1
00:00:02,616 --> 00:00:04,618
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:34,231 --> 00:00:36,191
BENDER: Ah, beer.

3
00:00:36,275 --> 00:00:39,653
So many choices
and it makes so little difference.

4
00:00:39,736 --> 00:00:41,822
How about Löbrau? It has dots on it.

5
00:00:41,905 --> 00:00:46,410
Overruled! The choice of champions
is Pabst Blue Robot.

6
00:00:46,493 --> 00:00:49,496
I can't drink that. The metal shavings
make my throat bloody.

7
00:00:49,580 --> 00:00:52,958
Wah, wah, baby wants a Zima.

8
00:00:53,041 --> 00:00:56,044
Hey, hey, hey, we can all fight
when we're drunk.

9
00:00:56,128 --> 00:00:58,297
Now, listen, why don't we just
brew our own beer?

10
00:00:58,380 --> 00:01:00,048
You can brew your own beer?

11
00:01:00,132 --> 00:01:03,427
Sure, the kids at the Orphanarium
used to do it all the time.

12
00:01:05,929 --> 00:01:06,930
(CRASHING)

13
00:01:08,974 --> 00:01:10,767
Cursed bacteria of Liberia!

14
00:01:10,851 --> 00:01:13,645
My own son,
suspended from boarding school.

15
00:01:13,729 --> 00:01:14,813
It's not my fault, Dad.

16
00:01:14,897 --> 00:01:16,106
FARNSWORTH: And you, Cubert!

17
00:01:16,189 --> 00:01:18,108
I cloned you from one of my warts

18
00:01:18,191 --> 00:01:20,611
and I can send you straight back in there!

19
00:01:20,694 --> 00:01:22,821
- Nuh-uh!
- What's going on?

20
00:01:22,905 --> 00:01:25,574
Is this angry yelling
or busted-hearing-aid yelling?

21
00:01:25,657 --> 00:01:27,659
- I'm afraid it's both.
- (YELLS) What?

22
00:01:27,743 --> 00:01:29,995
Now, hold on.
Everyone cool your daiquiris.

23
00:01:30,078 --> 00:01:33,290
Let's give the little vermin
a chance to explain themselves.

24
00:01:33,373 --> 00:01:35,000
It was self-defense, Mom.

25
00:01:35,083 --> 00:01:37,753
Just look at this letter
the principal sent.

26
00:01:40,339 --> 00:01:43,133
We were in science class
and we had just finished building

27
00:01:43,217 --> 00:01:44,509
a miniature black hole.

28
00:01:44,593 --> 00:01:46,178
That was easy.

29
00:01:46,303 --> 00:01:49,431
Pretty scrawny black hole.
It must be hungry.

30
00:01:49,514 --> 00:01:50,641
(SCOFFS)

31
00:01:50,724 --> 00:01:52,351
Black holes don't need food.

32
00:01:52,434 --> 00:01:53,977
Neither do nerds!

33
00:01:57,814 --> 00:01:59,191
My Manwich!

34
00:01:59,274 --> 00:02:01,151
(LAUGHING)

35
00:02:01,235 --> 00:02:03,320
That's it, Brett.
You've compressed our lunches

36
00:02:03,403 --> 00:02:05,822
to a singularity for the last time!

37
00:02:06,156 --> 00:02:07,574
Salt him, Dwight!

38
00:02:08,033 --> 00:02:10,661
(GROANING)

39
00:02:11,411 --> 00:02:15,040
When I re-solidify, I'm going
to put you in a world of goop.

40
00:02:15,123 --> 00:02:16,583
(BOTH WHIMPERING)

41
00:02:16,667 --> 00:02:18,418
See? That bully started it.

42
00:02:18,502 --> 00:02:21,755
We couldn't fight back with brawn,
so we used our brains.

43
00:02:21,838 --> 00:02:24,174
I warned you not to use those things!

44
00:02:26,677 --> 00:02:29,846
Let's see, we've got our malt, our hops...

45
00:02:29,930 --> 00:02:32,516
We just need a big,
disposable tub to mix it in.

46
00:02:32,599 --> 00:02:33,600
Yo.

47
00:02:37,604 --> 00:02:39,940
Now it needs to boil for a couple hours.

48
00:02:42,067 --> 00:02:44,653
(WHISTLING TUNE)

49
00:02:45,195 --> 00:02:46,613
(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)

50
00:02:46,697 --> 00:02:48,532
- Dwight, you remember the crew.
- (GRUNTS)

51
00:02:48,615 --> 00:02:50,242
Crew, you remember Cubert?

52
00:02:50,325 --> 00:02:51,326
(ALL GRUNT)

53
00:02:51,410 --> 00:02:54,288
Wonderful! Then I'm sure you won't mind

54
00:02:54,371 --> 00:02:56,582
being their legal guardians for a month.

55
00:02:59,126 --> 00:03:00,544
Well, well...

