1
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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
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Fourscore and 1,145 years ago,

3
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our forefathers' foreheads
conceived a new nation.

4
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And this Presidents' Day,
we honoreth those values

5
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that my body fought and died for.

6
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Values like this brand-new Plymouth Vager.

7
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Hi, I'm Malfunctioning Eddie,

8
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and I'm malfunctioning so badly,

9
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I'm practically giving these cars away.

10
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Hey, let's go car shopping.

11
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My parents promised if I got all B's,
they'd buy me a bar,

12
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and I got all C's.

13
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Mind if I tag along?

14
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I've got to bring my ass in for servicing.

15
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The recall notice says it could burst
into flame in a low-speed collision.

16
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No wonder you've been staying
at the back of conga lines lately.

17
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I'll get my coat.

18
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Let's go, Bender.

19
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(ALL YELPING)

20
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Hello. I am Victor,

21
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and I know many things
about the art of unloading

22
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fine cars on beautiful women.

23
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Uh-huh...

24
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Now tell her she's witty
and sophisticated.

25
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Ah, ah, ah. A gentlemen always
sells a lady a car first.

26
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This is the Beta Romeo.

27
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Yes, the Beta Romeo.

28
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Note the cross-your-heart seat belt

29
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which protects, lifts and separates.

30
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(SLURPING)

31
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Spotted her the minute
you walked in, didn't you, sir?

32
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She's a real beauty.

33
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Yeah, she's beautiful coffee all right.

34
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No, the Ford Thunder-Cougar-Falcon-bird.

35
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Nothing makes you feel more like a man

36
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than a Thunder-Cougar-Falcon-bird.

37
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So, how much were you thinking
of spending on this?

38
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Sorry. I'm not here to buy.

39
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I understand.
It's wonderful that you don't care

40
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whether anyone questions
your sexual orientation.

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I care. I care plenty!
I just don't know how to make them stop.

42
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One word...

43
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Thunder-Cougar-Falcon-bird.

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The luxurious seats
are stuffed with eagle down.

45
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And the dashboard inlaid
with the beaks of a thousand eagles.

46
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Also, there are some eagles
under the floorboards.

47
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That's an awful lot of eagle.

48
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Yes, and yet...

49
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(SIGHS)

50
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What's wrong?

51
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It is just that the luxury edition
has so much more eagle.

52
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It saddens me to think of you missing out.

53
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Oh, don't be sad.

54
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My parents are paying
and they're incredibly rich.

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BENDER: (VIBRATING) Ow... Ow...

56
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I installed shock-absorbing bumpers

57
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to reduce the risk
of catastrophic butt failure.

58
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(GASPS) You, sir, have defaced
a national treasure.

59
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I demand you restore my buttocks

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to their former glory! (WHISTLES)

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All right, but sooner or later
that ass is going to blow,

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and when it does, I just pray

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you're not mooning someone you care about.

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Smeesh, Leela,

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this car has everything
a beautiful woman like me needs.

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Victor said so.

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(CHUCKLES)
No dog food for Victor tonight.

68
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Okay. The sticker says 55,000,

69
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but we'll only go as high as, say...

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Sixty thousand!

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- (GROANS)
- Oh...

72
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I will have to ask my manager.

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Amy, you don't go up
from the sticker price.

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I thought it was an auction.

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He is not too happy.

76
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I'm sorry.

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Eighty thousand?

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AMY: Uh-oh.

79
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I'm terrible at parallel parking.

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HERMES: And now you're asking
for a day off?

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Get out of my and my sight.

82
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You're bogarting my patience.

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Hermes, who were you yelling at?

84
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Meself. I asked meself
for Valentine's Day off,

85
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but I was in no mood
for any of my shenanigans.

86
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Valentine's Day is coming?

87
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Oh, crap.

88
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I forgot to get a girlfriend again.

89
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Well, since neither of us has a date,
why don't we...

90
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You just assume
I can't get a Valentine's date?

91
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Shall we say 8:00?

92
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Hey, I'm taking my new car out
for a spin to Mercury.

93
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- Anybody want to come?
- Yeah, okay. What's the weather like?

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The usual. Boiling lead, oceans of lava.

95
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So, what? Shorts?

96
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(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

97
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Boy, this AC is incredible.

98
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(SHIVERING)

99
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I'd better turn on the heater, too.

100
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Boy, this heater is incredible.

101
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I'd better turn up the AC some more.

102
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Hey, how about some icy margaritas?

