1 00:00:01,865 --> 00:00:03,909 NARRATOR: Futurama is brought to you by... 2 00:00:04,618 --> 00:00:06,245 Glagnar's Human Rinds. 3 00:00:06,328 --> 00:00:08,580 It's a buncha muncha cruncha humans! 4 00:00:08,664 --> 00:00:09,957 (CRUNCHING) 5 00:00:11,083 --> 00:00:13,877 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 6 00:00:42,447 --> 00:00:43,574 (GRUNTS) 7 00:00:45,409 --> 00:00:47,160 (MACHINE WHIRRING) 8 00:00:53,709 --> 00:00:54,918 (NIBBLER PANTING) 9 00:01:00,757 --> 00:01:02,968 Aw! Somebody likes snouts. 10 00:01:03,051 --> 00:01:04,052 Is it me? 11 00:01:04,428 --> 00:01:06,305 (BENDER HUMMING) 12 00:01:08,056 --> 00:01:10,559 - Oh, my head! My precious head! - (MACHINE WHIRRING) 13 00:01:10,976 --> 00:01:11,977 LEELA: Oh! 14 00:01:12,227 --> 00:01:13,395 (BENDER SHUDDERING) 15 00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:16,064 (PANTING) Stupid can opener! 16 00:01:16,148 --> 00:01:19,026 You killed my father and now you've come back for me! 17 00:01:19,109 --> 00:01:20,277 You all right, Bender? 18 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:22,112 Yeah, I guess so. 19 00:01:22,195 --> 00:01:25,324 But I don't see why we keep this ticking time bomb around 20 00:01:25,407 --> 00:01:27,034 just for that dumb animal! 21 00:01:27,117 --> 00:01:28,952 LEELA: Don't yell at Nibbler like that. 22 00:01:29,036 --> 00:01:30,329 You hurt his feelings. 23 00:01:30,412 --> 00:01:32,456 Come on, pet him and make up. 24 00:01:32,539 --> 00:01:35,209 - No. - I said pet him. 25 00:01:35,876 --> 00:01:37,502 I'll pet him. 26 00:01:37,586 --> 00:01:39,671 I'll pet him with both hands! 27 00:01:40,047 --> 00:01:42,007 - (NIBBLER GROWLING) - Ow, my ass! 28 00:01:42,090 --> 00:01:43,467 Get off! get off! 29 00:01:43,550 --> 00:01:44,635 Are you all right? 30 00:01:44,718 --> 00:01:47,012 It's nothing a lawsuit won't cure. 31 00:01:47,095 --> 00:01:48,388 Not you. 32 00:01:48,472 --> 00:01:49,932 (NIBBLER WHIMPERING) 33 00:01:50,557 --> 00:01:52,601 Aw! Poor baby. 34 00:01:52,684 --> 00:01:54,061 Chipped a fang. 35 00:01:54,478 --> 00:01:55,604 (KISSING) 36 00:01:55,687 --> 00:01:57,439 Hey, I got a busted ass here! 37 00:01:57,564 --> 00:01:59,316 I don't see anyone kissing it! 38 00:01:59,399 --> 00:02:02,110 All right, I'm coming. 39 00:02:05,531 --> 00:02:06,990 (CAT PURRING) 40 00:02:14,081 --> 00:02:15,499 Remember, Rover gets the pill, 41 00:02:15,582 --> 00:02:17,626 and Pepper gets the suppository. 42 00:02:17,709 --> 00:02:18,919 Next! 43 00:02:23,131 --> 00:02:24,216 Ow! 44 00:02:25,968 --> 00:02:28,178 It's just a simple broken fang. Nothing serious. 45 00:02:28,262 --> 00:02:29,972 What's that you say there, Doctor? 46 00:02:30,055 --> 00:02:31,848 You're going to have to put him down? 47 00:02:31,932 --> 00:02:33,642 No, I... But I... 48 00:02:33,725 --> 00:02:35,185 Terrible shame, that. 49 00:02:35,269 --> 00:02:36,728 Shall I do the honors? 50 00:02:38,730 --> 00:02:39,731 No! 51 00:02:41,775 --> 00:02:42,943 You about done? 52 00:02:43,026 --> 00:02:44,945 Next time I'm keeping it. 53 00:02:45,404 --> 00:02:47,447 I believe I have a replacement fang for your pet 54 00:02:47,531 --> 00:02:48,866 in the next room. 55 00:02:50,742 --> 00:02:52,244 (LOUD SNARLING) 56 00:02:52,327 --> 00:02:54,121 - (VET GRUNTING) - (OBJECTS BREAKING) 57 00:02:54,204 --> 00:02:56,206 - (VET WHIMPERING) - (SNARLING CONTINUES) 58 00:02:58,417 --> 00:02:59,626 Oh! (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 59 00:02:59,710 --> 00:03:01,211 The jaguar didn't want to cooperate, 60 00:03:01,295 --> 00:03:03,922 but luckily he knocked one of my teeth out. 61 00:03:04,006 --> 00:03:05,340 Now, then... 62 00:03:05,674 --> 00:03:06,717 - (CRACKING) - NIBBLER: Ow! 63 00:03:08,802 --> 00:03:11,471 Hey, what are these rings in Nibbler's fang? 64 00:03:11,805 --> 00:03:15,142 Um... I'm still a little woozy from a gazelle kick this morning, 65 00:03:15,225 --> 00:03:19,146 but if he's anything like the common tree the rings might indicate his age. 66 00:03:19,229 --> 00:03:21,106 (CHUCKLES) Yeah, well, good luck. 67 00:03:21,189 --> 00:03:24,109 It would take some kind of genius to count all those rings. 