1
00:00:02,521 --> 00:00:04,523
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:35,095 --> 00:00:37,639
Finally, the last form of the day.

3
00:00:37,723 --> 00:00:41,059
Welcome to Stampytown, population five.

4
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:48,609
And now for the finishing touch.

5
00:00:57,034 --> 00:00:59,453
The cycle of bureaucracy.

6
00:00:59,536 --> 00:01:04,124
Sweet gorilla of Manila!
A letter from the Central Bureaucracy.

7
00:01:04,207 --> 00:01:05,626
"Attention, Hermes Conrad.

8
00:01:05,709 --> 00:01:09,713
"You are about to receive a letter
from the Central Bureaucracy."

9
00:01:10,005 --> 00:01:12,633
My God! It's from the Central Bureaucracy!

10
00:01:13,216 --> 00:01:17,179
I'm having a poker game tonight with
some friends from my old cryogenics job.

11
00:01:17,262 --> 00:01:18,388
You guys interested?

12
00:01:18,472 --> 00:01:20,891
I don't know. I only gamble with chumps.

13
00:01:20,974 --> 00:01:22,434
- I'll play.
- I'm in!

14
00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:23,769
Leela, Fry, Robot.

15
00:01:23,852 --> 00:01:26,813
No matter what it is you're doing tonight,
I'm available.

16
00:01:26,897 --> 00:01:27,940
We're playing poker.

17
00:01:28,023 --> 00:01:30,692
But I'm warning you
my friends are serious players.

18
00:01:30,776 --> 00:01:32,319
Bah! Big shots.

19
00:01:32,402 --> 00:01:34,655
I say let the dice do the talking.

20
00:01:43,580 --> 00:01:45,457
(HUMMING)

21
00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:47,834
Wow, you look happy. Is someone fired?

22
00:01:47,918 --> 00:01:51,880
Better. The Central Bureaucracy
is conducting an inspection tomorrow.

23
00:01:51,964 --> 00:01:56,802
I will finally be promoted to Grade 35,
the 35th highest Grade there is.

24
00:01:57,010 --> 00:01:58,178
(CONTINUES HUMMING)

25
00:01:58,262 --> 00:02:00,681
Hermes, wait. We're having a poker party.

26
00:02:00,764 --> 00:02:03,350
Stay and whip off
a batch of your famous jerk dip.

27
00:02:03,433 --> 00:02:06,478
Sorry. I spent all day
putting my office in order.

28
00:02:06,562 --> 00:02:09,356
Now I got to go home
and relax the traditional Jamaican way.

29
00:02:09,439 --> 00:02:11,525
A glass of warm milk
and a good night's sleep.

30
00:02:11,608 --> 00:02:15,153
Jamaican? I thought you were
some kind of outer space potato man.

31
00:02:15,279 --> 00:02:16,321
(DOORBELL RINGS)

32
00:02:16,446 --> 00:02:18,323
Ah, that must be my old boss.

33
00:02:20,158 --> 00:02:22,995
- Hello, Leela. You're fired.
- I know.

34
00:02:23,078 --> 00:02:26,623
I'm sorry, but it's just that you're over
a year late for work at this point.

35
00:02:26,707 --> 00:02:28,959
Let the games begin!

36
00:02:29,459 --> 00:02:34,256
So I told Leela, "Your request for a date
is most flattering, but I must decline.

37
00:02:34,339 --> 00:02:36,633
"These office romances never work out.

38
00:02:36,717 --> 00:02:40,012
"After all, that is how
I met my horrible wife."

39
00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:41,221
(ALL LAUGHING)

40
00:02:41,346 --> 00:02:43,307
BENDER: That's a good one.

41
00:02:43,599 --> 00:02:46,977
But you never wore your ring.
I didn't know you had a wife.

42
00:02:47,060 --> 00:02:48,896
And my wife doesn't know I have a job.

43
00:02:48,979 --> 00:02:51,607
I keep my personal
and professional life separate.

44
00:02:51,690 --> 00:02:53,150
Come on, let's deal.

45
00:02:53,233 --> 00:02:55,861
You'll have plenty of time
to talk when you're poor.

46
00:02:55,944 --> 00:02:57,237
What's with the specs, Bender?

47
00:02:57,321 --> 00:02:58,864
They're my lucky shades.

48
00:02:58,947 --> 00:03:00,782
I stole them off some lucky guy

49
00:03:00,866 --> 00:03:03,994
while his lucky seeing eye dog
was taking a whiz.

50
00:03:04,119 --> 00:03:05,329
Huh?

51
00:03:06,079 --> 00:03:07,080
(CHEWING)

52
00:03:08,999 --> 00:03:10,000
Hey!

53
00:03:11,126 --> 00:03:13,837
I can't spell anything with these cards.

