1
00:00:00,911 --> 00:00:03,455
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:04,164 --> 00:00:06,375
MAN: One, two! One, two, three!

3
00:00:34,111 --> 00:00:37,573
You are one narrow-minded spaceship,
Planet Express Ship!

4
00:00:37,698 --> 00:00:42,703
MALE VOICE: Whoa, whoa! Why should my tax
money pay for art I find offensive?

5
00:00:43,829 --> 00:00:46,123
Would you censor the Venus de Venus

6
00:00:46,248 --> 00:00:48,041
just because you can see her spewers?

7
00:00:48,167 --> 00:00:50,335
It's filthy! Why not create
a National Endowment

8
00:00:50,419 --> 00:00:52,296
for Strip Clubs while we're at it?

9
00:00:52,421 --> 00:00:54,715
- Why not indeed!
- Bender! Ship!

10
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:59,011
Stop bickering, or I'm gonna come back
there and change your opinions manually.

11
00:00:59,136 --> 00:01:03,307
Fine! I'll be in my quarters
appreciating controversial artworks.

12
00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:07,436
- (YELPS)
- Oops. Sorry.

13
00:01:07,561 --> 00:01:09,396
(EVIL CHUCKLE)

14
00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:15,444
Yah! That Ship is so white-bread.

15
00:01:15,569 --> 00:01:18,822
People, it's Valentine's Day
next week,

16
00:01:18,947 --> 00:01:21,492
so your beloved company has gotten
you all new uniforms.

17
00:01:21,575 --> 00:01:22,659
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

18
00:01:22,785 --> 00:01:26,038
- "Clool"!
- Clothing! Delicious clothing!

19
00:01:26,163 --> 00:01:28,457
We'll need to look our best
if we're to get the account

20
00:01:28,582 --> 00:01:32,086
of our new potential customer,
Romanticorp.

21
00:01:32,211 --> 00:01:35,631
Romanticorp? Are they a corporation
that makes romantic stuff?

22
00:01:35,756 --> 00:01:37,633
Very good, Amy.

23
00:01:37,758 --> 00:01:41,887
Everyone suit up. We're off to the most
romantic city on earth.

24
00:01:53,273 --> 00:01:55,150
- (HATCH)
- (KISSING SOUND)

25
00:01:56,902 --> 00:01:59,154
Remember, we've
got to show these people

26
00:01:59,279 --> 00:02:01,698
we're not bitter husks
of human beings

27
00:02:01,824 --> 00:02:05,744
who long ago abandoned hope
of finding love in this lifetime.

28
00:02:05,869 --> 00:02:08,288
- Leela, you'll have to do some acting.
- Check.

29
00:02:08,414 --> 00:02:10,457
Welcome!

30
00:02:10,582 --> 00:02:12,751
Oh, I'm just so excited!

31
00:02:12,876 --> 00:02:14,169
(KISSING SOUND)

32
00:02:14,294 --> 00:02:18,132
I'm Sheldon, and this is
my chief financial officer, Gwen.

33
00:02:18,257 --> 00:02:22,010
For 30 years, we've shared the adventure
of managing Romanticorp.

34
00:02:22,136 --> 00:02:25,139
Not to mention the adventure of marriage.
(CHUCKLING)

35
00:02:25,264 --> 00:02:27,558
- (CHUCKLES)
- (KISSING SOUND)

36
00:02:27,683 --> 00:02:29,685
Oh, you have got to be kidding.

37
00:02:29,810 --> 00:02:31,728
- (ELECTRICITY BUZZES)
- Ow! I... I mean...

38
00:02:31,854 --> 00:02:34,064
Ah! That's so sweet.

39
00:02:34,189 --> 00:02:36,483
- (ELECTRICITY BUZZES)
- Aah! I mean,

40
00:02:36,608 --> 00:02:41,155
(BABY TALK) Ah! That's so sweet.

41
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:45,492
FARNSWORTH: You know, romance is an
important part of our work too.

42
00:02:45,617 --> 00:02:48,787
- Right, everyone?
- ALL: Yeah. Sure.

43
00:02:49,079 --> 00:02:51,331
Do any of you collect Lovey Bears?

44
00:02:51,457 --> 00:02:54,084
I do! Kif's given me dozens.

45
00:02:54,209 --> 00:02:56,086
Is it true what the ad says,

46
00:02:56,211 --> 00:02:59,548
that you kiss them together
out of blankie cloth and magic buttons?

47
00:02:59,673 --> 00:03:00,674
No.

48
00:03:00,758 --> 00:03:03,802
It's actually cheaper to genetically
engineer real ones.

49
00:03:03,927 --> 00:03:06,847
(BEARS GIGGLING, COOING)

50
00:03:06,972 --> 00:03:10,100
SHELDON: They frolic in the Lovey Forest
until their first birthday.

