1
00:00:02,344 --> 00:00:04,346
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:30,664
(JINGLE PLAYING)

3
00:00:30,747 --> 00:00:33,500
Call robo-rooter when you flush a towel

4
00:00:33,584 --> 00:00:36,837
And we can also help
With an impacted bowel

5
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:38,755
Robo-rooter

6
00:00:39,923 --> 00:00:41,508
Mm. Mm.

7
00:00:41,717 --> 00:00:44,261
Now this is what I call
1,000 years of progress.

8
00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:47,222
A Bavarian cream dog
that's also self-microwaving.

9
00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:50,309
- (BEEPS)
- (SLURPS, BURPS)

10
00:00:50,559 --> 00:00:53,478
Oh, geez, let's just pray
I have the energy

11
00:00:53,562 --> 00:00:55,731
- to get myself another beer.
- (BOTTLE CLATTERING)

12
00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:57,733
- (BEEPS)
- (WHIRRING)

13
00:01:01,111 --> 00:01:03,447
Oh, what is this? The middle ages?

14
00:01:04,156 --> 00:01:06,617
(STRAINING)

15
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,368
(GULPING)

16
00:01:10,495 --> 00:01:12,789
Look at you guys... No offense, Fry,

17
00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:14,666
but you've become a fat sack of crap.

18
00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:15,751
Sack!

19
00:01:15,834 --> 00:01:17,794
And, Bender, your beer belly's so big

20
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:19,880
- your door won't even close...
- (CREAKS)

21
00:01:20,255 --> 00:01:21,590
...and that doesn't even make sense.

22
00:01:21,673 --> 00:01:24,009
Come on, we're taking you pigs to the gym.

23
00:01:24,092 --> 00:01:26,887
The gymnasium? Excellent, excellent.

24
00:01:26,970 --> 00:01:30,724
For some reason,
I'm frisky as a squid on Tuesday.

25
00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:33,185
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

26
00:01:41,610 --> 00:01:42,945
(MAN PANTING)

27
00:01:49,493 --> 00:01:50,911
(GRUNTING)

28
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:55,999
Hey, who's up for a nice hot steam?

29
00:01:56,208 --> 00:01:59,044
(SHUDDERS)
We crustaceans don't like steam.

30
00:01:59,127 --> 00:02:01,505
I'm going to go work
out with the Nautilus.

31
00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:02,714
What up, Dr. Z?

32
00:02:02,798 --> 00:02:05,008
Yo, yo, yo, whassup? Whassup?
Give up the rock!

33
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:06,552
- (SCREECHES)
- (HUMMING)

34
00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:11,473
Coed steam rooms... I love the future!

35
00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:14,601
Uh, Fry, you're in the women's steam room.

36
00:02:14,726 --> 00:02:17,396
Ah... Futuristic.

37
00:02:17,479 --> 00:02:20,524
Psst. Look what life was like
before genetic engineering.

38
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,651
Those poor 20th-century women.

39
00:02:25,404 --> 00:02:26,697
Hey, handsome...

40
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,240
Is there room in there for two?

41
00:02:28,323 --> 00:02:30,492
(SNORTS) You wish.

42
00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:33,412
(GASPS)

43
00:02:33,495 --> 00:02:36,748
Hey, Leela, look who's the superstud.

44
00:02:36,873 --> 00:02:39,418
Hm. Somebody must have
turned down the gravity.

45
00:02:39,501 --> 00:02:40,711
I'll fix it for you.

46
00:02:42,421 --> 00:02:43,672
(CHOKING)

47
00:02:45,340 --> 00:02:46,466
Give me that.

48
00:02:46,550 --> 00:02:48,135
(GRUNTING)

49
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:52,598
More weight.

50
00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,979
Dr. Zoidberg,
what's that jazz on your head?

51
00:02:59,062 --> 00:03:01,481
Enough with the questions, more weight!

52
00:03:02,691 --> 00:03:04,067
More!

53
00:03:05,903 --> 00:03:06,945
More!

54
00:03:07,571 --> 00:03:08,780
(YELLING)

55
00:03:09,740 --> 00:03:12,326
Maybe you could do more reps
with less weight.

56
00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:13,785
(YELLS)

57
00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:15,954
(SCREAMING)

58
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:19,958
Hey, looks like Zoidberg's
finally coming out of his shell.

59
00:03:20,292 --> 00:03:21,919
- (LAUGHS) Get it?
- (PANTING)

60
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,420
He's coming out of...