54
00:03:17,382 --> 00:03:20,093
(BENDER VOCALIZING)

55
00:03:20,510 --> 00:03:23,388
Finally, I have a good claw. See?

56
00:03:23,472 --> 00:03:27,935
Three human females, a number
and a king giving himself brain surgery.

57
00:03:28,060 --> 00:03:31,230
(SIGHS) It doesn't matter
how many human females you have.

58
00:03:31,313 --> 00:03:32,439
Bender's on a hot streak.

59
00:03:32,522 --> 00:03:36,193
Eh, what can I say?
Must be my lucky shades.

60
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,612
- (LAUGHS)
- (SHADES BEEPING)

61
00:03:38,862 --> 00:03:40,239
BENDER: Nothing. Nothing.

62
00:03:40,322 --> 00:03:42,616
Crap. Crap. Garbage.

63
00:03:43,033 --> 00:03:45,202
Read 'em and leak saltwater.

64
00:03:45,410 --> 00:03:46,620
(ALL GROANING)

65
00:03:46,703 --> 00:03:48,330
My baby's milk money!

66
00:03:48,455 --> 00:03:49,790
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

67
00:03:49,873 --> 00:03:50,999
I am broke.

68
00:03:51,083 --> 00:03:52,960
What will I tell my horrible wife?

69
00:03:53,043 --> 00:03:54,503
If I were you I'd be more worried

70
00:03:54,586 --> 00:03:58,048
about that tapeworm
going to town on your intestines.

71
00:03:59,675 --> 00:04:02,177
Let me see those glasses.

72
00:04:02,261 --> 00:04:05,806
(COUGHS) Um... ah...

73
00:04:05,889 --> 00:04:08,850
Oh, my various gods, X-ray specs!

74
00:04:09,476 --> 00:04:11,979
Guys, I swear those are prescription.

75
00:04:12,062 --> 00:04:15,399
I need them for reading stuff...
On the other side of stuff.

76
00:04:15,482 --> 00:04:17,776
- You cheater.
- Break his neck!

77
00:04:17,859 --> 00:04:20,529
No, don't hurt him. He's my best friend.

78
00:04:32,291 --> 00:04:36,128
BENDER: Hey, you wouldn't hit a guy
with X-ray glasses, would you?

79
00:04:36,253 --> 00:04:37,254
(THUDDING)

80
00:04:37,379 --> 00:04:38,547
(BENDER GRUNTS) Easy on the arm!

81
00:04:39,590 --> 00:04:41,091
Oh, my ass!

82
00:04:41,341 --> 00:04:42,342
(BENDER GRUNTING) Ow!

83
00:04:42,467 --> 00:04:43,844
(HERMES VOCALIZING)

84
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:50,017
(CONTINUES VOCALIZING)

85
00:04:55,147 --> 00:04:57,983
(GASPS) Great cow of Moscow!

86
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,906
Uh... it was ghosts. Big ones.

87
00:05:04,281 --> 00:05:05,532
And a tornado.

88
00:05:05,657 --> 00:05:08,869
(CRYING) I'll never pass inspection now.

89
00:05:08,952 --> 00:05:13,206
They'll bust me lower than a limbo stick
at carnival time.

90
00:05:13,665 --> 00:05:17,169
And that's as low as limbo sticks get.

91
00:05:17,252 --> 00:05:20,172
Aw, hey, come on, don't worry.
We'll watch you clean up.

92
00:05:20,255 --> 00:05:21,381
It's too late.

93
00:05:21,465 --> 00:05:24,635
The inspector will be here
in exactly one second.

94
00:05:25,802 --> 00:05:26,887
Who the hell are you?

95
00:05:26,970 --> 00:05:29,222
Morgan Proctor, Bureaucrat, Grade 19.

96
00:05:29,306 --> 00:05:32,225
Hermes Conrad, Bureaucrat, Grade 36.

97
00:05:34,937 --> 00:05:37,272
Enough friendly banter.
Shall we begin the inspection?

98
00:05:37,356 --> 00:05:38,899
This way, please.

99
00:05:39,358 --> 00:05:42,069
Hermes, you seem awfully calm about this.

100
00:05:42,152 --> 00:05:44,488
Don't worry. I have a plan.

101
00:05:44,571 --> 00:05:45,948
I'm going to jump!

102
00:05:46,365 --> 00:05:47,908
ALL: No! No!

103
00:05:48,325 --> 00:05:49,576
Do a flip!

104
00:05:51,995 --> 00:05:55,415
Don't do it, Hermes!
You have so much to live for!

105
00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:57,751
I get it. Reverse psychology.

106
00:05:57,834 --> 00:06:00,045
Please, old friend, don't jump.

107
00:06:00,128 --> 00:06:02,881
Use another method
that won't damage your liver.

