1
00:00:02,471 --> 00:00:04,473
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:33,627 --> 00:00:35,879
Oh, put down the binoculars, Fry.

3
00:00:35,963 --> 00:00:39,383
The wall of that strip club
isn't going to collapse twice in one day.

4
00:00:39,591 --> 00:00:41,802
I know. And I've grown to accept that.

5
00:00:42,010 --> 00:00:45,013
Now I'm more interested in that
new pizza parlor across the street.

6
00:00:45,305 --> 00:00:48,225
Kinda makes me pine for my days
as a pizza delivery boy.

7
00:00:48,433 --> 00:00:51,311
"Here's your pizza!" I'd say.
"I didn't order any!" they'd say.

8
00:00:51,436 --> 00:00:53,272
And then I'd be off to my next adventure.

9
00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:56,233
That story stunk. Hand me the binoculars.

10
00:00:58,235 --> 00:00:59,236
(SNAPS)

11
00:01:03,574 --> 00:01:05,826
LEELA:
I think the owner is from Signas-Five.

12
00:01:05,951 --> 00:01:07,953
Signoids? On our block?

13
00:01:08,078 --> 00:01:11,331
Fi and foo! They should go back
where they came from!

14
00:01:11,415 --> 00:01:12,916
Professor, please!

15
00:01:13,250 --> 00:01:15,335
Society's never gonna make any progress

16
00:01:15,419 --> 00:01:17,713
until we all learn
to pretend to like each other.

17
00:01:17,921 --> 00:01:21,133
Now, let's go over there and make
these hideous strangers feel welcome.

18
00:01:21,341 --> 00:01:22,342
No!

19
00:01:22,759 --> 00:01:24,970
You sure about these chairs?

20
00:01:25,179 --> 00:01:28,056
Guidebooks says human legs
bend down at knee.

21
00:01:28,265 --> 00:01:29,808
It's okay, Mama.

22
00:01:29,975 --> 00:01:33,937
Anyone-a complains,
I bend legs up for free!

23
00:01:34,479 --> 00:01:36,106
Ooh! Customers!

24
00:01:38,650 --> 00:01:40,861
Welcome to Earth Pizza Store!

25
00:01:41,111 --> 00:01:43,655
Here, sit! I bend the knees for you.

26
00:01:44,531 --> 00:01:45,908
Ooh, that's comfy.

27
00:01:49,745 --> 00:01:53,290
Okay, now, what kind of pizza goes in you?

28
00:01:54,458 --> 00:01:57,794
Silt? Asbestos? We got guano, very fresh.

29
00:01:58,212 --> 00:02:00,839
Uh... Mmm. Do you have any food?

30
00:02:01,006 --> 00:02:05,469
Here, try a deep-a dish a-pizza.
Contains-a four kind-a things.

31
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:14,561
BOTH: Ugh!

32
00:02:14,811 --> 00:02:17,606
I don't mean to offend,
but this tastes like vomit.

33
00:02:17,773 --> 00:02:19,733
- Thank you!
- No, actually,

34
00:02:19,858 --> 00:02:22,444
I did mean to offend a little.
This is awful.

35
00:02:23,403 --> 00:02:27,449
(BOTH YELLING IN FICTITIOUS LANGUAGE)

36
00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:31,370
(BOTH WAIL LOUDLY)

37
00:02:32,371 --> 00:02:35,290
Hey, hey, what's wrong?
Was it something Leela said?

38
00:02:36,083 --> 00:02:41,004
We come-a to Earth to start new life,
raise fat, spoiled Earth kids,

39
00:02:41,129 --> 00:02:44,216
hang many underwear
from Earth clothesline,

40
00:02:44,341 --> 00:02:46,051
live Earthican dream.

41
00:02:47,177 --> 00:02:49,721
(BOTH CONTINUE WAILING)

42
00:02:49,888 --> 00:02:53,183
Aw, don't cry, foreign people.
I used to work in a pizzeria.

43
00:02:53,308 --> 00:02:55,644
And as soon as I stop
hallucinating and blasting puke,

44
00:02:55,769 --> 00:02:58,230
I'm gonna teach you
to sell pizza, Earth-style.

45
00:02:58,397 --> 00:03:01,400
Oh, thank you, magic biped!

46
00:03:03,777 --> 00:03:05,779
You save us-a, sir.

