1
00:00:00,988 --> 00:00:02,281
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:02,364 --> 00:00:03,824
FRY: Whoo!

3
00:00:03,907 --> 00:00:05,284
(SCATTING)

4
00:00:05,367 --> 00:00:06,368
BENDER: Two, three.

5
00:00:06,451 --> 00:00:07,494
(BEATBOXING)

6
00:00:07,578 --> 00:00:08,579
FARNSWORTH: Oh, my!

7
00:00:09,454 --> 00:00:10,497
BENDER: Here we go, y'all!

8
00:00:10,581 --> 00:00:12,416
DR. ZOIDBERG: Zoidberg. Zoidberg.

9
00:00:12,499 --> 00:00:14,501
Z-Z-Z-Z-Zoidberg.

10
00:00:14,585 --> 00:00:18,714
(VOCALIZING)

11
00:00:18,797 --> 00:00:21,800
BENDER: This is a story
about all my friends.

12
00:00:23,427 --> 00:00:25,178
FARNSWORTH: Why? Why?

13
00:00:29,683 --> 00:00:32,060
NARRATOR: Previously on All My Circuits...

14
00:00:32,144 --> 00:00:34,021
(ORGAN PLAYS)

15
00:00:34,104 --> 00:00:37,024
I'm sorry, Father,
but somewhere along the way,

16
00:00:37,107 --> 00:00:39,067
I forgot how to be your son.

17
00:00:39,151 --> 00:00:40,527
Why, Antonio?

18
00:00:40,611 --> 00:00:43,280
Because I have amnesia!

19
00:00:44,615 --> 00:00:46,658
(KISSING SOUNDS)

20
00:00:48,452 --> 00:00:49,494
Calculon!

21
00:00:49,578 --> 00:00:50,621
But I thought you were...

22
00:00:50,704 --> 00:00:51,872
Egyptian?

23
00:00:52,956 --> 00:00:55,959
Before I kill you,
I must ask you one question.

24
00:00:56,043 --> 00:00:57,085
Who am I?

25
00:00:57,169 --> 00:00:59,588
For I have amnesia!

26
00:01:01,131 --> 00:01:03,592
Let me get this straight.

27
00:01:03,675 --> 00:01:05,928
Does anyone here not have amnesia?

28
00:01:06,011 --> 00:01:07,220
(ALL MURMURING)

29
00:01:07,304 --> 00:01:08,388
I don't know.

30
00:01:09,806 --> 00:01:11,934
This show is awesome.

31
00:01:12,017 --> 00:01:14,937
When I grow up, I'm going
to have so much amnesia.

32
00:01:15,020 --> 00:01:16,021
Me, too.

33
00:01:16,104 --> 00:01:18,065
I mean, I have it now, but I forgot.

34
00:01:18,148 --> 00:01:19,733
Well, mine's louder.

35
00:01:19,816 --> 00:01:21,526
Cram a ham in it, you twerps.

36
00:01:21,610 --> 00:01:22,611
- (YELPS)
- (BOTTLE BREAKS)

37
00:01:22,694 --> 00:01:23,737
Sorry.

38
00:01:23,820 --> 00:01:25,113
Nah, I had it coming.

39
00:01:25,197 --> 00:01:27,032
(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)

40
00:01:27,491 --> 00:01:28,825
CALCULON: Welcome, swingers.

41
00:01:28,909 --> 00:01:31,620
Pull up a groove and get fabulous.

42
00:01:31,703 --> 00:01:32,955
Nude rock bands,

43
00:01:33,038 --> 00:01:35,540
big piles of what I assume
is talcum powder...

44
00:01:35,624 --> 00:01:38,043
It's quite a birthday party, Calculon.

45
00:01:38,126 --> 00:01:39,127
Cool!

46
00:01:39,211 --> 00:01:41,088
I'm going to have
a fabulacious birthday party

47
00:01:41,171 --> 00:01:42,464
just like Calculon.

48
00:01:42,547 --> 00:01:45,092
Oh, yeah?
Well, I'm going to show up looking good

49
00:01:45,175 --> 00:01:46,176
just like Monique.

50
00:01:46,260 --> 00:01:49,346
Do you two have to imitate
everything you see on TV?

51
00:01:49,429 --> 00:01:52,224
Um, we're 12, so yes.

52
00:01:52,307 --> 00:01:53,308
Hold up, Cubert.

53
00:01:53,392 --> 00:01:54,935
You're a clone of the professor.

54
00:01:55,018 --> 00:01:56,937
Do clones even have birthdays?

55
00:01:57,020 --> 00:01:58,355
Um, duh.

56
00:01:59,231 --> 00:02:00,357
Duh, what?

57
00:02:02,693 --> 00:02:05,612
(GROWLING)

58
00:02:06,530 --> 00:02:09,032
Dad, do I have a birthday?

59
00:02:09,116 --> 00:02:10,200
Hmm.

60
00:02:10,284 --> 00:02:13,203
You didn't have a birth,
so technically, no.

61
00:02:13,287 --> 00:02:14,288
(GROANS)

62
00:02:14,371 --> 00:02:16,623
Oh, don't feel bad.

63
00:02:16,707 --> 00:02:20,419
We can celebrate the day
I extracted you from the cloning tank.

64
00:02:20,502 --> 00:02:24,715
Or the day I scraped your DNA
from that growth on my back.

65
00:02:24,798 --> 00:02:25,882
Ooh, that one!

66
00:02:25,966 --> 00:02:29,469
Ah, yes, it was 13 years ago next week.

67
00:02:29,886 --> 00:02:31,888
I used this very fork.