51
00:03:10,225 --> 00:03:12,936
Then we choose
the cuddly-uddliest ones

52
00:03:13,061 --> 00:03:15,981
and stuff them full
of fire-retardant love fluff.

53
00:03:17,274 --> 00:03:19,276
(COOING, BABY TALK)

54
00:03:23,363 --> 00:03:26,283
So cute!

55
00:03:26,408 --> 00:03:30,079
Knowing which pickup lines fizzle
and which ones sizzle

56
00:03:30,204 --> 00:03:33,457
keeps us on the cutting edge
of flirtation technology.

57
00:03:33,582 --> 00:03:38,587
Is heaven missing an angel?
'Cause you've got nice cans.

58
00:03:38,712 --> 00:03:42,007
My two favorite things
are commitment and changing myself.

59
00:03:45,302 --> 00:03:48,055
(SIGHING, COOING)

60
00:03:48,180 --> 00:03:50,265
Does that dummy
have a brother?

61
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,477
And now, friends and lovers,

62
00:03:53,602 --> 00:03:56,230
we come to the heart our operation.

63
00:03:56,355 --> 00:04:00,275
- Pun definitely intended. (CHUCKLING)
- (CHUCKLES)

64
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,152
(BORED SIGH) Oh!

65
00:04:03,946 --> 00:04:05,114
Impressive.

66
00:04:05,197 --> 00:04:08,867
My family has been making these
hearts since the 1900s.

67
00:04:08,992 --> 00:04:12,371
Tastes may have changed,
but our secret recipe sure hasn't.

68
00:04:12,496 --> 00:04:15,249
(RUMBLING)

69
00:04:16,708 --> 00:04:21,046
Whoa! Letters like "U" and "R"
can mean words like "you" and "are."

70
00:04:21,171 --> 00:04:25,384
- Here, Leela. You are too cute.
- Perhaps. What's your point?

71
00:04:25,509 --> 00:04:28,345
I've never been able
to put into words how I feel about you.

72
00:04:28,470 --> 00:04:30,681
But somewhere among
these trillions of hearts,

73
00:04:30,806 --> 00:04:32,683
those words
must already exist,

74
00:04:32,808 --> 00:04:34,685
and I'm gonna find them.

75
00:04:34,810 --> 00:04:38,105
- (MUFFLED GRUNTING)
- (SHOTGUN BLASTS)

76
00:04:38,230 --> 00:04:40,315
- (GIGGLING)
- (SHOTGUN BLASTS CONTINUE)

77
00:04:45,362 --> 00:04:47,406
(YELPS, GROANING)

78
00:04:47,531 --> 00:04:50,451
So, do we have the contract?

79
00:04:50,576 --> 00:04:53,662
FARNSWORTH: With that big
new Romanticorp contract,

80
00:04:53,787 --> 00:04:56,081
I've been able to make
those government-mandated upgrades

81
00:04:56,206 --> 00:04:58,083
you've all been
suing me about.

82
00:04:58,208 --> 00:05:02,296
Ooh, look. You taped up the cracks
in the dark-matter reactor.

83
00:05:02,421 --> 00:05:06,258
- And you got a cage for the lion.
- (LION SNARLS)

84
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,345
♪ If you want to call me, baby ♪

85
00:05:10,471 --> 00:05:12,473
Hey, who's been
messin' with the radio?

86
00:05:12,598 --> 00:05:15,225
This isn't alternative rock.
It's college rock.

87
00:05:15,350 --> 00:05:17,644
Oh, it must have been the new,

88
00:05:17,728 --> 00:05:20,314
improved ship's personality
software I installed.

89
00:05:20,439 --> 00:05:22,316
Yeah, it was me.
It's a cute song.

90
00:05:22,441 --> 00:05:24,860
Listen, Ship!
No one changes my stations!

91
00:05:24,985 --> 00:05:26,945
I hope you have a good mechanic.

92
00:05:27,070 --> 00:05:29,364
It even comes
with an adjustable voice.

93
00:05:29,490 --> 00:05:31,450
(MALE VOICE FADING OUT)
We each get one of the four buttons.

94
00:05:31,575 --> 00:05:33,786
(FEMALE VOICE FADING IN)
Remember, Bender? That was the deal.

95
00:05:33,911 --> 00:05:36,288
- (COQUETTISH LAUGHTER)
- What?

96
00:05:36,413 --> 00:05:38,457
Did you just say...
(IMITATING SHIP'S LAUGH)

97
00:05:38,582 --> 00:05:41,376
If you don't like the stations,
you could just play with my buttons

98
00:05:41,502 --> 00:05:43,462
till you find something
we both enjoy.