108
00:06:02,965 --> 00:06:06,009
- Other people need it, you know.
- (TIRES SCREECHING)

109
00:06:06,093 --> 00:06:07,928
Husband, no!

110
00:06:08,011 --> 00:06:09,304
Out of my way, wife!

111
00:06:09,388 --> 00:06:11,848
I wasn't cut out to be
a bureaucrat anyway.

112
00:06:11,932 --> 00:06:15,185
I'm only anal 78.36% of the time.

113
00:06:15,269 --> 00:06:17,312
I'm not worthy to stamp a form

114
00:06:17,396 --> 00:06:20,524
so I'll stamp the pavement
with my flabby body.

115
00:06:20,607 --> 00:06:22,150
Bureaucrat Conrad,

116
00:06:22,234 --> 00:06:24,528
if you complete your death transaction

117
00:06:24,611 --> 00:06:27,573
without filing a suicide
and/or falling accident permit

118
00:06:27,656 --> 00:06:29,825
you will be posthumously demoted.

119
00:06:30,450 --> 00:06:32,619
Life, death...

120
00:06:32,995 --> 00:06:36,415
Either way I'm demoted to a tiny cubicle.

121
00:06:36,623 --> 00:06:38,000
(SHIVERING)

122
00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:41,962
Sweet something of someplace.

123
00:06:42,045 --> 00:06:44,881
As your superior,
I hereby relieve you of duty.

124
00:06:45,132 --> 00:06:46,800
Consider yourself on paid vacation.

125
00:06:46,925 --> 00:06:49,678
(YELPS) The ultimate penalty.

126
00:06:49,761 --> 00:06:53,432
I recommend the health cure
on Spa 5, the sauna planet.

127
00:06:53,515 --> 00:06:56,435
- Here, read.
- Spa 5? Is it good?

128
00:06:56,518 --> 00:07:00,439
Oh, it's wonderful.
I don't know anything about it,

129
00:07:00,522 --> 00:07:03,483
but they give me a bucket of krill
for every patient I send.

130
00:07:03,567 --> 00:07:04,860
Naturally, I'll have to assign

131
00:07:04,943 --> 00:07:07,112
a bureaucrat to fill in for Hermes
while he's away.

132
00:07:07,195 --> 00:07:09,656
I assign me. I accept. Welcome aboard.

133
00:07:09,740 --> 00:07:14,328
Then it's settled. Hermes will relax
and Zoidberg will eat. Hurrah!

134
00:07:17,122 --> 00:07:19,333
I've been reviewing
your corporate records.

135
00:07:19,416 --> 00:07:20,918
Regarding last Monday's delivery,

136
00:07:21,001 --> 00:07:22,836
why did it take
twice as long as scheduled?

137
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,796
Fry got his head stuck in a crater.

138
00:07:24,963 --> 00:07:26,798
(GROANS) I thought it would fit.

139
00:07:27,758 --> 00:07:31,303
And during this period of head-crater
interaction, what were you doing?

140
00:07:31,386 --> 00:07:34,056
Martini drinking contest
with the autopilot.

141
00:07:34,139 --> 00:07:36,767
I would have had him this time,
but we ran out of olives.

142
00:07:36,850 --> 00:07:37,851
I can explain.

143
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:40,145
You really think you can explain
how you left port

144
00:07:40,229 --> 00:07:42,689
without a full complement of olives?
I think not.

145
00:07:42,773 --> 00:07:45,067
- What is this, high school?
- Locker check.

146
00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,614
Why isn't this jacket
in alphabetical order?

147
00:07:50,697 --> 00:07:52,074
- What?
- The zipper.

148
00:07:52,157 --> 00:07:53,992
It should be at the bottom.

149
00:07:59,331 --> 00:08:01,959
Hey, sometimes a guy gets lonely.

150
00:08:06,004 --> 00:08:07,005
(FLIES BUZZING)

151
00:08:07,130 --> 00:08:11,301
(STAMMERING)
I've never seen anything like this.

152
00:08:12,844 --> 00:08:16,098
- Why is there yogurt in this cap?
- I can explain that.

153
00:08:16,181 --> 00:08:20,227
See, it used to be milk, and, well,
time makes fools of us all.

154
00:08:20,310 --> 00:08:21,979
You are all dismissed.

155
00:08:22,062 --> 00:08:23,564
Fry, I will speak to you alone.

156
00:08:23,647 --> 00:08:24,648
(GASPS)

157
00:08:26,358 --> 00:08:27,359
(BEEPING)

158
00:08:28,443 --> 00:08:31,780
Uh, wait. This is the other Fry's locker.
I'm Fry with a P-H.

159
00:08:31,863 --> 00:08:33,949
Admit it, Fry, you're a slob.

