1 00:00:04,301 --> 00:00:06,387 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:00:35,082 --> 00:00:37,876 MAN: Shatner's log:air date, unknown. 3 00:00:38,001 --> 00:00:40,087 The impossible has happened. 4 00:00:40,212 --> 00:00:43,924 It would take days to recount the events I've witnessed. 5 00:00:44,049 --> 00:00:46,760 So, settle in. It all began... 6 00:00:46,885 --> 00:00:49,888 Quiet, you! This court-martial is now in session. 7 00:00:50,013 --> 00:00:52,766 The honorably sexy Zapp Brannigan residing. 8 00:00:52,891 --> 00:00:54,768 Bring in the accused. 9 00:00:57,104 --> 00:00:59,273 - (ALL GASPING) - Oh, my. 10 00:00:59,398 --> 00:01:02,192 Philip J. Fry, you stand accused 11 00:01:02,317 --> 00:01:05,112 of traveling to the forbidden planet Omega 3, 12 00:01:05,237 --> 00:01:08,824 a crime punishable by 12 concurrent death sentences. 13 00:01:08,949 --> 00:01:12,995 - Do you understand the charges? - One beep for "yes," two beeps for "no." 14 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:16,874 - (BEEPS ONCE) - Yes. So noted. Do you plead guilty? 15 00:01:16,999 --> 00:01:21,211 - (BEEPS TWICE) - Double yes. Guilty! 16 00:01:21,336 --> 00:01:24,048 I will now carry out the sentence. Kif, my gun. 17 00:01:24,173 --> 00:01:26,050 Wait! He pled "not guilty." 18 00:01:26,175 --> 00:01:28,218 Order! Order in the court! 19 00:01:28,343 --> 00:01:33,390 Very well then, Mr. Fry. Please recount the events that led you to be guilty. 20 00:01:33,515 --> 00:01:36,018 (RAPID BEEPING) 21 00:01:41,648 --> 00:01:43,442 The professor said he was taking a brief nap, 22 00:01:43,525 --> 00:01:45,235 so we only have time for six movies. 23 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:48,447 Let's take these six Jim Carrey movies and record over them! 24 00:01:48,572 --> 00:01:51,241 You know what six movies average out to be really good? 25 00:01:51,325 --> 00:01:53,118 The first six Star Trek movies! 26 00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:56,955 - (ALL GASPING) - Everybody hit the deck! 27 00:01:57,081 --> 00:01:59,208 Shh! Those words are forbidden. 28 00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:02,002 - What words? Star Trek? - (ALARM SOUNDING) 29 00:02:02,127 --> 00:02:03,837 - Shh! - Shut your gills! 30 00:02:04,004 --> 00:02:05,005 (SIREN WAILING) 31 00:02:05,089 --> 00:02:08,050 That sound. It's patrol car 718! Hide him! 32 00:02:13,097 --> 00:02:14,973 (SCATTING) 33 00:02:16,308 --> 00:02:18,018 (RAPID BEEPING) 34 00:02:18,143 --> 00:02:20,020 The court is intrigued. 35 00:02:20,145 --> 00:02:22,773 Perhaps we could hear more about these forbidden words 36 00:02:22,898 --> 00:02:26,485 from someone with a sexily seductive voice. 37 00:02:26,610 --> 00:02:30,697 With pleasure. You see, the show was banned after the Star Trek wars. 38 00:02:30,823 --> 00:02:33,158 You mean the vast migration of Star Wars fans? 39 00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:35,869 Uh, no. That was the Star Wars trek. 40 00:02:38,247 --> 00:02:40,707 By the 23rd century, Star Trek fandom 41 00:02:40,833 --> 00:02:45,129 had evolved from a loose association of nerdswith skin problems 42 00:02:45,254 --> 00:02:47,673 into a full-blown religion. 43 00:02:47,798 --> 00:02:50,676 And Scotty beamed them to the Klingon ship 44 00:02:50,801 --> 00:02:53,053 where they would be no Tribble at all. 45 00:02:53,178 --> 00:02:56,223 All power to the engines. 