1
00:00:02,219 --> 00:00:03,302
Tonight at 11:00...

2
00:00:03,387 --> 00:00:05,847
(SHOUTING)
Doom!

3
00:00:26,869 --> 00:00:29,203
Boy, that thing's big.

4
00:00:29,288 --> 00:00:31,622
Fry, is my colossal eye
too big?

5
00:00:31,874 --> 00:00:34,250
No, it's what
makes you you.

6
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:37,587
But it's so round,
so hideously round.

7
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,088
Leela, listen.

8
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:42,091
You're the most
beautiful woman
I've ever known.

9
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:44,594
Oh. So you only care
about my looks?

10
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,179
No, I... What?

11
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:49,682
Finally, New New York
got a blast of class today

12
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:53,519
as Nikolai, playboy ruler
of the Robo-Hungarian Empire,

13
00:00:53,604 --> 00:00:56,898
arrived aboard
his extravagant
caviar-powered yacht.

14
00:00:56,982 --> 00:00:59,025
I am just
a humble emperor

15
00:00:59,234 --> 00:01:01,277
with a big,
big crown!

16
00:01:01,779 --> 00:01:04,238
Of course
I'm not planning to
steal that crown!

17
00:01:04,323 --> 00:01:05,656
What?
True.

18
00:01:05,741 --> 00:01:07,825
I've always dreamed
of being an emperor.

19
00:01:07,910 --> 00:01:10,244
You know, for Halloween,
and then forever.

20
00:01:10,329 --> 00:01:12,872
But heisting those jewels
would be difficult.

21
00:01:12,956 --> 00:01:14,457
You'd be stupid to try.

22
00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:15,833
I'll need accomplices.

23
00:01:15,918 --> 00:01:18,419
A sexy vamp to distract
and tie up the guard.

24
00:01:18,504 --> 00:01:19,670
Never!

25
00:01:20,339 --> 00:01:22,757
A claw man to slip past
the metal detector

26
00:01:22,841 --> 00:01:24,300
and cut the alarm wires.

27
00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:27,470
Sorry,
I'm set for life
after that last job.

28
00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:33,017
And finally, a chump,

29
00:01:33,101 --> 00:01:35,228
to be caught on video
and later arrested.

30
00:01:35,479 --> 00:01:37,355
As I told you on
Sucker-Punch Day,

31
00:01:37,439 --> 00:01:38,731
I'm through being a chump.

32
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:42,568
Of course,
it would all require
split-second robotic timing.

33
00:01:42,653 --> 00:01:46,113
That's where I come in.
You see, I own a watch.

34
00:01:48,951 --> 00:01:52,995
There. This time I'm sure
I've fixed the mind switcher.

35
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,374
Good, I'm sick of
cleaning up those heaps
of dead monkeys.

36
00:01:56,458 --> 00:01:58,626
But why would
you want your mind
in a new body?

37
00:01:58,836 --> 00:02:02,004
Well, as a man
enters his 18th decade,

38
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:04,841
he thinks back
on the mistakes
he's made in life.

39
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:06,676
Like the heaps
of dead monkeys?

40
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:09,679
Science cannot move forward
without heaps!

41
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:13,891
No, what I regret
is the youth I wasted
playing it safe.

42
00:02:14,226 --> 00:02:16,769
I wasted my
youth porking out.

43
00:02:16,979 --> 00:02:18,437
Yes, I remember.

44
00:02:19,815 --> 00:02:21,190
Would you please
take that down?

45
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,525
It's making me hungry.

46
00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:26,279
Funny, I could use
a little extra meat
on my bones.

47
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:27,864
Wait a second!

48
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:31,868
If we switched bodies,
I could live life
to the extreme,

49
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:34,453
and you could indulge
your demonic food lust.

50
00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:38,833
(GASPS) We're just the people
this mind switcher was
made for by us!

51
00:02:41,545 --> 00:02:43,671
Wait, can I still
change my mind?