61
00:03:23,545 --> 00:03:24,922
(YELLING)

62
00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:29,259
(PEDALS SQUEAKING)

63
00:03:29,593 --> 00:03:30,844
(YELLING MANIACALLY)

64
00:03:33,388 --> 00:03:34,723
(PEDALS SQUEAKING RAPIDLY)

65
00:03:35,599 --> 00:03:39,269
Nice and gentle.
We don't want any unnecessary stress.

66
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:40,687
(YELLING)

67
00:03:40,771 --> 00:03:42,064
(SCREAMING)

68
00:03:44,483 --> 00:03:46,360
- (WATER SPLASHING)
- (BABY CRYING)

69
00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:48,570
Is there a doctor in the gym?

70
00:03:48,654 --> 00:03:50,614
I'm a doctor!

71
00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:52,991
- (PEOPLE SCREAMING)
- (WATER SPLASHING)

72
00:03:53,158 --> 00:03:55,160
- (BABY CRYING)
- (BREATHING HEAVILY)

73
00:03:57,788 --> 00:03:59,331
(STRAINING)

74
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,335
I wonder why Dr. Zoidberg
is acting this way?

75
00:04:03,418 --> 00:04:05,796
Out of all of us,
he always seemed the most normal.

76
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:06,880
I am normal.

77
00:04:06,964 --> 00:04:09,299
Amy, take off these rubber bands

78
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:12,052
and I'll show you how normal I am.

79
00:04:12,135 --> 00:04:14,221
Fool me seven times, shame on you.

80
00:04:14,304 --> 00:04:16,807
Fool me eight or more times, shame on me.

81
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,475
Maybe he has a parasite.

82
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:20,143
Maybe he is a parasite!

83
00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:22,854
It's always so sad
when a friend goes crazy

84
00:04:22,938 --> 00:04:25,482
and you have to have
a big clambake and cook him!

85
00:04:25,607 --> 00:04:26,733
Yee-haw!

86
00:04:26,817 --> 00:04:28,944
Now, now, this won't do.

87
00:04:29,027 --> 00:04:31,530
Let me just give old Zoidie a sedative.

88
00:04:32,447 --> 00:04:33,991
Oh, much better.

89
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:36,243
You can take off these rubber bands now.

90
00:04:36,326 --> 00:04:38,161
- I'll do it.
- Stop! No!

91
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:39,329
Moron!

92
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:42,874
Mm-hm. Oh-oh. Aha!

93
00:04:43,041 --> 00:04:44,251
There's the problem.

94
00:04:44,334 --> 00:04:46,920
Give it to me straight, Professor.
Is it fin rot?

95
00:04:47,004 --> 00:04:48,297
It's fin rot, isn't it?

96
00:04:48,380 --> 00:04:49,715
Tell me it's not fin rot!

97
00:04:49,798 --> 00:04:53,176
Relax my chitiny chum. There's no problem.

98
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:56,179
You're just heavy with male jelly.

99
00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:57,389
Blegh.

100
00:04:57,472 --> 00:05:00,434
It must be mating season
for Zoidberg's people.

101
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:02,811
A chaotic time
when his behavior is dictated

102
00:05:02,895 --> 00:05:05,856
- by the tiny brain in his rump.
- Yuck.

103
00:05:06,231 --> 00:05:07,983
There's only one thing we can do...

104
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:09,610
I'll get the water boiling.

105
00:05:09,735 --> 00:05:11,486
We, by which I mean you,

106
00:05:11,570 --> 00:05:14,489
will have to rush him
to his ancient homeworld,

107
00:05:14,573 --> 00:05:15,949
which will shortly erupt

108
00:05:16,033 --> 00:05:18,535
in an orgy of invertebrate sex.

109
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:20,162
Oh, baby, I'm there!

110
00:05:20,245 --> 00:05:23,248
Fry, do you even understand
the word invertebrate?

111
00:05:23,332 --> 00:05:25,375
Nope, but that's not the word
I'm interested in.

112
00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:28,337
No need to pack pants, people! Let's roll!

113
00:05:28,420 --> 00:05:31,214
Dr. Zoidberg said
I should hold these while he's gone.

114
00:05:32,674 --> 00:05:34,843
- (DR. ZOIDBERG YELLING)
- (PEOPLE SCREAMING)

115
00:05:35,093 --> 00:05:36,553
DR. ZOIDBERG: Moron!

116
00:05:55,697 --> 00:05:57,157
Welcome home, old friend.

117
00:05:57,241 --> 00:05:59,952
Just 19 hours until the mating frenzy.

118
00:06:04,081 --> 00:06:05,916
Excellent, excellent.

119
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,167
See you there, Doctor...

