1
00:00:05,030 --> 00:00:07,032
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:34,184 --> 00:00:37,062
(HUMMING)

3
00:00:41,066 --> 00:00:43,902
- (EXPLOSION)
- (SCREAMING)

4
00:00:44,027 --> 00:00:47,030
- (ALARM WHOOPING)
- LEELA: (GASPING) Space pirates!

5
00:00:47,155 --> 00:00:51,827
- Space pirates?
- You know, pirates! But in space!

6
00:00:58,834 --> 00:01:00,711
(SCREAMING, GASPING)

7
00:01:00,836 --> 00:01:05,424
Avast, mateys! Electronically
transfer your space doubloons

8
00:01:05,549 --> 00:01:09,845
afore I send thee to
Davy Jarg's locker.

9
00:01:10,929 --> 00:01:13,348
- (SNORING)
- (BANGING)

10
00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:15,809
(GROWLING)
Hey! Keep it down, you kids!

11
00:01:15,934 --> 00:01:18,020
I'm tryin' to take a nap!

12
00:01:26,945 --> 00:01:30,157
- FRY: Come on. Come on!
- (ELECTRONIC BEEPING)

13
00:01:30,282 --> 00:01:31,908
(VIDEO GAME WARBLING)

14
00:01:34,202 --> 00:01:37,205
(GRUMBLING) Make Bender
take a nap in a tube!

15
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:44,046
Come back when I've had
some sleep, baby.

16
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:48,467
(ELECTRONIC TWEETING,
CANNONS BOOMING)

17
00:01:51,053 --> 00:01:54,556
Fry to battle stations!
Fire torpedo number three!

18
00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:56,600
Firing torpedo number three.

19
00:01:59,895 --> 00:02:03,857
- (BANGING, WHIRRING)
- (WHIMPERING)

20
00:02:03,982 --> 00:02:06,568
(SCREAMING)

21
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:10,030
That's not torpedo three!
That's not torpedo three at all.

22
00:02:10,155 --> 00:02:12,783
Damn you, Fry and Lee...

23
00:02:12,908 --> 00:02:16,828
La!
(SCREAMING)

24
00:02:16,953 --> 00:02:20,999
Too late I realize that
me children are me only real treasures.

25
00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:28,090
Help!
Mechanical man overboard!

26
00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:30,008
Go after him, Leela!

27
00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:35,222
It's no use. We were going
full speed when we fired him.

28
00:02:35,347 --> 00:02:37,224
So he's going even
faster than that!

29
00:02:37,349 --> 00:02:39,226
You mean, we can
never catch up to him?

30
00:02:39,351 --> 00:02:41,520
Not even if we rub the engine
with cheetah blood?

31
00:02:41,645 --> 00:02:44,022
I don't know how
to say this, Fry.

32
00:02:44,147 --> 00:02:47,985
But Bender is doomed
to drift through space. Forever.

33
00:02:50,487 --> 00:02:54,116
(SNIFFLING) He always wanted
to drift forever.

34
00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:57,077
But through
the American Southwest!

35
00:02:57,202 --> 00:02:59,913
I'm going too fast!
I've got to lose momentum!

36
00:03:01,957 --> 00:03:04,001
(GRUNTING)

37
00:03:04,126 --> 00:03:07,170
Wh... Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

38
00:03:07,295 --> 00:03:09,339
(GRUNTING)

39
00:03:10,841 --> 00:03:15,429
Aw, I'm gonna spend eternity
alone, with barely any swag!

40
00:03:16,346 --> 00:03:18,473
Ooh!

41
00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:22,144
Hey, universe! Check out
the dude with the Rolex!

42
00:03:23,478 --> 00:03:25,439
Wow! Ostentatious.

43
00:03:26,565 --> 00:03:29,192
Except, what good is
a candelabra without...

44
00:03:29,318 --> 00:03:31,028
Wait! I know!

45
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,490
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

46
00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:41,538
Ah, the pity! Fated to drift forever
through the void as gravity's plaything.

47
00:03:41,663 --> 00:03:45,167
Oh, cruel fate,
to be thusly boned!

