DOOP's new base.

8
00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:29,328
- What are we delivering?
- Something necessary to the ceremony.

9
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:34,684
- The oversized scissors.
- We'll deliver them as fast as we can.

10
00:00:34,890 --> 00:00:36,926
Okay. But don't run with them!

11
00:00:44,090 --> 00:00:48,447
Wow, a million aliens. I've never seen
anything so mind-blowing!

12
00:00:48,970 --> 00:00:53,839
- A reception table with muffins!
- Ladies and gentlemen.

13
00:00:54,090 --> 00:00:58,527
Welcome to the ribbon cutting
for the DOOP's new headquarters.

14
00:00:58,730 --> 00:01:03,520
A fitting home for an organization
that fosters peace everywhere.

15
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:07,928
Even between the Insectoids
and the Space Lizards.

16
00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:16,239
- What's it like on Amazonia?
- Big rats there.

17
00:01:16,490 --> 00:01:19,926
- Me crush with club.
- That's so interesting.

18
00:01:20,170 --> 00:01:22,320
Why don't we have coffee together?

19
00:01:22,530 --> 00:01:25,727
There's no better place
for a home of diplomacy...

20
00:01:25,930 --> 00:01:28,524
...than here orbiting
the Neutral Planet.

21
00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:32,127
What are your thoughts,
Your Neutralness?

22
00:01:32,410 --> 00:01:36,369
I have no strong feelings one way
or the other.

23
00:01:37,370 --> 00:01:41,045
I hate these filthy Neutrals.
You know where enemies stand.

24
00:01:41,290 --> 00:01:45,727
But with Neutrals, who knows?
It sickens me.

25
00:01:46,610 --> 00:01:51,286
Halt! Why, Leela!
I do believe we've met.

26
00:01:51,610 --> 00:01:56,525
- He means you guys did it.
- We brought scissors for the ceremony.

27
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,125
- Then you're under arrest.
- Why?

28
00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:02,567
How do I know these aren't part
of a Neutral plot?

29
00:02:02,770 --> 00:02:05,842
They're not sharp. Who could I hurt?

30
00:02:06,090 --> 00:02:09,526
The Yarn People of Nylar Four.

31
00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:14,882
So a plan to assassinate
a weird-Iooking alien with scissors.

32
00:02:15,090 --> 00:02:16,728
How very Neutral of you.

33
00:02:16,930 --> 00:02:19,967
- What?
- It was almost the perfect crime.

34
00:02:20,210 --> 00:02:24,362
But you forgot one thing:
Rock crushes scissors.

35
00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:28,166
But paper covers rock.
And scissors cuts paper.

36
00:02:28,410 --> 00:02:32,005
Kif, we have a conundrum.
Search them for paper.

37
00:02:32,210 --> 00:02:34,360
- And bring me a rock.
- Why?

38
00:02:34,810 --> 00:02:38,769
So beautiful, yet so Neutral.

39
00:02:39,010 --> 00:02:40,841
Drag them to the ship!

40
00:02:41,170 --> 00:02:44,401
To cut the ribbon, the legendary
DOOP captain...

41
00:02:44,610 --> 00:02:47,920
...who just returned from a
carpet-bombing of Eden Seven...

42
00:02:48,170 --> 00:02:50,730
...Zapp Brannigan.

43
00:02:57,330 --> 00:03:02,358
What makes a man turn Neutral?
Lust for gold? Power?

44
00:03:02,610 --> 00:03:05,602
Or were you born
with a heart of Neutrality?

45
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:09,041
Sir? You should be cutting
the ribbon now.

46
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:13,203
No matter. I'll simply cut it
from here with the ship's laser.

47
00:03:16,410 --> 00:03:18,128
That may not be wise.

48
00:03:18,370 --> 00:03:23,569
Kif, I don't need your
that-may-not-be-wise attitude.

49
00:03:46,770 --> 00:03:48,726
Whoopsie-daisy.

50
00:03:52,210 --> 00:03:56,886
You are accused of blowing up
DOOP headquarters. How do you plead?

51
00:03:57,090 --> 00:04:02,164
- Absolutely 99 percent not guilty.
- The prosecutor will call a witness.

52
00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:07,609
Your Honor, I'm a simple hyper-chicken
from a backwoods asteroid...

53
00:04:07,970 --> 00:04:13,124
...but if it please the court,
I'll call the entire jury.

54
00:04:15,250 --> 00:04:18,640
- I'll allow it.
- Members of the jury...

55
00:04:18,890 --> 00:04:20,721
...did you all happen to gander...