52
00:02:43,755 --> 00:02:44,964
Let's find out.

53
00:02:51,763 --> 00:02:54,390
(IN AMY'S VOICE)
It didn't work, you
doddering old... (GASPS)

54
00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:56,893
(IN FARNSWORTH'S VOICE)
Ah! Cartilage!

55
00:02:56,977 --> 00:03:00,021
Dude, I bid you
a fond cowabunga.

56
00:03:00,105 --> 00:03:02,690
I'm off to laugh
at the Reaper.

57
00:03:06,028 --> 00:03:07,153
(WHOOPING)

58
00:03:08,363 --> 00:03:10,698
Look out, world,
here I... (GROANS)

59
00:03:15,245 --> 00:03:18,414
I'm sorry, Amy,
but your body's
not up to the task.

60
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:22,418
Also,
I don't care for these boobs
flapping every which way.

61
00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:24,045
Now, quit your
bologna-gargling

62
00:03:24,129 --> 00:03:26,714
and let's switch back
into our original bodies.

63
00:03:27,215 --> 00:03:30,885
Body-switching, eh?
Mayhap the heist is back on.

64
00:03:30,969 --> 00:03:33,679
Who needs accomplices,
if I can just
use their bodies?

65
00:03:34,890 --> 00:03:36,474
(DEVICE BEEPING)

66
00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:41,479
Professor,
what's not happening?

67
00:03:41,647 --> 00:03:43,397
Bad news, me.

68
00:03:43,482 --> 00:03:46,984
I failed to take into account
the cerebral immune response.

69
00:03:47,069 --> 00:03:48,235
You idiot!

70
00:03:48,570 --> 00:03:50,988
Once two bodies
have switched minds,

71
00:03:51,073 --> 00:03:53,199
they can never
switch back.

72
00:03:55,118 --> 00:03:56,869
However,
perhaps they can.

73
00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:59,830
Maybe we can swap back
using a third body

74
00:03:59,915 --> 00:04:01,832
for temporary storage space.

75
00:04:02,084 --> 00:04:04,293
I'm 60% storage space.

76
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,380
You are?
I... Mmm?

77
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:12,051
(IN BENDER'S VOICE)
Well, I'm off to
the royal yacht

78
00:04:12,135 --> 00:04:13,719
for a quick
seduce-and-snatch.

79
00:04:13,845 --> 00:04:15,805
See you!
(IN FARNSWORTH'S VOICE)
Now, then, Amy

80
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,432
we'll simply switch bodies,
and then we'll...

81
00:04:18,517 --> 00:04:19,517
We'll...

82
00:04:19,601 --> 00:04:21,769
No, I'd be back
in my body,

83
00:04:21,853 --> 00:04:23,771
but then you and Bender
would be switched.

84
00:04:23,855 --> 00:04:28,150
And the Amy and Bender bodies
can't trade minds again,
since they just did.

85
00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:29,652
Oh, no!

86
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:31,278
Is it possible to
get everyone back

87
00:04:31,363 --> 00:04:33,489
to normal using
four or more bodies?

88
00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:34,699
I'm not sure.

89
00:04:34,783 --> 00:04:36,742
I'm afraid we need to use

90
00:04:37,369 --> 00:04:38,411
math.

91
00:04:45,377 --> 00:04:46,919
Stupid air-needing lungs.

92
00:04:48,463 --> 00:04:50,506
(GASPS) The crown jewels.

93
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:53,467
Now I just have
to locate the guard
and seduce him in...

94
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:55,219
Four seconds?

95
00:04:55,345 --> 00:04:56,470
GUARD: Who goes there?

96
00:04:56,555 --> 00:04:58,472
Three, two, one.

97
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:00,683
(IN FEMALE VOICE)
Hello, big boy.

98
00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:02,309
(IMITATING EROTIC MUSIC)

99
00:05:03,186 --> 00:05:05,021
Silence!
I am Basil,

100
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,481
the Emperor's cousin
and chief of his royal guard.