68
00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:34,141
Oh, well, isn't that...

69
00:02:34,224 --> 00:02:35,350
(YELPS)

70
00:02:35,434 --> 00:02:37,728
Hey, next week will be my birthday, too.

71
00:02:37,811 --> 00:02:38,812
That's true.

72
00:02:38,895 --> 00:02:40,480
If only there were a way to have

73
00:02:40,564 --> 00:02:42,482
one party for both of you
here at the office,

74
00:02:42,566 --> 00:02:44,568
then write it off as a business expense.

75
00:02:44,651 --> 00:02:46,486
Wait! I thought of a way.

76
00:02:46,570 --> 00:02:47,738
The way I just said.

77
00:02:47,821 --> 00:02:49,448
- Yeah.
- Way to go, Pops.

78
00:02:49,656 --> 00:02:52,534
BENDER: Something's happening
on television!

79
00:02:52,993 --> 00:02:54,578
(PANTING)

80
00:02:55,662 --> 00:02:59,333
Oh, Monique, why did we wait so many years

81
00:02:59,416 --> 00:03:01,418
to bathe in champagne?

82
00:03:05,130 --> 00:03:07,466
(APPROACHING SCREAM)

83
00:03:07,549 --> 00:03:09,217
(GRUNTS)

84
00:03:09,301 --> 00:03:10,385
Father!

85
00:03:10,469 --> 00:03:14,139
I've discovered the shocking secret
Mother has kept from you for 200 years.

86
00:03:14,264 --> 00:03:15,849
No! No!

87
00:03:15,933 --> 00:03:18,644
Brace yourself,
for whenI speak these words,

88
00:03:18,727 --> 00:03:22,606
you may well suffer an attack
of explosive amnesia.

89
00:03:22,689 --> 00:03:26,318
For you see, the horrible secret is...

90
00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:29,238
(ELECTRICAL BUZZING)

91
00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:36,995
Whoever's directing this
is a master of suspense.

92
00:03:37,079 --> 00:03:39,039
(BUZZING CONTINUES)

93
00:03:42,626 --> 00:03:43,627
(CLONKING)

94
00:03:43,710 --> 00:03:45,045
He's busteds.

95
00:03:45,128 --> 00:03:47,047
Let's get hims out of heres.

96
00:03:51,260 --> 00:03:53,845
ANNOUNCER: We now join
America's most popular show

97
00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:55,472
already in progress...

98
00:03:55,555 --> 00:03:58,308
Everybody Loves Hypnotoad.

99
00:03:58,392 --> 00:04:02,980
(SUSTAINED ELECTRICAL BUZZING)

100
00:04:03,063 --> 00:04:05,816
This show's been going downhill
since Season 3.

101
00:04:12,406 --> 00:04:14,199
Look who's here, everyone.

102
00:04:14,283 --> 00:04:16,743
It's Zoidberg, the lovable tramp.

103
00:04:18,245 --> 00:04:20,747
Since when are you performing
at children's parties?

104
00:04:20,831 --> 00:04:22,499
Performing? What?

105
00:04:22,583 --> 00:04:25,919
Please, if someone
could spare me money to buy shoes?

106
00:04:27,337 --> 00:04:28,338
This party pukes.

107
00:04:28,422 --> 00:04:31,800
Yeah, the guests were supposed to be here
three hours ago.

108
00:04:31,883 --> 00:04:34,344
Well, that doesn't mean
that no one is coming

109
00:04:34,428 --> 00:04:36,388
or that you two are total losers.

110
00:04:36,471 --> 00:04:37,889
Who gave you that idea?

111
00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:38,974
(DOORBELL RINGS)

112
00:04:39,057 --> 00:04:41,476
All right.
They must have all come as a group.

113
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,061
Welcome, swingers.

114
00:04:43,145 --> 00:04:46,148
Pull up a groove and get fabulous.

115
00:04:46,231 --> 00:04:47,691
(CHUCKLES)

116
00:04:48,442 --> 00:04:49,443
Uh?

117
00:04:49,651 --> 00:04:50,944
- (CLOMPING)
- Huh?

118
00:04:51,028 --> 00:04:52,362
Good day, fellows.

119
00:04:52,446 --> 00:04:54,740
Someone dumped this invitation
in my begging cup.

120
00:04:55,115 --> 00:04:57,367
Happy growth-scraping day to all!

121
00:04:57,451 --> 00:04:59,536
(BOTH SIGH)

122
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:00,704
Fire them all.

123
00:05:00,787 --> 00:05:02,122
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

124
00:05:04,082 --> 00:05:05,292
(PANTING)

125
00:05:05,375 --> 00:05:06,919
Guys, guys!

126
00:05:07,044 --> 00:05:09,171
Something's happening on television again.

127
00:05:09,421 --> 00:05:11,632
(GRUNTING)

128
00:05:12,841 --> 00:05:13,884
Ooh!

129
00:05:14,927 --> 00:05:17,721
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)

130
00:05:17,804 --> 00:05:21,099
Welcome to Entertainment
and Earth Invasion Tonite.

131
00:05:21,183 --> 00:05:22,351
Across the galaxy,

132
00:05:22,434 --> 00:05:25,562
my people are completing
the mighty space fleet

133
00:05:25,646 --> 00:05:27,940
that will exterminate the human race.

134
00:05:28,023 --> 00:05:30,692
But first, this news from Tinseltown.

135
00:05:30,776 --> 00:05:34,071
Following Antonio Calculon, Jr.'s
breakdown on the set,

136
00:05:34,154 --> 00:05:36,365
the popular TV show All My Circuits

137
00:05:36,448 --> 00:05:40,244
will hold an open casting call
for child robots to replace him.