160
00:08:34,032 --> 00:08:35,033
Mmm.

161
00:08:35,117 --> 00:08:37,411
A dirty, filthy slob.

162
00:08:39,454 --> 00:08:42,124
Dirty boy! Dirty, dirty, dirty!

163
00:08:42,207 --> 00:08:43,584
What the hell's going on?

164
00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:46,211
I thought you were anti-dirty,
not pro-dirty.

165
00:08:46,420 --> 00:08:48,547
I'm surrounded by neat freaks every day.

166
00:08:48,630 --> 00:08:52,259
There's nothing kinkier to me
than a filthy slop jock like you.

167
00:08:52,342 --> 00:08:53,427
Oh, stop.

168
00:08:53,677 --> 00:08:55,762
(BOTH MOANING)

169
00:08:55,846 --> 00:08:59,349
Now listen, you filthy pig,
no one can know about us.

170
00:08:59,433 --> 00:09:03,020
- If anyone asks, I'll deny it.
- Just like every other girl I've dated.

171
00:09:05,230 --> 00:09:09,735
And two, and three, and four,
and, come on, work those arms.

172
00:09:09,902 --> 00:09:11,320
(GRUNTING)

173
00:09:13,322 --> 00:09:16,116
This is no spa. It's a forced labor camp.

174
00:09:16,199 --> 00:09:18,994
Curse that Dr. Zoidberg.
If I get out of here,

175
00:09:19,077 --> 00:09:21,622
he'll be looking down
the business end of a shrimp fork.

176
00:09:21,705 --> 00:09:25,000
Give him one for me, too, mate.
I don't know why I go to him.

177
00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:27,461
- (LASER GUN FIRES)
- WOMAN: I don't miss twice, campers.

178
00:09:30,797 --> 00:09:35,344
And for those six and a half reasons
I am demoting Leela to copilot.

179
00:09:35,427 --> 00:09:37,387
"Copilot"? Under who?

180
00:09:37,471 --> 00:09:39,556
- The autopilot.
- That drunk?

181
00:09:39,723 --> 00:09:40,933
(LAUGHS)

182
00:09:41,016 --> 00:09:43,810
Mr. Bender, you are now
in charge of coordinating

183
00:09:43,894 --> 00:09:45,395
the professor's bodily functions.

184
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:47,856
- Ahh!
- That's a full-time job.

185
00:09:47,940 --> 00:09:49,358
And, Fry, as for you,

186
00:09:49,441 --> 00:09:51,902
I am promoting you
to executive delivery boy.

187
00:09:51,985 --> 00:09:53,570
You will no longer go on deliveries

188
00:09:53,654 --> 00:09:55,864
and you will have
your own office next to mine.

189
00:09:55,948 --> 00:09:57,491
All right!

190
00:09:58,867 --> 00:10:02,663
Mr. Bender, would you high-five him
so that we can continue this meeting?

191
00:10:03,497 --> 00:10:05,123
And on the rebound?

192
00:10:05,666 --> 00:10:06,792
Ow!

193
00:10:06,875 --> 00:10:08,085
Meeting adjourned.

194
00:10:10,921 --> 00:10:11,922
(BURPS)

195
00:10:12,047 --> 00:10:14,758
I can't figure out
why she's so nice to you, Fry.

196
00:10:14,841 --> 00:10:16,969
She's a hateful monster, this Morgan.

197
00:10:17,052 --> 00:10:18,553
She scolded and hit me.

198
00:10:18,637 --> 00:10:22,266
I tell you, she's risking
my friendship with her.

199
00:10:22,349 --> 00:10:24,017
Bender! What happened to you?

200
00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:26,436
Morgan made me walk the professor.

201
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:31,066
There we were in the park when suddenly,
some old lady says I stole her purse.

202
00:10:31,149 --> 00:10:32,734
I chucked the professor at her

203
00:10:32,818 --> 00:10:36,363
but she kept coming, so I had to hit her
with this purse I found.

204
00:10:36,446 --> 00:10:38,991
The point is, it's Morgan's fault.

205
00:10:39,074 --> 00:10:41,076
That pencil-pushing scaz-wag.

206
00:10:41,159 --> 00:10:43,412
Why, if she were here, I'd...

207
00:10:43,495 --> 00:10:45,038
Is she behind me?

208
00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:46,957
MORGAN: No, I'm in front of you.

209
00:10:47,082 --> 00:10:48,083
(SCREECHES)

210
00:10:49,209 --> 00:10:50,210
(DOORBELL RINGS)

211
00:10:52,379 --> 00:10:54,631
Morgan? It's 3:00 a.m.

212
00:10:54,715 --> 00:10:57,050
I know. A skunk knocked over my garbage

213
00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:59,303
and suddenly,
all I could think of was you.

