1 00:00:32,090 --> 00:00:34,676 So I gave the cookies you made to Fawn and the kids, 2 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:36,803 and they couldn't believe it. 3 00:00:36,928 --> 00:00:40,140 They were delicious! But I digress. 4 00:00:40,223 --> 00:00:44,478 Tremble, puny earthlings! One day, my race will destroy you all. 5 00:00:47,439 --> 00:00:49,191 Could one of you guys get that? 6 00:00:56,531 --> 00:00:58,784 It's a doorbell baby! 7 00:00:58,867 --> 00:01:02,746 Hello, little guy. You know, I was abandoned as a baby, too. 8 00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:05,123 - So... - Garbage, huh? I'll take care of it. 9 00:01:05,248 --> 00:01:07,125 Bender, stop! 10 00:01:07,209 --> 00:01:09,419 - It's a baby! - A baby what? 11 00:01:09,711 --> 00:01:10,712 Ow! 12 00:01:12,422 --> 00:01:16,134 Oh, it's just a card! From the orphanarium I grew up in. 13 00:01:17,761 --> 00:01:20,681 Leela, you're invited to a reunion 14 00:01:20,764 --> 00:01:24,309 at Cookieville Minimum-Security Orphanarium. 15 00:01:24,393 --> 00:01:27,062 Please stand clear of self-destructing basket. 16 00:01:28,939 --> 00:01:31,775 A reunion at your old orphanarium, eh? 17 00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:34,611 - You gonna go? - No way, Josébot. 18 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,863 I never want to see those other orphans again. 19 00:01:36,947 --> 00:01:39,700 Not after the way they used to pick on me. 20 00:01:39,783 --> 00:01:42,494 One Eye, One Eye, One Eye! 21 00:01:42,577 --> 00:01:44,955 Nice depth perception, One Eye! 22 00:01:46,957 --> 00:01:49,835 How can you make fun of me, Kirk? You're blind! 23 00:01:49,918 --> 00:01:53,213 My eyes may not work, but at least I got two of them. 24 00:01:59,970 --> 00:02:01,888 Aw, that's terrible, Leela. 25 00:02:01,972 --> 00:02:04,933 But imagine the look on their faces when you show up with two friends 26 00:02:05,017 --> 00:02:06,602 who eat all the hors d'oeuvres. 27 00:02:06,685 --> 00:02:10,439 Well, I wouldn't mind rubbing my success in a few choice faces. 28 00:02:10,522 --> 00:02:12,441 Set a course for adventure! 29 00:02:19,197 --> 00:02:20,699 - Ew! - What a dump! 30 00:02:20,824 --> 00:02:23,493 Just like old times. 31 00:02:24,369 --> 00:02:28,915 Gosh, the bars on the windows seemed so much thicker back then. 32 00:02:31,209 --> 00:02:33,086 Mr. Vogel? Remember me? 33 00:02:33,170 --> 00:02:34,379 Leela! 34 00:02:34,463 --> 00:02:36,840 You're worthless, and no one will ever love you! 35 00:02:38,050 --> 00:02:40,594 You used to say that all the time. 36 00:02:40,719 --> 00:02:42,763 Oh, those were happier days. 37 00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:50,437 Mmm! 38 00:02:50,562 --> 00:02:52,940 The "gristle in a blanket" isn't half bad. 39 00:02:53,899 --> 00:02:57,402 And try one of these Popsicle sticks. They've absorbed quite a bit of flavor. 40 00:02:57,486 --> 00:03:00,656 Hey, look. It's our old group picture. 41 00:03:01,698 --> 00:03:04,117 I don't see you anywhere. 42 00:03:04,201 --> 00:03:06,286 That's me, over in Cootie-town. 43 00:03:07,079 --> 00:03:09,164 Get a load of this average-looking guy. 44 00:03:09,247 --> 00:03:10,499 That's Adlai Atkins. 45 00:03:10,582 --> 00:03:12,584 I used to have kind of a crush on him. 46 00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:15,796 One Eye, One Eye! 47 00:03:15,879 --> 00:03:21,677 - Stupid as a French guy! - One Eye, One Eye, One Eye... 48 00:03:29,268 --> 00:03:32,187 Well, it's time to say hello to the old gang. 49 00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:43,907 So? What you been up to since you left the orphanarium? 