1
00:00:01,653 --> 00:00:03,655
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:32,517 --> 00:00:33,935
(HUMMING)

3
00:00:34,019 --> 00:00:35,937
Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

4
00:00:37,898 --> 00:00:39,358
Whoa! Ah!

5
00:00:40,901 --> 00:00:44,863
Shman! The great rad spot
is mega-sweet for party-boarding!

6
00:00:44,947 --> 00:00:45,989
Indeed.

7
00:00:46,073 --> 00:00:47,574
Any calls while I was out?

8
00:00:47,658 --> 00:00:48,992
Yeah.

9
00:00:49,076 --> 00:00:52,329
You got a telesonic transmission
from Kif a couple hours ago.

10
00:00:52,412 --> 00:00:54,873
(GASPS) My Kiffy called?

11
00:00:56,792 --> 00:00:57,793
Kif?

12
00:00:57,876 --> 00:00:59,294
Ooh, Amy, you're back!

13
00:00:59,378 --> 00:01:01,630
Another hour and I would have
thought about hanging up.

14
00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:03,840
Why didn't you just
leave a message, sweetie?

15
00:01:03,924 --> 00:01:06,218
Well, um, I've left hundreds of messages

16
00:01:06,301 --> 00:01:07,678
with your answering machine

17
00:01:07,803 --> 00:01:09,721
but you never seem to get them.

18
00:01:09,805 --> 00:01:10,806
Bender!

19
00:01:10,889 --> 00:01:12,891
It's not my fault if you don't check me.

20
00:01:13,058 --> 00:01:16,311
(BABBLING)

21
00:01:16,395 --> 00:01:17,813
Messages erased.

22
00:01:17,896 --> 00:01:20,816
Oh, dearest,
this long distance relationship

23
00:01:20,899 --> 00:01:22,275
is too much to bear.

24
00:01:22,359 --> 00:01:25,946
When even an inch separates us,
I quiver with misery.

25
00:01:26,029 --> 00:01:29,491
So you can imagine how I feel
when it's a billion light-years.

26
00:01:30,075 --> 00:01:31,576
(CRYING)

27
00:01:31,660 --> 00:01:35,247
Kif, don't cry,
or you'll get a tummy ache.

28
00:01:35,330 --> 00:01:38,292
Lieutenant, some things came off me
and clogged the drain

29
00:01:38,375 --> 00:01:40,127
so if you could... Oh-ho!

30
00:01:40,210 --> 00:01:41,420
What's this?

31
00:01:41,503 --> 00:01:42,838
(BEEP)

32
00:01:43,797 --> 00:01:45,090
Well, well, well.

33
00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:49,469
Do my eyes believe me
or it that my bosomy swan, Leela?

34
00:01:49,553 --> 00:01:51,596
Say again? You're breaking up.

35
00:01:53,223 --> 00:01:54,308
Oh!

36
00:01:54,391 --> 00:01:56,393
Good news, everyone!

37
00:01:56,476 --> 00:02:00,897
You'll be delivering pain medicine
to the Hive Mind of Nigel 7.

38
00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:05,068
Scruffy's rolling out a large pill.

39
00:02:05,152 --> 00:02:06,612
You're going to Nigel 7?

40
00:02:06,695 --> 00:02:08,614
Kif's on patrol near there.

41
00:02:08,697 --> 00:02:10,240
You could drop me off on the way.

42
00:02:10,324 --> 00:02:11,783
We could, but we won't!

43
00:02:11,867 --> 00:02:14,661
It's a spaceship, damn it,
not a prom limousine.

44
00:02:14,745 --> 00:02:19,458
Ooh! If anyone needs me,
I'll be in the angry dome.

45
00:02:23,295 --> 00:02:25,714
(GRUMBLING AND MUMBLING)

46
00:02:29,259 --> 00:02:30,677
This is a very long trip,

47
00:02:30,761 --> 00:02:34,014
so we'll all have to go into
hibernative naptosis to save oxygen.

48
00:02:34,806 --> 00:02:37,684
Aw, I don't even breathe oxygen.

49
00:02:42,856 --> 00:02:46,985
(SNORING)

50
00:03:03,752 --> 00:03:05,420
Here I come, Kif.

51
00:03:05,504 --> 00:03:07,881
(LAUGHING)

52
00:03:13,053 --> 00:03:14,763
(LAUGHING)

53
00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:17,099
They jumped right out of their pants.

54
00:03:17,182 --> 00:03:20,060
(ALARM SOUNDS)

55
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:21,979
Oh, what now?