103
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Yeah.

104
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We're slowing down.

105
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Don't worry, I'll hit the fuel guzzler.

106
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Who wants Pop-Tarts?

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(ENGINE POWERING DOWN)

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(ENGINE FALTERING)

109
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Oh!

110
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FRY: Uh-oh.

111
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It's okay. I have an emergency phone.

112
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What are you doing?

113
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Spluh, it's a video-phone.

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(DIALING)

115
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Lucky I'm a member of the Austro-Afro
Antarctico-Amerasian Auto Association.

116
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Hello? Septuple-A?

117
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Phew!

118
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Oh, it'll be a couple hours.

119
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Oh! I'm going to get sweat
on my sweat suit.

120
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Hey, tell me something.

121
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You've got all this money,

122
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how come you always dress
like you're doing your laundry?

123
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I guess 'cause my parents keep
telling me to be more ladylike.

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(SCOFFS) As though.

125
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I've been there.

126
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My folks were always on me to groom myself

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and wear underpants.

128
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What am I, the Pope?

129
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(SNORTS) Yeah. And if you were the Pope

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they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat,"

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and "Put on your good vestments."

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(LAUGHING)

133
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You know, Fry,

134
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it's nice to find someone
I can talk to about stuff and junk.

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Yeah, it's like we feel
the same way about junk and stuff,

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or whatever.

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Oh, ho!

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(GROANS)

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So while they're towing us,

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- you want to do it?
- Yeah!

141
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TOW TRUCK DRIVER:
Yo, ho, ho, ho, ho!

142
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Which concludes the summary
of the movie I saw last night.

143
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Now, any old business?

144
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- ALL: No.
- Any new business?

145
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ALL: No.

146
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Anyone spend the night together?

147
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- ALL: No.
- Yep.

148
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- Kind of.
- (ALL GASPING)

149
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- What?
- Oh, my God!

150
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We ran out of fuel on Mercury
and one thing led to another.

151
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And it led there again when we got home.

152
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(BOTH CHUCKLING AWKWARDLY)

153
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Congratulations, Fry.

154
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You snagged the perfect girlfriend.

155
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Amy is rich.

156
00:07:58,038 --> 00:08:00,499
She's probably got other characteristics.

157
00:08:00,582 --> 00:08:03,043
Bender! Romance isn't about money.

158
00:08:03,126 --> 00:08:05,170
Oh, so it's just coincidence

159
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that Zoidberg here is desperately poor

160
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and miserably lonely?

161
00:08:08,924 --> 00:08:09,967
Please.

162
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For your information,
it's because he's hideous.

163
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(DR. ZOIDBERG GROANS)

164
00:08:14,763 --> 00:08:18,058
Well, I think Fry and Amy go together
like a lime and a coconut.

165
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Do I hear wedding bells?

166
00:08:20,435 --> 00:08:21,645
What? No!

167
00:08:21,728 --> 00:08:23,981
Really? Oh, dear.

168
00:08:24,106 --> 00:08:26,692
Oh... You're both very lucky.

169
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I'd pay anything to end
my miserable loneliness,

170
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if only I weren't so desperately poor.

171
00:08:33,156 --> 00:08:36,410
Wait. You mean people
will pay good money for romance?

172
00:08:36,535 --> 00:08:40,289
Hmm, I think I have a scheme
so deviously clever that I...

173
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Five hundred dollars and time served.

174
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Stupid anti-pimping laws.

175
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Well, pay the man.

176
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HOOKER: Bender, honey, we love you.

177
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BENDER: Sure, baby, I know it.

178
00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:56,930
Ah! Computer dating.

179
00:08:57,014 --> 00:09:00,726
It's like pimping, but you rarely
have to use the phrase "Upside your head."

180
00:09:00,809 --> 00:09:02,269
Bender, this is stupid.

181
00:09:02,352 --> 00:09:04,730
Why would anyone come to you
for romantic help?

182
00:09:04,813 --> 00:09:06,857
Hey! Don't make me go upside your head!

183
00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:10,527
Fry! Amy!

184
00:09:10,611 --> 00:09:13,947
Put your pants back on!
I need a stapler! (GRUNTS)

185
00:09:14,156 --> 00:09:15,365
Stop. Stop!

186
00:09:15,449 --> 00:09:18,660
If you interrupt the mating dance,
the male will become enraged

187
00:09:18,744 --> 00:09:21,079
and maul us with his fearsome gonad.

