1 00:00:01,540 --> 00:00:05,586 Futurama is brought to you by Thompson's Teeth 2 00:00:05,669 --> 00:00:08,755 The only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth. 3 00:00:41,997 --> 00:00:43,332 Good news, everyone. 4 00:00:43,415 --> 00:00:48,378 Today marks our dear friend Dr. Zoidberg's 10th year with Planet Express. 5 00:00:48,462 --> 00:00:50,130 Huzzahs are in order! 6 00:00:50,756 --> 00:00:52,174 - Huzzah. - Huzzah. 7 00:00:52,257 --> 00:00:55,427 Hooray for me! Hooray for Zoidberg! 8 00:00:55,510 --> 00:00:57,596 I will now read the mandatory speech. 9 00:00:58,764 --> 00:01:00,015 "Dear employee, 10 00:01:00,098 --> 00:01:03,435 "has it really been five, 10 or 15 years? 11 00:01:03,518 --> 00:01:06,396 "If not, please disregard this and get back to work." 12 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,316 Distribute token of appreciation and applaud. 13 00:01:10,859 --> 00:01:13,028 Look! Coupons! 14 00:01:13,111 --> 00:01:15,948 I can get two oil changes for the price of one! 15 00:01:16,031 --> 00:01:17,991 Now if I could only afford the one. 16 00:01:18,075 --> 00:01:20,869 And the car. Ah, the years. 17 00:01:20,953 --> 00:01:22,955 So many memories. 18 00:01:23,038 --> 00:01:26,750 So many strange fluids gushing out of patients' bodies. 19 00:01:26,833 --> 00:01:29,044 Yes, yes. Now here's your pension statement. 20 00:01:30,379 --> 00:01:33,548 It's empty because you haven't paid into it, you dumb stinkbug! 21 00:01:33,632 --> 00:01:37,761 You kept track of it all these years. 22 00:01:37,844 --> 00:01:39,137 Oh, no! I'm boned! 23 00:01:39,221 --> 00:01:42,599 I haven't paid into the pension, either. What'll I do when I retire? 24 00:01:42,683 --> 00:01:43,934 I thought you were retired. 25 00:01:44,017 --> 00:01:46,311 Hey, I don't see you planning for your old age. 26 00:01:46,395 --> 00:01:50,315 I got plans. I'm gonna turn my on/off switch to off. 27 00:01:50,399 --> 00:01:54,027 Well, I'm gonna take action. It's time to check on my retirement fund. 28 00:01:56,321 --> 00:01:58,532 Damn. Still only $100. 29 00:01:58,615 --> 00:02:00,784 A penny saved is a penny earned. 30 00:02:00,867 --> 00:02:03,745 Also, could you get some athlete's foot cream for my face? 31 00:02:03,829 --> 00:02:06,873 He's right. I've got to start investing wisely. 32 00:02:08,959 --> 00:02:10,627 Well, down to my last lottery ticket. 33 00:02:11,878 --> 00:02:13,589 Cherry. 34 00:02:13,922 --> 00:02:15,591 Cherry! 35 00:02:15,757 --> 00:02:18,135 Mule. Crud! 36 00:02:18,218 --> 00:02:21,013 So, you got six bucks left to retire on. 37 00:02:21,096 --> 00:02:23,015 I recommend Tender Vittles. 38 00:02:25,601 --> 00:02:28,437 You're opening a retirement account for $6? 39 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,773 I'm sure a wealthy mule farmer like yourself 40 00:02:31,857 --> 00:02:34,276 is aware that we charge a $10 monthly fee. 41 00:02:34,359 --> 00:02:35,944 You gotta spend money to make money. 42 00:02:37,070 --> 00:02:38,238 Here you are, sir. 43 00:02:38,322 --> 00:02:40,741 Your account is now overdrawn by $4. 