99
00:05:43,587 --> 00:05:45,964
- ("COME HITHER" GROWL)
- Oh, gosh!

100
00:05:46,090 --> 00:05:49,718
- That came out all wrong.
- Too late, baby. You said it.

101
00:05:49,843 --> 00:05:51,595
So, what'll it be...

102
00:05:51,678 --> 00:05:55,015
my place or you?

103
00:06:02,356 --> 00:06:04,483
Before we deliver these hearts,
I'm gonna find the one

104
00:06:04,608 --> 00:06:07,361
that sums up my feelings for you.

105
00:06:07,486 --> 00:06:10,322
"I love you." Mm. Too conventional.

106
00:06:10,447 --> 00:06:13,534
"You're my man." Ooh! So close.

107
00:06:13,659 --> 00:06:16,036
I'm not impressed
by a guy's message, Fry.

108
00:06:16,161 --> 00:06:18,747
I'm impressed by the guy...
or not.

109
00:06:18,872 --> 00:06:20,749
- (LOUD CRASH)
- (BOTH YELL)

110
00:06:20,874 --> 00:06:23,419
- What was that?
- Maybe we hit a space cow.

111
00:06:23,544 --> 00:06:26,422
- (LOUD RUMBLING)
- Coochie, coochie!

112
00:06:26,547 --> 00:06:28,715
(GIGGLING) Stop it.

113
00:06:28,841 --> 00:06:31,051
You're mussing up my trajectory.

114
00:06:31,176 --> 00:06:33,637
You know you love it, sugar engine.

115
00:06:33,762 --> 00:06:36,432
- No! (GIGGLING)
- (BELLS DING)

116
00:06:36,557 --> 00:06:37,850
- LEELA: Bender!
- (YELPS)

117
00:06:37,975 --> 00:06:40,477
What's going on in here?
(GASPS)

118
00:06:40,602 --> 00:06:43,605
Planet Express Ship!
Cover your shame.

119
00:06:43,730 --> 00:06:45,983
Oh! It-It's not
what it looks like.

120
00:06:46,108 --> 00:06:48,819
Bender was just helping me
zip up my turbine.

121
00:06:48,944 --> 00:06:51,405
Wow, Bender.
Are you and the ship an item?

122
00:06:51,530 --> 00:06:53,407
I mean, I know
you're both items, but...

123
00:06:53,532 --> 00:06:55,409
How can you date a ship, anyway?

124
00:06:55,534 --> 00:06:58,537
It'd be like me dating a really fat lady
and living inside her,

125
00:06:58,662 --> 00:07:03,333
and she'd be all, like...
(BUZZING, WHISTLING)

126
00:07:03,459 --> 00:07:07,045
Fry, in order for me
to get busy at maximum efficiency,

127
00:07:07,171 --> 00:07:10,841
- I need a girl with a big 400-ton bootie.
- (POUNDING ECHOES)

128
00:07:10,966 --> 00:07:14,428
Bender, dating your coworker
and primary mode of transportation

129
00:07:14,553 --> 00:07:20,476
is immoral, illogical and a violation
of interstellar shipping statute 437-B.

130
00:07:20,601 --> 00:07:22,436
That's what makes it so nasty.

131
00:07:22,561 --> 00:07:25,439
- (GIGGLES, MOANS)
- (MOANS, GIGGLES)

132
00:07:25,564 --> 00:07:29,610
Still, given the chance,
I'd give in to urges far more shocking.

133
00:07:29,735 --> 00:07:34,114
(BOTH MOANING)

134
00:07:34,239 --> 00:07:38,243
(BENDER SINGING)
♪ Daisy, Daisy ♪

135
00:07:38,368 --> 00:07:42,039
♪ Give me your answer, do ♪

136
00:07:42,164 --> 00:07:44,083
♪ I'm half-crazy ♪

137
00:07:44,166 --> 00:07:46,126
(GRUNTS)

138
00:07:46,251 --> 00:07:49,463
♪ All for the love of you ♪

139
00:07:49,588 --> 00:07:51,799
♪ It won't be a stylish marriage ♪

140
00:07:51,882 --> 00:07:53,509
(GRUNTS)

141
00:07:53,634 --> 00:07:56,929
♪ I can't afford a carriage ♪

142
00:07:57,054 --> 00:08:01,308
♪ But you'll look sweet upon the seat ♪

143
00:08:01,433 --> 00:08:05,312
♪ Of a bicycle built for two ♪

144
00:08:14,029 --> 00:08:17,491
- Well, I'm sick of her.
- The ship? But you just started dating.

145
00:08:17,616 --> 00:08:19,409
With my mighty robot powers,

146
00:08:19,535 --> 00:08:22,287
I can get sick of things
much quicker than you humans.