188
00:09:21,163 --> 00:09:23,332
It's working. They think we're making out.

189
00:09:23,457 --> 00:09:24,708
(BOTH LAUGHING)

190
00:09:25,918 --> 00:09:27,711
Wait. Why aren't we making out?

191
00:09:27,794 --> 00:09:28,795
I don't know.

192
00:09:28,921 --> 00:09:29,922
(AMY MOANING)

193
00:09:32,174 --> 00:09:33,842
Okay, mister...

194
00:09:33,926 --> 00:09:34,927
Smith.

195
00:09:35,010 --> 00:09:36,720
Zapp Smith. Brannigan.

196
00:09:36,803 --> 00:09:39,598
Just check off the things
you're looking for in a love partner.

197
00:09:39,681 --> 00:09:41,141
Let's see.

198
00:09:41,224 --> 00:09:42,225
Oh, yes.

199
00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:44,061
Yes, definitely.

200
00:09:44,478 --> 00:09:45,979
Mmm, I'd like some of that.

201
00:09:46,271 --> 00:09:49,983
Mmm! I'll just have everything
on the menu.

202
00:09:50,901 --> 00:09:55,030
Now, to run it through
our high-speed romance-alogical datafier.

203
00:09:56,281 --> 00:09:57,658
(IMITATES MACHINE BEEPING)

204
00:10:00,994 --> 00:10:01,995
Beep.

205
00:10:02,371 --> 00:10:04,456
Say hello to Miss Right.

206
00:10:04,539 --> 00:10:05,624
Hello.

207
00:10:06,041 --> 00:10:07,834
(MOANING)

208
00:10:10,087 --> 00:10:11,088
Wow.

209
00:10:11,171 --> 00:10:12,381
We're great kissers.

210
00:10:12,756 --> 00:10:13,757
Yeah.

211
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,343
Hey, later, you want
to drive out to Europa?

212
00:10:16,426 --> 00:10:18,929
We could have a picnic
and spit watermelon seeds at Jupiter.

213
00:10:19,012 --> 00:10:22,307
Hey, yeah. I used to spit at stuff
back in the 20th century.

214
00:10:22,975 --> 00:10:25,561
Ah, it's cool how we
sort of think exactly alike,

215
00:10:25,644 --> 00:10:26,979
- and junk.
- Yeah.

216
00:10:27,062 --> 00:10:29,356
You know, Fry, I really like
hanging out with you.

217
00:10:32,067 --> 00:10:33,235
FRY: Everything was going great.

218
00:10:33,318 --> 00:10:35,988
Then all of a sudden,
she's talking about hanging out.

219
00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:37,864
(SCOFFS) "Hanging out"?

220
00:10:37,948 --> 00:10:39,616
She's getting way too serious.

221
00:10:39,825 --> 00:10:41,368
I'm not a one-woman man, Leela.

222
00:10:41,451 --> 00:10:43,537
You'll be back to zero soon enough.

223
00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:45,706
Don't you get it? She's smothering me.

224
00:10:45,789 --> 00:10:47,416
- Hi.
- You see? You see?

225
00:10:47,499 --> 00:10:49,251
Now she's bothering me when I'm at work.

226
00:10:49,334 --> 00:10:51,920
- Fry.
- I'm doing my job... There's Amy.

227
00:10:52,004 --> 00:10:55,132
I spend a few hours selecting
a candy from the machine... There's Amy.

228
00:10:55,215 --> 00:10:57,175
I wake up the morning
after sleeping with Amy...

229
00:10:57,259 --> 00:10:59,553
- There's Amy.
- I think you're overreacting.

230
00:10:59,636 --> 00:11:00,637
Am I?

231
00:11:00,721 --> 00:11:01,722
Am I!

232
00:11:01,805 --> 00:11:03,890
Face it. I'm a prize catch. (BURPS)

233
00:11:04,182 --> 00:11:06,643
I mean, I'm pulling down
delivery-boy money.

234
00:11:07,019 --> 00:11:09,771
Fry, she's pulling down
billionaire trust-fund money.

235
00:11:09,855 --> 00:11:11,648
Then she wants me as a trophy husband.

236
00:11:11,732 --> 00:11:13,942
Leela, you gotta come to Europa with us.

237
00:11:14,026 --> 00:11:15,444
I can't be alone with her.

238
00:11:15,736 --> 00:11:18,363
So, ready for a secluded picnic
with just you and me?

