1
00:00:01,583 --> 00:00:04,044
NARRATOR: Futurama is brought to you by

2
00:00:04,169 --> 00:00:05,587
Arachno Spores.

3
00:00:05,671 --> 00:00:08,090
The fatal spore with the funny name.

4
00:00:10,384 --> 00:00:12,386
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

5
00:00:37,953 --> 00:00:42,040
TV PRESENTER: Cop Department is real.
The people you see are not actors.

6
00:00:42,124 --> 00:00:44,334
Most of them aren't even people.

7
00:00:44,626 --> 00:00:45,794
Come on, man.

8
00:00:45,878 --> 00:00:47,880
I didn't fire off no laser.

9
00:00:47,963 --> 00:00:50,465
Then why is there a smoking hole
in your ceiling, sir?

10
00:00:50,549 --> 00:00:51,550
MAN: (ON TV) What?

11
00:00:51,758 --> 00:00:52,759
(SIZZLING)

12
00:00:52,843 --> 00:00:55,679
Crazy upstairs lady
must have been shooting down.

13
00:00:55,762 --> 00:00:58,849
Sir, you're on the top floor
of this particular domicile.

14
00:00:58,932 --> 00:01:02,102
You get that...Camera out of my house.

15
00:01:02,185 --> 00:01:03,520
Just relax, ma'am.

16
00:01:03,604 --> 00:01:05,689
Sir, sir, put down the lamp.

17
00:01:05,772 --> 00:01:08,483
- (GLASS SHATTERING)
- Okay, okay. I'm cooperating.

18
00:01:08,567 --> 00:01:10,485
That's it. Now put up your hands.

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00:01:10,569 --> 00:01:11,987
Nice and slow.

20
00:01:12,070 --> 00:01:13,488
Oh, yeah.

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00:01:13,572 --> 00:01:15,699
And while you're at it, un-blur your face.

22
00:01:16,408 --> 00:01:17,409
Oh, man.

23
00:01:18,035 --> 00:01:19,453
LEELA: Hey, Bender.

24
00:01:19,536 --> 00:01:21,413
I thought you said
you were in this episode.

25
00:01:21,496 --> 00:01:25,959
Nah, this week I'm on Caught On Tape 3
'Cause of what I did in the coffee pot.

26
00:01:26,043 --> 00:01:27,211
(SPLURTS)

27
00:01:27,544 --> 00:01:29,588
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

28
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I'm just going through some things.

29
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Ooh!

30
00:01:36,094 --> 00:01:37,429
I'm going in.

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TV PRESENTER: Cop Department will return
after these messages.

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ANNOUNCER: Is today's hectic lifestyle
making you tense and impatient?

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00:01:45,771 --> 00:01:47,314
Shut up and get to the point!

34
00:01:47,397 --> 00:01:51,360
Then come relive the carefree
days of yore at Past-O-Rama

35
00:01:51,443 --> 00:01:53,904
Where old New York comes alive.

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00:01:53,987 --> 00:01:57,032
It's like stepping back
into the year 2000.

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Time for the mammoth hunt, dudes.

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(YELLING)

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00:02:00,827 --> 00:02:03,580
(TRUMPETING)

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Let's disco dance, Hammurabi.

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00:02:07,042 --> 00:02:08,752
Dyn-o-mite!

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00:02:08,835 --> 00:02:10,546
(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)

43
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ANNOUNCER:
Located on the former site of Brooklyn.

44
00:02:12,965 --> 00:02:14,967
Sounds like your kind of place, Fry.

45
00:02:15,050 --> 00:02:16,385
- Want to go?
- Nah.

46
00:02:16,468 --> 00:02:18,470
If I ever want to go back to the year 2000

47
00:02:18,554 --> 00:02:19,930
I'll just freeze myself again.

48
00:02:20,013 --> 00:02:22,599
Come on, Fry. I really wanna see it.

49
00:02:22,683 --> 00:02:25,352
You know how I yearn for a simpler time.

50
00:02:25,435 --> 00:02:27,938
A time of barn dances and buggy rides

51
00:02:28,021 --> 00:02:31,483
before life was cheapened by heartless,
high-tech machines.

52
00:02:31,567 --> 00:02:32,985
But, Bender, you are a...

53
00:02:33,068 --> 00:02:35,320
La, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la!

