1
00:00:02,606 --> 00:00:04,608
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:43,105 --> 00:00:44,106
LEO: Yes?

3
00:00:44,189 --> 00:00:46,441
Hi, Dad! It's me and my co-workers.

4
00:00:46,650 --> 00:00:49,069
INEZ: Open up, Leo.
It's Amy and her weirdos.

5
00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,990
Howdy, friends! Welcome to Mars!

6
00:00:55,242 --> 00:00:57,619
Thanks so much for inviting us, Mr. Wong.

7
00:00:57,703 --> 00:00:59,746
I've never been to a Mars Day Barbecue.

8
00:00:59,830 --> 00:01:02,124
Oh, Mars Day much better than Earth Day.

9
00:01:02,207 --> 00:01:04,918
Dump trash wherever you want.
Big empty planet.

10
00:01:05,002 --> 00:01:07,379
Okay, then! Make yourselves at home.

11
00:01:07,462 --> 00:01:09,172
Don't mind if I already did.

12
00:01:09,506 --> 00:01:13,093
By the way, do you have anymore
of this Dom Perignon Bubble Bath?

13
00:01:13,218 --> 00:01:15,679
There was only enough
to fill the tub halfway.

14
00:01:15,971 --> 00:01:16,972
(BOTH GRUMBLING)

15
00:01:20,684 --> 00:01:22,936
This is quite a large ranch you have.

16
00:01:23,103 --> 00:01:24,938
Seventeen-point-nine billion acres.

17
00:01:25,147 --> 00:01:27,107
We own entire Western Hemisphere.

18
00:01:27,524 --> 00:01:28,984
That the best hemisphere.

19
00:01:29,067 --> 00:01:30,652
It's the same on Earth.

20
00:01:32,070 --> 00:01:33,447
(CRACKLING)

21
00:01:33,530 --> 00:01:35,908
LEO: Here is
most number one product of all.

22
00:01:35,991 --> 00:01:37,367
The mighty Buggalo.

23
00:01:37,451 --> 00:01:38,744
They used for everything.

24
00:01:38,827 --> 00:01:41,413
Meat, milk, and their shells
make good row boat.

25
00:01:41,914 --> 00:01:43,832
I broke your television!

26
00:01:44,208 --> 00:01:47,002
Man, it must take forever
to brand all those cattle.

27
00:01:47,085 --> 00:01:48,921
Not really. We own so much stuff,

28
00:01:49,004 --> 00:01:51,632
it easier just to brand
everything that not ours.

29
00:01:51,715 --> 00:01:52,716
(SIZZLING)

30
00:01:54,343 --> 00:01:55,344
Please don't do that.

31
00:01:57,262 --> 00:01:59,389
Hey! Betsy!

32
00:02:00,015 --> 00:02:01,016
(SLURPS)

33
00:02:01,808 --> 00:02:03,852
This is my sweet little Betsy.

34
00:02:03,936 --> 00:02:06,438
I raised her from a larva
that ate one of my sweaters.

35
00:02:06,522 --> 00:02:08,273
Yes, everybody love Betsy.

36
00:02:08,357 --> 00:02:10,025
We going to eat her at Amy's wedding.

37
00:02:10,108 --> 00:02:11,735
If she ever get married.

38
00:02:11,818 --> 00:02:13,654
Dad! Gleesh!

39
00:02:13,737 --> 00:02:16,782
Please don't say things like that
when you meet my boyfriend tonight.

40
00:02:16,865 --> 00:02:17,908
Ah, that right.

41
00:02:17,991 --> 00:02:20,827
We finally get to spend
some time with this Mr. Kiff.

42
00:02:20,994 --> 00:02:24,456
I just hope he's a nice man
who can make us lot of grand children.

43
00:02:24,540 --> 00:02:27,709
This not some parallel universe
where you’re getting any younger.

44
00:02:37,636 --> 00:02:38,720
Now remember, Kiff.

45
00:02:38,804 --> 00:02:41,848
The quickest way to a girl's bed
is through her parents.

46
00:02:42,057 --> 00:02:43,725
Have sex with them, and you're in.

47
00:02:43,809 --> 00:02:48,021
Actually, Sir, I'm... I'm a little
nervous about meeting her family.

48
00:02:48,105 --> 00:02:51,149
Well, that's natural.
After all, you're meek and uninteresting.

49
00:02:51,233 --> 00:02:53,944
Until now, you've gotten by
on my leftover charisma.

50
00:02:54,027 --> 00:02:56,613
Scrounging off it,
like a tiny charisma parasite.