239
00:11:18,447 --> 00:11:21,533
Hey, you know who loves
secluded picnics with just you and me?

240
00:11:22,659 --> 00:11:23,660
Uh...

241
00:11:23,827 --> 00:11:24,828
Dr. Zoidberg.

242
00:11:25,913 --> 00:11:29,207
Did someone say something
about a free hot meal?

243
00:11:29,291 --> 00:11:33,045
(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING)

244
00:11:36,506 --> 00:11:38,508
(MUNCHING LOUDLY)

245
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:41,470
Mmm, I haven't eaten since Tuesday.

246
00:11:41,762 --> 00:11:44,056
Bird eggs, animal slices,

247
00:11:45,265 --> 00:11:46,892
dry woven reeds.

248
00:11:48,977 --> 00:11:49,978
All gone.

249
00:11:50,062 --> 00:11:51,605
- Can I drive?
- No.

250
00:11:51,688 --> 00:11:53,440
So, Fry, you busy tomorrow?

251
00:11:53,523 --> 00:11:55,234
I got two tickets to the big ape fight.

252
00:11:55,317 --> 00:11:58,445
Geez, we're already planning
to spend Valentine's Day together.

253
00:11:58,528 --> 00:12:00,864
- Isn't that enough?
- Okay. Sure.

254
00:12:01,406 --> 00:12:03,075
What do you want to do
for Valentine's Day?

255
00:12:03,158 --> 00:12:05,786
Oh, so all of a sudden
we're spending Valentine's Day together?

256
00:12:05,869 --> 00:12:08,330
- But you just said...
- That's it, Amy, we have to talk.

257
00:12:08,413 --> 00:12:09,581
Zoidberg, you drive.

258
00:12:09,748 --> 00:12:10,749
Wahoo.

259
00:12:11,291 --> 00:12:12,751
FRY: Pardon me. Excuse me.

260
00:12:13,585 --> 00:12:17,130
Ah, I'll just turn the wheel
to maximum fastness.

261
00:12:18,298 --> 00:12:20,759
Amy, you know how,
at first, you like chocolate

262
00:12:20,842 --> 00:12:22,386
but then you start to get tired of it

263
00:12:22,469 --> 00:12:24,096
'cause it always wants
to hang out with you?

264
00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:27,766
- Huh? You don't like chocolate?
- Look, could chocolate just let me finish?

265
00:12:28,016 --> 00:12:29,476
DR. ZOIDBERG: Vroom, vroom.

266
00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:32,187
And the winner of the big car race is

267
00:12:32,271 --> 00:12:34,731
hot rod Zoidberg!

268
00:12:34,898 --> 00:12:36,066
(IMITATES FANS YELLING)

269
00:12:36,608 --> 00:12:38,402
Amy, what I'm trying to say is,

270
00:12:38,485 --> 00:12:40,487
I think, maybe you and I should stop...

271
00:12:40,612 --> 00:12:41,905
- (METALLIC SNAP)
- DR. ZOIDBERG: Uh-oh.

272
00:12:42,155 --> 00:12:43,282
Here, you drive.

273
00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:49,871
(SCREAMING)

274
00:12:50,622 --> 00:12:51,623
(CRASHING)

275
00:12:55,210 --> 00:12:57,254
Fry, are you all right?

276
00:12:57,379 --> 00:12:58,380
(GROANS)

277
00:12:58,964 --> 00:13:00,632
My head is killing me.

278
00:13:01,133 --> 00:13:02,968
What happened? Was anybody hurt?

279
00:13:03,051 --> 00:13:04,136
No, no, no, no, no.

280
00:13:04,219 --> 00:13:05,387
Of course not.

281
00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:06,847
Nobody but you.

282
00:13:06,930 --> 00:13:10,100
I'm afraid your body
was badly damaged in the crash.

283
00:13:10,183 --> 00:13:12,519
- How badly?
- That's it over there.

284
00:13:14,021 --> 00:13:15,939
- (SCREAMS)
- Don't worry.

285
00:13:16,023 --> 00:13:19,151
I managed to keep your head alive
with some quick surgery.

286
00:13:19,234 --> 00:13:21,278
- Where is it?
- There.

287
00:13:22,029 --> 00:13:24,948
Looks like we'll be spending
a lot more time together, Fry.

288
00:13:25,115 --> 00:13:26,491
(SCREAMING)

289
00:13:31,371 --> 00:13:34,124
(CLICKING TONGUE)
This sort of thing always happens

290
00:13:34,207 --> 00:13:35,626
with office romances.