68 00:03:24,192 --> 00:03:25,777 He's five. 69 00:03:28,572 --> 00:03:30,949 FARNSWORTH: Happy birthday, young Nibbler. 70 00:03:32,409 --> 00:03:35,621 Aw! Look how cuddly he looks in his new cape. 71 00:03:35,704 --> 00:03:38,582 I'd be cuddly, too, if someone gave me a new cape. 72 00:03:38,665 --> 00:03:41,752 Who's playing "pin the tail on the moon maggot"? 73 00:03:41,835 --> 00:03:44,213 Ooh! Me! Everyone watch how good I am! 74 00:03:45,631 --> 00:03:48,383 (BEEPING) 75 00:03:49,176 --> 00:03:50,510 (RAPID BEEPING) 76 00:03:52,179 --> 00:03:54,181 (BENDER GROANING) 77 00:03:59,228 --> 00:04:02,314 Yay! And the crowd goes wild! 78 00:04:02,397 --> 00:04:04,191 What prize do I get? Cash? 79 00:04:04,274 --> 00:04:05,943 Hey, look at Nibbler. 80 00:04:08,403 --> 00:04:10,155 Aw! He's holding a spoon. 81 00:04:10,239 --> 00:04:12,282 He's so talented. 82 00:04:12,366 --> 00:04:13,742 You call that talent? 83 00:04:13,825 --> 00:04:15,160 Gather 'round ol' Bender 84 00:04:15,244 --> 00:04:17,746 and get ready for the show of a lifetime. 85 00:04:18,121 --> 00:04:20,082 (WHISTLING TUNEFULLY) 86 00:04:28,173 --> 00:04:29,675 Ta-da! 87 00:04:29,758 --> 00:04:30,884 (GROWLS ANGRILY) 88 00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:34,054 (GASPS) Now, he's wearing a hat! 89 00:04:34,137 --> 00:04:36,557 Come on, let's all sing "Happy Birthday." 90 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:39,226 (ALL SINGING) What day is today 91 00:04:39,309 --> 00:04:41,853 It's Nibbler's birthday 92 00:04:41,937 --> 00:04:44,648 What a day for a birthday 93 00:04:44,731 --> 00:04:47,526 Let's all have some cake 94 00:04:47,609 --> 00:04:50,404 And you smell like one, too 95 00:04:53,282 --> 00:04:54,783 Hey! What about this? 96 00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:56,493 (WHISTLING TUNEFULLY) 97 00:04:56,577 --> 00:04:59,913 Bender, I thought you were supposed to be cooking for this party. 98 00:04:59,997 --> 00:05:02,499 Fine. We'll have rack of Nibbler. 99 00:05:02,583 --> 00:05:04,167 Just make a simple cake. 100 00:05:04,251 --> 00:05:06,837 And this time if someone's going to jump out of it, 101 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,548 make sure to put them in after you cook it. 102 00:05:09,631 --> 00:05:11,842 So it's a cake you want, is it? 103 00:05:12,342 --> 00:05:16,221 I'll make you a cake you'll never forget. 104 00:05:18,599 --> 00:05:20,517 (LAUGHING EVILLY) 105 00:05:21,310 --> 00:05:23,562 That'll take care of those annoying rats. 106 00:05:23,645 --> 00:05:26,023 Now, to make a cake so delicious 107 00:05:26,106 --> 00:05:29,234 they'll have no choice but to love and worship me. 108 00:05:29,443 --> 00:05:31,445 (WHISTLING TUNEFULLY) 109 00:05:44,917 --> 00:05:46,376 (WHIRRING) 110 00:05:52,132 --> 00:05:53,425 (WHIRRING) 111 00:05:53,508 --> 00:05:55,052 (HUMMING) 112 00:05:55,677 --> 00:05:56,845 (TIMER DINGS) 113 00:05:59,181 --> 00:06:03,060 There. This will teach those filthy bastards who's lovable. 114 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,520 Now, all I have to do is spell check it, 115 00:06:05,604 --> 00:06:08,315 and it's ready for my admiring public. 116 00:06:09,608 --> 00:06:12,402 (NIBBLER HUMMING) 117 00:06:13,195 --> 00:06:14,571 (NIBBLER SNIFFING) 118 00:06:14,655 --> 00:06:16,532 No! Get away from there. 119 00:06:19,493 --> 00:06:20,911 (SCREAMING IN FRUSTRATION) 120 00:06:22,788 --> 00:06:23,872 (BURPS) 121 00:06:23,956 --> 00:06:26,166 That's it. 122 00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:30,128 Happy birthday. 