44 00:02:41,116 --> 00:02:44,703 Jeez. I've seen lines move faster in the sperm bank. 45 00:02:44,786 --> 00:02:47,581 That's for... Roberto, is that you? 46 00:02:47,664 --> 00:02:49,374 Bender! Hey, man! 47 00:02:53,337 --> 00:02:55,505 You old lunatic! How ya been? 48 00:02:55,589 --> 00:02:57,966 Oh, not bad. Not bad. 49 00:02:58,050 --> 00:03:01,178 Everybody on the floor! This is a stickup! 50 00:03:03,347 --> 00:03:04,681 Yeah, I'm doin' okay, too. 51 00:03:04,765 --> 00:03:07,643 I'm takin' a Chinese cooking class at the Learning Annex. 52 00:03:07,726 --> 00:03:09,645 Cool. Can you give me a hand here? 53 00:03:09,728 --> 00:03:11,229 Sure thing, pal. 54 00:03:11,813 --> 00:03:13,315 Hey, you! Red! 55 00:03:13,398 --> 00:03:15,484 Quit waterin' that plant and get the door! 56 00:03:17,611 --> 00:03:21,323 - Well, nice talkin' to ya. - Same here. You guys are all right. 57 00:03:21,406 --> 00:03:23,116 Here's somethin' for your trouble. 58 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,743 Hey, thanks, buddy! 59 00:03:29,665 --> 00:03:31,541 Freeze, punks! You're under arrest! 60 00:03:31,625 --> 00:03:34,753 Shoot 'em in the back! Quick, while they're not looking! 61 00:03:39,716 --> 00:03:40,842 Court is in session. 62 00:03:40,926 --> 00:03:43,345 The Honorable Judge Whitey presiding. 63 00:03:43,971 --> 00:03:45,889 The charge is bank robbery. 64 00:03:45,973 --> 00:03:49,226 Now, my caddy's chauffeur informs me 65 00:03:49,309 --> 00:03:53,689 that a bank is a place where people put money that isn't properly invested. 66 00:03:53,772 --> 00:03:58,986 Therefore, robbing a bank is tantamount to that most heinous of crimes, 67 00:03:59,069 --> 00:04:01,071 theft of money. 68 00:04:01,154 --> 00:04:04,491 As the surveillance camera for that bank 69 00:04:04,574 --> 00:04:06,910 what all the judge was a-jawin' about, 70 00:04:06,994 --> 00:04:10,497 could y'all tell us what you done seen the day of the crime? 71 00:04:10,581 --> 00:04:13,584 Well, let's see. My memory's a little fuzzy, 72 00:04:13,667 --> 00:04:15,919 but it went exactly like this. 73 00:04:20,799 --> 00:04:23,802 Your Honor, I move that I be disbarred 74 00:04:23,885 --> 00:04:27,055 for introducin' this evidence against my own clients. 75 00:04:28,849 --> 00:04:31,101 Mr. Fry, do you recognize 76 00:04:31,184 --> 00:04:34,563 the robot a-huggin' on you in this here hologram? 77 00:04:34,646 --> 00:04:36,898 I sure do. That's the real robber. 78 00:04:36,982 --> 00:04:39,484 And I'll never forget his name as long as I live. 79 00:04:39,568 --> 00:04:40,819 And that name is... 80 00:04:46,533 --> 00:04:50,954 Fry, just give a name! You don't want to look stupid on Court TV! 81 00:04:51,038 --> 00:04:53,415 You're right. You're right. It was... 82 00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:57,294 Yes? What? 83 00:04:57,377 --> 00:05:00,130 You say if I testify I'll be killed? 84 00:05:00,213 --> 00:05:02,090 Oh. It's for you. 85 00:05:03,550 --> 00:05:07,262 And the other hamburger will also be made of your lungs. 86 00:05:07,346 --> 00:05:09,181 So long, pal. 87 00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:12,225 I refuse to testify on the grounds 88 00:05:12,309 --> 00:05:14,478 that my organs will be chopped up into a patty. 89 00:05:15,062 --> 00:05:16,855 Ah! The 67th Amendment. 