51
00:02:56,738 --> 00:02:58,240
I just hope they like me.

52
00:02:58,365 --> 00:02:59,449
And why wouldn't they?

53
00:02:59,575 --> 00:03:00,909
Yes, yes, I know.

54
00:03:00,993 --> 00:03:02,786
Tiny, meek, uninteresting.

55
00:03:02,870 --> 00:03:06,832
Spare me your tedious life story, Kiff.
And above all, have fun!

56
00:03:08,709 --> 00:03:11,295
(COUNTRY WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING)

57
00:03:11,378 --> 00:03:13,046
Yeah, get on down!

58
00:03:13,255 --> 00:03:14,506
(RECORD SCRATCHING)

59
00:03:14,590 --> 00:03:18,802
Oh, yeah! Drop another
barnyard bomb on us, Vanilla Corn!

60
00:03:19,177 --> 00:03:21,805
Yo, fool! It's Mix-Master Festus.

61
00:03:22,681 --> 00:03:25,934
(SIZZLING)

62
00:03:36,528 --> 00:03:38,280
So what's Mars Day about, anyway?

63
00:03:38,363 --> 00:03:40,824
It commemorate the day, centuries ago,

64
00:03:40,908 --> 00:03:45,120
when our ancestor, Sir Reginald Wong,
bought Mars from stupid natives.

65
00:03:45,204 --> 00:03:47,623
How can you call
the native Martians stupid?

66
00:03:47,706 --> 00:03:49,708
They sell whole planet for one bead.

67
00:03:49,791 --> 00:03:50,876
Sound stupid to me.

68
00:03:52,586 --> 00:03:53,754
That is stupid!

69
00:03:53,837 --> 00:03:55,631
I can't believe you're laughing

70
00:03:55,714 --> 00:03:58,967
at the tragic exploitation of a proud,
bead loving people.

71
00:03:59,051 --> 00:04:00,844
Lighten up, Leela. It's funny.

72
00:04:00,928 --> 00:04:03,430
Of course it is.
But you don't have to laugh!

73
00:04:06,516 --> 00:04:09,019
Amy, no. Not on your parent's planet.

74
00:04:09,102 --> 00:04:10,103
Howdy, Amy.

75
00:04:10,187 --> 00:04:12,189
Glad to see you've come back
to the country.

76
00:04:12,314 --> 00:04:13,690
It's where the flavor is.

77
00:04:15,067 --> 00:04:17,194
R.J. this is my boyfriend, Kiff.

78
00:04:17,277 --> 00:04:18,278
This wimp?

79
00:04:18,403 --> 00:04:20,405
You've gone a long way, baby.

80
00:04:21,114 --> 00:04:22,324
Cigarette, pardner?

81
00:04:22,449 --> 00:04:23,575
Oh, I don't...

82
00:04:23,909 --> 00:04:26,119
(COUGHING)

83
00:04:26,203 --> 00:04:28,539
- I haven't even lit it yet.
- Oh.

84
00:04:29,039 --> 00:04:30,624
- Is it lit now?
- Yep.

85
00:04:30,916 --> 00:04:33,752
(COUGHING)

86
00:04:34,127 --> 00:04:35,170
You're pathetic.

87
00:04:36,755 --> 00:04:40,425
Host man? Host woman?
I'm having a wonderful time!

88
00:04:40,509 --> 00:04:43,428
You here five hours,
and already you tear up couch,

89
00:04:43,512 --> 00:04:46,848
draw mustache on priceless painting,
and fill pool with brine shrimp.

90
00:04:46,932 --> 00:04:49,184
Not bad for a city boy, huh?

91
00:04:49,476 --> 00:04:53,146
By the way, I took the liberty
of fertilizing your caviar.

92
00:05:02,865 --> 00:05:03,866
(BELCHES)

93
00:05:04,741 --> 00:05:06,243
Um... Uh...

94
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:11,081
Just relax.
I'm sure my parents will love you.

95
00:05:11,164 --> 00:05:12,624
You don't understand.

96
00:05:12,708 --> 00:05:16,420
When I get nervous,
I can't control my camouflage reflex.

97
00:05:16,670 --> 00:05:20,632
Oh, dear. Oh, goodness.
Oh, odds and bodkins.

98
00:05:21,049 --> 00:05:22,843
I'll have a thorax and some feelers.

99
00:05:23,093 --> 00:05:24,469
You want some salad with that?

100
00:05:24,553 --> 00:05:25,554
Yuck!

101
00:05:26,096 --> 00:05:28,557
Mom? Dad? You remember Kiff.

102
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:29,766
This your boyfriend?