101
00:05:07,566 --> 00:05:09,442
And I shall not
be seduced by a...

102
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:11,694
I said...

103
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,446
(IMITATING EROTIC MUSIC)

104
00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:17,700
(GROANING)

105
00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:19,410
(MUTTERING)

106
00:05:19,494 --> 00:05:21,120
Professor?
What's the matter?

107
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:24,582
I'm Amy.
The Professor and I
switched bodies.

108
00:05:24,708 --> 00:05:25,708
Oh, lord.

109
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:28,544
All I wanted was to
gorge myself a little,

110
00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:31,213
but I can't digest anything
with these false teeth

111
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:33,090
and this hit-or-miss colon.

112
00:05:33,175 --> 00:05:35,593
At least you get
a senior discount
at the movies.

113
00:05:35,677 --> 00:05:39,889
I hate paying $14
to see Nicolas Cage
solve things.

114
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:43,100
If you want to save $2,
we could switch bodies.

115
00:05:43,518 --> 00:05:46,270
Hmm. We can always
switch back, right?

116
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:48,314
(GIGGLES INNOCENTLY)

117
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,152
Hey, Leela.

118
00:05:53,236 --> 00:05:55,279
Mmm.
What smells saturated?

119
00:05:55,363 --> 00:05:58,991
Deep-fried ice cream sandwich
wrapped in frosting
and lightly baconed.

120
00:05:59,201 --> 00:06:01,994
Whoa. That sounds
like something Amy
would say and eat.

121
00:06:02,287 --> 00:06:05,790
I am Amy. Leela and I
used the Professor's
mind-switching machine.

122
00:06:06,083 --> 00:06:08,375
So Leela's
in your body?

123
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,044
(IN LEELA'S VOICE)
Not exactly.

124
00:06:10,212 --> 00:06:11,212
(EXCLAIMS IN FEAR)

125
00:06:11,421 --> 00:06:14,215
Aha! You do only
like me for my body!

126
00:06:14,633 --> 00:06:16,967
That is entirely
not true, sir!

127
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:18,803
(MUFFLED GROANS)

128
00:06:19,721 --> 00:06:23,474
Now to go switch
bodies with Zoidberg,
sneak past the metal detector

129
00:06:23,558 --> 00:06:25,893
and clip the alarm wires,
all in less than...

130
00:06:26,478 --> 00:06:28,896
Ten minutes ago? Oh!

131
00:06:29,272 --> 00:06:30,314
(BEEPING)

132
00:06:30,398 --> 00:06:31,816
(ALARM SOUNDING)

133
00:06:35,487 --> 00:06:38,447
Uh, could you come back
when my chump gets here?

134
00:06:42,661 --> 00:06:46,163
Now, then,
what is a filthy human doing
aboard my royal yacht?

135
00:06:46,248 --> 00:06:49,542
With all due respect,
Your Majesty,
I'm a robot like you.

136
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,752
I just switched bodies
with some bimbo.

137
00:06:51,837 --> 00:06:54,421
Go ahead, ask me something
only a robot would know.

138
00:06:54,506 --> 00:06:57,049
A reverse Turing Test, eh?
Very good.

139
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:58,634
What is the square root
of nine?

140
00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:01,220
Uh, hold on, let me
just get out a pencil.

141
00:07:01,847 --> 00:07:06,058
(SIGHS) Okay, look,
I'm not that kind of robot.
I'm more this kind of robot.

142
00:07:06,184 --> 00:07:07,810
(BEAT BOXING)

143
00:07:08,145 --> 00:07:11,063
He steps forwards
but moves backwards.

144
00:07:11,148 --> 00:07:13,399
By the gods!
He is a machine!

145
00:07:15,152 --> 00:07:17,903
No, that won't
restore everyone, either.