47
00:03:05,904 --> 00:03:09,408
If we cannot-a make Earth Pizza
our dream will die.

48
00:03:09,533 --> 00:03:12,619
Just like rats we crushed
to make the wine.

49
00:03:20,127 --> 00:03:22,629
For starters,
only use quality ingredients.

50
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:24,882
Case in point? No more live bees.

51
00:03:25,048 --> 00:03:26,717
(BUZZING)

52
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,510
Oregano works equally well.

53
00:03:28,677 --> 00:03:31,054
And when you put pizzas in the oven,
don't get in with them.

54
00:03:31,513 --> 00:03:33,098
Hey! Ocupado!

55
00:03:34,099 --> 00:03:37,394
Most important of all,
is the big screen TV.

56
00:03:38,353 --> 00:03:40,397
Human families
need a TV while they're eating,

57
00:03:40,522 --> 00:03:42,232
so they don't have to talk to each other.

58
00:03:43,025 --> 00:03:45,027
Ah, the Earthican pastime.

59
00:03:45,110 --> 00:03:46,111
Blernsball!

60
00:03:47,738 --> 00:03:48,739
(CROWD CHEERING)

61
00:03:48,822 --> 00:03:51,074
BOB UECKER: Mulligan drives the ball.

62
00:03:51,158 --> 00:03:53,994
It's going...going
and caught by the shortstop.

63
00:03:54,077 --> 00:03:55,454
Mets lose again.

64
00:03:55,579 --> 00:03:59,666
Man, I haven't seen play this bad
since the days of Bob Uecker.

65
00:03:59,875 --> 00:04:02,544
This is Bob Uecker saying
thanks for watching.

66
00:04:03,253 --> 00:04:06,840
Mets? Short-a-stoppa? Pinching the hitter?

67
00:04:06,965 --> 00:04:09,343
I don't understand this Blerns-a-ball.

68
00:04:09,426 --> 00:04:12,095
Well, if you're gonna be Earthicans,
we'll have to teach you.

69
00:04:12,221 --> 00:04:15,182
How about your pizzeria
plays a game against Planet Express?

70
00:04:15,349 --> 00:04:18,393
- Oh, but you'll need nine players.
- No problem.

71
00:04:18,602 --> 00:04:21,647
(SHOUTING IN FICTITIOUS LANGUAGE)

72
00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:26,235
Play the ball!

73
00:04:31,990 --> 00:04:34,618
(DOG BARKING)

74
00:04:36,537 --> 00:04:38,997
(ALL SHOUTING GIBBERISH)

75
00:04:43,502 --> 00:04:46,672
Go, team! Beat those no-good Signoids!

76
00:04:47,005 --> 00:04:50,551
Show them they stink in a game
they've never played before!

77
00:04:54,596 --> 00:04:57,850
Ah, this is-a why I love Earth-a.

78
00:04:58,016 --> 00:05:03,355
Beautiful star-brightened day,
friendly Blernsball game with chum pals.

79
00:05:03,605 --> 00:05:05,315
So pleasant for everybody.

80
00:05:06,942 --> 00:05:07,943
(GRUNTS) Oh!

81
00:05:08,277 --> 00:05:10,112
Hit by a pitch. Take your base.

82
00:05:10,362 --> 00:05:15,242
(GASPS) Sorry about that! I guess
I needed a few more warm-up pitches.

83
00:05:15,534 --> 00:05:16,535
(GROANS)

84
00:05:19,037 --> 00:05:20,747
No batter! No batter!

85
00:05:22,624 --> 00:05:25,002
- No batter anymore.
- Take your base.

86
00:05:25,335 --> 00:05:29,381
I didn't mean to hit you!
I have some trouble with depth perception.

87
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:32,134
Yeah. Me too, now.

88
00:05:33,343 --> 00:05:37,264
Hey, batter, batter, batter, batter! Hey,
batter, batter, batter, batter...

89
00:05:37,347 --> 00:05:39,016
- Duck!
- Take your base.

90
00:05:42,144 --> 00:05:46,523
Please, lady! I want to live.
Can I use bat to protect head? Ow!

91
00:05:46,815 --> 00:05:48,108
Apparently not.

92
00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:52,029
(LAUGHS)
Check out the one-eyed bean machine!

