1
00:00:04,006 --> 00:00:06,258
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:37,998 --> 00:00:41,126
Yes. Good thing I noticed
the similar shapes.

3
00:00:41,251 --> 00:00:46,173
HERMES: Planet Express stockholders,
I present our Chief Executive Officer,

4
00:00:46,298 --> 00:00:49,551
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth!
- Oh?

5
00:00:49,676 --> 00:00:53,347
- (CHEERING) There he is!
- Take it off!

6
00:00:53,472 --> 00:00:58,101
- W... Where am I?
- Move forward! Walk into the light!

7
00:00:58,227 --> 00:01:00,562
Oh, God! I'm dead!

8
00:01:00,687 --> 00:01:03,524
Well, no matter.

9
00:01:03,649 --> 00:01:07,361
Thank you all for coming.
I don't recognize any of you,

10
00:01:07,486 --> 00:01:10,030
nor can I recall
why I am here.

11
00:01:10,155 --> 00:01:12,032
Now, without further ado,

12
00:01:12,157 --> 00:01:14,827
a film highlighting
Planet Express, Inc.'s

13
00:01:14,952 --> 00:01:17,120
- latest fiscal year.
- (APPLAUSE)

14
00:01:17,246 --> 00:01:21,250
MAN: (NARRATING)
Planet Express is on the move!

15
00:01:21,375 --> 00:01:23,627
For this hip,
young delivery company,

16
00:01:23,752 --> 00:01:27,798
tomorrow is today,
and today is yesterday.

17
00:01:27,923 --> 00:01:29,967
You heard me.

18
00:01:31,176 --> 00:01:33,137
It was a year
of soaring profits,

19
00:01:33,262 --> 00:01:36,557
and significant
one-time losses.

20
00:01:39,184 --> 00:01:41,270
Psst! Watching myself work
is making me hungry.

21
00:01:41,395 --> 00:01:43,355
Help me find
some food somewhere.

22
00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,608
I'll not only help you find it,
I'll help you do more to it.

23
00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:49,361
- (KEYBOARD CLACKING)
- (GIGGLES)

24
00:01:49,486 --> 00:01:52,406
Ooh, a bot-mitzvah!
Shalom hunger.

25
00:01:52,531 --> 00:01:55,409
Shalom free food.

26
00:01:55,534 --> 00:01:59,621
- No shellfish!
- (HIGH-PITCHED YELP) That is so unfair.

27
00:01:59,746 --> 00:02:01,790
(SNORT)
Tell me about it.

28
00:02:01,915 --> 00:02:04,042
- (KLEZMER MUSIC PLAYING)
- (PARTYERS CHATTERING)

29
00:02:12,217 --> 00:02:15,095
So, what's the deal?
You guys don't believe in Robot-Jesus?

30
00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:18,015
We believe he was built, and that he was
a very well-programmed robot.

31
00:02:18,140 --> 00:02:20,017
But he wasn't
our Messiah.

32
00:02:21,602 --> 00:02:24,396
NARRATOR:
And so our company flames onwards.

33
00:02:24,521 --> 00:02:28,484
Planet Express!
Limitless potential, boundless horizons!

34
00:02:28,609 --> 00:02:32,404
The unstoppable juggernaut
of the corporate universe!

35
00:02:32,529 --> 00:02:35,491
It's been a terrible year,
people.

36
00:02:35,616 --> 00:02:37,618
The company is on the verge
of bankruptcy.

37
00:02:37,743 --> 00:02:40,037
- (COLLECTIVE GASP) Oh, no.
- But the movie...

38
00:02:40,162 --> 00:02:43,040
- Was a substantial loss for the company.
- (POINTER BEEPS)

39
00:02:43,165 --> 00:02:47,002
The blue pie slice represents the money
we earned from shipping packages,

40
00:02:47,127 --> 00:02:51,632
while the green slice represents
an $8.00 bank error in our favor.

41
00:02:51,757 --> 00:02:53,425
This toads the wet sprocket.

42
00:02:53,509 --> 00:02:55,219
What about our thousands of shares
of stock?

43
00:02:55,302 --> 00:02:56,303
Worthless.

44
00:02:56,428 --> 00:03:00,641
- I'll kill you!
- I own one share of Planet Kajigger,

45
00:03:00,766 --> 00:03:02,976
so I'm entitled
to some answers.

46
00:03:03,101 --> 00:03:06,522
Question one:
Why does no one visit me in my home?

47
00:03:06,647 --> 00:03:10,359
'Cause your apartment smells
like Polygrip and cat pee!

48
00:03:10,484 --> 00:03:14,363
FRY: (GASPS)
This is perfect for me!

49
00:03:16,990 --> 00:03:20,702
Question. Do you have to have been
cryogenically frozen to get the free...