48
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,586
Ask not for whom the bone bones,

49
00:03:47,711 --> 00:03:50,213
it bones for thee!

50
00:03:50,339 --> 00:03:54,009
- (MUSIC CONTINUES)
- The only thing that keeps me sane

51
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,511
is the thought that
I have all eternity

52
00:03:56,636 --> 00:03:59,222
in which to perfect my art.

53
00:03:59,348 --> 00:04:01,058
- (DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYING)
- Ow!

54
00:04:01,183 --> 00:04:03,060
(MELODIC, THEN DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYING)

55
00:04:03,185 --> 00:04:05,687
Aah! Damn you!

56
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:08,899
Doh!
(GRUNTS, GROANS)

57
00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:14,571
(METALLIC CLICKING)

58
00:04:15,697 --> 00:04:19,743
(GRUNTING)
There!

59
00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:21,787
Now, when I'm found
in a million years,

60
00:04:21,912 --> 00:04:23,955
people will know
what the score was.

61
00:04:24,081 --> 00:04:25,374
- (CLANKING)
- Aah! Ooh, they...

62
00:04:25,457 --> 00:04:27,209
Hey! What's bombarding me?

63
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:29,753
Ooh! Gee! Ow!
Oh, no!

64
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:32,964
An asteroid field!
If even a pea-sized asteroid

65
00:04:33,090 --> 00:04:35,175
were to whiz
through my skull it could... Ow...

66
00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:41,181
Hurt slightly.
(GRUNTING)

67
00:04:41,306 --> 00:04:45,143
Well, that was fun.
Now, for eons of loneliness.

68
00:04:47,396 --> 00:04:49,022
- (SMALL VOICES CHATTERING)
- Huh?

69
00:04:52,776 --> 00:04:54,111
(SERVO MOTOR BUZZING)

70
00:04:57,155 --> 00:05:01,952
Fellow Shrimpkins, behold him that hath
taken us unto his breast!

71
00:05:02,077 --> 00:05:05,330
- (GASPING, CHATTERING)
- Holy frijoles!

72
00:05:05,455 --> 00:05:09,626
All bow before
the great Metal Lord!

73
00:05:11,753 --> 00:05:16,049
BENDER: Worshippers? This oughta liven
up my endless, tragic voyage!

74
00:05:16,174 --> 00:05:19,761
(LAUGHING FIENDISHLY)

75
00:05:23,765 --> 00:05:28,228
- All hail the Metal Lord!
- So hailed!

76
00:05:28,353 --> 00:05:32,065
Mm. Those peewees
think I'm God, huh? Hard to blame 'em.

77
00:05:32,190 --> 00:05:35,777
(WHIMPERING, CRYING)

78
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:38,155
I am the Metal Lord.
Who are you?

79
00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:40,157
I am called Malachi, Lord.

80
00:05:40,282 --> 00:05:43,702
It means, um,
"He who really loves the Metal Lord."

81
00:05:43,827 --> 00:05:48,290
Listen here, Malachi.
Time for a religious donation.

82
00:05:48,415 --> 00:05:52,252
- Hand over your wallet!
- But Lord, we are a poor and simple folk.

83
00:05:52,377 --> 00:05:55,047
Poor? Aw, crap.

84
00:05:56,048 --> 00:05:59,176
(SERVOS BUZZING)

85
00:05:59,301 --> 00:06:03,305
MALACHI: Pity me not, for I am richened
by the love of my family.

86
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:05,891
What art thou doing,
Malachi Jr.?

87
00:06:06,016 --> 00:06:09,311
I'm practicing to hug Daddy
when he gets back from God.

88
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:11,313
Mm. Mm!

89
00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:15,317
Ugh! Gag unto me
with a spoon.

90
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:18,445
Malachi? It's high time
I laid down a few commandments.

91
00:06:18,570 --> 00:06:21,948
You got a chisel?
Take this down. (CLEARS THROAT)

92
00:06:22,074 --> 00:06:26,536
- Number one...
- Behold, the one commandment.

93
00:06:26,662 --> 00:06:28,413
BENDER:
Make it a double!