214
00:11:03,432 --> 00:11:08,562
My God. It's so repulsive.

215
00:11:09,062 --> 00:11:11,565
So, this is where you eat?

216
00:11:11,648 --> 00:11:13,650
Eat and sleep.

217
00:11:14,401 --> 00:11:15,611
Oh, Fry!

218
00:11:17,654 --> 00:11:20,657
Uh, wait! Bender's my roommate.
He could be back any second.

219
00:11:20,741 --> 00:11:24,119
Not likely. I ordered him to flush out
the professor's ear wax.

220
00:11:27,539 --> 00:11:30,250
Hey, Fry, I made you a candle with...
(GASPS)

221
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:31,877
What the...

222
00:11:34,046 --> 00:11:38,508
Oh, now I see. Now I get it.

223
00:11:38,592 --> 00:11:40,886
Now the pieces are falling into place.

224
00:11:40,969 --> 00:11:42,804
The office, the promotion,

225
00:11:42,888 --> 00:11:45,891
that dwarf in my book club
who steals my opinions.

226
00:11:45,974 --> 00:11:47,893
It's all coming together now.

227
00:11:48,268 --> 00:11:51,730
- (CAR DOOR CLOSES)
- I must say this opens my eyes.

228
00:11:51,813 --> 00:11:54,816
Another case closed, my dear Watson.

229
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:57,194
Morgan, come back. He's stuck in a loop.

230
00:11:57,277 --> 00:12:00,656
For I was blind but now I see.

231
00:12:00,989 --> 00:12:03,158
The cat's out of the bag now.

232
00:12:03,242 --> 00:12:07,454
Mr. Bender, about last night,
that was just a misunderstanding.

233
00:12:07,704 --> 00:12:10,165
You didn't understand?
Well, let me explain.

234
00:12:10,249 --> 00:12:12,626
You were having sex with you.

235
00:12:12,709 --> 00:12:16,380
No, you see, a bureaucrat of my rank
isn't supposed to fraternize.

236
00:12:16,463 --> 00:12:18,590
That's what makes it so juicy.

237
00:12:18,674 --> 00:12:21,635
It's a forbidden fruit angle
everybody loves.

238
00:12:21,718 --> 00:12:25,347
First I'll say, "You'll never guess
who saw Fry and Morgan doing it."

239
00:12:25,430 --> 00:12:27,015
And they'll say, "Who, Bender, who?"

240
00:12:27,099 --> 00:12:32,688
And I'll say, "It was lovable old Bender."

241
00:12:32,771 --> 00:12:35,983
- Hey, what did you do to him?
- I downloaded his brain.

242
00:12:36,066 --> 00:12:37,901
Everything that is Bender is right here.

243
00:12:37,985 --> 00:12:41,405
His mind, his memories...
His in-your-face interface.

244
00:12:41,488 --> 00:12:44,575
I am Bender. Please insert girder.

245
00:12:44,658 --> 00:12:48,662
But, Bender need brain for smart making.

246
00:12:51,039 --> 00:12:53,792
What did you do now? Stop doing things.

247
00:12:53,875 --> 00:12:56,670
I sent the disk to be filed
at the Central Bureaucracy.

248
00:12:56,753 --> 00:12:59,590
I did what I had to do, Fry.
He was a bad robot.

249
00:12:59,673 --> 00:13:02,968
No, he was a bad friend.
I want him back right now.

250
00:13:03,051 --> 00:13:05,762
Then you should have filed
a request 20 years ago.

251
00:13:05,887 --> 00:13:08,974
Grr! I'm sick of you and your bureaucracy.

252
00:13:11,602 --> 00:13:12,895
Dirty boy!

253
00:13:12,978 --> 00:13:14,271
Dirty boy!

254
00:13:19,359 --> 00:13:21,570
You and Morgan were having an affair?

255
00:13:21,653 --> 00:13:22,654
I couldn't help it.

256
00:13:22,738 --> 00:13:25,032
She loved me because of the part of me
that's a slob.

257
00:13:25,115 --> 00:13:27,534
I loved her because of the part of me
that's desperate.

258
00:13:27,618 --> 00:13:30,996
I am Bender. Please insert girder.

259
00:13:31,079 --> 00:13:32,205
Poor Bender.

260
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:34,958
Without his brain
he's become all quiet and helpful.

261
00:13:35,042 --> 00:13:38,295
We've got to go to the Central Bureaucracy
and get that disk back.

262
00:13:38,378 --> 00:13:40,672
- Yes, we must.
- Yeah.

263
00:13:40,756 --> 00:13:42,549
Why?

264
00:13:43,425 --> 00:13:46,094
Well, those arguments aside,
we're still going.

265
00:13:46,178 --> 00:13:49,306
You can't just waltz into
the Central Bureaucracy.