103
00:05:29,850 --> 00:05:31,310
I have instant dislike of him.

104
00:05:31,393 --> 00:05:33,812
He too scrawny to father grandchildren.

105
00:05:33,979 --> 00:05:36,940
He's not scrawny. He's just small-boned.

106
00:05:37,024 --> 00:05:39,026
Actually, I don't have bones.

107
00:05:39,109 --> 00:05:42,321
I'm supported by a system
of fluid-filled bladders that...

108
00:05:42,404 --> 00:05:44,281
Yes, yes, you a big, squishy wuss.

109
00:05:44,364 --> 00:05:46,658
Amy should be dating real man. Like him!

110
00:05:48,493 --> 00:05:50,037
I can be manly, too.

111
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,164
I think I'll light up a smoke.

112
00:05:54,666 --> 00:05:55,667
Wrong way.

113
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:58,045
Smooth.

114
00:05:59,671 --> 00:06:00,672
(GAGGING)

115
00:06:01,715 --> 00:06:03,133
Look on the bright side.

116
00:06:03,217 --> 00:06:07,346
My parents left after you passed out,
so they didn't even see you barf.

117
00:06:07,429 --> 00:06:11,516
Oh, now they'll never think I'm manly
enough to date their daughter.

118
00:06:11,725 --> 00:06:13,727
(SOBBING)

119
00:06:13,936 --> 00:06:15,354
It's okay, Kiff.

120
00:06:16,438 --> 00:06:18,106
I'll go get you a tissue from your tote.

121
00:06:19,316 --> 00:06:22,528
Hey there, Amy.
Like you to meet my buddy, Joe.

122
00:06:22,778 --> 00:06:23,987
Sorry I'm late.

123
00:06:24,071 --> 00:06:27,241
My pool game ran long at the jazz club.

124
00:06:27,366 --> 00:06:29,618
(CHUCKLES) Kids love him.

125
00:06:29,785 --> 00:06:30,786
(GRUMBLES)

126
00:06:32,037 --> 00:06:34,373
(LOW-PITCHED HUMMING)

127
00:06:34,456 --> 00:06:35,791
What's that weird sound?

128
00:06:38,585 --> 00:06:41,046
Dust storm. Dust storm!

129
00:06:41,129 --> 00:06:43,840
Everybody into house! Hurry before we die.

130
00:06:43,924 --> 00:06:45,092
And wipe your damn feet.

131
00:06:48,387 --> 00:06:51,890
Phew. Everyone okay?
No one considering lawsuit?

132
00:06:52,015 --> 00:06:55,394
Hmm. I might have mental anguish.

133
00:06:55,477 --> 00:06:58,063
I have you know I'm friends
with every judge on planet.

134
00:06:58,146 --> 00:06:59,147
I'm okay, then.

135
00:06:59,690 --> 00:07:00,816
Storm dying down.

136
00:07:00,899 --> 00:07:02,860
Leo, check if Buggalo herd is okay.

137
00:07:02,985 --> 00:07:03,986
(WIND HOWLING)

138
00:07:08,991 --> 00:07:10,617
(ALL GASPING)

139
00:07:10,993 --> 00:07:12,619
What happened to the Buggalo?

140
00:07:12,703 --> 00:07:16,039
They been rustled under cover of storm!
We ruined!

141
00:07:16,415 --> 00:07:18,500
No!

142
00:07:19,710 --> 00:07:22,170
Don't worry, Daddy. It'll be okay.

143
00:07:22,296 --> 00:07:24,172
Really? Who gonna save us?

144
00:07:24,381 --> 00:07:27,593
One-eye? Lobster mooch?
Drunken garbage can?

145
00:07:27,718 --> 00:07:29,553
This sounds like a job for...

146
00:07:29,636 --> 00:07:31,513
Lieutenant Kiff Kroker!

147
00:07:31,597 --> 00:07:32,598
All right, then.

148
00:07:40,689 --> 00:07:41,857
Hi-ya!

149
00:07:41,940 --> 00:07:45,527
Those Buggalo were what made
Wong family so rich and powerful.

150
00:07:45,777 --> 00:07:48,739
Oh, Inez, we damn stolen! We ruined!

151
00:07:48,822 --> 00:07:50,282
Okay, I want a divorce.

152
00:07:50,365 --> 00:07:53,577
Mom! Dad! Don't ask me to choose!

153
00:07:53,994 --> 00:07:57,748
They're not your parents. I'm not your
sister. And that's not your golf cart.

154
00:07:58,165 --> 00:07:59,166
(SADLY) Oh.

