1
00:00:02,010 --> 00:00:04,012
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,460
Good news, everyone.

3
00:00:35,544 --> 00:00:38,297
You all know the orphanarium
where Leela grew up.

4
00:00:38,380 --> 00:00:40,799
- Sure. We talk about it all the time.
- Really?

5
00:00:40,882 --> 00:00:42,175
No. Burn!

6
00:00:43,051 --> 00:00:44,469
Well done, fellows.

7
00:00:44,553 --> 00:00:49,099
Anyway, said orphanarium
has named Leela "Orphan of the Year."

8
00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:52,853
- (ALL CHEERING)
- Your parents must be so proud.

9
00:00:52,936 --> 00:00:56,356
- Ooh, sorry.
- And the good news keeps on coming.

10
00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:59,234
Behold, my latest invention.

11
00:00:59,318 --> 00:01:00,319
(BEEPS)

12
00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:04,907
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
- BENDER: Neat.

13
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:07,284
(STRAINING)

14
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:08,869
(BEEPING)

15
00:01:14,249 --> 00:01:16,793
Ta-da! It's a glow-in-the-dark nose

16
00:01:16,919 --> 00:01:20,047
you can wear over
your regular non-glowing nose.

17
00:01:20,130 --> 00:01:21,256
Observe.

18
00:01:23,175 --> 00:01:25,302
AMY: Whoa! Clool!

19
00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:27,763
BENDER: Now I can punch you in the nose
in the dark.

20
00:01:27,846 --> 00:01:28,889
(FARNSWORTH SNEEZES)

21
00:01:30,265 --> 00:01:31,516
(IN NASAL VOICE) Where'd it go?

22
00:01:32,976 --> 00:01:36,480
Hey, Professor, what's all this groop
blurking out of the machine?

23
00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:39,983
That? It's, uh, nothing. Yes, nothing.

24
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:42,736
If you think it's anything,
you're a suspicious moron.

25
00:01:43,445 --> 00:01:45,322
It looks like toxic waste.

26
00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:48,200
(SNIFFING) And it smells like toxic waste.

27
00:01:48,283 --> 00:01:49,534
What does it taste like?

28
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:53,497
Delicious fig pudding! Ooh, that's good.

29
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:56,333
But a distinct aftertaste of toxic waste.

30
00:01:56,416 --> 00:02:01,296
All right, all right! So the machine
produces a few toxic by-products.

31
00:02:01,380 --> 00:02:03,465
You don't have to make
a federal case out of it.

32
00:02:03,548 --> 00:02:05,884
- I'm afraid I do.
- (FARNSWORTH GASPS)

33
00:02:05,968 --> 00:02:09,846
I order you to dispose of that toxic waste
properly or bribe me.

34
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,682
Either way, it'll cost $500.

35
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:14,977
Five hundred real dollars?
That's an outrage!

36
00:02:15,060 --> 00:02:20,065
Professor, I'll take care of that waste
for $499 and 100 cents.

37
00:02:20,148 --> 00:02:24,236
Hmm. I know that's a rip,
but I'll pay for the convenience.

38
00:02:24,319 --> 00:02:27,072
- Do you take credit cards?
- Let's find out.

39
00:02:27,155 --> 00:02:28,156
(SWIPES)

40
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:33,787
All right, environment.
You've met your match.

41
00:02:33,870 --> 00:02:36,248
(LAUGHS, GRUNTS)

42
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:39,293
(GLASS SHATTERS)

43
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:41,795
(DISTANT CLATTERING)

44
00:02:41,878 --> 00:02:42,879
(BENDER GRUNTING)

45
00:02:46,341 --> 00:02:47,342
(WHISTLING)

46
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:52,848
(COUGHING, SPITTING)

47
00:02:54,016 --> 00:02:57,185
Hey, get back in the sewer, weirdie.
No mutants on the surface.

48
00:02:57,269 --> 00:02:59,062
But he ruined my wedding dress.

49
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:02,232
Honey, that thing was ruined
the minute it went on you.