56
00:03:22,062 --> 00:03:23,689
Activate glass window.

57
00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:27,859
(GASPS)

58
00:03:27,943 --> 00:03:30,946
Kif, I'm sensing a very
sensual disturbance in the force.

59
00:03:31,029 --> 00:03:33,907
Prepare for ship-to-ship intimacy.

60
00:03:33,991 --> 00:03:35,742
Yes, sir, Captain.

61
00:03:47,838 --> 00:03:50,382
(SNORING)

62
00:03:50,465 --> 00:03:51,675
(LOUD CLANG)

63
00:03:51,758 --> 00:03:52,759
(SCREECHING)

64
00:03:52,843 --> 00:03:53,844
(SHRIEKS)

65
00:03:53,927 --> 00:03:56,930
How about I help you finish that dream
you were having about me?

66
00:03:57,014 --> 00:03:59,057
Okay. I was just at this part.

67
00:03:59,141 --> 00:04:00,309
(BATTLE CRY)

68
00:04:00,392 --> 00:04:02,185
(GROANS)

69
00:04:02,269 --> 00:04:05,772
Oh, eh, let's try that
a little lower and a lot softer.

70
00:04:06,231 --> 00:04:10,444
Imagine you stowing away
and stealing a licensed starship!

71
00:04:10,527 --> 00:04:13,071
Oh, it's so romantic,
it gives me the shivers!

72
00:04:13,155 --> 00:04:14,489
(SHIVERING)

73
00:04:14,573 --> 00:04:16,700
I don't care how much trouble I get in.

74
00:04:16,783 --> 00:04:20,287
I needed to feel my lips
pressed against your lipless beak.

75
00:04:21,955 --> 00:04:25,792
Oh, Amy, I can't stand having
a whole universe between us.

76
00:04:25,876 --> 00:04:30,881
I've been thinking a lot about this
and, well, would you move in with me?

77
00:04:30,964 --> 00:04:33,425
Here? But, uh...

78
00:04:33,508 --> 00:04:35,010
Wouldn't it be crowded?

79
00:04:35,093 --> 00:04:37,971
Well, no, no. It's really twice the size.

80
00:04:38,055 --> 00:04:40,515
You can use the floor,
and I'll have the ceiling.

81
00:04:40,599 --> 00:04:41,600
See?

82
00:04:43,352 --> 00:04:44,478
(GIGGLES)

83
00:04:44,561 --> 00:04:48,231
Kif, you have so much
creativity and niceness,

84
00:04:48,315 --> 00:04:50,442
but I'm not sure if I...

85
00:04:50,525 --> 00:04:53,946
Hush. Before you answer, come thither.

86
00:04:55,739 --> 00:04:57,199
This is the Holo-Shed.

87
00:04:57,574 --> 00:04:59,868
It can simulate anything you desire

88
00:04:59,952 --> 00:05:03,246
and nothing can hurt you,
except when it malfunctions

89
00:05:03,330 --> 00:05:04,831
and the holograms become real.

90
00:05:04,915 --> 00:05:07,334
Well, that probably
won't happen this time.

91
00:05:07,417 --> 00:05:11,088
I wanted to show you what life
could be like if we were together.

92
00:05:11,171 --> 00:05:14,174
Computer, run program "Kif One."

93
00:05:14,257 --> 00:05:16,176
(WHIRRING)

94
00:05:16,259 --> 00:05:17,552
(GASPS)

95
00:05:17,636 --> 00:05:19,513
This is so beautiful!

96
00:05:20,597 --> 00:05:21,848
Spirit!

97
00:05:21,932 --> 00:05:23,892
Kif, that's the pony I always wanted

98
00:05:23,976 --> 00:05:26,478
but my parents said
I had too many ponies already.

99
00:05:26,561 --> 00:05:29,398
Yes, I programmed it in for you.

100
00:05:29,481 --> 00:05:31,984
Four million lines of BASIC.

101
00:05:32,067 --> 00:05:35,529
And... And if this isn't the life
you want, how about this?

102
00:05:35,612 --> 00:05:37,698
Run program "Kif Two."

103
00:05:37,781 --> 00:05:39,491
(WHIRRING)

104
00:05:40,242 --> 00:05:41,702
Oh, Kif!

105
00:05:41,785 --> 00:05:46,039
We could live here at the shore
of the Tranquilibrius Sea in a time-share.

106
00:05:46,498 --> 00:05:49,084
And I would pluck the moon from the sky

107
00:05:49,167 --> 00:05:50,877
just to see you smile.