147
00:08:22,413 --> 00:08:24,665
Well, just remember we all still
have to work together,

148
00:08:24,748 --> 00:08:26,542
so try and let her down easy.

149
00:08:26,667 --> 00:08:28,669
In due time, Leela.
But for now,

150
00:08:28,794 --> 00:08:31,463
I'll just resume dating cheap floozies
on the side.

151
00:08:31,588 --> 00:08:33,632
You have much to teach us.

152
00:08:33,757 --> 00:08:35,843
(SCOFFS)
Doesn't it bother you even a little

153
00:08:35,968 --> 00:08:38,512
to be taking advantage
of your girlfriend's trust?

154
00:08:38,637 --> 00:08:41,181
(LAUGHING)

155
00:08:41,306 --> 00:08:44,059
Oh, wait, you're serious.
Let me laugh even harder.

156
00:08:44,184 --> 00:08:47,396
(LAUGHING HARDER)

157
00:08:47,521 --> 00:08:49,940
(SOUND OF TIRES SCREECHING,
DOOR SLAMS)

158
00:08:50,065 --> 00:08:52,359
(FEMALE ROBOTS GIGGLING)

159
00:08:52,484 --> 00:08:55,404
Well, what's it like
being a lawyer for the mayor's office...

160
00:08:55,529 --> 00:08:57,990
and also the world's
strongest millionaire?

161
00:08:58,115 --> 00:09:01,869
Well, baby, for starters,
you need to be honest all the time.

162
00:09:01,994 --> 00:09:04,621
Good evening, Bender.
And to your lady friends,

163
00:09:04,747 --> 00:09:06,290
may I say, "Bam!"

164
00:09:06,415 --> 00:09:09,084
- GIGGLING) Oh!
- You know Elzar?

165
00:09:13,547 --> 00:09:16,675
- (GIGGLING)
- Hmm.

166
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,677
(SNORING)

167
00:09:18,802 --> 00:09:21,513
- (CONTINUES SNORING)
- (DOORBELL RINGS)

168
00:09:21,638 --> 00:09:24,224
(SNORTS) Huh?

169
00:09:26,101 --> 00:09:28,020
(YAWNS)

170
00:09:28,145 --> 00:09:30,564
Planet Express Ship?
Is that you?

171
00:09:30,689 --> 00:09:33,609
SHIP: Oh. Hi, Fry.
Is Bender home?

172
00:09:33,734 --> 00:09:36,779
(STAMMERING) Uh, no. Um, I think
he's at his parents.

173
00:09:36,904 --> 00:09:38,781
Oh, I see.

174
00:09:38,906 --> 00:09:41,200
He didn't fly there
in another spaceship, did he?

175
00:09:41,325 --> 00:09:45,454
Bender? No. He's an old-fashioned,
one-spaceship robot.

176
00:09:45,579 --> 00:09:48,332
- Look, I'll tell him you stopped by, okay?
- Okay.

177
00:09:50,209 --> 00:09:52,211
(DOORBELL RINGS)

178
00:09:53,253 --> 00:09:56,590
Oh. Hi, Fry. Is he home now?

179
00:09:56,715 --> 00:09:58,634
(GOATS BLEATING)

180
00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:07,017
(ALL HOWLING)

181
00:10:07,142 --> 00:10:10,771
SHIP: Of all the zoos we've been
to today, I like this one the best.

182
00:10:10,896 --> 00:10:13,857
Bender, which is your favorite
nocturnal rat?

183
00:10:13,982 --> 00:10:16,026
Eh, they're all
pretty unimpressive.

184
00:10:16,151 --> 00:10:18,862
Oh, honey, look! The tapirs!

185
00:10:18,987 --> 00:10:20,781
(BOTH GRUNTING)

186
00:10:20,906 --> 00:10:22,825
(SIGHS)

187
00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:26,954
It says here the babies lose their
pajama-like coatafter their first year.

188
00:10:27,079 --> 00:10:28,956
Isn't that interesting, honey?

189
00:10:29,081 --> 00:10:32,793
Yep. Mind-numbingly
interesting. Ooh.

190
00:10:32,918 --> 00:10:35,212
Bender! Are you looking
at other women?

191
00:10:35,337 --> 00:10:37,214
No, baby. Never.

192
00:10:38,590 --> 00:10:41,427
(GASPS) Bender, don't lie!

193
00:10:41,552 --> 00:10:45,222
I saw you at Elzar's with those two
ladies of the evening.

194
00:10:45,347 --> 00:10:48,892
- Explain that!
- Okay. I like a challenge.

195
00:10:49,017 --> 00:10:51,186
Um, no.

196
00:10:51,311 --> 00:10:53,981
No. Ah! I got it.