46 00:02:56,348 --> 00:02:59,059 NICHELLE NICHOLS: As country after country fellunder its influence, 47 00:02:59,184 --> 00:03:02,771 world leaders became threatened by the movement's power. 48 00:03:02,896 --> 00:03:05,107 And so the Trekkies were executed 49 00:03:05,232 --> 00:03:07,776 in the manner most befitting virgins. 50 00:03:07,901 --> 00:03:10,112 - Whoa! - He's dead, Jim. 51 00:03:10,237 --> 00:03:13,741 He's dead, Jim. He's dead, Jim. 52 00:03:13,866 --> 00:03:16,827 WALTER KOENIG: Finally, the sacred texts were banned. 53 00:03:18,412 --> 00:03:22,332 GEORGE TAKEI: The last copies of the 79episodes and six movies 54 00:03:22,458 --> 00:03:26,170 were dumped on the forbidden world Omega 3, 55 00:03:26,295 --> 00:03:30,799 along with that blooper reel where the door doesn'tclose all the way. 56 00:03:30,924 --> 00:03:34,178 Thus, Star Trek was forever scoured from human memory. 57 00:03:34,303 --> 00:03:38,265 Another classic science-fiction show canceled before its time. 58 00:03:38,390 --> 00:03:41,185 Tsk, tsk, tsk. I've never heard of such a brutal 59 00:03:41,310 --> 00:03:44,271 and shocking injustice that I cared so little about. 60 00:03:44,396 --> 00:03:48,317 - Next witness! - Bender the Robot, please take the stand. 61 00:03:49,568 --> 00:03:52,404 She's all yours, buddy. 62 00:03:52,529 --> 00:03:55,240 I'd only met the defendant, Fry, once, 63 00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:57,409 but I knew he was up to no good. 64 00:03:57,534 --> 00:04:00,245 - Please use the beeps. - Oh! 65 00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:02,247 (RAPID BEEPING) 66 00:04:04,458 --> 00:04:08,629 Mr. Nimoy! I came as soon as I heard what happened centuries ago. 67 00:04:08,754 --> 00:04:10,631 I can't believe your show was banned. 68 00:04:10,756 --> 00:04:14,051 I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. 69 00:04:14,176 --> 00:04:16,136 (CLICKING, WHIRRING) 70 00:04:16,261 --> 00:04:19,056 You know... 1966? 71 00:04:19,181 --> 00:04:21,642 Seventy-nine episodes? About 30 good ones? 72 00:04:21,767 --> 00:04:26,021 Oh, really. I've done too many things to remember one particular TV series. 73 00:04:26,146 --> 00:04:28,232 But if... If you want to discuss my books of poetry... 74 00:04:28,357 --> 00:04:30,025 Come on! Remember that episode 75 00:04:30,109 --> 00:04:32,236 where you got high on spores and smacked Kirk around? 76 00:04:32,361 --> 00:04:36,865 No. Perhaps you're thinking of my one-man show about Vincent van Spock. 77 00:04:36,990 --> 00:04:39,284 I... I... I mean van Gogh. Damn! 78 00:04:39,410 --> 00:04:41,245 Aha! You can't escape it. 79 00:04:41,370 --> 00:04:44,331 (SOBBING) Oh, you're right. 80 00:04:44,456 --> 00:04:46,667 I can't. 81 00:04:46,792 --> 00:04:49,837 Uh... Geez, don't get upset. 82 00:04:49,962 --> 00:04:52,047 I mean, okay, I outwitted you, but... 83 00:04:52,172 --> 00:04:55,050 No. It's my fellow cast members. 84 00:04:55,175 --> 00:04:58,637 Three hundred years ago, they left Earth behind. 85 00:05:02,433 --> 00:05:05,436 This planet doesn't appreciate us anymore, Leonard. 86 00:05:05,561 --> 00:05:10,107 Bill, you are, and always shall be, my friend. 87 00:05:10,232 --> 00:05:12,860 But I just signed a six-month lease on my apartment. 88 00:05:12,985 --> 00:05:15,237 I can't walk away from a commitment like that. 89 00:05:15,362 --> 00:05:17,948 Farewell, my friend. 