120
00:06:07,251 --> 00:06:08,502
(CHITTERING)

121
00:06:08,710 --> 00:06:10,128
Is that how you say Zoidberg?

122
00:06:10,295 --> 00:06:11,838
(WAILING)

123
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:16,552
You didn't have to call attention
to his speech impediment.

124
00:06:16,635 --> 00:06:18,929
You're looking less nuts, crabby.

125
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:21,181
I'm feeling less nuts, thank you.

126
00:06:21,265 --> 00:06:24,059
Because tomorrow,
I will be depositing my jelly

127
00:06:24,142 --> 00:06:26,311
in the cloacal vents of a female,

128
00:06:26,395 --> 00:06:28,063
if you catch my drift.

129
00:06:28,146 --> 00:06:29,439
Who's the lucky lobsterina?

130
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:30,607
I don't know yet.

131
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,859
But I shall attract one this afternoon

132
00:06:32,943 --> 00:06:34,403
with an erotic display.

133
00:06:34,486 --> 00:06:37,781
It's amazing that your people
can fall in love so fast.

134
00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:40,325
Love? That word is unknown here.

135
00:06:40,409 --> 00:06:43,287
I'm simply looking
for a female swollen with eggs

136
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:45,414
to accept my genetic material.

137
00:06:45,497 --> 00:06:46,999
You and me both, brother.

138
00:06:47,583 --> 00:06:51,169
Ah. My old scuttling grounds.
Let's pull over.

139
00:06:57,384 --> 00:07:00,304
I used to hang out here as a larva.

140
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:03,181
It looked so much bigger back then.

141
00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:08,228
Who's the tough guy now, Vinnie?

142
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,440
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

143
00:07:16,111 --> 00:07:17,529
Look, outdoor theater.

144
00:07:17,613 --> 00:07:19,364
Let's get tickets. Oh, let's do.

145
00:07:19,448 --> 00:07:22,284
No, it's the ceremony of claw-plach,

146
00:07:22,367 --> 00:07:25,621
where my species
fight to the death over matters of honor.

147
00:07:25,704 --> 00:07:28,498
Also whether abbreviations
count in Scrabble.

148
00:07:28,624 --> 00:07:29,708
They don't.

149
00:07:29,791 --> 00:07:32,794
I didn't come here
to see any activity involving two guys.

150
00:07:32,878 --> 00:07:34,838
Where do you people do
your erotic display?

151
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,548
Same place as your species...

152
00:07:36,632 --> 00:07:37,841
The beach.

153
00:07:43,055 --> 00:07:45,098
- How do I look?
- Like whale barf.

154
00:07:45,224 --> 00:07:46,767
Then the illusion is complete.

155
00:07:48,477 --> 00:07:51,438
Hey, I wonder if these guys are here
to watch the erotic display, too.

156
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,190
(MUMBLING EXCITEDLY)

157
00:07:53,815 --> 00:07:56,318
Perfect. This ought to make me stand out.

158
00:07:57,986 --> 00:07:59,279
(SCREECHES)

159
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:01,114
(SCREECHING)

160
00:08:02,741 --> 00:08:03,867
(LAUGHS)

161
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,327
Look how ridiculous they look.

162
00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:08,747
Please, he's no different
from the rest of you organisms,

163
00:08:08,872 --> 00:08:11,959
shooting DNA at each other to make babies.

164
00:08:12,042 --> 00:08:13,502
I find it offensive.

165
00:08:14,002 --> 00:08:16,505
- (SCREECHES)
- Keep your jelly away from my eggs.

166
00:08:17,422 --> 00:08:19,925
- (SCREECHES)
- So not interested.

167
00:08:20,384 --> 00:08:21,802
- (SCREECHES)
- (SCOFFS)

168
00:08:21,885 --> 00:08:23,595
I've heard that line before.

169
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,390
Aw...

170
00:08:27,099 --> 00:08:28,976
(CHITTERING SOFTLY)

171
00:08:31,270 --> 00:08:32,312
(SCREECHES)

172
00:08:32,396 --> 00:08:34,147
What's the point?

173
00:08:34,439 --> 00:08:35,566
(SIGHS)

174
00:08:36,692 --> 00:08:38,777
Why is Zoidberg the only one still alone?

175
00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:40,946
'Cause he's a loser, that's why.

176
00:08:41,029 --> 00:08:43,240
He's the lobster equivalent of Fry.

177
00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:46,535
Hey, I can get any girl I want,
anytime I want.

178
00:08:46,618 --> 00:08:48,036
I'm just too busy.