93
00:05:52,529 --> 00:05:54,198
(GROANING)

94
00:05:55,157 --> 00:05:57,659
Hooray! I make a score point!

95
00:05:58,785 --> 00:06:01,705
Leela, you beaned a run in.
You'd better let me pitch.

96
00:06:01,788 --> 00:06:03,665
But I've got a no-hitter going.

97
00:06:03,790 --> 00:06:06,543
(SIGHS) You're right. Here.

98
00:06:06,710 --> 00:06:07,711
(CRIES OUT)

99
00:06:08,253 --> 00:06:10,130
(CROWD CHEERING)

100
00:06:10,214 --> 00:06:13,133
Don't take her out! She's a firecracker!

101
00:06:14,259 --> 00:06:15,969
Excuse me. I'd like to talk to you.

102
00:06:16,303 --> 00:06:17,513
Am I under arrest?

103
00:06:17,679 --> 00:06:19,806
Wait! I know you!

104
00:06:19,890 --> 00:06:23,018
You're the sleaze bag who owns
the Ultimate Robot Fighting League.

105
00:06:23,101 --> 00:06:26,730
Not anymore. Now, I'm the sleaze bag
who owns the New New York Mets!

106
00:06:26,813 --> 00:06:29,441
The Mets? Those bums are worse than me!

107
00:06:29,775 --> 00:06:32,528
Close to it.
But, they don't draw a crowd like you.

108
00:06:32,611 --> 00:06:34,738
Which is why I want
to sign ya to the team.

109
00:06:35,030 --> 00:06:36,448
Oh, you mean...

110
00:06:36,532 --> 00:06:40,452
I'd be the first woman ever
to play major league Blernsball?

111
00:06:40,619 --> 00:06:43,163
Well yeah, but basically,
it'd just be a publicity stunt.

112
00:06:43,413 --> 00:06:46,542
I figure a one-eyed lady skull-buster
might bring out the freak show crowd.

113
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:51,129
Wow! The first woman ever
to play major league Blernsball!

114
00:06:51,213 --> 00:06:52,839
Again, yeah.
But basically, you'd just be...

115
00:06:52,923 --> 00:06:54,758
Yippee!

116
00:07:01,598 --> 00:07:06,061
Ta-dah! The first woman ever to play
major league Blernsball!

117
00:07:06,270 --> 00:07:08,856
- How do I look?
- Like a sexy Yogi Berra.

118
00:07:08,981 --> 00:07:11,525
Uh, why is your number seven-eights?

119
00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:13,569
All the whole numbers have been retired.

120
00:07:13,735 --> 00:07:17,114
Well, I must say I'm impressed.
You look just like a ball player.

121
00:07:17,656 --> 00:07:20,784
- Can I pat you on the butt?
- Fry, I'm a professional athlete.

122
00:07:20,909 --> 00:07:22,119
So, go ahead.

123
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,997
Oh, now I'm too nervous.

124
00:07:26,081 --> 00:07:28,208
(CROWD CHEERING)

125
00:07:36,967 --> 00:07:38,802
UECKER:
Well, folks, it's only the fifth inning,

126
00:07:38,927 --> 00:07:41,054
but the Swedes have already
turned this one into a laffer.

127
00:07:41,471 --> 00:07:42,931
And that's with two "f's!"

128
00:07:43,015 --> 00:07:45,934
The crowd is pouring
out of the stadium L.A. style!

129
00:07:48,061 --> 00:07:51,899
Skipper, we're losing the crowd.
Put in our new novelty act, Leela.

130
00:07:51,982 --> 00:07:52,983
(GASPS)

131
00:07:53,525 --> 00:07:56,195
Nag daggit!
I already put in the circus clown!

132
00:07:56,278 --> 00:08:00,032
Yeah, but he bunted. Clowns are only funny
when they swing away!

133
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:03,535
UECKER: Your attention, please.
Now pitching for the Mets...

134
00:08:03,869 --> 00:08:05,871
Turanga Leela!

135
00:08:07,706 --> 00:08:09,249
A one-eyed woman.

136
00:08:09,583 --> 00:08:10,667
- Hmm?
- What?

137
00:08:11,335 --> 00:08:14,379
Whoo-hoo! Come on! Throw like a girl!