90 00:05:18,073 --> 00:05:20,284 Oh! 91 00:05:27,458 --> 00:05:31,670 (SOBBING) Why did the world turn its back on our obvious greatness? 92 00:05:31,795 --> 00:05:34,256 I'm literally angry with rage! 93 00:05:34,381 --> 00:05:35,632 Your costars may be gone, 94 00:05:35,716 --> 00:05:39,386 but we can still get those episode tapes back for the whole world to see! 95 00:05:39,511 --> 00:05:41,388 Come on! (GROANS) 96 00:05:41,513 --> 00:05:43,307 Yes! Front row! 97 00:05:48,353 --> 00:05:50,856 You can't go to Omega 3! 98 00:05:50,981 --> 00:05:53,067 It's forbidden! I forbid you! 99 00:05:53,192 --> 00:05:56,695 But we have to! The world needs Star Trek to give people hope for the future! 100 00:05:56,820 --> 00:05:59,281 But it's set 800 years in the past. 101 00:05:59,406 --> 00:06:01,241 Yeah! Why is this so important to you? 102 00:06:01,366 --> 00:06:03,327 'Cause it... It taught me so much. 103 00:06:03,452 --> 00:06:05,454 Like how you should accept people, 104 00:06:05,579 --> 00:06:09,792 whether they be black, white, Klingon, or even female. 105 00:06:09,917 --> 00:06:13,337 But most importantly, when I didn't have any friends, 106 00:06:13,462 --> 00:06:15,547 it... It made me feel like maybe I did. 107 00:06:15,672 --> 00:06:19,176 Well, that is touchingly pathetic. 108 00:06:19,301 --> 00:06:21,095 I guess I can't let you go alone. 109 00:06:21,220 --> 00:06:25,432 I'll go too... With Leonard's permission, of course. 110 00:06:29,561 --> 00:06:32,022 - We're entering the Omega system. - (ALARM SOUNDS) 111 00:06:32,147 --> 00:06:35,150 FEMALE VOICE: Warning. You are nowin forbidden space. 112 00:06:35,275 --> 00:06:37,236 Forbidden, schur-schmidden. 113 00:06:37,361 --> 00:06:39,029 What are they gonna do, write a letter? 114 00:06:39,154 --> 00:06:41,240 Ooh, I'm so scared. 115 00:06:41,365 --> 00:06:43,158 - (ALARM SOUNDING) - I've lost control of the ship! 116 00:06:43,283 --> 00:06:45,536 (BABBLING) Lost control of the ship! 117 00:06:58,424 --> 00:07:00,968 - (GASPS) - Oh, dip! 118 00:07:01,093 --> 00:07:02,845 Dip, indeed. 119 00:07:08,392 --> 00:07:10,602 FRY: It's all stuff from that forbidden show. 120 00:07:10,728 --> 00:07:14,440 So many cardboard sets. So many memories. 121 00:07:14,565 --> 00:07:16,817 - If only the others... - WILLIAM SHATNER: I guess that's my cue. 122 00:07:18,777 --> 00:07:20,946 - Bill! - L-Dog! 123 00:07:21,071 --> 00:07:23,157 - Hey! This is wonderful! - Oh, man. 124 00:07:23,282 --> 00:07:26,869 - I feel like hugging you. - Well, I would, except you have no body. 125 00:07:26,994 --> 00:07:29,830 And we're both men. 126 00:07:29,955 --> 00:07:33,333 LEONARD NIMOY: Nichelle! George! Walter! 127 00:07:33,459 --> 00:07:35,627 DeForrest! Welshie! 128 00:07:35,753 --> 00:07:36,754 Welshie? 129 00:07:36,837 --> 00:07:40,424 We did some musical reunion specials in the 2200s. 130 00:07:40,549 --> 00:07:43,093 But the guy who played Scotty had trouble yodeling. 131 00:07:43,218 --> 00:07:46,555 Ever since then, Welshie has been a welcome participant 132 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,307 in our escapades. 133 00:07:48,432 --> 00:07:50,601 Aye! (SPEAKING GIBBERISH) 134 00:07:50,726 --> 00:07:53,437 I can't believe it! How'd you all end up here? 135 00:07:53,562 --> 00:07:57,441 We were on our way to Welshie's cousin's house to stay in the guest room 136 00:07:57,566 --> 00:08:01,904 when our ship was pulled down to this planet and crashed, just like yours. 