179
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:51,999
(GRUMBLES)

180
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,668
(CHITTERS)

181
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:56,712
Edna.

182
00:08:56,795 --> 00:08:58,880
Edna, it's me, Zoidberg.

183
00:08:58,964 --> 00:09:00,841
Remember? From high school?

184
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,135
You used to laugh at me

185
00:09:03,218 --> 00:09:05,345
because my face was covered
with barnacles?

186
00:09:05,429 --> 00:09:06,763
(GASPS) Zoidberg?

187
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,974
Well, I didn't know you were back in town.

188
00:09:09,057 --> 00:09:11,602
I heard you went off
and became a rich doctor.

189
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:14,354
I've performed a few mercy killings.

190
00:09:14,438 --> 00:09:16,857
So, as long as I'm in town,

191
00:09:16,940 --> 00:09:18,483
I was wondering if maybe...

192
00:09:19,067 --> 00:09:21,486
- Craw?
- Oh, gee.

193
00:09:21,570 --> 00:09:25,449
Yeah, I'm just going through
a lot of things right now and...

194
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:26,742
Look, Zoidberg,

195
00:09:26,825 --> 00:09:29,119
I carry more eggs than any other female

196
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:30,787
and I owe it to our race

197
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:33,165
to pick a mate
who's stuffed with male jelly.

198
00:09:33,248 --> 00:09:34,583
Maybe a rock star.

199
00:09:34,666 --> 00:09:36,376
Or maybe a doctor.

200
00:09:36,460 --> 00:09:38,128
I'm sorry, Zoidberg.

201
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,589
You're just an inferior male specimen.

202
00:09:40,672 --> 00:09:42,633
Nice seeing you again.

203
00:09:45,594 --> 00:09:46,803
(SOBBING)

204
00:09:49,139 --> 00:09:51,808
No one will ever want to mate with me.

205
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,727
Not with a puny claw like this.

206
00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:55,687
Did you see those other guys?

207
00:09:55,771 --> 00:09:58,357
They look like giant claws
with bodies attached.

208
00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,359
At least you didn't smell as bad as them.

209
00:10:00,442 --> 00:10:01,860
You're right!

210
00:10:01,944 --> 00:10:04,571
My stink gland is weak. Smell.

211
00:10:04,655 --> 00:10:05,948
(GAGS)

212
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,783
Listen, Doc, if you want to score,

213
00:10:07,866 --> 00:10:09,618
you've got to fake like you're in love.

214
00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:12,371
Just look her in the eye,
start crying and say,

215
00:10:12,454 --> 00:10:15,290
"I've never been so happy."

216
00:10:15,374 --> 00:10:18,502
Oh, if a guy ever did that to me,
I'd know it.

217
00:10:19,127 --> 00:10:22,005
Wait a second.
They've all been doing that to me.

218
00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:24,508
Even Sean. (SOBBING)

219
00:10:26,802 --> 00:10:31,390
Hm. This "love" intrigues me.
Teach me to fake it.

220
00:10:32,558 --> 00:10:35,227
Okay, you're on a date.
What's the first thing you do?

221
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:36,687
Ask her to mate with me.

222
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:39,690
- No. Tell her she's special.
- But she's not.

223
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:42,693
She's merely the female
with the largest clutch of eggs.

224
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:44,528
Well, tell her that, and then...

225
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,863
- Then mating.
- No, make up some feelings

226
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,574
and tell her you have them.

227
00:10:49,324 --> 00:10:51,535
- Yes?
- Is desire to mate a feeling?

228
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:54,413
- Oh, you're not even trying.
- (GROANS)

229
00:10:54,580 --> 00:10:58,041
It's all so complicated
with the flowers and the romance

230
00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,294
and the lies upon lies...

231
00:11:00,377 --> 00:11:01,545
Okay, okay, don't worry.

232
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:04,923
The love-meister
will take you under his wing.

233
00:11:05,007 --> 00:11:07,551
What, now there's a bird involved?

234
00:11:09,845 --> 00:11:11,972
- Okay, go ahead.
- (GRUNTS)

235
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,603
What the... Dr. Zoidberg?

236
00:11:17,686 --> 00:11:19,730
Your mating display failed.

237
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:21,565
Why are you trying to talk to me?

238
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:22,941
I have no idea.

239
00:11:23,025 --> 00:11:25,444
(SOFTLY) You just want to talk.
It has nothing to do with mating.

240
00:11:25,527 --> 00:11:26,820
I just want to talk.

241
00:11:26,904 --> 00:11:28,614
It has nothing to do with mating.

242
00:11:28,697 --> 00:11:30,574
Fry, that doesn't make sense.