50 00:03:44,032 --> 00:03:47,369 Oh, livin' in a box, fightin' the shakes. You? 51 00:03:47,452 --> 00:03:50,122 Sellin' kidneys, teeth. Whatever falls out of me. 52 00:03:50,205 --> 00:03:54,543 And what am I up to, you ask? Why, I'm a very successful space captain. 53 00:03:54,710 --> 00:03:56,420 - Oh... - Wow. 54 00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:57,963 How nice for you, Leela. 55 00:03:58,046 --> 00:04:01,216 That's so good for a person with one eye. 56 00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:04,469 Hey! You can't feel sorry for me. 57 00:04:04,553 --> 00:04:07,556 I'm a space captain, and you're a bunch of losers. 58 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:10,851 Right. Right. We're the losers. 59 00:04:12,227 --> 00:04:14,605 Well, if it isn't old One Eye? 60 00:04:16,648 --> 00:04:20,110 Oh, yeah? Well, shut up, Cane Boy! 61 00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:21,903 He can't hear you. He's deaf now. 62 00:04:21,987 --> 00:04:23,322 Leave Leela alone. 63 00:04:23,405 --> 00:04:25,616 She's leading a perfectly normal life. 64 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:29,286 She's not gussied up, duded out, getting down, or where it's at. 65 00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:30,912 Now, run along. 66 00:04:33,332 --> 00:04:34,583 Thanks, Adlai. 67 00:04:34,666 --> 00:04:37,586 I guess you never really outgrow being an eyeball... 68 00:04:37,669 --> 00:04:38,754 Oddball. 69 00:04:38,837 --> 00:04:42,966 Nonsense, you're a space captain. That's a fine, conventional profession. 70 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:46,678 Well, you know. It's just for a package delivery service. 71 00:04:46,762 --> 00:04:50,265 Ah, ah! A package is just a box until it's delivered. 72 00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,643 Huh. I'd never thought of it that way. 73 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,394 So what do you do these days? 74 00:04:54,478 --> 00:04:55,687 Oh, I'm a doctor. 75 00:04:55,771 --> 00:04:57,940 A tall doctor, you say. 76 00:05:04,988 --> 00:05:06,823 Sir? You seem pretty stable. 77 00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,700 Have you thought about adopting a kid? 78 00:05:08,784 --> 00:05:09,785 Sure haven't. 79 00:05:09,868 --> 00:05:11,328 Well, keep adoption in mind. 80 00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:13,455 It's a great way to have a kid without having sex. 81 00:05:13,538 --> 00:05:14,957 Really? 82 00:05:15,832 --> 00:05:19,252 Plus, the government will help out with a small stipend of $100 a week. 83 00:05:19,336 --> 00:05:21,046 $100 a week? 84 00:05:24,883 --> 00:05:27,135 I'm so sorry I teased you back then. 85 00:05:27,219 --> 00:05:28,428 Let me make it up to you. 86 00:05:28,512 --> 00:05:30,889 I can fix it so no one ever makes fun of you again. 87 00:05:30,973 --> 00:05:32,557 You mean, by beating them up? 88 00:05:32,641 --> 00:05:35,143 Because I've broken that blind kid's nose, like, 10 times, 89 00:05:35,227 --> 00:05:36,603 and it doesn't make a difference. 90 00:05:36,687 --> 00:05:39,690 No, I specialize in phaser eye surgery. 91 00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:43,568 I can build you a paraffin eye and graft it on with skin from your foot. 92 00:05:43,652 --> 00:05:48,240 It won't be able to see, but you'll look like a perfectly normal, two-eyed person. 93 00:05:48,991 --> 00:05:51,868 Me? Perfectly normal? 94 00:05:54,329 --> 00:05:55,706 Mmm... 95 00:06:00,210 --> 00:06:02,462 Sons, daughters, meet Uncle Fry. 96 00:06:02,546 --> 00:06:05,632 Hey, why are those kids following you? Do you have candy stuck to your ass? 97 00:06:05,716 --> 00:06:08,510 No, it's called "parenting." 