54
00:02:39,408 --> 00:02:41,785
Cool. It's just like the good old days.

55
00:02:41,868 --> 00:02:43,370
Give me your wallet or I'll cut you!

56
00:02:43,453 --> 00:02:45,205
(LAUGHS)

57
00:02:45,330 --> 00:02:48,166
Leela, get a picture of me being "mugged."

58
00:02:48,292 --> 00:02:50,711
- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
- I'll take the camera, too.

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00:02:50,878 --> 00:02:52,129
(FRY LAUGHING)

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- (CLEARING THROAT)
- Learning is fun.

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LEELA: Ooh!

62
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Ancient Wall Street.

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00:02:58,468 --> 00:03:00,178
(BUZZER SOUNDING)

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00:03:00,262 --> 00:03:02,180
(ALL SCREAMING IN ANGUISH)

65
00:03:03,765 --> 00:03:05,350
(MULTIPLE THUDS)

66
00:03:05,434 --> 00:03:07,311
(BELL RINGS)

67
00:03:07,561 --> 00:03:09,104
(ALL CHEERING ENTHUSIASTICALLY)

68
00:03:11,064 --> 00:03:14,484
I direct your attention
to this ancient and mysterious tablet...

69
00:03:14,735 --> 00:03:16,737
which has yet to be deciphered.

70
00:03:16,820 --> 00:03:18,155
Do you know what it means?

71
00:03:18,238 --> 00:03:19,698
Yeah, I asked a cop once.

72
00:03:19,781 --> 00:03:21,491
It means, "up yours, kid."

73
00:03:21,575 --> 00:03:24,786
I got to say I'm really enjoying
the day out with you people.

74
00:03:25,537 --> 00:03:28,123
Hey, hey! A suicide booth.

75
00:03:28,206 --> 00:03:29,458
So long, suckers.

76
00:03:29,541 --> 00:03:30,626
Sorry, Bender.

77
00:03:30,709 --> 00:03:32,085
That's just a phone booth.

78
00:03:32,252 --> 00:03:33,837
- Oh.
- What were they used for?

79
00:03:33,921 --> 00:03:35,756
In New York? Bathrooms.

80
00:03:35,839 --> 00:03:36,882
Oh.

81
00:03:37,049 --> 00:03:38,300
I'll be out in a sec.

82
00:03:38,592 --> 00:03:39,968
(PHONE BOOTH DOOR OPENS, SHUTS)

83
00:03:44,139 --> 00:03:46,600
"Tokens only." How does this work?

84
00:03:46,683 --> 00:03:47,935
I'll show you. (GRUNTS)

85
00:03:48,518 --> 00:03:50,979
Oh! It's a turnstile.

86
00:03:51,104 --> 00:03:52,314
(GRUNTS)

87
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(GRUNTS, EXHALES)

88
00:03:56,693 --> 00:03:59,404
What's this? (SNIFFS) Another bathroom?

89
00:03:59,488 --> 00:04:01,990
No, it's a mobile apartment with no rent.

90
00:04:02,324 --> 00:04:03,325
(SIGHS)

91
00:04:03,450 --> 00:04:05,369
Come on, Fry. Get up.

92
00:04:05,452 --> 00:04:07,162
(GRUMPILY) Ah...

93
00:04:12,376 --> 00:04:17,381
Wow. The burial chamber of the
20th century's greatest spiritual leader,

94
00:04:17,464 --> 00:04:18,465
Al Sharpton.

95
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BENDER: Ooh.

96
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,594
Now, this guy had taste.

97
00:04:22,678 --> 00:04:25,722
It says he was mummified
in ceremonial vestments.

98
00:04:25,847 --> 00:04:28,308
We sometimes called it a jogging suit.

99
00:04:31,228 --> 00:04:34,731
NARRATOR: The traffic jams of old New York
were a public forum

100
00:04:34,815 --> 00:04:37,234
for the free interchange of opinion.

101
00:04:37,317 --> 00:04:38,694
(CAR HORNS BLARING)

102
00:04:38,777 --> 00:04:40,112
MAN 1: Move it, crap-for-brains!

103
00:04:40,195 --> 00:04:42,739
MAN 2: Bug off!
MAN 3: Get home, bastard man!

104
00:04:42,823 --> 00:04:46,159
NARRATOR: It all started with
Gerald Ford's famous invention

105
00:04:46,243 --> 00:04:50,330
the automo-car, which was powered by
a tank of burning fossils.