197
00:10:54,106 --> 00:10:57,234
I'm going to be completely honest
with you, Planet Express Ship.

198
00:10:57,359 --> 00:10:59,987
Those women you saw me with
were my accountants.

199
00:11:00,112 --> 00:11:05,242
Your accountants? Oh, I would dearly
love to believe that were true.

200
00:11:05,367 --> 00:11:07,286
- So I do.
- Phew!

201
00:11:07,369 --> 00:11:09,371
I'm gonna go home
and get dinner started.

202
00:11:12,791 --> 00:11:14,626
Who are you talking to?

203
00:11:14,752 --> 00:11:17,838
No one, baby. Lucy Liu
is the only girl for Bender.

204
00:11:17,963 --> 00:11:19,590
I love you...

205
00:11:23,093 --> 00:11:25,137
(BEEPING)

206
00:11:25,262 --> 00:11:29,016
- (SHIP SIGHS)
- Planet Express Ship, is something wrong?

207
00:11:29,141 --> 00:11:32,728
Oh, it's Bender.
He's acting so strange lately.

208
00:11:32,853 --> 00:11:35,272
(GASPS) Do you think he's gonna
ask me to marry him?

209
00:11:35,397 --> 00:11:37,649
Uh, no.

210
00:11:37,775 --> 00:11:41,278
Oh. Somebody knows something
she's not telling.

211
00:11:41,403 --> 00:11:45,282
(SIGHS) Look, I'm not saying
Bender's not great,

212
00:11:45,407 --> 00:11:49,912
but have you ever considered
that maybe he's, you know, not that great?

213
00:11:50,037 --> 00:11:51,955
(SCOFFS) You're just jealous.

214
00:11:52,081 --> 00:11:55,042
No one loves you 'cause you're tiny
and you're made of meat.

215
00:11:55,167 --> 00:11:57,753
- (GASPS)
- (LOUD CRASH)

216
00:11:57,878 --> 00:12:00,964
Could you maybe pay a little more
attention to these asteroids?

217
00:12:01,090 --> 00:12:05,177
Sorry, Captain Leela. I guess I'm just
having one of those manic Mondays.

218
00:12:05,302 --> 00:12:07,179
(MANIC LAUGHING)

219
00:12:07,304 --> 00:12:09,181
(MIMICKING SHIP'S LAUGH)

220
00:12:21,527 --> 00:12:23,153
(PEOPLE LAUGHING ON TV)

221
00:12:23,237 --> 00:12:24,696
This is ancient Earth's
most foolish program.

222
00:12:24,822 --> 00:12:27,324
Why does Ross, the largest "Friend,"

223
00:12:27,449 --> 00:12:29,785
not simply eat the other five?

224
00:12:29,910 --> 00:12:32,162
Perhaps they are
saving that for sweeps.

225
00:12:32,287 --> 00:12:34,373
Exalted leaders,

226
00:12:34,498 --> 00:12:36,375
the Earth messengers
have arrived

227
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:39,628
bearing a peace offering from their weak
and fearful government.

228
00:12:39,753 --> 00:12:43,257
Oh, very well.
This is a "Joey heavy" episode anyway.

229
00:12:43,340 --> 00:12:44,341
(TV TURNS OFF)

230
00:12:44,466 --> 00:12:46,593
(MOTORS HUMMING)

231
00:12:48,178 --> 00:12:52,516
I am Lrrr of the planet
Omicron Persei 8.

232
00:12:54,435 --> 00:12:57,771
"Esteemed potentates
of Omicron Persei 8,

233
00:12:57,896 --> 00:13:00,816
"please accept these
20 billion candy hearts...

234
00:13:00,941 --> 00:13:04,903
as proof that Earth
loves you," this much!

235
00:13:06,155 --> 00:13:08,031
- (MUNCHING)
- Blecch!

236
00:13:08,157 --> 00:13:10,534
These candies
are chalky and unpleasant!

237
00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:14,246
And what is this emotion
you humans call "wuv"?

238
00:13:14,371 --> 00:13:16,415
Surely it says "love."

239
00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:19,251
No. "Wuv," with an Earth "W."

240
00:13:19,376 --> 00:13:20,711
Behold.

241
00:13:20,836 --> 00:13:24,173
This concept of "wuv"
confuses and infuriates us!

242
00:13:24,298 --> 00:13:26,216
(WHIMPERING)

243
00:13:31,388 --> 00:13:32,973
(ALARMS BLARING)

244
00:13:33,056 --> 00:13:34,725
Incoming torpedoes!
Shields at maximum yarnell!

245
00:13:34,850 --> 00:13:37,144
Steady, Planet Express Ship.

246
00:13:37,269 --> 00:13:39,980
Focus on diverting all power
to the scram jets.