108
00:05:51,545 --> 00:05:53,338
(GRUNTING)

109
00:05:53,422 --> 00:05:54,881
Almost got it.

110
00:05:55,507 --> 00:05:57,676
It seems to be sort of stuck.

111
00:05:58,260 --> 00:05:59,553
(GROANING)

112
00:05:59,636 --> 00:06:00,887
I love you!

113
00:06:01,972 --> 00:06:03,557
(GURGLING) Ooh!

114
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,851
(COUGHING)

115
00:06:05,934 --> 00:06:08,937
Run program "Kif colon slash slash three."

116
00:06:09,980 --> 00:06:11,648
(WHIRRING)

117
00:06:11,732 --> 00:06:12,941
(WIND BLOWING)

118
00:06:13,025 --> 00:06:14,192
AMY: This isn't bad.

119
00:06:14,276 --> 00:06:15,944
My aunt had a place like this.

120
00:06:16,028 --> 00:06:19,489
Amy, we could live in
a bus station bathroom for all I care.

121
00:06:19,573 --> 00:06:22,993
As long as we're together,
it'll feel like a castle to me.

122
00:06:23,619 --> 00:06:27,831
Kif, I'd love to live with you... Someday.

123
00:06:28,332 --> 00:06:31,460
But before then, there's still lots
I want to do on my own.

124
00:06:32,169 --> 00:06:33,754
(STATIC)

125
00:06:33,837 --> 00:06:34,838
What was that?

126
00:06:34,921 --> 00:06:38,425
Oh, dear. I fear the Holo-Shed
might be broken again.

127
00:06:38,508 --> 00:06:41,595
Well, as long as we don't
cross paths with Attila the...

128
00:06:41,678 --> 00:06:43,388
(ATTILA ROARS)

129
00:06:43,472 --> 00:06:44,890
(KIF SIGHS)

130
00:06:44,973 --> 00:06:46,600
AMY: Look... Spirit!

131
00:06:46,683 --> 00:06:48,393
(LOUD, HORRIFIC NEIGHING)

132
00:06:48,477 --> 00:06:50,062
KIF: And there's Professor Moriarty.

133
00:06:50,145 --> 00:06:51,480
Jack the Ripper.

134
00:06:51,563 --> 00:06:53,065
Evil Lincoln.

135
00:06:53,148 --> 00:06:55,359
(EVIL LAUGHTER)

136
00:06:55,442 --> 00:06:56,568
Right-o, gents.

137
00:06:56,652 --> 00:07:00,155
It's another simulation gone mad,
so murder and mayhem.

138
00:07:00,238 --> 00:07:01,531
Standard procedure.

139
00:07:01,615 --> 00:07:03,867
(ALL YELLING)

140
00:07:06,078 --> 00:07:10,791
Real holographic simulated
evil Lincoln is back!

141
00:07:11,208 --> 00:07:13,460
(GRUNTS)

142
00:07:13,543 --> 00:07:15,128
(AMY GASPS)

143
00:07:17,881 --> 00:07:19,383
(AMY WHIMPERING)

144
00:07:19,466 --> 00:07:21,093
The Holo-Shed's on the fritz again.

145
00:07:21,176 --> 00:07:22,469
The characters turned real!

146
00:07:22,552 --> 00:07:26,473
Damn! The last time that happened,
I got slapped with three paternity suits.

147
00:07:27,391 --> 00:07:29,017
(FIERCE NEIGHING)

148
00:07:29,101 --> 00:07:30,519
- Oh, my God!
- I want Daddy!

149
00:07:30,602 --> 00:07:32,813
Listen up, history's greatest villains.

150
00:07:32,896 --> 00:07:36,400
Get back into the Holo-Shed
before I start blasting.

151
00:07:36,525 --> 00:07:37,651
Stop!

152
00:07:37,734 --> 00:07:40,153
No shoot fire stick in space canoe!

153
00:07:40,237 --> 00:07:42,656
Cause explosive decompression!

154
00:07:42,739 --> 00:07:46,493
Spare me your space-age
techno-babble, Attila the Hun.

155
00:07:49,788 --> 00:07:51,748
(SCREAMING)

156
00:07:55,294 --> 00:07:57,713
(SCREAMING)

157
00:07:57,796 --> 00:07:59,047
Oh!

158
00:07:59,131 --> 00:08:02,592
(ALL GRUNTING)

159
00:08:03,343 --> 00:08:04,511
Hey!

160
00:08:04,594 --> 00:08:06,471
Kif, hold on!