266
00:13:49,389 --> 00:13:52,726
It's a tangled web of red tape
and regulations.

267
00:13:52,809 --> 00:13:55,896
I've never been,
but a friend of mine went completely mad

268
00:13:55,979 --> 00:13:57,940
just trying to find the washroom there.

269
00:13:58,023 --> 00:14:00,734
Then we'll need a guide.
Someone who's been there before.

270
00:14:00,817 --> 00:14:03,820
I've been there. Lots of times.

271
00:14:04,154 --> 00:14:05,864
(LAUGHS CRAZILY)

272
00:14:09,534 --> 00:14:12,955
Look at that. The carts go out full,
but they come in empty.

273
00:14:13,038 --> 00:14:15,582
- It's criminally inefficient.
- Quiet, mate.

274
00:14:15,666 --> 00:14:19,086
Pulling the empty carts is
the closest thing we get to sleep.

275
00:14:19,169 --> 00:14:20,170
But don't ya see?

276
00:14:20,254 --> 00:14:23,590
They could increase efficiency 4%
if they used the empty carts

277
00:14:23,674 --> 00:14:25,342
to bring in heavy mining machinery.

278
00:14:25,425 --> 00:14:27,886
Hey, I like the way you think.

279
00:14:29,721 --> 00:14:31,098
(GROANS)

280
00:14:31,181 --> 00:14:32,349
Oh, Lord.

281
00:14:33,558 --> 00:14:36,770
You know, you ought to be
a bureaucrat or something.

282
00:14:45,862 --> 00:14:47,656
Man, how long is this going to take?

283
00:14:47,739 --> 00:14:49,783
I'm still waiting on my birth certificate.

284
00:14:49,866 --> 00:14:53,078
Well, it doesn't look like
I'll make it inside with the rest of you.

285
00:14:53,161 --> 00:14:55,914
But good luck. Just leave me where I drop.

286
00:14:57,791 --> 00:14:59,918
Oh, great. Someone had a baby.

287
00:15:00,002 --> 00:15:02,087
Come on. I have a better idea.

288
00:15:02,671 --> 00:15:06,174
Excuse me. We're from
the Planet Express delivery company.

289
00:15:06,258 --> 00:15:07,884
We're here to deliver a robot.

290
00:15:07,968 --> 00:15:09,219
I am Bender.

291
00:15:09,303 --> 00:15:11,305
Please insert girder.

292
00:15:11,430 --> 00:15:14,349
(LAUGHS)
Looks like we've got a new office cutup.

293
00:15:25,527 --> 00:15:27,362
Look out!

294
00:15:27,487 --> 00:15:31,158
I'm going to crash my slow-mobile.
I had to swerve to avoid you.

295
00:15:31,241 --> 00:15:34,870
While you're crashing could you tell us
where all these canisters end up?

296
00:15:34,953 --> 00:15:36,872
Oh, you want Central Filing.

297
00:15:36,955 --> 00:15:38,040
- Okay.
- Thank you.

298
00:15:38,123 --> 00:15:39,374
- Thanks.
- Wonderful.

299
00:15:40,042 --> 00:15:41,960
MAN: No!

300
00:15:45,047 --> 00:15:47,257
Central Filing?
Of course I know where that is.

301
00:15:47,341 --> 00:15:49,051
- I'm a Grade 20.
- Where is it?

302
00:15:49,134 --> 00:15:52,804
I can't tell you. What do I look like?
A Grade 16? (SNORT LAUGHS)

303
00:15:52,888 --> 00:15:55,766
(SIGHS) We're getting nowhere slowly.

304
00:15:55,849 --> 00:15:58,602
Here. I'll address this
to the Central Filing room.

305
00:15:58,685 --> 00:16:02,606
Then we'll track it
with my wrist LoJack-a-mater.

306
00:16:02,689 --> 00:16:03,899
(AUTOMATED VOICE SPEAKING) Cold.

307
00:16:04,024 --> 00:16:05,067
Warmer.

308
00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:07,277
Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.

309
00:16:19,081 --> 00:16:20,082
(SNORES)

310
00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:30,259
Please don't tell my supervisor
I was sleeping.

311
00:16:32,970 --> 00:16:37,140
This is it. We'll just run in,
grab Bender's disk, and run out. Got it?

312
00:16:37,224 --> 00:16:38,225
(ALL AGREEING)

313
00:16:40,102 --> 00:16:41,103
(ALL GASP)

314
00:16:48,068 --> 00:16:50,320
We'll never find that disk,
will we, Bender?

315
00:16:50,404 --> 00:16:53,574
I am Bender. Please insert girder.

316
00:16:53,657 --> 00:16:57,369
You're right. Nothing is over
as long as there's one thin ray of hope.

317
00:16:57,452 --> 00:16:58,620
Lost something?

