1
00:00:32,944 --> 00:00:34,154
Good news, everyone.

2
00:00:34,237 --> 00:00:38,116
The university is bringing me up
on disciplinary charges.

3
00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:40,661
Wait. That's not good news at all.

4
00:00:40,744 --> 00:00:44,247
Whatever you did, Professor,
I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.

5
00:00:44,331 --> 00:00:46,249
Yes, but they won't listen.

6
00:00:46,333 --> 00:00:49,503
Everyone's always in favor
of saving Hitler's brain,

7
00:00:49,586 --> 00:00:52,297
but when you put it in the body
of a great white shark,

8
00:00:52,381 --> 00:00:54,716
ooh, suddenly, you've gone too far.

9
00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:07,562
Professor Farnsworth.

10
00:01:07,646 --> 00:01:10,065
Do you know why
we've called you here today?

11
00:01:10,148 --> 00:01:12,359
Listen to me, you pompous frauds.

12
00:01:12,442 --> 00:01:15,570
If I'm going down,
I'm taking you all with me.

13
00:01:15,654 --> 00:01:17,906
Dean Vernon, I know the truth.

14
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:22,327
It was you driving your hover car
that night, not your horse.

15
00:01:22,411 --> 00:01:28,333
Dean Epsilon, I know all about
your Department of Pool Boy Studies.

16
00:01:28,417 --> 00:01:29,876
And Dr. Wornstrum...

17
00:01:30,794 --> 00:01:32,379
Wornstrum...

18
00:01:32,462 --> 00:01:35,716
Actually, Professor, we merely
called you here to say...

19
00:01:35,799 --> 00:01:36,883
Surprise!

20
00:01:36,967 --> 00:01:39,511
- Happy birthday!
- Surprise! Happy birthday!

21
00:01:39,594 --> 00:01:40,721
Surprise!

22
00:01:40,929 --> 00:01:42,764
And you, Coach Smalley,

23
00:01:42,848 --> 00:01:45,892
or should I say, "Coach Hairpiece?"

24
00:01:45,976 --> 00:01:48,770
No, Professor. It's a surprise party

25
00:01:48,854 --> 00:01:50,939
for your 150th birthday.

26
00:01:51,523 --> 00:01:52,983
What? Oh!

27
00:01:56,069 --> 00:01:57,738
Good evening. I'm...

28
00:01:58,280 --> 00:01:59,364
Whoa. Sorry.

29
00:01:59,448 --> 00:02:02,075
I'm Bender,
and I'll be emceeing this roast.

30
00:02:02,159 --> 00:02:05,579
You know, they say you can judge a man
by the company he keeps.

31
00:02:05,662 --> 00:02:10,667
So here's the professor's oldest friend,
a grotesque, stinking lobster.

32
00:02:13,587 --> 00:02:15,547
Good evening, ladies and germs.

33
00:02:16,798 --> 00:02:18,091
That wasn't a joke.

34
00:02:18,175 --> 00:02:20,469
I was talking to Dean Streptococcus.

35
00:02:21,261 --> 00:02:24,723
Now, I'm not saying
Professor Farnsworth is old,

36
00:02:24,806 --> 00:02:28,310
but if you consider his age,
he's likely to die soon.

37
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,522
Hey, Ringo, that was the joke.

38
00:02:33,857 --> 00:02:37,235
It's Showtime at the Apollo
all over again.

39
00:02:38,570 --> 00:02:42,240
Where would a professor be
without students who love and respect him?

40
00:02:42,658 --> 00:02:44,534
Right there!

41
00:02:44,951 --> 00:02:49,456
But, seriously, of all the former crew
members of the professor's delivery ship

42
00:02:49,539 --> 00:02:52,751
our next speaker is by far the most alive.

43
00:02:52,834 --> 00:02:53,835
Captain Musky?

44
00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:08,433
I wouldn't want to follow that guy.

45
00:03:11,353 --> 00:03:14,314
And now a man who needs no introduction.

46
00:03:20,237 --> 00:03:21,655
- Fry! Get up there!
- Hmm?

47
00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:25,701
Thank you.

48
00:03:25,784 --> 00:03:27,786
You know, when I was first asked
to make a film

49
00:03:27,869 --> 00:03:30,080
about my nephew, Professor Farnsworth...

50
00:03:30,163 --> 00:03:31,832
I thought, "Why should I?"

51
00:03:31,915 --> 00:03:33,375
Then later, Leela made the film,

52
00:03:33,458 --> 00:03:34,918
but if I had made the film,

53
00:03:35,002 --> 00:03:37,921
you can bet there would have been
more topless women on motorcycles.

54
00:03:38,005 --> 00:03:39,172
Roll film.

55
00:03:46,596 --> 00:03:50,517
Hubert J Farnsworth
was born April 9, 2851,

56
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:54,396
in New New York's nerdiest slum,
Hell's Laboratory.

57
00:03:54,479 --> 00:03:57,649
A precocious child,
young Hubert learned to read

58
00:03:57,733 --> 00:04:00,444
while he was still in diapers,
at age eight,

59
00:04:00,527 --> 00:04:04,489
and before long, he blossomed
into a greasy teenager.

60
00:04:04,573 --> 00:04:05,615
Dork alert!

61
00:04:05,699 --> 00:04:07,909
After 14 years of graduate school,

62
00:04:07,993 --> 00:04:11,204
Farnsworth settled into the
glamorous life of a scientist.

63
00:04:11,288 --> 00:04:14,875
Fast cars. trendy nightspots,
beautiful women,

64
00:04:14,958 --> 00:04:19,630
the professor designed them all working
out of his tiny one-room apartment.

65
00:04:19,713 --> 00:04:23,175
For 50 years, he worked
at Mom's Friendly Robot Company

66
00:04:23,258 --> 00:04:27,596
where he created the first robot
capable of qualifying for a boat loan.

67
00:04:27,679 --> 00:04:31,850
And now, even as he nears
his 150th birthday,

68
00:04:31,933 --> 00:04:35,103
the professor retains
the fiery passion of youth.

69
00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:37,356
Listen to me, you pompous frauds!

70
00:04:37,439 --> 00:04:40,609
If I'm going down,
I'm taking you all with me.

71
00:04:47,699 --> 00:04:49,701
How about a few words, Professor?

72
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,538
I said "words."

73
00:04:56,458 --> 00:04:57,459
Uh...

74
00:04:57,542 --> 00:05:01,213
What a pleasure it is
to see my lifetime of accomplishment

75
00:05:01,296 --> 00:05:03,799
summed up in a three-minute film.

76
00:05:04,424 --> 00:05:06,927
My best years are behind me,

77
00:05:07,010 --> 00:05:11,932
so much left undone, so little time.

78
00:05:17,312 --> 00:05:19,398
Funny, funny stuff.

79
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:23,902
My life is over.

80
00:05:23,986 --> 00:05:25,278
No, it isn't.

81
00:05:25,362 --> 00:05:27,072
You have another 10 years left.

82
00:05:27,155 --> 00:05:30,200
Leela, he could live another 100 years.

83
00:05:30,742 --> 00:05:32,452
No, he couldn't.

84
00:05:32,536 --> 00:05:34,121
When you turn 160,

85
00:05:34,204 --> 00:05:37,916
robots from the Sunset Squad
take you to a mysterious planet,

86
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,501
and you never return.

87
00:05:39,584 --> 00:05:42,796
Wow. A whole planet of old people.
Where is it?

88
00:05:42,879 --> 00:05:44,673
Nobody knows.

89
00:05:44,756 --> 00:05:49,636
So many loves half-loved,
so many inventions half-invented.

90
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:53,724
That damn time machine alone
set me back 15 years.

91
00:05:53,849 --> 00:05:56,059
If only it had worked,

92
00:05:56,143 --> 00:05:58,437
you could go back
and not waste your time on it.

93
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:01,106
There's no one to carry on
after I'm gone,

94
00:06:01,189 --> 00:06:06,028
no one to take over my work
and my research and my fabulous fortune.

95
00:06:06,153 --> 00:06:08,196
By God, that's it!

96
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,157
I've got to name a successor.

97
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:11,700
A successor?

98
00:06:11,783 --> 00:06:13,702
A successor to the professor?

99
00:06:13,785 --> 00:06:15,120
There's no time to lose.

100
00:06:15,203 --> 00:06:19,750
I'm off to my lab to build
a successor-naming machine.

101
00:06:21,752 --> 00:06:24,212
Man, the professor's
been in his lab for days.

102
00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:25,464
I hope he didn't die.

103
00:06:25,547 --> 00:06:27,799
unless he left a note
naming me his successor.

104
00:06:27,883 --> 00:06:28,967
Then I hope he did die.

105
00:06:29,051 --> 00:06:32,179
You the successor?
Over my empty shell.

106
00:06:32,262 --> 00:06:36,767
The professor will pick me.
Only I have his lobster-like tenacity.

107
00:06:36,850 --> 00:06:38,435
Up yours, Zoidberg.

108
00:06:38,518 --> 00:06:41,647
Up wherever your species
traditionally crams things.

109
00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:45,734
The only sensible way to pick a successor
is with a limbo contest.

110
00:06:45,817 --> 00:06:47,361
- What?
- Kingston rules.

111
00:06:47,444 --> 00:06:49,488
Two men go down, one come up.

112
00:06:52,783 --> 00:06:55,994
Look, the professor trusts me
with a giant spaceship.

113
00:06:56,078 --> 00:06:58,246
He wouldn't trust
the rest of you with his dentures.

114
00:06:58,330 --> 00:06:59,539
Yes, he would.

115
00:06:59,623 --> 00:07:01,375
Sorry, everyone, but need I remind you?

116
00:07:01,458 --> 00:07:03,585
Blood is thicker than water.

117
00:07:03,669 --> 00:07:06,713
"Blood, thicker, water."

118
00:07:09,132 --> 00:07:11,885
Everyone, I have
a very dramatic announcement.

119
00:07:11,969 --> 00:07:14,805
So anyone with a weak heart
should leave now.

120
00:07:15,389 --> 00:07:16,390
Goodbye.

121
00:07:17,391 --> 00:07:18,767
Uh, Professor?

122
00:07:18,850 --> 00:07:21,269
Oh, yes, the announcement.

123
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:24,189
As you all know,
I am not long for this world.

124
00:07:24,272 --> 00:07:25,774
- Yes, we do.
- True that.

125
00:07:25,857 --> 00:07:27,567
- Yeah, I know.
- One foot in the grave.

126
00:07:27,651 --> 00:07:29,695
So I've picked my successor.

127
00:07:29,778 --> 00:07:32,114
It's someone in whom I have great faith,

128
00:07:32,197 --> 00:07:35,617
even though his mind is undeveloped
and he's accomplished nothing.

129
00:07:37,327 --> 00:07:40,289
- My closest living relative...
- Oh, yeah.

130
00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:43,583
...my clone, Cubert Farnsworth.

131
00:07:56,221 --> 00:07:57,347
He's horrible!

132
00:07:58,015 --> 00:08:00,809
Crud. Can I at least be
in charge of your dentures?

133
00:08:00,892 --> 00:08:02,102
You wish.

134
00:08:06,189 --> 00:08:07,649
Where did Cubert come from?

135
00:08:07,733 --> 00:08:10,485
Twelve years ago,
I began the cloning process

136
00:08:10,569 --> 00:08:12,529
by removing some skin cells

137
00:08:12,612 --> 00:08:15,324
from one of the
shapelier growths on my back.

138
00:08:15,407 --> 00:08:18,952
Wait. If he's your clone,
why doesn't his nose look like yours?

139
00:08:19,036 --> 00:08:23,332
I left him in his first tube too long,
and he got squished up against the side.

140
00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:25,083
Is he dumb or just ugly?

141
00:08:25,167 --> 00:08:26,501
Let's find out.

142
00:08:35,260 --> 00:08:38,096
What, you've never seen
a genius's wiener before?

143
00:08:38,180 --> 00:08:40,557
- No. Never.
- Well, once in the park.

144
00:08:48,273 --> 00:08:49,274
Mmm...

145
00:08:49,399 --> 00:08:54,196
As long as I'm going to be in charge here,
let me examine my so-called crew.

146
00:08:54,279 --> 00:08:56,281
If it can so be called.

147
00:08:56,365 --> 00:09:01,119
First of all, Dr Zoidberg,
do you even have a medical degree?

148
00:09:01,203 --> 00:09:04,081
I lost it in a volcano.

149
00:09:04,164 --> 00:09:07,751
And why do we need a bending robot
around here anyway?

150
00:09:07,834 --> 00:09:10,087
What possible use do we have for you?

151
00:09:10,253 --> 00:09:12,339
Uh... Me no speaka the English.

152
00:09:12,422 --> 00:09:15,676
And why does our space pilot
have only one eye?

153
00:09:15,759 --> 00:09:17,386
There's someone I'd like you to meet.

154
00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:20,722
His name is depth perception.

155
00:09:20,889 --> 00:09:22,432
Why, you little...

156
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:26,353
Wow! That hurt. The air.

157
00:09:26,436 --> 00:09:29,022
Him pending para un bending.

158
00:09:29,106 --> 00:09:30,565
Oh, Cubert, come in here.

159
00:09:30,649 --> 00:09:32,734
I have something amazing to show you.

160
00:09:32,818 --> 00:09:35,153
What is it? A competent employee?

161
00:09:35,237 --> 00:09:37,739
I doubt that very much.

162
00:09:38,782 --> 00:09:40,033
Little twerp.

163
00:09:40,117 --> 00:09:41,576
Ay, Chihuahua!

164
00:09:43,203 --> 00:09:47,541
Cubert, as my successor,
I'm trusting you to carry on my work.

165
00:09:47,624 --> 00:09:50,294
These are just some of
the half-finished inventions

166
00:09:50,377 --> 00:09:52,004
you'll spend your life finishing.

167
00:09:52,087 --> 00:09:55,632
I didn't realize you were the inventor
of the junk heap.

168
00:09:55,716 --> 00:09:58,343
That's my prize-winning smell-a-scope.

169
00:09:58,427 --> 00:10:03,390
If a dog craps anywhere in the universe,
you can bet I won't be out of the loop.

170
00:10:03,473 --> 00:10:07,019
And this is my universal translator.

171
00:10:07,102 --> 00:10:12,607
Unfortunately, so far, it only translates
into an incomprehensible dead language.

172
00:10:12,691 --> 00:10:14,026
- Hello.
- Bonjour.

173
00:10:14,109 --> 00:10:15,193
Crazy gibberish.

174
00:10:15,277 --> 00:10:17,738
Don't you have any worthwhile inventions?

175
00:10:17,821 --> 00:10:20,532
Why, certainly. Step over here.

176
00:10:20,615 --> 00:10:23,869
These are the dark-matter
engines I invented.

177
00:10:23,952 --> 00:10:29,082
They allow my starship
to travel between galaxies in mere hours.

178
00:10:29,166 --> 00:10:32,669
That's impossible. You can't go
faster than the speed of light.

179
00:10:32,753 --> 00:10:33,962
Of course not.

180
00:10:34,046 --> 00:10:38,175
That's why scientists increased
the speed of light in 2208.

181
00:10:38,258 --> 00:10:39,509
Also impossible.

182
00:10:39,593 --> 00:10:43,347
And what makes my engines truly remarkable
is the afterburner,

183
00:10:43,430 --> 00:10:46,183
which delivers 200% fuel efficiency.

184
00:10:46,266 --> 00:10:48,310
That's especially impossible.

185
00:10:48,393 --> 00:10:50,604
Not at all. It's very simple.

186
00:10:50,687 --> 00:10:52,022
Then explain it.

187
00:10:52,105 --> 00:10:53,732
Now, that's impossible.

188
00:10:53,815 --> 00:10:57,527
It came to me in a dream,
and I forgot it in another dream.

189
00:10:57,611 --> 00:11:01,740
Your explanations are pure
weapons-grade bologna-ium.

190
00:11:01,823 --> 00:11:03,492
It's all impossible.

191
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:06,536
Nothing is impossible.
Not if you can imagine it.

192
00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:09,373
That's what being a scientist
is all about.

193
00:11:09,456 --> 00:11:13,001
No, that's what being
a magical elf is all about.

194
00:11:18,006 --> 00:11:19,091
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

195
00:11:19,216 --> 00:11:21,009
It's Elzar, the TV chef!

196
00:11:21,093 --> 00:11:22,511
Oh, kill me now, people.

197
00:11:22,594 --> 00:11:23,720
How we doin' here?

198
00:11:23,804 --> 00:11:27,182
Oh, Elzar! Everything's so good.

199
00:11:27,265 --> 00:11:29,184
What are you, an ass-kissing machine?

200
00:11:29,267 --> 00:11:31,061
Yes, sir. Good one, sir.

201
00:11:31,228 --> 00:11:33,522
Oh, it's a gem of an evening.

202
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:37,859
I feel so wonderful having someone
to take over my life's work,

203
00:11:37,943 --> 00:11:40,404
and it's all thanks to Cubert.

204
00:11:40,821 --> 00:11:44,282
Look, Professor, I may be identical
to you in every possible way,

205
00:11:44,366 --> 00:11:46,910
but that doesn't mean
I'm anything like you.

206
00:11:46,994 --> 00:11:50,122
- Yeah, well... What?
- I don't want to be an inventor.

207
00:11:50,205 --> 00:11:51,707
I want to be something useful,

208
00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:56,628
like a teacher's aide or a prison guard
or a science fiction cartoon writer.

209
00:11:56,712 --> 00:12:02,134
But what about my hopes and my dreams
and my wonderful inventions?

210
00:12:02,217 --> 00:12:06,179
In your entire life,
your only half-decent invention was me,

211
00:12:06,263 --> 00:12:08,223
and I didn't turn out
like you wanted either.

212
00:12:13,312 --> 00:12:14,855
You folks still doing all right?

213
00:12:14,938 --> 00:12:16,356
Oh, yes, Elzar.

214
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,775
Good. 'cause it turns out
I forgot to cook that chicken.

215
00:12:24,323 --> 00:12:25,741
Bad news, everyone.

216
00:12:25,824 --> 00:12:29,119
By the time you watch this tape,
I'll be gone,

217
00:12:29,202 --> 00:12:34,082
leaving behind nothing but a history
of failure and my original hip bones.

218
00:12:34,166 --> 00:12:36,877
You see,
I've been lying about my age.

219
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,087
I'm not actually 150.

220
00:12:39,171 --> 00:12:41,089
I'm 160.

221
00:12:41,173 --> 00:12:44,593
Oh, Vanity, thy name
is Professor Farnsworth.

222
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,887
and now that I have nothing to live for,

223
00:12:46,970 --> 00:12:51,141
I've alerted the Sunset Squad
robots to take me away.

224
00:13:18,919 --> 00:13:21,338
Goodbye, cruel world.

225
00:13:23,590 --> 00:13:25,550
Goodbye, cruel lamp.

226
00:13:27,427 --> 00:13:29,763
Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes

227
00:13:29,846 --> 00:13:33,475
lined with what would appear to be
some sort of cruel muslin

228
00:13:33,558 --> 00:13:34,893
and the cute little...

229
00:13:35,018 --> 00:13:37,104
...pom-pom curtain pull-cords.

230
00:13:37,187 --> 00:13:39,189
Cruel though they may be, I...

231
00:13:43,068 --> 00:13:45,070
...and now
that I havenothing to live for,

232
00:13:45,153 --> 00:13:49,366
I've alerted the Sunset Squad
robots to take me away.

233
00:13:50,701 --> 00:13:51,702
Oh, no!

234
00:13:51,785 --> 00:13:53,412
I know you're all very upset,

235
00:13:53,495 --> 00:13:54,579
especially Bender.

236
00:13:54,663 --> 00:13:56,790
Well, life goes on.

237
00:13:56,873 --> 00:13:58,667
Except for you.

238
00:13:59,626 --> 00:14:02,379
I'm sure Bender
has just made a cutting remark,

239
00:14:02,462 --> 00:14:06,591
but he doesn't know I taped over
his soap operas to record this message.

240
00:14:06,675 --> 00:14:08,135
You bastard!

241
00:14:08,218 --> 00:14:09,970
We've got to get him back.

242
00:14:10,053 --> 00:14:11,096
Impossible.

243
00:14:11,179 --> 00:14:13,223
No one knows where
they take those old geezers.

244
00:14:13,307 --> 00:14:14,558
Nothing is impossible.

245
00:14:14,641 --> 00:14:17,894
You'd know that if you really
took after the professor, like I do.

246
00:14:17,978 --> 00:14:19,521
You're his uncle, dummy.

247
00:14:19,604 --> 00:14:20,814
He takes after you.

248
00:14:20,897 --> 00:14:22,024
Yeah, what?

249
00:14:22,107 --> 00:14:25,986
Wait a second.
That means I also take after you. Ahhh!

250
00:14:26,069 --> 00:14:28,488
Quiet. I think I know
how to find the professor.

251
00:14:28,572 --> 00:14:30,073
Lay it on us, big boots.

252
00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:34,328
If the smell-a-scope
can pick up the professor's odor,

253
00:14:34,411 --> 00:14:36,079
we may have a chance to save him.

254
00:14:36,246 --> 00:14:38,206
I think not.

255
00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:40,459
As you probably already don't know,

256
00:14:40,542 --> 00:14:44,671
odors are made up of particles that
can't travel through the vacuum of space.

257
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:45,922
Ahhh!

258
00:14:46,006 --> 00:14:47,507
I'm zeroing in on him.

259
00:14:48,091 --> 00:14:49,092
Bengay,

260
00:14:49,176 --> 00:14:50,427
mothballs,

261
00:14:51,470 --> 00:14:52,721
letters to the editor!

262
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:54,222
It's the professor!

263
00:14:54,306 --> 00:14:56,391
To the flying machine!

264
00:15:00,312 --> 00:15:01,313
To the left!

265
00:15:01,396 --> 00:15:02,397
No, to the up!

266
00:15:02,856 --> 00:15:04,149
U-turn! U-turn!

267
00:15:04,232 --> 00:15:06,068
We'll never find this place.

268
00:15:06,151 --> 00:15:08,695
Robots are very good at keeping secrets.

269
00:15:08,779 --> 00:15:10,572
No, we're not, you little bed wetter!

270
00:15:10,656 --> 00:15:11,657
Oops, I'm sorry.

271
00:15:11,740 --> 00:15:13,867
There it is! The near death star.

272
00:15:28,131 --> 00:15:31,510
Okay, we'll tell them the professor
escaped, and we're bringing him back.

273
00:15:31,593 --> 00:15:34,721
Fry, you'll have to dress up
like a 160-year-old man.

274
00:15:34,805 --> 00:15:35,806
I'm on it.

275
00:15:37,808 --> 00:15:38,850
My God!

276
00:15:38,934 --> 00:15:40,769
The illusion is so perfect.

277
00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:43,105
I almost forgot I was
looking at an idiot.

278
00:15:43,188 --> 00:15:45,232
Now, they may ask for a DNA sample.

279
00:15:45,315 --> 00:15:47,526
I'd like to see them find it.

280
00:15:47,609 --> 00:15:49,403
This plan is impossible.

281
00:15:49,486 --> 00:15:52,114
We don't even have a sample
of the professor's DNA.

282
00:15:52,197 --> 00:15:54,199
I think I know
where to get some.

283
00:16:02,916 --> 00:16:05,210
Why do I have to be the hump?

284
00:16:05,294 --> 00:16:06,962
'Cause you're too ugly to be a wart.

285
00:16:33,780 --> 00:16:35,657
Your Medicare dollars at work.

286
00:16:36,742 --> 00:16:39,369
Halt! Identify this guest.

287
00:16:39,453 --> 00:16:42,789
Uh, this is Professor Hubert Farnsworth.
He escaped.

288
00:16:42,873 --> 00:16:45,125
Escaped? No one escapes.

289
00:16:45,208 --> 00:16:47,961
This guest does not look 160.

290
00:16:48,045 --> 00:16:49,838
What, I'm old! Listen...

291
00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:52,507
Hey, you kids, get off the lawn!

292
00:16:52,633 --> 00:16:55,427
Hmm, it is true old people
are often concerned

293
00:16:55,510 --> 00:16:56,887
that there are children on their lawns.

294
00:16:56,970 --> 00:16:58,221
There's no denying that,

295
00:16:58,305 --> 00:17:01,683
but we'll still need to verify
his identity with a DNA sample.

296
00:17:01,767 --> 00:17:04,019
Got a hot, steaming batch right here.

297
00:17:05,312 --> 00:17:06,730
We only needed one cell.

298
00:17:06,813 --> 00:17:09,941
- Eh, keep the change, buddy.
- Stupid robot.

299
00:17:10,025 --> 00:17:11,401
Did your hump just say something?

300
00:17:12,069 --> 00:17:14,029
I've got talking hump syndrome.

301
00:17:14,112 --> 00:17:15,697
Ah, THS.

302
00:17:18,867 --> 00:17:20,077
Identity confirmed.

303
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,913
Return this shambling shuffleboarder
to his room.

304
00:17:23,622 --> 00:17:25,457
7152, Maple Drive.

305
00:17:25,540 --> 00:17:27,918
- Sounds nice.
- Prepare to be surprised.

306
00:17:40,973 --> 00:17:44,309
So this is where they stick old people.
It's horrific.

307
00:17:44,393 --> 00:17:46,103
At least it keeps them from driving.

308
00:18:00,283 --> 00:18:02,160
Brace yourself for the worst.

309
00:18:05,580 --> 00:18:07,332
And yet he looks so natural.

310
00:18:07,416 --> 00:18:08,458
What's happening?

311
00:18:08,542 --> 00:18:10,419
He's hooked up to a life-support system.

312
00:18:10,502 --> 00:18:15,090
We have to disconnect him very, very
carefully, or the shock could kill him.

313
00:18:15,465 --> 00:18:16,466
Freeze!

314
00:18:28,687 --> 00:18:29,688
Seize them!

315
00:18:29,771 --> 00:18:30,772
- Seize them!
- Seize them!

316
00:18:30,856 --> 00:18:32,774
Get them! I mean, seize them!

317
00:18:39,323 --> 00:18:40,657
Oh, I'm so bad at this.

318
00:18:51,293 --> 00:18:52,294
Uh-oh.

319
00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:08,894
We're probably gonna make it,
but we might not!

320
00:19:08,977 --> 00:19:10,896
It's impossible! We'll never fit!

321
00:19:10,979 --> 00:19:12,773
Will too.

322
00:19:14,024 --> 00:19:15,025
Told you.

323
00:19:22,532 --> 00:19:25,327
Come on, Leela.
Step your big boot down on the gas pedal.

324
00:19:41,009 --> 00:19:42,594
They've blown out one of our engines.