98 00:06:08,593 --> 00:06:09,928 Come on, dumplings. 99 00:06:10,012 --> 00:06:12,597 We've got 12 government stipends to collect. 100 00:06:12,681 --> 00:06:15,475 - Yeah! - Our daddy's a giant toy! 101 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:19,688 Phaser eye surgery is a capital idea. 102 00:06:19,771 --> 00:06:24,234 I'm sure Leela's tired of morons gaping at her eye all the time. 103 00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:26,903 Oh... 104 00:06:27,362 --> 00:06:29,906 I think cosmetic surgery's great, Leela. 105 00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:33,452 I used to be too cute, so I had cuteness reduction surgery, 106 00:06:33,535 --> 00:06:35,495 here and here. 107 00:06:35,579 --> 00:06:38,332 You guys are crazy. Leela doesn't need surgery. 108 00:06:38,415 --> 00:06:40,042 You look great the way you are. 109 00:06:40,292 --> 00:06:42,878 Oh, that's so sweet, Fry. 110 00:06:42,961 --> 00:06:45,547 But for once in my life, I just want to look normal. 111 00:06:45,631 --> 00:06:48,050 But you're better than normal. You're abnormal. 112 00:06:48,133 --> 00:06:50,636 If you ask me, you shouldn't care what other people think. 113 00:06:50,719 --> 00:06:53,930 You're right! I'll start by not caring what you think. 114 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,682 I'm getting the surgery! 115 00:06:55,766 --> 00:06:57,142 - That-a-girl! - Right on! 116 00:06:57,225 --> 00:06:58,894 - Good call. - Wonderful. 117 00:06:58,977 --> 00:07:00,354 And while you're under the knife, 118 00:07:00,437 --> 00:07:03,607 you could also get an ink pouch to help you escape your enemies. 119 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:06,735 That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard, you imbecile. 120 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,746 Now, we'll find out if the operation was a success. 121 00:07:17,829 --> 00:07:19,331 Hold onto your hats. 122 00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,970 Oh, I'm sorry. This is the wrong patient. 123 00:07:54,324 --> 00:07:55,367 Whoops! 124 00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:06,837 Leela, those eyes look so great on you. 125 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,131 Bah! I think she looked fine before. 126 00:08:09,214 --> 00:08:10,757 - No! - Wrong. 127 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,634 Wow! Look at me! 128 00:08:13,468 --> 00:08:15,846 Although I don't have the hang of blinking yet. 129 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:16,930 You'll get it. 130 00:08:17,014 --> 00:08:20,183 Personally, I try not to blink too much because it seems flashy. 131 00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,185 But when I do, I enjoy it. 132 00:08:23,562 --> 00:08:25,939 I did it! I blunk! 133 00:08:26,023 --> 00:08:28,859 And just in time to screw up this picture I took. 134 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,110 Hooray! 135 00:08:44,416 --> 00:08:47,919 Pretty woman Walkin' down the street 136 00:08:48,003 --> 00:08:49,129 Pretty woman 137 00:08:49,212 --> 00:08:50,213 Ow, ow, ow... 138 00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:54,384 The kind I like to meet Pretty woman 139 00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:58,138 I don't believe you You're not the truth 140 00:08:58,221 --> 00:09:02,017 No one could look as good as you 141 00:09:04,770 --> 00:09:06,480 Mercy 142 00:09:11,526 --> 00:09:12,778 Pretty woman 143 00:09:12,861 --> 00:09:15,197 I've never felt so unremarkable! 144 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:18,116 Today, I actually blended in with a crowd! 