56
00:04:20,930 --> 00:04:24,525
...at who blew up that there
DOOP headquarters?

57
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,209
That's the guy there.

58
00:04:26,410 --> 00:04:30,642
- Are you gonna vote to convict him?
- You better believe it.

59
00:04:31,370 --> 00:04:33,964
The jury will disregard its testimony.

60
00:04:34,330 --> 00:04:38,164
Your Honor, the prosecution rests.

61
00:04:38,450 --> 00:04:40,680
The evidence against Brannigan
is strong.

62
00:04:40,890 --> 00:04:45,680
But, in light of his service,
and this incompetent prosecutor...

63
00:04:45,890 --> 00:04:49,121
...I'm afraid I must dismiss
all charges.

64
00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:54,478
What? Your Honor, I know the case
is closed and you've given a verdict...

65
00:04:54,690 --> 00:04:57,841
...but I want to testify.
- I'll allow it.

66
00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:00,770
Miss Leela, on the date in question...

67
00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:04,559
...were you or weren't you
wearing a skirt?

68
00:05:04,810 --> 00:05:10,248
That's a dumb question. What matters
is Zapp's the worst captain ever.

69
00:05:10,490 --> 00:05:14,324
I saw him blow up DOOP headquarters
with my own eye.

70
00:05:15,770 --> 00:05:19,479
- I'd like to cross-examine.
- I'll allow it.

71
00:05:19,890 --> 00:05:22,643
- We've met before, have we not?
- Yes.

72
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:26,166
On that occasion,
you had sex with someone?

73
00:05:26,490 --> 00:05:31,120
- May I remind you, you're under oath.
- Yes.

74
00:05:31,410 --> 00:05:36,120
Please point out the person
you had sex with.

75
00:05:39,690 --> 00:05:43,126
- And his name is?
- Zapp Brannigan.

76
00:05:43,330 --> 00:05:47,243
The same man who didn't blow up
DOOP headquarters.

77
00:05:47,490 --> 00:05:50,288
I rest my case.

78
00:05:50,490 --> 00:05:54,529
Jury members, you may begin
your deliberations.

79
00:06:05,970 --> 00:06:08,848
Your Honor, we have reached a verdict.

80
00:06:09,090 --> 00:06:12,321
We find the defendant guilty.

81
00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:17,960
You are hereby stripped
of your rank...

82
00:06:18,210 --> 00:06:20,724
...and dismissed from the DOOP.

83
00:06:33,570 --> 00:06:36,368
I'd like to make one final statement.

84
00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:39,130
Kif, come and hold up the flag.

85
00:06:40,170 --> 00:06:42,286
Wave it a little, for God's sake.

86
00:06:42,490 --> 00:06:46,324
You can take away a man's title
and his uniform.

87
00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:49,966
But you can't take away
his integrity and honor.

88
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,963
- Plus, it was Kif's fault.
- What?

89
00:06:53,210 --> 00:06:55,929
You too are stripped of your rank...

90
00:06:56,170 --> 00:06:58,923
...and dishonorably discharged.

91
00:07:05,370 --> 00:07:07,167
One day a man has everything.

92
00:07:07,570 --> 00:07:10,960
Then he blows up a $400 billion
space station.

93
00:07:11,170 --> 00:07:14,128
Next he has nothing. Makes you think.

94
00:07:14,330 --> 00:07:15,922
- No, it doesn't.
- Come, Kif.

95
00:07:16,210 --> 00:07:21,409
It's time to begin our life as
civilians. That's an order, soldier!

96
00:08:06,010 --> 00:08:07,921
- Hey, Bender?
- Yeah?

97
00:08:10,730 --> 00:08:14,166
This is the third hose fight
I've broken up.

98
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,560
And the second one with real hoses.

99
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:21,003
Move your asses and scrub
the ship like I ordered!

100
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:26,409
- You don't have to get so mad.
- Fry wiped off some of the dirt.

101
00:08:32,570 --> 00:08:35,767
- Zapp?
- I didn't know where else to turn.

102
00:08:36,010 --> 00:08:38,968
- You're the only one who loved me.
- I never loved you.

103
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,161
- Physically.
- What is it?

104
00:08:41,370 --> 00:08:46,569
Let me work for food. I'll paint,
or service you sexually, or mop up.

105
00:08:47,010 --> 00:08:51,162
- You can't do any of those things.
- Kif might.

106
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:56,399
- Who are you talking to?
- Just a hobo who's hit rock bottom...

107
00:08:56,610 --> 00:09:00,762
...and his commander.
- You're that disgraced captain.