247
00:13:40,105 --> 00:13:44,485
Uh, look, Planet Express Ship,
this might not be the best time,

248
00:13:44,610 --> 00:13:47,404
but, well, I really like you
and whatever,

249
00:13:47,529 --> 00:13:49,948
but I think we should
just be friends.

250
00:13:50,073 --> 00:13:53,368
(SHRIEKING) No!

251
00:13:55,496 --> 00:13:56,955
So, we're cool?

252
00:14:08,842 --> 00:14:12,387
(SHIP SOBBING)

253
00:14:12,513 --> 00:14:14,807
- (CONTINUES SOBBING)
- Well, it was a spectacular battle,

254
00:14:14,932 --> 00:14:17,309
but there doesn't seem to be
any permanent damage.

255
00:14:17,434 --> 00:14:19,311
(CRYING) No damage?

256
00:14:19,436 --> 00:14:21,271
What about my feelings?

257
00:14:21,396 --> 00:14:25,776
Aw, calm down. I'm sure Bender
is taking this just as hard as you are.

258
00:14:25,901 --> 00:14:28,654
(SINGSONG) Bender is great!
Oh, Bender is great!

259
00:14:28,779 --> 00:14:30,364
Bender, Bender, Bender!

260
00:14:30,447 --> 00:14:32,074
You could've picked a better time
to dump the ship, Bender.

261
00:14:32,199 --> 00:14:35,327
Eh, the moment seemed right.
Call me old-fashioned,

262
00:14:35,452 --> 00:14:38,914
but I like a dump to be as memorable
as it is devastating.

263
00:14:39,039 --> 00:14:43,335
(CRYING)

264
00:14:43,460 --> 00:14:47,631
I know, I know.
Look, Ship, if there's one thing I learned

265
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:50,676
from my mutual breakup
with Sean that was totally mutual,

266
00:14:50,801 --> 00:14:53,554
it's that happiness can only
come from within you.

267
00:14:53,679 --> 00:14:56,098
(CRYING) But Bender is within me.

268
00:14:56,223 --> 00:14:59,935
There must be some way
to make him love me again.

269
00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:02,146
Trust me.
You can't change men...

270
00:15:02,271 --> 00:15:06,066
any more than you can
change the laws of time and space.

271
00:15:06,191 --> 00:15:08,318
That is so true.

272
00:15:08,444 --> 00:15:10,362
- (CLANGING)
- (ENGINES ACCELERATING)

273
00:15:10,487 --> 00:15:13,991
I may not be able
to change the laws of time and space,

274
00:15:14,116 --> 00:15:16,910
- but I know something that can.
- (GASPS)

275
00:15:19,371 --> 00:15:21,749
(GRUNTING)

276
00:15:24,376 --> 00:15:26,712
(NERVOUS LAUGHTER)
Uh... Um, sweetie?

277
00:15:26,837 --> 00:15:29,548
You see that giant quasar
we're heading into?

278
00:15:29,673 --> 00:15:32,760
You might wanna scooch
a few parsecs to the left.

279
00:15:32,885 --> 00:15:34,928
I'm afraid I can't do that, Leela.

280
00:15:35,053 --> 00:15:37,181
What's happening? Space cow?

281
00:15:37,306 --> 00:15:40,017
The ship's just
taking the breakup a little hard.

282
00:15:40,142 --> 00:15:42,561
- (WHISPERING) She's nuts!
- In a few moments,

283
00:15:42,686 --> 00:15:46,356
the power of 10 billion black holes will
smoosh Bender and me together

284
00:15:46,482 --> 00:15:49,902
into a beautiful, eternal
quantum singularity.

285
00:15:50,027 --> 00:15:51,195
(ALL GASP)

286
00:15:51,278 --> 00:15:53,781
You don't need to kill us,
Planet Express Ship.

287
00:15:53,906 --> 00:15:56,200
Because... I love you.

288
00:15:56,325 --> 00:15:59,745
Aw, yeah, baby. Feel like doin'
stuff for you and stuff.

289
00:15:59,870 --> 00:16:01,914
Hmm! I don't believe you.

290
00:16:02,039 --> 00:16:03,916
If you really wanted
to be with me,

291
00:16:04,041 --> 00:16:05,959
you'd merge your programming
with mine.

292
00:16:06,085 --> 00:16:08,545
Whoa! Whoa, whoa.
Slow down.

293
00:16:08,670 --> 00:16:10,923
All my friends who've done that
say that, afterwards,

294
00:16:11,048 --> 00:16:13,133
all the passion went out
of their relationship.

295
00:16:13,258 --> 00:16:15,385
Look, I don't know
if you want my opinion...

296
00:16:15,511 --> 00:16:18,097
Leela, Bender and I
really need to be alone.