50
00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,359
That's what I'm talkin' about. (INHALES)

51
00:03:07,654 --> 00:03:11,700
You know, it's not easy being an orphan.
Not if I have anything to do with it.

52
00:03:11,783 --> 00:03:14,161
(CHUCKLES) Oh, God! (CLEARS THROAT)

53
00:03:14,244 --> 00:03:18,582
But today's honoree, Turanga Leela,
has really made something of herself.

54
00:03:19,541 --> 00:03:22,252
I'll never forget the night
that cute little alien baby

55
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:24,087
was abandoned on our doorstep.

56
00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:27,424
Because I have a photographic memory,
and I remember every night.

57
00:03:29,259 --> 00:03:30,260
(DOORBELL RINGS)

58
00:03:34,306 --> 00:03:36,391
- (RAIN PATTERING)
- (BABY BABBLING)

59
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:39,853
(CONTINUES BABBLING)

60
00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:48,987
VOGEL: What the... An alien language.

61
00:03:49,071 --> 00:03:50,530
I guess you're an alien.

62
00:03:50,614 --> 00:03:53,200
What a beautiful,
gigantic eye you have... (WINCES)

63
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:55,869
Well, come on in.

64
00:03:58,413 --> 00:04:00,290
VOGEL: From those humble beginnings,

65
00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:03,919
Leela went on to become
a county certified starship captain.

66
00:04:04,002 --> 00:04:07,130
And so it is my pleasure today,
to nail her picture

67
00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:10,342
alongside those
of our most distinguished alumni.

68
00:04:10,425 --> 00:04:11,969
(PEOPLE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

69
00:04:18,684 --> 00:04:21,562
Thank you very much. Like many of you,

70
00:04:21,645 --> 00:04:23,522
- I never knew my parents.
- VOGEL: Give me a...

71
00:04:23,605 --> 00:04:24,731
- I don't know...
- (VOGEL GRUNTS)

72
00:04:24,815 --> 00:04:26,817
- ...if they were alien overlords...
- That little...

73
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,069
...or simply underpaid alien janitors,

74
00:04:29,152 --> 00:04:31,363
- who fought crime on the side.
- There we are. Picture's up.

75
00:04:31,446 --> 00:04:33,574
- It's crooked!
- (GRUNTING)

76
00:04:34,366 --> 00:04:37,995
In the end, though,
it doesn't matter who my parents were.

77
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:42,666
All that matters is what I learned here,
within these unscalable walls,

78
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:45,836
that I had the strength
to make it on my own.

79
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:49,798
- Just like all of you kids here today.
- (CHEERING)

80
00:04:49,881 --> 00:04:53,135
(CHANTING) Leela! Leela! Leela!

81
00:04:53,218 --> 00:04:55,387
Look at me! I'm Leela!

82
00:04:55,470 --> 00:04:57,556
Nuh-uh, 'cause I'm Double Leela.

83
00:04:57,639 --> 00:05:00,017
Whee! (GRUNTS)

84
00:05:00,976 --> 00:05:03,520
That's it, Albert.
No more espresso for you.

85
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:06,398
Mind if we get a picture of you
with your picture for the news, ma'am?

86
00:05:06,481 --> 00:05:08,609
Yes. I mean, no.

87
00:05:08,692 --> 00:05:10,986
Just make sure you get my nonchalant side.

88
00:05:11,486 --> 00:05:13,572
Whoo!

89
00:05:16,992 --> 00:05:19,119
(LEELA SNIFFLING, SOBBING)

90
00:05:27,002 --> 00:05:29,588
If those aren't tears of happiness,
please stop crying.

91
00:05:29,671 --> 00:05:32,174
It's okay, Fry. I'm fine.

92
00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:34,843
I won an award today.

93
00:05:34,927 --> 00:05:37,095
Is it this room that's making you sad?

94
00:05:37,179 --> 00:05:39,806
It's probably the room.
Come on. Let's go for a walk.

95
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,685
I'm sorry you saw that, Fry.

96
00:05:43,769 --> 00:05:46,521
I usually try to keep my sadness
pent up inside,

97
00:05:46,605 --> 00:05:49,358
where it can fester quietly
as a mental illness.