50
00:03:20,828 --> 00:03:23,247
(GROANS)
You didn't let me finish!

51
00:03:23,372 --> 00:03:25,749
I was going to say
"to get the free food!"

52
00:03:25,874 --> 00:03:28,544
(VORACIOUS MUNCHING)

53
00:03:28,669 --> 00:03:32,965
- My name's Joe, and I'm a defrostee.
- GROUP: Hello, Joe.

54
00:03:33,090 --> 00:03:36,176
When I was frozen,
giant carrots ruled the Earth.

55
00:03:36,301 --> 00:03:39,096
But now they don't.
It takes some getting used to.

56
00:03:41,723 --> 00:03:44,810
Back in the 1980s,
I was the toast of Wall Street.

57
00:03:44,935 --> 00:03:48,272
I was havin' whiskey with
Boesky and cookies with Milken.

58
00:03:48,397 --> 00:03:52,234
But then,
I was diagnosed with terminal bone-itis.

59
00:03:52,359 --> 00:03:54,236
Bone-itis?
(SPUTTERING LAUGH)

60
00:03:54,361 --> 00:03:56,196
That's a funny name
for a horrible disease.

61
00:03:56,321 --> 00:03:58,157
There was no cure
at the time.

62
00:03:58,282 --> 00:04:00,617
One drug company was close,
but I arranged

63
00:04:00,742 --> 00:04:03,162
a hostile takeover
and sold off all the assets.

64
00:04:03,287 --> 00:04:07,207
Made a cool hundred mil.
(LAUGHS, COUGHS)

65
00:04:11,211 --> 00:04:13,922
Naturally, I froze myself
until a cure was found.

66
00:04:14,047 --> 00:04:17,176
And now here I am,
ready to sleaze my way back to the top,

67
00:04:17,301 --> 00:04:19,386
'80s-style.

68
00:04:21,180 --> 00:04:25,142
As a caveman frozen in a glacier,
I faced different challenges.

69
00:04:25,267 --> 00:04:29,229
The hardest thing was seeing my wife
on display in the British Museum.

70
00:04:29,354 --> 00:04:31,440
(SYMPATHETIC MURMURS)

71
00:04:31,565 --> 00:04:33,817
Hey, buddy,
I'm from the same time as you.

72
00:04:33,942 --> 00:04:36,403
- Remember that song, "Safety Dance"?
- Sure do.

73
00:04:36,528 --> 00:04:38,447
We can dance
Dun-dun, dun-dun

74
00:04:38,572 --> 00:04:40,949
Dun-dun-dun, dun-dun
Dun-dun, dun-dun, dun...

75
00:04:41,074 --> 00:04:43,619
(BOTH LAUGH)

76
00:04:43,744 --> 00:04:45,996
You know, that dance wasn't
as safe as they said it was.

77
00:04:46,121 --> 00:04:49,166
I tell ya, two go-go
'80s Reaganauts like us,

78
00:04:49,291 --> 00:04:51,794
- we could rule this world!
- No question.

79
00:04:51,919 --> 00:04:54,296
If only someone
would give us a shot.

80
00:04:54,421 --> 00:04:57,382
They're scared of our raw power.
Oh, but if you want a job,

81
00:04:57,508 --> 00:04:59,593
I could beg everyone
at the company where I work.

82
00:04:59,718 --> 00:05:03,305
Awesome.
Awesome to the max!

83
00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:08,185
And finally, the post office meter
is for business mail only.

84
00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:12,064
Ah, come on! I've got a lot
of ransom notes to send!

85
00:05:12,189 --> 00:05:14,650
Enough talk!
It's time for action!

86
00:05:14,775 --> 00:05:19,029
I move that everyone
come to my apartment to snuggle my cat.

87
00:05:19,154 --> 00:05:22,491
- Second.
- I move that your cat stinks and is ugly.

88
00:05:22,616 --> 00:05:25,035
- Second.
- I move that we vote on

89
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:28,163
a new chief executive officer
and oust this old creep!

90
00:05:28,288 --> 00:05:30,833
And also that my cat
smells good and is pretty.

91
00:05:30,958 --> 00:05:32,584
Second.

92
00:05:32,709 --> 00:05:35,504
Very well.
I nominate the professor!

93
00:05:35,629 --> 00:05:37,673
- ALL: Second.
- I'm your man!

94
00:05:37,798 --> 00:05:40,217
I vote my 10,000 shares
for the professor.

95
00:05:40,342 --> 00:05:42,219
- Yeah, the professor!
- Me?

96
00:05:44,847 --> 00:05:47,391
I nominate that guy!
Not just because he has a suit,

97
00:05:47,516 --> 00:05:50,144
but because he knows about
business and stuff, and he has a tie.