138
00:08:14,463 --> 00:08:16,256
Go! Leela! Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

139
00:08:16,381 --> 00:08:18,091
Too much eyeliner!

140
00:08:19,092 --> 00:08:21,303
UECKER:
This is history in the making, folks!

141
00:08:21,428 --> 00:08:24,515
Bjornson steps up to the plate
and Leela delivers.

142
00:08:25,015 --> 00:08:26,391
Oh, gee!

143
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:27,893
Bull’s-eye!

144
00:08:28,018 --> 00:08:30,437
UECKER: Ooh! An inauspicious start

145
00:08:30,521 --> 00:08:33,023
for the career
of the first woman Blernsballer!

146
00:08:35,943 --> 00:08:36,944
Oh!

147
00:08:37,027 --> 00:08:38,987
An inauspicious continuation

148
00:08:39,071 --> 00:08:41,281
for the career
of the first woman Blernsballer.

149
00:08:42,449 --> 00:08:44,326
(CROWD SNICKERING)

150
00:08:53,085 --> 00:08:56,838
(CHANTING) Bean! Bean! Bean!

151
00:09:02,094 --> 00:09:03,095
Oh!

152
00:09:03,178 --> 00:09:04,179
(CHEERING)

153
00:09:04,263 --> 00:09:06,765
Ouch! It's a three bean ball salad!

154
00:09:06,890 --> 00:09:09,351
The Mets fans love it, though.
And who can blame them?

155
00:09:09,434 --> 00:09:12,062
They haven't had
much to cheer about this year. Oh!

156
00:09:12,229 --> 00:09:13,230
(CHEERING)

157
00:09:17,776 --> 00:09:19,403
Kid, that was great!

158
00:09:19,528 --> 00:09:22,906
You got us more publicity
than a cowboy in a shark tank!

159
00:09:23,198 --> 00:09:25,158
Poor Tex. He was quite a shark.

160
00:09:28,161 --> 00:09:29,913
(POWER DRAINING)

161
00:09:30,038 --> 00:09:32,291
Hey! Hey! Oh! Come on! Sorry.

162
00:09:32,499 --> 00:09:33,667
I win.

163
00:09:33,876 --> 00:09:35,085
Oop! Sorry.

164
00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:36,879
(POWER SURGING)

165
00:09:37,546 --> 00:09:39,006
Bender, how did you get in here?

166
00:09:39,172 --> 00:09:42,301
As your agent,
I have access to you at all times.

167
00:09:42,426 --> 00:09:43,886
Since when are you my agent?

168
00:09:44,303 --> 00:09:47,347
- (CELL PHONE RINGS)
- Quiet! Call comin' in. Yes?

169
00:09:48,098 --> 00:09:50,517
A big endorsement deal
for Leela? How much?

170
00:09:50,934 --> 00:09:55,063
Hey! You put a one and two zeros
in front of that, or we pass!

171
00:09:55,355 --> 00:09:56,356
Deal!

172
00:09:56,690 --> 00:09:59,109
Bender, that's great!
How much did you get me?

173
00:09:59,318 --> 00:10:01,069
One hundred dollars!

174
00:10:04,489 --> 00:10:08,410
(IN MONOTONE) As a pitcher,
I serve up plenty of bean balls.

175
00:10:08,702 --> 00:10:11,788
So, I know good beans when I see them.

176
00:10:11,997 --> 00:10:15,083
Bean-Bay Beans! They're the beaniest!

177
00:10:16,710 --> 00:10:17,711
DIRECTOR: Cut!

178
00:10:18,754 --> 00:10:21,298
(CROWD CHANTING) Bean! Bean! Bean!

179
00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:25,177
UECKER: In very short order,
Leela has become a fan favorite.

180
00:10:33,352 --> 00:10:34,770
(SIRENS BLARING)

181
00:10:37,981 --> 00:10:39,483
You're the best, babe!

182
00:10:39,566 --> 00:10:41,818
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)
- Hang on. Call comin' in. What's that?

183
00:10:42,069 --> 00:10:45,030
Hey, you put a one and two zeroes
n front of that, or we pass!

184
00:10:45,531 --> 00:10:47,699
- Deal!
- So, what did you get me?

185
00:10:47,824 --> 00:10:50,118
A thousand and one pesos.