98
00:05:49,441 --> 00:05:51,568
Yeah, I do that with my stupidness.

99
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:55,864
I told a whole crowd today
that being an orphan made me strong.

100
00:05:55,948 --> 00:05:58,200
But all I really wanted was a mom and dad

101
00:05:58,283 --> 00:06:01,870
to hold me and stroke my hair
and tell me they love me.

102
00:06:01,954 --> 00:06:03,622
Then today's your lucky day,

103
00:06:03,705 --> 00:06:08,627
because I happen to be a holding,
stroking, lovin' machine, also spanking.

104
00:06:08,710 --> 00:06:11,129
That's not even close
to what I had in mind.

105
00:06:11,213 --> 00:06:14,132
Well, anyway, just remember
that people care about you.

106
00:06:14,216 --> 00:06:15,217
I know.

107
00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,804
Sometimes, when I'm lonely,

108
00:06:18,887 --> 00:06:21,181
I look up at the sky,
and I get this feeling

109
00:06:21,265 --> 00:06:25,894
that somewhere, on some unknown planet
circling a distant star,

110
00:06:25,978 --> 00:06:28,897
my parents are up there,
looking down on me.

111
00:06:38,407 --> 00:06:39,408
(TRUCK BEEPING)

112
00:06:41,410 --> 00:06:42,411
(SCATTING)

113
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:47,207
Yo, yo, Ba-zender, what up?

114
00:06:47,291 --> 00:06:49,334
My dumping business is booming.

115
00:06:49,418 --> 00:06:52,546
I just got hired to clean up
the set of Free Willy 3.

116
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:53,672
(WHIRRING)

117
00:06:57,676 --> 00:06:58,677
(GRUNTING)

118
00:07:00,512 --> 00:07:02,139
Bender, cut it out!

119
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:04,433
First of all,
the sewer mutants will be mad.

120
00:07:04,516 --> 00:07:07,394
Second, everything else that's
horribly wrong with what you're doing.

121
00:07:07,477 --> 00:07:09,062
- (GRUNTS)
- (SPLASHING)

122
00:07:09,146 --> 00:07:11,940
Eh, those stupid mutants
can't do anything.

123
00:07:12,024 --> 00:07:14,693
You seem to be forgetting one simple fact.

124
00:07:14,776 --> 00:07:18,947
Namely, I'm up here,
and they are safely down...

125
00:07:19,031 --> 00:07:20,449
- (GASPS)
- (BENDER YELLS)

126
00:07:22,951 --> 00:07:23,952
(ALL SCREAMING)

127
00:07:30,125 --> 00:07:31,126
(CRASHING)

128
00:07:32,878 --> 00:07:35,756
What did I do to deserve this?

129
00:07:35,839 --> 00:07:39,593
Behold, our once-beautiful
mutagenic sewage lake.

130
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:41,803
The radioactive waste you've dumped in it

131
00:07:41,887 --> 00:07:44,973
has made it bright enough
to see how ugly we really are.

132
00:07:45,057 --> 00:07:46,892
- (SCREAMS)
- Oh, man!

133
00:07:46,975 --> 00:07:49,436
As if our lives
weren't miserable enough already.

134
00:07:49,519 --> 00:07:52,773
- Tell me about it.
- Let the punishment commence!

135
00:07:52,856 --> 00:07:53,982
- Punishment?
- No fair!

136
00:07:54,066 --> 00:07:55,067
Bender's innocent!

137
00:07:55,150 --> 00:07:57,903
The instant you touch
these mutateous waters,

138
00:07:57,986 --> 00:08:00,113
your DNA will be forever altered,

139
00:08:00,197 --> 00:08:02,908
turning you into horrible mutants like us.

140
00:08:02,991 --> 00:08:04,701
- Especially him.
- Oh!

141
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:07,037
- Allow me to demonstrate.
- (PULLEY WHIRRING)

142
00:08:10,666 --> 00:08:12,084
(ALL GASPING, EXCLAIMING)

143
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:17,464
ALL: Ew!