291
00:13:35,709 --> 00:13:36,835
Don't worry, Fry,

292
00:13:36,919 --> 00:13:39,880
we'll have your body
all fixed up in a few days.

293
00:13:40,213 --> 00:13:41,381
Oops-a-daisy.

294
00:13:44,259 --> 00:13:47,012
Well, Amy, I'll try not to interfere
with your life too much.

295
00:13:47,471 --> 00:13:49,306
- Fry!
- Oh, sorry.

296
00:13:49,389 --> 00:13:50,974
I guess I control that arm.

297
00:13:51,224 --> 00:13:52,559
(WHOOPING)

298
00:13:53,518 --> 00:13:56,521
So, what was it you wanted to talk about
before we crashed, anyway?

299
00:13:56,605 --> 00:13:57,898
Oh, that.

300
00:13:57,981 --> 00:13:59,691
Maybe we'd better talk in private.

301
00:14:00,192 --> 00:14:01,735
I'll meet you in the closet.

302
00:14:02,611 --> 00:14:04,029
Amy, I really like you

303
00:14:04,112 --> 00:14:05,322
as a friend,

304
00:14:05,405 --> 00:14:07,616
but I think we're spending
too much time together.

305
00:14:07,699 --> 00:14:09,201
You're breaking up with me?

306
00:14:09,284 --> 00:14:11,495
I just think we should
start seeing other people.

307
00:14:11,578 --> 00:14:13,830
But, I was really having fun.

308
00:14:14,998 --> 00:14:16,291
If that's how you feel...

309
00:14:16,375 --> 00:14:18,043
I'm sorry, but it is.

310
00:14:18,794 --> 00:14:20,045
Well, whatever.

311
00:14:20,128 --> 00:14:22,256
Hey, listen, as long as
we're not seeing each other,

312
00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:24,508
you mind if I ask
someone else out for Valentine's Day?

313
00:14:25,008 --> 00:14:27,803
I mean, unless it'd make you
feel bad being a third wheel.

314
00:14:27,886 --> 00:14:29,680
Hey, I can get a date, too.

315
00:14:30,013 --> 00:14:32,474
Now that I'm single
I'll attract all sorts of women.

316
00:14:32,557 --> 00:14:33,642
With my body,

317
00:14:33,725 --> 00:14:36,270
I think you might only attract
one sort of woman.

318
00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:37,354
Oh!

319
00:14:37,980 --> 00:14:38,981
Oh.

320
00:14:39,273 --> 00:14:40,566
(BENDER GULPING)

321
00:14:43,443 --> 00:14:44,444
So...

322
00:14:44,528 --> 00:14:45,529
How's business?

323
00:14:47,531 --> 00:14:50,450
Are you familiar with my friend Al Gore?

324
00:14:50,534 --> 00:14:51,618
I'm telling you,

325
00:14:51,702 --> 00:14:54,413
losers get really desperate
around Valentine's Day.

326
00:14:54,496 --> 00:14:56,832
Yeah. It's pathetic, all right.

327
00:14:58,333 --> 00:14:59,585
(WHISTLING)

328
00:15:00,335 --> 00:15:01,712
(SCATTING)

329
00:15:02,004 --> 00:15:03,380
- How much?
- Five hundred bucks.

330
00:15:03,463 --> 00:15:05,382
- Done.
- Zapp Brannigan okay?

331
00:15:05,465 --> 00:15:06,592
- No.
- Six hundred.

332
00:15:08,594 --> 00:15:10,137
(BOTH GRUNTING)

333
00:15:15,976 --> 00:15:17,019
Oh, hey, Leela.

334
00:15:17,311 --> 00:15:18,353
Can I talk to you for a minute,

335
00:15:18,854 --> 00:15:19,897
in private?

336
00:15:20,022 --> 00:15:21,732
Oh. No problem.

337
00:15:22,524 --> 00:15:24,026
(SCATTING)

338
00:15:25,527 --> 00:15:26,778
This is an emergency.

339
00:15:26,862 --> 00:15:29,197
Amy made Valentine's plans with some goon

340
00:15:29,281 --> 00:15:31,825
and I'm going to be stuck there
lonely and miserable.

341
00:15:31,909 --> 00:15:33,410
Will you be my date?

342
00:15:33,493 --> 00:15:34,494
Please?