155
00:08:00,042 --> 00:08:01,877
(GOLF CART BEEPING)

156
00:08:03,128 --> 00:08:06,840
Everybody just calm down.
Kiff promised he'd catch the rustlers.

157
00:08:09,426 --> 00:08:11,470
(FOOTSTEPS THUD)

158
00:08:14,097 --> 00:08:17,184
Mrs. Wong, do you have a neckerchief
I could borrow?

159
00:08:17,851 --> 00:08:19,436
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

160
00:08:19,519 --> 00:08:22,689
My plan is to take
all the remaining Buggalo

161
00:08:22,773 --> 00:08:25,317
and lead them on a rough,
tough cattle drive.

162
00:08:25,692 --> 00:08:28,987
Then, when the rustlers attack,
I'll make a citizen’s arrest.

163
00:08:29,321 --> 00:08:30,572
It sounds dangerous.

164
00:08:30,656 --> 00:08:32,282
Someone could get killed.

165
00:08:32,366 --> 00:08:35,202
Fry? Leela? Bender?
I want you to go with him.

166
00:08:35,285 --> 00:08:36,286
Oh, man.

167
00:08:36,370 --> 00:08:37,496
"I want you to go with him."

168
00:08:37,579 --> 00:08:42,709
Don't worry, Mr. and Mrs. Wong,
I'll get your cattle back, or die trying.

169
00:08:42,793 --> 00:08:43,919
Hey, we can't lose.

170
00:08:44,002 --> 00:08:46,255
No, Kiff, it's too risky!

171
00:08:46,338 --> 00:08:48,674
You don't have to do this
to prove your manliness.

172
00:08:48,757 --> 00:08:49,883
Oh yes, he does!

173
00:08:51,426 --> 00:08:52,427
Here are your mounts.

174
00:08:55,264 --> 00:08:56,723
She's got a fine coat.

175
00:08:56,974 --> 00:08:59,893
Now, we need Buggalo to lure the rustlers.

176
00:08:59,977 --> 00:09:00,978
How many are left?

177
00:09:01,061 --> 00:09:02,187
You're lookin' at her.

178
00:09:02,271 --> 00:09:03,939
Betsy's the only one left.

179
00:09:04,022 --> 00:09:06,108
She was curled up in my hamper
when the storm hit.

180
00:09:06,692 --> 00:09:09,027
- (DOORBELL RINGING)
- LEO: Oh!

181
00:09:09,152 --> 00:09:10,737
Aw. She likes you.

182
00:09:10,821 --> 00:09:11,822
(SLURPING)

183
00:09:11,989 --> 00:09:16,910
Saddle up, men!
We got some no-good rustlers to catch!

184
00:09:25,127 --> 00:09:28,046
♪ We got a right
To pick a little fight with rustlers ♪

185
00:09:28,338 --> 00:09:31,550
♪ Somebody wants to pick a fight with us
He'd better bite my ass! ♪

186
00:09:31,675 --> 00:09:33,427
Yee-ha!

187
00:09:33,510 --> 00:09:36,096
Wow! Look at that! Olympus Mons!

188
00:09:36,471 --> 00:09:38,849
The tallest volcano in the solar system.

189
00:09:38,932 --> 00:09:39,933
Where?

190
00:09:40,017 --> 00:09:41,018
Right in front of you.

191
00:09:41,393 --> 00:09:42,853
FRY: Oh. Oh!

192
00:09:42,936 --> 00:09:44,354
We'll camp near the top.

193
00:09:44,438 --> 00:09:46,607
The rustlers will be sure
to spot us there.

194
00:09:46,690 --> 00:09:47,691
Where?

195
00:09:49,026 --> 00:09:53,280
And even though the computer was off
and unplugged,

196
00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:56,617
an image stayed on the screen.

197
00:09:56,950 --> 00:10:00,913
It was the Windows logo!

198
00:10:01,038 --> 00:10:02,873
Pss. That's not scary!

199
00:10:02,956 --> 00:10:04,583
It is if you're a laser printer.

200
00:10:04,666 --> 00:10:06,835
Okay, my turn to tell a ghost story.

201
00:10:07,461 --> 00:10:09,713
Once there was this woman driving.

202
00:10:09,796 --> 00:10:10,797
Hook on the hand!

203
00:10:11,006 --> 00:10:13,759
Okay, I've got one. This family...

204
00:10:13,842 --> 00:10:14,843
Man in the attic!

205
00:10:14,927 --> 00:10:19,014
Fine! Mr. Know-It-All-About-Something,
finally! You tell a story.

206
00:10:19,181 --> 00:10:20,182
With pleasure.