144
00:08:17,547 --> 00:08:21,134
(RETCHES) It's like that time
I peeked in the kitchen at Imperial Hunan.

145
00:08:21,218 --> 00:08:22,928
Submerge the prisoners!

146
00:08:24,179 --> 00:08:25,597
(BENDER YELLING, STAMMERING)

147
00:08:26,557 --> 00:08:29,893
Wait. I don't even have DNA.
Why am I screaming?

148
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:31,770
We're gonna beat you afterwards.

149
00:08:31,853 --> 00:08:35,107
(BENDER YELLING, STAMMERING) Oh, God!

150
00:08:35,190 --> 00:08:38,026
(CHANTING) Mutate! Mutate! Mutate!

151
00:08:38,110 --> 00:08:39,861
WOMAN: (GASPS) Turanga Leela!

152
00:08:39,945 --> 00:08:42,614
Who said that?
How do you know my real name?

153
00:08:42,698 --> 00:08:43,699
(BOTH GRUNTING)

154
00:08:46,118 --> 00:08:47,911
BENDER: Whee!

155
00:08:48,412 --> 00:08:49,413
(MUTANTS CLAMORING)

156
00:08:51,206 --> 00:08:52,207
(ALL GRUNT)

157
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:53,834
What happened?

158
00:08:53,917 --> 00:08:56,920
I don't know. I think I saved us somehow.

159
00:08:57,004 --> 00:09:00,591
MALE MUTANT 1: Go after them!
The waters can't mutate us mutants!

160
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:03,176
- (ALL YELLING)
- (MUTANTS GRUNTING)

161
00:09:06,471 --> 00:09:07,472
(ALL PANTING)

162
00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:12,185
BENDER: Duh, duh, duh!

163
00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:15,981
MALE MUTANT 2: They went this way!

164
00:09:16,064 --> 00:09:17,649
(MUTANTS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

165
00:09:20,485 --> 00:09:21,820
Quick! In there!

166
00:09:21,904 --> 00:09:22,905
(GRUNTS)

167
00:09:24,907 --> 00:09:25,908
(FRY GROANS)

168
00:09:26,992 --> 00:09:29,912
- (MUTANTS CLAMORING)
- Kill! Kill! Kill!

169
00:09:29,995 --> 00:09:31,830
Kill! Kill! Kill!

170
00:09:32,497 --> 00:09:33,498
(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)

171
00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:36,251
(GASPS)

172
00:09:37,628 --> 00:09:39,671
Great Cheech's ghost!

173
00:09:39,755 --> 00:09:41,089
BENDER: What's this junk?

174
00:09:41,173 --> 00:09:42,174
It looks like...

175
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:45,385
a timeline of my whole life.

176
00:09:45,469 --> 00:09:48,096
That's when we saved Earth
from a giant asteroid of garbage.

177
00:09:48,180 --> 00:09:51,350
LEELA: And here's when I dropped out
and bummed around India for a while.

178
00:09:51,433 --> 00:09:54,436
BENDER: And this is just last year
at Space Mardi Gras.

179
00:09:54,519 --> 00:09:59,107
It's like some kind of weird Leela museum.
And I'm the Leela.

180
00:09:59,191 --> 00:10:00,776
Dude, over here!

181
00:10:02,611 --> 00:10:06,114
It's all the best stuff
I ever flushed down the toilet.

182
00:10:06,198 --> 00:10:10,035
Those are some of my diary pages.
And my screenplay!

183
00:10:10,118 --> 00:10:13,830
And also, for some reason, the letter
I wrote you full of my personal feelings.

184
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,707
(SHIVERS) Oh, I'm scared!

185
00:10:15,791 --> 00:10:20,212
My whole life has just been a show
for some perverted mutant.

186
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:23,257
FEMALE MUTANT: They must be here.
MALE MUTANT: Capture them!

187
00:10:23,340 --> 00:10:24,716
And then, Bender ran.

188
00:10:25,133 --> 00:10:28,053
Leela, freak out later.
We're not done escaping yet.

189
00:10:29,805 --> 00:10:30,806
(BOTH STRAINING)

190
00:10:32,975 --> 00:10:34,851
- (MUTANTS YELL)
- Got ya!

