1 00:00:08,460 --> 00:00:10,410 ♪ Two... two, three... ♪ 2 00:00:10,450 --> 00:00:12,710 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:14,310 --> 00:00:22,240 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com 4 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:26,850 After centuries as a delivery boy, 5 00:00:26,890 --> 00:00:28,650 nothing surprises me. 6 00:00:33,490 --> 00:00:34,950 You stink, loser. 7 00:00:34,990 --> 00:00:36,350 Hey, Fry! 8 00:00:36,390 --> 00:00:38,760 Pizza going out! Come on! 9 00:00:38,790 --> 00:00:42,100 Aw, all right. I'll take the Red Rocket. 10 00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:55,880 Hello! Pizza delivery for... 11 00:00:55,910 --> 00:00:58,550 D. Frosted Wang? 12 00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:00,720 Ugh, not another crank delivery! 13 00:01:00,750 --> 00:01:02,550 Why don't I read these ahead of time? 14 00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:06,390 One time was funny. 15 00:01:06,430 --> 00:01:08,690 But every week for ten years? Not as funny. 16 00:01:08,730 --> 00:01:12,030 True, not as funny. But still somewhat funny. 17 00:01:15,070 --> 00:01:16,770 And-and then they burst out laughing 18 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,000 a second time. 19 00:01:22,710 --> 00:01:25,010 I've been a delivery boy for a thousand years. 20 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,480 Isn't there any room for promotion around here? 21 00:01:27,510 --> 00:01:30,080 There'll be no promotions unless somebody dies. 22 00:01:30,110 --> 00:01:32,550 And even then, only if we can't 23 00:01:32,580 --> 00:01:34,350 bring them back as a zombie, like Scruffy. 24 00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:35,950 Life and death are a seamless continuum. 25 00:01:35,980 --> 00:01:37,520 Mm-hmm. 26 00:01:37,550 --> 00:01:39,890 Well, could I at least get some encouragement? 27 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,620 I could use a shot in the arm. 28 00:01:41,660 --> 00:01:44,090 I get shot in the leg! 29 00:01:46,060 --> 00:01:48,400 Roberto! What are you doing here? 30 00:01:48,430 --> 00:01:50,770 What? A fella can't drop in on old friends 31 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:52,640 and hold them hostage? 32 00:01:52,670 --> 00:01:54,500 I'm good. And you? 33 00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:57,510 Attention, criminal robot in the building! 34 00:01:57,540 --> 00:01:59,110 Come out with your hands up! 35 00:01:59,140 --> 00:02:01,780 - Never! - Uh... other guy. 36 00:02:01,810 --> 00:02:04,650 Listen up, piggies, I want a hovercopter, 37 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,450 and an unmarked sandwich, 38 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:09,720 and a new face with like a, a Hugh Grant look. 39 00:02:09,750 --> 00:02:11,980 And every five minutes I don't get it, 40 00:02:12,020 --> 00:02:14,650 someone's going to get stabbed in the ass! 41 00:02:14,690 --> 00:02:16,560 He's bluffing. Ouch! 42 00:02:16,590 --> 00:02:17,820 He's not bluffing! 43 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:20,960 You call for a chopper? 44 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,360 Nah, I specifically said hovercopter! 45 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:25,870 One chopper, coming up. 46 00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:27,830 Hi-yah! Ah! 47 00:02:28,870 --> 00:02:30,070 All right! Way to go. 48 00:02:35,540 --> 00:02:36,810 You know, URL, 49 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,010 sometimes it's almost too much for me. 50 00:02:39,050 --> 00:02:40,680 You mean the respect we get? 51 00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:43,620 And the high level of job satisfaction? 52 00:02:43,650 --> 00:02:45,350 There's that, but I'm also talking about 53 00:02:45,390 --> 00:02:47,690 the non-stop promotions and the free hot rod. 54 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,390 Mm. I do love a man in uniform. 55 00:02:54,430 --> 00:02:56,490 Ahem! 56 00:02:56,530 --> 00:02:59,060 I mean a uniform that doesn't involve short pants. 57 00:03:00,530 --> 00:03:02,500 I can see I have no future here. 58 00:03:02,540 --> 00:03:05,370 My only option is to resign with dignity. 59 00:03:05,410 --> 00:03:07,010 Here are my shorts. 60 00:03:10,540 --> 00:03:12,880 ♪ ♪ 61 00:03:14,980 --> 00:03:17,620 Hello. I'd like to enroll in Police Academy. 