207
00:10:20,933 --> 00:10:23,560
Once, not far from here,

208
00:10:23,644 --> 00:10:26,772
four people set out on a cattle drive.

209
00:10:26,855 --> 00:10:28,774
Robot gets bored
and kills Fry with a hammer!

210
00:10:29,316 --> 00:10:30,317
Sorry, go on.

211
00:10:30,901 --> 00:10:34,488
And then, while they sat helplessly
around the campfire,

212
00:10:34,571 --> 00:10:37,366
a demented, knife wielding,
escaped lunatic, libertarian,

213
00:10:37,449 --> 00:10:38,659
zombie, mutant snuck up and...

214
00:10:38,742 --> 00:10:39,868
AMY: Surprise!

215
00:10:39,993 --> 00:10:41,745
(ALL SCREAMING)

216
00:10:42,704 --> 00:10:44,790
Amy, what are you doing here?

217
00:10:44,873 --> 00:10:47,042
I forgot to give you something
before you left.

218
00:10:47,626 --> 00:10:48,627
What?

219
00:10:51,964 --> 00:10:55,968
Is that your camouflage reflex,
or are you just happy to see me?

220
00:10:57,344 --> 00:11:00,764
KIF: I love it out here, Amy.
I feel so manly.

221
00:11:01,098 --> 00:11:06,603
I have a blister, I spit, and of course,
I tell no one my feelings.

222
00:11:06,687 --> 00:11:08,188
But you still have them, right?

223
00:11:08,355 --> 00:11:12,651
Oh, yes. But I keep them inside
until I can write them in my diary.

224
00:11:12,776 --> 00:11:15,571
(SIGHS) It's a wonderful night.

225
00:11:15,654 --> 00:11:16,905
It sure is.

226
00:11:17,155 --> 00:11:20,826
I could just lie here beside you,
staring at the sky, all night.

227
00:11:20,909 --> 00:11:22,703
- I can't.
- Oh!

228
00:11:23,161 --> 00:11:25,289
BOTH: Mmm.

229
00:11:26,248 --> 00:11:28,083
(HOOFBEATS)

230
00:11:28,166 --> 00:11:29,418
What's that?

231
00:11:29,501 --> 00:11:30,836
Maybe we just made love.

232
00:11:35,841 --> 00:11:38,176
The Buggalo! They're in the crater!

233
00:11:38,302 --> 00:11:40,846
The rustlers must have seen me coming
and run off scared!

234
00:11:41,346 --> 00:11:43,515
Oh, Kiff. You're so brave!

235
00:11:43,599 --> 00:11:44,600
Shh! They'll hear us.

236
00:11:49,146 --> 00:11:51,064
Okay, the dynamite's in place.

237
00:11:51,356 --> 00:11:53,817
Are you sure there's no other way
to get the Buggalo out?

238
00:11:53,901 --> 00:11:57,487
Not unless your parents have thousands
of helicopters at their disposal.

239
00:11:57,571 --> 00:11:59,489
- Well, actually...
- Too late! This is more fun!

240
00:12:04,995 --> 00:12:06,788
Kiff, you did it!

241
00:12:07,039 --> 00:12:08,957
But how did you know
the dynamite would work?

242
00:12:09,041 --> 00:12:12,586
I once took a seminar in ejecting
chickens from a sand dune.

243
00:12:12,669 --> 00:12:14,546
The principle is essentially the same.

244
00:12:15,214 --> 00:12:16,840
(LOW-PITCHED HUM)

245
00:12:17,299 --> 00:12:19,927
Hey, it's that
"Barbecue's Over Sound" again!

246
00:12:22,888 --> 00:12:24,306
LEELA: Sandstorm!

247
00:12:25,682 --> 00:12:27,976
(ALL SCREAMING)

248
00:12:31,980 --> 00:12:33,941
(ALL GRUNTING)

249
00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:36,860
We're in the eye of the storm!

250
00:12:36,944 --> 00:12:37,945
Where?

251
00:12:38,111 --> 00:12:39,112
(BUZZING)

252
00:12:39,196 --> 00:12:40,239
What's that?

253
00:12:43,283 --> 00:12:44,743
- Oh, my gosh!
- Who are they?

254
00:12:45,827 --> 00:12:47,412
We are the Native Martians.

255
00:12:47,538 --> 00:12:48,539
(ALL GASPING)

256
00:12:49,998 --> 00:12:52,125
Also, I didn't know Buggalo could fly.

257
00:12:52,209 --> 00:12:55,087
Only those who revere
Mother Mars can fly Buggalo.