56
00:03:00,627 --> 00:03:03,380
If it isn't my old friends Stretch-Pants,

57
00:03:03,463 --> 00:03:04,923
No-Pants and...

58
00:03:05,799 --> 00:03:06,800
Idiot.

59
00:03:06,884 --> 00:03:09,094
We're making beer. I'm the brewery.

60
00:03:09,219 --> 00:03:10,846
I heard alcohol makes you stupid.

61
00:03:10,971 --> 00:03:12,514
No, I'm... Doesn't.

62
00:03:12,598 --> 00:03:14,892
Actually, Dwight, you're right.

63
00:03:14,975 --> 00:03:17,519
Alcohol is very, very bad.

64
00:03:17,603 --> 00:03:18,812
For children.

65
00:03:18,896 --> 00:03:21,982
But once you turn 21,
it becomes very, very good.

66
00:03:22,065 --> 00:03:23,275
So scram!

67
00:03:23,358 --> 00:03:25,319
- Oh, man, I'm sick of this.
- (GRUMBLING)

68
00:03:25,402 --> 00:03:26,612
(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)

69
00:03:26,695 --> 00:03:27,905
Hey, Dad.

70
00:03:27,988 --> 00:03:30,991
What useless contraption
are you half-baking today?

71
00:03:31,074 --> 00:03:32,242
Wuh?

72
00:03:32,326 --> 00:03:34,661
Oh, this is my latest invention.

73
00:03:34,745 --> 00:03:38,790
A device that lets anyone
sound exactly like me.

74
00:03:38,874 --> 00:03:42,044
(IN FARNSWORTH'S VOICE)
Good news, everyone! I'm a horse's butt.

75
00:03:42,127 --> 00:03:45,088
I am? That's not good news
at all, you little...

76
00:03:45,172 --> 00:03:46,256
(WHIMPERS LIKE FARNSWORTH)

77
00:03:46,340 --> 00:03:47,925
What's this device's marketability?

78
00:03:48,008 --> 00:03:49,468
Who's the target consumer?

79
00:03:49,551 --> 00:03:52,930
There is no target consumer, only targets.

80
00:03:53,055 --> 00:03:57,643
Targets that will tremble in fear
as their new masters hand down edicts

81
00:03:57,726 --> 00:04:00,062
in my glorious booming voice!

82
00:04:00,312 --> 00:04:02,189
(IN OWN EXAGGERATED VOICE)
Now, quit pestering me,

83
00:04:02,272 --> 00:04:04,233
you confounded scoundrels!

84
00:04:04,358 --> 00:04:07,194
(SINGING) Stamp it, file it, oh, yeah

85
00:04:07,277 --> 00:04:09,196
Send it overnight...

86
00:04:09,279 --> 00:04:10,739
Can I collate that?

87
00:04:10,822 --> 00:04:12,699
- No.
- Can I shred these contracts?

88
00:04:12,783 --> 00:04:14,076
No!

89
00:04:14,743 --> 00:04:16,787
Wow! A power stamper!

90
00:04:17,538 --> 00:04:19,957
(ALL YELLING)

91
00:04:22,209 --> 00:04:23,919
Now look at all the work I got to do!

92
00:04:26,296 --> 00:04:27,297
Ow!

93
00:04:27,381 --> 00:04:29,258
(BOTH LAUGHING)

94
00:04:31,468 --> 00:04:32,678
(LOUD BELCH)

95
00:04:34,721 --> 00:04:36,390
Mm. The ingredients are cooked

96
00:04:36,473 --> 00:04:39,351
and they've picked up some of
your natural robot flavorings.

97
00:04:39,434 --> 00:04:40,769
Time to add the yeast.

98
00:04:41,895 --> 00:04:46,024
Yeast? You mean... I'll have
a life-form growing inside me?

99
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,360
(VOICE BREAKING) It's so beautiful.

100
00:04:48,443 --> 00:04:49,695
(BLOWS NOSE)

101
00:04:50,696 --> 00:04:52,155
(PHONE RINGING)

102
00:04:52,322 --> 00:04:53,574
Talk to me.

103
00:04:53,657 --> 00:04:55,701
FARNSWORTH: This is Professor Farnsworth.

104
00:04:55,784 --> 00:04:58,996
I have an important delivery
for you and your dumb crew.

105
00:04:59,079 --> 00:05:02,207
You must deliver a pizza to Dogdoo Eight,

106
00:05:02,291 --> 00:05:04,751
a planet at the edge of the universe.

107
00:05:04,835 --> 00:05:07,212
(IN FARNSWORTH'S VOICE)
Sorry I can't come down to say goodbye

108
00:05:07,296 --> 00:05:09,840
but I'm busy inventing useless junk.

109
00:05:09,923 --> 00:05:11,675
And I smell bad.

110
00:05:11,758 --> 00:05:13,051
(BOTH GIGGLING)

111
00:05:13,135 --> 00:05:14,386
(GIGGLING CONTINUES)

112
00:05:25,564 --> 00:05:27,024
(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)

113
00:05:30,110 --> 00:05:32,154
Hey! (GROANS)

114
00:05:32,237 --> 00:05:35,407
If you were my kids,
you'd get quite a talking to.