98
00:05:50,269 --> 00:05:52,187
(ALL MURMURING)

99
00:05:52,312 --> 00:05:55,023
My shares still count if they went through
the washing machine, right?

100
00:05:57,025 --> 00:05:59,945
Well, if I know anything about which
number is bigger than the other number,

101
00:06:00,028 --> 00:06:01,196
I'd say...

102
00:06:01,321 --> 00:06:05,742
Now, hold on there. Scruffy votes his
40,000 shares for the mysterious stranger.

103
00:06:05,868 --> 00:06:10,414
Forty thousand? How come you have four
times as much stock as the rest of us?

104
00:06:10,539 --> 00:06:13,959
Scruffy believes
in this company. (SNIFFLES)

105
00:06:14,084 --> 00:06:17,754
Then we have a tie,
and in the event of a tie

106
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,632
the professor,
as current C.E.O., remains...

107
00:06:20,757 --> 00:06:24,261
I demand the floor!
I may only have one share,

108
00:06:24,386 --> 00:06:26,472
but I get to vote,
same as anyone.

109
00:06:26,597 --> 00:06:28,849
And I'm voting
against the cat hater!

110
00:06:28,974 --> 00:06:31,435
- Isn't that right, kitty?
- (MEOWS)

111
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:35,147
- Hey! You ate my change!
- (CAT JINGLING)

112
00:06:36,356 --> 00:06:39,485
Then it's settled. The new
chief executive officer

113
00:06:39,610 --> 00:06:41,570
of Planet Express
Corporation is...

114
00:06:41,695 --> 00:06:43,572
That Guy!

115
00:06:43,697 --> 00:06:47,326
Dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun-dun, dun-dun,
Dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun-dun, dun...

116
00:06:52,206 --> 00:06:56,293
Please welcome our new
Chief Executive Officer, That Guy!

117
00:06:57,377 --> 00:07:00,422
Yay!
Whoo-whoo-whoo!

118
00:07:00,547 --> 00:07:04,760
Let's cut to the chase. There are
two kinds of people, sheep and sharks.

119
00:07:04,885 --> 00:07:06,887
Anyone who's a sheep
is fired.

120
00:07:07,012 --> 00:07:09,973
- Who's a sheep?
- ZOIDBERG: Uh, excuse me.

121
00:07:10,098 --> 00:07:11,975
Which is the one
people like to hug?

122
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:14,311
Gutsy question.
You're a shark.

123
00:07:14,436 --> 00:07:17,689
Sharks are winners, and they don't look
back, 'cause they don't have necks.

124
00:07:17,815 --> 00:07:21,235
Necks are for sheep.

125
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,696
I am proud to be the shepherd
of this herd of sharks,

126
00:07:24,822 --> 00:07:29,368
and I am gonna lead you
to the top in this industry of... Of...

127
00:07:29,493 --> 00:07:31,787
- (WHISPERS) Package delivery.
- Package delivery?

128
00:07:31,912 --> 00:07:35,165
Oh, God!
Fantastic!

129
00:07:35,290 --> 00:07:37,334
Now, the first order
of business

130
00:07:37,459 --> 00:07:39,837
is to blame everything
on the guy before me.

131
00:07:39,962 --> 00:07:43,715
- Professor?
- I'll ruin you like I ruined this company!

132
00:07:43,841 --> 00:07:46,009
Terrific.
Question number one...

133
00:07:46,135 --> 00:07:48,011
What was
your overall business plan?

134
00:07:48,137 --> 00:07:52,015
(STAMMERING)
Business plan, uh, yes.

135
00:07:52,141 --> 00:07:54,810
I keep it here,
right next to my heart.

136
00:07:58,856 --> 00:08:01,859
This isn't a business plan.
It's an escape plan.

137
00:08:01,984 --> 00:08:05,404
So long, suckers!

138
00:08:05,529 --> 00:08:07,531
(GIGGLING)

139
00:08:07,656 --> 00:08:10,450
Fry, as a fellow
'80s dollar jockey,

140
00:08:10,576 --> 00:08:13,996
- I'm makin' you my new vice chairman.
- Wahoo!

141
00:08:14,121 --> 00:08:16,373
I'm rollin' up
the corporate ramp! (CHORTLES)

142
00:08:16,498 --> 00:08:18,750
- ZOIDBERG: It's the end of the line.
- We're ruined!

143
00:08:18,876 --> 00:08:23,672
What fevered dream is this that bids
to tear this company in twain?

144
00:08:26,467 --> 00:08:29,470
(GRAVELLY VOICE)
Thank you. Come again.

145
00:08:29,595 --> 00:08:32,055
That's what I call
a hostile makeover.