191
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:37,813
- Take this! (GRUNTS)
- Ow!

192
00:10:38,272 --> 00:10:40,816
This time I'm calling
for the death penalty.

193
00:10:40,899 --> 00:10:43,986
And not just because I'm running
for reelection as supreme mutant.

194
00:10:44,069 --> 00:10:47,281
(CHANTING) Four more years!
Four more years!

195
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:49,491
Psst! (WHISPERING)

196
00:10:51,076 --> 00:10:53,537
Oh, very well. Your attention.

197
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,706
Instead of being tortured to death,

198
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:59,084
the prisoners shall hereby be expelled
from the sewers

199
00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:01,086
and never allowed to return.

200
00:11:01,169 --> 00:11:03,005
Oh, cruel fate!

201
00:11:03,088 --> 00:11:07,050
Can we really never return
to this dank pit of sewage?

202
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:10,304
Wait a minute.
Why aren't you gonna kill us anymore?

203
00:11:10,387 --> 00:11:12,764
Yeah, what are you, chicken? (CLUCKING)

204
00:11:13,682 --> 00:11:17,060
(WHISPERS) Shut up, you two.
We can kill ourselves when we get home.

205
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:19,605
They'll need transportation
to the surface.

206
00:11:19,688 --> 00:11:21,148
Bring in the airship.

207
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:25,485
- Ew!
- We constructed it from the remnants

208
00:11:25,569 --> 00:11:28,572
of old discarded Macy's Parade balloons.

209
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:32,910
Underdog's groin,
Bart Simpson's left ear and right shin,

210
00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:35,412
Garfield's owner Jon's forehead.

211
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,122
Fire up the sewer gas!

212
00:11:38,415 --> 00:11:39,416
(COUGHING)

213
00:11:52,304 --> 00:11:55,265
- (METAL CLANGS)
- Move it, you ugly normals!

214
00:11:55,349 --> 00:11:57,559
(GRUNTS, WHIMPERS) Whoa!

215
00:11:59,061 --> 00:12:01,230
Huh? (WHIMPERING)

216
00:12:01,313 --> 00:12:03,774
I'm getting dizzy. I can't walk straight.

217
00:12:06,235 --> 00:12:07,236
(SCATTING)

218
00:12:11,615 --> 00:12:13,116
(FRY WHIMPERS)

219
00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:17,955
LEELA: Whoa. Whoa!

220
00:12:25,295 --> 00:12:26,880
Come on, Leela. You can do it!

221
00:12:26,964 --> 00:12:28,840
BENDER: Hurry, we're missing our bus!

222
00:12:40,561 --> 00:12:42,771
- FRY: Hey, what are you doing?
- (BUS APPROACHING)

223
00:12:42,854 --> 00:12:44,648
BENDER: I'm gettin' on the bus!

224
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,651
Don't worry. I'll be fine.

225
00:12:49,361 --> 00:12:50,821
They know something about me.

226
00:12:51,321 --> 00:12:53,198
And I've got to find out what.

227
00:13:08,130 --> 00:13:09,131
(BUBBLING)

228
00:13:20,434 --> 00:13:21,435
(RETCHES)

229
00:13:23,312 --> 00:13:27,441
The lake didn't mutate me.
What is going on here?

230
00:13:27,524 --> 00:13:30,986
It worked for me. I used to be
a little blonde girl named Virginia.

231
00:13:31,069 --> 00:13:32,696
- (RETCHES)
- (SPLASHING)

232
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:33,780
(GASPS)

233
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:36,742
Who the hell are you?

234
00:13:36,825 --> 00:13:39,286
No one. And watch your language,
young lady!

235
00:13:39,369 --> 00:13:41,204
- (LEELA GROWLS)
- (BOTH WHIMPER)

236
00:13:44,875 --> 00:13:46,168
- Stop right there!
- (GUN POWERS UP)

237
00:13:46,251 --> 00:13:47,878
- I don't wanna hurt you.
- (YELLS)

238
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,547
(GRUNTS) I didn't want you
to hurt me either.