106
00:04:50,414 --> 00:04:53,250
Here we see a 20th-century assembly line

107
00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:57,129
where cars were constructed
by primitive robots.

108
00:04:57,337 --> 00:05:01,675
(ROBOTS CHANT) Ooh-gah, ooh-gah, ooh-gah!
Ooh-gah, ooh-gah, ooh-gah!

109
00:05:01,758 --> 00:05:04,386
We've come a long way, baby.

110
00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:08,515
NARRATOR:
The fruit of the robots' labor was this...

111
00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:11,602
The stately 1992 Latura.

112
00:05:11,685 --> 00:05:13,395
Hey, my girlfriend had one of those.

113
00:05:13,478 --> 00:05:15,355
Actually, it wasn't hers.
It was her dad's.

114
00:05:15,439 --> 00:05:16,899
Actually, she wasn't my girlfriend.

115
00:05:16,982 --> 00:05:19,443
She just lived next door
and never closed her curtains.

116
00:05:19,526 --> 00:05:21,361
Fry, remember when I told you

117
00:05:21,445 --> 00:05:23,739
about always ending your stories
a sentence earlier?

118
00:05:23,822 --> 00:05:25,866
Come on, let's sneak in for a closer look.

119
00:05:28,827 --> 00:05:31,121
Sir, we don't touch the antiques, sir.

120
00:05:31,204 --> 00:05:34,791
You don't... Oh... Oh! (CHUCKLES)
I'm sorry, you work here.

121
00:05:34,875 --> 00:05:37,753
I should have realized from that
ridiculous getup you're wearing.

122
00:05:37,836 --> 00:05:40,464
Hey, this is from Miller's Outpost...

123
00:05:40,547 --> 00:05:43,091
I mean, yeah, I work here all right.

124
00:05:43,175 --> 00:05:46,637
Here. Move this rust bucket
out behind St. Koch's Cathedral.

125
00:05:47,387 --> 00:05:48,972
(SNORTS AND LAUGHS)

126
00:05:50,849 --> 00:05:53,560
Did you drive much
in the 20th century, Fry?

127
00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:55,395
No. No one in New York drove.

128
00:05:55,479 --> 00:05:56,813
There was too much traffic.

129
00:05:57,648 --> 00:05:58,690
(GRINDING)

130
00:05:58,774 --> 00:06:01,568
Nice. Listen to that baby purr.

131
00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:02,861
There's a baby in there, huh?

132
00:06:03,487 --> 00:06:05,530
(ENGINE REVVING)

133
00:06:10,535 --> 00:06:12,579
It's just like riding a bicycle...

134
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:13,997
(EXCLAIMING)

135
00:06:14,081 --> 00:06:16,083
(ALL SCREAMING)

136
00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:17,584
(TIRES SCREECHING)

137
00:06:18,085 --> 00:06:21,505
(ORCHESTRA PLAYING)

138
00:06:23,507 --> 00:06:25,092
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

139
00:06:25,175 --> 00:06:27,427
(TIRES SQUEALING)

140
00:06:27,511 --> 00:06:30,097
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

141
00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:31,181
(LOUD CRASH)

142
00:06:31,807 --> 00:06:34,393
(GROANS) I think I got whiplash.

143
00:06:34,476 --> 00:06:36,895
You can't have whiplash.
You don't have a neck.

144
00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:39,189
I meant ass whiplash.

145
00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:42,234
I'm just glad we hit something.
I thought we'd never stop.

146
00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:45,571
(ALL GASPING)

147
00:06:45,654 --> 00:06:46,989
(GROANS)

148
00:06:47,072 --> 00:06:48,699
I think I got whiplash.

149
00:06:48,782 --> 00:06:50,617
(GROANS)

150
00:07:05,382 --> 00:07:07,050
How's that robot I ran over?

151
00:07:07,134 --> 00:07:09,177
We did all we could.

152
00:07:09,261 --> 00:07:10,429
(GASPS) You mean he's...

153
00:07:10,512 --> 00:07:12,890
Good as new? Yes.

154
00:07:12,973 --> 00:07:17,436
Leela, Zoidberg, the rest of you,
this is Flexo.

155
00:07:17,519 --> 00:07:19,187
Sweet llamas of the Bahamas!