146
00:08:32,181 --> 00:08:33,182
Hair gel?

147
00:08:33,265 --> 00:08:36,351
No, thanks. I make my own.
(GREASE SQUISHING)

148
00:08:42,816 --> 00:08:45,986
- (SIGNAL TWITTERS, DINGS)
- (PEDESTRIANS WHIRRING)

149
00:08:48,780 --> 00:08:51,200
This company's
gonna shoot straight to the top

150
00:08:51,325 --> 00:08:53,452
and stay there,
like Cyndi Lauper.

151
00:08:53,577 --> 00:08:58,332
I ask you, who is the number one
delivery service on Earth?

152
00:08:58,457 --> 00:09:01,502
- Is it Planet Express, master?
- (LAUGHS)

153
00:09:01,627 --> 00:09:03,629
Is this guy
a shark or what?

154
00:09:03,754 --> 00:09:05,631
Seriously, though,
we stink out loud.

155
00:09:05,756 --> 00:09:08,133
Here's
the big Enchirito...

156
00:09:09,551 --> 00:09:11,929
Mom's Friendly
Delivery Company.

157
00:09:12,054 --> 00:09:15,557
We can't compete with Mom!
Her company is big and evil.

158
00:09:15,682 --> 00:09:19,269
- Ours is small and neutral.
- Switzerland is small and neutral.

159
00:09:19,394 --> 00:09:22,856
We're more like Germany...
Ambitious and misunderstood.

160
00:09:22,981 --> 00:09:25,609
Look, everyone wants
to be like Germany.

161
00:09:25,734 --> 00:09:28,153
But do we really have
the pure strength of will?

162
00:09:28,278 --> 00:09:30,155
I say we do!

163
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,741
Now, are we gonna let ourselves
get beaten by an old lady?

164
00:09:32,866 --> 00:09:35,828
- Yes, my liege.
- No, we're not!

165
00:09:35,953 --> 00:09:38,664
And as vice chairman,
I believe I speak for the entire board

166
00:09:38,789 --> 00:09:40,707
when I issue
this challenge to Mom!

167
00:09:40,833 --> 00:09:44,545
(ZIPPER UNZIPPING) Look at my butt!
Whooooo! (GLASS SQUEAKING)

168
00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:48,549
- Whooo, whoo, whoo, whoo!
- You call that a pressed ham?

169
00:09:48,674 --> 00:09:50,968
- Walt, hit the retaliate button!
- (RAZZING CONTINUES)

170
00:09:51,093 --> 00:09:53,428
(HEMMING, HAWING)
Oh, let's see.

171
00:09:53,554 --> 00:09:56,181
Any button!
They all retaliate!

172
00:09:56,306 --> 00:09:59,768
- (PANEL TWITTERING)
- (ARM WHIRRING)

173
00:10:02,771 --> 00:10:05,774
(ALL SCREAMING)

174
00:10:09,736 --> 00:10:13,574
- (CHEERING)
- (BELL RINGS)

175
00:10:13,699 --> 00:10:15,450
(BOTH GRUNTING)

176
00:10:15,576 --> 00:10:18,579
(GROWLING)
(HOWLING)

177
00:10:18,704 --> 00:10:21,123
Whoo! Yeah!
Hit 'em, hit 'em, hit 'em!

178
00:10:21,248 --> 00:10:23,167
(LAUGHS)
Now, this is the high life,

179
00:10:23,292 --> 00:10:25,502
watching apes
mangle each other near celebrities.

180
00:10:25,627 --> 00:10:28,130
In my day, we went to coke parties,
but the principle's the same.

181
00:10:28,255 --> 00:10:31,300
(APE GRUNTING)

182
00:10:31,425 --> 00:10:34,595
Get your stinkin' trike off me,
you damn, dirty ape!

183
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,473
Listen, big guy.
Now that you're my protégé,

184
00:10:37,598 --> 00:10:40,184
it's time I cut you in on
the secret to success.

185
00:10:40,309 --> 00:10:43,604
- Any guesses?
- Uh, work really, really hard?

186
00:10:43,729 --> 00:10:45,606
- No.
- Oh, thank God!

187
00:10:45,731 --> 00:10:48,609
It's all about appearances.

188
00:10:48,734 --> 00:10:51,695
That's why it's time
to update our company's stodgy image

189
00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:54,198
and give it the sleek,
dazzling veneer

190
00:10:54,323 --> 00:10:56,533
of the 1980s!

191
00:10:58,327 --> 00:11:02,247
(SNORING)

192
00:11:03,332 --> 00:11:05,250
(STARTLED GASPS)

193
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:08,921
This company's on the fast track to
the "It List." Blast fax kudos all around!