343
00:15:34,786 --> 00:15:35,954
You're too late, Fry.

344
00:15:36,038 --> 00:15:39,249
I'm sharing Valentine's Day
with a very special man.

345
00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:40,876
He's not Zapp Brannigan or anything.

346
00:15:40,959 --> 00:15:42,628
Then I have no choice but to do something

347
00:15:42,711 --> 00:15:45,464
so pitiful and embarrassing
that I'm ashamed to tell you about it.

348
00:15:45,547 --> 00:15:47,174
- Bender is in his office.
- Thanks.

349
00:15:47,549 --> 00:15:49,051
(SCATTING ANGRILY)

350
00:15:50,510 --> 00:15:52,220
I got your hookup, Fry.

351
00:15:52,304 --> 00:15:54,389
Now, my usual fee is 500 bucks,

352
00:15:54,723 --> 00:15:56,224
but seeing as how it's you,

353
00:15:56,308 --> 00:15:57,809
I'll need it in advance.

354
00:16:00,854 --> 00:16:03,607
Okay, Fry, we're done putting on the bra.

355
00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:06,235
Why exactly did you
shave your legs, anyway?

356
00:16:06,318 --> 00:16:09,071
Are you expecting something to happen
with your Valentine's date?

357
00:16:09,154 --> 00:16:10,572
What business is it of yours?

358
00:16:10,656 --> 00:16:13,325
And another thing, you're using
an awful lot of makeup there.

359
00:16:13,408 --> 00:16:14,618
This is deodorant.

360
00:16:14,701 --> 00:16:16,536
- What does it do?
- (DOORBELL RINGING)

361
00:16:16,703 --> 00:16:17,746
Come on in, Gary.

362
00:16:17,829 --> 00:16:19,623
I'll just be another 20 minutes.

363
00:16:20,332 --> 00:16:21,667
GARY: I'll be waiting.

364
00:16:22,251 --> 00:16:23,252
Twenty minutes?

365
00:16:23,335 --> 00:16:24,836
You're practically ready now.

366
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:26,588
Yeah, but it's good
to make them wait a little.

367
00:16:26,672 --> 00:16:28,882
Oh, God, it's true!

368
00:16:35,806 --> 00:16:38,183
That dress looks great on you.

369
00:16:38,267 --> 00:16:39,268
- Thanks.
- Thanks.

370
00:16:39,351 --> 00:16:40,686
Where is she?

371
00:16:41,853 --> 00:16:44,064
I must say, Amy, you're all made up.

372
00:16:44,523 --> 00:16:46,024
Just like Fry's date.

373
00:16:46,108 --> 00:16:47,526
- Get it?
- Mmm-mmm.

374
00:16:47,985 --> 00:16:49,111
I've got a date!

375
00:16:49,194 --> 00:16:50,404
She'll be along any minute.

376
00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:52,281
Fry! Look who I found.

377
00:16:52,364 --> 00:16:55,701
It's Petunia! Your dream girl.

378
00:16:55,784 --> 00:16:57,035
- How's them eats?
- Uh...

379
00:16:57,119 --> 00:16:58,370
Don't mind if I do.

380
00:16:59,329 --> 00:17:00,330
Kids'll be hungry.

381
00:17:00,414 --> 00:17:02,249
She seems a little old for me.

382
00:17:02,332 --> 00:17:03,709
She is well-traveled,

383
00:17:03,792 --> 00:17:05,460
and I don't mean she travels a lot.

384
00:17:05,544 --> 00:17:07,087
Wheels fell off my house.

385
00:17:07,170 --> 00:17:08,964
Now, how about a rose for the lady?

386
00:17:09,047 --> 00:17:10,132
Five bucks a pop.

387
00:17:10,215 --> 00:17:11,508
- I'll take one.
- Oh, yeah?

388
00:17:11,592 --> 00:17:12,801
Well, I want one, too.

389
00:17:12,884 --> 00:17:14,344
- Eight bucks.
- But, you just said...

390
00:17:14,428 --> 00:17:16,013
Demand suddenly skyrocketed.

391
00:17:16,096 --> 00:17:17,222
You all saw it!

392
00:17:18,473 --> 00:17:19,474
(SIGHS)

393
00:17:22,311 --> 00:17:25,188
Leela, meet your future husband, Sal.

394
00:17:25,397 --> 00:17:27,566
Eeh. Nice eyeball, eyeball.

395
00:17:27,649 --> 00:17:28,942
Nice ass, ass.