156
00:07:19,271 --> 00:07:20,939
Except for that stylish beard,

157
00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:22,399
he look just like Bender.

158
00:07:22,482 --> 00:07:23,942
No duh, dreadlock,

159
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,193
we're both bending units.

160
00:07:25,277 --> 00:07:27,362
Hey, bro-bot, what's your serial number?

161
00:07:27,446 --> 00:07:29,281
3-3-7-0-3-1-8.

162
00:07:29,364 --> 00:07:33,201
No way. Mine's 2-7-1-6-0-5-7.

163
00:07:33,285 --> 00:07:35,203
(HEARTY LAUGHTER)

164
00:07:36,246 --> 00:07:37,289
I don't get it.

165
00:07:37,372 --> 00:07:40,209
We're both expressible
as the sum of two cubes.

166
00:07:40,417 --> 00:07:41,543
Whoo!

167
00:07:41,835 --> 00:07:43,253
So, uh, Flexo,

168
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,380
sorry about crushing your body like that.

169
00:07:45,464 --> 00:07:46,465
You okay now?

170
00:07:46,548 --> 00:07:48,717
Well, I don't feel as bad as you look.

171
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:51,094
(LAUGHS)

172
00:07:51,178 --> 00:07:53,055
I'm just messing with you, kid.

173
00:07:53,138 --> 00:07:54,139
You're all right.

174
00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:55,724
That's some face you got, though.

175
00:07:55,807 --> 00:07:57,267
I think they got a cream for that.

176
00:07:57,517 --> 00:07:59,019
(LAUGHS)

177
00:07:59,102 --> 00:08:00,312
No, you're great.

178
00:08:00,395 --> 00:08:01,438
Well, just let me know

179
00:08:01,521 --> 00:08:03,607
if there's anything I can do
to make it up to you.

180
00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:06,360
Actually, your little stunt
did a number on my back.

181
00:08:06,443 --> 00:08:07,778
You mind rubbing it for me?

182
00:08:07,861 --> 00:08:09,112
Uh... Sure.

183
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,199
Oh, yeah, that's it. Little lower.

184
00:08:12,282 --> 00:08:13,700
- How's that?
- Lower.

185
00:08:14,201 --> 00:08:16,495
Yeah, that's getting it.
Little lower, though.

186
00:08:16,578 --> 00:08:18,247
I can't get any lower than this.

187
00:08:18,330 --> 00:08:20,874
I'll say. You're rubbing my ass.

188
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:23,919
(BOTH GUFFAW)

189
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,255
(MUSIC THUMPING FAINTLY)

190
00:08:27,881 --> 00:08:29,591
Hey, check it out here.

191
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,343
Six beautiful devices.

192
00:08:31,426 --> 00:08:33,470
They know what you like and they'll do it

193
00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:36,056
to within a tolerance of one micron.

194
00:08:36,139 --> 00:08:37,808
(WHISTLES AND CATCALLS)

195
00:08:37,891 --> 00:08:39,893
MAN 1: Spin those fans, baby!
MAN 2: Baby! Whoo!

196
00:08:40,852 --> 00:08:42,479
MAN 3: All right, mama!

197
00:08:43,355 --> 00:08:44,565
MAN 4: Spin it, baby.

198
00:08:44,648 --> 00:08:46,525
(WHISTLES AND CATCALLS)

199
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,154
(COUGHS)

200
00:08:51,238 --> 00:08:52,489
I don't like this place.

201
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:55,325
It's 120 degrees
and there's very little oxygen.

202
00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:56,743
Shut up and hoot.

203
00:08:57,578 --> 00:08:59,162
(DRUMS CRESCENDO)

204
00:09:00,539 --> 00:09:04,334
(WHISTLES AND CATCALLS)

205
00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:06,879
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

206
00:09:08,338 --> 00:09:10,674
Hubba-hubba. She is built...

207
00:09:10,757 --> 00:09:12,551
In Mexico, I believe.

208
00:09:12,634 --> 00:09:14,344
And that ain't silicon.

209
00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:16,805
It's tungsten, and plenty of it.

210
00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:19,558
Yeah. Look at that exhaust fan.

211
00:09:19,641 --> 00:09:20,684
(DISGUSTED SNORTS)

212
00:09:20,809 --> 00:09:22,019
Pervert.

213
00:09:22,102 --> 00:09:24,062
Yoo-hoo!