145 00:09:25,207 --> 00:09:27,834 Kids, meet the jerkbags I work with. 146 00:09:27,918 --> 00:09:29,878 Hello, jerkbags! 147 00:09:29,962 --> 00:09:33,006 Oh, they're so cute! What are their names? 148 00:09:33,090 --> 00:09:34,257 Kids have names? 149 00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:37,302 My name is Nina, and his name's Albert... 150 00:09:37,386 --> 00:09:39,680 And from now on, you're all named Bender, Jr! 151 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:43,517 Looky here. My first government stipend check. 152 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:47,020 Twelve baby humans, 1,200 wing-wangs. 153 00:09:48,313 --> 00:09:51,733 Daddy Bender, we're hungry. 154 00:09:51,817 --> 00:09:56,238 What is it with you kids? Every other day, it's food, food, food! 155 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,576 Oh, fine. I'll get you some stupid food. 156 00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:03,412 Could we have Bender Burgers again? 157 00:10:03,495 --> 00:10:05,497 No! The cat shelter's on to me. 158 00:10:09,459 --> 00:10:10,585 Hello, Leela. 159 00:10:10,669 --> 00:10:13,964 I was at a nearby tailor, getting one of my Hawaiian shirts toned down, 160 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,133 so I thought I'd drop in for your follow-up exam. 161 00:10:16,425 --> 00:10:18,593 Oh! That's so handsome of you. 162 00:10:18,677 --> 00:10:20,887 Just follow the light with your eyes. 163 00:10:23,307 --> 00:10:24,308 Perfect. 164 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:27,477 You know, a guy could fall head over heels for a gal like you. 165 00:10:27,561 --> 00:10:29,646 As for me, I'm somewhat interested myself. 166 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:30,939 What are you saying? 167 00:10:31,023 --> 00:10:32,691 I've never been good with words, 168 00:10:32,774 --> 00:10:35,402 which is why I'm in such a delicate conundrum. 169 00:10:35,485 --> 00:10:37,654 - Will you go out with me this Sunday? - Sure! 170 00:10:38,864 --> 00:10:41,325 I don't know what else to say, so I'll just say it. 171 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,285 Okeydokey, see you then. 172 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:47,998 This is so unfair. I liked you back when you were a Cyclops. 173 00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,334 That guy's only interested now that you have two eyes. 174 00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:51,793 You're just jealous. 175 00:10:51,877 --> 00:10:53,003 No, I'm not! 176 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:56,131 Oh, wait, I am! But my point remains valid. 177 00:10:56,214 --> 00:10:59,051 Fry, I just want to try dating a normal man, 178 00:10:59,134 --> 00:11:02,095 who, if you go somewhere with him, no one says he's crummy. 179 00:11:02,179 --> 00:11:04,681 I think I deserve that once in life. 180 00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:06,725 Be careful with that Adlai, Leela. 181 00:11:06,808 --> 00:11:08,852 He's a doctor. They're very poor. 182 00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:10,938 Actually, most doctors are rich. 183 00:11:11,021 --> 00:11:13,649 What? When did this happen? You're joking, right? 184 00:11:13,732 --> 00:11:15,275 That's not funny! 185 00:11:17,986 --> 00:11:20,113 Okay, they got everything you need here. 186 00:11:20,197 --> 00:11:21,782 Booze, a couple of peanuts... 187 00:11:21,865 --> 00:11:23,492 They got a crapper in the back. 188 00:11:23,575 --> 00:11:25,744 That's one of the things you kids do, right? 