94
00:06:28,538 --> 00:06:31,833
- (LOUD SNIFFING)
- Can you find him, professor?

95
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:35,921
No! I'm afraid
the smell-a-scope isn't powerful enough.

96
00:06:36,046 --> 00:06:40,634
Bender's odor is so mild,
it's being overpowered by local sources.

97
00:06:42,386 --> 00:06:45,222
Hooray! People are
paying attention to me.

98
00:06:51,687 --> 00:06:54,147
Fry? We brought someone
to cheer you up.

99
00:06:54,272 --> 00:06:57,859
His name is Helper,
and he's eager to be your new best friend.

100
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:01,488
Hello there, chum!
I understand you miss your buddy.

101
00:07:01,613 --> 00:07:03,532
- Have a pudding pop!
- No thanks. I don't...

102
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:07,160
- Who wants to go to an amusement park?
- Well, I guess that sounds okay.

103
00:07:07,285 --> 00:07:10,163
Have a good time.
Hey, I heard your friend Bender is back.

104
00:07:10,288 --> 00:07:11,456
What? Really?

105
00:07:11,540 --> 00:07:13,792
No. I just thought you would
enjoy that for a moment.

106
00:07:13,917 --> 00:07:15,794
(GEARS RATTLING,
SPRINGS SNAPPING)

107
00:07:15,919 --> 00:07:19,756
(STRAUSS' THUS SPAKE ZARATHUSTRA PLAYING)

108
00:07:30,225 --> 00:07:32,519
- (DRIPPING)
- (GAGGING)

109
00:07:32,644 --> 00:07:36,148
Whoo! Microbrewed.
My guys did all right.

110
00:07:36,273 --> 00:07:39,109
I think I'll make my countenance
to shine down upon them.

111
00:07:39,234 --> 00:07:41,028
(STRAINING)

112
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:47,409
Malachi, good work! There's no slowin'
down with the Metal Lord tonight!

113
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:49,703
Yes, tonight is
kind of special.

114
00:07:49,828 --> 00:07:52,831
Wait a second. Did you rip off
your own arm as a joke?

115
00:07:52,956 --> 00:07:55,334
Nay. Like most
of your followers,

116
00:07:55,459 --> 00:07:58,420
I was maimed building
the great brewery.

117
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:00,797
(MOANING)

118
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:04,176
Others died from the pestilent fumes
it spewed forth.

119
00:08:04,301 --> 00:08:07,763
And, of course, the liquor industry
attracted organized crime.

120
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:10,349
- (CARS APPROACHING)
- (GASPS)

121
00:08:10,474 --> 00:08:12,017
(MACHINE GUNS FIRING)

122
00:08:17,522 --> 00:08:20,525
Aw, it's all my fault!

123
00:08:20,651 --> 00:08:22,653
Malachi, tell thy people

124
00:08:22,778 --> 00:08:27,658
that the Lord is moved
by their plight. (SOBS)

125
00:08:28,950 --> 00:08:31,620
(SCREAMING)

126
00:08:38,377 --> 00:08:42,089
(SCREAMS)

127
00:08:43,632 --> 00:08:45,634
- (GRUNTING)
- ALL: Ooh!

128
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:48,470
Malachi, Jr.!
No!

129
00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:51,473
Daddy? I can't hold
much longer.

130
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:53,975
My arms are tired
from hugging.

131
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:57,437
Save him! Save my son,
oh, Metal Lord!

132
00:08:57,562 --> 00:09:00,357
This looks like
a job for God.

133
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,448
(GASPING, CHATTERING)

134
00:09:08,573 --> 00:09:13,537
What the... Malachi, what manner of deal
is this, with the chanting?

135
00:09:13,662 --> 00:09:15,539
They saw you save my son.

136
00:09:15,664 --> 00:09:17,874
Now, everyone is praying
for their own miracles.

137
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,794
(SIGHS)
Very well. What do they want?

138
00:09:20,919 --> 00:09:23,463
The people of that village
pray for wealth.