137 00:08:03,405 --> 00:08:05,032 When we woke up, we had these bodies. 138 00:08:05,157 --> 00:08:07,785 - Say it in Russian. - (GROANS) 139 00:08:07,910 --> 00:08:10,829 Ven vee voke up, vee had these wah-dies. 140 00:08:10,954 --> 00:08:13,207 Eee! Now say nuclear "wessels"! 141 00:08:13,332 --> 00:08:15,417 - No! - We love it here. 142 00:08:15,542 --> 00:08:18,378 Everything is provided for us, and we never age. 143 00:08:18,504 --> 00:08:20,464 Check out these abs. 144 00:08:20,589 --> 00:08:23,467 - Yowza! - But who's doing all this for you? 145 00:08:23,592 --> 00:08:26,387 You know, we never thought about it. We're famous celebrities. 146 00:08:26,512 --> 00:08:29,848 - We're used to this sort of treatment. - MALE VOICE: It is I! 147 00:08:29,973 --> 00:08:33,435 - (ALL GASPING) - Whoa! What a cheesy effect! 148 00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:36,814 I'm not an effect! You doubt my power? 149 00:08:36,939 --> 00:08:39,149 I do! 150 00:08:39,274 --> 00:08:41,652 - Aye! - (ALL GASPING) 151 00:08:41,777 --> 00:08:45,739 - (MANIACAL LAUGHING) - Welshie! 152 00:08:53,497 --> 00:08:57,459 This court will now hear some very sensual testimony 153 00:08:57,584 --> 00:09:00,421 from this court's ex-lover, Turanga Leela. 154 00:09:00,546 --> 00:09:02,548 Go (BEEP) yourself. 155 00:09:02,673 --> 00:09:04,633 (RAPID BEEPING) 156 00:09:04,758 --> 00:09:06,677 Behold another power, 157 00:09:06,802 --> 00:09:10,139 different from the one you saw earlier! 158 00:09:12,975 --> 00:09:16,603 Hey! A body! Buff, tan... 159 00:09:16,729 --> 00:09:18,772 Yeah. This is mine, all right. 160 00:09:18,897 --> 00:09:20,649 All right, you gas. What's the deal? 161 00:09:20,774 --> 00:09:25,612 Centuries ago, the videotaped adventures of the Enterprise crew 162 00:09:25,738 --> 00:09:28,574 rained down upon my planet. 163 00:09:28,699 --> 00:09:30,868 Over and over I watched them, 164 00:09:30,993 --> 00:09:33,579 especially the five with the energy beings. 165 00:09:33,704 --> 00:09:38,500 I am Melllvar! Seer of the Tapes! Knower of the Episodes! 166 00:09:38,625 --> 00:09:42,504 Tremble before my encyclopedic knowledge of Star Trek! 167 00:09:42,629 --> 00:09:44,506 Tremble? I laugh. 168 00:09:44,631 --> 00:09:46,467 Nobody knows more about Star Trek than me! 169 00:09:46,550 --> 00:09:48,385 I beg to differ! 170 00:09:49,928 --> 00:09:53,557 Long have I waited for the one who played Spock. 171 00:09:53,682 --> 00:09:56,602 At last we can begin. 172 00:09:57,561 --> 00:10:00,189 Cool! A Star Trek convention! 173 00:10:00,314 --> 00:10:02,566 Uh... Uh, Melllvar? Can you give us some idea 174 00:10:02,691 --> 00:10:04,568 of how long this is going to last? 175 00:10:04,693 --> 00:10:05,903 Until time stops. 176 00:10:05,986 --> 00:10:07,696 - What? - You can't do this! 177 00:10:07,821 --> 00:10:10,199 Now, we have a full schedule of events. 178 00:10:10,324 --> 00:10:13,577 - Uh, can people who hate Star Trek leave? - Good question. 179 00:10:13,702 --> 00:10:17,456 - No. You have to stay even longer! - (BOTH GRUMBLING) 180 00:10:17,581 --> 00:10:19,625 (SNORING) 181 00:10:19,750 --> 00:10:22,586 Um... Uh... Sign it to Melllvar. 182 00:10:22,711 --> 00:10:24,630 Melllvar has three "L's". 183 00:10:24,755 --> 00:10:28,759 I think I've done enough conventions to know how to spell Melllvar. 184 00:10:30,552 --> 00:10:34,223 - Say "nerd"! - Nerd! 185 00:10:34,348 --> 00:10:36,934 - (MUSIC PLAYING) - I'm Slim Shady. 