214
00:09:24,229 --> 00:09:25,731
(CHUCKLING)

215
00:09:25,814 --> 00:09:27,941
Oh.

216
00:09:28,191 --> 00:09:29,860
Thanks, moderate spender.

217
00:09:29,943 --> 00:09:32,195
Please select erotic transaction.

218
00:09:32,279 --> 00:09:35,365
Yeah. How about a lap dance
for my pal here?

219
00:09:35,532 --> 00:09:38,118
Ooh! Yeah. Chuck-a-chong.

220
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:40,746
No, no, that's all right, really.

221
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:42,164
(DANCER MOANING)

222
00:09:42,247 --> 00:09:44,374
FRY: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

223
00:09:47,127 --> 00:09:50,422
I'm telling you. There's something
about Flexo I don't like.

224
00:09:51,006 --> 00:09:52,633
Hey, Fry, think fast.

225
00:09:53,592 --> 00:09:55,052
(COUGHS)

226
00:09:55,135 --> 00:09:56,678
Get it? It's chlorine.

227
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,388
(BOTH LAUGHING)

228
00:10:00,015 --> 00:10:01,183
(LAUGHING)

229
00:10:01,308 --> 00:10:03,727
It's funny because it's poisonous.

230
00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:06,563
Yeah, keep laughing, brine shrimp,
but he's bad news.

231
00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:08,190
I regret ever running him over.

232
00:10:08,273 --> 00:10:09,816
Take a rage dump, mon.

233
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,360
He's no worse than Bender.

234
00:10:11,443 --> 00:10:13,528
He's much worse. He drinks and smokes

235
00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:15,864
and he posts naked pictures of me
on the Internet.

236
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,157
That's Bender all right.

237
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:18,742
I'm talking about Flexo.

238
00:10:18,992 --> 00:10:21,620
Oh, I get it. This is cute.

239
00:10:21,703 --> 00:10:23,789
You're jealous of Bender's new friend.

240
00:10:23,872 --> 00:10:24,873
No, I'm not.

241
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:28,001
Mark my words. Flexo's evil.

242
00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:30,337
He's the evil Bender.

243
00:10:30,420 --> 00:10:31,964
Rage dump.

244
00:10:33,131 --> 00:10:34,466
Good news, everyone.

245
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:37,970
Report to my bedroom
for a private exhibition.

246
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:39,513
ALL: Hmm.

247
00:10:39,596 --> 00:10:41,557
Everyone get in bed with me.

248
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:44,268
I have something to show you.

249
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:50,899
Feast your eyes on this!

250
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:52,276
(ALL GASPING)

251
00:10:52,359 --> 00:10:54,194
LEELA: It's beautiful.

252
00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:55,529
AMY: And huge.

253
00:10:55,612 --> 00:10:56,947
FRY: Can I touch it?

254
00:10:57,030 --> 00:10:58,699
So, what is it already?

255
00:10:58,782 --> 00:11:01,285
It's a single atom of jumbonium.

256
00:11:01,368 --> 00:11:02,703
An element so rare,

257
00:11:02,786 --> 00:11:06,331
The nucleus alone is worth
more than $50,000.

258
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:08,417
- How much more?
- $100,000.

259
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:11,253
That's why I hid it here,
under my mattress.

260
00:11:11,336 --> 00:11:14,131
Professor, can we discuss this
somewhere else?

261
00:11:14,214 --> 00:11:15,757
Why, certainly.

262
00:11:16,383 --> 00:11:19,303
The atom sits atop this dime-store tiara

263
00:11:19,386 --> 00:11:23,056
which will be awarded to the winner
of this year's Miss Universe pageant

264
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,100
on the planet Tova nine.

265
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:28,645
Your job is to deliver it safe and sound.

266
00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:33,066
Wow! When I was a little girl on Mars
I dreamed of being Miss Universe.

267
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,401
That's kind of pathetic.

268
00:11:34,484 --> 00:11:35,527
Oh, come on, Leela.

269
00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,988
Deep down, all girls
want to be Miss Universe.

270
00:11:38,071 --> 00:11:39,406
- Not me.
- Really?

271
00:11:39,489 --> 00:11:41,033
Maybe it's just cute girls.

272
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:44,411
Due to the atom's tremendous value,

273
00:11:44,494 --> 00:11:47,414
Planet Express would go bankrupt
if it were stolen.