318
00:16:58,704 --> 00:17:02,457
I should have known you'd come here
rather than follow proper procedure.

319
00:17:02,541 --> 00:17:05,294
And I did know,
and that's why I came here.

320
00:17:05,377 --> 00:17:07,045
Listen, Morgan, we're through.

321
00:17:07,129 --> 00:17:10,215
You're an evil, heartless woman
and I never want to see you again.

322
00:17:10,299 --> 00:17:12,968
However, would you help us get Bender back
for old times' sake?

323
00:17:13,051 --> 00:17:16,388
I'm afraid he's lost
in the master in-pile.

324
00:17:16,471 --> 00:17:18,098
And it would take some sort of giant

325
00:17:18,181 --> 00:17:21,018
mechanical atomic-powered
sorting machine to find him.

326
00:17:21,101 --> 00:17:22,352
MAN: You rang?

327
00:17:24,354 --> 00:17:28,442
Damn it, Hermes, just jump already.
Stop hogging that healthy liver.

328
00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:30,360
No, I want to live.

329
00:17:30,444 --> 00:17:34,990
Organizing that forced-labor spa
rekindled my lifelong love of Bureaucracy.

330
00:17:35,073 --> 00:17:38,619
My Hermes got that hellhole
running so efficiently

331
00:17:38,702 --> 00:17:43,373
that all the physical labor is now done
by a single Australian man.

332
00:17:43,457 --> 00:17:45,000
But how did you know we were here?

333
00:17:45,083 --> 00:17:46,501
Dr. Zoidberg brought us.

334
00:17:46,585 --> 00:17:49,671
It was me. I'm the hero.

335
00:17:49,755 --> 00:17:50,756
- (PLANE ROARING)
- (GASPS)

336
00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:56,178
Request for explanation
of incident meeting.

337
00:17:56,303 --> 00:17:59,139
(ALL GASPING)

338
00:17:59,222 --> 00:18:02,517
- Number one point zero.
- Number one point zero.

339
00:18:02,601 --> 00:18:03,936
I hereby petition you

340
00:18:04,019 --> 00:18:07,189
for an emergency sort-and-file
under regulation two-point...

341
00:18:07,272 --> 00:18:10,692
(ADMONISHES) Don't quote me regulations.

342
00:18:10,776 --> 00:18:13,737
I co-chaired the committee
that reviewed the recommendation

343
00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:17,157
to revise the color of the book
that regulation's in.

344
00:18:17,241 --> 00:18:19,117
We kept it gray.

345
00:18:19,201 --> 00:18:23,163
Sir, please. I must locate the disk
with my friend's brain on it.

346
00:18:23,247 --> 00:18:27,417
Very well. But your bureaucratic license
will be revoked

347
00:18:27,501 --> 00:18:31,421
if you fail to sort the master in-pile
by closing time.

348
00:18:31,505 --> 00:18:32,839
1:00 p.m.

349
00:18:33,882 --> 00:18:35,842
That's only four minutes from now.

350
00:18:36,176 --> 00:18:38,053
Requisition me a beat.

351
00:18:44,184 --> 00:18:45,435
(CARIBBEAN MUSIC PLAYING)

352
00:18:47,729 --> 00:18:50,774
(SINGING) When I was four there was
A hurricane in Kingston town

353
00:18:50,857 --> 00:18:52,776
With a foot and a half of water

354
00:18:53,235 --> 00:18:55,737
Everyone was all right,
But I cried all night

355
00:18:55,821 --> 00:18:58,115
It blew my alphabet blocks out of order

356
00:18:58,198 --> 00:19:01,410
And they said this boy's born
To be a bureaucrat

357
00:19:01,493 --> 00:19:03,704
Born to be all obsessive and snotty

358
00:19:03,787 --> 00:19:05,414
I made my friends and relations

359
00:19:05,497 --> 00:19:06,832
File long applications

360
00:19:06,915 --> 00:19:08,959
To get into my tenth birthday party

361
00:19:09,042 --> 00:19:12,170
But something changed
When my man turned pro

362
00:19:12,254 --> 00:19:14,464
I was sorting but I wasn't smiling

363
00:19:14,548 --> 00:19:17,301
He forgot that it's not
About badges and ranks

364
00:19:17,384 --> 00:19:19,761
It's supposed to be about the filing

365
00:19:19,845 --> 00:19:20,846
People

366
00:19:20,929 --> 00:19:22,514
We didn't choose to be bureaucrats

367
00:19:22,598 --> 00:19:25,392
No, that's what almighty Jah made us

368
00:19:25,475 --> 00:19:28,020
We'd treat people like swine
And make 'em stand in line

369
00:19:28,103 --> 00:19:30,188
Even if nobody paid us

370
00:19:30,272 --> 00:19:33,317
They say the world looks down
On the bureaucrats

371
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,069
They say we're anal compulsive and weird

372
00:19:36,153 --> 00:19:38,780
But when push comes to shove
You've got to do what you love

373
00:19:38,864 --> 00:19:40,782
Even if it's not a good idea

374
00:19:40,866 --> 00:19:41,867
Zoidberg!