186 00:10:37,059 --> 00:10:39,436 Yes. I'm the real Shady. 187 00:10:39,561 --> 00:10:43,273 All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating. 188 00:10:43,399 --> 00:10:47,611 So, won't the real Slim Shady please stand up? 189 00:10:47,736 --> 00:10:50,197 Please stand up. Please stand up. 190 00:10:50,322 --> 00:10:53,534 How can you do a spoken-word version of a rap song? 191 00:10:53,659 --> 00:10:55,536 He found a way. 192 00:10:55,661 --> 00:11:00,499 For 100 quatloos, who did the captain maroon on Ceti Alpha Five? 193 00:11:00,624 --> 00:11:02,501 Khan! 194 00:11:02,626 --> 00:11:04,628 - (BELL DINGS) - Uh, Khan? 195 00:11:04,753 --> 00:11:07,423 - Correct! - My button has broken! 196 00:11:07,548 --> 00:11:10,634 The trivia contest is ended. I now have a surprise. 197 00:11:10,759 --> 00:11:13,303 You will perform a fan script 198 00:11:13,429 --> 00:11:15,556 written by the ultimate Trek fan! 199 00:11:15,681 --> 00:11:19,977 - You have my fan script? - I meant me! Melllvar's the ultimate fan! 200 00:11:20,102 --> 00:11:23,439 Oh. I was confused because the scoreboard says something different. 201 00:11:23,564 --> 00:11:26,567 (GRUMBLING) Trivia contest over! Take your scripts! 202 00:11:26,692 --> 00:11:29,486 We have limited rehearsal time. 203 00:11:29,611 --> 00:11:31,780 Now, I didn't make enough copies of the script, 204 00:11:31,905 --> 00:11:35,033 so George and Walter will have to share. 205 00:11:35,159 --> 00:11:37,286 Uh... You probably don't want us 206 00:11:37,369 --> 00:11:39,913 to see you rehearsing, or it'll give away the ending. 207 00:11:40,038 --> 00:11:42,666 That's right! The ending must not be ruined! 208 00:11:42,791 --> 00:11:44,501 - We'll go wait in the ship. - Okay. 209 00:11:44,626 --> 00:11:47,337 Not till I get my 600 quatloos! 210 00:11:50,758 --> 00:11:53,302 This is wrong. We shouldn't have abandoned them there. 211 00:11:53,427 --> 00:11:55,429 I don't know. I'm feelin' pretty good about it. 212 00:11:55,554 --> 00:11:58,849 I didn't want to leave them either, Fry. But what were we supposed to do? 213 00:11:58,974 --> 00:12:02,561 Well, usually on the show, someone would come up with a complicated plan, 214 00:12:02,686 --> 00:12:04,563 then explain it with a simple analogy. 215 00:12:04,688 --> 00:12:08,734 Hmm. If we can reroute engine power through the primary weapons 216 00:12:08,859 --> 00:12:11,528 and reconfigure them to Melllvar's frequency, 217 00:12:11,653 --> 00:12:13,906 that should overload his electro-quantum structure. 218 00:12:14,031 --> 00:12:16,366 Like putting too much air in a balloon! 219 00:12:16,492 --> 00:12:18,744 Of course! It's so simple! 220 00:12:21,914 --> 00:12:25,751 "Alas, my ship, whom I love like a woman, 221 00:12:25,876 --> 00:12:27,753 "is... Disabled." 222 00:12:27,878 --> 00:12:31,131 - Oh, Lord. - "Fascinating, Captain. 223 00:12:31,256 --> 00:12:33,884 "And logical too. Yet we need some help." 224 00:12:34,009 --> 00:12:37,554 "Look, Captain. Melllvar will help us." 225 00:12:41,141 --> 00:12:44,311 "Captain, I wope he will welp our vessel." 226 00:12:44,436 --> 00:12:46,063 - Wessel! - (SHUDDERING) 227 00:12:46,188 --> 00:12:47,940 You're not acting hard enough! 228 00:12:48,023 --> 00:12:50,526 Melllvar, you have to respect your actors. 