194
00:11:09,046 --> 00:11:13,008
Uh, hello? We haven't made one delivery
since you two took over.

195
00:11:13,133 --> 00:11:16,678
Delivery has nothing to do
with the delivery business.

196
00:11:16,804 --> 00:11:19,723
Image, people! Image!
Scope out this new ad!

197
00:11:19,848 --> 00:11:24,019
MOM: (ECHOING)
We are all one, with one mind,

198
00:11:24,144 --> 00:11:26,021
one purpose, one pact.

199
00:11:26,146 --> 00:11:28,774
Our enemy shall be eaten
by scorpions.

200
00:11:28,899 --> 00:11:32,110
And we shall bow down
and worship to ourselves.

201
00:11:32,194 --> 00:11:33,570
(YELLS)

202
00:11:33,695 --> 00:11:36,573
We shall prevail!

203
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:41,870
Hey, we were watching that!

204
00:11:43,664 --> 00:11:46,416
That was terrible!
People won't even know what we do.

205
00:11:46,542 --> 00:11:49,670
I don't even know what we do.
Nah, just kiddin'. (CHUCKLES)

206
00:11:49,795 --> 00:11:51,630
What are we,
like a bus or somethin'?

207
00:11:51,755 --> 00:11:53,966
Did you approve
that awful ad, Fry?

208
00:11:54,091 --> 00:11:56,510
Yes, I did, Leels,
and I'll tell you why.

209
00:11:56,635 --> 00:11:58,637
Because it grows
the brand.

210
00:11:58,762 --> 00:12:00,973
- Oh, Lord.
- (GROWLS)

211
00:12:01,098 --> 00:12:03,684
This company's circling
the drain, I tell you!

212
00:12:03,809 --> 00:12:05,769
I'd sell my stock right now for
a sandwich.

213
00:12:05,853 --> 00:12:07,104
Sold!

214
00:12:10,232 --> 00:12:12,192
A complete sandwich?

215
00:12:12,317 --> 00:12:15,028
(LAUGHS)
You got fleeced.

216
00:12:15,154 --> 00:12:19,533
I would have settled for a hard roll
with ketchup inside. (SLURPING)

217
00:12:22,119 --> 00:12:25,664
What is this moose drip?

218
00:12:27,207 --> 00:12:29,293
"The New Delivery Kings?"

219
00:12:29,418 --> 00:12:32,463
I'm sick of hearing about
those turtle squirts.

220
00:12:32,588 --> 00:12:35,466
- But they're kings, Mommy.
- Jam a bastard in it, you crap!

221
00:12:35,591 --> 00:12:37,468
ALL:
Ow!

222
00:12:40,095 --> 00:12:42,514
Enjoy our private
dining room, folks.

223
00:12:42,639 --> 00:12:44,600
This is where we serve
our richest,

224
00:12:44,725 --> 00:12:47,311
- most successful chumps.
- Tonight, that's us.

225
00:12:47,394 --> 00:12:49,146
What have you got
that's really overpriced?

226
00:12:49,229 --> 00:12:50,230
Everything.

227
00:12:50,355 --> 00:12:51,398
Bring me that.

228
00:12:51,482 --> 00:12:53,692
Make it two.
And a glass of all your water.

229
00:12:53,817 --> 00:12:56,904
Okay, let's work on
your execu-speak.

230
00:12:57,029 --> 00:12:58,655
I'm worried about "blank."

231
00:12:58,739 --> 00:13:01,617
Don't you worry about "blank."
Let me worry about "blank."

232
00:13:01,742 --> 00:13:03,619
Good.
I also would have accepted,

233
00:13:03,744 --> 00:13:07,289
"Blank? Blank? You're not
looking at the big picture!"

234
00:13:07,414 --> 00:13:09,750
(CLEARING THROAT)

235
00:13:09,875 --> 00:13:11,919
(GASPS)
What a pleasant surprise.

236
00:13:12,044 --> 00:13:16,173
Shut up, booger blaster!
It's time the three of us had a talk.

237
00:13:16,298 --> 00:13:18,550
I'll handle this, Fry.
You get back to the farm,

238
00:13:18,675 --> 00:13:21,345
shift some paradigms,
revolutionize outside the box.

239
00:13:21,470 --> 00:13:24,932
I'm on it. But if you need me,
you know where I'll be.

240
00:13:25,057 --> 00:13:27,351
(SCREAMING)

241
00:13:27,476 --> 00:13:29,520
(GRUNTING, GROANING)
Okay.

242
00:13:31,605 --> 00:13:34,942
Call me a booger blaster.
I'll blast a booger so hard that...

243
00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:37,694
Fry, we're worried
about Planet Express.

244
00:13:37,820 --> 00:13:41,281
Don't you worry about Planet Express.
Let me worry about "blank."