123 00:06:30,963 --> 00:06:32,506 (FLUSHING) 124 00:06:32,589 --> 00:06:33,840 (NIBBLER WHIMPERING) 125 00:06:35,175 --> 00:06:37,135 Bender, what's going... (GASPS) 126 00:06:38,554 --> 00:06:40,180 No! 127 00:06:40,264 --> 00:06:42,599 Hey, can't you see I'm using the toilet? 128 00:06:47,271 --> 00:06:48,814 (LEELA SOBBING) 129 00:06:49,773 --> 00:06:53,318 Bender, how could you flush Nibbler down the toilet? 130 00:06:53,402 --> 00:06:55,320 Well, step one, I had to lift the seat. 131 00:06:55,404 --> 00:06:57,364 That was the first little annoyance. 132 00:06:57,447 --> 00:06:58,782 Am I right, men? 133 00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:01,243 Aren't you upset at all? 134 00:07:01,326 --> 00:07:04,329 How would you feel if I flushed Fry down the toilet? 135 00:07:04,413 --> 00:07:06,081 Only one way to find out. 136 00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:10,252 You have no sympathy for anyone else's feelings. 137 00:07:10,335 --> 00:07:11,420 Of course I do. 138 00:07:11,503 --> 00:07:13,547 Right now, I feel sorry for you. 139 00:07:13,630 --> 00:07:15,299 - You do? - Yeah. I mean, 140 00:07:15,382 --> 00:07:18,010 one cantaloupe-sized bloodshot eye. 141 00:07:18,093 --> 00:07:20,971 You ain't winning no beauty pageants, lady. 142 00:07:22,014 --> 00:07:24,016 (LEELA SOBS) 143 00:07:24,975 --> 00:07:29,021 And so we say good-bye to our beloved pet Nibbler, 144 00:07:29,104 --> 00:07:33,609 who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. 145 00:07:33,692 --> 00:07:34,860 The toilet. 146 00:07:35,485 --> 00:07:36,820 (LEELA SOBBING) 147 00:07:45,913 --> 00:07:47,331 I wouldn't feel so bad 148 00:07:47,414 --> 00:07:50,959 if Bender just understood the pain he caused me. 149 00:07:51,293 --> 00:07:52,544 (BENDER LAUGHING) 150 00:07:53,754 --> 00:07:55,464 Give it to me straight, doctor. 151 00:07:55,547 --> 00:07:57,090 Don't sugarcoat it. 152 00:07:57,174 --> 00:07:58,634 Very well. 153 00:07:58,717 --> 00:07:59,968 Your entire family died 154 00:08:00,093 --> 00:08:04,181 when a plane piloted by your fiancée crashed into your uninsured home. 155 00:08:04,264 --> 00:08:06,058 And you have inoperable cancer. 156 00:08:06,350 --> 00:08:07,809 (LAUGHS) 157 00:08:08,852 --> 00:08:11,271 Bet you weren't expecting that one, Calculon! 158 00:08:11,355 --> 00:08:14,441 It's like he doesn't understand simple humanoid emotion. 159 00:08:14,524 --> 00:08:18,195 I wish just once Bender could feel exactly what I feel. 160 00:08:18,278 --> 00:08:20,614 Actually, through the miracle of science, 161 00:08:20,697 --> 00:08:22,032 that can be arranged. 162 00:08:22,115 --> 00:08:24,826 Uh-oh. Is this gonna be another crazy experiment 163 00:08:24,910 --> 00:08:27,246 that crosses a line man was not meant to cross? 164 00:08:28,997 --> 00:08:30,499 NEWSREADER: The official death toll 165 00:08:30,582 --> 00:08:34,545 in that tragic rocket crash has now been raised to 54,000. 166 00:08:35,003 --> 00:08:36,213 (CHUCKLING) 167 00:08:37,631 --> 00:08:40,759 Hey, what the hell are you doing with my head? 168 00:08:40,842 --> 00:08:42,302 I need to tinker in it. 169 00:08:42,386 --> 00:08:44,972 Why don't you just use a potted plant like Fry? 170 00:08:45,055 --> 00:08:46,265 Quiet you. 171 00:08:46,348 --> 00:08:48,267 I'm installing an empathy chip. 172 00:08:48,350 --> 00:08:51,019 And that'll allow Bender to feel other people's emotions? 173 00:08:51,103 --> 00:08:54,231 Yes. If by "allow" you mean "force." 174 00:08:55,232 --> 00:08:56,942 - Son of a... Careful with that! - Oh, dear. 175 00:08:57,067 --> 00:08:59,278 - Oh, my. - Hey! 176 00:08:59,361 --> 00:09:01,071 Once more. My bad. 177 00:09:01,154 --> 00:09:02,573 Steady now. 178 00:09:02,656 --> 00:09:03,824 There we go. 179 00:09:05,993 --> 00:09:10,163 Now, I'll simply tune it to Leela's emotional frequency. 180 00:09:11,707 --> 00:09:12,875 My God. 181 00:09:12,958 --> 00:09:15,794 I'm overcome with feelings. 