62 00:03:17,650 --> 00:03:19,620 You think you can just waltz in here 63 00:03:19,650 --> 00:03:21,020 with no pants and become a cop? 64 00:03:21,050 --> 00:03:22,650 That's the plan. I like you, kid. 65 00:03:22,690 --> 00:03:24,420 I got no pants on, either. 66 00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:26,660 I can see that. You're quite a bit taller than me. 67 00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:28,990 Welcome to Police Academy. 68 00:03:29,030 --> 00:03:30,460 Hi, I'm Fry. 69 00:03:30,490 --> 00:03:32,460 I'm a Sound Effects 5000. 70 00:03:36,570 --> 00:03:38,570 Weep, wop, beep! 71 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:41,600 Wow. That would be impressive if you were a human. 72 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,710 Yeah. 73 00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:45,010 On your feet for Chief O'Manahan. 74 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,410 At ease, cadets. 75 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:47,810 I'll make this short and sweet, 76 00:03:47,850 --> 00:03:49,580 'cause I'm PMSing like a lumberjack. 77 00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:51,620 Police Academy is not for everybody. 78 00:03:51,650 --> 00:03:53,680 You're gonna get your boob scuffed. 79 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,890 But if you've got the vulva to stick it out, 80 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,690 I'll be proud to call you ladies policemen. 81 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,020 Sir! Yes, ma'am! 82 00:04:07,670 --> 00:04:09,270 Yeah. That's great. 83 00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:11,300 Now, can you actually turn on the ignition? 84 00:04:11,340 --> 00:04:13,600 I don't have any hands. 85 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:34,520 Well, it's that time of the month. 86 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,530 Graduation day. 87 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,860 So grow a pair and put them together for our new officers! 88 00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:43,330 Good job! 89 00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,030 Hooray for the pigs! 90 00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:47,940 Graduates, you are hereby officially cops. 91 00:04:47,970 --> 00:04:50,070 Now move it along, nothing to see here. 92 00:04:54,910 --> 00:04:57,380 Hooray! Free sky sticks! 93 00:04:57,420 --> 00:04:58,580 Oh! 94 00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:00,620 Police brutality! 95 00:05:07,930 --> 00:05:10,340 Nice... All right. 96 00:05:10,370 --> 00:05:12,970 Before we head out, I'll be teaming up our new officers 97 00:05:13,010 --> 00:05:14,810 with their ironically matched partners. 98 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,340 Sound Effects 5000, 99 00:05:16,380 --> 00:05:17,610 you'll be with Cranski. 100 00:05:18,950 --> 00:05:20,780 Ow, my tinnitus! 101 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:24,220 Fry, due to the unfortunate loss of Officer Smith, 102 00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:25,790 you'll be riding with URL. 103 00:05:25,820 --> 00:05:29,260 And Smitty was just a few days from retirement. 104 00:05:29,290 --> 00:05:30,620 Wh-What happened? 105 00:05:30,660 --> 00:05:33,660 He took a early retirement. Damn. 106 00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:38,400 Let's get down to business. 107 00:05:38,430 --> 00:05:41,470 Aren't you going to say, "Good news, everyone"? 108 00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:44,340 Oh, I just said that for Fry's benefit. 109 00:05:44,370 --> 00:05:47,740 Made the poor fellow feel better about his pointless job. 110 00:05:47,770 --> 00:05:49,410 As much as I miss him, 111 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,410 he didn't really serve much purpose around here. 112 00:05:51,450 --> 00:05:52,950 Though he did walk Zoidberg. 113 00:05:55,380 --> 00:05:57,620 In any case, I've improved on Fry 114 00:05:57,650 --> 00:05:59,920 by sticking some wheels on a board, so Leela and Bender 115 00:05:59,950 --> 00:06:03,990 can easily make the next delivery without him. 116 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,730 Me? So where we going? 117 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,760 Pandora. 118 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,600 That dangerous 3D planet? 119 00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:11,360 Can't we just send our avatars? 120 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,300 No, it's cheaper just to have you die. 121 00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:24,350 Whoa. 15 miles over the speed of light. 