243
00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:33,994
Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense...
But okay.

244
00:11:34,077 --> 00:11:35,203
Start with a compliment.

245
00:11:35,287 --> 00:11:36,413
Tell her she looks thin.

246
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:37,956
You seem malnourished.

247
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,584
Are you suffering from internal parasites?

248
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:42,920
Why, yes. Thanks for noticing.

249
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,796
Now ask her how her day was.

250
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:46,256
Why would I want to know?

251
00:11:46,340 --> 00:11:47,758
You wouldn't. Ask anyway.

252
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,426
How was your day?

253
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:52,679
Well, first, I got up
and had a piece of toast,

254
00:11:52,763 --> 00:11:54,389
then I brushed my teeth,

255
00:11:54,473 --> 00:11:56,808
then I went to the store
to buy some fish, then I...

256
00:11:56,892 --> 00:11:58,060
Fry, look what you did.

257
00:11:58,143 --> 00:11:59,144
She won't shut up.

258
00:11:59,228 --> 00:12:02,439
That's normal.
Just nod your head and say, "Uh-huh."

259
00:12:02,564 --> 00:12:03,774
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

260
00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:06,276
And then you threw
an octopus at my window.

261
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:10,072
You know, Zoidberg, it's crazy,
but when you talk this way

262
00:12:10,155 --> 00:12:13,492
your obvious deficiencies
as a male seem...

263
00:12:13,575 --> 00:12:14,785
Less obvious.

264
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:17,037
Your genes seem less detrimental.

265
00:12:17,287 --> 00:12:18,372
(SNIFFING)

266
00:12:18,455 --> 00:12:19,957
You even stink more.

267
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,375
Do I ask her to mate now?

268
00:12:21,458 --> 00:12:22,459
Third date.

269
00:12:24,503 --> 00:12:26,213
So I returned his artificial heart

270
00:12:26,296 --> 00:12:27,589
and ever since then

271
00:12:27,673 --> 00:12:30,050
I've been known by the name
of Honest Bender.

272
00:12:30,342 --> 00:12:31,593
(LAUGHTER)

273
00:12:33,011 --> 00:12:37,724
I'd like to propose a toast to...
Coat check number 84.

274
00:12:37,808 --> 00:12:40,769
- Turn it over.
- Oh. Edna...

275
00:12:40,852 --> 00:12:44,731
Of all the slimy, gross crab monsters
on this planet,

276
00:12:44,815 --> 00:12:47,234
you are apparently the hottest.

277
00:12:47,442 --> 00:12:48,485
Oy.

278
00:12:48,569 --> 00:12:50,821
That's the most beautiful thing
I've ever heard.

279
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:55,075
Yes, well, excuse me.
I've got to powder my mouth flaps.

280
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,036
- (SIGHS)
- Uh, me, too.

281
00:12:58,120 --> 00:12:59,830
I'm confused, Fry.

282
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,374
I'm feeling a strange new emotion.

283
00:13:02,457 --> 00:13:06,295
Is it love when you care about a female
for reasons beyond mating?

284
00:13:06,378 --> 00:13:09,047
Nope. Must be some weird alien emotion.

285
00:13:09,214 --> 00:13:10,215
(WATER RUNNING)

286
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:14,761
Zoidberg said some dumb stuff,
but he's a nice guy, really.

287
00:13:14,845 --> 00:13:17,514
It's just that Fry's been
telling him what to say

288
00:13:17,598 --> 00:13:20,893
and Fry's a...
Do you have idiots on your planet?

289
00:13:20,976 --> 00:13:22,185
Fry?

290
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,521
You mean, words of such beauty

291
00:13:24,605 --> 00:13:27,482
came from the blowhole
of that hideous alien?

292
00:13:27,566 --> 00:13:28,817
Yeah. What?

293
00:13:29,192 --> 00:13:31,111
Look, never mind the words.

294
00:13:31,194 --> 00:13:32,821
Zoidberg's a doctor.

295
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:34,781
A doctor, honey.

296
00:13:46,043 --> 00:13:49,087
- (SONAR BEEP)
- EDNA: Come in. (GROWS PLAYFULLY)

297
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:51,173
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)

298
00:13:55,928 --> 00:13:57,304
Hello, Fry.

299
00:13:57,387 --> 00:14:01,892
Can I interest you in some surf and turf?

300
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:02,976
No, thanks.

301
00:14:03,101 --> 00:14:05,395
I just came to tell you
that Zoidberg's really great.

302
00:14:05,479 --> 00:14:07,564
He's got male jelly coming out the wazoo.