189 00:11:25,827 --> 00:11:27,537 - Yeah! - Then knock yourself out. 190 00:11:29,247 --> 00:11:30,415 Hey! Hey! 191 00:11:30,499 --> 00:11:33,669 Only eat and drink enough to barely keep yourselves alive. 192 00:11:33,752 --> 00:11:35,796 I'm tryin' to make a profit here. 193 00:11:39,716 --> 00:11:42,636 Daddy, Bethany's hitting me! 194 00:11:42,719 --> 00:11:43,845 Here. 195 00:11:46,848 --> 00:11:48,183 These kids yours? 196 00:11:48,266 --> 00:11:49,685 - Yeah. - Ooh. 197 00:11:49,768 --> 00:11:52,688 I'm attracted to a man with responsibility. 198 00:11:52,771 --> 00:11:55,857 That's me, baby. Let me just ditch the kids in an alley, 199 00:11:55,941 --> 00:11:58,527 and we can go have some fun. 200 00:11:58,735 --> 00:12:00,696 - Daddy Bender? - Son? 201 00:12:00,779 --> 00:12:03,907 Daddy's tryin' to score with a cheap floozy right now, 202 00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:06,785 so he needs you to cram a Tinkertoy in it. 203 00:12:06,868 --> 00:12:09,663 I love you, Daddy Bender. 204 00:12:09,746 --> 00:12:11,498 Hey! What the hell are you doin'? 205 00:12:11,581 --> 00:12:14,126 - Quit huggin' me. - I guess you're busy. 206 00:12:14,209 --> 00:12:15,544 I'll catch you later. 207 00:12:15,627 --> 00:12:18,213 You morons! I don't know what you're tryin' to pull, 208 00:12:18,297 --> 00:12:20,882 but I got half a mind to hug each and every one of you 209 00:12:20,966 --> 00:12:22,217 and see how you like it! 210 00:12:22,301 --> 00:12:23,635 - Yeah! - Argh... 211 00:12:24,553 --> 00:12:25,679 Come on. 212 00:12:26,054 --> 00:12:27,055 Argh! 213 00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:32,102 I thought I'd take you someplace ordinary. 214 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:35,397 - A place no one could object to. - That sounds wonderful. 215 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:45,907 I'd like an extra-beautiful bouquet, for my extra-gorgeous sweetheart. 216 00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:51,246 Average, please. 217 00:12:53,915 --> 00:12:57,044 Oh, Adlai, I've had a wonderful time today. 218 00:12:57,127 --> 00:13:00,339 No one's stared at me, or avoided staring at me, 219 00:13:00,422 --> 00:13:02,174 or tried to burn me. 220 00:13:02,257 --> 00:13:04,801 You make me feel so not weird. 221 00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:09,431 Leela, you're 999,999 in a million. 222 00:13:23,445 --> 00:13:25,697 Thanks for comin' out to get to know my boyfriend. 223 00:13:25,781 --> 00:13:27,115 Isn't he dreamy? 224 00:13:27,199 --> 00:13:28,575 Totally. 225 00:13:31,787 --> 00:13:36,249 Listen. I just want you all to know, your Leela's one standard lady. 226 00:13:36,333 --> 00:13:38,585 Oh, Adlai! Stop. 227 00:13:38,669 --> 00:13:41,213 What's so wonderful about Leela being normal? 228 00:13:41,296 --> 00:13:44,257 The rest of us aren't normal, and that's what makes us great. 229 00:13:44,383 --> 00:13:45,926 Like Dr. Zoidberg. 230 00:13:46,009 --> 00:13:49,137 He's a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage, and does. 231 00:13:49,221 --> 00:13:50,222 Damn right! 232 00:13:50,305 --> 00:13:53,183 And the professor's a senile, amoral crackpot. 233 00:13:54,685 --> 00:13:56,895 Hermes is a Rastafarian accountant. 234 00:13:56,979 --> 00:13:58,188 Tally me banana! 235 00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,107 Amy's a klutz from Mars. 236 00:14:00,190 --> 00:14:01,191 Oops! 237 00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:03,652 And, Fry, you've got that brain thing! 238 00:14:03,735 --> 00:14:06,822 I already did. So, Leela, do you want to be like us? 239 00:14:06,905 --> 00:14:08,532 Or do you want to be like Adlai, 240 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:12,244 with no severe mental or social problems whatsoever? 