229 00:12:50,651 --> 00:12:53,737 When I directed Star Trek IV, I got a magnificent performance out of Bill 230 00:12:53,862 --> 00:12:55,739 because I respected him so much. 231 00:12:55,864 --> 00:12:57,741 And when I directed Star Trek V, 232 00:12:57,866 --> 00:13:01,829 I got a magnificent performance out of me because I respected me so much. 233 00:13:05,416 --> 00:13:09,128 Okay! I'm done "recafoobelling" the energy-motron! 234 00:13:09,253 --> 00:13:11,130 Or whatever! 235 00:13:11,255 --> 00:13:13,340 Fire! 236 00:13:16,719 --> 00:13:21,348 "My, what a handsome energy creature you are. 237 00:13:21,473 --> 00:13:23,809 "I love you." 238 00:13:23,934 --> 00:13:27,146 - (SCREAMING) - Hey, you wrote it! 239 00:13:30,899 --> 00:13:34,236 (GROANS) 240 00:13:34,361 --> 00:13:37,156 It's not working! He's drawing strength from our weapons! 241 00:13:37,281 --> 00:13:39,658 Like a balloon, and... Something bad happens! 242 00:13:40,743 --> 00:13:43,120 (SHOUTING) 243 00:13:43,245 --> 00:13:45,873 (BOTH SCREAMING) 244 00:13:57,217 --> 00:14:00,179 BENDER: Yep. 245 00:14:00,304 --> 00:14:02,473 So, uh, how's rehearsal going? 246 00:14:02,598 --> 00:14:06,727 Lousy. Here I've been admiring a bunch of actors, while you, 247 00:14:06,852 --> 00:14:10,731 a crew of genuine space heroes, risked your lives to save them. 248 00:14:10,856 --> 00:14:12,983 Hey, we've done heroic things too. 249 00:14:13,108 --> 00:14:15,736 Yeah. In the third season, I kissed Shatner. 250 00:14:15,861 --> 00:14:19,364 Silence! My whole world has turned upside down. 251 00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:21,366 I have but one option. 252 00:14:21,492 --> 00:14:23,786 - Keep them and let us go? - No! 253 00:14:23,911 --> 00:14:27,498 To determine who is more worthy of my fanatical devotion, 254 00:14:27,623 --> 00:14:32,086 I shall pit you against each other in armed combat... To the death! 255 00:14:33,921 --> 00:14:36,090 Where'd you get an idiotic idea like that? 256 00:14:36,215 --> 00:14:39,885 Episodes 19, 46, 56 and 77! 257 00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:44,807 Great list. Except you forgot episode 66. (CHUCKLING) 258 00:14:44,932 --> 00:14:47,434 (STAMMERING) I was getting to that one! 259 00:14:47,559 --> 00:14:49,728 (SHOUTING) 260 00:14:57,653 --> 00:15:00,531 So Melllvar ordered a battle to the death. 261 00:15:00,656 --> 00:15:03,117 - I assume no one survived? - (SIGHS) 262 00:15:03,242 --> 00:15:05,953 Can we get on with this? My foot's getting tired. 263 00:15:06,078 --> 00:15:07,913 (BEEPING) 264 00:15:09,081 --> 00:15:12,000 This will be your standard battle to the death. 265 00:15:12,126 --> 00:15:15,212 The only weapons... Whatever you can find. 266 00:15:15,337 --> 00:15:17,506 But I warn you. Do nothing 267 00:15:17,631 --> 00:15:20,134 until I have signaled the start of combat. 268 00:15:21,260 --> 00:15:23,887 - Okay, start. - (ALL GASPING, SHOUTING) 269 00:15:24,012 --> 00:15:26,265 (WIND HOWLING) 270 00:15:30,728 --> 00:15:33,939 I don't have much experience at fighting, except with you guys. 271 00:15:34,064 --> 00:15:37,317 I have an idea. Wasn't there an episode where I threw my shoe at the enemy? 272 00:15:37,443 --> 00:15:40,529 - You mean Doohan? - (BOTH CHUCKLING) 273 00:15:40,654 --> 00:15:43,282 Whoever it was, I did it like this. Yaah! 274 00:15:43,407 --> 00:15:46,952 - Ow! - My foot's cold. 275 00:15:48,495 --> 00:15:50,706 There. We can make these into spears. 276 00:15:50,831 --> 00:15:54,460 And we can tie these caterpillars together to make bow strings for bows and arrows. 