139
00:09:23,588 --> 00:09:25,465
(HINGE CREAKING)

140
00:09:29,094 --> 00:09:32,222
(VILLAGERS SCREAMING)

141
00:09:32,347 --> 00:09:34,933
(UNEASY MUTTERING)

142
00:09:35,058 --> 00:09:38,353
(NERVOUS CHUCKLING)
That was a... Practice miracle.

143
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:40,522
- Who's next?
- (PRAYING, BESEECHING)

144
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,482
MALACHI: The farmers pray for sunlight,

145
00:09:42,566 --> 00:09:44,735
so their barley might make
a more refreshing beer

146
00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:46,737
for today's
God on the go.

147
00:09:46,862 --> 00:09:50,490
Very well.
Let there be light!

148
00:09:50,615 --> 00:09:53,327
(HEAVY DOORS SLAMMING)

149
00:09:53,452 --> 00:09:56,496
(ALL CHEERING)

150
00:09:56,621 --> 00:09:58,498
(SCREAMING IN PAIN)

151
00:09:58,623 --> 00:10:01,251
- (CRYING)
- I got it! I got it!

152
00:10:01,376 --> 00:10:04,921
- (WIND ROARING)
- (SCREAMING)

153
00:10:05,047 --> 00:10:10,594
Um, when you're writin' the Bible,
you might want to omit that last miracle.

154
00:10:14,389 --> 00:10:17,893
(SIGHS)
He decided not to let go.

155
00:10:23,065 --> 00:10:24,941
I can't believe
you're gone.

156
00:10:25,067 --> 00:10:27,569
I won't! If I can't
reach you physically,

157
00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:29,571
I'll just have
to try something desperate and crazy.

158
00:10:30,947 --> 00:10:32,991
(CHOIR SINGING)

159
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:38,330
So that's my story,
Father Changstein El-Gamahl.

160
00:10:38,455 --> 00:10:41,416
Is there anything
religion can do to help me find my friend?

161
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:44,127
Well, we could join
together in prayer.

162
00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:46,922
Uh-huh.
But is there anything useful we can do?

163
00:10:47,005 --> 00:10:48,131
-No.

164
00:10:48,256 --> 00:10:51,927
Sure, I hold séance,
channel your friend. No problem.

165
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,970
- Insert coin.
- (JINGLING)

166
00:10:55,347 --> 00:10:57,516
(MOANING)

167
00:10:57,641 --> 00:11:00,477
(SPEAKING ROBOTICALLY)
I am your friend... Bonder.

168
00:11:00,602 --> 00:11:02,437
Bonder?
Is it really you?

169
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:06,525
Yes. I am fine.
Give the gypsy ten dollars.

170
00:11:06,650 --> 00:11:09,528
Wait a minute.
Bender's name isn't Bonder!

171
00:11:09,653 --> 00:11:11,321
It's Bender!
You're a fraud!

172
00:11:11,446 --> 00:11:13,907
Look, you want
false hope or not?

173
00:11:14,032 --> 00:11:15,617
Only if you don't have
any real hope.

174
00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:19,162
Well, there is
perhaps one way.

175
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:21,540
Have you heard of
the Monks of Deshuba?

176
00:11:21,665 --> 00:11:25,335
- I've not heard of them.
- They are an ancient order

177
00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:29,548
that believes God
exists somewhere in the depths of space.

178
00:11:29,673 --> 00:11:32,801
They have built the universe's
most powerful radio telescope,

179
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:35,554
high in the Himalayas,
to search for him.

180
00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:37,639
You think they'd let me use it
to look for Bender?

181
00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:40,726
What am I, psychic?
I mean... Yes!

182
00:11:40,851 --> 00:11:42,769
Yes, I'm... I'm sure
they will. Yes.

183
00:11:42,894 --> 00:11:48,525
(STRAUSS' BLUE DANUBE PLAYING)

184
00:11:57,993 --> 00:12:01,496
MALACHI:
Oh, Metal Lord, hear my prayer!

185
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:05,083
Ugh. Yes, Malachi,
what is it this time?

186
00:12:05,208 --> 00:12:08,962
My Lord, the infidels
on your back no longer believe in you.

187
00:12:09,087 --> 00:12:11,631
They say their prayers
go unheeded.