274
00:11:47,497 --> 00:11:51,460
Therefore, we'll need to hire on
additional security for the mission.

275
00:11:51,668 --> 00:11:54,463
Oh, oh, oh, oh! Mr. Professor? Right here!

276
00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:57,174
Uh, maybe we should stick with
people we know and trust.

277
00:11:57,257 --> 00:11:58,675
I mean, Flexo's great, but...

278
00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:00,093
Flexo's great, you say?

279
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:02,095
Well, that's good enough for me.

280
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:04,556
Welcome aboard, lad.

281
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,851
(EVIL LAUGHTER)

282
00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:16,944
Space banditos have been
operating in this quadrant,

283
00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:19,821
so you'll each take eight-hour shifts
guarding the safe.

284
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:22,574
First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry.

285
00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:24,701
Wait, hold on.
I don't like the sound of that.

286
00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:26,161
Let's just go alphabetically.

287
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:29,706
Okay. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry.

288
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,208
Wait, let's go by rank.

289
00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:34,628
Okay. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry.

290
00:12:34,711 --> 00:12:36,255
Flexo outranks me?

291
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:38,840
That's "Flexo outranks me, sir."

292
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:45,013
Halt! Who goes there?

293
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:46,265
Don't point that at me.

294
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:47,349
Fry who?

295
00:12:47,432 --> 00:12:49,226
Look, I know Flexo's your friend,

296
00:12:49,309 --> 00:12:51,436
but I don't trust him alone with the atom.

297
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:52,521
My God, Fry.

298
00:12:52,604 --> 00:12:55,566
Just 'cause the guy's got
a beard, you label him as evil?

299
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,526
Well, I got a label for you, pal.

300
00:12:57,609 --> 00:12:59,945
An ugly little word called "prejudice."

301
00:13:00,028 --> 00:13:01,238
I'm not prejudiced.

302
00:13:01,321 --> 00:13:03,824
Save it for the cross burning, Adolf.

303
00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:09,913
Keeping an eye on the safe?

304
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:10,998
You know it.

305
00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:14,084
Well, looks like it's my shift.

306
00:13:14,167 --> 00:13:16,587
You lie down and go off-line for a while.

307
00:13:16,753 --> 00:13:18,505
(YAWNING) All right.

308
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:26,179
(WHISTLING JAUNTY TUNE)

309
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:28,223
(EVIL CHUCKLING)

310
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,391
- Caught you!
- (EXCLAIMS)

311
00:13:29,474 --> 00:13:31,268
I saw you looking at the atom.

312
00:13:31,351 --> 00:13:33,729
So? I look at lots of atoms.

313
00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:35,939
Shouldn't you be resting up
for your shift?

314
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:38,525
Oh, you'd like it if I went to sleep,
wouldn't you?

315
00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:40,694
Whatever it takes to shut your yapper.

316
00:13:40,777 --> 00:13:41,987
(LAUGHING)

317
00:13:42,070 --> 00:13:43,947
No, I'm just kidding. You're a joker.

318
00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:45,490
Yeah? Well, here's a funny joke.

319
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,743
I'm going to sit right here
till it's my shift.

320
00:13:47,826 --> 00:13:49,369
Suit yourself, skinbag.

321
00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:50,454
That I will.

322
00:13:50,537 --> 00:13:51,663
- Good.
- Good.

323
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:52,873
- Good.
- Good.

324
00:13:52,956 --> 00:13:54,082
- Good.
- Good.

325
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,418
Good.

326
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,297
(WATCH BEEPS)

327
00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:01,924
Well, that's eight hours.

328
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:04,301
Yeah, eight hours of solid boredom.

329
00:14:04,384 --> 00:14:05,844
(LAUGHS) Nah, I'm kidding.

330
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,429
You're a wonderful man.

331
00:14:09,473 --> 00:14:11,600
Finally, the atom is safe.

332
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,061
(SNORING)

333
00:14:24,988 --> 00:14:26,365
(SNORING)

334
00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,784
- (LOUD THUD)
- Huh? (YAWNING)

335
00:14:28,992 --> 00:14:30,285
(SCREAMING)

336
00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:34,998
What is it? My God!

337
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:36,708
- Did you hear maracas?
- No.

338
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,460
Then it wasn't space banditos.

339
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:39,962
Bender, lock down the ship.