161
00:08:06,596 --> 00:08:07,973
I totally want to!

162
00:08:08,056 --> 00:08:09,308
(GASPS)

163
00:08:09,391 --> 00:08:11,685
(GRUNTING AND GROANING)

164
00:08:11,768 --> 00:08:13,770
- (YELLS)
- Grab on!

165
00:08:13,854 --> 00:08:16,356
- Over here!
- Please hold me. Oh, dear.

166
00:08:16,898 --> 00:08:17,899
Have a good one.

167
00:08:17,983 --> 00:08:19,735
(SCREAMING)

168
00:08:21,445 --> 00:08:22,696
Ow! Oh...

169
00:08:22,779 --> 00:08:24,156
(GRUNTS AND GROANS)

170
00:08:24,239 --> 00:08:25,741
Aw, man!

171
00:08:25,824 --> 00:08:29,286
Whew! After all that,
I could use some relaxation.

172
00:08:29,369 --> 00:08:31,079
I'll be in the Holo-Shed.

173
00:08:39,087 --> 00:08:41,089
(WHIRRING)

174
00:08:41,173 --> 00:08:45,385
Well, except for a few broken bones,
some internal hemorrhaging

175
00:08:45,469 --> 00:08:48,805
and a partially barfed-up heart,
everyone appears fine.

176
00:08:48,889 --> 00:08:50,182
ALL: Whew!

177
00:08:50,766 --> 00:08:52,559
Oh, and Kif is pregnant.

178
00:08:52,643 --> 00:08:53,810
(GASPS)

179
00:08:53,894 --> 00:08:55,103
(ALL GASPING)

180
00:08:55,646 --> 00:08:57,064
Oh, joy!

181
00:09:03,654 --> 00:09:05,364
Amy, isn't it wonderful?

182
00:09:05,447 --> 00:09:06,573
I'm pregnant.

183
00:09:06,657 --> 00:09:08,617
Yes, it's great.

184
00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:10,494
A great miracle.

185
00:09:10,577 --> 00:09:13,705
And not one of those bogus
everyday miracles like a sunrise.

186
00:09:13,789 --> 00:09:15,123
Aren't you a male?

187
00:09:15,207 --> 00:09:16,291
Yeah, what's the deal?

188
00:09:16,375 --> 00:09:19,086
Just when I thought
I figured out you biological creatures,

189
00:09:19,169 --> 00:09:20,295
it's something else!

190
00:09:20,379 --> 00:09:21,755
Let me at him!

191
00:09:21,838 --> 00:09:23,256
I'm going to take...

192
00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:24,800
(BENDER GRUNTING)

193
00:09:24,883 --> 00:09:29,346
Look, I'm sure we're all a little unclear
on how anyone gets pregnant.

194
00:09:29,429 --> 00:09:31,056
So, Kif, pray explain,

195
00:09:31,139 --> 00:09:33,934
and don't spare the dirty words
where appropriate.

196
00:09:34,017 --> 00:09:35,978
Well, it's quite simple, really.

197
00:09:36,061 --> 00:09:39,564
When one of my species
experiences deep feelings of love,

198
00:09:39,648 --> 00:09:42,526
we enter a so-called "receptive state."

199
00:09:42,609 --> 00:09:44,987
You disgust me. Go on.

200
00:09:45,070 --> 00:09:46,196
At that point,

201
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:48,907
our skin becomes a semi-permeable membrane

202
00:09:48,991 --> 00:09:51,827
which allows the passage
of genetic material.

203
00:09:51,910 --> 00:09:55,330
I held Amy's hand, and voilà.

204
00:09:55,414 --> 00:09:58,875
Well, okay,
but that better be all there is.

205
00:09:58,959 --> 00:10:01,795
Oh, Amy, you'll be a mother!

206
00:10:06,591 --> 00:10:10,971
What a wondrous affirmation of our love
and all from the touch of your hand.

207
00:10:11,054 --> 00:10:12,514
(GIGGLING)

208
00:10:12,597 --> 00:10:13,765
Dude, hold up.

209
00:10:13,849 --> 00:10:15,642
Remember when Zapp
blew a hole in the ship?

210
00:10:15,726 --> 00:10:16,768
Indeed.

211
00:10:16,852 --> 00:10:18,145
FRY: Kif touched everybody there.

212
00:10:18,228 --> 00:10:20,063
Couldn't any one of us be the mother?

213
00:10:20,147 --> 00:10:21,398
Hey, yeah!

214
00:10:21,481 --> 00:10:23,025
I mean, what about that, Kif?