188
00:12:11,757 --> 00:12:13,216
Of course they're unheeded.

189
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:15,802
How am I supposed to hear prayers
coming out of my ass?

190
00:12:15,927 --> 00:12:18,889
They talk of war
against the faithful.

191
00:12:19,014 --> 00:12:21,683
I beseech thee.
Rise up against them.

192
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:24,269
Smite someone
who deserves it for once.

193
00:12:24,394 --> 00:12:28,774
(SIGHS) Malachi, every time I interfere,
I only make things worse.

194
00:12:28,899 --> 00:12:31,318
You're best off
solving your own problems.

195
00:12:31,443 --> 00:12:33,362
But... But Metal Lord...

196
00:12:33,445 --> 00:12:37,199
What part of "nay"
"doethn't" thou understand?

197
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:42,496
Sir, I'm outfitting an expedition to
a monastery high in the Himalayas.

198
00:12:42,621 --> 00:12:44,498
I'll need
a long-sleeved coat.

199
00:12:44,623 --> 00:12:47,668
Look, I miss Bender almost
half as much as you do,

200
00:12:47,793 --> 00:12:49,670
but you can't
bring him back this way.

201
00:12:49,795 --> 00:12:50,921
It's hopeless.

202
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:53,131
You can't give up hope just because
it's hopeless.

203
00:12:53,256 --> 00:12:54,549
You gotta hope even more.

204
00:12:54,633 --> 00:12:57,052
And cover your ears and go,
"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

205
00:12:57,135 --> 00:12:59,930
"Blah, blah, blah."
(SHOUTING) I'd also like a pack mule!

206
00:13:00,055 --> 00:13:01,932
(SHOUTING)
At once, sir!

207
00:13:02,891 --> 00:13:04,685
(BRAYING)

208
00:13:04,810 --> 00:13:07,688
Well, you obviously
won't listen to reason.

209
00:13:07,813 --> 00:13:10,649
So I guess I'll listen
to idiotic-ness and come with you.

210
00:13:10,774 --> 00:13:14,236
- But we'll need a Sherpa to guide us.
- (MAN CRYING OUT)

211
00:13:18,573 --> 00:13:22,577
Now that's one Bible
that doesn't disappoint on every page.

212
00:13:22,703 --> 00:13:26,081
Looks like society's
runnin' pretty well without my meddling...

213
00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:28,500
- (ENGINES ROARING)
- D... Doh!

214
00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:35,966
Atomic bombs? Oh, no!
Those unbelievers from my backside

215
00:13:36,091 --> 00:13:39,302
- must have found my nuclear pile!
- Fear not, my Lord.

216
00:13:39,428 --> 00:13:42,389
- We shall be with you soon!
- You're with me now!

217
00:13:42,514 --> 00:13:44,683
This is the maximum level
of being with me.

218
00:13:44,808 --> 00:13:48,061
We will solve our own
problems as you commanded.

219
00:13:48,186 --> 00:13:51,064
The time has come
to convert the unbelievers!

220
00:13:51,189 --> 00:13:53,859
- Convert them?
- To radioactive vapor!

221
00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:02,784
Aah! Hey... Aah!

222
00:14:04,828 --> 00:14:07,706
Look, Daddy.
I'm hugging God.

223
00:14:07,831 --> 00:14:09,708
Mm. Mm.

224
00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:11,710
Maybe if I hug him
real hard,

225
00:14:11,835 --> 00:14:13,920
he'll save us from...

226
00:14:14,796 --> 00:14:16,882
(SCREAMING)

227
00:14:17,007 --> 00:14:19,343
Oh, it tickles!
(LAUGHING)

228
00:14:19,468 --> 00:14:22,888
Oh, uh...
(CONTINUES LAUGHING) Aw, oh.

229
00:14:27,559 --> 00:14:30,020
BENDER:
Hello? Is anyone still alive?

230
00:14:30,145 --> 00:14:33,357
How 'bout
in the porno theater?

231
00:14:33,482 --> 00:14:38,528
Don't be embarrassed.
(GASPS) They're dead.