138
00:05:40,327 --> 00:05:42,871
An open casting call for child robots?

139
00:05:42,955 --> 00:05:44,915
Tinny Tim, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

140
00:05:44,998 --> 00:05:46,041
What's that, sir?

141
00:05:46,124 --> 00:05:48,835
That I, Bender, am perfect for the role.

142
00:05:48,919 --> 00:05:52,047
You raised my hopes and
dashed them quite expertly, sir.

143
00:05:52,130 --> 00:05:53,257
Bravo!

144
00:05:55,926 --> 00:05:58,804
- (ALL MURMURING)
- (ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)

145
00:06:01,390 --> 00:06:04,851
Bender, your swarthy Latin charm
will only get you so far.

146
00:06:05,018 --> 00:06:07,604
There's a lot of famous
child acting units here.

147
00:06:07,688 --> 00:06:09,773
Look! There's Macaulay Cul-Con.

148
00:06:11,024 --> 00:06:14,111
He's just not cute
since he got puberty installed.

149
00:06:14,194 --> 00:06:16,280
Psst! There's that robot child actor

150
00:06:16,363 --> 00:06:18,198
who grew up and robbed
the convenience store.

151
00:06:18,282 --> 00:06:19,992
LEELA: And there's that robot child actor

152
00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:22,661
who grew up and became
a convenience store.

153
00:06:23,412 --> 00:06:24,621
Lottery ticket, please.

154
00:06:24,788 --> 00:06:26,415
(RATTLING)

155
00:06:28,041 --> 00:06:30,043
We're ready for the first audition.

156
00:06:30,377 --> 00:06:32,170
Emotitron, Jr.

157
00:06:32,588 --> 00:06:33,755
Hold on, precious.

158
00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:35,507
Let's make you look nice for the lady.

159
00:06:36,592 --> 00:06:38,594
What's this? What did I tell you?

160
00:06:38,677 --> 00:06:41,847
No more hanging wires!

161
00:06:41,930 --> 00:06:43,098
In this scene,

162
00:06:43,181 --> 00:06:45,142
you've just found out your real father

163
00:06:45,225 --> 00:06:49,688
is Calculon's fourth
evil identical septuplet, Sleazy Martinez.

164
00:06:50,147 --> 00:06:52,691
Okay, take us there.

165
00:06:52,774 --> 00:06:56,486
"Now that I know the truth,
Father, I must ride south

166
00:06:56,570 --> 00:06:59,573
"and join the robo-bandidos
at Veracruz..."

167
00:06:59,656 --> 00:07:02,534
BENDER: (MUFFLED) Boo! Boo!
This kid sucks!

168
00:07:02,618 --> 00:07:03,619
We want Bender!

169
00:07:03,702 --> 00:07:04,745
Boo!

170
00:07:04,828 --> 00:07:06,705
Well, I thought he was good

171
00:07:06,788 --> 00:07:08,957
but the audience seems
to have turned on him.

172
00:07:09,041 --> 00:07:10,792
- But I don't think...
- Next!

173
00:07:12,586 --> 00:07:14,338
"...at Veracruz.

174
00:07:14,421 --> 00:07:17,049
"So, if you'll kindly
hand me my poncho..."

175
00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:19,051
BENDER: (MUFFLED) Boo! Bring on Bender!

176
00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:21,053
Boo! Bender's the greatest!

177
00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:23,597
Sorry, kid. You're flailing up there.

178
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:26,391
Oh!

179
00:07:27,225 --> 00:07:30,771
Ninety actors and they all got booed.

180
00:07:30,854 --> 00:07:34,107
I just wish we could get this "Bender"
I keep hearing about.

181
00:07:34,232 --> 00:07:35,734
They say he's the greatest.

182
00:07:35,817 --> 00:07:38,320
Well, there is a robot named Bender here

183
00:07:38,403 --> 00:07:39,738
but he's much too old...

184
00:07:39,821 --> 00:07:41,156
Send him in forthwith!

185
00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,283
Boo! Not as good as Bender!

186
00:07:43,367 --> 00:07:44,409
Boo!

187
00:07:44,493 --> 00:07:46,703
- Mr. Bender?
- (STARTLED GASP)

188
00:07:47,079 --> 00:07:48,622
Have you ever been on TV before?

189
00:07:48,705 --> 00:07:50,540
Once, when I took those hostages.

190
00:07:50,624 --> 00:07:52,042
I saw that. You were good.

191
00:07:52,125 --> 00:07:53,377
Let's hear you audition.

192
00:07:56,004 --> 00:07:57,130
Bandidos, eh?

193
00:07:57,214 --> 00:07:58,465
Ah, this is great,

194
00:07:58,548 --> 00:08:01,885
'cause I happen to have
a flawless Spanish accent.

195
00:08:02,094 --> 00:08:03,220
(CLEARS THROAT)

196
00:08:03,470 --> 00:08:06,431
"I will say a-dee-os, Pad-ray.

197
00:08:06,556 --> 00:08:09,893
"Come, Jesus, my faithful chi-hew-a-hew-a.

198
00:08:10,143 --> 00:08:13,522
"Tonight, we eat gyoo-a-ca-mole

199
00:08:13,605 --> 00:08:14,982
"by the el rio."

200
00:08:15,232 --> 00:08:18,235
That was so terrible,
I think you gave me cancer.

201
00:08:18,318 --> 00:08:20,320
I don't care how popular you are,

202
00:08:20,404 --> 00:08:22,864
you will never work on my show!

203
00:08:22,948 --> 00:08:24,241
FRY: Yay, Bender!