115
00:05:35,490 --> 00:05:36,909
From your father.

116
00:05:36,992 --> 00:05:38,660
When he got home from the Senate.

117
00:05:38,744 --> 00:05:41,163
Oh, bother! What have they done now?

118
00:05:41,246 --> 00:05:44,374
Those pork dumplings
sent us on a fake pizza delivery!

119
00:05:44,458 --> 00:05:46,043
The address was on Dogdoo Eight,

120
00:05:46,126 --> 00:05:48,503
but the universe ends
right after Dogdoo Seven.

121
00:05:48,587 --> 00:05:50,214
Child-mon, is this true?

122
00:05:50,297 --> 00:05:52,299
Yeah, but why are you mad at us?

123
00:05:52,382 --> 00:05:56,094
Your dummy brigade wasted a week
on an obviously fake mission.

124
00:05:56,178 --> 00:05:59,556
Plus, they're making bootleg beer
inside company property.

125
00:05:59,681 --> 00:06:01,683
Lies! Lies and slander!

126
00:06:01,767 --> 00:06:03,185
(LOUD BELCH)

127
00:06:03,268 --> 00:06:06,021
Accusing gentle Bender of a misdeed?

128
00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:07,689
That's the last straw!

129
00:06:07,773 --> 00:06:09,900
You boys have been underfoot long enough!

130
00:06:09,983 --> 00:06:12,194
You jerked the words
right out of my mouth.

131
00:06:12,277 --> 00:06:15,405
We're their fathers,
and it's high times we acted like it.

132
00:06:15,489 --> 00:06:17,407
Ooh-hoo-hoo, here comes violence.

133
00:06:17,491 --> 00:06:18,992
(CLEARS THROAT)

134
00:06:19,076 --> 00:06:20,786
Get a job, you lazy kids.

135
00:06:21,078 --> 00:06:22,579
(BOTH GASP)

136
00:06:22,746 --> 00:06:25,457
Uh, I guess if you want children beaten,

137
00:06:25,541 --> 00:06:27,084
you have to do it yourself.

138
00:06:30,087 --> 00:06:32,297
Come on, Dad, shuffle faster!

139
00:06:32,381 --> 00:06:34,633
You don't want to miss the unveiling
of our new company, do you?

140
00:06:34,716 --> 00:06:35,717
Company?

141
00:06:35,801 --> 00:06:37,219
(LAUGHING)

142
00:06:37,302 --> 00:06:38,512
How cute.

143
00:06:38,595 --> 00:06:40,097
What will you be peddling?

144
00:06:40,180 --> 00:06:42,307
Lemonade? Shoe shines?

145
00:06:42,391 --> 00:06:43,559
Cootie insurance?

146
00:06:43,642 --> 00:06:46,562
Perhaps they've constructed
a teddy bear hospital.

147
00:06:46,645 --> 00:06:48,146
(BOTH CHUCKLING)

148
00:06:48,522 --> 00:06:51,775
Actually, we're starting
a competing delivery company.

149
00:06:56,864 --> 00:06:59,241
Welcome to the world of business.

150
00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:02,119
(BOTH GRUNTING)

151
00:07:05,706 --> 00:07:07,624
(BOTH GRUNTING)

152
00:07:08,542 --> 00:07:10,961
Hey, who's going to use a delivery service

153
00:07:11,044 --> 00:07:12,629
with a kicked sign?

154
00:07:12,713 --> 00:07:14,131
Nobody, that's who!

155
00:07:14,214 --> 00:07:16,008
But we already have a client signed up.

156
00:07:16,091 --> 00:07:18,427
We're delivering the Daily Supernova.

157
00:07:18,510 --> 00:07:19,636
(HERMES CHUCKLING)

158
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:23,515
So your delivery company
is just a cute, harmless paper route.

159
00:07:23,599 --> 00:07:24,641
Whew!

160
00:07:24,725 --> 00:07:26,935
No. It's a serious business.

161
00:07:27,019 --> 00:07:30,564
Yes, it's a tremendous responsibility,
all right.

162
00:07:30,647 --> 00:07:32,274
(CHUCKLING)

163
00:07:32,357 --> 00:07:34,693
What if a paper were to land in a puddle?

164
00:07:34,776 --> 00:07:37,446
Civilization as we know it
might get splashed.

165
00:07:37,529 --> 00:07:39,281
(BOTH CHUCKLING)

166
00:07:49,708 --> 00:07:52,127
Why do they always treat us
like dumb kids?

167
00:07:52,211 --> 00:07:55,339
We're practically old enough to
find the Fox Network infantile.

168
00:07:55,422 --> 00:07:56,590
Yeah, we'll show them.

169
00:07:56,673 --> 00:08:00,886
All Awesome Express needs
is a sturdy interstellar delivery craft.