182 00:09:15,919 --> 00:09:18,881 I'm experiencing a powerful yearning to... 183 00:09:18,964 --> 00:09:22,092 To cram my gullet full of mackerel heads. 184 00:09:22,175 --> 00:09:23,594 That's me, baby. 185 00:09:23,719 --> 00:09:25,053 Hmm. 186 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:28,223 Now I'm worried that I'm not as smart as Leela. 187 00:09:28,307 --> 00:09:29,808 But at the same time, 188 00:09:29,892 --> 00:09:32,102 I feel relieved that I'm cuter than her. 189 00:09:32,227 --> 00:09:33,937 Uh... That's me. 190 00:09:34,021 --> 00:09:35,105 Thanks for covering. 191 00:09:36,231 --> 00:09:37,983 This time I miss Nibbler, 192 00:09:38,066 --> 00:09:40,277 and I'm feeling nosy and opinionated. 193 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:41,695 - Bingo. - That's Leela. 194 00:09:41,778 --> 00:09:42,946 Thank you, Professor. 195 00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:45,699 I'm happy that Bender can finally feel my pain. 196 00:09:45,782 --> 00:09:48,035 Happy. I like this feeling. 197 00:09:48,118 --> 00:09:50,871 Just don't revert to your usual mopey self. 198 00:09:50,954 --> 00:09:53,248 I'm not mopey. You shut up. 199 00:09:53,332 --> 00:09:54,458 Anger, huh? 200 00:09:54,541 --> 00:09:56,501 How dare you make me feel anger, 201 00:09:56,585 --> 00:09:58,837 you one-eyed jerk with a dead pet! 202 00:09:58,921 --> 00:10:00,464 (LAUGHS) 203 00:10:00,756 --> 00:10:02,507 (LEELA SOBBING) 204 00:10:03,008 --> 00:10:04,885 (BENDER SOBS) 205 00:10:06,845 --> 00:10:08,889 - (MUSIC PLAYING) - (LIVELY CHATTER) 206 00:10:08,972 --> 00:10:11,016 Thanks for taking me out, Amy. 207 00:10:11,099 --> 00:10:13,060 I feel slightly less miserable already. 208 00:10:13,143 --> 00:10:15,187 Hey, you know what would cheer you up? 209 00:10:15,270 --> 00:10:16,980 You should get yourself a puppy. 210 00:10:17,064 --> 00:10:18,106 A puppy? 211 00:10:19,107 --> 00:10:21,568 Nibbler loved to eat puppies. 212 00:10:21,652 --> 00:10:22,945 (SOBBING) 213 00:10:23,195 --> 00:10:24,446 (BENDER SOBS) 214 00:10:24,529 --> 00:10:25,948 What's your problem? 215 00:10:26,406 --> 00:10:29,076 - I miss Nibbler. - You do? 216 00:10:29,159 --> 00:10:30,202 Hell, no! 217 00:10:30,285 --> 00:10:31,662 It's Leela's stupid feelings. 218 00:10:31,745 --> 00:10:33,664 Why can't she just drink herself happy 219 00:10:33,747 --> 00:10:35,332 like a normal person? 220 00:10:35,916 --> 00:10:37,209 (SOBS) 221 00:10:40,879 --> 00:10:42,214 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 222 00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:44,341 (GROWLING) 223 00:10:44,925 --> 00:10:46,260 Uh-oh, jealousy. 224 00:10:46,552 --> 00:10:48,387 You think you're so hot! 225 00:10:48,637 --> 00:10:50,764 - Huh? - The only reason you get all the guys 226 00:10:50,847 --> 00:10:52,891 is because you dress like a tramp. 227 00:10:53,850 --> 00:10:56,562 They're just responding to my personality. 228 00:10:57,354 --> 00:10:59,523 Um, Leela, Armando and I 229 00:10:59,606 --> 00:11:02,192 are going to the backseat of his car for coffee. 230 00:11:02,276 --> 00:11:04,570 You going to be all right here by yourself? 231 00:11:04,653 --> 00:11:06,905 Sure. I'm having a great time. 232 00:11:06,989 --> 00:11:09,575 Really, you two go enjoy yourselves. 233 00:11:11,451 --> 00:11:13,120 I'm so lonely. 234 00:11:13,203 --> 00:11:15,873 I'm going to go eat a bucket of ice cream. 235 00:11:15,956 --> 00:11:17,708 (MUTTERS SADLY) 236 00:11:19,710 --> 00:11:21,712 The spoon's in the foot powder. 237 00:11:28,093 --> 00:11:30,429 - (SNIFFLES) - (BENDER SIGHS) 238 00:11:30,554 --> 00:11:32,306 I'm at the end of my rope. 239 00:11:32,389 --> 00:11:36,393 I can't live another minute without poor, sweet Nibbler. 240 00:11:36,476 --> 00:11:37,853 Too bad he wasn't an alligator. 241 00:11:37,936 --> 00:11:40,647 When you flush those things they stay alive in the sewers. 