340
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:41,338
Don't let Flexo escape.

341
00:14:41,421 --> 00:14:42,714
Aye, aye, captain.

342
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:45,759
It appears that Flexo
has outwitted us all.

343
00:14:46,009 --> 00:14:49,221
Especially me... Bender.

344
00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:56,186
How could Flexo have stolen the atom?

345
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,896
He must have used a sleep ray on me.

346
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,690
Sleep rays exist in the future, right?

347
00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:00,774
No.

348
00:15:00,857 --> 00:15:02,192
Then I must have fallen asleep.

349
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,695
Well, you were sure right
about Flexo being evil.

350
00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:07,864
I locked down the exits,
but he may have already gotten away.

351
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,951
Okay, thanks, Bender.
Let's fan out and look for him.

352
00:15:11,034 --> 00:15:13,662
Roger that.
I got a map of the ship right here.

353
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:15,455
(WHISPERS) Keep an eye on Fry.

354
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:18,208
We can't rule out the possibility
that he did it.

355
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,257
Aha!

356
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:29,469
Aha!

357
00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:31,054
Searching.

358
00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:32,264
Hmm.

359
00:15:32,347 --> 00:15:34,808
Fry, why are you looking for Flexo

360
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,476
in my underpants drawer?

361
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,270
I didn't find him here ten minutes ago

362
00:15:38,353 --> 00:15:40,188
so I thought it was time to check again.

363
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:41,940
Ow!

364
00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:44,776
Well, he wasn't in the, uh, kitchen room.

365
00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:48,530
Say, Bender, can I hold that map
for a second?

366
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:51,742
And leave me high and dry
in case of a scavenger hunt?

367
00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:53,160
I think not.

368
00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:54,244
Give it up!

369
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:56,079
(BOTH GRUNTING)

370
00:15:57,497 --> 00:15:59,333
All right! Take it. Sheesh!

371
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:07,341
Well, looks like Flexo got away clean.

372
00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:08,884
It's a darn shame.

373
00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:12,179
He must have jumped ship
with the atom the second we landed.

374
00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:15,432
Or maybe... he never left at all!

375
00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:18,185
Wait a minute. You're Bender.

376
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:19,978
Of course. Who said I wasn't?

377
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:22,814
But why were you wearing that scarf,
and the turtleneck,

378
00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:24,233
and this fruity number?

379
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,443
It's a little thing called style.

380
00:16:26,526 --> 00:16:28,153
Look it up sometime.

381
00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:30,489
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

382
00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:36,536
(EVIL CHUCKLING)

383
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:38,956
(PANTING)

384
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:45,712
Our ninth finalist, Miss Methane planet,

385
00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:48,298
Halatina Smogmeyer.

386
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,133
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

387
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:53,887
(GASPING AND CHOKING)

388
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:56,640
And our tenth and final finalist,

389
00:16:56,723 --> 00:17:00,477
Miss Earth's Moon, The Crushinator.

390
00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:01,770
(APPLAUSE)

391
00:17:03,146 --> 00:17:05,065
(ROBOTIC VOICE) Thank you, Bob Barker.

392
00:17:05,148 --> 00:17:08,986
I'm as happy as a girl can be.
End statement.

393
00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:11,113
Which one of these lovely womanoids

394
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:13,615
will take home the atomic tiara?

395
00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:16,535
(WHISPERS) Downplay the tiara.

396
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,412
Uh... We'll find out

397
00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:21,081
after these subliminal messages.

398
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,836
So you lost the atom, huh?

399
00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:28,338
You're garbage, human garbage!

400
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:31,049
Do you brain-dead space jockeys
have any idea

401
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,676
how much that thing is worth?

402
00:17:32,759 --> 00:17:34,720
- $100,000?
- $200,000?

403
00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,305
$200,001?

404
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,348
You're closest without going over.

405
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:39,808
Well, we'll be leaving now.

406
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,519
If you could just sign this form saying
you received the atom.

407
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:43,896
I'm not signing squat.

408
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:46,773
You find me that damn tiara
before the pageant ends.

409
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:48,984
- But, Mr. Barker...
- Enough out of you!

410
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,861
I may be against the fur industry.

411
00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:53,697
But that won't stop me
from skinning you alive.

412
00:17:53,780 --> 00:17:55,449
As long as no one wears the skin.