232
00:14:38,654 --> 00:14:42,199
All dead! Who would
have known playing God

233
00:14:42,324 --> 00:14:44,701
could have such
terrible consequences?

234
00:14:44,826 --> 00:14:49,247
(SOBBING)

235
00:14:49,373 --> 00:14:52,459
- (WIND ROARING)
- (BRAYING)

236
00:14:52,584 --> 00:14:55,253
Fry! If I drop dead
from exhaustion,

237
00:14:55,379 --> 00:14:58,548
make sure my body freezes
in a dignified position!

238
00:14:58,674 --> 00:15:01,051
None of that "huddled over
for warmth" crap.

239
00:15:01,176 --> 00:15:04,179
(GRUNTING, PANTING)

240
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:06,181
- (GASPING)
- Behold!

241
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:08,809
The Monastery of Deshuba.

242
00:15:08,934 --> 00:15:12,688
I must leave you now,
for I am not holy enough to enter.

243
00:15:12,813 --> 00:15:14,606
Okay.
(BELCHES, SPITS)

244
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:22,656
Looks rickety.
We better test it.

245
00:15:23,657 --> 00:15:25,784
- (SLAPS)
- (BRAYS)

246
00:15:27,911 --> 00:15:29,871
(MOTOR HUMMING)

247
00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:32,082
WOMAN'S RECORDED VOICE:
Welcome to our monastery.

248
00:15:32,207 --> 00:15:35,752
Please stand to one side
to let faster pilgrims by.

249
00:15:35,877 --> 00:15:38,046
(TAPPING)

250
00:15:39,881 --> 00:15:42,467
(CRYING)

251
00:15:44,845 --> 00:15:48,181
- (BEEPING)
- (CRYING STOPS)

252
00:15:48,306 --> 00:15:52,019
Hey! That galaxy's
signaling in binary!

253
00:15:52,144 --> 00:15:53,770
I gotta signal back!

254
00:15:53,854 --> 00:15:56,940
But I only know enough binary
to ask where the bathroom is.

255
00:15:57,065 --> 00:16:00,027
- You speak English?
- (DEEP, MALE VOICE) I do now.

256
00:16:00,152 --> 00:16:02,654
Whoa-whoa, whoa!

257
00:16:02,779 --> 00:16:06,658
(WHIMPERING)
Oh.

258
00:16:06,783 --> 00:16:09,036
What are you?
Some kind of galactic computer?

259
00:16:09,161 --> 00:16:13,248
Possible.
I am user-friendly, my good chum.

260
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:16,460
- Who built you?
- I have always been.

261
00:16:16,585 --> 00:16:20,297
Oh, my God!
Are you... God?

262
00:16:20,422 --> 00:16:24,009
Possible. I do
feel compassion for all living things,

263
00:16:24,134 --> 00:16:28,722
- my good chum.
- But why would God think in binary?

264
00:16:28,847 --> 00:16:31,350
Unless... You're not God,

265
00:16:31,475 --> 00:16:34,353
but the remains of
a computerized space probe

266
00:16:34,478 --> 00:16:37,898
- that collided with God!
- That seems probable.

267
00:16:38,023 --> 00:16:41,068
(MOTOR GRINDING)

268
00:16:41,193 --> 00:16:43,445
- (ELECTRONIC TWITTERING)
- A member of our brotherhood

269
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:46,448
sits at these controls
every hour of every day,

270
00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:48,450
scanning the heavens
for God.

271
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:51,036
- (BUZZING)
- There he is!

272
00:16:51,161 --> 00:16:53,038
No. No, wait. No.

273
00:16:53,163 --> 00:16:56,917
- How long have you been at it?
- 700 years.

274
00:16:57,042 --> 00:17:00,253
We've not yet examined
one ten-millionth of the sky.

275
00:17:00,379 --> 00:17:02,798
But we will go on until
we find the Almighty.

276
00:17:02,923 --> 00:17:04,800
Even if it takes
to the end of time.

277
00:17:04,925 --> 00:17:08,512
- And then what?
- Then, we utter unto him a short prayer.

278
00:17:08,637 --> 00:17:12,057
You see, the telescope is
also an amplifying transmitter.