242 00:11:40,731 --> 00:11:42,107 - Really? - Yep. 243 00:11:42,190 --> 00:11:44,610 My friend's cousin's caseworker saw one once. 244 00:11:44,693 --> 00:11:46,069 It's a widely believed fact. 245 00:11:46,361 --> 00:11:47,571 Hmm. 246 00:11:47,654 --> 00:11:49,031 Sewers. 247 00:11:49,114 --> 00:11:51,158 Thinking, thinking, thinking. 248 00:11:52,451 --> 00:11:55,454 Hang on, Nibbler! Uncle Bender's coming to save you. 249 00:11:55,996 --> 00:11:57,623 (TOILET FLUSHING) 250 00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:00,959 Damn, it's too small. 251 00:12:01,043 --> 00:12:03,670 What do those humans design this for, anyway? 252 00:12:08,050 --> 00:12:09,259 Aha! 253 00:12:09,343 --> 00:12:11,803 Bender, one. Toilet, zero. 254 00:12:15,098 --> 00:12:17,309 See you on the other side. 255 00:12:19,853 --> 00:12:21,480 Bender? Bender? 256 00:12:22,522 --> 00:12:23,899 Have you seen my sombrero? 257 00:12:24,024 --> 00:12:25,108 (GASPING) 258 00:12:29,696 --> 00:12:31,990 Now he's flushed himself down the toilet? 259 00:12:32,074 --> 00:12:33,367 Who's he going to flush next? 260 00:12:33,450 --> 00:12:34,826 Hey, it's your fault. 261 00:12:34,910 --> 00:12:35,911 He only flushed himself 262 00:12:35,994 --> 00:12:37,788 because your emotions made him feel bad. 263 00:12:37,871 --> 00:12:38,914 You're right. 264 00:12:38,997 --> 00:12:40,207 I feel terrible. 265 00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:41,291 Oh, great. 266 00:12:41,375 --> 00:12:42,960 Now you're making him feel worse. 267 00:12:43,043 --> 00:12:45,796 I guess we'd better go down into the sewers and look for him. 268 00:12:45,879 --> 00:12:47,214 Are you crazy? 269 00:12:47,297 --> 00:12:48,757 There's mutants down there. 270 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:49,925 They'll eat you alive. 271 00:12:50,008 --> 00:12:51,635 They're hideous! 272 00:12:51,969 --> 00:12:54,054 (MOCK SCREAMING) 273 00:12:54,221 --> 00:12:56,181 There's no such thing as mutants. 274 00:12:56,265 --> 00:12:58,058 That's a ridiculous urban myth. 275 00:12:58,141 --> 00:13:00,269 Oh, don't be so sure. 276 00:13:00,352 --> 00:13:04,106 Many scientists believe humans really could mutate down there 277 00:13:04,189 --> 00:13:09,027 due to exposure to toxic waste and radioactive runoff 278 00:13:09,111 --> 00:13:11,530 and good old American feces. 279 00:13:11,613 --> 00:13:13,782 God bless America. 280 00:13:18,954 --> 00:13:20,289 (LEELA GRUNTS) 281 00:13:20,414 --> 00:13:21,415 (FRY EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST) 282 00:13:21,498 --> 00:13:22,875 Ladies first. 283 00:13:23,208 --> 00:13:24,543 (SCREAMING) 284 00:13:24,626 --> 00:13:25,752 (SPLASHING) 285 00:13:27,212 --> 00:13:29,256 Ugh! And the aftertaste. 286 00:13:33,135 --> 00:13:34,136 (SCREAMS) 287 00:13:34,219 --> 00:13:36,013 - What is it? - I burned my finger. 288 00:13:37,264 --> 00:13:38,891 Okay, check the guidebook. 289 00:13:38,974 --> 00:13:40,684 Looks like we're under Park Avenue. 290 00:13:41,393 --> 00:13:43,145 Ooh! Ritzy. 291 00:13:43,228 --> 00:13:47,274 Just think, all this was probably once s charity luncheon for the Met. 292 00:13:47,357 --> 00:13:48,400 (LOUD CLICKING) 293 00:13:48,483 --> 00:13:49,484 Wait, what's that? 294 00:13:51,445 --> 00:13:53,697 I never should have thrown out the manual. 295 00:13:53,780 --> 00:13:56,783 Bender, you didn't have to come down here. 296 00:13:56,867 --> 00:14:00,495 I know, but I just missed Nibbler so much. 297 00:14:01,079 --> 00:14:02,372 (WHIMPERS) 298 00:14:02,456 --> 00:14:03,999 He was so cute. 299 00:14:04,082 --> 00:14:05,667 He was so sweet. 300 00:14:06,752 --> 00:14:09,421 This emotional display is making me nauseous. 301 00:14:10,088 --> 00:14:11,715 Or maybe it's whatever that is. 302 00:14:12,966 --> 00:14:14,760 LEELA: Nibbler! 303 00:14:14,843 --> 00:14:16,929 Nibbler! 