(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(SHRIEKING)
Pazuzu, you ungrateful gargoyle!
I put you through college, and this is how you repay me?
FARNSWORTH: Let's get this gargoyle hunt on the road.
Driving gloves, driving goggles, driving thong. There.
Uh, maybe I should drive.
(LAUGHING)
You? A woman?
I'm trying to catch a monster,
not find the quickest route to the mall!
Let me just adjust the seat...
(SCREECHING, THUDS)
- (GRUNTING) - (GEARS GRINDING)
Whoa! Oh!
My God, he's going to do it.
Everyone, seat belts to maximum buckling!
(BEEPING)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
FARNSWORTH: Pazuzu!
(HORNS HONKING)
- Oh, Pazuzu! - (HONKING CONTINUES)
Hey, grandpa, move your wrinkly old keister!
Shut up!
For Heaven's Gate, Professor this ship can do 99% light speed.
Why are we going 35 miles an hour?
Because we're in a hurry, that's why!
Plus, you have the high beams on.
FARNSWORTH: I can't quite read the sign.
(EXPLOSION)
Pazuzu!
Yo, Captain Cataracts.
What are we doing here?
Oh, it's 2:30.
We can still catch the early bird dinner special.
Uh, aren't we looking for your gargoyle?
My wha...
Hello, Mavis.
Surprised to see me back again so soon?
Mavis is dead.
I expect you'll want to see my Angry, Crotchety Grandpa Discount Card.
Sir, this card is expired.
But it's good for a lifetime.
Well, yours expired.
Ooh.
Oh, Lord.
Teeth do not belong in your pants, Professor.
Well, I can't keep them in my mouth.
They're nuclear-powered!
(CLACKING)
Ow! It bit my finger!
No! No! It's tasted human blood.
(PATRONS SCREAMING)
(SLURPING)
Mm...
Damn good meat.
- (SNORING) - (DOOR OPENS)
(GASPING, MOANING)
Professor, we've talked it over, and everybody thinks you're too old.
- Right on. - Yep.
We've decided to do the merciful thing
and have you youth-a-sized.
Dear God, no!
Oh, relax, Professor.
Youth-a-sizing is a trendy new spa treatment.
It's this season's shark cartilage enema.
But I like being old.
I don't have to talk to my parents,
no one asks me to help move their stuff.
I don't need to understand today's edgy TV sitcoms...
Okay, okay. We're not going to force you until I finish this sentence.
Get him!
(MOANING)
My thong!
Hi, I'm Heather, your personal youth-a-sizer.
Let's get started with a nice botulism treatment, shall we?
Go to hell, Heather!
Oh. (GIGGLING)
In small doses, botulism toxin tightens and tones the facial muscles
instead of killing you in the most horrible fashion imaginable.
(SQUEAKING)
(STIFF-LIPPED) Give me back my floppy face.
Oh! Whoo! Ooh!
Careful with the giblets!
Mm, you're still retaining a lot of grump in these joints.
More pressure.
Aah...
(DEVICE WHIRRING)
Since this is such a serious case of old,
we'll have to try our strongest treatment,
a soothing, full-body bath in searing hot tar.
(BUBBLING)
Sir, it's not necessary, or wise, to be naked.
(SPUTTERS) You sound just like my tennis instructor.
(MOANING)
The tar blisters the age right out of the body
in what top scientists suspect is a miracle.
Oh, I don't have time for this!
I have to go buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it,
making people wait behind me while I complain!
He still sounds sort of old.
Sort of real old.
Step aside, lady.
Like everything else in life,
pumping is just a primitive, degenerate form of bending.
(GRUNTING)
Whoa! Whoo!
Oh! Whoa!
(LEVER SQUEAKING),
Come on, Bender, pump harder! Harder!
(WEAKLY) I'm trying as hard as I can.
Harder, damn you!
(RUMBLING)
(ALL YELLING)
(ALL COUGHING, GASPING)
Well, that was an utter waste of time.
(GASPING)
Professor, it worked!
You look young enough to be my father.
Poodle spit!
(DEVICE WHIRRING)
(GASPS) 53 years old?
(GROANS)
Now I'll need a fake ID to rent ultraporn.
This is cool, Professor.
(VOICE CRACKING) We should go out and celebrate.
- Oh, my God. - Huh?
(GASPS, SOBS)
Dear Lord, you've all reverted to your childhood forms.
Hooray, I'm a teenage heartthrob again!
While I try to restore our normal ages
I expect you all to go about your jobs like responsible professionals.
(KIDS LAUGHING)
It wasn't me, Mr. F.
It was Amy.
- Stop it, Amy. - You stink!
- (GRUNTING) - You know you did it.
(ALL YELLING AT ONCE)
Quiet! Quiet, I say!
We're here to take my little stub of a husband home.
Hermes, say goodbye to Mr. Farnsworth.
Goodbye, Mr. Dumbsworth.
(BOTH SNICKERING)
Hey, this is my chance to spend time with my parents, too.