258
00:12:55,295 --> 00:12:58,048
And only they shall have Buggalo.
And they're us.

259
00:12:58,131 --> 00:13:02,469
But your Martian-ness,
these Buggalo aren't yours.

260
00:13:02,553 --> 00:13:04,596
They belong to the Wong family.

261
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:09,101
You mean family that took all Martian land
and gave us one lousy bead?

262
00:13:09,226 --> 00:13:11,645
Uh-huh. Amy Wong. And you are?

263
00:13:11,728 --> 00:13:13,105
Mad at Wong family!

264
00:13:13,188 --> 00:13:15,649
We plan to ruin them by stealing Buggalo.

265
00:13:15,732 --> 00:13:17,609
But now we take girl instead.

266
00:13:18,902 --> 00:13:21,738
Wait! I'm too rich to be kidnapped!

267
00:13:22,531 --> 00:13:25,284
Amy! No!

268
00:13:26,618 --> 00:13:27,619
(CRYING)

269
00:13:28,453 --> 00:13:29,913
Don't worry, Kiff.

270
00:13:29,997 --> 00:13:33,709
I'm sure some other beautiful,
rich girl will fall in love with you.

271
00:13:34,293 --> 00:13:35,752
(LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)

272
00:13:51,268 --> 00:13:53,687
Hooray! You bring back cattle!

273
00:13:53,770 --> 00:13:55,397
Yes. But...

274
00:13:55,647 --> 00:13:58,025
I'm afraid I've got some
bad news, as well.

275
00:13:58,108 --> 00:14:00,861
Let Amy tell us.
That way it soften the blow.

276
00:14:03,322 --> 00:14:04,907
Why Amy being so quiet?

277
00:14:05,157 --> 00:14:07,868
Um... Well... That is...

278
00:14:09,119 --> 00:14:11,788
(LOW-PITCHED HUM)

279
00:14:15,417 --> 00:14:17,794
Oh, no! Martians kidnap Amy!

280
00:14:18,962 --> 00:14:20,923
I know it them,
'cause they no use good grammar.

281
00:14:21,089 --> 00:14:23,592
I'll get your daughter back, sir.
I swear.

282
00:14:23,675 --> 00:14:24,676
Forget it, squishy.

283
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,221
You the one lose her in first place.
You done enough.

284
00:14:27,346 --> 00:14:31,683
Yeah! This time we get most decorated
lawman in the whole universe!

285
00:14:31,808 --> 00:14:32,809
You mean...

286
00:14:32,976 --> 00:14:35,187
No, please, I beg you.
For the love of...

287
00:14:35,270 --> 00:14:37,689
I am the man with no name.

288
00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:39,983
Zapp Brannigan, at your service.

289
00:14:40,067 --> 00:14:41,068
(SIGHS)

290
00:14:41,193 --> 00:14:44,947
Please, Mr. Brannigan,
we need you go get our daughter back!

291
00:14:45,030 --> 00:14:47,491
Very well. I'll clean up Kiff's mess.

292
00:14:47,574 --> 00:14:49,576
I shall go bargain
with the Martians personally.

293
00:14:49,785 --> 00:14:50,786
(ALL GASP)

294
00:14:50,869 --> 00:14:52,871
Your gasps intrigue me. Explain.

295
00:14:52,955 --> 00:14:54,581
Martians have no land.

296
00:14:54,665 --> 00:14:58,544
They been gently encouraged to live
on reservation deep underground.

297
00:14:58,627 --> 00:15:00,837
No one ever dare go there.

298
00:15:00,921 --> 00:15:02,965
This mission is incredibly dangerous!

299
00:15:03,048 --> 00:15:05,050
Someone's sure to be killed!

300
00:15:05,175 --> 00:15:07,177
Fry? Leela? Bender?

301
00:15:07,261 --> 00:15:09,221
Damn you, old man!

302
00:15:15,185 --> 00:15:18,021
Aw, look. Betsy followed you, Kiff.

303
00:15:19,690 --> 00:15:22,651
I didn't realize you were bringing
your girlfriend, Lieutenant.

304
00:15:23,318 --> 00:15:24,319
(SNIGGERS)

305
00:15:24,403 --> 00:15:26,738
Oh, she won't leave me alone.

306
00:15:26,822 --> 00:15:28,323
Did I say girlfriend?

307
00:15:28,407 --> 00:15:30,367
She sounds more like a wife.

308
00:15:40,127 --> 00:15:42,754
Behold! The Great Stone Face of Mars!

309
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:46,425
Hmm. The only known entrance
to the Martian Reservation.