304 00:14:17,095 --> 00:14:20,307 (SIGHS) It's no use. We better turn back. 305 00:14:20,390 --> 00:14:21,767 Which way, Fry? 306 00:14:22,017 --> 00:14:25,229 Hmm. According to this map, the only way out is through... 307 00:14:25,312 --> 00:14:26,313 That pipe. 308 00:14:29,233 --> 00:14:31,485 Don't worry, it gets wider after about a mile. 309 00:14:31,568 --> 00:14:33,111 - Idiot. - Idiot. 310 00:14:33,487 --> 00:14:35,489 Okay, okay, never mind. 311 00:14:35,572 --> 00:14:37,366 I'll just ask those people for directions. 312 00:14:37,658 --> 00:14:38,992 (GIBBERING) 313 00:14:40,452 --> 00:14:41,578 Mutants! 314 00:14:41,662 --> 00:14:42,663 (SCREAMING) 315 00:14:42,746 --> 00:14:43,830 (SCREAMS) 316 00:14:44,915 --> 00:14:47,292 (SCREAMING) 317 00:14:50,128 --> 00:14:52,089 Mutants! They're real. 318 00:14:52,297 --> 00:14:53,882 (BENDER MUTTERS FEARFULLY) 319 00:14:53,966 --> 00:14:55,592 I'll take care of this. 320 00:14:56,635 --> 00:14:58,095 Back. Back. 321 00:15:01,056 --> 00:15:02,432 Thanks, handsome. 322 00:15:02,516 --> 00:15:04,935 Please, do not be frightened. We're harmless. 323 00:15:05,018 --> 00:15:06,311 I have three arms. 324 00:15:06,395 --> 00:15:07,896 I said harmless, not armless. 325 00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:10,649 Lay off him. You know he's only got one ear. 326 00:15:10,732 --> 00:15:12,734 Hey, aren't you supposed to be eating our brains? 327 00:15:12,818 --> 00:15:13,819 You're mutants. 328 00:15:13,902 --> 00:15:14,945 Mutants? 329 00:15:15,028 --> 00:15:17,322 Perhaps it is you who are the mutants. 330 00:15:17,406 --> 00:15:18,866 Please, Dwayne. 331 00:15:18,949 --> 00:15:20,951 Have you looked in a mirror lately? 332 00:15:22,452 --> 00:15:24,037 Welcome to our village. 333 00:15:24,121 --> 00:15:27,708 It may not be Paris, but it has a certain quaint charm 334 00:15:27,791 --> 00:15:29,793 that I, for one, wouldn't trade for the world. 335 00:15:29,877 --> 00:15:32,129 You guys realize you live in a sewer, right? 336 00:15:32,212 --> 00:15:33,213 Perhaps. 337 00:15:33,297 --> 00:15:34,965 But perhaps your civilization 338 00:15:35,048 --> 00:15:38,510 is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you. 339 00:15:38,594 --> 00:15:41,388 - No, we're on the top. - Daylight and everything. 340 00:15:41,513 --> 00:15:44,141 - Oh. - It must be wonderful. 341 00:15:44,224 --> 00:15:45,267 Meh. 342 00:15:45,350 --> 00:15:48,145 Listen, we actually came down here to find our pet, Nibbler. 343 00:15:48,228 --> 00:15:49,855 He got flushed down the toilet. 344 00:15:49,938 --> 00:15:51,773 Well, if he got flushed down the toilet, 345 00:15:51,857 --> 00:15:53,609 he probably came through here. 346 00:15:54,151 --> 00:15:55,527 Everything always does. 347 00:15:55,944 --> 00:15:57,321 Follow me. 348 00:15:58,447 --> 00:16:01,491 All that is ours was once flushed down your toilets. 349 00:16:01,867 --> 00:16:03,827 Over there is our aquarium. 350 00:16:04,328 --> 00:16:05,954 This is our library. 351 00:16:06,038 --> 00:16:08,582 Nothing but crumpled porno and Ayn Rand. 352 00:16:08,665 --> 00:16:10,500 And over here is our church. 353 00:16:11,543 --> 00:16:12,586 (DOOR CREAKS) 354 00:16:12,669 --> 00:16:16,131 Wow. You guys worship an unexploded nuclear bomb? 355 00:16:16,215 --> 00:16:17,925 Yeah, but nobody's that observant. 356 00:16:18,008 --> 00:16:20,177 It's mainly a Christmas and Easter thing. 357 00:16:21,261 --> 00:16:22,846 Nibbler? 358 00:16:22,930 --> 00:16:25,724 Come to Daddy, sweetie-ookums. 359 00:16:25,807 --> 00:16:28,227 So, is it true that alligators flushed down the toilet 360 00:16:28,310 --> 00:16:29,436 survive down here? 361 00:16:29,519 --> 00:16:31,355 No. That's just an urban legend. 362 00:16:31,438 --> 00:16:32,731 Then what are those? 363 00:16:32,814 --> 00:16:33,815 Crocodiles. 364 00:16:33,899 --> 00:16:35,108 We keep them as pets. 365 00:16:35,192 --> 00:16:36,944 Then, when they grow too large 366 00:16:37,027 --> 00:16:39,279 we flush them down into the sub-sewer. 