241 00:14:13,078 --> 00:14:15,497 That's the dumbest question I ever heard. 242 00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:16,873 - She's right! - No doubt! 243 00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:17,958 - Duh! - Daylight come. 244 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,294 Comin' through. Watch your head. 245 00:14:21,211 --> 00:14:22,629 Help! I'm under attack! 246 00:14:24,923 --> 00:14:26,842 Remember your manners, kids. 247 00:14:26,925 --> 00:14:29,720 Forks go in the left pocket, spoons in the right. 248 00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:34,057 Which one of you cutie muffins gets the children's spicy squab? 249 00:14:34,141 --> 00:14:35,350 Me! 250 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,729 What do we say when someone gives you something? 251 00:14:38,812 --> 00:14:41,231 - 'Bout time! - That's my boy! 252 00:14:42,107 --> 00:14:44,192 And here's your check. Bam! 253 00:14:46,111 --> 00:14:47,529 I gotta go poopy. 254 00:14:47,613 --> 00:14:50,532 You should've gone poopy before it was time to run out on the check! 255 00:14:50,616 --> 00:14:52,451 Come on! Go! Go! Through the kitchen! 256 00:14:52,534 --> 00:14:55,370 You little crooks! If I catch you, 257 00:14:55,454 --> 00:14:57,914 I'm gonna make cutie muffin gumbo! 258 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,042 You know, 259 00:15:00,125 --> 00:15:03,211 seeing that strange robot force 12 children to do his bidding 260 00:15:03,295 --> 00:15:04,838 makes me think about kids of our own. 261 00:15:04,921 --> 00:15:08,425 Us? Me? You? Kids? 262 00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:12,054 That's correct. It's time to stop living this vida bachelor loca. 263 00:15:12,137 --> 00:15:13,513 Settle down and have kids. 264 00:15:13,597 --> 00:15:15,015 Oh, Adlai. 265 00:15:15,098 --> 00:15:18,101 This is the most beautiful moment of my life. 266 00:15:28,236 --> 00:15:30,447 Daddy Bender, I want a piggyback ride! 267 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:33,659 Daddy's tired. Let's just have another dog pile on Fry. 268 00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:36,328 Oh! 269 00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:40,999 Tell us a story, Daddy Bender. 270 00:15:41,083 --> 00:15:43,835 Story, story, story! 271 00:15:43,919 --> 00:15:45,879 All right, fine. Gather around. 272 00:15:46,004 --> 00:15:47,714 Yeah! 273 00:15:48,507 --> 00:15:50,842 We wanna hear this one again. 274 00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:55,430 "Bender's Arrest Record. 275 00:15:55,514 --> 00:15:57,265 "By the Police. 276 00:15:57,349 --> 00:15:59,643 "On March 3, at 2:00 p.m., 277 00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,687 "Bender was caught shoplifting." 278 00:16:01,770 --> 00:16:03,522 Yeah. Show us the picture. 279 00:16:06,441 --> 00:16:07,526 There he is. 280 00:16:07,609 --> 00:16:10,487 Okay, kids. It's 9:00, and you know what that means. 281 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,240 Daddy's sick of lookin' at ya, so go to bed. 282 00:16:13,949 --> 00:16:15,033 Aw! 283 00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:17,828 The grown-ups have to talk. Come on, Ma. 284 00:16:22,499 --> 00:16:25,711 Now, to figure out how much money I'm rakin' in off those twerps. 285 00:16:32,175 --> 00:16:34,136 Oh! I need a calculator. 286 00:16:34,219 --> 00:16:35,470 You are a calculator. 287 00:16:35,554 --> 00:16:37,806 I mean, a good calculator. 288 00:16:37,889 --> 00:16:40,892 Minus the food, the bunny rabbit wallpaper... 289 00:16:41,184 --> 00:16:45,063 I'm gettin' 100 bucks a kid, and they're costin' me 110! 