146
00:07:17,988 --> 00:07:21,574
Besides, I don't want
my decrepit old body back!

147
00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:26,245
I'm running away with
this invincible robot body
and joining something.

148
00:07:30,792 --> 00:07:34,753
Look,
I paid for 15 robot clowns
per cubic meter of car,

149
00:07:34,838 --> 00:07:38,799
and you're
barely giving me 12.
Now, crumple up and get in...

150
00:07:38,884 --> 00:07:40,342
And fasten your seatbelts.

151
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:42,052
(ALL GROANING)
Come on!

152
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,263
Good day.

153
00:07:44,347 --> 00:07:47,683
I am Nonchalanto,
the robot daredevil.

154
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:52,730
And my dream is to
risk my life in strange
and original ways.

155
00:07:52,856 --> 00:07:55,357
Hmm. You don't look
so foolhardy to me.

156
00:08:05,827 --> 00:08:07,036
(APPLAUSE)

157
00:08:07,579 --> 00:08:10,080
That's the dumbest thing
anybody's ever done.

158
00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:11,707
You're hired!

159
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,922
So you're a common
bending robot,

160
00:08:18,006 --> 00:08:19,673
with a human
peasant roommate?

161
00:08:19,758 --> 00:08:22,384
Oh, crap,
that is what I am!

162
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,428
No, Bender, I envy you.

163
00:08:24,512 --> 00:08:26,805
I'm so bored
with all these
pretentious trappings.

164
00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:29,558
The jewels, the parties,
the beautiful robo-women.

165
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:30,809
Hello.

166
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,689
(SCOFFS) My fiancée,
Princess Flavia.

167
00:08:35,941 --> 00:08:39,693
Dearest, meet Bender.
He's a robot in the body of
a Chinese Martian physicist.

168
00:08:39,945 --> 00:08:41,820
How tedious.

169
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:45,366
Oh, to escape this
gilded cage for a day.

170
00:08:45,450 --> 00:08:48,410
You know,
we could trade bodies.

171
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:50,537
I could take over
the humdrum royal stuff,

172
00:08:50,622 --> 00:08:52,331
and you could be
a regular Joe for a day.

173
00:08:53,208 --> 00:08:55,459
Or more. Much more.

174
00:08:55,543 --> 00:08:59,546
In that horrid
non-robot body?
Sir, I have my standards.

175
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:03,801
Ah, but what if I could
put you in my fabulous
bending-robot body?

176
00:09:04,094 --> 00:09:07,680
(GIGGLES) Me, posing
as a lowly bending unit?

177
00:09:07,931 --> 00:09:09,098
How wicked!

178
00:09:09,557 --> 00:09:12,851
But wait, I'm supposed
to give a speech
at the U. N. Tomorrow.

179
00:09:12,936 --> 00:09:14,270
Can I trust you to do it?

180
00:09:14,396 --> 00:09:15,729
You can trust anything.

181
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,027
So now Leela's
all crotchety

182
00:09:22,112 --> 00:09:25,072
because she thinks
I'm not attracted to her
in the Professor's body.

183
00:09:25,282 --> 00:09:27,199
You aren't, are you?
Of course not!

184
00:09:27,284 --> 00:09:30,411
But I was willing
to lie about it.
What more can a man do?

185
00:09:30,495 --> 00:09:32,830
A man can give her a toke
of her own medicine.

186
00:09:33,081 --> 00:09:35,958
Yes! I could put my mind
into a hideous body

187
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:38,252
and show Leela she's
not attracted to me.

188
00:09:38,628 --> 00:09:42,548
But it would have to be
a really, really
disgusting body.

189
00:09:42,882 --> 00:09:46,719
Friends! Friends!
I've got barnacles
on my tuchus.

190
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,388
The long search is over.

191
00:09:50,015 --> 00:09:53,100
Wait here and earn interest
while I find my robot body.

192
00:09:56,604 --> 00:09:57,604
Professor?