215
00:10:23,108 --> 00:10:26,278
Well, I suppose I might have
gotten pregnant that way,

216
00:10:26,361 --> 00:10:28,030
or even from a toilet seat,

217
00:10:28,113 --> 00:10:31,825
though that's impossible
since I have a private washroom.

218
00:10:31,908 --> 00:10:33,076
(TOILET FLUSHES)

219
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:34,828
Ah, my home away from home.

220
00:10:34,911 --> 00:10:39,374
By the way, Kif, your flush seems to be
set on "stun," not "kill."

221
00:10:39,458 --> 00:10:42,002
(NERVOUS STUTTERING)

222
00:10:42,961 --> 00:10:46,923
Look, Kif, I probably am the mother
although maybe I'm not.

223
00:10:47,007 --> 00:10:48,383
Of course, I hope I am,

224
00:10:48,467 --> 00:10:51,637
but just in case I'm not,
maybe we should have a test.

225
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:52,721
A test!

226
00:10:52,804 --> 00:10:54,723
I demand a test!

227
00:10:58,977 --> 00:11:00,520
Even I laughed at me

228
00:11:00,604 --> 00:11:04,274
when I built this alien
cross-species genetic analyzer,

229
00:11:04,358 --> 00:11:06,610
but I guess I showed myself.

230
00:11:06,693 --> 00:11:09,321
Subjects, please enter the chamber.

231
00:11:14,618 --> 00:11:17,162
Now to take a DNA sample.

232
00:11:20,207 --> 00:11:21,541
(INHALES DEEPLY)

233
00:11:25,796 --> 00:11:27,339
When I pull this switch,

234
00:11:27,422 --> 00:11:31,134
the maternifuge will spin at 10,000 RPM,

235
00:11:31,218 --> 00:11:34,137
separating out everyone
who isn't the mother...

236
00:11:34,846 --> 00:11:36,807
Father... Whatever.

237
00:11:38,684 --> 00:11:41,228
(ALL SCREAMING)

238
00:11:43,897 --> 00:11:45,399
Faster, faster!

239
00:11:53,573 --> 00:11:54,616
(GRUNTS)

240
00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:58,662
Good! Fry's ejection indicates
that he is not the man-mama.

241
00:11:59,079 --> 00:12:00,872
(GRUNTING)

242
00:12:02,582 --> 00:12:04,376
Nor is Captain Brannigan.

243
00:12:04,459 --> 00:12:06,128
Oh, thank you, merciful God.

244
00:12:06,211 --> 00:12:07,671
(GRUNTS)

245
00:12:08,505 --> 00:12:12,092
Zoidberg? What the hell
were you doing in there?

246
00:12:12,175 --> 00:12:13,510
That's where I live.

247
00:12:13,593 --> 00:12:15,178
I have no home.

248
00:12:19,808 --> 00:12:21,643
(AMY SCREAMING)

249
00:12:23,270 --> 00:12:25,772
Amy? But that means...

250
00:12:33,322 --> 00:12:37,200
Leela must have impregnated me
when she grabbed my ungloved hand.

251
00:12:37,284 --> 00:12:39,494
That explains the poster
in hygiene class...

252
00:12:39,578 --> 00:12:41,580
"No glove, no love."

253
00:12:41,663 --> 00:12:44,207
Wow, this is all so confusing.

254
00:12:44,291 --> 00:12:46,209
Leela, how could you?

255
00:12:46,293 --> 00:12:48,795
Our love has had to endure
your constant hatred,

256
00:12:48,879 --> 00:12:50,130
and now this?

257
00:12:50,213 --> 00:12:52,591
Stop testing our love!

258
00:12:52,674 --> 00:12:54,551
Oh, please, Captain.

259
00:12:54,635 --> 00:12:57,429
I thank Leela for the DNA she gave me,

260
00:12:57,512 --> 00:12:58,889
but in my species,

261
00:12:58,972 --> 00:13:02,726
the true parent is the one
who inspired the initial feeling of love.

262
00:13:02,809 --> 00:13:08,357
We call that person the Smizmar,
and my Smizmar is Amy.

263
00:13:08,940 --> 00:13:11,944
So the toilet seat is like
the uncle or something?

264
00:13:14,196 --> 00:13:16,490
Sorry I got your boyfriend pregnant.

265
00:13:16,573 --> 00:13:17,699
That's okay.

266
00:13:17,783 --> 00:13:19,785
At least Kif's baby shower should be fun.

267
00:13:19,868 --> 00:13:21,453
I better put it on my calendar.