290 00:16:45,314 --> 00:16:47,566 There goes my new kitchen cabinets. 291 00:16:47,649 --> 00:16:50,152 I'm not sittin' through one more PTA meeting! 292 00:16:50,235 --> 00:16:52,112 The kids have got to go. 293 00:16:52,571 --> 00:16:55,198 Daddy, how do I flush you? 294 00:16:55,282 --> 00:16:56,908 Just go to bed! 295 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:13,258 You know, doing this jigsaw puzzle of a pacifier factory 296 00:17:13,342 --> 00:17:15,969 makes me want to have children with you all the more. 297 00:17:16,053 --> 00:17:17,971 Adlai, I was thinking. 298 00:17:18,055 --> 00:17:21,391 Since we're both orphans, maybe we should adopt a child. 299 00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:24,311 Adoption? Yes, that's acceptable. 300 00:17:24,394 --> 00:17:28,649 Heck, it's more than acceptable, it's adequately satisfactory. 301 00:17:33,278 --> 00:17:36,031 Hello? Imperial Dragon Restaurant? 302 00:17:36,114 --> 00:17:38,700 I've got a herd of you-know-what's for sale. 303 00:17:39,409 --> 00:17:40,744 Let me check. 304 00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:43,580 Oh, aren't you a cutie? 305 00:17:43,664 --> 00:17:45,666 About 35 pounds. 306 00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,126 What? 307 00:17:49,711 --> 00:17:52,506 Hi, Bender. We'd like to adopt a child. 308 00:17:52,589 --> 00:17:54,675 Well, you've come to the right place. 309 00:17:54,758 --> 00:17:58,637 Because Honest Bender's Orphanarium means discount orphans. 310 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:02,891 Now, little lady, what do I have to do to send you home with 12 orphans today? 311 00:18:02,975 --> 00:18:04,893 Uh, I'm afraid we only want one. 312 00:18:04,977 --> 00:18:07,771 Whatever you say, chief. I'll show you what I got in stock. 313 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:10,065 I remember this from when we were kids. 314 00:18:10,148 --> 00:18:12,818 The warden would trot you out in front of prospective parents, 315 00:18:12,901 --> 00:18:14,820 and they'd judge you like a piece of meat. 316 00:18:14,903 --> 00:18:17,531 - I'm Albert. - Kind of fatty. 317 00:18:17,614 --> 00:18:19,074 Then how 'bout this little number? 318 00:18:19,157 --> 00:18:21,576 Purebred human. No vampire in there. 319 00:18:21,994 --> 00:18:23,704 - Uh... Mmm... - Well... 320 00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:26,331 If you're strapped for cash, 321 00:18:26,415 --> 00:18:28,792 you might want to consider this irregular unit. 322 00:18:28,917 --> 00:18:32,212 Cursed with a third ear, but so full of that emotion 323 00:18:32,296 --> 00:18:34,798 I understand is called "love." 324 00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:38,093 One time, I did a hundred jump ropes. 325 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:41,888 Oh! I can't decide! We're gonna have to think about it. 326 00:18:41,972 --> 00:18:44,850 Okay, kids. Grown-ups gotta talk now. Time for bed. 327 00:18:44,933 --> 00:18:47,227 But it's 10:00 in the morning! 328 00:18:47,311 --> 00:18:48,979 I said, hit the hay! 329 00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:56,570 Oh, they're all so adorable. 330 00:18:56,653 --> 00:18:58,864 Yeah. You know, 331 00:18:58,947 --> 00:19:02,451 it's times like this, I can hardly bear to let them go. 332 00:19:02,534 --> 00:19:05,329 Good night, you princes of Maine! 333 00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:07,831 You kings of New New England! 