239
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:57,346
Leela's going nuts, and I can't save her

240
00:13:57,429 --> 00:13:59,556
unless I learn more
about her mysterious past.

241
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:01,516
Isn't there anything else you can tell me?

242
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,061
Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be
a waste of your time.

243
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,563
That's impossible,
because my time is worthless.

244
00:14:06,647 --> 00:14:08,482
Oh. Well, then there is one thing.

245
00:14:09,733 --> 00:14:12,653
It's the note I found with Leela
the day she was abandoned.

246
00:14:12,736 --> 00:14:16,031
But it's written in Alienese,
so no one on Earth can translate it.

247
00:14:16,573 --> 00:14:18,617
- Not even Brainzilla.
- Hand it over.

248
00:14:18,700 --> 00:14:19,701
Sure.

249
00:14:20,244 --> 00:14:22,079
I just wish I could be more helpful.

250
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:24,289
Would you like some dirt
on any other orphans?

251
00:14:24,373 --> 00:14:27,960
Look. I'm trying to save someone here.
I'll have to come back for those later.

252
00:14:31,546 --> 00:14:33,382
- Can you translate it?
- Of course.

253
00:14:33,465 --> 00:14:35,509
But only into Beta-crypt-three.

254
00:14:35,592 --> 00:14:39,721
A language so complex, there's even
less chance of understanding it.

255
00:14:39,805 --> 00:14:42,182
I didn't ask for
a completely reasonable excuse.

256
00:14:42,266 --> 00:14:43,559
I asked you to get busy.

257
00:14:43,642 --> 00:14:45,519
- Very well.
- (BEEPING)

258
00:14:47,145 --> 00:14:49,231
(BEEPING, WHIRRING)

259
00:14:49,314 --> 00:14:51,191
Isn't that the same machine
that makes noses?

260
00:14:51,275 --> 00:14:53,443
It can do other things. Why shouldn't it?

261
00:14:53,902 --> 00:14:54,903
(STRAINING)

262
00:14:57,364 --> 00:15:00,659
Of course, even if it is possible
to analyze the message,

263
00:15:00,742 --> 00:15:03,495
there's no way of knowing
how long it would take.

264
00:15:03,579 --> 00:15:07,499
It could take an hour,
or it could take a hundred million years.

265
00:15:07,583 --> 00:15:08,834
- (BELL DINGS)
- Is it done?

266
00:15:08,917 --> 00:15:11,962
Certainly not. Two dings means it's done.

267
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:13,130
(DINGS TWICE)

268
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:15,382
But not like that. Slightly more rapid.

269
00:15:15,465 --> 00:15:17,175
- (DINGS TWICE RAPIDLY)
- (GASPS)

270
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:22,222
(PANTING)

271
00:15:31,106 --> 00:15:33,108
Where did they go?

272
00:15:36,528 --> 00:15:37,863
- (CLATTERING)
- (LEELA GRUNTS)

273
00:15:37,946 --> 00:15:40,449
Good news, Leela. I landed the contract

274
00:15:40,532 --> 00:15:43,827
to empty all the spittoons
in Little Italy. (GRUNTS)

275
00:15:44,161 --> 00:15:45,162
(GRUNTS)

276
00:15:45,871 --> 00:15:46,872
Ew!

277
00:15:49,166 --> 00:15:50,167
(FARNSWORTH SNORING)

278
00:15:51,043 --> 00:15:52,920
- (BELL DINGS TWICE)
- (MACHINE POWERS DOWN)

279
00:15:53,003 --> 00:15:54,880
- That's it. It's done.
- (GASPS)

280
00:15:54,963 --> 00:15:58,342
I can't believe it. My mind is boggling.

281
00:15:58,425 --> 00:16:01,094
The analysis of the note
is printing out now.

282
00:16:01,178 --> 00:16:02,429
(PRINTER WHIRRING SLOWLY)

283
00:16:18,654 --> 00:16:19,655
(GASPS)

284
00:16:21,949 --> 00:16:22,950
(BABY CRYING)

285
00:16:26,161 --> 00:16:27,579
DOCTOR: It's a girl.