122 00:06:24,380 --> 00:06:27,820 That's a violation of the law of Lorentz's invariants, baby. 123 00:06:27,850 --> 00:06:29,220 Light 'em up. 124 00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:53,010 Look out for that particular individual! 125 00:06:54,950 --> 00:06:56,750 An electric wall, eh? 126 00:06:56,780 --> 00:06:58,680 I can't see the harm in peeing on that. 127 00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:14,560 Whoa! Where'd my man learn that? 128 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,730 Sunny D commercial. 129 00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,810 Let's refract this sucker. 130 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,760 DNA and career chip, please. 131 00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:47,500 Erwin Schrodinger, huh? 132 00:07:47,530 --> 00:07:49,630 What's in the box, Schrodinger? 133 00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:53,470 Um... a cat, some poison, and a cesium atom. 134 00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,270 is it alive or dead? 135 00:07:55,310 --> 00:07:56,470 Alive or dead? 136 00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:57,970 Answer him, fool. 137 00:07:58,010 --> 00:08:00,640 It's a superposition of both states 138 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,910 until you open it and collapse the wave function. 139 00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:04,650 Says you. 140 00:08:07,950 --> 00:08:10,520 There's also a lot of drugs in there. 141 00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,970 So... you're a robot? 142 00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:33,280 You boys did good. 143 00:08:33,310 --> 00:08:35,550 Nailed a major violator of the laws of physics. 144 00:08:35,580 --> 00:08:37,280 He's going down. 145 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:38,850 Cat's gonna testify. 146 00:08:38,890 --> 00:08:41,420 Guys like this really bust my uterus. 147 00:08:41,450 --> 00:08:42,960 You're both getting a promotion. 148 00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:44,990 Ever heard of the Future Crimes Division? 149 00:08:45,030 --> 00:08:46,630 Tomorrow, I have. 150 00:08:59,010 --> 00:09:00,970 Oops. 151 00:09:01,010 --> 00:09:02,840 I can't make out a thing. 152 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,550 Well, I guess you should have had two eyes. 153 00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:08,310 Just deliver the package, and let's get out of here. 154 00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:10,920 Screw that! I ain't no delivery boy. 155 00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:12,550 I'm the company chef. 156 00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:14,920 Oh, you're the chef, are you? 157 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,520 Then why don't you make us something nice to eat? 158 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:25,630 Here's your damn peanut butter and jelly sandwich! 159 00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:34,480 Now that we can predict crimes with 99% accuracy, 160 00:09:34,510 --> 00:09:35,810 we can arrest most perpetrators 161 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,650 before they even perpetrate anything. 162 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:38,880 That's ridiculous. 163 00:09:38,910 --> 00:09:40,980 Only horoscopes can predict the future. 164 00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:42,550 That's what we used to think. 165 00:09:42,590 --> 00:09:44,920 Until we invented... this. 166 00:09:50,430 --> 00:09:51,830 Ooh. 167 00:09:51,860 --> 00:09:53,400 Slow down, baby. 168 00:09:53,430 --> 00:09:54,970 The Cybernetic Oracle. 169 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,030 The ultimate man-machine hybrid. 170 00:09:57,070 --> 00:09:59,440 Programmed with every crime ever recorded, 171 00:09:59,470 --> 00:10:00,900 and implanted with the brain cells 172 00:10:00,940 --> 00:10:02,710 of history's greatest detectives. 173 00:10:02,740 --> 00:10:04,740 We call him... Pickles. 174 00:10:04,780 --> 00:10:07,280 On account of it's like he's floating in a jar? 175 00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:08,850 Exactly. 176 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,780 The Oracle's visions are recorded on these colored balls. 177 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:14,450 Green is larceny. Black is fraud. 