334 00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:09,958 You're under arrest for child cruelty, 335 00:19:10,042 --> 00:19:12,461 child endangerment, depriving children of food, 336 00:19:12,544 --> 00:19:13,837 selling children as food 337 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,756 and misrepresenting the weight of livestock. 338 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,676 If you had kids of your own, you'd understand. 339 00:19:22,179 --> 00:19:25,390 Officer, would it be all right if we adopted one of the kids? 340 00:19:25,474 --> 00:19:28,518 Might as well. They're just gonna rot in the evidence locker. 341 00:19:29,978 --> 00:19:31,396 Nice ear! 342 00:19:32,522 --> 00:19:34,441 Hey, Three Ears! 343 00:19:36,109 --> 00:19:37,569 I've made up my mind. 344 00:19:37,653 --> 00:19:38,946 Let's adopt her. 345 00:19:39,029 --> 00:19:41,281 Her? But there's plenty of normal ones. 346 00:19:41,365 --> 00:19:44,534 Come on, Adlai. She could really use a mom and dad. 347 00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:49,331 Ear Face! Ear Face! Sally won the ugly race! 348 00:19:49,414 --> 00:19:51,792 On the other hand, the children bring up a good point. 349 00:19:51,875 --> 00:19:54,878 - She does have an ear on her face. - Well? So what? 350 00:19:54,962 --> 00:19:58,173 She may be different, but she still deserves a good home. 351 00:19:58,256 --> 00:20:00,509 Oh, all right. If you really want that one, 352 00:20:00,592 --> 00:20:03,095 I can give her an operation to make her acceptable. 353 00:20:03,178 --> 00:20:07,099 She doesn't need an operation. She's fine the way she is. 354 00:20:07,182 --> 00:20:09,559 Oh, and I suppose you were fine the way you were? 355 00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:12,020 - Damn right I was! - Yay! 356 00:20:12,104 --> 00:20:13,188 Shut up, Fry. 357 00:20:13,272 --> 00:20:16,066 Now, look, Adlai. I'm proud to be different. 358 00:20:16,149 --> 00:20:19,194 And I just wish I'd realized that when I was her age. 359 00:20:19,278 --> 00:20:21,530 I also have a tail! 360 00:20:21,613 --> 00:20:25,367 Now, take me to the hospital and put my eye back the way it was. Right now! 361 00:20:25,450 --> 00:20:26,660 Why should I do that? 362 00:20:26,743 --> 00:20:27,911 Listen, buddy. 363 00:20:27,995 --> 00:20:31,331 By the end of the day, one of us is gonna have one eye. 364 00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:36,003 In recognition of Bender's generous gift 365 00:20:36,086 --> 00:20:40,090 of 12 orphans and a government check for 1,200 wing-wangs, 366 00:20:40,173 --> 00:20:43,093 I hereby rename this building 367 00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:46,346 the Bender B. Rodriguez Orphanarium. 368 00:20:50,851 --> 00:20:53,687 It's good to have the old weird-looking Leela back. 369 00:20:53,812 --> 00:20:56,315 Oh, you're a true friend, Fry. 370 00:20:56,398 --> 00:20:58,984 I guess there's nothing wrong with being a little weird. 371 00:20:59,067 --> 00:21:02,321 Leela, there's nothing wrong with anything. 372 00:21:02,404 --> 00:21:04,072 We'll miss you, Daddy Bender. 373 00:21:04,156 --> 00:21:07,326 We know robots don't have emotions, 374 00:21:07,409 --> 00:21:09,620 but we drawed you this picture. 375 00:21:09,703 --> 00:21:13,457 So if you ever miss us, even just a teeny bit, 376 00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:14,958 you can look at it. 377 00:21:15,042 --> 00:21:18,420 Hey, I smoke a cigar, not a candy cane. Sheesh! 378 00:21:22,007 --> 00:21:23,342 Aw... 379 00:21:39,983 --> 00:21:41,735 Hey, what the... Whoa! 380 00:21:41,818 --> 00:21:43,779 Get away! Come on. 381 00:21:43,862 --> 00:21:46,073 I just got all the gum off of there. 382 00:21:46,156 --> 00:21:47,991 Hey! Hey! 383 00:21:48,075 --> 00:21:49,701 I hate you! 384 00:21:49,785 --> 00:21:51,912 I hate you all!