204
00:08:24,324 --> 00:08:25,867
LEELA: We demand Bender!

205
00:08:25,951 --> 00:08:27,452
However, you've got the job.

206
00:08:27,536 --> 00:08:29,830
Welcome aboard, "son."

207
00:08:29,913 --> 00:08:31,331
Fathero!

208
00:08:31,415 --> 00:08:32,541
(CLONK)

209
00:08:43,051 --> 00:08:46,138
Bender, I'd like you to meet our director
whose name I never learned.

210
00:08:46,221 --> 00:08:47,264
Yo.

211
00:08:47,347 --> 00:08:48,849
I read the script and I think

212
00:08:48,932 --> 00:08:51,560
it would help my character's motivation
if he was on fire.

213
00:08:51,643 --> 00:08:53,353
Uh, don't worry about the script, baby.

214
00:08:53,437 --> 00:08:55,897
We rewrote your part to better
suit your acting abilities.

215
00:08:55,981 --> 00:08:59,610
So, now my character has a British accent?

216
00:08:59,693 --> 00:09:01,403
No, now your character's in a coma.

217
00:09:01,486 --> 00:09:02,779
Get in bed and don't move.

218
00:09:03,572 --> 00:09:06,491
(GRUMBLING)

219
00:09:06,575 --> 00:09:08,035
And, action!

220
00:09:08,118 --> 00:09:09,786
(MUTTERING) Stupid, dumb coma.

221
00:09:09,870 --> 00:09:11,079
Could have been British.

222
00:09:11,288 --> 00:09:13,749
Alas, that mine only son

223
00:09:13,832 --> 00:09:17,461
should sink into an
irreversible, permanent...

224
00:09:17,544 --> 00:09:19,338
(WHISPERS) ...coma.

225
00:09:19,421 --> 00:09:22,466
Permanent? That's completely
out of character for Antonio.

226
00:09:22,549 --> 00:09:23,592
I'm getting up.

227
00:09:23,675 --> 00:09:26,428
Curse the tragic wildebeest
accident that...

228
00:09:26,511 --> 00:09:27,638
Hey, everyone!

229
00:09:27,721 --> 00:09:30,432
Antonio here, but you can call me Bender.

230
00:09:30,515 --> 00:09:33,018
I got ants in my butt
and I needs to strut.

231
00:09:33,101 --> 00:09:35,312
Come on, baby, do, ah, do.

232
00:09:35,395 --> 00:09:36,480
(PUFFING)

233
00:09:36,563 --> 00:09:39,358
(SCATTING) Dee, dah, doda, booba
Dah, boo, come on

234
00:09:39,441 --> 00:09:41,151
Do, dee, bee, bah, boo...

235
00:09:41,234 --> 00:09:45,113
I'm not familiar with
the type of thing I'm seeing.

236
00:09:45,197 --> 00:09:47,115
Bite my shiny metal ass.

237
00:09:47,199 --> 00:09:48,825
Ooh, yeah, come on, baby, yeah

238
00:09:48,909 --> 00:09:50,744
Ooh, uh, come on, yeah...

239
00:09:50,827 --> 00:09:51,912
Cut!

240
00:09:51,995 --> 00:09:54,081
That's the worst coma acting
I've ever seen!

241
00:09:54,164 --> 00:09:55,457
We'll have to shoot it again.

242
00:09:55,540 --> 00:09:58,335
No. No, no, no, I don't do two takes.

243
00:09:58,418 --> 00:09:59,419
But this guy was...

244
00:09:59,503 --> 00:10:02,172
Amateurs like you do two takes.

245
00:10:02,256 --> 00:10:03,882
I do one take.

246
00:10:03,966 --> 00:10:06,468
Print it.
I'll be in my three-story trailer.

247
00:10:08,428 --> 00:10:10,138
Bite my shiny metal ass.

248
00:10:10,222 --> 00:10:11,932
Ooh, yeah, come on, baby, yeah

249
00:10:12,015 --> 00:10:13,684
Ooh, uh, come on, yeah...

250
00:10:13,767 --> 00:10:15,644
Now that's hospital dancing.

251
00:10:15,727 --> 00:10:17,229
Pretty good, eh, Calcy?

252
00:10:17,312 --> 00:10:18,355
Good?

253
00:10:18,438 --> 00:10:21,483
I've seen better acting from
extras in Godzilla movies.

254
00:10:22,526 --> 00:10:24,403
I don't even remember shooting this scene.

255
00:10:24,486 --> 00:10:25,487
We didn't.

256
00:10:25,571 --> 00:10:27,990
That's security camera footage
from your dressing room.

257
00:10:28,073 --> 00:10:30,033
He stole the scene and my money?

258
00:10:30,117 --> 00:10:31,159
That's it!

259
00:10:31,243 --> 00:10:33,453
I demand you fire this felonious ham!

260
00:10:33,537 --> 00:10:35,497
(ALARM SOUNDING)

261
00:10:36,081 --> 00:10:38,000
The network execubots are coming!

262
00:10:38,083 --> 00:10:39,418
Oh, dear God!

263
00:10:44,881 --> 00:10:47,175
Presenting the president of the network.

264
00:10:52,014 --> 00:10:53,348
(MODEM DIALING)

265
00:10:53,432 --> 00:10:54,641
Greetings, gentlemen.

266
00:10:54,725 --> 00:10:56,435
You already know my execubots.

267
00:10:56,518 --> 00:10:59,354
Executive Alpha, programmed
to like things it has seen before.

268
00:10:59,438 --> 00:11:00,564
Hey, hey, hey.