186
00:10:50,244 --> 00:10:51,787
- (BUZZER SOUNDS)
- (CLAPBOARD CLACKS)

187
00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:55,749
(SPEAKING FRACTURED SPANISH)

188
00:11:03,507 --> 00:11:06,969
Cut! Okay.
Now do one with the bean suit on.

189
00:11:07,886 --> 00:11:10,389
(CROWD MURMURING)

190
00:11:13,016 --> 00:11:15,435
Leela really bringin' in the customers.

191
00:11:15,561 --> 00:11:18,856
This keep up,
we need to buy second sauce toilet!

192
00:11:19,064 --> 00:11:20,983
When I grow up, I want to injure men

193
00:11:21,066 --> 00:11:23,735
by throwing stuff at them,
just like you, Leela.

194
00:11:23,819 --> 00:11:25,195
Will you sign my magazine?

195
00:11:25,988 --> 00:11:29,116
Aw, sure thing, sweetie.
Who should I make it out to?

196
00:11:29,324 --> 00:11:30,492
Well, uh...

197
00:11:31,076 --> 00:11:33,912
- to e-Bay?
- That's a popular name today.

198
00:11:34,121 --> 00:11:35,622
Little "E," big "B"?

199
00:11:40,002 --> 00:11:41,003
Heh, heh.

200
00:11:41,169 --> 00:11:43,589
Five bucks an autograph, 200 fans,

201
00:11:43,839 --> 00:11:47,092
add a one and two zeroes in front of that,
we got ourselves a wad!

202
00:11:47,426 --> 00:11:49,011
I'm not doing this for the "wad!"

203
00:11:49,178 --> 00:11:52,514
I'm doing it for all the struggling
female athletes who need a role model.

204
00:11:52,723 --> 00:11:54,808
Yeah, a role model for how to stink.

205
00:11:54,892 --> 00:11:56,351
- Wow!
- What?

206
00:11:56,685 --> 00:11:58,604
- Who are you?
- Jackie Anderson.

207
00:11:58,854 --> 00:12:01,356
I'm on the Blernsball team at NNYU.

208
00:12:01,481 --> 00:12:03,817
And I was hoping to get to play
in the majors soon.

209
00:12:03,942 --> 00:12:05,986
Oh, following in my footsteps.

210
00:12:06,195 --> 00:12:07,779
(SCOFFS) God forbid!

211
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:10,157
Your little freak show
is makin' it impossible

212
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:12,910
for real female ballplayers
to be taken seriously.

213
00:12:13,577 --> 00:12:15,370
I hope you're proud of yourself.

214
00:12:21,877 --> 00:12:22,878
(WHIMPERS)

215
00:12:24,421 --> 00:12:25,422
(SOBBING)

216
00:12:25,547 --> 00:12:29,051
All right, show's over, no refunds.
You heard the robot. Get out!

217
00:12:32,638 --> 00:12:33,639
I'm a fool.

218
00:12:33,889 --> 00:12:37,351
The fans haven't been cheering "for" me.
They've been cheering "at" me.

219
00:12:37,601 --> 00:12:39,228
Don't be upset, Leela.

220
00:12:39,311 --> 00:12:42,814
You, uh... Well, you look
really cute in your uniform.

221
00:12:42,940 --> 00:12:45,275
That's what makes it so sad!

222
00:12:45,734 --> 00:12:48,070
I thought I was doing something heroic!

223
00:12:48,278 --> 00:12:51,281
You are! What about that little girl
you visited in the hospital!

224
00:12:51,406 --> 00:12:53,534
You know the one I mean. The one who died?

225
00:12:53,742 --> 00:12:55,118
You're right.

226
00:12:55,452 --> 00:12:57,246
I can't let people down anymore.

227
00:12:57,704 --> 00:12:59,122
As God is my witness,

228
00:12:59,289 --> 00:13:02,709
I vow to earn the respect
of girls and women everywhere!

229
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:07,172
I will become
the best Blernsball player of all time!

230
00:13:07,297 --> 00:13:10,175
(CLEARS THROAT)
That's statistically impossible.

231
00:13:10,384 --> 00:13:13,262
In 77 innings,
you haven't gotten a single out.

232
00:13:13,470 --> 00:13:17,432
At this rate, you're sure to go down as
the worst Blernsball player of all time.

233
00:13:17,641 --> 00:13:20,102
Oh. Then I have a new vow.