178 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,520 homicide. 179 00:10:16,550 --> 00:10:18,920 What's pink polka-dots? Clown slaughter. 180 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,920 It happens more often than you'd think. 181 00:10:22,730 --> 00:10:24,890 Floater in the bowl! 182 00:10:24,930 --> 00:10:26,890 Red ball. Homicide! 183 00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,360 Whoo! 184 00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:31,700 male, six foot one. 185 00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:33,670 Distinctive mustard stain on his forehead. 186 00:10:35,340 --> 00:10:37,400 My kajigger! 187 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:39,810 Hattie McDoogal. 188 00:10:44,650 --> 00:10:46,350 Look, the clock says 5:08. 189 00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,020 It's 4:30 right now. 190 00:10:48,050 --> 00:10:50,520 Uh-oh, we only have a half hour to chill out 191 00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:51,620 before we head over. 192 00:10:54,990 --> 00:10:56,690 Oh, Hattie. 193 00:10:56,730 --> 00:10:58,890 When I look into your one good eye, 194 00:10:58,930 --> 00:11:01,700 I see a reflection of beauty. 195 00:11:01,730 --> 00:11:02,870 Oh! Fresh. 196 00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:05,570 Freeze, fool. 197 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,270 You're under arrest for future murder! 198 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:10,470 Yeah? You can't arrest me for future murder... 199 00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:12,410 after it's right now murder! 200 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:13,680 My kajigger! 201 00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:22,950 So he didn't really want to marry me? 202 00:11:22,990 --> 00:11:25,420 Nah. See, he knew you left everything 203 00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:27,460 to your parakeets in your will. 204 00:11:27,490 --> 00:11:30,330 He was going to murder you, marry your parakeets, 205 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:33,030 and then poison them with an arsenic-laced cuttlebone. 206 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,730 Classic move. 207 00:11:34,770 --> 00:11:36,570 Aw, yeah. 208 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,300 Congratulations on your big bust. 209 00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:41,740 You, too. 210 00:11:41,770 --> 00:11:43,770 Keep it up, and you boys might just make detective. 211 00:11:43,810 --> 00:11:45,310 Now, if you'll excuse me, 212 00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:46,980 I got to go drop a big one. 213 00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:49,610 Wow. I can't believe it. 214 00:11:49,650 --> 00:11:52,550 One more promotion, and I'll be a real detective, 215 00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:55,790 like Sherlock Holmes or Speed Buggy. 216 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,390 Eight pounds. 217 00:11:58,420 --> 00:11:59,590 I'm naming her Burt. 218 00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:00,990 Mazel tov, Chief. 219 00:12:01,030 --> 00:12:03,430 That's a beautiful bathroom baby. 220 00:12:05,860 --> 00:12:07,860 Hey, you heading home, Phil? 221 00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:09,370 In a minute. 222 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:10,730 I just want to finish this paperless work. 223 00:12:10,770 --> 00:12:12,440 Don't stay up too late. 224 00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:16,010 We got a lot of people to shoot tomorrow. 225 00:12:19,510 --> 00:12:21,780 Hello! Anyone? 226 00:12:21,810 --> 00:12:25,080 There's never a cop around when you need one. 227 00:12:26,420 --> 00:12:28,050 Green ball. Larceny. 228 00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:39,760 Hmm. 229 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,330 The thief seems to be some sort of ghost. 230 00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:44,340 Or is he? 231 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,740 Aah! Bender? 232 00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:58,420 Our corporate tax rate 233 00:12:58,450 --> 00:13:00,850 remained unchanged this fiscal year. 234 00:13:00,890 --> 00:13:02,220 That's not funny. 235 00:13:02,260 --> 00:13:03,460 It's not supposed to be funny. 236 00:13:03,490 --> 00:13:04,860 It's a business meeting. 