269
00:11:00,647 --> 00:11:04,776
Executive Beta, programmed to roll dice
to determine the fall schedule.

270
00:11:05,902 --> 00:11:07,362
More reality shows.

271
00:11:07,446 --> 00:11:09,031
And Executive Gamma,

272
00:11:09,114 --> 00:11:11,158
programmed to underestimate
middle America.

273
00:11:11,241 --> 00:11:14,411
It's funny, but is it going to
get them off their tractors?

274
00:11:14,494 --> 00:11:18,081
Now, who put this obnoxious
dancing robot on my network?

275
00:11:18,165 --> 00:11:19,708
We were about to fire him, sir.

276
00:11:19,791 --> 00:11:21,209
Silence, hack!

277
00:11:21,293 --> 00:11:23,837
We've been monitoring our
Nielsen families carefully,

278
00:11:23,921 --> 00:11:26,715
and during the 12 seconds Bender
was onscreen,

279
00:11:26,798 --> 00:11:29,968
viewer eyeball focus was up 90%.

280
00:11:30,802 --> 00:11:31,887
(DOG PANTING)

281
00:11:31,970 --> 00:11:34,640
But, sir, children watch this show.

282
00:11:34,723 --> 00:11:37,351
Bender's no role model.
He's a filth monger.

283
00:11:37,434 --> 00:11:39,561
At our network, we love filth.

284
00:11:39,645 --> 00:11:41,521
Filthy rich, that is.

285
00:11:41,605 --> 00:11:43,607
Being filthy rich, that is.

286
00:11:43,690 --> 00:11:45,901
(LAUGHING)

287
00:11:45,984 --> 00:11:48,362
(ELECTRICAL BUZZING)

288
00:11:48,445 --> 00:11:51,281
(ALL LAUGHING)

289
00:11:51,365 --> 00:11:54,493
"Bite my shiny metal ass"
could be a catchphrase.

290
00:11:54,576 --> 00:11:55,744
80% likely.

291
00:11:55,827 --> 00:11:57,412
It will play in Peoria.

292
00:11:57,996 --> 00:11:59,456
Game shows are back.

293
00:11:59,539 --> 00:12:03,210
We need this edgy, sweeps-ready
robot on our network.

294
00:12:03,293 --> 00:12:07,256
Bender, can you continue to drink, smoke
and steal things on TV?

295
00:12:07,839 --> 00:12:09,341
Yes, I can.

296
00:12:09,675 --> 00:12:10,801
(PUNK MUSIC PLAYING)

297
00:12:10,884 --> 00:12:12,636
We're gonna have a TV party tonight

298
00:12:12,719 --> 00:12:14,054
All right

299
00:12:14,137 --> 00:12:17,933
We're gonna have a TV party, all right!

300
00:12:18,684 --> 00:12:20,018
All right!

301
00:12:20,102 --> 00:12:23,313
We've got nothing better to do

302
00:12:24,982 --> 00:12:28,568
Than watch TV and have a couple of brews

303
00:12:29,194 --> 00:12:31,029
Gonna shoot things.

304
00:12:31,113 --> 00:12:33,949
All our friends are gonna
hang out here tonight

305
00:12:34,032 --> 00:12:35,951
All right!

306
00:12:36,034 --> 00:12:38,954
We'll pass out on the couch, all right!

307
00:12:39,037 --> 00:12:40,872
(LAUGHING)

308
00:12:41,873 --> 00:12:44,376
Yo, check out what I jacked from my dad.

309
00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:45,460
A cigar?

310
00:12:45,544 --> 00:12:46,712
Ripping.

311
00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:51,174
(IN DEEP VOICE) Look, I'm Bender.

312
00:12:51,258 --> 00:12:52,509
(GAGS)

313
00:12:52,593 --> 00:12:54,344
(RETCHING)

314
00:12:54,428 --> 00:12:55,429
(GRUNTS)

315
00:12:56,221 --> 00:12:59,099
Ras H. Tafari, what's going on here?

316
00:13:00,142 --> 00:13:02,603
The ruffians smoked one of your cigars.

317
00:13:02,686 --> 00:13:03,979
That's not a cigar!

318
00:13:04,062 --> 00:13:05,897
Uh, and it's not mine.

319
00:13:06,565 --> 00:13:09,318
Hey, Dad, bite my shiny metal ass!

320
00:13:09,401 --> 00:13:13,155
What? Such an act would be
most uncomfortable for both of us.

321
00:13:13,238 --> 00:13:15,616
Where did you learn such language?

322
00:13:15,741 --> 00:13:17,701
From Bender, my good jerkwad.

323
00:13:17,784 --> 00:13:18,869
Bender, eh?

324
00:13:18,952 --> 00:13:22,039
That guy's really
starting to twist my dreads.

325
00:13:24,291 --> 00:13:25,292
Okay, okay, okay.

326
00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:26,376
Get ready for this part.

327
00:13:26,460 --> 00:13:28,629
Quiet, robot. Bender's on TV.

328
00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:30,839
Oh, Calculon,

329
00:13:30,923 --> 00:13:32,966
it's so good to get away from the city

330
00:13:33,050 --> 00:13:35,302
and that beastly yet intriguing Bender.

331
00:13:35,385 --> 00:13:36,386
(GASPS)

332
00:13:36,470 --> 00:13:39,181
(GULPING)

333
00:13:39,264 --> 00:13:40,265
Whoo!

334
00:13:40,349 --> 00:13:42,100
And try this, kids at home.

335
00:13:44,353 --> 00:13:46,229
Is television sensation Bender

336
00:13:46,313 --> 00:13:48,941
a bad role model for Earth's children?