But your parents are gross sewer mutants.
Ow!
(LAUGHING MISCHIEVOUSLY)
When I was an orphan, I always wished
I could grow up with my mom and dad.
And now, thanks to being hurled backwards in time...
That's not what happened!
Shut up and go live with your parents!
(BEEPING)
LEELA: It's going to be totally awesome, Mom.
You and me can bake
and argue about my hairstyle hiding my pretty face.
And if some kid picks on me,
my dad can beat up his dad!
Can't I just beat up the kid?
(CHUCKLING)
Well, okay, Leela.
If you think you can put up with your father,
then welcome home.
We'll try to respect your independence and freedom.
No! I want the real teen experience.
Chores, curfew, the works!
Fine, sweetiekins. We'll be the strictest parents ever.
Now, let's all have some tequila to celebrate.
Dad! I'm underage!
Oh, right.
Here's a Silly Straw.
(INEZ SNIFFLING)
Oh, my Amy is sweet little girl again.
This like a mother's dream.
Bad dream, that is.
At this rate, I'm never going to get a grandchild! Ugh!
Maybe she not grown up, but she sure grown out.
She fat.
Dad, if you're going to make fat jokes till I get cute again,
I'm just going to stay in my room.
Stay in room? You so fat, you going to stay all around room.
(LAUGHING)
I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth.
Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork
every three hours.
And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks.
Now I have to pay them!
I'm tired of your yapping!
(CRASHING)
All you ever do is complain.
You never try to make things better.
Well, I'm running away from this dead-end family.
I know there's a place for people like me, with new ideas.
There has to be!
Fine. Get going.
Oh, I'm going.
And you're going to be all, "Where's Bender?
"I miss Bender."
We won't know that until you leave.
Oh, I'm leaving.
There's the door.
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
- (ENGINE DIES) - I'll be good.
(GROANS)
Do you have to shed your skin on the couch?
What do we live in, a zoo?
(DOORBELL RINGS)
I'm getting the doorbell.
For me?
(CHUCKLING)
Oh, hello, sir.
It's a lovely evening you have tonight.
(VOICE CRACKING) Um, I'm here to pick up your daughter.
Hi, Fry.
I like your blazer.
Thanks. These aren't pockets, they're just flaps.
I put my money in my sock.
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
So, where are you taking my daughter tonight?
(VOICE CRACKING) A movie.
(CLEARS THROAT) A... A movie, ma'am.
Well, whatever you're really doing,
don't wake us if you get in after 12:00.
Dad! You're being too lenient again.
I have to be back by 11:00.
Okay, Okay. You're the boss.
No, I'm not!
I'd like a sewer burger, but without the rat feces.
What, are you on a diet?
Duh, Leela, you look hot.
Geez, Moose, just dump me right in front of her, why don't you?
Moose, Mandy, this is my friend Fry,
from the surface?
Oh, so this is the famous Fry.
What is he, like, the biggest loser on the surface
so he has to hang out in the sewer?
(WHISPERS) They're on to me.
Hey, come on.
Let's act like grown-ups here. Want to race?
Duh, yeah.
(ENGINES REVVING)
(GRUNTS)
Theres.
The world's drinkings water is safes for another days.
Whoas! Cripe!
(SPLASHING)
- (ROARING) - Watch out, Fry!
(SCREAMING)
We missed the turn! We'll never catch them!
Yes, we will!
This sewer goes right under Planet Express
and it's 9:00 p.m.!
(TOILET FLUSHING)
FARNSWORTH: The devil take this predictable colon!
(FRY YELPS)
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERS)
FRY: Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo! All right!
(VOICE CRACKS) Leela, you can stop winning now. We won.
I'm too short to reach the hand brake!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
That's detention.
And then, and then a giant tapeworm tried to play us for chumps!
But we, like, totally dissed Moose.
Yes, I'd like to meet this "Moose."
But in the meantime, I have good news.
I may have solved our age problem.
(VOICE CRACKING) Yay!
(BEEPING)
It seems the youth-a-sizing tar was saturated
with time-altering chronitons.
A thin layer is still stuck to our DNA
as well as Bender's "Robo," or "RNA."
- Question? - Yes?
You stink. (GIGGLES)
Yes, yes. Anyhow, I've designed an oil-eating bacterium
that should take the tar right off.
Come on, let's go tell Leela so we can grow up together.
(KISSING NOISES)
Thanks, Professor, but I don't want the treatment.
Don't you understand, you little nitwit?
Unless you're treated soon,
the only way to restore your true age will be to grow into it,
just as God intended!
He has a point, honey.
What about your job and your friends?
Do you really want to abandon your old life?
My old life wasn't as glamorous as my Web page made it look.
All I ever wanted was to grow up here, with you.
Please?
Well, if it's what you really want...
It is. I know it is.
(VOICE CRACKING) I'll miss you, Leela.
I'll come back and visit when I'm all grown up.
(WHISPERS) Bring beer.
No beer till you finish your tequila.
The age-restoring microbes are ready.