193
00:09:57,689 --> 00:09:58,981
Leela. Amy?

194
00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:00,816
Bender.
Have you seen my body?

195
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:02,067
I think
the Professor's in it.

196
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:04,778
Yeah, he said something
about running away.

197
00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:06,113
Then he ran away.

198
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:07,323
What? Whither?

199
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:20,294
What am I gonna do?

200
00:10:20,378 --> 00:10:22,838
I got an emperor
all patsied up to
switch bodies,

201
00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,173
but only with
another robot!

202
00:10:24,507 --> 00:10:25,883
Washbucket full.

203
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,718
Scruffy's work here
is done.

204
00:10:35,310 --> 00:10:36,852
(CHUCKLING)

205
00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:39,021
(CACKLING)

206
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,648
(IN BENDER'S VOICE)
Now to find Emperor
Von Richendoof.

207
00:10:41,733 --> 00:10:43,275
Now to find Scruffy.

208
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,988
Switch bodies?
I don't see why not.

209
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:50,449
I also don't see why.

210
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:52,910
(CHUCKLING)

211
00:10:52,994 --> 00:10:54,578
(IN FRY'S VOICE)
In your face, Leela.

212
00:10:54,913 --> 00:10:58,874
If you're a bender,
why is your body
full of fetid water?

213
00:10:58,958 --> 00:11:00,918
If you're an emperor,
why don't you shut up?

214
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,378
Move it, Fry!

215
00:11:05,131 --> 00:11:06,882
Well, so long.
Wait!

216
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,550
Point me to my
normal human roommate!

217
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:10,177
That's him there.
Maybe.

218
00:11:10,345 --> 00:11:11,595
Got to go!

219
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,056
(IN DR. ZOIDBERG'S VOICE)
Robot?

220
00:11:14,182 --> 00:11:16,642
Yes, 'tis I, Bender.

221
00:11:16,726 --> 00:11:18,936
Do you not recognize
your own best friend?

222
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:21,980
Aha! The guy in this body
has a friend!

223
00:11:22,357 --> 00:11:25,984
Bender, old pal!
It's me, the Fry!

224
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:31,824
But then Nicolas Cage
discovered the real
treasure was his family.

225
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:33,659
Yes, I'll hold.

226
00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:36,912
Hey, Leela, look!
I'm in Zoidberg!

227
00:11:37,956 --> 00:11:38,956
Fry?

228
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,207
You're not so shallow

229
00:11:40,291 --> 00:11:43,168
that you find me repulsive
because of my body, are you?

230
00:11:44,796 --> 00:11:45,879
(CHOKES)

231
00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:47,506
Not at all.

232
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,095
Amy? Stop it!

233
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:56,348
Fry, help!
She's turning me
into a parade float.

234
00:11:56,641 --> 00:11:58,100
Ew! Look at her!

235
00:11:58,184 --> 00:11:59,184
(GROWLS)

236
00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:03,313
Oh. So you're so shallow
that my body disgusts you

237
00:12:03,398 --> 00:12:05,149
if it puts on
a little extra weight?

238
00:12:05,233 --> 00:12:07,067
That wasn't
a little extra weight.

239
00:12:07,152 --> 00:12:09,945
Admit it!
You don't care about
the inner me at all!

240
00:12:10,029 --> 00:12:11,321
No, you admit it!

241
00:12:11,406 --> 00:12:13,031
You'd be ashamed
to be seen in public

242
00:12:13,116 --> 00:12:14,700
with someone as
hideous as me!

243
00:12:14,784 --> 00:12:16,577
Would not!
Oh, yeah?

244
00:12:16,661 --> 00:12:20,289
Then I challenge you
to a romantic dinner
at Elzar's tonight.

245
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:21,790
It's on.

246
00:12:26,254 --> 00:12:27,254
(DOOR OPENS)

247
00:12:27,505 --> 00:12:29,131
Sweet orca of Majorca!