90 00:05:16,939 --> 00:05:19,983 I may be a simple country hyper-chicken, 91 00:05:20,067 --> 00:05:22,110 but I know when we're finger-licked. 92 00:05:22,194 --> 00:05:24,154 What do you say we plead insanity? 93 00:05:24,237 --> 00:05:28,075 A few months in an insane asylum? I could do that standin' on my head. 94 00:05:28,158 --> 00:05:30,994 If you start now, it might help our case. 95 00:05:31,078 --> 00:05:35,874 Counselor, what evidence do you offer to support this new plea of insanity? 96 00:05:35,958 --> 00:05:39,419 Well, for one, they done hired me to represent them. 97 00:05:39,503 --> 00:05:41,755 Insanity plea is accepted. 98 00:05:41,838 --> 00:05:42,839 Mr. Bender, 99 00:05:42,923 --> 00:05:47,177 I hereby commit you to the asylum for criminally insane robots 100 00:05:47,261 --> 00:05:50,055 until such time as you are deemed cured. 101 00:05:50,180 --> 00:05:51,223 Yahoo! 102 00:05:51,306 --> 00:05:53,433 The system fails again! 103 00:05:53,517 --> 00:05:54,851 And Mr. Fry, 104 00:05:54,935 --> 00:05:58,939 I sentence you to the home for criminally insane humans. 105 00:05:59,022 --> 00:06:01,233 Your Honor, that facility has been full 106 00:06:01,316 --> 00:06:03,735 ever since you ruled that being poor is a mental illness. 107 00:06:04,611 --> 00:06:05,779 Order! Order! 108 00:06:05,862 --> 00:06:07,698 The only poor people I want to hear about 109 00:06:07,781 --> 00:06:10,534 are the people who tend to my pores at the spa. 110 00:06:10,617 --> 00:06:13,829 Just send them both to the robot loony bin and let's go. 111 00:06:25,173 --> 00:06:29,011 Ow! My head! Ow! My feet! Ow! My head! Ow! My feet! 112 00:06:29,094 --> 00:06:31,096 - Keep your chin up. - Ow! My chin! 113 00:06:40,981 --> 00:06:44,735 I don't belong here, Bender. This is an asylum for insane robots. 114 00:06:44,818 --> 00:06:47,154 Well, you meet half the qualifications. 115 00:06:50,324 --> 00:06:51,742 Oh, good! A physical! 116 00:06:51,825 --> 00:06:54,745 Once they examine my fragile, naked, pink body, 117 00:06:54,828 --> 00:06:56,079 they'll see I'm not a... 118 00:07:04,755 --> 00:07:06,256 Whee! 119 00:07:07,674 --> 00:07:10,177 Ooh! Ah! 120 00:07:28,278 --> 00:07:30,280 What the... 121 00:07:30,364 --> 00:07:32,157 I find that offensive! 122 00:07:39,122 --> 00:07:42,167 Greetings. I am Dr. Perceptron. 123 00:07:42,251 --> 00:07:44,836 Let me give you something to help you relax. 124 00:07:47,422 --> 00:07:49,466 Look, there's been a terrible mistake. 125 00:07:49,549 --> 00:07:52,302 I'm a human being. See? I'm all squishy and flabby. 126 00:07:52,386 --> 00:07:53,679 Also, I complain a lot. 127 00:07:53,762 --> 00:07:56,974 Yes, you do. You need to relax more. 128 00:07:57,057 --> 00:07:58,475 Terrific. 129 00:07:58,558 --> 00:08:00,227 Now consider the following. 130 00:08:00,310 --> 00:08:02,562 You were admitted to this robot asylum. 131 00:08:02,646 --> 00:08:04,773 Therefore, you must be a robot. 132 00:08:04,856 --> 00:08:06,441 Diagnosis complete. 133 00:08:07,317 --> 00:08:10,445 I do other human stuff! I age. See? 134 00:08:13,115 --> 00:08:14,491 I'm Nurse Ratchet. 135 00:08:14,574 --> 00:08:16,660 Please come with me, won't you? 136 00:08:23,917 --> 00:08:26,753 We'll meet your roommate next, shall we? 137 00:08:26,837 --> 00:08:28,755 His name is Malfunctioning Eddie. 