367 00:16:39,363 --> 00:16:42,824 Some say there's a freakish race of sub-mutants down there. 368 00:16:42,908 --> 00:16:45,494 Please, that's just a sub-urban legend. 369 00:16:45,619 --> 00:16:48,580 Oh? Then I suppose you also don't believe in... 370 00:16:48,705 --> 00:16:50,541 El Chupanibre. 371 00:16:50,666 --> 00:16:52,251 (MUTANTS EXCLAIM FEARFULLY) 372 00:16:52,584 --> 00:16:55,087 El Chupanibre? What's that? 373 00:16:55,379 --> 00:16:56,505 (GUITAR PLAYING) 374 00:16:59,007 --> 00:17:02,427 Gather 'round, children, for the legend of El Chupanibre. 375 00:17:03,136 --> 00:17:06,056 (SINGING) He creeps and crawls In the midnight hush 376 00:17:06,139 --> 00:17:08,767 Silent as a low-flow toilet flush 377 00:17:08,850 --> 00:17:10,978 Watch your step, 'Cause sooner or later 378 00:17:11,061 --> 00:17:13,814 He'll eat you whole And half your alligator 379 00:17:13,897 --> 00:17:15,315 - Crocodile. (BURPS) - Whatever. 380 00:17:15,899 --> 00:17:19,069 Wait, our pet Nibbler loves fresh crocodile. 381 00:17:19,152 --> 00:17:20,612 It's his favorite treat. 382 00:17:20,696 --> 00:17:23,031 He must be El Chupanibre. 383 00:17:23,115 --> 00:17:24,408 Hey, yeah. 384 00:17:24,491 --> 00:17:27,411 You unleashed the dreaded El Chupanibre upon us? 385 00:17:27,494 --> 00:17:29,788 Then you are our sworn enemies. 386 00:17:29,997 --> 00:17:32,082 (MUTANTS MUTTER ANGRILY) 387 00:17:32,332 --> 00:17:33,542 You don't understand. 388 00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:35,294 He would never hurt people. 389 00:17:35,377 --> 00:17:36,753 Let us help you capture him. 390 00:17:36,837 --> 00:17:37,880 Impossible. 391 00:17:37,963 --> 00:17:39,131 If the legend is true, 392 00:17:39,214 --> 00:17:41,717 our only hope is to offer him a snack-rifice. 393 00:17:41,842 --> 00:17:44,344 Yes, an unspoiled virgin. 394 00:17:44,428 --> 00:17:45,554 I volunteer. 395 00:17:45,637 --> 00:17:47,014 Nice try, Leela. 396 00:17:47,097 --> 00:17:49,558 But we've all seen Zapp Brannigan's web page. 397 00:17:49,766 --> 00:17:51,476 (BENDER LAUGHING) 398 00:17:52,227 --> 00:17:54,855 Oh! I made myself feel bad. 399 00:17:54,938 --> 00:17:57,524 She'll have to do. Chain her to the post. 400 00:17:59,234 --> 00:18:01,069 And rip her shirt a little. 401 00:18:02,029 --> 00:18:03,155 (FABRIC TEARS) 402 00:18:03,238 --> 00:18:07,701 Behold. When El Chupanibre comes for the "virgin", 403 00:18:07,784 --> 00:18:09,786 he will be snared by this rope trap. 404 00:18:09,912 --> 00:18:12,831 Shh. El Chupanibre comes soon. 405 00:18:12,915 --> 00:18:13,999 It is nightfall. 406 00:18:14,082 --> 00:18:16,335 Nightfall? How can you tell down here? 407 00:18:16,627 --> 00:18:18,086 (WATER SPLASHING) 408 00:18:18,545 --> 00:18:20,088 The tide is coming in. 409 00:18:20,172 --> 00:18:22,299 Quiet. The beast approaches. 410 00:18:23,258 --> 00:18:24,927 (THUMPING FOOTSTEPS) 411 00:18:26,553 --> 00:18:28,096 (MUTANTS SCREAM) 412 00:18:31,433 --> 00:18:33,143 (FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE) 413 00:18:33,852 --> 00:18:35,229 (GASPING) 414 00:18:38,106 --> 00:18:39,149 Nibbler! 415 00:18:39,233 --> 00:18:40,984 Come here, precious. 416 00:18:41,318 --> 00:18:44,071 Look, everyone, it's El Chupanibre. 417 00:18:44,154 --> 00:18:46,281 - That's not El Chupanibre. - Say what? 418 00:18:46,365 --> 00:18:47,658 That's El Chupanibre. 419 00:18:47,991 --> 00:18:49,409 (GROWLING) 420 00:18:50,244 --> 00:18:51,537 (SCREAMING) 421 00:18:54,164 --> 00:18:55,749 I'll take care of this. 422 00:19:00,128 --> 00:19:01,129 (NIBBLER WHIMPERING) 423 00:19:01,213 --> 00:19:02,214 (SCREAMS) 424 00:19:02,381 --> 00:19:03,423 (SCREAMS SHRILLY) 425 00:19:05,050 --> 00:19:06,468 Bender, do something. 426 00:19:06,552 --> 00:19:07,844 I'm too scared. 427 00:19:07,928 --> 00:19:11,348 Leela, your scaredness is being transmitted straight to Bender. 