170
00:08:00,969 --> 00:08:02,221
Voilà!

171
00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:04,514
You got a quarter?

172
00:08:11,813 --> 00:08:15,234
Man, the ad said to allow
four to six seconds for delivery.

173
00:08:15,317 --> 00:08:17,486
(SCOFFS) More like seven.

174
00:08:17,819 --> 00:08:18,946
(YELLS)

175
00:08:19,696 --> 00:08:22,324
I'm really starting to swell up with beer.

176
00:08:22,407 --> 00:08:24,034
I must look ridiculous.

177
00:08:24,117 --> 00:08:26,161
No. You have a healthy glow.

178
00:08:26,245 --> 00:08:29,081
(BELCHES) Oh, my God!
I just felt it ferment!

179
00:08:29,164 --> 00:08:30,916
Ooh! Let me feel.

180
00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:33,168
Have you thought about what to name it?

181
00:08:33,335 --> 00:08:36,338
I was thinking Benderbrau
if it's an ale...

182
00:08:36,421 --> 00:08:38,131
Botweiser if it's a lager.

183
00:08:38,215 --> 00:08:40,342
I hope it's a lager,
so I can take it to a ball game.

184
00:08:40,425 --> 00:08:41,593
(LOUD BELCH)

185
00:08:41,677 --> 00:08:44,137
- (LAUGHS)
- Ooh! I felt that one!

186
00:08:44,221 --> 00:08:46,557
(HAMMERING AND DRILLING)

187
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,433
(SQUEAKING AND CLICKING)

188
00:08:49,142 --> 00:08:51,478
Oh, there's a crack in the hull here.

189
00:08:51,562 --> 00:08:54,147
That could cause explosive decompression.

190
00:08:54,231 --> 00:08:55,482
Put a sticker on it.

191
00:08:58,902 --> 00:09:01,154
Off on your first delivery, eh?

192
00:09:01,238 --> 00:09:02,990
You be careful, my little tinkler.

193
00:09:03,073 --> 00:09:06,118
Remember we used
to call you that, huh? Tinkler?

194
00:09:08,579 --> 00:09:09,746
Gets moving!

195
00:09:09,830 --> 00:09:12,541
Those newspapers won'ts
deliver themselveses.

196
00:09:12,624 --> 00:09:14,793
Only the Sunday edition can do's that.

197
00:09:16,253 --> 00:09:19,840
Goodness, there must be
50 papers in that bundle.

198
00:09:19,923 --> 00:09:21,717
That's a big number, 50.

199
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,218
Yeah, if you're an idiot.

200
00:09:26,638 --> 00:09:29,057
Three, two, one.

201
00:09:29,182 --> 00:09:30,517
All systems go.

202
00:09:30,642 --> 00:09:31,643
Blastoff!

203
00:09:31,727 --> 00:09:34,271
(PEDALS SQUEAKING)

204
00:09:37,941 --> 00:09:39,234
See you at din-din!

205
00:09:39,318 --> 00:09:40,777
I'm blowing you a kiss!

206
00:09:40,861 --> 00:09:42,863
Mwah! (BLOWS)

207
00:09:42,946 --> 00:09:45,324
Aah! Take evasive action!

208
00:09:45,699 --> 00:09:49,119
FARNSWORTH: It's closing in.
You can't avoid it.

209
00:09:49,286 --> 00:09:50,913
It's a cheek seeker.

210
00:09:51,330 --> 00:09:53,540
And... Gotcha!

211
00:09:53,707 --> 00:09:55,292
CUBERT: (YELLS) No!

212
00:09:55,375 --> 00:09:57,920
(CUBERT SPITTING REPEATEDLY)

213
00:10:09,431 --> 00:10:12,434
(DOG BARKING)

214
00:10:16,605 --> 00:10:17,606
(DOG SQUEALS)

215
00:10:30,536 --> 00:10:31,537
(SCREAMS)

216
00:10:32,037 --> 00:10:33,038
BOTH: Yeah!

217
00:10:33,121 --> 00:10:34,122
(BOTH LAUGHING)

218
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:41,505
(FLASHBULBS POPPING)

219
00:10:55,769 --> 00:10:57,646
Business is down, so I have filed papers

220
00:10:57,729 --> 00:11:00,274
to have you all reclassified as slaves.

221
00:11:00,357 --> 00:11:02,109
(WHEEL SQUEAKING)

222
00:11:02,192 --> 00:11:06,697
FARNSWORTH: Well, well
if it isn't our little munchkin moguls.

223
00:11:06,780 --> 00:11:08,824
Would you just...

224
00:11:08,907 --> 00:11:09,992
What's the trouble, men?

225
00:11:10,117 --> 00:11:12,244
Need some penny rolls for your profits?

226
00:11:12,327 --> 00:11:15,414
Actually, thanks to Dwight's
brilliant accounting

227
00:11:15,497 --> 00:11:18,125
and my unaccountable brilliance...
(SNORTS)

228
00:11:18,208 --> 00:11:21,169
...our paper route now has
over a million customers!