303
00:14:07,648 --> 00:14:11,151
Well, that is where it comes out,
but jelly isn't everything.

304
00:14:11,235 --> 00:14:14,363
I know Zoidberg's magical words
were really yours.

305
00:14:14,446 --> 00:14:18,784
Teach me to love you,
squishy poet from beyond the stars.

306
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,118
(FRY GASPS)

307
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:22,412
Uh, I'm flattered, really.

308
00:14:22,496 --> 00:14:24,623
If I was going to do it with a big,
freaky mud bug,

309
00:14:24,706 --> 00:14:26,041
you'd be way up the list.

310
00:14:26,124 --> 00:14:28,001
Hush, you romantic fool.

311
00:14:28,085 --> 00:14:30,587
Engage your mandibles and kiss me.

312
00:14:30,671 --> 00:14:31,964
(FRY GASPS)

313
00:14:32,047 --> 00:14:33,257
(FRY STRAINING)

314
00:14:37,094 --> 00:14:38,095
(KNOCK ON DOOR)

315
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:39,429
Edna?

316
00:14:39,513 --> 00:14:41,723
I couldn't stand it any longer. I...

317
00:14:41,807 --> 00:14:42,975
(SCREAMS)

318
00:14:44,434 --> 00:14:45,769
(GASPS, COUGHS)

319
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,354
Fry!

320
00:14:48,981 --> 00:14:51,275
Dr. Zoidberg, it's not how it looks.

321
00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:53,944
Her caviar is on your neck!

322
00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:55,696
- But...
- Oh, it's true, Zoidberg.

323
00:14:55,779 --> 00:14:57,864
We can't hide it any longer.

324
00:14:57,990 --> 00:15:00,617
Fry and I have fallen in love
and we're going to mate tomorrow.

325
00:15:00,701 --> 00:15:01,868
What?

326
00:15:01,952 --> 00:15:05,622
Fry, I challenge you to claw-plach.

327
00:15:07,416 --> 00:15:08,417
English, please?

328
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:10,586
A fight to the death.

329
00:15:12,254 --> 00:15:16,216
And if you survive, we'll make sweet love.

330
00:15:17,509 --> 00:15:18,802
(SCREAMING)

331
00:15:24,683 --> 00:15:26,894
The law is clear.

332
00:15:26,977 --> 00:15:30,022
Fry and Zoidberg shall fight to the death

333
00:15:30,105 --> 00:15:32,816
for the claw of the beautiful Edna!

334
00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:33,942
But I don't want her!

335
00:15:34,026 --> 00:15:37,487
Once invoked,
the sacred tradition of claw-plach

336
00:15:37,571 --> 00:15:39,114
cannot be taken back.

337
00:15:39,197 --> 00:15:42,242
It is a recent tradition,
only 18 years old,

338
00:15:42,326 --> 00:15:44,453
but it is a tradition nonetheless!

339
00:15:44,828 --> 00:15:46,371
(CROWD CHEERING)

340
00:15:55,756 --> 00:15:57,257
Get ready, Fry.

341
00:15:57,341 --> 00:16:00,844
I'm going to rip your swim bladder out
and show it to you.

342
00:16:00,928 --> 00:16:02,971
Dr. Zoidberg, this is madness!

343
00:16:03,055 --> 00:16:04,556
You're being irrational!

344
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,016
Of course I'm being irrational!

345
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,768
- I'm in love!
- Aw.

346
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:09,770
- Leela!
- Right, right.

347
00:16:09,853 --> 00:16:12,231
You have to stop this madness!

348
00:16:12,314 --> 00:16:15,567
Listen, lady, as you can plainly see,

349
00:16:15,651 --> 00:16:19,071
I'm a highly desirable male,
groaning with jelly,

350
00:16:19,154 --> 00:16:21,240
yet I embrace a life of celibacy

351
00:16:21,323 --> 00:16:23,700
in order to uphold our crazy traditions.

352
00:16:23,784 --> 00:16:26,036
One of your friends must die!

353
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:30,457
Fate is cruel and unyielding,
and what must be, must be.

354
00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:32,376
Taking all bets!

355
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:34,628
I'm giving nine to two on Zoidberg,

356
00:16:34,711 --> 00:16:37,172
the crab with the jab, the great red hope.

357
00:16:37,256 --> 00:16:39,049
- Come on, baby!
- (CLAMORING)

358
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:41,635
Fry, it's been years since medical school,

359
00:16:41,718 --> 00:16:44,429
so remind me:
disemboweling in your species...