108
00:09:01,010 --> 00:09:06,130
He'll distract people from our
awful safety record. Come in!

109
00:09:06,410 --> 00:09:11,200
I want everyone to meet our new
employees. Which ones are new?

110
00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:16,649
- The green dude and the fat man.
- I haven't seen that robot before.

111
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,958
I'm Bender. You know,
the lovable rascal.

112
00:09:20,450 --> 00:09:24,921
Oh, yes. My good friend, of course.

113
00:09:25,810 --> 00:09:28,927
Whoever you all are, I have good news.

114
00:09:29,210 --> 00:09:33,965
You have a delivery to Stumbos Four.
The gravity is so high...

115
00:09:34,290 --> 00:09:37,726
...you might be crushed
by your own hair.

116
00:09:37,930 --> 00:09:39,124
Enjoy!

117
00:09:43,890 --> 00:09:47,565
So this Leela.
I know she's a very sensuous woman.

118
00:09:47,810 --> 00:09:50,449
- How is she as a captain?
- Really strict.

119
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:52,646
- And mean.
- I see.

120
00:09:52,930 --> 00:09:57,526
- Does she spank the crew?
- No, she just makes us work.

121
00:09:57,730 --> 00:10:02,724
Good. But should she ever institute
some sort of spanking policy...

122
00:10:02,930 --> 00:10:06,605
...I'll go for you. I won't have
my comrades harmed.

123
00:10:06,810 --> 00:10:08,721
Hey, this guy's all right!

124
00:10:10,650 --> 00:10:14,563
Here's to us poor schmoes working
for the man.

125
00:10:14,810 --> 00:10:18,519
Even if he is a hot, sexy, female man.

126
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:28,159
- I computed our landing coordinates.
- Thanks. Very nice work.

127
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:31,607
- Wait, what?
- I said, "Very nice work. "

128
00:10:32,290 --> 00:10:35,919
This is the happiest day of my life.

129
00:10:40,610 --> 00:10:45,525
Okay, crew. You have to deliver
these 40 pillows to the hotel.

130
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,568
Not heavy, but I'm still complaining.

131
00:10:48,810 --> 00:10:51,529
That's because we have
an anti-grav pump.

132
00:10:51,730 --> 00:10:55,245
Once you're out there,
gravity will be very intense.

133
00:10:55,450 --> 00:10:58,920
Hey, no prob.
This lead apron will protect me.

134
00:10:59,210 --> 00:11:00,723
No screw-ups.

135
00:11:00,930 --> 00:11:05,128
Use the hover dolly and deliver
one pillow at a time.

136
00:11:05,930 --> 00:11:09,843
- Let's deliver them all at once!
- Yeah!

137
00:11:10,050 --> 00:11:11,961
That's using your noodle.

138
00:11:21,010 --> 00:11:24,525
Come on, girdle. Hold...

139
00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:33,122
What the hell happened?

140
00:11:33,410 --> 00:11:37,039
Some breaking, involving the dolly.
That's all we know.

141
00:11:37,290 --> 00:11:39,963
I told you idiots
not to overload it.

142
00:11:40,210 --> 00:11:44,920
- Each pillow weighs 150 Ibs. Here.
- Don't get your panties in a knot.

143
00:11:45,170 --> 00:11:48,048
- We'll use the backup.
- I'll load pillows.

144
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:50,565
No way. You disobeyed an order...

145
00:11:50,770 --> 00:11:54,365
...so now you have to hand-deliver
all 40 pillows.

146
00:11:54,570 --> 00:11:56,561
I have a serious question.

147
00:11:56,810 --> 00:11:59,722
Does the company that
made your bra do girdles?

148
00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:02,530
- I ask because a friend...
- Just get to work!

149
00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:09,241
- I'm Leela. Get to work.
- I agree.

150
00:12:09,490 --> 00:12:13,403
The point is, it's just so
humiliating working for him.

151
00:12:13,930 --> 00:12:16,842
Once he actually ordered me to...

152
00:12:17,090 --> 00:12:21,322
...shave his armpits while
he was in the tub. So I...

153
00:12:21,570 --> 00:12:25,449
Why don't we talk about
something besides Zapp?

154
00:12:25,690 --> 00:12:27,646
Oh, all right.

155
00:12:28,890 --> 00:12:31,643
Well, how about them, um...

156
00:12:31,890 --> 00:12:35,326
Okay, well, there he was
in the tub, right?

157
00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:46,124
Some good old high-gravity rain.
That'll cool us off.

158
00:12:51,810 --> 00:12:53,368
This is Leela's fault.