268
00:13:23,038 --> 00:13:25,791
Thursday, baby shower. Enter.

269
00:13:25,874 --> 00:13:27,000
(BEEP)

270
00:13:27,125 --> 00:13:29,378
Might as well plan
for my new life while I'm at it.

271
00:13:29,795 --> 00:13:31,797
Set motherhood mode.

272
00:13:32,464 --> 00:13:33,882
(BEEP)

273
00:13:39,596 --> 00:13:40,806
To motherhood.

274
00:13:41,890 --> 00:13:43,892
(BOTH CHUGGING)

275
00:13:47,312 --> 00:13:49,773
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

276
00:13:54,027 --> 00:13:57,197
Mom, Dad, I know this is weird, but...

277
00:13:57,281 --> 00:14:00,075
Yeah, yeah, we don't care how
squishy alien get pregnant.

278
00:14:00,158 --> 00:14:02,494
All we care is that
we have grandchild now.

279
00:14:02,577 --> 00:14:04,454
You're very open-minded, Mrs. Wong.

280
00:14:04,538 --> 00:14:06,081
Hey, you call her Grandma now.

281
00:14:06,164 --> 00:14:08,667
Call me Grandma like crazy. All the time.

282
00:14:09,501 --> 00:14:10,669
Check it out, y'all.

283
00:14:10,752 --> 00:14:12,212
Everyone we invited is here...

284
00:14:12,296 --> 00:14:13,672
Also Zoidberg!

285
00:14:13,755 --> 00:14:15,173
...so let's open the gifts!

286
00:14:15,257 --> 00:14:17,134
(ALL CHEERING)

287
00:14:17,217 --> 00:14:20,512
Can't wait.
We'll start with this one from Bender.

288
00:14:24,850 --> 00:14:27,102
It's my booties from when I was a kid.

289
00:14:27,185 --> 00:14:29,438
Uh, they're already bronzed.

290
00:14:29,521 --> 00:14:30,689
They are bronze.

291
00:14:30,772 --> 00:14:33,442
And this one's from Leela.

292
00:14:33,525 --> 00:14:35,527
Oh, I just love the bow.

293
00:14:35,611 --> 00:14:37,154
I wonder what it is.

294
00:14:37,237 --> 00:14:39,364
Yes, I wonder what we got you.

295
00:14:39,448 --> 00:14:40,574
(GRUNTS)

296
00:14:40,657 --> 00:14:43,285
(GASPS) It's a basket.

297
00:14:43,368 --> 00:14:44,494
For picnics?

298
00:14:44,578 --> 00:14:45,996
It means a lot to me.

299
00:14:46,079 --> 00:14:49,333
It's the basket my parents left me in
at the Orphanarium.

300
00:14:49,416 --> 00:14:51,168
You could use it for picnics.

301
00:14:51,251 --> 00:14:53,503
Here, Amy. We get this one for you.

302
00:14:53,587 --> 00:14:55,631
Oh, is it a new party-board?

303
00:14:57,090 --> 00:14:58,383
It's a board, all right.

304
00:14:58,467 --> 00:15:00,093
An ironing board.

305
00:15:00,177 --> 00:15:04,681
We had your old party-board converted
now that you not be partying anymore.

306
00:15:04,765 --> 00:15:07,392
You... You trashed my party-board?

307
00:15:07,476 --> 00:15:08,477
Damn right.

308
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:13,065
Now you a mom, the only surfing you do
is under a big wave of responsibility.

309
00:15:13,148 --> 00:15:16,652
Oh, this is the happiest
moment of my life.

310
00:15:16,735 --> 00:15:20,781
You all brought such wonderful gifts,
but the greatest gift...

311
00:15:20,864 --> 00:15:21,865
Mine!

312
00:15:21,949 --> 00:15:24,993
...is the bond I share
with my Smizmar Amy,

313
00:15:25,077 --> 00:15:28,205
for soon, the quivering
mass of life within me

314
00:15:28,288 --> 00:15:30,207
will depend upon us both.

315
00:15:30,290 --> 00:15:32,167
Even now, I can sense it

316
00:15:32,250 --> 00:15:36,296
feeding, squirming, searching, questing,

317
00:15:36,380 --> 00:15:39,883
and shortly,
it will rend my loins in twain,

318
00:15:39,967 --> 00:15:43,553
burst forth and pull us down, down, down

319
00:15:43,637 --> 00:15:46,264
into the deep, dark waters of commitment.