360
00:16:44,513 --> 00:16:46,557
- Fatal or non-fatal?
- Fatal.

361
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,226
Large bet on myself in round one!

362
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:54,189
Edna, have you anything to say
before begins the claw-plach?

363
00:16:54,273 --> 00:16:55,440
I do.

364
00:16:55,524 --> 00:16:57,568
I just want to say that today I got up

365
00:16:57,651 --> 00:16:59,069
and I had a piece of toast.

366
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,696
Then I brushed my teeth...

367
00:17:00,779 --> 00:17:01,947
Shut up!

368
00:17:02,030 --> 00:17:03,699
I love you, Fry!

369
00:17:03,782 --> 00:17:06,535
No!

370
00:17:06,618 --> 00:17:10,122
Fry, having guessed what animal
I was thinking of,

371
00:17:10,205 --> 00:17:13,000
you shall have first choice of weapon.

372
00:17:13,083 --> 00:17:14,626
(STRAINING)

373
00:17:15,752 --> 00:17:18,964
FRY: Uh-huh. Mm... Ah.

374
00:17:21,466 --> 00:17:22,593
And you, Doctor?

375
00:17:22,676 --> 00:17:24,511
I choose my own claws.

376
00:17:24,595 --> 00:17:28,640
I want the tactile pleasure of chopping
him right here, in the gonads.

377
00:17:28,724 --> 00:17:30,392
Shh. Nobody correct him!

378
00:17:31,602 --> 00:17:34,479
Fry, I've never asked you
for anything before,

379
00:17:34,563 --> 00:17:36,023
but if it's not too much trouble,

380
00:17:36,106 --> 00:17:37,900
when it comes to the ninth round,

381
00:17:37,983 --> 00:17:39,067
just let him win.

382
00:17:39,151 --> 00:17:40,611
But it's a fight to the death!

383
00:17:40,694 --> 00:17:43,363
Oh, so suddenly this is all about you!

384
00:17:43,488 --> 00:17:44,698
Sheesh.

385
00:17:44,781 --> 00:17:47,200
Please rise for the national anthem.

386
00:17:47,409 --> 00:17:49,202
(SOARING ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)

387
00:17:51,079 --> 00:17:52,080
Uh-oh.

388
00:17:53,707 --> 00:17:57,169
Let claw-plach begin!

389
00:17:57,461 --> 00:17:59,796
- (CROWD CHEERING)
- (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

390
00:18:01,715 --> 00:18:03,050
(GRUNTING)

391
00:18:05,802 --> 00:18:08,597
(GRUNTING)

392
00:18:09,014 --> 00:18:10,224
(GROANS)

393
00:18:10,349 --> 00:18:11,767
Aha.

394
00:18:13,310 --> 00:18:14,478
Oh!

395
00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:18,148
(GROANS) Hey.

396
00:18:19,441 --> 00:18:20,734
(CHUCKLES MISCHIEVOUSLY)

397
00:18:21,818 --> 00:18:22,903
Ow.

398
00:18:24,446 --> 00:18:26,698
- (GRUNTS)
- (LAUGHS)

399
00:18:30,369 --> 00:18:31,620
(SCREAMS)

400
00:18:31,787 --> 00:18:33,038
(FRY PANTING)

401
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:35,999
(CHEERING)

402
00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:37,960
Come on, Fry!

403
00:18:38,043 --> 00:18:39,503
Die with dignity!

404
00:18:40,921 --> 00:18:42,172
Aha.

405
00:18:42,631 --> 00:18:43,632
Oops.

406
00:18:46,301 --> 00:18:47,803
(BOTH STRAINING)

407
00:18:48,470 --> 00:18:52,432
No! I can't stand to look!

408
00:18:52,558 --> 00:18:54,393
Huh? Huh...

409
00:18:55,519 --> 00:18:56,603
(CROWD GASPING)

410
00:18:56,687 --> 00:18:57,771
(BONE CRACKS)

411
00:18:57,854 --> 00:18:59,773
- Crack him open!
- Kill him!

412
00:18:59,856 --> 00:19:02,067
Psst. Fry, take a dive!

413
00:19:03,277 --> 00:19:04,486
- (SHUDDERS)
- (BONE CRACKS)

414
00:19:04,570 --> 00:19:07,489
CROWD: Claw-plach, claw-plach, claw-plach!

415
00:19:07,781 --> 00:19:09,074
(CHOKING)

416
00:19:13,579 --> 00:19:14,705
(CROWD GASPING)

417
00:19:14,788 --> 00:19:16,415
My fellow fish monsters,

418
00:19:16,498 --> 00:19:19,376
far be it from me to question
your stupid civilization

419
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,502
or its dumb customs

420
00:19:20,586 --> 00:19:22,671
but is squeezing each other's brains out

421
00:19:22,754 --> 00:19:25,549
with a giant nutcracker
really going to solve anything?