237 00:13:04,890 --> 00:13:06,990 Things used to be funny around here. 238 00:13:07,030 --> 00:13:09,430 Noses were picked, pants fell down. 239 00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:10,960 So what changed? 240 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,170 Only Fry could say, and he's gone. 241 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,700 Hey. 242 00:13:15,740 --> 00:13:17,000 Bender and Leela are back from Pandora. 243 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,400 How was it? 244 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:19,870 Awful. 245 00:13:19,910 --> 00:13:21,770 We had nothing to say to each other, 246 00:13:21,810 --> 00:13:24,380 so we had to listen to Bender's Eagles album for 27 hours. 247 00:13:24,410 --> 00:13:26,780 Beats talking to you, witchy woman. 248 00:13:26,810 --> 00:13:28,780 Hey, he's back! 249 00:13:28,810 --> 00:13:30,350 Look at you. Hubba hubba. 250 00:13:30,380 --> 00:13:33,080 Your pants go almost all the way to your ankles. 251 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:34,790 Good afternoon, individuals. 252 00:13:34,820 --> 00:13:36,720 Sir, would you mind stepping out of the building? 253 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,490 Normally, when a cop asks me that, 254 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:41,230 I spray whip cream in his eyes and run away, 255 00:13:41,260 --> 00:13:43,760 but to ditch these losers, gladly. 256 00:13:45,370 --> 00:13:46,900 Bender, be honest with me. 257 00:13:46,930 --> 00:13:48,430 Are you planning a big heist? 258 00:13:48,470 --> 00:13:50,300 Usually, but not at the moment. 259 00:13:50,340 --> 00:13:52,240 I only ask 'cause the Oracle thinks 260 00:13:52,270 --> 00:13:55,480 you're going to pull off a major theft next Thursday. 261 00:13:55,510 --> 00:13:56,980 Next Thursday, you say? 262 00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,810 Pray, continue. 263 00:13:58,850 --> 00:14:02,020 Are you familiar with this particular location? 264 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,720 I may have a burgling familiarity with it. 265 00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:07,720 Does the word "Maltese" mean anything to you? 266 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,820 The Maltese Liquor-- the strongest, 267 00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:12,390 the most valuable malt liquor ever brewed! 268 00:14:12,430 --> 00:14:15,100 And soon it will be mine. 269 00:14:16,470 --> 00:14:18,130 I'm sorry. You were saying? 270 00:14:18,170 --> 00:14:19,730 Bender, I'm only telling you this 271 00:14:19,770 --> 00:14:21,470 so you can avoid committing the crime. 272 00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:24,810 "Avoid committing the crime." Got it. 273 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,940 You wrote "commit the crime"! 274 00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:36,050 Oh, there's got to be some way to stop Bender. 275 00:14:36,090 --> 00:14:37,750 Maybe something in the Oracle's predictions 276 00:14:37,790 --> 00:14:40,020 that I missed before due to incompetence. 277 00:14:42,830 --> 00:14:44,790 Wait. Who's the trigger-happy jerk? 278 00:14:48,530 --> 00:14:50,200 That's me! 279 00:14:50,230 --> 00:14:51,770 I recognize the face. 280 00:14:54,870 --> 00:14:56,040 You shot me! 281 00:14:56,070 --> 00:14:58,210 You miserable dingus! 282 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:01,140 No! No! What have I will have done? 283 00:15:01,180 --> 00:15:03,850 Man, that's heavy. Osmium heavy. 284 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,850 Wha...? Are you going to turn me in for concealing evidence? 285 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:08,050 Say what? 286 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,250 You're my partner, home Fry. 287 00:15:09,290 --> 00:15:11,920 Besides, I got my own secrets. 288 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,460 Anything big worth checking out? 289 00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:18,090 Just your big jangly booty, baby. 290 00:15:18,130 --> 00:15:19,360 See you tonight, toots. 291 00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:24,830 You... and the chief? 292 00:15:24,870 --> 00:15:26,830 Mm-hmm. We been gettin' it on. 293 00:15:26,870 --> 00:15:28,870 Right there in your chair. 294 00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:31,840 I'm like, "Oh, baby! Oh, baby!" 295 00:15:31,870 --> 00:15:36,510 And she's like, "Yeah. Yeah. Yeah." 296 00:15:41,450 --> 00:15:43,420 I would never shoot Bender. Never! 