310
00:15:46,508 --> 00:15:48,427
What about the Great Stone Ass of Mars?

311
00:15:48,594 --> 00:15:51,221
Well yeah, but it's way on the other side
of the planet.

312
00:15:55,893 --> 00:15:57,311
Noseward ho!

313
00:16:03,192 --> 00:16:05,360
(ALL MUMBLING)

314
00:16:07,529 --> 00:16:08,530
(ALL GASPING)

315
00:16:15,954 --> 00:16:20,250
I am Singing Wind.
Chief of the Martian tribe.

316
00:16:20,417 --> 00:16:21,710
Take me to your leader.

317
00:16:23,170 --> 00:16:26,173
Moving along.
Why you trespass on our land?

318
00:16:26,256 --> 00:16:28,675
We come to negotiate
the release of Amy Wong.

319
00:16:28,759 --> 00:16:33,055
And just to clarify,
land is the stuff that has sky over it.

320
00:16:38,018 --> 00:16:40,020
They have such respect for the planet.

321
00:16:40,938 --> 00:16:42,564
Cynthia used to drink Slurm.

322
00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:47,569
We will give back girl
when we get back planet surface.

323
00:16:47,653 --> 00:16:49,363
How do we even know she's alive?

324
00:16:49,446 --> 00:16:50,531
I'm fine.

325
00:16:50,614 --> 00:16:52,324
Shh. You're weakening
our bargaining position.

326
00:16:52,449 --> 00:16:54,493
How about, instead, you give us the girl

327
00:16:54,576 --> 00:16:57,538
and we carve a bunch of our Presidents
into your sacred mountain?

328
00:16:57,621 --> 00:16:58,747
You waste words.

329
00:16:58,830 --> 00:17:01,375
We want return of land
that was taken from us.

330
00:17:01,458 --> 00:17:03,794
Actually, you traded it for a bead.

331
00:17:03,877 --> 00:17:06,505
Tribe suffer heap big buyer's remorse.

332
00:17:06,588 --> 00:17:07,631
We want land back!

333
00:17:07,923 --> 00:17:11,051
Chief, my people are people of law.
And that law is

334
00:17:11,134 --> 00:17:12,511
no backsies.

335
00:17:13,095 --> 00:17:15,472
The time for stupid statements is over.

336
00:17:15,847 --> 00:17:16,848
(BLOWING NOTE)

337
00:17:17,057 --> 00:17:19,476
(LOW-PITCHED HUMMING)

338
00:17:20,352 --> 00:17:21,645
Oh, boy.

339
00:17:29,528 --> 00:17:31,572
Ow, ow, ow, ow.

340
00:17:31,947 --> 00:17:33,240
My eye!

341
00:17:33,866 --> 00:17:35,951
(HUM CONTINUES)

342
00:17:43,083 --> 00:17:46,211
Ma! Pa! Our precious ranch!

343
00:17:47,796 --> 00:17:49,464
(GROANING)

344
00:17:58,599 --> 00:17:59,600
(AMY SHRIEKING)

345
00:18:00,267 --> 00:18:02,936
Amy! No! It's too windy!

346
00:18:06,982 --> 00:18:08,692
(SHRIEKING)

347
00:18:09,276 --> 00:18:11,528
KIF: Stay calm, dearest! I'll save you!

348
00:18:13,113 --> 00:18:16,658
Kiff! You're flying Betsy

349
00:18:16,909 --> 00:18:17,993
Need a lift?

350
00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:20,370
(GROANING)

351
00:18:20,996 --> 00:18:23,832
Great Mother Mars. He has the gift.

352
00:18:26,501 --> 00:18:27,586
(HUMMING STOPS)

353
00:18:30,547 --> 00:18:31,924
- Yay, Kiff!
- All right!

354
00:18:32,007 --> 00:18:35,719
Kroker, that was one
Brannigan-esque feat of heroism.

355
00:18:35,886 --> 00:18:37,930
We have misjudged you, green one.

356
00:18:38,013 --> 00:18:39,681
You fly the Buggalo like us.

357
00:18:40,015 --> 00:18:44,561
You have true reverence for Mother Mars.
Let there be peace between us.

358
00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:47,064
Yes. Let us smoke-em peace pipe.

359
00:18:47,439 --> 00:18:48,524
Smoke-em?

360
00:18:52,528 --> 00:18:53,612
Here, take.

361
00:18:53,862 --> 00:18:56,615
No thanks. I'm on the peace patch.

362
00:18:56,740 --> 00:18:59,493
You must smoke peace pipe,
and you must do it peacefully.