229
00:11:22,462 --> 00:11:24,798
We're finally making more money
than you guys!

230
00:11:24,882 --> 00:11:26,425
Aren't you impressed now, Pops?

231
00:11:26,508 --> 00:11:27,759
Aren't you? Aren't you?

232
00:11:27,843 --> 00:11:30,345
Uh, in a small way, yes.

233
00:11:30,429 --> 00:11:32,180
But you still don't have your own building

234
00:11:32,264 --> 00:11:34,016
or conference table or...

235
00:11:34,099 --> 00:11:35,434
Or one of those things.

236
00:11:35,851 --> 00:11:36,935
Hello.

237
00:11:38,729 --> 00:11:41,940
Our dads are never impressed,
no matter what we do.

238
00:11:42,024 --> 00:11:43,650
Maybe we should start a fire.

239
00:11:43,734 --> 00:11:47,905
If we really want to impress them,
we'll have to crush them with strategy

240
00:11:47,988 --> 00:11:49,489
"Dwight Lightning."

241
00:11:50,866 --> 00:11:53,994
Very well, but I get to
name the next strategy.

242
00:11:55,913 --> 00:11:58,373
ANNOUNCER:
This week on The Real World: The Sun.

243
00:11:58,457 --> 00:11:59,833
(MAN SCREAMS)

244
00:11:59,917 --> 00:12:01,460
I'm burning to death!

245
00:12:01,543 --> 00:12:05,797
Oh! You know how much an apartment
that big would cost on the sun?

246
00:12:06,632 --> 00:12:09,009
People, as you know, our young sons

247
00:12:09,134 --> 00:12:12,179
have become great successes
in the very same field as us.

248
00:12:12,262 --> 00:12:13,931
- That's great!
- BENDER: All right!

249
00:12:14,014 --> 00:12:15,974
Naturally, we're humiliated.

250
00:12:16,058 --> 00:12:18,393
That's why we need you, our loyal crew,

251
00:12:18,477 --> 00:12:22,105
to make Planet Express
800% more profitable.

252
00:12:22,189 --> 00:12:24,024
We'll start by slashing salaries

253
00:12:24,107 --> 00:12:26,026
and this time, I mean really slashing.

254
00:12:26,109 --> 00:12:28,820
Uh, guys, I don't know how
to tell you this

255
00:12:28,904 --> 00:12:31,114
so I'll just let Fry
blurt it out thoughtlessly.

256
00:12:31,198 --> 00:12:32,866
We don't work for you anymore!

257
00:12:32,950 --> 00:12:33,951
- (GASPS)
- What!

258
00:12:34,034 --> 00:12:35,536
Dwight and Cubert made us a better offer.

259
00:12:35,619 --> 00:12:36,745
We're paperboys now.

260
00:12:36,828 --> 00:12:39,122
Incoming! We got papers to stuff, team.

261
00:12:39,206 --> 00:12:40,332
Hup to, hup to.

262
00:12:40,415 --> 00:12:41,500
- Yes, sir.
- Right away.

263
00:12:41,583 --> 00:12:43,126
We're on it, Mr. Farnsworth.

264
00:12:49,007 --> 00:12:53,387
Folks, the situation is grim,
but we shall prevail

265
00:12:53,470 --> 00:12:56,890
thanks to you,
our crack team of loyal dregs.

266
00:13:00,227 --> 00:13:02,062
I don't even know who this guy is.

267
00:13:02,187 --> 00:13:03,897
I'm Scruffy, the janitor.

268
00:13:03,981 --> 00:13:05,524
Yes, of course you are.

269
00:13:05,607 --> 00:13:08,944
Now, we've got to buckle down
and save Planet Express.

270
00:13:09,319 --> 00:13:10,737
I'm on break.

271
00:13:14,491 --> 00:13:18,203
(SLOW CRUNCHING)

272
00:13:18,537 --> 00:13:21,707
Sorry to interrupt
this whirlwind of activity

273
00:13:21,790 --> 00:13:23,417
but we have an announcement.

274
00:13:23,584 --> 00:13:25,294
I direct your attention to these forms

275
00:13:25,377 --> 00:13:27,713
which I'm presently engaged
in handing to you.

276
00:13:28,422 --> 00:13:31,717
Sweet guinea pig of Winnipeg,
they've taken over our company.

277
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:34,303
Balderdash! I never agreed to that.

278
00:13:34,386 --> 00:13:38,098
No, but you did declare yourself dead
three years ago as a tax dodge.

279
00:13:38,181 --> 00:13:39,600
Tax dodge nothing.

280
00:13:39,683 --> 00:13:41,977
You take one nap in a ditch at the park

281
00:13:42,060 --> 00:13:44,187
and they start declaring you
this and that.