337
00:13:49,024 --> 00:13:50,859
(GASPS) That's crazy.

338
00:13:50,943 --> 00:13:54,196
A new protest group,
Father's Against Rude Television,

339
00:13:54,279 --> 00:13:55,781
says, "Hell, yes."

340
00:13:55,864 --> 00:13:59,159
(SCOFFS) What kind of bozos
would start a Bender protest group?

341
00:13:59,243 --> 00:14:01,203
Good news, everyone.

342
00:14:01,286 --> 00:14:04,665
Hermes and I have started
a Bender protest group.

343
00:14:04,748 --> 00:14:06,041
That was uncanny.

344
00:14:06,124 --> 00:14:07,918
Fathers Against Rude Television

345
00:14:08,001 --> 00:14:11,255
don't want our kids watching
Bender's high-definition filth.

346
00:14:11,338 --> 00:14:12,589
And for what?

347
00:14:12,673 --> 00:14:14,258
Some kind of cheap laugh?

348
00:14:14,341 --> 00:14:17,427
That's not what F.A.R.T. is all about.

349
00:14:17,511 --> 00:14:19,721
No, sir. Not us FARTers.

350
00:14:19,805 --> 00:14:21,932
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't censor me

351
00:14:22,015 --> 00:14:24,393
just 'cause
I'm an obscenely bad role model.

352
00:14:24,476 --> 00:14:27,437
As unclean as it makes me feel,
I agree with Bender.

353
00:14:27,521 --> 00:14:29,940
Kids don't turn rotten
just from watching TV.

354
00:14:30,065 --> 00:14:33,026
Yeah, give a little credit
to our public schools.

355
00:14:37,155 --> 00:14:38,532
(CUBERT GROANS)

356
00:14:38,615 --> 00:14:42,077
Our dads are all pumped up
on dorkosterone.

357
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,538
We're just trying to be cool, like Bender.

358
00:14:44,621 --> 00:14:46,665
Yeah, and it's not even working.

359
00:14:46,748 --> 00:14:48,542
Smoking and drinking make us barf.

360
00:14:48,625 --> 00:14:52,421
Gentle jerkwads, I know how to
emulate Bender without barfing.

361
00:14:52,546 --> 00:14:54,089
We could commit a burglary.

362
00:14:54,172 --> 00:14:55,340
Hey, yeah!

363
00:14:55,424 --> 00:14:56,758
Bender loves to burgle.

364
00:14:56,842 --> 00:14:58,635
Hold up, though. Who could we rob?

365
00:14:58,719 --> 00:15:00,637
We don't even know anyone with cool stuff.

366
00:15:00,721 --> 00:15:05,475
Duh! We know someone who runs on
pure cool fuel... Bender.

367
00:15:05,559 --> 00:15:07,811
- Whoa!
- We'll rob Bender.

368
00:15:07,894 --> 00:15:08,895
(LAUGHING)

369
00:15:08,979 --> 00:15:11,148
TV gave us the idea.

370
00:15:11,398 --> 00:15:13,400
BENDER: You're watching Futurama,

371
00:15:13,483 --> 00:15:17,446
the show that does not advocate
the cool crime of robbery.

372
00:15:25,579 --> 00:15:29,166
Okay, it's crime time.

373
00:15:39,509 --> 00:15:40,761
Hey, Bender.

374
00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:43,472
Hey, Bender.

375
00:15:44,806 --> 00:15:46,141
Hey, Bender.

376
00:15:46,224 --> 00:15:47,225
(DWIGHT GRUNTING)

377
00:15:47,309 --> 00:15:48,560
(PHONE RINGING)

378
00:15:48,644 --> 00:15:49,895
Hey, Bender.

379
00:15:49,978 --> 00:15:51,396
Bust it

380
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,065
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

381
00:15:53,148 --> 00:15:54,983
(LIVELY CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)

382
00:16:00,447 --> 00:16:01,990
(LAUGHTER)

383
00:16:03,659 --> 00:16:05,118
(RETCHING)

384
00:16:06,411 --> 00:16:08,330
Okay, smarty, go to a party

385
00:16:08,413 --> 00:16:10,374
Girls are scantily clad and showin' body

386
00:16:10,457 --> 00:16:11,458
A chick walks by...

387
00:16:11,541 --> 00:16:13,168
- (GASPS)
- (RECORD SCRATCHING)

388
00:16:13,252 --> 00:16:14,628
What's going on in here?

389
00:16:16,380 --> 00:16:19,216
Oh, now I'm really outraged.

390
00:16:19,299 --> 00:16:21,218
Where did you requisition this party?

391
00:16:21,301 --> 00:16:23,262
And Zoidberg, what are you doing here?

392
00:16:23,345 --> 00:16:24,721
I'm networking.

393
00:16:24,805 --> 00:16:26,223
Let me give you my card.

394
00:16:26,932 --> 00:16:29,977
Relax, Dad, we just invited
a few friends over.

395
00:16:30,102 --> 00:16:31,103
Hmm...

396
00:16:31,186 --> 00:16:35,691
There's something wrong with your story
but I can't put my finger on it.

397
00:16:35,774 --> 00:16:38,777
(GASPING) Of course!
You don't have any friends!

398
00:16:38,860 --> 00:16:42,656
Yeah, why do these popular kids
consider you cool all of a sudden?

399
00:16:42,739 --> 00:16:44,575
Um, we're just cool is all.

400
00:16:44,658 --> 00:16:45,951
Balderdash!

401
00:16:46,034 --> 00:16:49,830
I'll be the judge of who's cool,
using the Coolometer.