159
00:12:53,770 --> 00:12:58,525
If she let us use the backup,
we'd have broken it and given up.

160
00:12:58,730 --> 00:13:01,722
A good captain needs many skills...

161
00:13:01,970 --> 00:13:05,440
...like boldness, daring,
and a velour uniform.

162
00:13:05,690 --> 00:13:08,727
I'm not convinced
she has any of those.

163
00:13:08,970 --> 00:13:12,929
Leela's not too bad.
She just makes us work so much.

164
00:13:13,130 --> 00:13:16,964
When I was captain,
I only wanted my men's Ioyalty.

165
00:13:17,210 --> 00:13:20,168
If I had that,
I didn't care if they...

166
00:13:20,410 --> 00:13:22,526
...drank beer in their underwear.

167
00:13:22,770 --> 00:13:25,125
- Beer?
- Underwear?

168
00:13:26,810 --> 00:13:30,928
But now, Zapp's not
captain anymore. I'm free!

169
00:13:31,170 --> 00:13:34,003
Hear that? I'm actually laughing.

170
00:13:34,210 --> 00:13:35,643
This is a mutiny!

171
00:13:36,370 --> 00:13:40,249
You're out of here, lady.
Zapp's the new captain.

172
00:13:41,730 --> 00:13:44,927
All hail the new captain!

173
00:13:50,810 --> 00:13:53,449
You're a capable doer of the nasty...

174
00:13:53,690 --> 00:13:57,763
...but I'm taking over.
- On what grounds, you oaf?

175
00:13:58,010 --> 00:14:01,605
Failure to prevent a mutiny.
Throw her in the brig.

176
00:14:01,810 --> 00:14:04,324
- What brig?
- Then the laundry room...

177
00:14:04,530 --> 00:14:07,090
...which will hereafter
be called the "brig. "

178
00:14:09,610 --> 00:14:12,841
- You don't want me as captain?
- Right, genius.

179
00:14:13,090 --> 00:14:16,685
- Didn't I do well?
- You were mean. You yelled.

180
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:21,088
- You made us work.
- A captain needs to do that.

181
00:14:21,490 --> 00:14:24,448
- I thought we were friends.
- Well...

182
00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:28,769
...you shouldn't have been so mean.
- Don't worry.

183
00:14:29,010 --> 00:14:32,923
Soon we'll be able to look back
on this and laugh.

184
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:41,239
Back in uniform. It nearly
still fits...

185
00:14:41,490 --> 00:14:43,720
...despite the fattening hobo diet.

186
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:48,566
- What do I do with these clothes?
- Put them in the laundry brig.

187
00:14:49,090 --> 00:14:52,605
- Do I have your Ioyalty?
- To the ends of the universe.

188
00:14:52,810 --> 00:14:55,961
- Ten hundred percent.
- That's not enough.

189
00:14:56,210 --> 00:15:00,089
You're to sit and drink
until you're as Ioyal as Kif.

190
00:15:00,610 --> 00:15:04,046
- Yes, sir, sir!
- May I have a beer, sir?

191
00:15:04,290 --> 00:15:07,999
No. You're Ioyal enough.
Meanwhile, I have a plan.

192
00:15:08,410 --> 00:15:12,164
We'll attack our archenemy,
the Neutral Planet.

193
00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:15,641
- Oh, jeez.
- Once the threat is gone...

194
00:15:15,850 --> 00:15:19,729
...I'll be a hero and the DOOP
will reinstate me.

195
00:15:19,970 --> 00:15:24,407
- Sir, that plan makes no sense.
- Maybe not to you.

196
00:15:24,610 --> 00:15:28,159
But you were court-martialed
in disgrace.

197
00:15:28,410 --> 00:15:31,402
- Burn!
- Nailed you, buddy!

198
00:15:35,770 --> 00:15:38,887
Prepare for the fight between
good and Neutral.

199
00:15:39,090 --> 00:15:41,968
Awesome! We'll be like,
pow-pow-pow!

200
00:15:42,210 --> 00:15:45,247
And they'll be like...

201
00:15:45,490 --> 00:15:49,369
...and we'll have pancakes
to celebrate. And I'll be like...

202
00:15:49,770 --> 00:15:53,922
Precisely. Now, in the name of all
that is honorable...

203
00:15:54,130 --> 00:15:57,725
...we'll call them with a message
of peace, then fire.

204
00:15:57,970 --> 00:16:00,200
Yes, sir.

205
00:16:00,730 --> 00:16:03,085
Fly the white flag of war.