279
00:17:12,182 --> 00:17:14,393
Sorta like a giant
karaoke machine?

280
00:17:14,518 --> 00:17:17,396
Not really. Would you like to see
our giant karaoke machine?

281
00:17:17,521 --> 00:17:20,023
Not really.

282
00:17:20,148 --> 00:17:23,026
Mm. Finding God,
that's important, yeah.

283
00:17:23,151 --> 00:17:25,028
But you know what might be
a treat for everyone?

284
00:17:25,153 --> 00:17:27,614
If you let me use the telescope
to find my lost friend, Bender.

285
00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:29,491
I... I don't know
what to say.

286
00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:31,702
Other than,
"Absolutely not."

287
00:17:31,827 --> 00:17:33,870
Your loss is a tragedy,
but our work...

288
00:17:33,996 --> 00:17:36,289
Ah! Come on!
You guys have forever to look for God.

289
00:17:36,415 --> 00:17:39,960
All I'm asking is
one measly lifetime to find my friend!

290
00:17:40,085 --> 00:17:42,379
He speaks out of love
for his friend.

291
00:17:42,504 --> 00:17:45,173
Perhaps that love
in his heart... Is God.

292
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:48,385
Oh, how convenient.
A theory about God

293
00:17:48,510 --> 00:17:50,721
that doesn't
require looking through a telescope.

294
00:17:50,846 --> 00:17:52,431
Get back to work!

295
00:17:52,514 --> 00:17:54,599
That telescope is as much mine
as anybody's.

296
00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:56,935
I'm using it whether you
give me permission or not.

297
00:17:57,060 --> 00:17:59,563
(KARATE YELLS)

298
00:17:59,688 --> 00:18:03,316
Hy-ahh! Your order may be
famous for your martial arts,

299
00:18:03,442 --> 00:18:05,944
but I've never met a holy man
I couldn't clobber!

300
00:18:06,069 --> 00:18:09,948
Actually, we only practice martial arts
as a form of meditation.

301
00:18:10,073 --> 00:18:11,950
We are a strictly
nonviolent sect.

302
00:18:12,075 --> 00:18:15,787
Oh. Then get in the laundry room,
or I'll kick your butts!

303
00:18:17,873 --> 00:18:21,335
Oh, this is the worst
crazy sect I've ever been in.

304
00:18:23,045 --> 00:18:25,589
BENDER: So, do you know what I'm gonna do
before I do it?

305
00:18:25,714 --> 00:18:28,342
- Yes.
- What if I do something different?

306
00:18:28,467 --> 00:18:31,803
- Then I don't know that.
- Cool! Cool.

307
00:18:31,928 --> 00:18:33,805
I bet a lot of people
pray to you, huh?

308
00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:37,225
(SIGHS) Yes, but there
are so many, asking so much.

309
00:18:37,351 --> 00:18:40,020
After a while, you just
sort of tune it out.

310
00:18:40,145 --> 00:18:43,648
- You know, I was God once.
- Yes, I saw.

311
00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:46,026
You were doing well
until everyone died.

312
00:18:46,151 --> 00:18:48,820
It was awful.
I tried helping them.

313
00:18:48,945 --> 00:18:53,492
I tried not helping them. But in the end,
I couldn't do them any good.

314
00:18:53,617 --> 00:18:55,577
Do you think
what I did was wrong?

315
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:59,623
Right and wrong are just words.
What matters is what you do.

316
00:18:59,748 --> 00:19:03,043
Yeah, I know. That's why
I asked if what I did...

317
00:19:03,168 --> 00:19:07,047
- Oh, forget it!
- Bender, being God isn't easy.

318
00:19:07,172 --> 00:19:10,008
If you do too much,
people get dependent on you.

319
00:19:10,133 --> 00:19:12,469
And if you do nothing,
they lose hope.

320
00:19:12,594 --> 00:19:14,471
You have to use
a light touch,

321
00:19:14,596 --> 00:19:16,890
like a safecracker,
or a pickpocket.

322
00:19:17,015 --> 00:19:19,476
Or a guy who burns down
a bar for the insurance money!