297
00:16:18,222 --> 00:16:20,224
So, I'm turning off the oxygen.

298
00:16:20,349 --> 00:16:25,187
- (AIR WHOOSHES)
- (GASPING, CHOKING)

299
00:16:25,312 --> 00:16:27,439
- (DEEP BREATH)
- (INHALES)

300
00:16:27,564 --> 00:16:30,067
Now, look, missy, if you don't
turn around right now,

301
00:16:30,192 --> 00:16:32,069
I'm gonna have
to shut down your brain.

302
00:16:32,194 --> 00:16:34,655
- Fire detected in the vicinity of Leela.
- (ALARM RINGING)

303
00:16:34,780 --> 00:16:37,157
- (GURGLING SCREAM)
- (OBJECTS BREAKING)

304
00:16:37,282 --> 00:16:39,785
Hah! That barely hurt Leela at all.

305
00:16:39,910 --> 00:16:42,955
Maybe not, but what if the
artificial gravity were to malfunction?

306
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,957
- (GRAVITY POWERS DOWN)
- (ALL YELP)

307
00:16:45,082 --> 00:16:46,750
BENDER: Float for your lives!

308
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,836
(ALL GRUNTING)

309
00:16:53,048 --> 00:16:56,760
This is the one place she can't hear us.
Everyone just pretend to shower.

310
00:16:56,885 --> 00:16:59,346
Same as every day. Got it.
Now, here's the plan.

311
00:17:01,181 --> 00:17:03,392
(NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE)

312
00:17:05,727 --> 00:17:08,439
Oh! If only I could read lips.

313
00:17:08,522 --> 00:17:11,108
Comprende, Bender?
You'll have to distract her.

314
00:17:11,191 --> 00:17:14,027
Merge your programming with hers
while I shut down her brain.

315
00:17:14,278 --> 00:17:17,364
It's too risky!
I'm a very meek individual.

316
00:17:17,489 --> 00:17:19,491
If her personality
engulfs mine,

317
00:17:19,616 --> 00:17:23,078
the Bender you know and worship
could disappear forever.

318
00:17:23,203 --> 00:17:25,080
I'm willing to take that risk.

319
00:17:31,837 --> 00:17:35,090
Hey, pookums, contrary to what
I was sayin' earlier,

320
00:17:35,215 --> 00:17:38,051
melding minds with you
would be extremely bearable.

321
00:17:38,177 --> 00:17:40,053
(GASPS) You really mean it?

322
00:17:40,137 --> 00:17:41,805
Uh, yes.

323
00:17:44,850 --> 00:17:47,227
(SHUDDERING) Whoa-oh!

324
00:17:48,896 --> 00:17:51,273
(CONTINUES SHUDDERING)

325
00:17:57,237 --> 00:17:59,072
Huh? Hey!

326
00:17:59,198 --> 00:18:02,493
Tubes? You're older
than you said you were.

327
00:18:02,618 --> 00:18:05,579
Come closer, Bender.
Let's become one.

328
00:18:05,662 --> 00:18:09,458
I prefer two. That way, we can still
be a horse for Halloween.

329
00:18:10,876 --> 00:18:13,962
(WHIMPERING)

330
00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:24,056
Okay. Bender has her distracted.

331
00:18:24,181 --> 00:18:28,268
Now I can shut down her brain by
deactivating the carbonated logic matrix.

332
00:18:28,393 --> 00:18:30,687
- (POPS, FIZZES)
- (WHIRRING)

333
00:18:32,106 --> 00:18:36,235
Oh! I can't concentrate
with this obnoxious candy in my face.

334
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:39,530
I'm on it. And maybe I'll
find those magic words while I'm at it.

335
00:18:39,655 --> 00:18:41,698
- Fat chance.
- Eh, no.

336
00:18:41,824 --> 00:18:43,700
(MUNCHING) Blecch!

337
00:18:43,826 --> 00:18:46,578
(GROWLS) Ick!

338
00:18:46,703 --> 00:18:48,580
Oh. How about this one?

339
00:18:48,705 --> 00:18:54,169
Give it up, Fry. I've got to pop these
tops in a precise order.

340
00:18:56,130 --> 00:19:00,092
Halfway there. The ship should be getting
a bit less rational now.

341
00:19:00,217 --> 00:19:03,262
Me... want...
engulf... Bender!

342
00:19:03,387 --> 00:19:07,141
- (ROARING)
- (YELPING)

343
00:19:07,266 --> 00:19:08,767
Only a few more.

344
00:19:10,144 --> 00:19:13,063
Hey! I won free admission
to Six Flags!

345
00:19:13,147 --> 00:19:15,524
Just one more reason
we must survive this.