375
00:19:41,950 --> 00:19:44,036
They said I probably
Shouldn't be a surgeon

376
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:46,663
They pooh-poohed my electric frankfurter

377
00:19:46,747 --> 00:19:49,583
They said I probably
Shouldn't fly with just one eye

378
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:52,085
I am Bender
Please insert girder

379
00:19:54,296 --> 00:19:55,714
Everybody sing Jamaica

380
00:19:55,797 --> 00:19:56,924
Jamaica

381
00:19:57,007 --> 00:19:59,134
Just the bureaucrats
Jamaica

382
00:19:59,217 --> 00:20:01,053
Just the Grade 19s

383
00:20:01,136 --> 00:20:02,304
Jamaica

384
00:20:02,387 --> 00:20:03,388
Sing me home

385
00:20:03,472 --> 00:20:05,807
When push comes to shove
You've got to do what you love

386
00:20:05,891 --> 00:20:07,601
Even if it's not a good idea

387
00:20:10,145 --> 00:20:11,813
I'm Bender, baby!

388
00:20:11,897 --> 00:20:13,815
Please insert liquor!

389
00:20:13,982 --> 00:20:14,983
(ALL CHEERING)

390
00:20:15,108 --> 00:20:16,818
- Congratulations.
- Way to go.

391
00:20:16,902 --> 00:20:18,237
Congratulations indeed.

392
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,198
But you finished with two seconds to spare
so I'm demoting you.

393
00:20:21,281 --> 00:20:23,450
A good bureaucrat never finishes early.

394
00:20:24,201 --> 00:20:27,120
That's okay, Hermes.
At least we have you back.

395
00:20:27,204 --> 00:20:28,330
MORGAN: Not yet, you don't.

396
00:20:28,413 --> 00:20:30,958
I'm still acting bureaucrat
of Planet Express

397
00:20:31,041 --> 00:20:32,834
and I have some changes to make.

398
00:20:32,918 --> 00:20:35,671
First, Fry, you're fired. Second...

399
00:20:35,754 --> 00:20:36,797
Not so fast.

400
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:37,965
While I was sorting

401
00:20:38,048 --> 00:20:41,468
I came upon a certain document
filed by one Morgan Proctor.

402
00:20:41,551 --> 00:20:42,678
Form "B."

403
00:20:42,761 --> 00:20:45,847
Notification of romantic entanglement.

404
00:20:45,931 --> 00:20:47,808
That's right. She fraternized me.

405
00:20:47,891 --> 00:20:51,895
That form isn't about you.
It refers to my high school prom date.

406
00:20:51,979 --> 00:20:55,148
It was a regulation date that ended
in regulation disappointment.

407
00:20:55,232 --> 00:20:58,485
Yes, but you only stamped it four times.

408
00:20:58,569 --> 00:21:00,320
(BUREAUCRATS GASP)

409
00:21:00,404 --> 00:21:03,532
No, no. I was young and reckless.

410
00:21:03,615 --> 00:21:06,577
Bureaucrat Conrad,
you are technically correct.

411
00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:08,412
The best kind of correct.

412
00:21:08,495 --> 00:21:11,373
I hereby promote you to Grade 37.

413
00:21:12,583 --> 00:21:14,960
And as for you. Guards.

414
00:21:16,003 --> 00:21:19,381
Bring me the forms
I need to fill out to have her taken away.

415
00:21:21,675 --> 00:21:25,387
Well, it looks like I'll be needing
my heroic bureaucrat back.

416
00:21:25,470 --> 00:21:27,723
At severely reduced pay, of course.

417
00:21:27,806 --> 00:21:29,016
(ALL CHEERING)

418
00:21:29,099 --> 00:21:30,767
It's better than nothing.

419
00:21:30,851 --> 00:21:33,353
What about me? Can I come back
at severely reduced pay?

420
00:21:33,437 --> 00:21:37,900
You got it, mon.
In fact, severely reduced pay all around.

421
00:21:38,150 --> 00:21:39,151
(ALL CHEERING)

422
00:21:41,528 --> 00:21:44,281
Come on, wife. Let's blow this joint.

423
00:21:46,158 --> 00:21:48,160
Now it's time for my song.

424
00:21:48,660 --> 00:21:51,455
(SINGING) When I was two
There was a tidal wave in...

425
00:21:51,914 --> 00:21:52,915
Aw...

426
00:21:55,792 --> 00:21:57,794
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)