413
00:17:57,951 --> 00:18:00,662
Well, gentlemen, it appears we're boned.

414
00:18:02,372 --> 00:18:03,790
- Hey!
- Flexo!

415
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:04,875
LEELA: Get him!

416
00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:07,669
(PLAYING FANFARE)

417
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,840
(APPLAUSE)

418
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:21,058
Next up, in what is generously
called "the talent competition"

419
00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:25,562
performing a traditional gangster rap,
Miss... what the...

420
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,147
(SCREAMING)

421
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,358
Got ya!

422
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:30,859
(BOTH GRUNTING)

423
00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:34,571
ALL: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

424
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,865
Shoot him! He's choking me!

425
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,534
No, shoot him! He's choking me!

426
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,538
I don't know which one to shoot.

427
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:45,332
Flexo! Shoot Flexo.

428
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:50,128
(ALL SCREAMING)

429
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:55,092
Women only room!

430
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:56,843
(BEATBOXING)

431
00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:06,770
All right, enough of this.

432
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,900
(BOTH GROANING)

433
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:18,323
(ALL GASPING)

434
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:19,741
There's the atom!

435
00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:22,494
Aw, geez.

436
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,705
Bender? You stole the atom?

437
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:27,875
Yeah, but I can explain.
It's very valuable.

438
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:30,711
I saw him snatch it while Fry was asleep.

439
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:33,255
That's why I ran to tell Bob Barker.

440
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:34,923
Whoa, whoa! Wait a second.

441
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,925
You mean Bender is the evil Bender?

442
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,011
I am shocked, shocked!

443
00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:40,470
Well, not that shocked.

444
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:42,890
I'm sorry we suspected you, Flexo.

445
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:45,100
It's just, what with the beard and all...

446
00:19:45,183 --> 00:19:47,811
Don't even bother. You people sicken me.

447
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,188
I put my life on the line
to guard that atom

448
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,732
and this is how you repay me?

449
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:54,860
Well, you can go rot for all I care.

450
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:56,486
(LAUGHING)

451
00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:58,822
Nah, I'm just kidding.
You guys are all right.

452
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:01,158
(LAUGHING)

453
00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:03,118
I'm so confused.

454
00:20:03,201 --> 00:20:05,287
The Bender I liked turned out to be evil,

455
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:07,372
and the Bender I hated was good.

456
00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:11,376
How can I live my life
when I can't tell good from evil?

457
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:14,463
They're both fine choices.
Whatever floats your boat.

458
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:18,550
Is this the guy?

459
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:19,718
Huh? Oh, yeah.

460
00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:21,136
That looks like him, whatever.

461
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,263
- Wait! But...
- Take him away.

462
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:28,769
Okay, let's put an end
to this pathetic hoedown.

463
00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:30,270
Brannigan, read the thing.

464
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,855
And the winner is...

465
00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:33,941
It figures.

466
00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:36,193
Who else but Zapp Brannigan
would be judging

467
00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:39,279
the most chauvinistic,
degrading, dehumanizing...

468
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:40,364
"Leela"?

469
00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:42,115
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)

470
00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:44,201
Wait, you're making a...

471
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:45,786
Ooh.

472
00:20:45,869 --> 00:20:47,204
Look at that.

473
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,707
I feel like a princess!

474
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,543
(SOBBING)

475
00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:59,132
Wait, what are you people, idiots?

476
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,718
I'm still going mano a mano
with this envelope.

477
00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:03,220
(STRAINING)

478
00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:06,139
(GRUNTING)

479
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:07,849
And the winner is...

480
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,893
Miss Vega 4.

481
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,479
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)

482
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:17,985
(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)

483
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:21,446
(SINGING)
There it is

484
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:25,325
Miss Universe

485
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,870
There it is

486
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:32,708
Looking weird

487
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:35,961
(SIGHS) I almost had that tiara.

488
00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:37,713
(SIGHS) Me, too.

489
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:40,632
Well, you guys might both be losers,
but I just made out

490
00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:43,260
With that radiator woman
from the radiator planet.

491
00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:45,637
Fry, that's a radiator.

492
00:21:45,929 --> 00:21:48,098
Oh. (CLEARS THROAT)

493
00:21:48,181 --> 00:21:50,475
Is there a burn ward
within ten feet of here?

494
00:21:56,899 --> 00:21:58,901
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)