282
00:13:44,313 --> 00:13:46,732
Either way, I technically
inherit your building

283
00:13:46,815 --> 00:13:47,858
and your spaceship,

284
00:13:47,941 --> 00:13:50,152
which means Planet Express is now...

285
00:13:50,235 --> 00:13:51,320
(MACHINE BEEPS)

286
00:13:51,403 --> 00:13:53,071
Awesome Express!

287
00:13:53,196 --> 00:13:56,074
- (BOTH GASP)
- You rotten kids!

288
00:13:56,825 --> 00:13:57,910
Uh, will you be hiring?

289
00:13:57,993 --> 00:14:00,287
- No.
- You rotten kids!

290
00:14:09,046 --> 00:14:11,548
(BOTH GRUNTING)

291
00:14:12,633 --> 00:14:15,427
There, one million papers,
folded and loaded.

292
00:14:18,305 --> 00:14:21,099
Hey, Leela, help me apply
these flame decals I got in my cereal.

293
00:14:21,183 --> 00:14:22,726
They'll make the ship go faster.

294
00:14:22,809 --> 00:14:25,354
And what's your scientific basis
for thinking that?

295
00:14:25,437 --> 00:14:26,647
I'm 12.

296
00:14:30,359 --> 00:14:32,319
- Oh...
- Did I ever tell you

297
00:14:32,402 --> 00:14:34,613
how I used to own that ship?

298
00:14:40,452 --> 00:14:42,663
There but for the grace of God.

299
00:14:43,247 --> 00:14:46,041
(GOBBLING)

300
00:14:46,124 --> 00:14:49,461
(SINGING) Hush, little brewski
Don't you leak

301
00:14:49,545 --> 00:14:52,214
Daddy wants to drink
for at least a week

302
00:14:52,297 --> 00:14:53,549
(STOMACH RUMBLES LOUDLY)

303
00:14:53,632 --> 00:14:55,551
Oh, my God! I think it's time!

304
00:14:55,634 --> 00:14:58,178
Hurry, Leela.
Get some coasters and cold mugs.

305
00:14:58,845 --> 00:15:00,597
(BENDER GROANING)

306
00:15:00,764 --> 00:15:02,307
FRY: Push, Bender, push.

307
00:15:02,516 --> 00:15:04,142
(GROANING)

308
00:15:04,226 --> 00:15:05,561
You're doing great.

309
00:15:05,644 --> 00:15:09,523
(GROANS) It feels like I'm trying
to push a waterbed out of me.

310
00:15:09,606 --> 00:15:12,484
Almost there. Just two more bottles.

311
00:15:12,568 --> 00:15:13,860
Is it okay?

312
00:15:13,944 --> 00:15:15,696
I can't hear anything.

313
00:15:16,029 --> 00:15:17,281
(SLURPS)

314
00:15:17,364 --> 00:15:20,284
It's an ale! Five gallons, six ounces.

315
00:15:23,495 --> 00:15:25,080
(MOANING)

316
00:15:26,623 --> 00:15:27,875
Hey, what's going on?

317
00:15:27,958 --> 00:15:30,752
This is a delivery company,
not a delivery room.

318
00:15:30,836 --> 00:15:33,630
We just busted our buns
delivering a million papers

319
00:15:33,714 --> 00:15:35,299
and this is how you greet us?

320
00:15:35,382 --> 00:15:37,551
With a bunch of frosty cold beers?

321
00:15:37,634 --> 00:15:39,052
Hey, wait a second.

322
00:15:39,136 --> 00:15:41,847
How did you deliver
a million papers in one hour?

323
00:15:42,055 --> 00:15:44,391
Uh... We just did, okay?

324
00:15:44,474 --> 00:15:45,475
'Cause we're awesome.

325
00:15:45,559 --> 00:15:46,685
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

326
00:15:46,768 --> 00:15:47,811
- Awesome.
- Awesome.

327
00:15:47,895 --> 00:15:49,104
(PHONE RINGING)

328
00:15:49,187 --> 00:15:52,399
Hello, Awesome Express,
the rude, crude delivery dudes.

329
00:15:52,482 --> 00:15:53,775
How may I direct your call?

330
00:15:54,401 --> 00:15:55,444
What's that?

331
00:15:55,527 --> 00:15:56,904
You haven't gotten your paper?

332
00:15:57,446 --> 00:15:58,822
In how long?

333
00:15:59,615 --> 00:16:02,576
(MANY PHONES RINGING)

334
00:16:07,206 --> 00:16:12,252
Might a homeless old man have
a touch more beef bourguignon?

335
00:16:12,336 --> 00:16:14,588
And another tequila slammer?

336
00:16:14,671 --> 00:16:16,548
- Ugh!
- Please?

337
00:16:16,632 --> 00:16:19,885
Don't you sweet-talk me,
you wrinkly old tube sock.

338
00:16:20,010 --> 00:16:22,429
May I have one, too, wife?

339
00:16:22,512 --> 00:16:25,849
You're both pathetic,
being jealous of your own offspring.