248
00:12:29,215 --> 00:12:31,383
You make Fat Albert look
like Normal Albert!

249
00:12:31,634 --> 00:12:32,968
I don't know what to do.

250
00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:34,803
Do you think I
should eat more butter?

251
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,847
I am putting a stop
to this right now!

252
00:12:36,931 --> 00:12:38,807
Come on.
We're switching bodies.

253
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:42,186
Hermes, no!
I'll ruin your body, too!

254
00:12:43,146 --> 00:12:45,814
Three decades of the munchies
beat you to it.

255
00:13:03,791 --> 00:13:05,834
BIG BERTHA: You make
quite a show, young man.

256
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,587
You remind me of myself
as a young cannon.

257
00:13:08,671 --> 00:13:11,256
Big Bertha is
the circus's grande dame.

258
00:13:11,341 --> 00:13:13,342
She shoots robots
through the air.

259
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:14,676
(BELCHES)

260
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:17,221
Excuse me.
Too much goulash.

261
00:13:17,305 --> 00:13:19,932
I've always wanted
to be shot out of something.

262
00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:22,351
How about a quick
blast after lunch?

263
00:13:22,519 --> 00:13:26,730
Alas, a fine big one like you
would shatter my barrel.

264
00:13:26,814 --> 00:13:30,192
But, ah, to amaze
the crowd once more.

265
00:13:30,568 --> 00:13:33,362
I understand
the problems of age,

266
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,739
but suppose I could
put you in a new body?

267
00:13:35,823 --> 00:13:39,701
Never! My body may be old,
but it is mine,

268
00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:43,622
and every crack
a memory of heavy things
shot a long way.

269
00:13:43,706 --> 00:13:45,207
Good day!

270
00:13:50,171 --> 00:13:51,213
(JEWELS CLATTERING)

271
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:52,339
(SIGHS)

272
00:13:52,423 --> 00:13:56,552
I have
everything I ever wanted.
Money, wealth, riches.

273
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,512
Yet something's missing.

274
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,806
A hot princess with
whom to get grizzly.

275
00:14:00,890 --> 00:14:03,934
Hello.
Hello, baby!

276
00:14:04,894 --> 00:14:07,062
Huh? Hey,
what's going on here?

277
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:10,023
And why are you kissing
my dashing cousin
instead of me?

278
00:14:10,108 --> 00:14:12,234
Nikolai,
you imperial fool.

279
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:14,820
We've been having
an affair for 700 years.

280
00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:18,156
At long last,
I shall kill you,
blame the burglar

281
00:14:18,241 --> 00:14:20,075
and inherit the throne.

282
00:14:27,625 --> 00:14:29,251
Farewell, Nikolai.

283
00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:30,919
Wait! I'm not Nikolai!

284
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:33,839
I'm Bender,
the fabulous
body-switching burglar.

285
00:14:36,759 --> 00:14:39,845
So you are.
However, you do
have Nikolai's body,

286
00:14:39,929 --> 00:14:41,388
and that's the part
we want to kill.

287
00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:43,348
(MOTOR RUNNING)

288
00:14:55,820 --> 00:14:56,903
Great food, huh?

289
00:14:57,238 --> 00:14:58,280
(BURPS)

290
00:14:58,364 --> 00:14:59,489
(ALL GROANING)
Ew!

291
00:14:59,616 --> 00:15:01,116
I'm sorry, Leela.

292
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,910
I hope that didn't make you
ashamed to be seen with me.

293
00:15:04,162 --> 00:15:06,872
No, it only makes
you more attractive.

294
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,625
(PEOPLE GASPING)
Ew!

295
00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:14,379
Oh! Did my bodily
infirmity embarrass you?

296
00:15:14,464 --> 00:15:15,464
Not at all.

297
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:18,717
It's just another thing
that makes you
a very special lady.

298
00:15:18,843 --> 00:15:20,052
You mean, like my penis?