234
00:13:20,352 --> 00:13:21,937
I solemnly swear,

235
00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:26,233
I will become "Not the worst
Blernsball player of all time!"

236
00:13:27,901 --> 00:13:28,902
FARNSWORTH: Oh!

237
00:13:45,961 --> 00:13:49,298
Hey, look! The players who broke
the various color barriers!

238
00:13:50,424 --> 00:13:55,470
When will man learn that all races
are equally inferior to robots?

239
00:13:56,430 --> 00:13:59,725
Ah, here we are.
The worst player in history.

240
00:13:59,850 --> 00:14:01,685
If I could be just
a little better than him,

241
00:14:01,768 --> 00:14:03,812
I can slink away with my head held high.

242
00:14:04,021 --> 00:14:08,025
It says he once struck out when his tongue
got stuck to an unusually cold bat.

243
00:14:08,150 --> 00:14:10,444
And here he is trying to make a catch
with an oven mitt!

244
00:14:10,652 --> 00:14:12,654
It's even a crummy hologram.

245
00:14:12,905 --> 00:14:16,533
I'm not a hologram. Though I am crummy.
Hank Aaron the 24th

246
00:14:16,783 --> 00:14:19,745
Hank Aaron the 24th?
How could you play so blow-fully?

247
00:14:19,870 --> 00:14:21,455
The original Hank Aaron was great!

248
00:14:21,663 --> 00:14:25,626
No, I was better than great.
I was the home-run king.

249
00:14:25,834 --> 00:14:27,044
- Neat!
- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

250
00:14:27,628 --> 00:14:31,131
So, Hank? The bad Hank?
Just how blowful were you?

251
00:14:31,298 --> 00:14:34,051
- Well, I had a low battin' average.
- Low?

252
00:14:34,176 --> 00:14:38,305
It was zero, you fungo! You went
your whole career without getting a hit.

253
00:14:38,639 --> 00:14:39,932
Leela can beat that.

254
00:14:40,015 --> 00:14:42,142
She's pitched her whole career
without getting an out!

255
00:14:42,267 --> 00:14:44,520
(LAUGHS) You stink, lady!

256
00:14:44,728 --> 00:14:47,606
Hey, Junior?
She belongs in the exhibit instead of you!

257
00:14:47,689 --> 00:14:50,734
Forget it.
This job's too cushy to give up.

258
00:14:51,985 --> 00:14:55,697
Ah, Wade Boggs, goes down smooth.

259
00:14:55,864 --> 00:14:59,493
Look, I don't want to be in this exhibit.
That's why I need your help,

260
00:14:59,785 --> 00:15:02,788
so I can be one tiny iota
less pathetic than you.

261
00:15:02,955 --> 00:15:05,415
Oh, I can't help you play
better than Tiny Iota.

262
00:15:05,541 --> 00:15:09,419
That guy was great!
But, I'll teach you everything I know.

263
00:15:11,964 --> 00:15:13,715
Okay, let's see what you can do.

264
00:15:13,799 --> 00:15:17,386
One thing she can do is lodge a ball
in the dead center of your brain.

265
00:15:17,469 --> 00:15:18,720
You'd better get a batting helmet.

266
00:15:22,558 --> 00:15:24,476
All right. Low and away.

267
00:15:25,811 --> 00:15:27,813
- (GRUNTS)
- Oh!

268
00:15:31,108 --> 00:15:32,109
Ah...

269
00:15:32,985 --> 00:15:34,570
Okay. Try it again.

270
00:15:34,736 --> 00:15:37,447
But this time,
keep your eye "off the ball."

271
00:15:37,531 --> 00:15:39,366
You mean keep your eye "on the ball"?

272
00:15:39,658 --> 00:15:41,910
Hey, lady?
Which one of us is in the Hall of Fame?

273
00:15:42,327 --> 00:15:43,996
Psst! You're holding the bat upside down.

274
00:15:44,663 --> 00:15:45,831
Just pitch the ball.

275
00:15:46,498 --> 00:15:48,792
Okay. Eye off the ball.

276
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:51,211
(GRUNTS)

277
00:15:52,421 --> 00:15:55,215
- Strike!
- Yeah, you did it, Leela!

278
00:15:55,424 --> 00:15:57,551
Oh! I didn't hit the batter!