340
00:16:25,933 --> 00:16:28,602
Now, you should be happy
that they became successes

341
00:16:28,685 --> 00:16:30,938
instead of following in your footsteps.

342
00:16:31,021 --> 00:16:34,608
Oh, it's true, but they grow up so fast.

343
00:16:34,691 --> 00:16:37,569
We just wanted a few more years
of being better than them.

344
00:16:37,653 --> 00:16:39,613
They're so stinking talented

345
00:16:39,696 --> 00:16:42,783
they don't even need
their fathers anymore.

346
00:16:42,866 --> 00:16:44,159
(BOTH WEEPING)

347
00:16:45,244 --> 00:16:46,245
(DOOR SLAMS)

348
00:16:46,328 --> 00:16:47,496
(RUNNING FOOTSTEPS)

349
00:16:48,163 --> 00:16:49,248
Dad!

350
00:16:49,331 --> 00:16:50,707
We screwed up!

351
00:16:50,791 --> 00:16:52,751
You did? Tough luck, suckers.

352
00:16:52,834 --> 00:16:54,419
Please, help us, Pops.

353
00:16:54,503 --> 00:16:57,464
We agreed to deliver way more
papers than we could handle.

354
00:16:57,548 --> 00:17:00,300
But we couldn't handle 'em,
so we started dumping the extras

355
00:17:00,384 --> 00:17:01,718
in a crater on the moon.

356
00:17:01,802 --> 00:17:04,513
And now everybody's yelling at us
about their missing papers.

357
00:17:04,596 --> 00:17:06,515
And we don't know what to do.

358
00:17:06,598 --> 00:17:08,517
(KIDS CRYING)

359
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:11,144
(FATHERS LAUGHING)

360
00:17:12,187 --> 00:17:13,647
- Oh...
- Oh...

361
00:17:13,730 --> 00:17:16,275
Why did you boys do all this?

362
00:17:16,483 --> 00:17:19,695
(SNIFFLES) We just wanted you
to be proud of us.

363
00:17:19,778 --> 00:17:21,071
Proud of you?

364
00:17:21,154 --> 00:17:23,740
You ruined us
with sleazy business practices

365
00:17:23,824 --> 00:17:26,201
and a complete disregard
for human decency.

366
00:17:26,702 --> 00:17:28,412
Of course we're proud of you.

367
00:17:28,495 --> 00:17:29,872
Damn right we are.

368
00:17:29,955 --> 00:17:34,167
Now, come on. Let's go do
a little father-son weaseling out of this.

369
00:17:39,798 --> 00:17:41,884
FARNSWORTH: Good thing
I had this net installed

370
00:17:41,967 --> 00:17:43,260
for catching giraffes.

371
00:18:01,737 --> 00:18:05,324
Okay, boys, let me show you
how a paper man does it.

372
00:18:13,457 --> 00:18:15,667
Au revoir!

373
00:18:18,128 --> 00:18:19,588
Can I use the gun, Dad?

374
00:18:19,671 --> 00:18:22,633
Oh, what kind of father
would I be if I said no?

375
00:18:28,055 --> 00:18:29,598
Only one house to go.

376
00:18:29,681 --> 00:18:30,682
We did it!

377
00:18:30,766 --> 00:18:32,392
(ALL CHEERING)

378
00:18:32,476 --> 00:18:33,518
Yeah!

379
00:18:33,602 --> 00:18:34,603
(GASPS)

380
00:18:34,686 --> 00:18:36,730
(BEEPING)

381
00:18:38,232 --> 00:18:40,692
Run away.
That bully Brett Blob lives there.

382
00:18:40,776 --> 00:18:43,153
He's ugly, mean, stupid, stink mucus,

383
00:18:43,237 --> 00:18:47,199
and last week we sort of broke his window.

384
00:18:47,658 --> 00:18:49,034
All right, all right.

385
00:18:49,117 --> 00:18:51,411
What do we do
when we break somebody's window?

386
00:18:51,495 --> 00:18:52,621
Pay for it?

387
00:18:52,704 --> 00:18:54,248
Oh, heavens, no.

388
00:18:54,331 --> 00:18:57,084
We apologize. With nice, cheap words.

389
00:18:57,543 --> 00:18:58,585
(DOORBELL RINGING)

390
00:18:59,962 --> 00:19:03,882
I thought I heard the doorbell
but I see it was the dork bell.

391
00:19:03,966 --> 00:19:06,593
(LAUGHING)

392
00:19:06,677 --> 00:19:08,804
Uh, you made a funny good one, Brett.

393
00:19:08,887 --> 00:19:12,015
Now, now, no need to give us the business.

394
00:19:12,099 --> 00:19:14,101
We'd like a word with your daddy.

395
00:19:14,184 --> 00:19:16,645
Whatever. Dad!

396
00:19:16,728 --> 00:19:18,105
Don't worry, boys.

397
00:19:18,188 --> 00:19:21,275
I'm sure his father
is a perfectly normal, reasonable man.