Everyone into the Bacterial Spew Chamber.
- (ALL CHEERING) - Let's go!
Yes, everyone do the same thing.
Initiating controlled infection.
(MACHINE COUGHING AND SNEEZING)
Aah-choo!
DR. ZOIDBERG: I'm no doctor,
but this machine guy could use a lozenge.
(EXCLAIMING)
Aw, poo.
We're even younger.
(DEVICE WHIRRING)
(BEEPING)
Damn! The bacteria pigged out on the tar
and now they're getting freaky-deaky,
spreading chronitons throughout our systems.
We're getting younger by the minute!
- No! - Yikes!
What, I'm going to revert through all my larval stages?
Word. We'll all keep getting younger and younger
until we suffer a fate worse than death,
pre-life!
Then, death.
(BEEPING)
(DEVICE CHIMES)
I've got to stop this reverse aging
before we all shrivel up and suffer the agony of unbirth!
Think, you disco duck, think!
What's that squirmle under your shirt?
Oh, get off me, you parasitic lamprey!
Oh, sure, you need all your blood.
(DR. ZOIDBERG WHOOPING)
(CHILDREN SCREAMING)
Would you all chill?
I can't think with you kids cramping my style!
Ooh, I need a babysitter.
LEELA: Okay, quiet time.
(HAPPY SCREAMS AND GIGGLES)
I know.
Everyone pretend a goblin ate your tongues
and I'll read you a story.
BENDER: Ooh, story! AMY: A story!
I can't see from down here, I can't.
(DR. ZOIDBERG GRUNTS)
There.
Today's story is from Muteen magazine.
Who would you rather hear about?
Four-legged Chachi or tentacle Chachi?
I wanna hear a space story.
It's kind of a baby book, but okay, let's see.
"Snow White Dwarf and the Seven Red Dwarfs"
"Charlotte's Tholian Web"
"The Fountain of Aging."
(GASPS)
FARNSWORTH: The Fountain of Aging?
Hmm, it is just a legend.
Still, they called the Tooth Fairy a legend
and now he's head of the FBI.
'Sup? Kids ready?
Yay, Professy's back!
(SNIFFING) Ew, you smell like smoking...
(SNIFFS) And drinking.
I had a few beers, but I'm cool to drive.
I wish I could come with you to say goodbye
before you all turn back into grown-ups.
But I'm grounded for knocking the school over.
Who cares, Leela?
It was just a public school.
Now, go with your friends, please.
No! A grounded teenager must be confined to her room!
Until she sneaks out.
(GIGGLES)
BENDER: When I grow up, I wanna be a steam shovel.
According to this, the fountain is located
in the darkest, most ancient region of space,
just past Teddy Bear Junction.
Teddy Bear Junction,
the worst scum hole in the galaxy.
This solar system is, like, way old!
Look how high the asteroid belt is pulled up on that planet.
News flash!
Everything's getting older
the closer we get to that ancient burnt-out sun.
Dude! The Fountain of Aging must be on the sun itself!
Shut up! I was gonna say that.
(COOING AND CRYING)
We've got to hurry.
The kids have only one change of pants!
We gotta be real, real careful to stay in
just long enough to make us our right ages again.
Whee!
Zoidberg, get out of there!
The current! It's too much already! Help!
(CHILDREN CRYING)
Jeepers.
Zoidberg is dead!
No, Zoidberg's brother is dead.
Funny story, I just reverted to the age
when my siblings budded from me
and my brother Norman split off and jumped in the fountain.
He always had to be the center of attention!
- Good riddance! - Let him go!
Oh, no!
Quick! Get them into the fountain!
Thanks for the help, Weewa.
Once we're growed up, you can go back to your famwy.
We'll never bother you again.
Well, you could bother me a little.
Ooh... Oh!
It's working! Hooray!
I can't hold on!
(ALL SCREAMING)
I'm coming in after you!
FARNSWORTH: No, Leela!
You can't give you up your childhood!
You'll never have another chance at it!
(DR. ZOIDBERG GROANING)
(ALL COUGHING)
We did it! We're the right ages again.
I think I might be a couple years younger!
Oh, me, too!
FARNSWORTH: (GROANING) Help!
I'm still in mid-peril, you clods!
He's too far out! We can't reach him!
With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!
(GURGLES)
(SHRIEKING)
Pazuzu!
Oh, you came back to me!
Are you back to your original age, Professor?
(DEVICE WHIRRING)
(BEEPING)
Even older!
- Huzzah! - (BONES CREAK)
I'm sorry you had to give up being a kid, Leela.
Well, I guess every adult wants to be a kid again sometimes
but I worked hard to be the person I am.
The fabulous person!
With friends like you guys...
Fabulous friends!
Mm. And I'm really happy I have that life back.
And you, my faithful fiend,
how can I ever repay you?
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) And that, little one,
is how Papa gain his freedom.
Now, bonne nuit.
Bonne nuit to you all.
(BELLS CHIMING THEME SONG)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)