396
00:17:29,151 --> 00:17:31,445
Ooh, sparks. Buy her a rose,

397
00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:32,779
I guarantee she'll put out.

398
00:17:34,239 --> 00:17:35,991
Eh, I'll take my chances.

399
00:17:40,871 --> 00:17:42,581
- Cheers.
- (IN DEEP VOICE) Cheers.

400
00:17:43,332 --> 00:17:44,917
So, tell me about your prospects.

401
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,710
- You a good gambler?
- Well, ma'am, I...

402
00:17:46,793 --> 00:17:48,337
What's your game? Bingo?

403
00:17:48,420 --> 00:17:50,339
Keno? Wait a minute.

404
00:17:50,422 --> 00:17:51,465
You don't have your own body.

405
00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:53,175
No, but I control this arm.

406
00:17:53,258 --> 00:17:54,426
Slots player, huh?

407
00:17:55,093 --> 00:17:56,803
Sorry, but I think I can do better.

408
00:17:56,887 --> 00:17:58,305
Wait! Come back...

409
00:17:58,388 --> 00:17:59,973
- darling.
- Can't, hon.

410
00:18:00,057 --> 00:18:01,934
I got to catch my bus back to Nutley.

411
00:18:02,017 --> 00:18:05,145
I'd kiss you good night,
but I lost my teeth pulling out a stump.

412
00:18:05,437 --> 00:18:06,563
So, anyways, Leela,

413
00:18:06,647 --> 00:18:08,440
I'd love to take a whack at you,

414
00:18:08,523 --> 00:18:10,943
but that 10:15 to Nutley
ain't going nowheres

415
00:18:11,026 --> 00:18:13,028
without yours truly behind the wheel.

416
00:18:13,111 --> 00:18:14,196
PETUNIA: Excuse me.

417
00:18:14,279 --> 00:18:17,282
Did you say, "10:15 to Nutley"?

418
00:18:17,366 --> 00:18:19,409
Why, yes, I did.

419
00:18:28,377 --> 00:18:32,047
Bender, did you just round up
our dates at the bus station?

420
00:18:32,130 --> 00:18:34,883
- Of course not.
- Anybody's else for Nutley?

421
00:18:35,133 --> 00:18:36,551
(ALL TALKING SIMULTANEOUSLY)

422
00:18:37,761 --> 00:18:38,762
Baby, wait.

423
00:18:38,845 --> 00:18:40,806
You didn't show me your surprise.

424
00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:44,977
(SOFTLY) You know
what I'd like to do is...

425
00:18:45,352 --> 00:18:47,396
Oh, geez, get a room.

426
00:18:47,729 --> 00:18:48,730
Maybe later.

427
00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:53,777
(STAMMERS) Hey, I have an idea.
Let's all go out for ice cream.

428
00:18:53,860 --> 00:18:55,862
Actually, I thought Amy might like

429
00:18:55,946 --> 00:18:57,656
to come back to my place for coffee.

430
00:18:57,739 --> 00:18:59,116
I don't really like coffee.

431
00:18:59,199 --> 00:19:00,200
Neither do I.

432
00:19:01,827 --> 00:19:04,121
Ooh... I feel a little tipsy.

433
00:19:05,414 --> 00:19:07,082
Let me pick up the check.

434
00:19:10,919 --> 00:19:12,546
No!

435
00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:21,680
That's it! I'm getting
the hell out of here!

436
00:19:21,805 --> 00:19:23,390
(GRUNTING IN PAIN)

437
00:19:30,105 --> 00:19:33,108
Why, if it isn't my favorite head
on Amy's body,

438
00:19:33,191 --> 00:19:34,192
- Fry.
- Oh!

439
00:19:34,526 --> 00:19:36,945
- Leela!
- We were just on our way out.

440
00:19:37,029 --> 00:19:38,155
Nonsense.

441
00:19:38,238 --> 00:19:39,656
The evening is young.

442
00:19:39,740 --> 00:19:42,242
So, Gary, what do you do for a living?

443
00:19:42,326 --> 00:19:44,620
I'm a banking industry regulator.

444
00:19:44,745 --> 00:19:46,371
- Ugh!
- Really?

445
00:19:46,455 --> 00:19:49,374
You know, I heard
that banking industry regulations

446
00:19:49,458 --> 00:19:51,001
are really very simple.

447
00:19:51,084 --> 00:19:52,628
Oh, no, that's not true.