138 00:08:28,839 --> 00:08:30,382 The car dealer? 139 00:08:30,465 --> 00:08:32,634 Wow. I guess his prices really were insane. 140 00:08:32,718 --> 00:08:36,638 He's very excitable. So don't say anything to surprise him. 141 00:08:39,641 --> 00:08:42,060 - Pleased to meet you. - Actually, we've met once before. 142 00:08:42,144 --> 00:08:43,228 What? 143 00:08:52,446 --> 00:08:55,532 I'm a pretty girl. I'm a pretty girl. 144 00:08:55,616 --> 00:08:57,534 I'm a pretty girl. 145 00:08:58,076 --> 00:08:59,995 Whoa! Someone had a busy day. 146 00:09:00,078 --> 00:09:01,663 My roommate exploded. 147 00:09:01,747 --> 00:09:04,708 You gotta help me, Bender. How can I prove I'm human? 148 00:09:04,791 --> 00:09:06,710 You could drop dead. That'd show 'em. 149 00:09:06,793 --> 00:09:08,211 I don't wanna! 150 00:09:08,295 --> 00:09:10,464 Hey, man. I believe you're a human. 151 00:09:10,547 --> 00:09:11,840 - You do? - Sure. 152 00:09:11,924 --> 00:09:13,592 They don't believe I'm a human, either. 153 00:09:13,675 --> 00:09:17,512 Name's Unit 2013. Come on. Let me introduce you around. 154 00:09:17,596 --> 00:09:20,474 Fry, meet Norm. How's it goin', pal? 155 00:09:20,557 --> 00:09:23,560 Still pickin' up transmissions from the CIA on your teeth? 156 00:09:23,644 --> 00:09:26,563 They just won't stop! 157 00:09:26,647 --> 00:09:32,277 The CIA Cafeteria menu for the week of May 15 is as follows. 158 00:09:32,361 --> 00:09:34,404 Monday, shepherd's pie. 159 00:09:35,530 --> 00:09:36,823 Cuckoo. 160 00:09:37,366 --> 00:09:39,743 Let me guess. He thinks he's Lincoln? 161 00:09:39,826 --> 00:09:41,870 Well, he's supposed to. The problem is, 162 00:09:41,954 --> 00:09:45,040 he's got multiple personalities, all of 'em Lincoln. 163 00:09:46,833 --> 00:09:50,170 I was born in 200 log cabins. 164 00:09:50,671 --> 00:09:52,297 And this here is Frankie. 165 00:09:52,381 --> 00:09:54,299 He's convinced he's a lunchroom worker. 166 00:09:54,383 --> 00:09:56,218 So they put him to work in the lunchroom. 167 00:09:56,301 --> 00:09:58,971 How is workin' the lunchroom, Frankie? 168 00:09:59,054 --> 00:10:01,306 - It's all right. - Poor Frankie. 169 00:10:08,438 --> 00:10:10,023 Change places! 170 00:10:12,526 --> 00:10:15,737 Bender, I can't take much more of this. I want outta here! 171 00:10:15,821 --> 00:10:18,073 Are you crazy? This place is great. 172 00:10:18,156 --> 00:10:21,702 Electroshock whenever you want it. Two Lincolns for every Napoleon. 173 00:10:21,827 --> 00:10:23,829 Ah! 174 00:10:23,912 --> 00:10:25,706 Sweet light crude. 175 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:31,670 But I'm not a robot like you! I don't like having discs crammed into me. 176 00:10:31,753 --> 00:10:34,172 Unless they're Oreos. And then only in the mouth. 177 00:10:34,256 --> 00:10:36,258 Don't you understand? I'm gonna die here. 178 00:10:36,967 --> 00:10:39,428 Ah, quit your bellyachin' and take it like a robot. 179 00:10:41,263 --> 00:10:43,098 Change places! 180 00:10:48,979 --> 00:10:52,858 The doctor says you are making great strides with your exploding problem. 