422
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:28,051
Dr. Zoidberg is my friend

423
00:19:28,135 --> 00:19:29,928
and though a woman has come between us,

424
00:19:30,012 --> 00:19:32,097
I say we'll always remain friends.

425
00:19:32,222 --> 00:19:33,807
And do you know why?

426
00:19:33,932 --> 00:19:35,642
One reason.

427
00:19:39,730 --> 00:19:40,731
You bastard!

428
00:19:40,814 --> 00:19:41,815
I'll kill you!

429
00:19:41,899 --> 00:19:43,817
- You bastard!
- (GROANING)

430
00:19:51,617 --> 00:19:55,412
Wait, stop! Everyone is gone!

431
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,664
Edna? Honey?

432
00:19:59,791 --> 00:20:01,126
(DISTANT SCREECHING)

433
00:20:02,878 --> 00:20:03,879
(GASPING)

434
00:20:04,129 --> 00:20:05,422
Edna!

435
00:20:05,589 --> 00:20:06,757
(CHITTERING SOFTLY)

436
00:20:13,847 --> 00:20:15,098
(EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)

437
00:20:15,182 --> 00:20:16,350
My God!

438
00:20:16,433 --> 00:20:19,311
The frenzy! Aw...

439
00:20:19,436 --> 00:20:23,232
The greatest experience in life
and I missed it.

440
00:20:23,398 --> 00:20:24,775
(SOBBING)

441
00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:27,236
Aw, I'm sorry, Doc.

442
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:28,946
(BIRDS CAWING)

443
00:20:30,072 --> 00:20:32,282
Ow, ow! Ah.

444
00:20:33,909 --> 00:20:35,744
The frenzy is over.

445
00:20:35,827 --> 00:20:38,830
How will I ever get rid
of my male jelly now?

446
00:20:38,914 --> 00:20:40,666
- I'll lend you this.
- Fry!

447
00:20:40,916 --> 00:20:42,125
Hey, hey!

448
00:20:42,501 --> 00:20:43,835
Shoo, get away!

449
00:20:43,919 --> 00:20:47,297
Hey! What's with the flying jerks?

450
00:20:47,381 --> 00:20:49,466
They come to feast after the frenzy.

451
00:20:49,591 --> 00:20:53,470
Once my species passes on its genes,
it dies.

452
00:20:55,430 --> 00:20:56,598
You mean you have to choose

453
00:20:56,682 --> 00:20:58,934
between a life without sex
and a gruesome death?

454
00:20:59,017 --> 00:21:00,978
- Yes.
- Tough call.

455
00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:05,148
Well, it was nice of you

456
00:21:05,232 --> 00:21:07,276
to let me reattach your arm, Fry.

457
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:10,946
Especially after I made
a complete eel out of myself.

458
00:21:11,029 --> 00:21:12,573
- No biggie.
- Yes, biggie.

459
00:21:12,698 --> 00:21:15,576
I learned to feel things
I've never felt before...

460
00:21:15,701 --> 00:21:19,496
Love, jealousy, passion for disemboweling.

461
00:21:19,621 --> 00:21:21,456
I owe it all to you.

462
00:21:22,291 --> 00:21:25,544
There. I pronounce the operation
a success.

463
00:21:25,627 --> 00:21:27,004
- Hooray!
- Yeah!

464
00:21:27,129 --> 00:21:28,130
(LAUGHS)

465
00:21:28,213 --> 00:21:29,798
I may not know from emotions

466
00:21:29,881 --> 00:21:33,010
but when it comes to medicine?
Forget about it.

467
00:21:33,385 --> 00:21:35,053
I don't mean to nitpick, super-doc,

468
00:21:35,137 --> 00:21:38,473
but do you think maybe
you could take one more whack at this?

469
00:21:38,557 --> 00:21:41,476
For you, my friend? Anything.

470
00:21:41,852 --> 00:21:43,312
- (DEVICE ZAPPING)
- (FRY SCREAMS)

471
00:21:43,437 --> 00:21:44,521
FRY: My legs!

472
00:21:44,605 --> 00:21:47,774
DR. ZOIDBERG: All right, all right.
Third time's the charm.

473
00:21:47,858 --> 00:21:49,151
- (DEVICE WHIRRING)
- (THUDS)

474
00:21:54,156 --> 00:21:56,158
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)