245
00:13:41,406 --> 00:13:43,784
That guy is nothin'
but a flashy con man,

246
00:13:43,909 --> 00:13:46,578
and you've been hypnotized
by his swingin' baloney.

247
00:13:46,703 --> 00:13:49,581
- You've changed, Fry.
- What? I haven't changed.

248
00:13:49,706 --> 00:13:51,583
- (INTERCOM TWITTERS)
- Suz, have I changed?

249
00:13:51,708 --> 00:13:54,503
- No, sir, Mister Fry.
- Thanks, doll.

250
00:13:54,628 --> 00:13:57,214
I don't care what
Ms. Johnson says.

251
00:13:57,339 --> 00:14:00,509
That Guy's turning this place
into some kind of "business."

252
00:14:00,634 --> 00:14:04,972
This isn't a business. I've always thought
of it more as a source of cheap labor.

253
00:14:05,097 --> 00:14:08,392
- Like a family.
- You're right, Professor.

254
00:14:08,517 --> 00:14:11,728
We may not be a traditional family
like the Murphys next door

255
00:14:11,854 --> 00:14:14,690
or the lesbian coven
across the street, but we are a family.

256
00:14:14,815 --> 00:14:17,776
And That Guy
understands that.

257
00:14:17,901 --> 00:14:19,862
Everyone's fired,
and we're out of business.

258
00:14:19,987 --> 00:14:21,655
- (COLLECTIVE GASP)
- AMY: Oh, no!

259
00:14:21,780 --> 00:14:23,824
I'm gonna sell
Planet Express to Mom,

260
00:14:23,949 --> 00:14:27,244
so she can gut the company
and eliminate us as competitors.

261
00:14:27,369 --> 00:14:29,830
Don't let the door
hit you on the way out,

262
00:14:29,955 --> 00:14:32,833
'cause I don't want
ass prints on my new door!

263
00:14:42,676 --> 00:14:46,638
Uh, Ms. Johnson?
Please bring in some more chair fuel.

264
00:14:51,643 --> 00:14:53,854
I had no idea
the company would be sold!

265
00:14:53,979 --> 00:14:56,899
I was just an innocent suck-up!
You've got to believe me!

266
00:14:57,024 --> 00:15:00,277
Just leave us alone, and let us
clear out our lockers.

267
00:15:00,402 --> 00:15:03,822
Yeah!
(CHUCKLES)

268
00:15:03,947 --> 00:15:06,492
(SOBBING)
It's so sad.

269
00:15:06,617 --> 00:15:10,704
Where will I go?
What will I do?

270
00:15:10,829 --> 00:15:13,457
You have Mrs. Darlinghaven's
cotillion at 7:00, ma'am.

271
00:15:13,582 --> 00:15:16,376
(SOBBING)
Oh, that'll be fun.

272
00:15:18,837 --> 00:15:20,964
(SIGHS)

273
00:15:21,089 --> 00:15:23,425
Ms. Johnson,
you've never lied to me.

274
00:15:23,550 --> 00:15:26,261
- Am I still a good person?
- I don't know, sir.

275
00:15:26,386 --> 00:15:28,472
I'm a program
built into the intercom.

276
00:15:28,597 --> 00:15:30,724
I've got to redeem myself.

277
00:15:30,849 --> 00:15:33,477
Somehow, some time,
for some reason,

278
00:15:33,602 --> 00:15:35,938
I'll block this takeover!

279
00:15:36,063 --> 00:15:38,732
Mr. Fry,
your two o'clock magician is here.

280
00:15:38,857 --> 00:15:41,944
Believe it or not,
I have more important things to do today

281
00:15:42,069 --> 00:15:44,071
than laugh
and clap my hands.

282
00:15:44,196 --> 00:15:46,073
Reschedule.

283
00:16:07,678 --> 00:16:11,056
(TRADERS CHATTERING)

284
00:16:11,181 --> 00:16:14,434
- (CLACKING)
- Sell 100 soylent beans!

285
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:18,021
- Buy 3,000 corn bellies!
- Two hundred cans Whoop-Ass!

286
00:16:18,147 --> 00:16:21,441
- Three big bags of trash!
- MAN: Attention, please.

287
00:16:21,567 --> 00:16:24,778
The takeover of PlanEx Corp
by Mom's Delivery Company

288
00:16:24,903 --> 00:16:27,656
will take place
in the business center in ten minutes.

289
00:16:27,781 --> 00:16:31,160
(BELLOWS)
I am Jor-El, Master of Scheduling!

290
00:16:38,083 --> 00:16:41,837
Okay. We got the hot tub hot,
the wine coolers cool.