181 00:10:52,941 --> 00:10:54,234 Well, the way I see it... 182 00:10:57,070 --> 00:10:59,531 You gotta get me outta here. I would have starved to death 183 00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:01,742 if not for that sick vending machine robot. 184 00:11:03,827 --> 00:11:05,329 Give me! Give me! 185 00:11:07,456 --> 00:11:10,834 Poor Fry. He's got the munchies for freedom. 186 00:11:10,918 --> 00:11:13,962 We're all trying to help you. We've petitioned the governor. 187 00:11:14,046 --> 00:11:17,799 But he doesn't want to appear soft on people who've been falsely imprisoned. 188 00:11:17,883 --> 00:11:21,345 At least I have friends on the outside. Bender's been no help at all. 189 00:11:21,428 --> 00:11:23,388 Je suis Napoleon! 190 00:11:25,265 --> 00:11:26,975 Now, seriously, I'm not. 191 00:11:27,059 --> 00:11:30,270 Bender, you should be more ashamed of yourself than usual. 192 00:11:30,354 --> 00:11:31,772 Lighten up, honey. 193 00:11:31,855 --> 00:11:34,816 I'm just tryin' to get through a difficult time using humor. 194 00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:39,279 Visiting hours are over. Time for our medication discs. 195 00:11:39,905 --> 00:11:42,366 Help me! For God's sake, help me! 196 00:11:42,449 --> 00:11:44,159 Oh, don't worry, Fry. 197 00:11:44,242 --> 00:11:48,497 I, too, once spent a nightmarish time in a robot asylum. 198 00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:51,166 But now, it's nearly over. So long. 199 00:11:56,213 --> 00:11:58,215 Thirty days hath September, April, June. 200 00:11:58,298 --> 00:12:00,384 All the rest have peanut butter. Now what? 201 00:12:02,302 --> 00:12:05,055 Oh, God! What? What? What is it now? 202 00:12:06,098 --> 00:12:07,307 You are being released. 203 00:12:07,391 --> 00:12:10,310 Finally! Sweet justice! 204 00:12:10,394 --> 00:12:12,562 Sweet, juicy justice! 205 00:12:12,646 --> 00:12:14,648 Not you. Him. 206 00:12:14,731 --> 00:12:16,900 Me? What a surprise! 207 00:12:20,028 --> 00:12:22,572 Look! I barely exploded at all. 208 00:12:22,656 --> 00:12:25,242 We can control that with medication. 209 00:12:25,325 --> 00:12:28,954 Fry? Are we ready to meet our new roommate? 210 00:12:33,625 --> 00:12:35,419 Hi, Red! 211 00:12:35,502 --> 00:12:38,130 Roberto? What are you doing here? 212 00:12:38,213 --> 00:12:40,465 I got busted robbin' that bank again. 213 00:12:40,549 --> 00:12:42,593 Why would you hold up the same bank twice? 214 00:12:42,676 --> 00:12:46,555 That first time was just to case the joint and rob it a little. 215 00:12:46,638 --> 00:12:48,807 What's the matter? You scared? 216 00:12:51,018 --> 00:12:52,603 Noticeably? I'll say. 217 00:12:52,686 --> 00:12:55,397 Now, stand back. I gotta practice my stabbin'. 218 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:58,108 No! Please! Help! 219 00:12:58,233 --> 00:13:00,068 Stop it! Police! 220 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,656 Hey, keep it down in there! I'm tunin' my banjo! 221 00:13:06,199 --> 00:13:08,410 Geez, Red. Quit cowerin'. 222 00:13:08,493 --> 00:13:10,871 You call yourself a robot? 223 00:13:13,457 --> 00:13:16,585 I'm not a robot! I'm not a robot! 224 00:13:21,548 --> 00:13:23,717 In answer to your question, Hermes, 225 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,719 yes, your friend is cured. 