428 00:19:11,431 --> 00:19:14,184 If you care about Nibbler, stop caring about him. 429 00:19:14,268 --> 00:19:15,310 I can't. 430 00:19:15,394 --> 00:19:16,895 I love every living creature. 431 00:19:16,979 --> 00:19:18,647 - Even me? - As a friend. 432 00:19:18,730 --> 00:19:20,607 - Damn. - (SOBS) 433 00:19:20,774 --> 00:19:21,942 Listen to me, Leela. 434 00:19:22,025 --> 00:19:23,860 I'm an expert at not caring. 435 00:19:23,944 --> 00:19:27,906 The secret is to stop giving a rat's ass about anyone else 436 00:19:27,990 --> 00:19:30,576 and start thinking of the things that you want, 437 00:19:30,659 --> 00:19:32,202 that you deserve, 438 00:19:32,286 --> 00:19:34,329 that the world owes you. 439 00:19:35,664 --> 00:19:37,958 Well, I could use a new tank top. 440 00:19:38,041 --> 00:19:39,543 Bigger. Bigger! 441 00:19:39,626 --> 00:19:41,295 A fashionable tank top, 442 00:19:41,378 --> 00:19:44,756 and designer boots encrusted with jewels. 443 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:45,841 Don't stop now. 444 00:19:45,924 --> 00:19:47,968 You'll need some pants to go with that outfit. 445 00:19:48,051 --> 00:19:49,052 Yeah. 446 00:19:49,136 --> 00:19:50,387 And I could afford it all 447 00:19:50,470 --> 00:19:53,265 if I didn't have to feed that stupid Nibbler. 448 00:19:53,348 --> 00:19:54,850 Bender is back. 449 00:19:54,933 --> 00:19:56,560 I'll save you, Nibbler. 450 00:20:03,317 --> 00:20:04,651 Oh. 451 00:20:06,278 --> 00:20:07,779 Bender's gonna be killed! 452 00:20:07,863 --> 00:20:09,281 You know what else I could use? 453 00:20:09,364 --> 00:20:11,658 A weekend at one of those fancy spas. 454 00:20:11,742 --> 00:20:12,784 And a Toblerone. 455 00:20:18,207 --> 00:20:19,208 (GROWLING) 456 00:20:27,799 --> 00:20:29,176 (TOILET FLUSHING) 457 00:20:29,384 --> 00:20:30,886 (EL CHUPANIBRE SCREAMING) 458 00:20:32,054 --> 00:20:33,513 Yay! You did it! 459 00:20:33,597 --> 00:20:34,806 (ALL CHEERING) 460 00:20:35,849 --> 00:20:38,060 Let's have a tissue tape parade. 461 00:20:38,143 --> 00:20:39,269 BENDER: No, thanks. 462 00:20:39,353 --> 00:20:40,479 (LOCK CLICKS) 463 00:20:46,026 --> 00:20:48,737 Gather 'round, children, to hear the legend of Bender. 464 00:20:49,780 --> 00:20:52,074 (SINGING) He came from above with... 465 00:20:52,157 --> 00:20:53,325 (STRING SNAPS) 466 00:20:53,408 --> 00:20:54,701 It's going to be many a year 467 00:20:54,785 --> 00:20:57,287 before someone flushes another guitar string. 468 00:21:00,374 --> 00:21:02,167 That was a disgusting story. 469 00:21:02,251 --> 00:21:04,127 And it's all thanks to Bender. 470 00:21:04,211 --> 00:21:05,420 I love you, Bender. 471 00:21:05,504 --> 00:21:06,922 I love you, too. 472 00:21:07,130 --> 00:21:10,634 Get that stupid chip out of me before I kill myself. 473 00:21:14,012 --> 00:21:16,014 Bender, you won't believe this, 474 00:21:16,098 --> 00:21:18,308 but the empathy chip burned out. 475 00:21:18,392 --> 00:21:22,062 The emotion you felt for Nibbler was actually your own. 476 00:21:22,479 --> 00:21:24,690 Huh. Looks like Bender learned an important lesson 477 00:21:24,773 --> 00:21:27,734 about respecting other people's feelings after all. 478 00:21:27,901 --> 00:21:29,319 ALL: Mm-hmm. 479 00:21:29,444 --> 00:21:30,904 No, I'm wrong. 480 00:21:30,988 --> 00:21:33,824 The empathy chip was running at triple capacity. 481 00:21:33,907 --> 00:21:36,243 And I still barely felt anything. 482 00:21:37,035 --> 00:21:38,495 Good night, losers. 483 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:43,000 You know, Bender may not have learned anything from me, 484 00:21:43,083 --> 00:21:45,878 but I think I actually learned something from him. 485 00:21:46,378 --> 00:21:48,046 So long, jerkwads! 486 00:21:48,589 --> 00:21:50,173 So long. 487 00:21:54,803 --> 00:21:56,805 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING)