(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(PURRING)
HERMES: Exciting news, people!
The pet license I requisitioned for Nibbler has arrived.
Hermes, that's sweet.
I didn't know you cared about Nibbler.
Dream on, woman.
I'd like to put the little bastard in a sack
and toss the sack in a river and hurl the river into space.
But I do like filling out requisitions,
and these were some doozies.
Great Jah's dreadlocks! There's been a mix-up.
This isn't a pet license, it's a fishing license!
And it's mandatory!
FARNSWORTH: Ah. The exact center of the Atlantic Ocean.
This seems the logical place for fish to congregate.
So, we're in international waters?
Indeed so.
Falcon, this is Blue Raven. The goose has nested.
Repeat, the goose has nested.
Hey, guess what you're accessories to?
The sun, the sea air, good friends...
Leela's right. Fishing blows.
What about making it interesting?
- Why not? - Yeah, cool.
Everybody kick in five bucks.
- There, wasn't that interesting? - Bender!
(CHUCKLES)
This contest is as good as over.
I once caught a fish this big.
Oh, yeah?
I once caught a fish this big.
I'm afraid you're both out of your league, boys
'cause you're looking at a woman who owns her own harpoon.
Harpoon, my ass. (CHUCKLES)
- Okay. - (BENDER SCREAMS)
(WATER SPLASHING)
Let's see now. Which bait to use?
Crickets, squid, chicken necks?
Excuse me. If I might be so bold,
I'm willing to offer my services as a bait critic.
These sardines, for example, are bland and tasteless.
(CHOMPING)
And these dry, stringy night crawlers,
though juicy... (GULPS) Very, very juicy...
(SLURPING)
I don't believe this! It's eating my bait!
Beat it, you mooching crawdad!
(EXCLAIMING)
(BEEPING)
Hey, Fry, check out my laser-guided fishing rod.
Quiet, Bender, you're scaring away the fish.
Fine. I'll head over to the other side.
Good luck fishing on this side!
(CHUCKLES)
I can hit a fish between the eyes from 20 yards.
BENDER: Oh, yeah? I can hit a shrimp.
A shrimp?
I find it a bit hard to believe that... (GROANS)
Ah-ha!
Gather 'round, chumps.
I got the winner!
Aw.
Oh, so this is where you shop for your boots.
Couple more of those and you'll have yourself a fish stick.
(CACKLES)
Hey!
A fish this fine belongs in a fish-nugget-style chunklet.
Anyway, it's bigger than anything you've caught.
(CHUCKLES)
Ow! My small intestine!
- (GRUNTS) - (WATER SPLASHING)
Bingo!
Whatever it is, it's 20 times heavier than a boot.
Oh.
You'll never catch anything with that primitive technology.
What you need is this fish pheromone,
the most potent aphrodisiac known to fishkind.
(RATTLES)
Uh-oh.
(EXCLAIMING)
(SNIFFS)
I'm so into you.
(SLURPS)
Oh, my!
Hey, Bender!
I just caught a fish this big.
Quit exaggerating, Fry.
Ah, screw this.
If I'm not going to catch a fish,
I might as well not catch a big fish.
There. Like most of life's problems
this one can be solved with bending.
Bender, be careful!
That's the ship's diamond filament tether.
It's unbreakable.
Then why do I have to be careful?
It belonged to my grandmother.
- (GASPS) - (WATER SPLASHING)
My manwich!
(ALL SNORING)
(GRUNTS)
Wake up, everyone!
I've got something, and this time it's alive.
Oh!
Dr. Zoidberg, since when do you even wear boots?
I wasn't wearing it.
I was eating it.
(SIGHS)
Come on, let's go home.
(SCREAMING)
Sunburn!
My fabulous body! It's ruined!
What happened to my parasol?
I don't know. It wasn't here when I took your umbrella.
- (GROWLS) - What? I put sunblock on you.
Well, it didn't work.
(BENDER LAUGHS)
LEELA: Come on, Bender.
Pull in your line, and let's go.
(GRUNTING)
Hey, I'm snagged.
It's not snagged.
The mechano-man has caught something.
(STRAINING)
Sweet zombie Jesus! It's huge!
It's coming up!
(GROWLS)
(GASPS)
- Whoa, that's big! - A colossal mouth bass!
It's diving!
(METAL CREAKING)
It's pulling us under! Everyone, into the ship!
Wait, I'll save us.
By cutting the unbreakable diamond filament.
(GRUNTING)
Well, at least I'll die with my friends.
Hello?
(ALL SCREAMING)
HERMES: My speedos!
- (ALARM BLARING) - Depth at 45 hundred feet...
48 hundred, 50 hundred...
5,000 feet.
Dear lord!
That's over 150 atmospheres of pressure!
How many atmospheres can the ship withstand?
Well, it's a spaceship.
So I'd say anywhere between zero and one.
(METAL CREAKING)
What's that? Is someone bending girders?
(BENDER EXCLAIMS)
We'll be crushed if we don't equalize the pressure.
How do we do that?
That should do it.
(WHIMPERS) We're all going to die!
Wait, I'll be back in a minute.
(TOILET FLUSHING)
(ALL CHEERING)
- You did it, Fry! - Did what?
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
People, it's far, far worse than we thought.
My fish got away.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
There! good as new.
Except that we're three miles below the surface
We don't have any food, and the ship won't work underwater.
Tempers are wearing thin.
Let's just hope some robot doesn't kill everybody.
The important thing is that we don't panic.
There are rules for these situations.
Now, the first order of business is lunch.
I suggest a nice lobster Zoidberg.
I mean, uh, lobster newburg.
I mean, Dr. Zoidberg.
Okay, everyone. Calm down.
The professor and I will get to work on the ship.
Bender, Zoidberg, since you can survive underwater,
you'll go out and look for food.
I better go, too.
They don't know what I like.
Fry, the pressure will crush you
like a green snake under a sugarcane truck!
Not necessarily.
This is a chance for Fry to test out
my experimental anti-pressure pill.
I can't swallow that.
Well, then, good news!
It's a suppository.
How are you doing there, Fry?
(BABBLING)
Glad to hear it.
Ah!
(GRUNTS)
- (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) - Oh, yeah!
Yum, yum, yum.
Uh-oh. (EXCLAIMING)
Look at me.
I'm Dr. Zoidberg, homeowner.
Careful, Fry.
I think that flag might be poisonous.
Ahoy, mateys!
I shanghaied us some hearty grub.
(BOTTLES CLINKING)
(GRUNTS)
The laws of science be a harsh mistress.
Say, robot, old buddy, could you help me move a couch?
Uh... Okay, but I'm not carrying it upstairs.
(GASPS)
(GIGGLES)
(BABBLING)
What is it, Fry?
(BABBLING)
You want some lemonade? You saw a big parade?
Your students loans have been repaid?
Then how about lending your old pal Zoidberg
a few bucks, Mr. Millionaire?
(BABBLING)
Fry, swallow your food, then talk.
(GULPS AND GASPS)
A mermaid!
(SCOFFS) You think you saw a mermaid?
No. I did see a mermaid. She was wearing a tube top.
And she had a beautiful, scaly tail
and I think she had hair extensions.
- BENDER: Yeah, right. - (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
You're simply hallucinating, you moron.
What's so far-fetched about mermaids?
There's all sorts of weird sea creatures
here in the future, like Dr. Zoidberg.
I'm afraid Fry is suffering from ocean madness.
Every time something good happens to me
you say it's some kind of madness or I'm drunk
or I ate too much candy.
Well, I saw a real mermaid,
and I wish my friends would have the decency and kindness to believe me.
Ocean madness.
He may have ocean madness,
but that's no excuse for ocean rudeness.
(BENDER SNORING)
"Ocean madness." Yeah, right.
Yeah, it's always something, ain't it?
(GASPS)
It's her!
Bender, wake up! She's here! wake up!
(SNORING LOUDLY)
Oh, oxygen.
(SCREAMING)
Here you go, darling.
(GASPS)
Hey, I can breathe. And talk. Just like a fish.
Oh, you speak fish?
(ULULATING)
What?
I'm sorry, my accent's atrocious.
- Hi. My name's Umbriel. - I'm Fry.
So, uh, am I going to drown?
'Course not. Just stay calm,
and let the gentle currents relax your every muscle.
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
Oh, yeah!
Did it just get warmer?
I can't believe you're really real.
I like your tail.
Oh, you're sweet.
I like those wiggly doodads coming out of your hips.
Thanks. They're called pants.
This here's a volcanic vent.
The water comes out at over 4,000 degrees.
No kidding?
(SIGHS)
Did it just get colder?
Tell me more about that bizarre landy world you come from.
Is there water there, too?
Sure. Sometimes it falls from the sky.
- Hmm. - And sometimes it doesn't.
(GASPS) Oh, Mr. Fry, you do go on.
You know what I like best about you, Umbriel?
You find me fascinating
Even when I'm not claiming to be a jewel thief or a lion tamer.
Lions? There are sea lions on the land?
Yup. We call them "land sea lions."
I tame them.
Way down below the ocean
Where I wanna be she may be
Way down below the ocean
Where I wanna be she may be
I'm almost done reconfiguring the ship's propulsion system.
We can leave as soon as the papier-mâche is dry.
- Where's Fry? - I didn't kill him. Professor?
No, I've been busy.
He must have gone out looking for that "mermaid."
The poor, demented honky.
It's ocean madness, all right.
Sailors call it "aqua dementia," "the deep down crazies,"
"the wet willies," "the screaming moist..."
We'll form a search party.
Now, we'll need oxygen.
I got it covered.
In the event of an emergency
my ass can be used as a flotation device.
Oh, that reminds me.
You've all taken your pressure pills, right?
Yes. Stop asking.
(SNIFFING)
I've got his scent.
Over here where the water gets warmer.
(SMACKS LIPS)
This way.
(ALL GASPING)
Bend me!
(SHOUTS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(IN ENGLISH) Dude!
An ancient sunken city!
Could it possibly be? Are the old legends true?
- (ALL GASP) - It is!
It's the fabled Lost City of Atlanta!
Howdy, y'all!
Welcome to Atlanta.
Folks 'round these parts call me the Colonel.
(BENDER HUMMING TUNE)
Here, have some breathers,
courtesy of our Chamber of Commerce.
This is uncomfortable and humiliating.
Now, if they could put it in the form of a suppository...
Y'all enjoy your stay.
Tourism's our main source of income 'round here,
so see the sights, spend some money...
Please don't leave.
Fry!
Oh, I just knew you were still alive!
I owe you ten bucks, Hermes.
Hey, you guys, the most amazing thing happened.
It's two-for-one Tuesday at Krispy Kreme.
Plus, there's mermaids.
Nice out-of-town folks,
I'd like you to meet my daughter, Umbriel.
Umbriel, these are some Yankees.
AMY: So, Fry
Atlanta was an American city in your time?
I think it was just an airport.
They had a place selling nuts.
No! Ancient Atlanta was more than just a Delta hub.
It was a vibrant metropolis, the equal of Paris or New York.
That's right, honey. Whatever you say.
Look at these fabulous ruins.
Turner Field, the Coca-Cola Bottling Plant
The, uh... The airport.
But, tell us, how could a city with such a fabulous airport
end up underwater?
Ah, now, that's a story
that can only rightly be told in a Chamber of Commerce video
narrated by folk-rock troubadour, Donovan.
(BEEPS)
Atlanta was a city, landlocked,
hundreds of miles from the area we now call the Atlantic Ocean.
Yet, so desperate the city's desire for tourism
that they moved offshore, becoming an island
and an even bigger Delta hub,
until the city overdeveloped and it started to sink.
Knowing their fate, the quality people ran away.
Ted Turner, Hank Aaron, Jeff Foxworthy,
the guy who invented Coca-Cola, the magician,
and the other so-called gods of our legends...
Though gods they were...
And also, Jane Fonda was there.
The others chose to remain behind on their porches
with their rifles, and one day evolve into mermaids
and sing, and dance,and ring in the new.
ALL: Hail Atlanta!
- "The magician"? - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Wouldn't it take millions of years to evolve into mermaids?
Normally, yes.
But the caffeine really sped things up.
That stuff's wonderful.
So, when Umbriel first brought home this carpetbagger,
I was agin' it.
But damn if ol' legs here ain't grown on me!
Oh, shucks, Colonel.
(METAL CLINKS)
Well, it's all very nice here, but we should be going.
I miss me wife and me oxygen.
Yes, we all miss our loved ones and gases.
- Come on, Fry. - Wait.
I'm not going with you.
(ALL GASP)
But, Fry, what about us?
What about your life on the surface?
You don't belong down here.
She's right.
I mean, sure, they got the Braves, but it's a third-rate symphony.
Fry, you half-mad, half-insane maniac,
be reasonable.
Don't you realize that if you stay at this depth
your body will permanently adapt to the pressure?
Realize it? I don't even understand it.
It means you'll never be able to return to the surface.
I don't care. I'm staying.
I've got everything I want right here.
I'm bored! Let's go.
You know, Fry, I've got a little place just outside town.
You could come visit, maybe?
Sorry, Zoidberg.
I'm trying to join the Country Club.
(CRYING)
Fry!
(SOBBING)
I'll miss you!
Y'all come back, now, you hear?
Let's go, damn it! Let's go!
Well, I guess this is good-bye for me as well.
- Whatever. - Later.
Bye.
(SCREAMS)
My home!
It burned down!
(SOBBING)
How did this happen?
That's a very good question.
So, that's where I left my cigar.
That just raises further questions.
You know, Umbriel, these last 24 hours
have been the happiest days of my life.
Oh, Fry, I want you to make a mer-woman out of mer-me.
Mercy! I do believe I'm gettin' the vapors.
(BOTH MOANING)
What the hell is that?
Yeah, I'm a little confused, too.
How do I... You know, with the tail and all?
I'm not your first, am I?
I mean, I lay my eggs, then I leave
and you release your fertilizer.
(PANTING)
Why couldn't she be the other kind of mermaid
with the fish part on top, and the lady part on the bottom?
Now, who's going to escort me to the debutante ball?
Well, what about that rich, young dugong from Macon?
There. The engine modifications are complete.
Prepare for launch.
(ENGINE POWERING UP)
Wait! wait for me! Don't leave me here!
(GASPS)
(GRUNTS)
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
(SCREAMING)
And so, in honor of his record-breaking catch,
I'm proud to award Bender this check for $1,000.
(CROWD CHEERING)
(ALL GASP)
- It's you! - Hey, buddy!
My manwich!
Fry, are you all right? What happened?
What about Umbriel?
Well, it turns out I loved her, but I wasn't "in love" with her.
Trouble in bed.
Ah, it's great to have you back, buddy.
Wait...
This is no record.
Give me back that check.
I'm giving it to some giant orphans.
Ow! Bender, you're hurting me!
Ow! (CHOKING)
Hey! I'm trying to sleep in here.
DONOVAN: Hail Atlanta.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)