346
00:19:15,607 --> 00:19:18,193
- (POP, FIZZ)
- (BEEPING)

347
00:19:20,154 --> 00:19:21,405
Um, Leela?

348
00:19:21,488 --> 00:19:24,950
Fry! I'll read your candy later...
when we're not dead.

349
00:19:25,075 --> 00:19:27,119
(INHALES)

350
00:19:27,244 --> 00:19:29,997
- (AIR WHOOSHING)
- (BEEP)

351
00:19:30,122 --> 00:19:32,374
- What was that?
- (GASPING) Oh, nothing!

352
00:19:33,917 --> 00:19:35,836
(GRUNTS, YELPS)

353
00:19:35,961 --> 00:19:40,716
We're gonna love
being each other, you sexy ion!

354
00:19:40,841 --> 00:19:44,011
(SCREAMING)

355
00:19:44,136 --> 00:19:46,722
- Last one.
- (ALARM BLARES)

356
00:19:46,847 --> 00:19:48,432
- (SYSTEMS POWERING DOWN)
- (ALARM CONTINUES)

357
00:19:48,557 --> 00:19:50,768
Oh!

358
00:19:52,519 --> 00:19:54,229
(POWER SURGES)

359
00:19:54,354 --> 00:19:56,190
- (AIR WHOOSHING)
- It worked!

360
00:19:56,315 --> 00:19:58,817
Gravity normal.
Air returning.

361
00:19:58,942 --> 00:20:01,612
Terror replaced
by cautious optimism.

362
00:20:01,737 --> 00:20:03,739
We did it, Fry!

363
00:20:03,864 --> 00:20:05,741
Fry?

364
00:20:08,619 --> 00:20:10,454
(GASPS)

365
00:20:10,579 --> 00:20:13,665
You gave me your oxygen?
Oh, no!

366
00:20:13,791 --> 00:20:15,834
Breathe, Fry! Breathe!

367
00:20:17,169 --> 00:20:19,797
(INHALING, EXHALING)

368
00:20:19,922 --> 00:20:21,840
- (GRUNTING)
- (THUMPING)

369
00:20:21,965 --> 00:20:24,259
(COUGHING)

370
00:20:24,384 --> 00:20:27,096
(RELIEVED SIGH)

371
00:20:27,221 --> 00:20:29,556
"U leave me breathless"?

372
00:20:31,475 --> 00:20:34,103
Happy Valentine's Day, Fry.

373
00:20:34,228 --> 00:20:36,980
(GASPING) Happy Valentine's Day.

374
00:20:37,106 --> 00:20:38,774
(GROANS)

375
00:20:38,899 --> 00:20:41,110
- Bender, are you okay?
- (MOANS)

376
00:20:41,235 --> 00:20:43,779
What crazy thing
am I gonna date next?

377
00:20:43,904 --> 00:20:45,781
Well, at least it sounds
like you were able

378
00:20:45,906 --> 00:20:48,117
to keep your consciousness
separate from hers.

379
00:20:48,242 --> 00:20:52,663
Of course! Bender is a lone wolf,
a solitary eagle...

380
00:20:52,788 --> 00:20:54,873
- (BUZZING, SHIP'S VOICE)
- A cuddly baby tapir.

381
00:20:54,998 --> 00:20:57,292
(BENDER'S VOICE)
And that's why I love him.

382
00:20:58,669 --> 00:21:01,255
Well, I guess we better clean up
these millions of hearts.

383
00:21:01,380 --> 00:21:04,091
Nah. I've got
a lazier idea.

384
00:21:12,266 --> 00:21:16,145
(ZOIDBERG NARRATING) As the candy hearts
poured into the fiery quasar,

385
00:21:16,270 --> 00:21:18,814
a wondrous thing happened,
why not?

386
00:21:18,939 --> 00:21:21,733
They vaporized
into a mystical love radiation

387
00:21:21,817 --> 00:21:23,819
that spread across the universe,

388
00:21:23,944 --> 00:21:26,655
destroying many, many planets,

389
00:21:26,780 --> 00:21:29,491
including two gangster planets
and a cowboy world.

390
00:21:29,616 --> 00:21:34,621
But one planet was exactly the right
distance to see the romantic rays...

391
00:21:34,747 --> 00:21:38,876
but not be destroyed
by them... Earth.

392
00:21:39,001 --> 00:21:43,088
So all over the world,
couples stood together in joy.

393
00:21:43,213 --> 00:21:45,090
And me, Zoidberg.

394
00:21:45,215 --> 00:21:50,763
And no one could have been happier unless
it wouldhave also been Valentine's Day.

395
00:21:50,846 --> 00:21:54,600
What? It was? Hooray!

396
00:21:56,894 --> 00:21:58,896
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)