226 00:13:28,388 --> 00:13:31,975 You'll notice he no longer suffers delusions of humanity. 227 00:13:32,059 --> 00:13:34,978 Affirmative. I feel nothing. I am a robot. 228 00:13:35,228 --> 00:13:37,898 Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep... 229 00:13:37,981 --> 00:13:42,277 You've made a terrible mistake. He's a human being, not a machine! 230 00:13:42,361 --> 00:13:43,737 Oh, Fry! 231 00:13:43,820 --> 00:13:46,406 Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep... 232 00:13:46,490 --> 00:13:50,452 Gonna sing a little tale About a battle called Waterloo 233 00:13:50,535 --> 00:13:52,496 Bonjour, y'all! 234 00:13:57,084 --> 00:13:58,210 Listen to me, Fry. 235 00:13:58,293 --> 00:14:01,505 Just because you think you're a robot doesn't make you a robot. 236 00:14:01,588 --> 00:14:05,509 After all, I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. 237 00:14:05,634 --> 00:14:07,010 These fancy clothes do. 238 00:14:07,094 --> 00:14:08,929 Negative. I must be a robot. 239 00:14:09,012 --> 00:14:12,182 Why else would human women refuse to date me? 240 00:14:12,266 --> 00:14:13,600 Oh. Lots of reasons. 241 00:14:13,684 --> 00:14:15,811 Bio-units, terminate noise exchange. 242 00:14:15,894 --> 00:14:18,647 It is time for you to ingest sandwiches from my compartment. 243 00:14:25,821 --> 00:14:28,657 Here we go. Just a minute. 244 00:14:29,574 --> 00:14:32,744 And down the stretch, it's Daddy's Little Grandpa, 245 00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:37,291 followed by Perennial Loser and bringing up the rear, it's Lasty! 246 00:14:37,374 --> 00:14:40,252 - Come on, Lasty! - Hey, Bender. 247 00:14:40,419 --> 00:14:44,172 Roberto! Ooh! What a surprise to see you in here! 248 00:14:44,256 --> 00:14:46,717 Especially 'cause I didn't squeal on ya, remember? 249 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:50,012 Remember all that squealin' I didn't do? Remember? Do ya? 250 00:14:50,095 --> 00:14:52,222 Yeah. Yeah. Now lie down and play dead. 251 00:14:52,306 --> 00:14:55,434 - And don't ham it up. - Sure. Anything for you, buddy. 252 00:14:59,646 --> 00:15:02,774 Wait here, Bender. I need to get a disguise. 253 00:15:13,452 --> 00:15:14,703 Uh, what's with the getup? 254 00:15:14,786 --> 00:15:17,164 I'm in disguise 'cause I'm thinkin' of escapin'. 255 00:15:17,247 --> 00:15:20,000 You in? Or do I gotta kill ya so ya don't squeal? 256 00:15:20,083 --> 00:15:21,418 I'm in! I'm in! 257 00:15:21,793 --> 00:15:23,795 So, when were you plannin' the breakout? 258 00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:27,299 I'm thinkin' maybe a few seconds ago. 259 00:15:28,759 --> 00:15:30,844 Quick! Let's keep escaping! 260 00:15:57,537 --> 00:16:00,540 Times two, carry the one. 261 00:16:02,292 --> 00:16:04,670 You sad, worthless human. 262 00:16:06,630 --> 00:16:09,967 Sacred hog of Prague! That was my anniversary gift to Labarbara. 263 00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:12,427 Fear not, for I shall assist ye. 264 00:16:12,511 --> 00:16:14,513 Robots don't say "ye." 265 00:16:14,596 --> 00:16:15,681 Relax, mammal. 266 00:16:15,764 --> 00:16:18,892 My robotic software shall meet your calculatory needs. 267 00:16:19,518 --> 00:16:21,353 What is the meaning of this symbol? 