279
00:15:57,801 --> 00:16:00,637
For once I was pitching
and not just belly itching!

280
00:16:00,762 --> 00:16:03,932
Oh, you got that, too?
I think there's a rash goin' around.

281
00:16:05,893 --> 00:16:08,604
(ORGAN PLAYING)

282
00:16:12,441 --> 00:16:15,527
Welcome to Fenway Park,
home of the Boston Poindexters,

283
00:16:15,611 --> 00:16:18,155
where the Mets close out
a season that will rank among

284
00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:20,365
mankind's most awful crimes.

285
00:16:22,868 --> 00:16:24,870
Hey, you opened a franchise!

286
00:16:24,995 --> 00:16:28,957
Yes! Our biggest seller
is Leela's Bean Pizza!

287
00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:32,711
Six kinds of beans,
plus several things that look like beans.

288
00:16:33,045 --> 00:16:34,338
Beans, huh?

289
00:16:35,130 --> 00:16:38,675
Mmm, this is great!
How do you make the crust so fizzy?

290
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,803
Uh, uh, uh. Ancient Signoid secret.

291
00:16:42,095 --> 00:16:46,558
My husband. Some hotshot.
Here's his ancient Signoid secret.

292
00:16:47,559 --> 00:16:51,021
Live hornets.
We smoosh them right into dough.

293
00:16:51,188 --> 00:16:53,732
Look, I don't care
if there's horse manure in it.

294
00:16:53,857 --> 00:16:56,318
- That's-a good.
- I want to buy this franchise.

295
00:16:56,527 --> 00:16:58,529
How does a $100,000 sound?

296
00:16:58,737 --> 00:17:02,407
Forget it-a! We come to Earth
to make-a pizza, not-a money!

297
00:17:02,533 --> 00:17:04,576
No, Blek! Other way around.

298
00:17:04,743 --> 00:17:06,411
Oh, right. Offer accepted.

299
00:17:06,954 --> 00:17:09,081
(ALL CHEERING AND LAUGHING)

300
00:17:10,082 --> 00:17:14,336
Well, fans, Boston's turning the last game
of the season into a real squeaker.

301
00:17:14,461 --> 00:17:16,505
And that's with three "E's!"

302
00:17:16,672 --> 00:17:19,383
Two men on,
and they're down to their last out.

303
00:17:20,801 --> 00:17:24,888
Come on, Skipper. It's my last chance
to prove I'm not the worst player ever.

304
00:17:25,055 --> 00:17:26,932
- Please put me in.
- No.

305
00:17:27,057 --> 00:17:28,684
We're actually winning this game!

306
00:17:28,851 --> 00:17:31,311
You only go in as a joke
when we're eight runs behind,

307
00:17:31,478 --> 00:17:34,439
or when our other pitchers
sneak out early to beat the traffic!

308
00:17:35,065 --> 00:17:38,026
Come on!
Let's see some fundamentals out there!

309
00:17:38,110 --> 00:17:39,111
(CLOWN NOSE HONKS)

310
00:17:39,236 --> 00:17:41,446
And not clown fundamentals!

311
00:17:42,906 --> 00:17:44,616
(CROWD CHEERING)

312
00:17:47,786 --> 00:17:53,292
Ah! Darn! Darn! Darn!
Now the bases are loaded!

313
00:17:53,417 --> 00:17:56,753
Isn't there a man on this team
who can get one more out?

314
00:17:56,962 --> 00:17:58,755
- I can!
- I repeat.

315
00:17:58,964 --> 00:18:02,509
- Isn't there a man on this...
- I've been training with Hank Aaron!

316
00:18:02,634 --> 00:18:04,970
You've been training with the Hank Aaron?

317
00:18:05,053 --> 00:18:06,805
I've been training with a Hank Aaron.

318
00:18:07,139 --> 00:18:09,349
All right, then. Get in there

319
00:18:09,433 --> 00:18:12,060
and pitch like you've never
pitched like you before!

320
00:18:13,604 --> 00:18:17,232
UECKER:
Now pitching for the Mets, Turanga Leela!

321
00:18:18,442 --> 00:18:20,986
(CHANTING) Bean! Bean! Bean!

322
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:22,571
Yay, Leela!

323
00:18:24,489 --> 00:18:26,867
- Go, Leela!
- Put her right down the pike!