323
00:19:19,601 --> 00:19:22,604
Yes, if you make it look
like an electrical thing.

324
00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:28,276
When you do things right, people
won't be sure you've done anything at all.

325
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:32,155
Does that mean you wouldn't
send me back to Earth?

326
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,742
- Even if I prayed to you?
- Earth? Which way is that?

327
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,746
I don't know.

328
00:19:39,871 --> 00:19:42,416
FRY:
Bender? Bender!

329
00:19:42,541 --> 00:19:44,501
- (POUNDING)
- MONK: Let us out!

330
00:19:44,626 --> 00:19:47,004
We cooked our shoes
in the dryer and ate them!

331
00:19:47,129 --> 00:19:49,006
Now we're bored!

332
00:19:49,131 --> 00:19:51,008
(BEEPING, BUZZING)

333
00:19:51,133 --> 00:19:53,760
Hello? Has anyone out there
seen Bender?

334
00:19:53,885 --> 00:19:56,096
(GRUFF VOICE)
No! Quit asking!

335
00:19:56,221 --> 00:19:58,223
Fry, it's been three days.

336
00:19:58,348 --> 00:20:00,434
And even if you stay here
the rest of your life,

337
00:20:00,559 --> 00:20:03,645
there is virtually
no chance of finding him.

338
00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:07,232
- It's time to give up.
- (SIGHS) You're right.

339
00:20:07,357 --> 00:20:10,152
I'm never gonna see him again.
(SNIFFLES)

340
00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:12,154
I know he was evil.

341
00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:14,573
And on more than
one occasion, he...

342
00:20:14,698 --> 00:20:16,575
He actually
stole my blood!

343
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:19,703
- (BALL SPINS)
- But still...

344
00:20:19,828 --> 00:20:21,788
(SOBBING)
I wish I had Bender back!

345
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,750
(BEEPING, WARBLING)

346
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:26,793
(FRY'S VOICE)
Wish I had Bender back.

347
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:31,381
- Huh?
- (SNORING) Hey... What?

348
00:20:31,506 --> 00:20:34,301
- You say something?
- N... No. No.

349
00:20:34,426 --> 00:20:38,180
Well, so long.
Remember what we talked about.

350
00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:41,350
(GASPING, SCREAMING)

351
00:20:41,475 --> 00:20:44,561
Whoa!

352
00:20:47,147 --> 00:20:49,483
(WHISTLING, DESCENDING IN TONE)

353
00:20:49,608 --> 00:20:52,986
- (GASPS)
- (SCREAMS)

354
00:20:53,111 --> 00:20:55,155
Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!
Aah!

355
00:20:58,033 --> 00:21:00,410
Bender!
It's a miracle!

356
00:21:00,535 --> 00:21:02,579
- (HISSING)
- Aah!

357
00:21:02,704 --> 00:21:08,126
This is by a wide margin the least likely
thing that has ever happened.

358
00:21:08,251 --> 00:21:10,337
Guys! You'll never
believe what happened!

359
00:21:10,462 --> 00:21:13,382
First, I was God.
Then I met God.

360
00:21:13,507 --> 00:21:15,425
We climbed a mountain
and locked up some monks!

361
00:21:15,550 --> 00:21:19,179
Oh, no! The monks! We forgot to
let them out of the laundry room!

362
00:21:19,304 --> 00:21:21,598
Aw, do we have to?
I mean, they're monks.

363
00:21:21,723 --> 00:21:23,600
I'm sure their God
will let them out.

364
00:21:23,725 --> 00:21:26,561
- Or at least give them more shoes to eat.
- BENDER: Fat chance!

365
00:21:26,687 --> 00:21:28,855
You can't count on God
for jack!

366
00:21:28,980 --> 00:21:30,857
He pretty much
told me so himself.

367
00:21:30,982 --> 00:21:34,528
Now, come on! If we
don't save those monks, no one will!

368
00:21:45,038 --> 00:21:46,999
(CHUCKLING)

369
00:21:47,124 --> 00:21:51,962
When you do things right, people won't
be sure you've done anything at all.

370
00:21:57,342 --> 00:21:59,344
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)