286
00:16:27,663 --> 00:16:30,249
My God, she's beautiful.

287
00:16:30,332 --> 00:16:31,792
No extra anythings.

288
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,126
(BABBLING)

289
00:16:34,628 --> 00:16:36,046
What people skills!

290
00:16:36,546 --> 00:16:38,382
She's completely perfect!

291
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:43,845
In my professional opinion as
an ear, ear, ear, nose and throat doctor,

292
00:16:43,929 --> 00:16:47,307
she is the least mutated mutant ever born.

293
00:16:47,391 --> 00:16:52,271
And yet, she's cursed to live
the horrible, degrading life of a mutant.

294
00:16:52,354 --> 00:16:54,731
Like all of us. Especially him.

295
00:16:54,815 --> 00:16:56,400
(SNIFFLES) It's true.

296
00:16:56,817 --> 00:16:59,027
Maybe we can do better for her.

297
00:17:07,619 --> 00:17:08,620
(THUNDERCLAP)

298
00:17:12,791 --> 00:17:13,792
(STRAINING)

299
00:17:18,297 --> 00:17:19,423
(BABY LEELA BABBLING)

300
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:26,680
I made this bracelet so that in some
small way, we'll always be with you.

301
00:17:27,097 --> 00:17:28,932
Even when it doesn't seem like it.

302
00:17:29,641 --> 00:17:32,853
During your entire life,
for example. (KISSES)

303
00:17:32,936 --> 00:17:35,606
You won't pass for human, cutie.

304
00:17:35,689 --> 00:17:39,985
But if my PhD in Excel-Linguistics
is worth diddly-poop,

305
00:17:40,068 --> 00:17:42,613
this note should convince them
you're an alien.

306
00:17:43,614 --> 00:17:46,617
And that'll be enough
to give you a real life.

307
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:47,701
(BABBLING)

308
00:17:51,788 --> 00:17:52,789
(DOORBELL RINGS)

309
00:18:00,756 --> 00:18:05,010
- She'll never know we're her parents.
- That's our gift to her.

310
00:18:05,302 --> 00:18:09,848
Better we should die than have her learn
the shameful truth of her origin.

311
00:18:09,932 --> 00:18:10,933
I'm with ya.

312
00:18:11,642 --> 00:18:13,227
VOGEL: I guess you're an alien.

313
00:18:13,352 --> 00:18:16,063
What a beautiful,
gigantic eye you have... (WINCES)

314
00:18:17,105 --> 00:18:18,523
Well, come on in.

315
00:18:19,358 --> 00:18:21,902
- (BOTH INHALE)
- (SPLASHING)

316
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:26,406
(PANTING)

317
00:18:28,909 --> 00:18:29,910
(PANTING)

318
00:18:40,671 --> 00:18:42,589
WOMAN: Keep quiet so she doesn't hear us.

319
00:18:42,673 --> 00:18:44,383
- MAN: What's there to talk about?
- Shh!

320
00:18:44,466 --> 00:18:45,884
- LEELA: Hands up!
- (BOTH GASP)

321
00:18:45,968 --> 00:18:49,096
- Tentacles too!
- Don't say anything stupid, Morris.

322
00:18:49,179 --> 00:18:50,973
What is all this?

323
00:18:51,390 --> 00:18:52,683
Am I a game to you?

324
00:18:52,766 --> 00:18:55,561
Or some kind of
even more boring Truman Show?

325
00:18:56,019 --> 00:18:57,729
Do you believe I'm your Messiah?

326
00:18:57,813 --> 00:18:59,398
The mutant Dalai Lama?

327
00:18:59,481 --> 00:19:00,691
Stop me if I guess it.

328
00:19:00,774 --> 00:19:02,609
- Well, actually, they're...
- Morris, shh!

329
00:19:02,693 --> 00:19:04,611
And what about this?

330
00:19:09,116 --> 00:19:10,659
Where'd you get this bracelet?

331
00:19:10,742 --> 00:19:12,953
Did you steal it from me
when I was a baby?