363
00:18:59,576 --> 00:19:00,577
Or we'll kill you.

364
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:03,705
Well, it's just really
that I don't feel that...

365
00:19:03,789 --> 00:19:05,374
Don't be such a chicken, Kiff.

366
00:19:05,457 --> 00:19:08,502
Teenagers all smoke,
and they seem pretty on the ball.

367
00:19:14,049 --> 00:19:16,260
- Yeah!
- Way to suck it!

368
00:19:16,343 --> 00:19:18,637
Hey, I'm smoking!

369
00:19:19,096 --> 00:19:20,305
I'm the greatest!

370
00:19:22,975 --> 00:19:25,602
(COUGHING)

371
00:19:26,436 --> 00:19:27,896
Oh, monkey trumpets.

372
00:19:30,107 --> 00:19:32,442
You have coughed at our offer of peace.

373
00:19:32,526 --> 00:19:33,819
So you must die.

374
00:19:33,902 --> 00:19:38,615
The very bead used to crush our dreams
shall be used to crush your bones.

375
00:19:38,740 --> 00:19:40,784
Well actually, I don't have bones.

376
00:19:41,076 --> 00:19:44,746
I'm supported by a system
of fluid-filled bladders that... (YELPS)

377
00:19:49,001 --> 00:19:52,045
FRY: Wait, that's the bead
you traded your land for?

378
00:19:52,129 --> 00:19:53,839
It's a gigantic diamond!

379
00:19:53,922 --> 00:19:55,674
That thing must be worth a fortune!

380
00:19:55,757 --> 00:19:56,758
Really?

381
00:19:58,010 --> 00:19:59,344
Oh, phew!

382
00:20:05,601 --> 00:20:09,771
Oh, Chief, you've made me
the happiest girl in the world!

383
00:20:10,856 --> 00:20:14,234
You know, if you still want your land,
we could just trade back for it.

384
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:16,945
Hmm. We always thought bead was worthless.

385
00:20:17,237 --> 00:20:19,239
We assumed our ancestors were cheated

386
00:20:19,323 --> 00:20:21,450
because they not
have concept of ownership.

387
00:20:21,533 --> 00:20:22,784
So we can have the diamond?

388
00:20:22,868 --> 00:20:25,621
No. We do have concept of ownership.

389
00:20:27,372 --> 00:20:28,498
You are free to go.

390
00:20:28,832 --> 00:20:30,918
Sorry about all the rustling
and kidnapping.

391
00:20:31,001 --> 00:20:32,711
But what about your sacred land?

392
00:20:32,794 --> 00:20:35,756
Land, schmand!
We don't want to live on this planet.

393
00:20:35,839 --> 00:20:39,134
It's a dump. We'll buy new planet,
and act like it's sacred.

394
00:20:39,384 --> 00:20:42,804
With cash like this, who's going to argue?
Nobody, that's who.

395
00:20:50,854 --> 00:20:53,982
Then Kiff flew Betsy,
rescued me from the tornado,

396
00:20:54,066 --> 00:20:55,859
and made peace with the Martians.

397
00:20:56,026 --> 00:20:57,945
Please, he too much of a wimp.

398
00:20:58,028 --> 00:21:01,615
Yeah. I'm sure it was all
Mr. Zapp Brannigan here.

399
00:21:01,698 --> 00:21:04,117
Please, you give me too little credit.

400
00:21:04,201 --> 00:21:05,202
(SIGHS)

401
00:21:05,285 --> 00:21:09,248
Captain Brannigan, you're always welcome
here at Rancho Zoidberg.

402
00:21:10,582 --> 00:21:11,583
(GRUNTS)

403
00:21:11,959 --> 00:21:15,170
(EXCLAIMS) Money doesn't make good people.
No, siree!

404
00:21:20,008 --> 00:21:21,760
Thanks for saving my life, Kiff.

405
00:21:22,386 --> 00:21:23,512
You're my hero.

406
00:21:23,595 --> 00:21:25,222
Oh, you're kind.

407
00:21:25,597 --> 00:21:27,808
But your parents still don't like me.

408
00:21:27,975 --> 00:21:29,309
Well, gloviously.

409
00:21:29,434 --> 00:21:31,770
But if they liked you, then I wouldn't.

410
00:21:32,396 --> 00:21:34,022
Don't you know anything about girls?

411
00:21:36,775 --> 00:21:39,820
(LOUD HOOFBEATS)

412
00:21:45,951 --> 00:21:50,372
"Dear Diary.
I just made love for the second time."

413
00:21:57,170 --> 00:21:59,172
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)