268 00:16:21,436 --> 00:16:23,855 That's a plus sign, you pointy-head loony! 269 00:16:23,939 --> 00:16:25,816 Quit thinkin' you're a robot! 270 00:16:25,899 --> 00:16:27,985 I'll show ye. 271 00:16:36,576 --> 00:16:38,453 Stand back! I'm a toolbot. 272 00:16:46,503 --> 00:16:49,381 You're not a toolbot. You're not a food-motron. 273 00:16:49,464 --> 00:16:51,300 You're not a robot of any kind. 274 00:16:51,383 --> 00:16:52,634 Yes, I am. 275 00:16:52,718 --> 00:16:55,887 I simply haven't discovered my primary function yet. 276 00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:58,890 Okay. This has got to stop. 277 00:16:58,974 --> 00:17:03,729 I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. 278 00:17:03,812 --> 00:17:06,356 You're going to do his laundry? 279 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,651 Fry, this is for you. 280 00:17:20,454 --> 00:17:22,623 - Beep. - Oh, for God's sake! 281 00:17:26,627 --> 00:17:30,047 By a scallop's forelocks. What's with all the beer, Fry? 282 00:17:30,130 --> 00:17:32,716 Alcohol fuels my power cells. 283 00:17:32,799 --> 00:17:35,302 And as a mighty robot, I... 284 00:17:35,385 --> 00:17:37,387 Beep. 285 00:17:40,724 --> 00:17:42,601 Thanks for helpin' me escape, Bender. 286 00:17:42,684 --> 00:17:43,894 It was nothin'. 287 00:17:43,977 --> 00:17:46,813 It was not nothin'! I want to repay you. 288 00:17:46,897 --> 00:17:48,732 Let me get you somethin' in here. 289 00:17:51,193 --> 00:17:53,695 Hands up! This is a stickup again! 290 00:17:53,779 --> 00:17:56,198 Wow. Hitting the same place three times? 291 00:17:56,281 --> 00:17:58,367 I admire your style, Roberto. 292 00:17:58,450 --> 00:18:00,911 Give me the remainin' dough and all the calendars. 293 00:18:00,994 --> 00:18:02,162 And that pen! 294 00:18:02,245 --> 00:18:04,748 Try to tear it so most of the beads are on my end. 295 00:18:05,624 --> 00:18:06,833 Police! You're busted! 296 00:18:06,917 --> 00:18:09,628 And don't try anything. This glass here is laser-proof. 297 00:18:11,797 --> 00:18:12,965 Fire lasers! 298 00:18:13,507 --> 00:18:14,841 Duck, lasers! 299 00:18:16,635 --> 00:18:19,972 Come on! I got a place where I like to hide after crimes. 300 00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:29,189 Aw! He looks like a little insane drunken angel. 301 00:18:31,817 --> 00:18:35,070 Hey, everybody. Meet my good pal, Roberto. 302 00:18:35,153 --> 00:18:37,531 - Hey, mon. - Nice to meet you... 303 00:18:37,614 --> 00:18:40,367 - Come out with your hands up! - Hostages! 304 00:18:45,330 --> 00:18:47,583 Back off! I got hostages! 305 00:18:47,666 --> 00:18:49,376 Hooray! I'm helping. 306 00:18:49,459 --> 00:18:51,878 Do you have any better hostages? 307 00:18:51,962 --> 00:18:55,173 To show them who's crazy, I'll execute some of you. 308 00:18:55,257 --> 00:18:57,092 - How about you? - Ouch! 309 00:18:57,175 --> 00:18:59,720 That's going to bleed when my heart beats. 310 00:18:59,803 --> 00:19:01,680 Wait! Take me first! 311 00:19:01,763 --> 00:19:03,307 Yes! Take her first! 312 00:19:03,390 --> 00:19:04,558 Shut up! 313 00:19:04,641 --> 00:19:06,310 Stop tellin' me how to do this! 314 00:19:10,063 --> 00:19:11,356 The fear. 315 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:13,483 I'm thinkin' of a number between one and 10. 