320
00:15:46,348 --> 00:15:50,060
That's so beautiful. (SNIFFLING)

321
00:15:50,143 --> 00:15:52,646
Yes, it's... It's...

322
00:15:52,729 --> 00:15:54,022
(SOBBING)

323
00:15:54,106 --> 00:15:56,400
No, I can't do this!

324
00:15:56,942 --> 00:15:58,944
(SOBBING)

325
00:15:59,027 --> 00:16:00,529
(ALL GASPING)

326
00:16:00,612 --> 00:16:02,656
(INFANT-LIKE CRYING)

327
00:16:10,914 --> 00:16:13,041
Oh, how could Amy leave me?

328
00:16:13,125 --> 00:16:15,585
When will women learn
to take responsibility

329
00:16:15,669 --> 00:16:17,671
for the children they've helped create?

330
00:16:17,754 --> 00:16:19,298
(GURGLING)

331
00:16:19,381 --> 00:16:21,883
The quickening! My time is near!

332
00:16:21,967 --> 00:16:25,512
I must return to my homeworld
to perform the ancient birthing rites.

333
00:16:25,929 --> 00:16:27,681
Let me know how that turns out.

334
00:16:48,785 --> 00:16:51,288
I must now embark on a perilous journey

335
00:16:51,371 --> 00:16:54,875
to give birth in precisely the same swamp
in which I was born.

336
00:16:54,958 --> 00:16:57,377
If it's so dangerous,
I'd better go with you.

337
00:16:57,461 --> 00:16:59,379
A gal has to protect her DNA.

338
00:16:59,463 --> 00:17:00,631
No, Leela.

339
00:17:00,714 --> 00:17:04,009
Tradition demands that
I make this journey with my Smizmar,

340
00:17:04,092 --> 00:17:07,888
and since Amy isn't here,
I must go it alone.

341
00:17:07,971 --> 00:17:11,308
Farewell, for we may never meet again.

342
00:17:14,978 --> 00:17:16,313
(GRUNTS)

343
00:17:17,064 --> 00:17:19,608
My scrapes feel a little better now.

344
00:17:19,691 --> 00:17:22,402
(GRUNTING)

345
00:17:22,945 --> 00:17:25,530
Hey, what's this fat, ugly thing?

346
00:17:25,614 --> 00:17:28,200
A frog, a toad, or yo' mama?

347
00:17:28,283 --> 00:17:30,285
(LAUGHING)

348
00:17:31,411 --> 00:17:32,913
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

349
00:17:32,996 --> 00:17:34,498
It's a poisonous froad!

350
00:17:34,581 --> 00:17:35,874
No one move.

351
00:17:35,958 --> 00:17:37,584
(INHALING DEEPLY)

352
00:17:39,878 --> 00:17:41,046
(SQUEALS)

353
00:17:42,214 --> 00:17:44,883
I'm back, baby. (EXHALES)

354
00:17:53,266 --> 00:17:54,518
Behold...

355
00:17:54,601 --> 00:17:58,480
The sacred ancestral
birthing grounds of my family.

356
00:17:58,563 --> 00:18:00,774
(SNIFFING) Smells like a jockstrap.

357
00:18:05,862 --> 00:18:08,448
I am the Grand Midwife!

358
00:18:08,532 --> 00:18:09,533
Hi.

359
00:18:09,616 --> 00:18:13,203
I am Kif of the clan Kroker,
come to bear my young.

360
00:18:13,287 --> 00:18:16,748
Then let the tea of new life be brewed.

361
00:18:16,832 --> 00:18:21,795
As it is writ,
"And both shall lift the jug together."

362
00:18:22,170 --> 00:18:23,588
Where is your Smizmar?

363
00:18:23,672 --> 00:18:25,132
She is not with me.

364
00:18:25,215 --> 00:18:27,134
Oh, the sorrow!

365
00:18:27,217 --> 00:18:29,344
Oh, the shame!

366
00:18:29,803 --> 00:18:32,139
I'm sorry. I'm probably just
making you feel worse.

367
00:18:32,222 --> 00:18:34,683
As long as Amy is with me in my heart,

368
00:18:34,766 --> 00:18:36,768
I will have the strength of two.

369
00:18:37,352 --> 00:18:39,354
(STRAINED GRUNTING)

370
00:18:41,898 --> 00:18:45,068
Apparently Amy hasn't been
working out much lately.

371
00:18:45,152 --> 00:18:47,779
(GRUNTING)

372
00:18:51,033 --> 00:18:53,076
As the tea boils,

373
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:56,038
please join hands
with your beloved Smizmar.