402
00:16:49,913 --> 00:16:51,707
(BEEPING)

403
00:16:52,874 --> 00:16:54,418
(BEEPING STOPS)

404
00:16:55,836 --> 00:16:57,796
(BEEPING)

405
00:17:00,757 --> 00:17:02,843
(BEEPING RAPIDLY)

406
00:17:02,926 --> 00:17:04,177
COOLOMETER: Oh, yeah.

407
00:17:04,261 --> 00:17:08,682
Good Lord, I'm getting a reading
of over 40 megafonzies.

408
00:17:08,765 --> 00:17:09,766
Everybody out!

409
00:17:09,850 --> 00:17:10,976
(KIDS GROANING, GRUMBLING)

410
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:15,897
So, do you guys know about
anything else going on?

411
00:17:15,981 --> 00:17:18,567
Because I'm totally still ready to party.

412
00:17:20,235 --> 00:17:23,238
There's enough cool stuff here
to furnish a happening pad.

413
00:17:23,322 --> 00:17:24,781
Where did it all come from?

414
00:17:24,865 --> 00:17:25,991
Don't tell, comrades.

415
00:17:26,074 --> 00:17:27,951
All for one and one for all!

416
00:17:29,077 --> 00:17:30,829
(CRYING) We stole it!

417
00:17:30,913 --> 00:17:31,997
Oh, crumb.

418
00:17:34,249 --> 00:17:35,709
(YAWNING)

419
00:17:35,792 --> 00:17:37,377
What? What's going on?

420
00:17:37,461 --> 00:17:38,712
I'll tell you what.

421
00:17:38,795 --> 00:17:40,839
Our boys have taken up stealing!

422
00:17:40,923 --> 00:17:43,425
One of the worst and coolest of crimes.

423
00:17:43,508 --> 00:17:46,637
And all from watching you on TV,
you cool jerk.

424
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,180
Hey, lay off me.

425
00:17:48,263 --> 00:17:51,433
TV would stink if everyone on it
was a positive role model.

426
00:17:51,725 --> 00:17:54,061
Bender is about entertainment, baby.

427
00:17:54,144 --> 00:17:56,939
You can't hold me responsible
for what kids do when...

428
00:17:57,022 --> 00:17:59,149
Hey, this is my stuff they stole!

429
00:17:59,232 --> 00:18:00,776
That's the last straw!

430
00:18:00,859 --> 00:18:03,487
Bender should not be
allowed on television!

431
00:18:03,570 --> 00:18:05,030
(ANGRY SHOUTING)

432
00:18:05,113 --> 00:18:07,324
BENDER: Bender must be stopped.

433
00:18:07,407 --> 00:18:08,742
I've gone too far.

434
00:18:08,825 --> 00:18:10,577
Who does that guy think I am?

435
00:18:10,661 --> 00:18:12,537
(SHOUTING AGREEMENT)

436
00:18:12,621 --> 00:18:15,916
Come on, we're going to march
all the way to Hollywood

437
00:18:15,999 --> 00:18:19,753
and make them stop forcing
their filthy me down our throats.

438
00:18:20,087 --> 00:18:22,547
(SHOUTING CONTINUES)

439
00:18:39,398 --> 00:18:42,901
ALL: (CHANTING) Down with Bender!
Down with Bender!

440
00:18:42,985 --> 00:18:44,778
Down with Bender!

441
00:18:44,861 --> 00:18:46,321
Down with Bender!

442
00:18:46,405 --> 00:18:47,406
This mob's with me.

443
00:18:47,489 --> 00:18:48,490
Go ahead.

444
00:18:49,533 --> 00:18:52,828
Down with Bender! Down with Bender!

445
00:18:52,911 --> 00:18:54,746
Down with Bender!

446
00:18:54,830 --> 00:18:56,331
Down with...

447
00:18:58,041 --> 00:18:59,042
(ALARM SOUNDS)

448
00:18:59,126 --> 00:19:00,127
...Bender!

449
00:19:00,210 --> 00:19:01,545
Down with Bender!

450
00:19:01,628 --> 00:19:05,591
As a doctor and captain
of this hospital ship,

451
00:19:05,674 --> 00:19:08,135
I now pronounce you man and wife

452
00:19:08,218 --> 00:19:09,469
with six months to live.

453
00:19:11,471 --> 00:19:13,181
Listen up, Hollywood.

454
00:19:13,265 --> 00:19:15,100
We're an exciting new mob.

455
00:19:15,183 --> 00:19:17,060
- (ALL AGREEING)
- HERMES: You better believe it.

456
00:19:17,144 --> 00:19:18,395
Great Shatner's ghost!

457
00:19:18,478 --> 00:19:22,065
We demand that all TV
be equipped with a B-chip

458
00:19:22,149 --> 00:19:24,776
that blocks Bender
from appearing on the screen.

459
00:19:24,860 --> 00:19:25,902
- FARNSWORTH: Boo-yah!
- (ALL AGREEING)

460
00:19:28,196 --> 00:19:31,909
I'm afraid the answer
is a gritty, in-your-face no.

461
00:19:31,992 --> 00:19:33,118
Then I quit.

462
00:19:33,201 --> 00:19:34,494
Then you don't quit.

463
00:19:37,873 --> 00:19:40,584
I think you'll be finishing
the scene now, Mr. Bender,

464
00:19:40,667 --> 00:19:42,586
and don't skimp on the nasty.

465
00:19:42,669 --> 00:19:44,796
There'll be no further nasty.

466
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:48,050
We still have the option
of resorting to violence.

467
00:19:48,467 --> 00:19:49,843
What makes you think that will work?