448
00:19:52,711 --> 00:19:55,005
You see, modern banking regulations

449
00:19:55,088 --> 00:19:58,634
are a product
of five different regulatory traditions.

450
00:19:58,967 --> 00:20:00,427
Six, if you want to get technical.

451
00:20:00,510 --> 00:20:01,720
Oh, I do.

452
00:20:02,429 --> 00:20:04,890
It all began in 1410,

453
00:20:04,973 --> 00:20:07,309
when a number of noblemen convened...

454
00:20:07,392 --> 00:20:08,727
(WHISPERING) Thank you.

455
00:20:12,064 --> 00:20:13,065
There you are.

456
00:20:13,148 --> 00:20:14,149
Good as new,

457
00:20:14,233 --> 00:20:15,692
except for your dorsal fin.

458
00:20:15,776 --> 00:20:18,487
I'm afraid I couldn't find it
after the crash.

459
00:20:18,570 --> 00:20:20,906
- Can I live without it?
- If you call that living.

460
00:20:20,989 --> 00:20:23,617
I still don't understand
why you wouldn't let me

461
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:25,994
graft a laser cannon onto your chest

462
00:20:26,078 --> 00:20:28,580
to crush those who disobey you.

463
00:20:29,831 --> 00:20:32,834
Oh, but I guess,
we're just two different people.

464
00:20:33,543 --> 00:20:35,337
So, thanks for the ride, Amy,

465
00:20:35,420 --> 00:20:37,089
and I hope there are no hard feelings

466
00:20:37,172 --> 00:20:38,840
about your date, or stuff.

467
00:20:38,924 --> 00:20:40,592
It's okay. I had fun.

468
00:20:40,676 --> 00:20:42,010
And if I ever feel lonely,

469
00:20:42,094 --> 00:20:45,222
I can just look over
at this disfiguring scar and think of you.

470
00:20:48,308 --> 00:20:49,309
(SIGHS)

471
00:20:49,476 --> 00:20:52,145
Well, anyway, it's nice
to have my own body back.

472
00:20:52,563 --> 00:20:53,689
Ah!

473
00:20:56,275 --> 00:20:57,276
Oh...

474
00:20:57,818 --> 00:20:59,278
LEELA: So, how's the old corpse?

475
00:20:59,361 --> 00:21:00,779
Everything hooked up okay?

476
00:21:00,862 --> 00:21:03,115
Seems to be.
My neck is just a little tender.

477
00:21:03,490 --> 00:21:05,409
Ow! Cool.

478
00:21:05,826 --> 00:21:06,827
Ow!

479
00:21:06,910 --> 00:21:08,120
Listen, Leela,

480
00:21:08,203 --> 00:21:09,788
thanks for rescuing me last night.

481
00:21:09,871 --> 00:21:10,914
Anytime.

482
00:21:10,998 --> 00:21:13,000
I actually enjoyed hanging out with you.

483
00:21:13,083 --> 00:21:14,918
Yep. Everything worked out great.

484
00:21:15,002 --> 00:21:16,628
Thanks to good old Bender.

485
00:21:16,712 --> 00:21:17,713
Come on!

486
00:21:17,796 --> 00:21:20,591
It's not like you intentionally
set us up with bad dates

487
00:21:20,674 --> 00:21:22,634
so we'd spend Valentine's Day together.

488
00:21:22,718 --> 00:21:24,219
Didn't I, Leela?

489
00:21:24,303 --> 00:21:25,429
Didn't I?

490
00:21:26,763 --> 00:21:28,599
LEELA: No! You didn't!

491
00:21:28,849 --> 00:21:31,268
You just corralled a bunch
of stiffs at the bus station

492
00:21:31,351 --> 00:21:32,436
and pocketed our money.

493
00:21:32,519 --> 00:21:34,521
True, but in the end,

494
00:21:34,605 --> 00:21:37,983
isn't that what Valentine's Day
is really all about?

495
00:21:38,066 --> 00:21:39,610
- Yeah.
- I guess so.

496
00:21:39,860 --> 00:21:41,236
(LAUGHING)

497
00:21:42,654 --> 00:21:44,448
Watch the neck. Watch the neck!

498
00:21:44,531 --> 00:21:45,574
My ass!

499
00:21:45,657 --> 00:21:46,867
My beautiful...

500
00:21:46,950 --> 00:21:48,118
(EXPLOSIONS)

501
00:21:54,082 --> 00:21:56,084
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)