398
00:19:21,358 --> 00:19:22,609
What the hell do you want?

399
00:19:22,693 --> 00:19:25,696
Mr. Blob, our sons have come to apologize

400
00:19:25,779 --> 00:19:27,531
for damaging your window.

401
00:19:27,614 --> 00:19:31,243
They've learned their lesson
and they want to make amends.

402
00:19:31,326 --> 00:19:33,078
- I'm sorry, sir.
- Yeah. Sorry.

403
00:19:33,161 --> 00:19:34,830
You can shove your apology

404
00:19:34,913 --> 00:19:37,749
into the bottom of your
one-way digestive system.

405
00:19:37,833 --> 00:19:38,876
Now, see here!

406
00:19:38,959 --> 00:19:41,837
We assured our sons
that you'd accept their apology.

407
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:43,922
Aw. Tell you what.

408
00:19:44,298 --> 00:19:48,218
I'll accept their apology
when they kiss my ass!

409
00:19:48,302 --> 00:19:50,012
Which I don't have!

410
00:19:50,095 --> 00:19:52,097
(LAUGHING)

411
00:19:52,180 --> 00:19:55,058
No one gives my boy that option.

412
00:19:55,142 --> 00:19:56,768
Bring it on, Jell-O Pop.

413
00:19:56,852 --> 00:19:58,854
- Yeah! Get him, Dad!
- Show him who's boss.

414
00:19:58,937 --> 00:20:01,732
(PAINED GROANS)

415
00:20:03,358 --> 00:20:04,776
Get him, Pops.

416
00:20:04,860 --> 00:20:05,986
Hooray?

417
00:20:06,945 --> 00:20:08,989
(DOG YAPPING)

418
00:20:11,909 --> 00:20:13,493
(GROWLS)

419
00:20:19,208 --> 00:20:20,792
That was incredible!

420
00:20:20,876 --> 00:20:23,879
You are the bravest dads
in the entire trauma center.

421
00:20:23,962 --> 00:20:26,173
You guys almost had him,
until he digested you.

422
00:20:26,256 --> 00:20:28,300
Aw, you're good kids.

423
00:20:28,383 --> 00:20:29,551
(COUGHING)

424
00:20:29,635 --> 00:20:32,888
If I could feel anything right now,
it would be pride.

425
00:20:32,971 --> 00:20:34,890
(BOTH SCREAMING)

426
00:20:34,973 --> 00:20:37,559
I was wrong! I can still feel pain!

427
00:20:37,643 --> 00:20:38,685
(KNOCKING)

428
00:20:39,937 --> 00:20:41,980
- (SHRIEKS)
- He's come to finish the job.

429
00:20:42,064 --> 00:20:44,066
Someone toss me out the window!

430
00:20:44,149 --> 00:20:45,609
No, no. Wait.

431
00:20:45,692 --> 00:20:48,695
I... I feel terrible about what happened.

432
00:20:48,779 --> 00:20:51,281
I've just been under
a lot of stress lately

433
00:20:51,365 --> 00:20:53,325
down at the plant, you know.

434
00:20:53,408 --> 00:20:57,454
They're bringing in computers
to "improve productivity,"

435
00:20:57,538 --> 00:21:00,916
and, well,
that's no excuse for how I acted.

436
00:21:00,999 --> 00:21:03,877
But the boy needs to see that real men

437
00:21:03,961 --> 00:21:06,630
solve their disagreements with words,
not violence,

438
00:21:06,713 --> 00:21:09,633
so, uh, if you'll
accept my apology, well...

439
00:21:09,716 --> 00:21:12,928
I hope we can put this
embarrassing incident behind us.

440
00:21:13,345 --> 00:21:15,973
- Mm. I suppose.
- Oh, ah...

441
00:21:16,515 --> 00:21:17,849
Hey, chumps!

442
00:21:17,933 --> 00:21:20,060
I heard you were on the ass end
of an ass-kicking,

443
00:21:20,143 --> 00:21:22,646
so I figured you could use
a couple of these little babies.

444
00:21:22,729 --> 00:21:23,939
Oh, why not?

445
00:21:24,022 --> 00:21:26,733
Might as well live it up
as long as I've got this catheter in me.

446
00:21:26,817 --> 00:21:29,194
Won't you join us, Mr. Blob?

447
00:21:29,278 --> 00:21:30,654
Sounds like a plan.

448
00:21:31,822 --> 00:21:34,366
This is what makes life worth clinging to.

449
00:21:34,449 --> 00:21:37,828
Three fathers enjoying
a day out with their sons.

450
00:21:38,954 --> 00:21:42,708
It would seem we've taught our boys
a lesson about life.

451
00:21:42,791 --> 00:21:46,461
Man or blob,
it's what's inside that counts.

452
00:21:48,171 --> 00:21:50,173
(MUFFLED SHOUTS)

453
00:21:56,972 --> 00:21:58,974
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)