277 00:15:54,585 --> 00:15:56,754 And we can use this machine gun to shoot them! 278 00:15:56,879 --> 00:15:59,089 Yee-haw! 279 00:16:03,927 --> 00:16:05,929 (CLICKING) 280 00:16:06,055 --> 00:16:08,682 (LAUGHING) That was fun. 281 00:16:10,142 --> 00:16:13,812 What if I distract them with my famous fan dance? 282 00:16:13,937 --> 00:16:15,981 Oh, that's good, good, good, good. And then, George, 283 00:16:16,106 --> 00:16:19,401 - you give them a karate chop. - I find that offensive. 284 00:16:19,526 --> 00:16:24,364 Just because I'm of Japanese ancestry, you assume I know karate. 285 00:16:24,490 --> 00:16:28,160 Have I ever led you to believe I have studied karate? 286 00:16:28,285 --> 00:16:30,871 Well, no. But you never talk about yourself. 287 00:16:30,996 --> 00:16:34,500 Maybe if you showed a little interest. 288 00:16:34,625 --> 00:16:36,502 Well, here goes nothing. 289 00:16:37,836 --> 00:16:40,089 (SCREAMING) 290 00:16:43,842 --> 00:16:45,844 Hello, boys. 291 00:16:48,013 --> 00:16:50,432 Whoa! 292 00:16:50,557 --> 00:16:52,851 - Hyah! - (SHOUTING) 293 00:16:54,103 --> 00:16:56,105 - Aah! - (GASPS) 294 00:16:56,230 --> 00:16:59,358 - There's no right way to hit a woman. - Then do it the wrong way. 295 00:16:59,483 --> 00:17:02,903 Fine. Yeee-oh-ho! 296 00:17:03,028 --> 00:17:06,532 - Is that all you got? Hyah! - (GROANING) 297 00:17:17,209 --> 00:17:18,669 - Come on, Walter! - Take that! 298 00:17:19,962 --> 00:17:23,465 - (WHOOPING) - (GROANING) It hurts. 299 00:17:23,590 --> 00:17:26,969 Let's see if this actually works. (GRUNTS) 300 00:17:27,886 --> 00:17:31,056 - Ow! Ow! Ow! - Aah! My face! 301 00:17:31,181 --> 00:17:32,975 (GROANS) My face too! 302 00:17:34,017 --> 00:17:35,894 May I? 303 00:17:36,019 --> 00:17:37,896 - Hyah! - (GROANS) 304 00:17:40,065 --> 00:17:43,360 Excellent. Excellent. 305 00:17:43,485 --> 00:17:47,030 Leela, please. This is exactly what Melllvar wants. 306 00:17:47,156 --> 00:17:50,284 We're just pawns in his diabolical game of checkers. 307 00:17:50,409 --> 00:17:53,287 Can't we resolve our differences some other way? 308 00:17:53,412 --> 00:17:56,665 Melllvar! Dinnertime! 309 00:17:56,790 --> 00:18:00,043 Aw, but, Mom! I'm playin' with my collectibles! 310 00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:03,589 - Now! - (GROANS) 311 00:18:03,714 --> 00:18:07,051 All this time, we thought he was a powerful super-being. 312 00:18:07,176 --> 00:18:12,139 - Yet he was just a child. - He's not a child! He's 34! 313 00:18:13,599 --> 00:18:17,102 All right, Koenig! I've wanted to do this for years! 314 00:18:17,227 --> 00:18:21,023 Bender, wait! This is our chance to escape before Melllvar comes back! 315 00:18:21,148 --> 00:18:23,692 But we all need to work together. 316 00:18:27,112 --> 00:18:30,324 - I love you so much. - (NIMOY CLEARS THROAT) Hello. 317 00:18:30,449 --> 00:18:33,410 - We've decided to work together. - Yeah, so did they. 318 00:18:33,535 --> 00:18:35,829 Now, how do we escape? 319 00:18:35,954 --> 00:18:37,831 We can't use our ship. 320 00:18:37,956 --> 00:18:40,084 We have life support, but the engines are wrecked. 321 00:18:40,209 --> 00:18:44,963 Ironic, because our engines work, but our life support systems don't. 322 00:18:45,089 --> 00:18:49,134 - Hey. If your engines work... - And your life support systems work... 323 00:18:49,259 --> 00:18:51,303 Stop! You're just goin' around in circles! 