324
00:18:27,075 --> 00:18:30,162
Strike him out, Leela! Do it
for the hundreds of women everywhere!

325
00:18:30,329 --> 00:18:32,748
CROWD: Bean! Bean! Bean!

326
00:18:32,831 --> 00:18:38,754
Your attention! Now pinch-hitting
for the Poindexters, Jackie Anderson.

327
00:18:38,962 --> 00:18:40,881
(CROWD GROANING)

328
00:18:41,048 --> 00:18:42,257
Will you look at that?

329
00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:44,927
College Blernsball's finest female hitter

330
00:18:45,010 --> 00:18:48,722
making her big league debut against
pro ball's worst female anything?

331
00:18:49,014 --> 00:18:52,893
I've never seen anything this bizarre.
And I've seen Mr. Belvedere naked! Whoo!

332
00:18:54,102 --> 00:18:56,688
Keep cool.
She's just like any other player.

333
00:18:56,855 --> 00:18:59,191
She puts on her sports bra
one arm at a time.

334
00:19:03,987 --> 00:19:05,322
Strike one!

335
00:19:05,447 --> 00:19:06,532
(CROWD GASPS)

336
00:19:06,615 --> 00:19:09,743
(GASPS) Strike one! A personal best!

337
00:19:11,912 --> 00:19:14,373
Strike two!

338
00:19:17,292 --> 00:19:19,211
UECKER: Remember, fans,
this exciting moment

339
00:19:19,336 --> 00:19:22,798
is brought to you by Month Old Franks,
the hotdogs with experience.

340
00:19:22,881 --> 00:19:23,882
Mmm, mmm.

341
00:19:53,370 --> 00:19:54,371
(FRY GASPS)

342
00:19:54,788 --> 00:19:55,789
(CROWD GASPS)

343
00:19:55,998 --> 00:19:56,999
(BENDER GIGGLES)

344
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:02,462
(BELL RINGING)

345
00:20:02,629 --> 00:20:04,131
(FIREWORKS WHISTLE)

346
00:20:04,214 --> 00:20:05,215
(SQUEAKING)

347
00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:11,388
And grand slam blern!

348
00:20:11,513 --> 00:20:14,183
The Mets lose! Their season is over,

349
00:20:14,266 --> 00:20:18,437
and no question, Leela, the first
woman ever to reach the majors,

350
00:20:18,562 --> 00:20:22,816
will go down as the single worst player
in the history of Blernsball.

351
00:20:23,275 --> 00:20:27,112
She's taught the world
that being a bum knows no gender.

352
00:20:28,155 --> 00:20:31,783
And yet, tonight we have witnessed
the beginning of a great career

353
00:20:31,909 --> 00:20:35,996
for the first woman to play
the sport well. Jackie Anderson!

354
00:20:38,790 --> 00:20:40,292
(SNIFFLES)

355
00:20:41,084 --> 00:20:42,878
- Leela?
- Jackie.

356
00:20:43,212 --> 00:20:47,299
I guess you were right.
I'm a lousy role model. I'm sorry.

357
00:20:47,549 --> 00:20:51,512
No, don't be. It turns out,
you were an inspiration after all.

358
00:20:52,346 --> 00:20:53,847
- I was?
- Uh-huh.

359
00:20:54,014 --> 00:20:56,266
I mean, you were so awful
that women everywhere

360
00:20:56,350 --> 00:20:58,393
set out to prove
they don't stink as bad as you.

361
00:20:58,519 --> 00:21:00,020
You know, like a pig or somethin'.

362
00:21:00,187 --> 00:21:04,691
Oh. That's so kind of you.
I guess I made a difference after all.

363
00:21:05,108 --> 00:21:10,864
You absolutely did, Leela. Now, please.
Please retire? Immediately.

364
00:21:13,242 --> 00:21:15,619
Hey, kid? Catch.

365
00:21:16,662 --> 00:21:17,663
(GRUNTS)

366
00:21:23,752 --> 00:21:24,753
(SIGHS)

367
00:21:25,420 --> 00:21:28,924
Well, at least you're still the worst
football player of all time.

368
00:21:29,258 --> 00:21:30,425
Yeah.

369
00:21:31,051 --> 00:21:32,344
Yeah.

370
00:21:47,192 --> 00:21:49,194
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)