332
00:19:13,036 --> 00:19:14,413
Or from my parents?

333
00:19:14,496 --> 00:19:17,082
You robbed my parents, didn't you?

334
00:19:17,666 --> 00:19:20,419
I bet you sick mutants killed them!

335
00:19:20,502 --> 00:19:25,465
My parents were confused aliens
lost on Earth, and you killed them!

336
00:19:25,549 --> 00:19:27,301
Is that it? Admit it!

337
00:19:28,510 --> 00:19:30,470
Yes, we killed them.

338
00:19:30,554 --> 00:19:32,180
You guessed the truth.

339
00:19:32,264 --> 00:19:34,016
(GRUNTS ANGRILY)

340
00:19:34,099 --> 00:19:37,436
Because of you,
I'll never know my parents!

341
00:19:37,519 --> 00:19:39,187
I'll kill you!

342
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:41,231
That would be best.

343
00:19:45,903 --> 00:19:48,196
(BEEPING, POWERING UP, ZAPPING)

344
00:19:50,157 --> 00:19:51,158
FRY: Stop!

345
00:19:51,783 --> 00:19:53,869
(GRUNTS) Thanks, Bender.

346
00:19:53,952 --> 00:19:55,078
Don't do it, Leela!

347
00:19:55,162 --> 00:19:57,873
- They killed my parents!
- Close.

348
00:20:01,919 --> 00:20:04,796
- They are my parents.
- Yes.

349
00:20:05,213 --> 00:20:08,508
I had the professor analyze the Alienese
letter that was found with you.

350
00:20:08,592 --> 00:20:10,594
- What does it say?
- I dunno.

351
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:14,139
But the analysis showed
it was printed on recycled toilet paper.

352
00:20:14,223 --> 00:20:17,476
A squeezably soft paper
used mainly in the sewers.

353
00:20:18,602 --> 00:20:22,689
It says,
"Your parents love you very much."

354
00:20:22,773 --> 00:20:24,024
We still do.

355
00:20:24,107 --> 00:20:27,736
So, I'm not an alien? I'm a mutant?

356
00:20:27,819 --> 00:20:31,323
We never wanted you to know.
You deserved a better life.

357
00:20:31,823 --> 00:20:35,160
You must despise us. (SOBBING)

358
00:20:35,244 --> 00:20:36,870
You're my parents!

359
00:20:37,329 --> 00:20:39,581
All I've ever wanted is to know you.

360
00:20:39,665 --> 00:20:44,086
(SOBBING) This is the happiest moment
of my life.

361
00:20:44,169 --> 00:20:45,170
(ALL SOBBING)

362
00:20:51,635 --> 00:20:52,636
Aw!

363
00:20:59,434 --> 00:21:01,687
When I see you alone

364
00:21:01,770 --> 00:21:04,147
I see what's in your mind

365
00:21:04,231 --> 00:21:06,483
You want me
Yes, you do

366
00:21:06,567 --> 00:21:08,735
You don't need to tell me

367
00:21:08,819 --> 00:21:11,196
I know you love me most

368
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,657
No one else take my place

369
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:15,867
You need me
Yes, you do

370
00:21:15,951 --> 00:21:18,453
Forever and ever

371
00:21:19,413 --> 00:21:23,333
When we kiss
I see what's in your heart

372
00:21:23,417 --> 00:21:25,544
You love me
Yes, you do

373
00:21:25,627 --> 00:21:28,088
You don't need to tell me

374
00:21:28,171 --> 00:21:30,424
I know you love me most

375
00:21:30,507 --> 00:21:32,718
No one else take my place

376
00:21:32,801 --> 00:21:35,137
You need me, you do

377
00:21:35,220 --> 00:21:37,639
Forever and ever

378
00:21:38,682 --> 00:21:42,352
We are
Baby love child

379
00:21:43,145 --> 00:21:47,274
I'll take you so high
Groovy love child

380
00:21:48,191 --> 00:21:52,070
Give me a kiss
Baby love child

381
00:21:52,821 --> 00:21:54,615
Do it again

382
00:21:57,159 --> 00:21:59,161
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)