297 00:15:43,450 --> 00:15:45,350 He taught me how to shave. 298 00:15:47,460 --> 00:15:49,120 Revision ball. 299 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,120 By deciding not to shoot Bender, 300 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,330 you created an alternate future. 301 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,060 I could never shoot you. Never! 302 00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:57,430 You taught me how to shave. 303 00:15:57,460 --> 00:15:58,860 See? 304 00:15:58,900 --> 00:16:00,400 Just get out of here. 305 00:16:00,430 --> 00:16:02,040 Go! 306 00:16:03,270 --> 00:16:05,910 Now, dig the unintended consequences. 307 00:16:05,940 --> 00:16:08,380 My friends, let us share this booze 308 00:16:08,410 --> 00:16:11,440 in a toast to our dear friend, Bender. 309 00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:22,020 Oops. 310 00:16:22,050 --> 00:16:24,790 The Maltese Liquor done destroyed their brains. 311 00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:26,820 Fools should have known it's fatal 312 00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:29,890 for anyone but robots and Billy Dee Williams. 313 00:16:29,930 --> 00:16:34,070 So, if I don't shoot Bender, all my other friends will die? 314 00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:35,870 Fate is a freaky mistress. 315 00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:37,330 Much like the chief. 316 00:16:37,370 --> 00:16:38,740 Look out! 317 00:16:38,770 --> 00:16:40,040 Something's not right. 318 00:16:40,070 --> 00:16:41,370 I refuse to believe it. 319 00:16:41,410 --> 00:16:43,070 Rewind. 320 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,150 Ooh. 321 00:16:52,190 --> 00:16:55,320 Are you the calloused working man I ordered? 322 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,160 Uh, sure. 323 00:16:57,190 --> 00:16:59,830 In order to fix your leaky roof, 324 00:16:59,860 --> 00:17:01,530 I'll need to spend two or three hours 325 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,090 down here in the wine cellar. 326 00:17:03,130 --> 00:17:06,200 I'll be upstairs putting batteries in things. 327 00:17:08,870 --> 00:17:10,200 Whoa! 328 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,100 The Maltese Liquor. 329 00:17:13,140 --> 00:17:15,070 40 ounces of heaven! 330 00:17:16,940 --> 00:17:18,480 Here, boy. 331 00:17:18,510 --> 00:17:20,280 This is for you. 332 00:17:22,510 --> 00:17:23,980 Ah. 333 00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:25,950 Hmm. 334 00:17:30,990 --> 00:17:34,030 Invisible safe, eh? 335 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:37,430 Aah! 336 00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:42,430 Ah, yeah, baby! 337 00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:44,500 210 proof. 338 00:17:44,540 --> 00:17:46,770 That's all the proof I need. 339 00:17:47,970 --> 00:17:49,110 Put the bottle back. 340 00:17:49,140 --> 00:17:50,740 We both know I won't do that. 341 00:17:50,780 --> 00:17:52,240 Either you're going to shoot me, 342 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,280 or I'm going to spray whip cream in your eyes 343 00:17:54,310 --> 00:17:56,150 and walk out of here like a big shot. 344 00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:58,210 Bender, no! You don't have to do something 345 00:17:58,250 --> 00:17:59,820 just 'cause it's going to happen. 346 00:17:59,850 --> 00:18:02,190 The future's making a chump out of you. 347 00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:05,260 Oh, yeah? Well, I'm going to make a chump out of the future. 348 00:18:05,290 --> 00:18:07,120 I'm not stealing anything! 349 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,890 Yes! I stopped the crime without shooting you. 350 00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:11,430 The Oracle was wrong. 351 00:18:11,460 --> 00:18:13,500 Was I? 352 00:18:14,730 --> 00:18:16,700 Pickles? Yes. 353 00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:18,000 It is I, Pickles. 354 00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:19,700 I set the whole thing up. 355 00:18:19,740 --> 00:18:21,440 Everyone will think Bender's the thief 356 00:18:21,470 --> 00:18:24,410 while I make off with that glorious brew. 357 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,240 Seriously? Why? 358 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:29,010 So I can kill my human brain cells. 359 00:18:29,050 --> 00:18:31,150 Do you have any idea what a burden it is 360 00:18:31,180 --> 00:18:33,480 to know everything that will ever happen? 