206
00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:12,844
<i>This is Zapp Brannigan, of the ship...</i>
<i>Planet Express Ship.</i>

207
00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:17,129
<i>- I come in peace.</i>
- Can we trust him, Your Neutralness?

208
00:16:17,370 --> 00:16:21,329
All I know is my gut says maybe.

209
00:16:22,290 --> 00:16:25,726
- What now?
- We crash into the headquarters...

210
00:16:25,930 --> 00:16:30,162
...killing them in a firestorm
from which nothing can escape.

211
00:16:30,410 --> 00:16:33,368
- And then?
- Then your mission is complete.

212
00:16:33,610 --> 00:16:38,525
I'll already have ejected
wearing the only space suit.

213
00:16:41,930 --> 00:16:47,129
- Wait. Is this gonna kill us?
- Yes. That's what I meant by Ioyalty.

214
00:16:47,330 --> 00:16:49,366
Now help me into the only suit.

215
00:16:49,610 --> 00:16:52,886
It's sweaty.
You may need baby powder.

216
00:16:55,010 --> 00:17:00,289
- We want you back as captain.
- Let me guess. He canceled naptime?

217
00:17:00,650 --> 00:17:04,609
He ran out of beer?
So he's about to kill us?

218
00:17:05,570 --> 00:17:09,119
- We want Leela to be captain.
- Mutiny?

219
00:17:09,370 --> 00:17:12,680
Never thought I'd see the day.
Come, Kif.

220
00:17:12,890 --> 00:17:18,089
- There's a child's suit for you.
- I want to stay here with Leela.

221
00:17:18,410 --> 00:17:21,527
She actually listens
to what I have to...

222
00:17:33,090 --> 00:17:37,322
He's disabled the steering!
We're gonna crash!

223
00:17:37,570 --> 00:17:40,926
Leela, save me! And yourself, I guess.

224
00:17:41,130 --> 00:17:43,121
And my banjo!

225
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,124
And Fry.

226
00:17:45,370 --> 00:17:48,123
Okay. We have one chance.

227
00:17:48,330 --> 00:17:50,969
- Will you do what I say?
- Absolutely.

228
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:54,765
- Even if I make you work?
- As your God is my witness.

229
00:17:54,970 --> 00:17:59,725
Get the backup dolly and put all dark
matter into the left engine.

230
00:17:59,970 --> 00:18:01,926
Aw, man! That crap's heavy!

231
00:18:02,170 --> 00:18:04,081
- And warm.
- Just do it!

232
00:18:07,490 --> 00:18:09,685
Your Neutralness, beige alert.

233
00:18:09,970 --> 00:18:13,246
If I die, tell my wife, "Hello. "

234
00:18:14,810 --> 00:18:17,370
I don't want to die at age 25.

235
00:18:17,610 --> 00:18:21,569
<i>Unless we hit a time warp,</i>
<i>don 't worry about it.</i>

236
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:28,324
- It's too low!
- <i>Q</i>uick!

237
00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:39,560
You did it! You actually did it!

238
00:18:41,130 --> 00:18:43,519
And no one will be punished
for the mutiny!

239
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:52,527
When Leela panicked,
maybe because of female troubles...

240
00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:55,767
...my quick mind saved the day.

241
00:18:56,050 --> 00:19:00,965
- Is this tale of magic and glory true?
- Well, actually...

242
00:19:01,210 --> 00:19:05,203
Good. If they don't take him
back, we'll keep him.

243
00:19:07,330 --> 00:19:11,118
It's true. My female incompetence,
his cat-like reflexes...

244
00:19:11,370 --> 00:19:14,328
...the stuff that made no sense,
all of it.

245
00:19:15,410 --> 00:19:16,968
In that case, Zapp Brannigan...

246
00:19:17,210 --> 00:19:21,726
...I hereby restore your rank
and parking privileges.

247
00:19:25,810 --> 00:19:28,324
Come, Kif. We've got work to do.

248
00:19:31,290 --> 00:19:33,929
I'll call and tell you about it.

249
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:40,963
Leela, even though you're mean...

250
00:19:41,250 --> 00:19:45,402
...you're the best captain ever.
- Yeah. You're one dynamite lady.

251
00:19:45,610 --> 00:19:47,726
- Can we have a week off?
- No.

252
00:19:47,930 --> 00:19:50,763
- Please?
- Come on, captain.

253
00:19:50,970 --> 00:19:54,565
- Oh, all right.
- No time off.

254
00:19:54,810 --> 00:19:57,449
- Oh, man.
- Let's mutiny.

255
00:20:35,010 --> 00:20:35,999
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group

256
00:20:36,170 --> 00:20:37,159
[ENGLISH]