299
00:15:22,347 --> 00:15:25,390
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
Admit it!
You're disgusted by me!

300
00:15:25,475 --> 00:15:27,934
No,
you're disgusted by me!

301
00:15:28,019 --> 00:15:30,187
I'm as attracted to
you as I've ever been!

302
00:15:30,271 --> 00:15:31,355
Prove it!

303
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:34,483
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

304
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:43,408
Well, Bender,
here's our apartment
that we live in every day.

305
00:15:44,994 --> 00:15:47,913
A floor?
We live like kings!

306
00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:49,456
Kings? Silence!

307
00:15:49,791 --> 00:15:51,458
Like you, I'm a common lout.

308
00:15:51,668 --> 00:15:53,335
Now fetch me some
working-class cognac

309
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:55,879
from our brandy storeroom
that you know how to find.

310
00:15:55,963 --> 00:15:56,963
Uh...

311
00:16:03,304 --> 00:16:04,346
(SCREAMS)

312
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:05,681
Relax, Bender.

313
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:08,266
I'll dry up that leak
with this heating box.

314
00:16:09,394 --> 00:16:10,852
(GAS LEAKING)

315
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,856
Ah, cigars.
Light me up, old friend.

316
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:21,780
(PANTING)

317
00:16:27,495 --> 00:16:29,162
There you are,
Emperor Nikolai.

318
00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:30,997
It's time for your
speech to the U. N.

319
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:32,541
What now?

320
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:35,293
(SCREAMS)

321
00:16:38,339 --> 00:16:39,339
Miss Wong?

322
00:16:39,424 --> 00:16:41,758
No, Scruffy,
I am Washbucket.

323
00:16:41,843 --> 00:16:45,262
I love you.
Washbucket has
always loved you.

324
00:16:48,391 --> 00:16:49,641
This is wrong, Washbucket.

325
00:16:50,059 --> 00:16:52,310
Oh, it would be
sweet for a while,

326
00:16:52,395 --> 00:16:55,105
but in the back of our minds,
we'd know that I'm a man

327
00:16:55,189 --> 00:16:56,648
and you're
janitorial equipment.

328
00:16:56,941 --> 00:17:00,277
In another city,
we could be anyone we want!

329
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,487
Go. Go now,

330
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,114
before I beg you to stay.

331
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:12,539
(CRYING)

332
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:14,332
Yep.

333
00:17:16,210 --> 00:17:21,339
Please welcome
an insane dictator,
and one heck of a bowler,

334
00:17:21,424 --> 00:17:23,925
Emperor Nikolai!

335
00:17:26,387 --> 00:17:28,180
Thanks, Nixon.
How we doing?

336
00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:30,015
WOMAN: I love you,
Your Majesty!

337
00:17:30,099 --> 00:17:32,184
Shut up, Madame Ambassador!
I know it!

338
00:17:32,477 --> 00:17:33,560
Anyhow,

339
00:17:33,644 --> 00:17:35,020
(CLEARING THROAT)

340
00:17:35,521 --> 00:17:38,440
I'd now like to digress
from my prepared remarks

341
00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:39,775
to say I'm done!

342
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,193
(ALL CHEERING)

343
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:45,113
Ladies and gentlemen,
this robot is an impostor!

344
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,448
(ALL GASPING)

345
00:17:47,492 --> 00:17:48,575
(EXCLAIMS)

346
00:17:50,077 --> 00:17:51,912
I shall enjoy this.

347
00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:53,622
Not me!

348
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:57,667
That devil, Basil,
will kill our emperor.

349
00:17:57,752 --> 00:18:00,045
You're Robo-Hungarian?

350
00:18:00,129 --> 00:18:03,465
Yes. Our nation's
chief export is carnies.

351
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:06,843
If only there were some way
I could get to the U. N.
To help.

352
00:18:06,928 --> 00:18:09,679
There is.
Get in, Nonchalanto.