374
00:18:57,414 --> 00:18:58,415
Oh, right.

375
00:18:58,498 --> 00:19:01,043
Sorry, but I've memorized
the ceremony by rote

376
00:19:01,126 --> 00:19:02,294
and it mentions her a lot.

377
00:19:02,377 --> 00:19:03,503
I'll try to endure.

378
00:19:03,587 --> 00:19:04,963
Good, 'cause I'm not changing it.

379
00:19:05,047 --> 00:19:09,593
Now turn, ye two,
and gaze deeply into each other's eyes.

380
00:19:11,219 --> 00:19:12,554
What are you looking at?

381
00:19:12,846 --> 00:19:15,891
May the love I sense
between you at this moment

382
00:19:15,974 --> 00:19:19,186
remain with you both
through all your days.

383
00:19:19,853 --> 00:19:21,772
(SOBBING)

384
00:19:22,939 --> 00:19:25,067
The tea of new life is ready.

385
00:19:25,442 --> 00:19:28,320
Let those whose love created this life

386
00:19:28,403 --> 00:19:31,073
speak each other's names, then drink.

387
00:19:35,994 --> 00:19:37,788
(QUIETLY) Amy.

388
00:19:37,871 --> 00:19:39,331
AMY: Kif!

389
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:42,960
(ALL GASPING)

390
00:19:43,043 --> 00:19:46,588
Amy, is it you
or have I gone crazy with loneliness?

391
00:19:46,672 --> 00:19:47,673
Both!

392
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:50,926
(SQUEALS)

393
00:19:51,802 --> 00:19:53,720
I still don't know if I'm ready for this,

394
00:19:53,804 --> 00:19:55,681
but I do know I love you

395
00:19:55,764 --> 00:19:57,599
and I want to be here beside you.

396
00:19:57,683 --> 00:19:59,393
Great, now I lost my place.

397
00:19:59,476 --> 00:20:00,978
I'm starting over.

398
00:20:01,061 --> 00:20:02,562
Oh, no time.

399
00:20:02,646 --> 00:20:03,855
It is begun.

400
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,319
(PAINED MOANING) Oh, my...

401
00:20:11,071 --> 00:20:13,657
(SQUISHING NOISES)

402
00:20:13,740 --> 00:20:14,908
Ew.

403
00:20:14,992 --> 00:20:16,410
Neat!

404
00:20:16,493 --> 00:20:18,120
You can do it, Kif.

405
00:20:18,203 --> 00:20:19,830
(MOANING)

406
00:20:19,913 --> 00:20:21,290
Ooh, nilly!

407
00:20:21,456 --> 00:20:24,543
(GROANING)

408
00:20:27,838 --> 00:20:29,798
(LIQUID WHOOSH)

409
00:20:29,881 --> 00:20:31,133
(GASPING)

410
00:20:33,010 --> 00:20:34,511
Oh, man!

411
00:20:40,559 --> 00:20:44,313
Amy, my love, tell me,
are they making it to the water?

412
00:20:50,193 --> 00:20:51,320
Amy!

413
00:20:51,403 --> 00:20:52,946
Shoo!

414
00:20:53,030 --> 00:20:54,781
Stay away from my babies! (GRUNTS)

415
00:21:03,457 --> 00:21:05,167
(RATTLING)

416
00:21:05,250 --> 00:21:07,336
The birthing is complete.

417
00:21:07,419 --> 00:21:09,087
(ALL CHEERING)

418
00:21:09,171 --> 00:21:10,213
Oh, thank goodness.

419
00:21:10,297 --> 00:21:12,466
I will now take my leave.

420
00:21:12,591 --> 00:21:15,802
I live here, so I won't actually
be going anywhere,

421
00:21:15,886 --> 00:21:18,263
but you don't have to talk to me anymore.

422
00:21:18,805 --> 00:21:20,140
- Congratulations!
- Nice work.

423
00:21:20,223 --> 00:21:21,350
Way to go, squishy!

424
00:21:23,977 --> 00:21:25,479
LEELA: There goes my DNA.

425
00:21:25,646 --> 00:21:28,315
What a disgusting and beautiful process.

426
00:21:28,398 --> 00:21:29,900
That's birth for you.

427
00:21:29,983 --> 00:21:32,527
Well, we've given them a great start, Amy,

428
00:21:32,611 --> 00:21:37,658
and in 20 years, they'll sprout legs
and crawl back onto land as children.

429
00:21:38,700 --> 00:21:40,160
I'll be ready then.

430
00:21:57,260 --> 00:21:59,262
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)