468
00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:54,306
I saw it on TV in that episode
where Bender shot Calculon.

469
00:19:54,514 --> 00:19:55,724
How cool was that.

470
00:19:55,807 --> 00:19:57,142
(SINGING) Ooh, yeah, come on...

471
00:19:57,225 --> 00:19:58,352
(SPUTTERING)

472
00:19:58,435 --> 00:19:59,436
Quit the show.

473
00:19:59,561 --> 00:20:00,854
Do the scene.

474
00:20:00,938 --> 00:20:03,148
I'm a cold-blooded punk.

475
00:20:03,231 --> 00:20:06,610
I once put a laugh track
on a sitcom that had no jokes in it.

476
00:20:06,693 --> 00:20:08,612
Hey, look, the prop guy has a lamp.

477
00:20:08,695 --> 00:20:09,988
Wha...

478
00:20:10,322 --> 00:20:11,490
A-ha!

479
00:20:11,573 --> 00:20:13,242
I was using that.

480
00:20:13,325 --> 00:20:16,036
Listen up,
'cause I've got a climatic speech.

481
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:18,455
You, cameraman, keep the camera rolling.

482
00:20:18,538 --> 00:20:20,749
You, director, give me my motivation.

483
00:20:20,832 --> 00:20:21,833
You're angry.

484
00:20:21,917 --> 00:20:23,001
Perfect.

485
00:20:23,085 --> 00:20:24,711
Viewers of the world,

486
00:20:24,795 --> 00:20:28,131
do smoking and drinking on TV
really make me cool?

487
00:20:28,465 --> 00:20:29,925
Of course they do.

488
00:20:30,592 --> 00:20:32,511
How about committing crimes and violence?

489
00:20:32,719 --> 00:20:34,513
Again, the answer is yes.

490
00:20:35,055 --> 00:20:36,974
But do we really want our kids exposed

491
00:20:37,057 --> 00:20:39,017
to that kind of trash on TV?

492
00:20:39,101 --> 00:20:41,395
I say absolutely not.

493
00:20:41,478 --> 00:20:42,479
Ooh!

494
00:20:42,771 --> 00:20:44,273
(CLEARS THROAT)

495
00:20:44,773 --> 00:20:49,069
Uh, on the other hand, most,
perhaps all the blame

496
00:20:49,152 --> 00:20:50,612
rests with the parents.

497
00:20:50,696 --> 00:20:51,863
That's right, you.

498
00:20:51,947 --> 00:20:53,740
(ALL GASPING)

499
00:20:53,824 --> 00:20:57,327
And so I ask you this one question...

500
00:20:57,411 --> 00:21:01,456
Have you ever tried simply
turning off the TV,

501
00:21:01,540 --> 00:21:03,667
sitting down with your children

502
00:21:03,750 --> 00:21:05,043
and hitting them?

503
00:21:05,377 --> 00:21:07,004
We're just so busy.

504
00:21:07,087 --> 00:21:08,380
Well, make time.

505
00:21:08,463 --> 00:21:09,798
And, cut.

506
00:21:10,591 --> 00:21:11,675
Good enough.

507
00:21:11,758 --> 00:21:15,178
Splice in some reaction shots of me
and shove it on the air.

508
00:21:17,931 --> 00:21:21,393
Have you ever tried
simply turning off the TV

509
00:21:21,476 --> 00:21:24,896
sitting down with your children
and hitting them?

510
00:21:26,523 --> 00:21:29,234
Well, I'd say we all
learned a valuable lesson

511
00:21:29,318 --> 00:21:30,694
about TV there.

512
00:21:30,777 --> 00:21:31,862
What was it?

513
00:21:31,945 --> 00:21:35,949
Uh, that we should all take TV
a little less seriously.

514
00:21:36,325 --> 00:21:39,244
And more importantly,
turn it off once in a while.

515
00:21:39,328 --> 00:21:41,204
- Hear! Hear!
- Darn right.

516
00:21:41,288 --> 00:21:43,206
So, should we turn it off now?

517
00:21:43,290 --> 00:21:46,460
Well, uh, that depends what's on.

518
00:21:46,543 --> 00:21:47,669
(TV CHANNELS FLICKERING)

519
00:21:47,753 --> 00:21:48,921
Nothing good.

520
00:21:49,004 --> 00:21:51,048
Eh, let's just keep watching.

521
00:21:56,803 --> 00:21:57,971
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

522
00:21:58,055 --> 00:21:59,222
BENDER: TV party tonight

523
00:21:59,306 --> 00:22:00,307
FARNSWORTH: Wha...

524
00:22:00,432 --> 00:22:02,684
BENDER: TV party tonight

525
00:22:02,768 --> 00:22:05,687
LEELA: We've got nothing better to do

526
00:22:05,771 --> 00:22:09,441
Than watch TV and have a couple of brews

527
00:22:09,524 --> 00:22:12,319
DR. ZOIDBERG: Don't want to talk
about anything else

528
00:22:12,402 --> 00:22:14,279
FRY: We don't want to know

529
00:22:14,696 --> 00:22:17,282
FARNSWORTH: We're dedicated, yes

530
00:22:17,366 --> 00:22:19,785
HERMES: To our favorite shows

531
00:22:19,868 --> 00:22:21,119
CUBERT: All My Circuits

532
00:22:21,203 --> 00:22:23,080
DWIGHT: Everybody Loves Hypnotoad

533
00:22:23,163 --> 00:22:24,373
TINNY TIM: Scary Door

534
00:22:24,456 --> 00:22:25,874
LEELA: Thursday Night Blernsball

535
00:22:25,958 --> 00:22:27,292
BENDER: Futurama