353
00:18:09,764 --> 00:18:11,807
Bertha, no!
It would kill you!

354
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:14,684
I have not so much
time left anyhow.

355
00:18:14,769 --> 00:18:18,814
But you could get a new body!
You could have a rich,
full life!

356
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:22,317
I am trying to have
a rich, full life!

357
00:18:28,199 --> 00:18:30,158
Long live Robo-Hungary!

358
00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:32,410
(GROANING)

359
00:18:32,954 --> 00:18:34,246
(SCREAMING)

360
00:18:40,378 --> 00:18:42,170
Me!
Thank God you've come!

361
00:18:44,632 --> 00:18:46,967
This is for Big Bertha!

362
00:18:48,678 --> 00:18:51,429
That is not what
I meant to give you
for Big Bertha.

363
00:18:53,683 --> 00:18:55,809
(SIGHS) That was nice.

364
00:18:56,060 --> 00:18:57,227
Oh, yeah.

365
00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:00,105
(BOTH GASP)

366
00:19:04,402 --> 00:19:05,735
Ow! Ow!
(SCREAMS)

367
00:19:05,820 --> 00:19:06,820
(SHATTERS)

368
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,287
(EXCLAIMS)

369
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:18,957
Whoever you are,
you're the bravest robot
I've ever seen.

370
00:19:20,084 --> 00:19:21,668
I like killing brave things.

371
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:25,171
Good!
Because I've got 20
of them per cubic meter.

372
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:32,512
When I grow up,
I want to be a diplomat!

373
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:39,769
Well, if there's one
thing I've learned,
it's a lesson.

374
00:19:39,854 --> 00:19:41,271
I believe this
belongs to you.

375
00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:45,859
I shall sell it to
help the common folk,

376
00:19:45,943 --> 00:19:47,903
now that I understand
their misery.

377
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,154
Yeah, good luck with that.

378
00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:52,574
I must say, Hermes,
you've got
a smoking-hot body.

379
00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:54,534
(IN HERMES'S VOICE)
I was inspired by Amy.

380
00:19:55,244 --> 00:19:57,662
Wow! How'd you do it?
Well,

381
00:19:57,747 --> 00:20:00,749
there I was at Elzar's,
eating a nice pork sundae,

382
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,834
and suddenly,
I just lost my appetite.

383
00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:05,503
Forever.

384
00:20:06,047 --> 00:20:07,672
Q to the E to the D!

385
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:12,427
So it is possible for
us all to get back to
our original bodies?

386
00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:14,262
Stone-cold munching, Prof.

387
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:17,182
Sweet Clyde,
characterize your
inversion theorem.

388
00:20:17,725 --> 00:20:20,560
Basically, no matter
how permuted-up
your minds are,

389
00:20:20,645 --> 00:20:23,730
they can be restored using,
at most, two extra players.

390
00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:28,944
And they say
pure math has no
real-world applications!

391
00:20:35,493 --> 00:20:36,785
(ALL CHEERING)

392
00:20:37,578 --> 00:20:39,245
Everybody back
in their zones?

393
00:20:39,330 --> 00:20:40,705
Yes sir!
Yes!

394
00:20:40,998 --> 00:20:44,542
Ah! My body may be old,
but it is mine.

395
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:46,294
Brilliant work, Clyde!

396
00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:50,048
You'll win the NBA's highest
academic honor for this.

397
00:20:50,132 --> 00:20:51,967
Also,
I'm making you a duke.

398
00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:54,386
So long, filthy commoners!

399
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:55,595
¡Adiós!

400
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:56,888
(CHUCKLES)

401
00:20:56,973 --> 00:20:59,641
And I'm left
with the real jewels
safely inside...

402
00:20:59,976 --> 00:21:02,185
His compartment?
(GROANS)

403
00:21:03,312 --> 00:21:05,730
All right.
I'll need accomplices.

404
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:38,096
ENGLISH - US - PSDH