291
00:16:41,962 --> 00:16:44,882
- It's "Hammer" time!
- (BOOING)

292
00:16:45,007 --> 00:16:46,884
You suck!

293
00:16:49,136 --> 00:16:53,557
According to regulations,
both companies must approve the takeover.

294
00:16:53,682 --> 00:16:56,477
Planet Express shareholders,
cast your votes.

295
00:16:56,602 --> 00:16:59,897
Great banda of Uganda!
We can vote against it!

296
00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:01,356
(LAUGHING)

297
00:17:01,482 --> 00:17:04,276
I'll vote it down like a raise
for schoolteachers!

298
00:17:13,619 --> 00:17:16,955
- BENDER: What the...
- (GASPING)

299
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:18,916
I neglected to mention
that the shares

300
00:17:19,041 --> 00:17:22,336
I bought from Dr. Zoidberg
gave me majority control.

301
00:17:22,461 --> 00:17:25,631
Zoidberg owned 51 percent
of the company?

302
00:17:25,756 --> 00:17:29,009
The shares were worthless,
and he kept askin' for toilet paper!

303
00:17:29,134 --> 00:17:33,430
And now, if MomCorp shareholders
will cast their ballots.

304
00:17:41,814 --> 00:17:43,732
Um, uhh.

305
00:17:43,857 --> 00:17:46,318
(TWITTERS)
(BUZZER BUZZING)

306
00:17:46,443 --> 00:17:49,446
Uhh!
The ballot was confusing!

307
00:17:49,571 --> 00:17:52,783
- How about a hand recount?
- Okay. Ow!

308
00:17:52,908 --> 00:17:56,078
The takeover
of Planet Express is approved!

309
00:17:56,203 --> 00:17:57,371
- (BOOING)
- Ah, man!

310
00:17:57,496 --> 00:17:59,915
- This stinks!
- Madam is outraged!

311
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:03,335
Security! I want that bunch
of rowdies out of here!

312
00:18:04,837 --> 00:18:08,048
(COMMOTION)

313
00:18:08,173 --> 00:18:11,885
(SNORING)

314
00:18:12,010 --> 00:18:16,223
MomCorp will now purchase
all outstanding shares of Planet Express

315
00:18:16,348 --> 00:18:18,934
at the current market price,
which is...

316
00:18:19,059 --> 00:18:20,936
(SCREEN BEEPS)
107!

317
00:18:21,061 --> 00:18:23,230
(GRUNTING)

318
00:18:23,355 --> 00:18:25,232
Whoa! Ow!

319
00:18:25,357 --> 00:18:27,484
And also,
it hurt my feelings!

320
00:18:27,609 --> 00:18:29,862
What are you solids
griping about?

321
00:18:29,987 --> 00:18:33,073
Your shares are worth
$107 apiece.

322
00:18:33,198 --> 00:18:36,076
They are? Oh, my God!
I'm a millionaire!

323
00:18:36,201 --> 00:18:38,662
Suddenly, I have an opinion
about the capital gains tax!

324
00:18:38,787 --> 00:18:40,664
- Yeah! All right!
- I'm even richer!

325
00:18:40,789 --> 00:18:43,625
(GROANS)
I have no shares!

326
00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:47,296
(SOBS)
Wait! My sandwich!

327
00:18:47,421 --> 00:18:49,965
Has it also appreciated
in value? Please, oh, please!

328
00:18:50,090 --> 00:18:52,801
You didn't even refrigerate it,
you spineless lobster!

329
00:18:52,926 --> 00:18:55,804
You had to drag
spines into this!

330
00:18:55,929 --> 00:18:57,890
(SOBS)

331
00:18:59,057 --> 00:19:01,602
(CLEARS THROAT)

332
00:19:01,727 --> 00:19:04,021
As vice chairman of Planet Express,
I'd like to say a few words.

333
00:19:04,146 --> 00:19:08,150
There comes a time for every man
who becomes rich and deserts his friends,

334
00:19:08,275 --> 00:19:10,152
when he goes back
how it was.

335
00:19:10,277 --> 00:19:12,029
For me, that time is now.

336
00:19:12,154 --> 00:19:15,908
So I ask you, as a friend...
Won't you stop this deal?

337
00:19:16,033 --> 00:19:19,119
Fry, I'm an '80s guy. Friendship to me
means that for two bucks

338
00:19:19,244 --> 00:19:22,080
I beat you with a pool cue
till you got detached retinas.

339
00:19:22,206 --> 00:19:24,124
The deal will go ahead as...

340
00:19:24,249 --> 00:19:27,002
(PAINED CRY, SQUISHING SOUNDS)

341
00:19:29,505 --> 00:19:32,883
(SQUISHING CONTINUES)

342
00:19:33,008 --> 00:19:35,219
- My bones!
- (GASPS)

343
00:19:35,344 --> 00:19:37,012
Oh, my God!
His bone-itis!