324 00:18:51,428 --> 00:18:54,681 Think, Fry. Think. Everyone's depending on you. 325 00:19:03,315 --> 00:19:07,111 We're too heavy! You guys need to lose some weight. Fast! 326 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,700 Fish. 327 00:19:13,826 --> 00:19:16,286 Look! Leonard! We're light enough to keep the tapes! 328 00:19:16,412 --> 00:19:19,873 - Isn't that great? - I'm living in a gefilte fish jar. 329 00:19:23,001 --> 00:19:25,087 - We did it! - (ALL CHEERING) 330 00:19:27,005 --> 00:19:30,676 (MELLLVAR CHUCKLING EVILLY) 331 00:19:30,801 --> 00:19:34,263 - (ALL SHOUTING) - Melllvar's got a spaceship! 332 00:19:34,388 --> 00:19:36,473 Yes! In mint condition! 333 00:19:36,598 --> 00:19:39,059 And you made me take it out of the package! 334 00:19:45,566 --> 00:19:48,110 The Nimbus! We're saved! 335 00:19:48,235 --> 00:19:52,114 You're under arrest. Prepare to be boarded. 336 00:19:52,239 --> 00:19:54,908 So I boarded you, huh? Uh, what happened next? 337 00:19:55,033 --> 00:19:57,119 You started this stupid court-martial! 338 00:19:57,244 --> 00:19:59,413 Now if you don't mind, we're still fighting Melllvar. 339 00:20:02,791 --> 00:20:04,960 (ALL PANTING) 340 00:20:10,215 --> 00:20:13,093 - (ALL GASPING) - One more hit, and we're done for! 341 00:20:13,218 --> 00:20:16,513 Let's take him out with us. Do you guys have a self-destruct code? 342 00:20:16,638 --> 00:20:21,060 Like destruct sequence 1-A, 2-B, 3... 343 00:20:21,185 --> 00:20:24,146 Thanks a lot, Takei! Now everybody knows! 344 00:20:24,271 --> 00:20:28,609 If I can't have the original cast of Star Trek, no one will! 345 00:20:28,734 --> 00:20:30,611 Prepare to die! 346 00:20:30,736 --> 00:20:33,655 Wait! If they mean that much to you, why do you want to kill them? 347 00:20:33,781 --> 00:20:36,450 Because I... I... 348 00:20:36,575 --> 00:20:38,660 I don't know what I'd do without them. 349 00:20:38,786 --> 00:20:42,247 Melllvar, you can't let a TV show be your whole life. 350 00:20:42,372 --> 00:20:45,042 You can do anything you want. Look at Walter Koenig. 351 00:20:45,167 --> 00:20:47,086 After Star Trek, he became an actor. 352 00:20:47,211 --> 00:20:50,255 Not just an actor but a well-rounded person 353 00:20:50,381 --> 00:20:53,092 with my own friends and credit cards and keys. 354 00:20:53,217 --> 00:20:57,262 Well, I... Guess I could move out of my parents' basement. 355 00:20:57,388 --> 00:21:00,474 - Maybe get a temp job. - Whoa, whoa. One step at a time. 356 00:21:00,599 --> 00:21:02,643 I thank you, Fry. 357 00:21:02,768 --> 00:21:05,437 You know, you and I are of a kind. 358 00:21:05,562 --> 00:21:09,191 In a different reality, I could have called you... Friend. 359 00:21:09,316 --> 00:21:12,152 Episode 10. "Balance of Terror." 360 00:21:12,277 --> 00:21:14,446 More like episode nine, loser! 361 00:21:14,571 --> 00:21:17,074 In your face! Victory is mine! 362 00:21:17,199 --> 00:21:19,201 (TAUNTING LAUGHTER) 363 00:21:20,452 --> 00:21:22,371 I wonder, my friends. 364 00:21:22,496 --> 00:21:25,165 Was he really such an evil energy gas? 365 00:21:25,290 --> 00:21:27,626 He did give us eternal youth. 366 00:21:27,751 --> 00:21:29,628 Twenty-four hour laundromat. 367 00:21:29,753 --> 00:21:33,841 A full assortment of rum, both spiced and regular. 368 00:21:33,966 --> 00:21:36,093 Truly, it was a paradise. 369 00:21:36,218 --> 00:21:40,264 And all you had to put up with was one really annoying Star Trek fan. 370 00:21:41,432 --> 00:21:43,267 Let's get the hell out of here.