361 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,220 To never be surprised. 362 00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:39,150 To know the punch line of every joke hours in advance. 363 00:18:39,190 --> 00:18:40,320 Like watching Leno. 364 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,160 And that is why I faked 365 00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:44,130 the prediction of this crime. 366 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,230 Nevertheless-- stay with me here-- 367 00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:50,100 things will now happen just as I fake predicted. 368 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:53,470 Bender, you're going to hand me that bottle. 369 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,140 Not that one! 370 00:18:55,170 --> 00:18:56,910 The real one, which you switched 371 00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:58,840 when Fry stupidly looked away. 372 00:18:58,880 --> 00:18:59,940 Hey. 373 00:18:59,980 --> 00:19:01,150 Ah, man. 374 00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:03,480 Why you got to be so Oracle-y? 375 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,350 Fry, you are going to shoot Bender, 376 00:19:06,380 --> 00:19:08,750 killing him and shattering the fake bottle, 377 00:19:08,790 --> 00:19:10,290 just as I predicted. 378 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:11,720 Do it! 379 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:12,990 It is your destiny! 380 00:19:13,030 --> 00:19:15,230 Funny thing about destiny. 381 00:19:15,260 --> 00:19:17,430 Sometimes fate has other plans. 382 00:19:20,730 --> 00:19:21,930 Oh, nuts. 383 00:19:21,970 --> 00:19:23,140 You shot me! 384 00:19:23,170 --> 00:19:25,210 You miserable dingus! 385 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:28,410 And now the part I didn't show you. 386 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,710 Everyone will think Bender killed you, 387 00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:35,450 and I walk away with the goofy juice! 388 00:19:40,090 --> 00:19:42,860 Finally, blissful ignorance. 389 00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:45,460 I have no idea what's going to happen next. 390 00:19:45,490 --> 00:19:47,500 Did you get that, Chief? Huh? 391 00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:54,730 We got it all from behind this prediction-proof glass. 392 00:19:54,770 --> 00:19:58,200 But how could you know my prediction was fake? 393 00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,410 I knew something was wrong, 394 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,210 but I couldn't put my finger on it. 395 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,210 Then it hit me. 396 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:04,840 You showed Bender 397 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,750 sharing the deadly booze with our friends. 398 00:20:07,780 --> 00:20:09,080 Bender would never share. 399 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:10,420 The very idea! 400 00:20:10,450 --> 00:20:12,950 So we set up this little charade 401 00:20:12,990 --> 00:20:16,020 based on an episode of Speed Buggy. 402 00:20:16,060 --> 00:20:18,360 With the added benefit of me and the chief 403 00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:20,960 being locked in a small room. 404 00:20:23,470 --> 00:20:26,500 Shall we adjourn to the dungeon? 405 00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:32,910 Well, I got my shield for stopping Bender. 406 00:20:35,010 --> 00:20:37,410 But then I got fired for tipping off Bender. 407 00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:42,780 Fry, we have no idea what you do around here, 408 00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:44,920 but we desperately need you back. 409 00:20:44,950 --> 00:20:47,860 Really? Um, I don't suppose there's any chance 410 00:20:47,890 --> 00:20:49,490 I could get a promotion. 411 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:50,890 Sure. What the heck? 412 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:56,480 I hear by promotion, executive delivery boy. 413 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:57,780 Executive? 414 00:20:57,940 --> 00:20:59,470 It's a meaning less title. 415 00:20:59,470 --> 00:21:02,420 But it helps insecure people feel better about themselves. 416 00:21:03,780 --> 00:21:05,870 I feel better about myself!