325
00:19:42,678 --> 00:19:45,347
Fix it, fix it,
fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it!

326
00:19:45,430 --> 00:19:46,640
Fix it, fix it, fix it!

327
00:19:46,723 --> 00:19:48,809
Only the professor knows how to fix it.

328
00:19:48,892 --> 00:19:50,102
We have to wake him up.

329
00:19:54,815 --> 00:19:55,816
Try shocking him.

330
00:19:55,899 --> 00:19:58,026
Your social security check is late!

331
00:19:58,110 --> 00:20:00,237
Stuff costs more than it used to!

332
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,781
Young people use curse words!

333
00:20:02,864 --> 00:20:05,158
Damn it.
We'll have to fix the engine ourselves.

334
00:20:05,242 --> 00:20:06,785
We can't, you bastard.

335
00:20:06,868 --> 00:20:08,537
No one knows how it works.

336
00:20:08,620 --> 00:20:09,788
It's impossible!

337
00:20:09,871 --> 00:20:11,873
Nothing is impossible.

338
00:20:11,957 --> 00:20:14,042
I understand how the engines work now.

339
00:20:14,126 --> 00:20:15,335
It came to me in a dream.

340
00:20:15,419 --> 00:20:18,005
The engines don't move the ship at all.

341
00:20:18,088 --> 00:20:19,756
The ship stays where it is,

342
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,259
and the engines
move the universe around it.

343
00:20:22,342 --> 00:20:23,719
That's a complete load.

344
00:20:23,802 --> 00:20:27,097
Nothing's a complete load.
Not if you can imagine it.

345
00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:30,183
That's what being a scientist
is all about, right, Professor?

346
00:20:32,477 --> 00:20:33,478
Let's ride.

347
00:20:48,785 --> 00:20:50,495
Good news, everyone.

348
00:20:50,579 --> 00:20:52,289
He's made a complete recovery.

349
00:20:52,372 --> 00:20:53,707
All right! Way to go!

350
00:20:53,832 --> 00:20:57,169
I'm as spry as a 140-year-old.

351
00:20:57,294 --> 00:20:59,546
See? I only broke one ankle.

352
00:20:59,630 --> 00:21:01,965
So what were they doing to you
in that awful drawer?

353
00:21:02,132 --> 00:21:05,927
Oh, they had me hooked up
to a bizarre virtual world

354
00:21:06,011 --> 00:21:07,554
that seemed absolutely real.

355
00:21:07,638 --> 00:21:08,639
What was it like?

356
00:21:08,722 --> 00:21:11,433
It was as though I were living
in a facility in Florida

357
00:21:11,516 --> 00:21:13,435
with hundreds of other old people.

358
00:21:13,518 --> 00:21:18,190
All day long, we'd play bingo, eat oatmeal
and wait for our children to call.

359
00:21:18,357 --> 00:21:20,525
It's a hundred times more horrible

360
00:21:20,609 --> 00:21:22,194
than anything I could imagine.

361
00:21:22,277 --> 00:21:23,528
Oh, my, yes.

362
00:21:23,612 --> 00:21:27,783
Thank you all for saving me,
especially you, my little clone.

363
00:21:27,866 --> 00:21:30,327
No matter what
you decide to do with your life,

364
00:21:30,410 --> 00:21:32,371
I'm still proud of you.

365
00:21:33,038 --> 00:21:34,581
I've already decided.

366
00:21:35,332 --> 00:21:39,461
Dad, when I grow up,
I want to be just like you.

367
00:21:39,544 --> 00:21:41,254
Don't worry, son.

368
00:21:41,338 --> 00:21:42,339
You will.

369
00:21:43,006 --> 00:21:48,345
Incidentally, you might want to read up
on a condition known as wandering bladder.

370
00:21:48,428 --> 00:21:49,429
Why?

371
00:21:49,513 --> 00:21:51,098
No reason.

372
00:21:51,181 --> 00:21:52,766
No reason at all.