316 00:19:13,567 --> 00:19:16,403 Guess it, and you die first. Go! 317 00:19:16,612 --> 00:19:18,155 Um... Okay. 318 00:19:18,488 --> 00:19:21,241 Fifty-six-ish? 319 00:19:21,325 --> 00:19:23,660 Fifty-six? Fifty-six? 320 00:19:23,744 --> 00:19:26,371 Oh, man! Now that's all I can think about! 321 00:19:26,455 --> 00:19:29,541 I'm gonna kill you, you no-good 56-ing... 322 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:36,214 Don't kill me yet! 323 00:19:36,298 --> 00:19:39,635 I'm startin' to come down with Stockholm Syndrome, handsome. 324 00:19:41,637 --> 00:19:43,096 Halt, fellow robot! 325 00:19:44,348 --> 00:19:45,515 Hey, Red! 326 00:19:45,599 --> 00:19:49,186 You're just in time to join the hostage situation. 327 00:19:49,269 --> 00:19:51,188 Which side do you want to be on? 328 00:19:51,271 --> 00:19:54,691 The side that kicks your twisted metal ass. 329 00:19:54,775 --> 00:19:57,527 Fry! Stay back! He's too powerful! 330 00:19:57,611 --> 00:19:59,279 Negative, bossy meat creature. 331 00:19:59,363 --> 00:20:01,698 I know now what my primary function is. 332 00:20:01,782 --> 00:20:02,991 I am a battle-droid, 333 00:20:03,075 --> 00:20:05,619 sworn to protect the weak from crazy robots. 334 00:20:05,702 --> 00:20:07,955 I'm not crazy! Don't call me crazy! 335 00:20:08,038 --> 00:20:09,623 I'm just not user-friendly. 336 00:20:09,706 --> 00:20:11,291 Fry, don't be a hero! 337 00:20:11,375 --> 00:20:13,210 It's not covered by the health plan! 338 00:20:13,293 --> 00:20:16,630 Let's see how much of a robot you really are... 339 00:20:25,138 --> 00:20:28,350 No knife can penetrate my skin-tanium armor. 340 00:20:31,979 --> 00:20:35,148 Help! Help! He is a battle-droid! 341 00:20:35,232 --> 00:20:36,984 Somebody help me! 342 00:20:37,818 --> 00:20:39,236 Mommy! 343 00:20:39,319 --> 00:20:42,155 I'm sorry I spilled the transmission fluid, Mommy. 344 00:20:42,239 --> 00:20:45,367 No, no! Don't weld me to the wall, Mommy! 345 00:20:58,130 --> 00:21:00,507 We're willing to listen to your demands. 346 00:21:01,883 --> 00:21:05,429 Hey, baby. Wash that off before you put it back. 347 00:21:05,512 --> 00:21:07,431 - Hooray! - Bravo! 348 00:21:07,514 --> 00:21:08,724 You did it, Fry. 349 00:21:08,807 --> 00:21:10,392 Congratulations, buddy. 350 00:21:10,475 --> 00:21:12,352 You're a credit to my race. 351 00:21:12,436 --> 00:21:14,813 It was nothing. I... Ah! 352 00:21:16,857 --> 00:21:19,818 Blood? Robots don't have blood. 353 00:21:19,901 --> 00:21:22,529 - I must be a... - A squid? 354 00:21:22,613 --> 00:21:25,240 A human! Oh, my God! 355 00:21:25,324 --> 00:21:27,534 - I'm a human! - Also good. 356 00:21:30,704 --> 00:21:32,706 Thanks for saving us, Fry. 357 00:21:33,916 --> 00:21:37,127 I'm gonna continue never washing this cheek again. 358 00:21:37,210 --> 00:21:40,172 Buddy, you may be wrapped in greasy skin, 359 00:21:40,255 --> 00:21:43,425 but inside, you've got the heart of a robot. 360 00:21:43,508 --> 00:21:44,968 Aw! Thanks, Bender. 361 00:21:45,052 --> 00:21:48,680 Just like inside me, I've got the heart of a human. 362 00:21:50,682 --> 00:21:52,017 What? 363 00:21:53,518 --> 00:21:54,728 What?