344
00:19:37,137 --> 00:19:41,099
I was so busy bein' an '80s guy,
I forgot to cure it!

345
00:19:41,225 --> 00:19:44,061
(BONES CRACKING)

346
00:19:47,105 --> 00:19:52,277
My only regret is...
That I have... Bone-itis.

347
00:19:52,402 --> 00:19:55,447
- (CRACKING, SQUISHING)
- He's dead!

348
00:19:55,572 --> 00:19:58,033
(GASPING, MURMURING)

349
00:19:58,158 --> 00:20:00,244
Pry out his fillings,
feed him to the jackals,

350
00:20:00,369 --> 00:20:02,496
- and let's get on with the sale!
- I don't think so.

351
00:20:02,621 --> 00:20:07,125
Because as vice chairman of the company,
I gain voting control of his shares.

352
00:20:07,251 --> 00:20:10,921
- Don't be a fool, you idiot!
- I'll be whatever I want to do!

353
00:20:11,046 --> 00:20:14,174
That Guy was the greatest businessman
that ever lived.

354
00:20:14,299 --> 00:20:17,261
And before his mysterious death,
he taught me everything he knew.

355
00:20:17,386 --> 00:20:19,513
- (SIGN TWITTERS)
- But some things I had to learn myself.

356
00:20:19,638 --> 00:20:21,807
- (TWITTERING)
- I learned that money is fine,

357
00:20:21,890 --> 00:20:24,643
- but in the end, what counts is people.
- (TWITTERING CONTINUES)

358
00:20:24,726 --> 00:20:27,396
People you love.
You can't put a price on that.

359
00:20:27,521 --> 00:20:29,731
And so I'm giving up
control of the company

360
00:20:29,857 --> 00:20:31,733
to a man of enormous
experience,

361
00:20:31,859 --> 00:20:34,153
Professor
Hubert Farnsworth.

362
00:20:34,278 --> 00:20:36,613
(SNORING)
O... Oh, you! Wh... What?

363
00:20:36,738 --> 00:20:40,200
I'm awake!
I'm awake!

364
00:20:40,325 --> 00:20:42,494
(DIGITS CLANKING)

365
00:20:42,578 --> 00:20:45,164
Fry! Stop doin' the right thing, you jerk!

366
00:20:45,289 --> 00:20:48,834
Let Mom buy the company!
We all want to be filthy, stinking rich!

367
00:20:48,959 --> 00:20:50,961
Trust me.
Two out of three doesn't cut it.

368
00:20:51,086 --> 00:20:54,131
You mean,
you'd rather be rich than work together?

369
00:20:54,256 --> 00:20:57,509
- Hell yeah!
- In my whole life,

370
00:20:57,634 --> 00:21:00,637
this company was
the only place I ever really felt at home.

371
00:21:00,762 --> 00:21:03,515
But if being millionaires
is more important to you than our...

372
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:04,641
It is!

373
00:21:04,725 --> 00:21:07,811
...friendship,
then I'll sell Planet Express... For you.

374
00:21:09,188 --> 00:21:11,523
Millionaires,
nothing!

375
00:21:11,648 --> 00:21:13,942
The stock's only worth
three kajiggers!

376
00:21:14,067 --> 00:21:15,611
- Ah, come on!
- (GROANING)

377
00:21:15,736 --> 00:21:19,114
My Jah! It's worth less now
than when it was worthless!

378
00:21:19,239 --> 00:21:21,366
It is? Yahoo!

379
00:21:21,492 --> 00:21:24,203
We're poor no matter what I do!
The deal is off!

380
00:21:24,328 --> 00:21:27,122
- (BEEPS)
- (TWITTERING, RINGING)

381
00:21:27,247 --> 00:21:31,251
Ah-ha! Once again,
the conservative sandwich-heavy portfolio

382
00:21:31,376 --> 00:21:33,253
pays off
for the hungry investor!

383
00:21:33,378 --> 00:21:35,964
(SLURPS, GULPS)

384
00:21:36,089 --> 00:21:39,176
Oh, I'm ruined!
(SOBS)

385
00:21:39,301 --> 00:21:41,762
Why? Why?

386
00:21:41,887 --> 00:21:43,388
Look, so we're not millionaires.

387
00:21:43,472 --> 00:21:45,182
At least we all still get to
work together.

388
00:21:45,307 --> 00:21:49,019
- (ALL GRUMBLING)
- Shut your fat mouth.

389
00:21:49,144 --> 00:21:52,022
See you guys Monday!

390
00:21:57,528 --> 00:21:59,571
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)