1 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:19,300 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:37,290 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:46,870 I got one! 4 00:00:46,940 --> 00:00:48,470 Okay, kids. 5 00:00:48,540 --> 00:00:50,310 Put away the dust motes till tomorrow. 6 00:00:50,370 --> 00:00:51,610 It's story time. 7 00:00:51,670 --> 00:00:53,180 - Oh, boy! - Yay! Ooh! 8 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,540 Today's storyteller is a space captain 9 00:00:55,610 --> 00:00:57,850 who grew up right here at the orphanarium. 10 00:00:57,910 --> 00:01:01,650 Welcome back the bed-wetter of Building D, Turanga Leela. 11 00:01:03,020 --> 00:01:05,420 Hi, kids. 12 00:01:05,490 --> 00:01:07,460 What book would you like me to read first? 13 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,590 We don't got books no more. 14 00:01:09,660 --> 00:01:11,790 - What? - He means "anymore." 15 00:01:11,860 --> 00:01:13,560 Look, sometimes you got to choose 16 00:01:13,630 --> 00:01:14,700 between eating and reading, 17 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:16,230 so they ate the books. 18 00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:17,600 Just make something up. 19 00:01:17,670 --> 00:01:18,900 Make something up? 20 00:01:18,970 --> 00:01:21,340 Um, okay... 21 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,040 Once upon a time, 22 00:01:23,110 --> 00:01:25,410 there was a... a... 23 00:01:25,470 --> 00:01:27,010 Princess? 24 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:28,610 Yes! That! 25 00:01:29,950 --> 00:01:32,280 A... one-eyed princess 26 00:01:32,350 --> 00:01:33,880 in a long, flowing... 27 00:01:33,950 --> 00:01:35,480 tank top. 28 00:01:35,550 --> 00:01:37,920 And she lived in a magical one-room... 29 00:01:37,990 --> 00:01:38,920 Castle? 30 00:01:38,990 --> 00:01:39,990 Yeah, if you believe 31 00:01:40,060 --> 00:01:40,990 the listing agent. 32 00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:42,590 Anyhow, one day, 33 00:01:42,660 --> 00:01:44,830 the princess went off to, 34 00:01:44,890 --> 00:01:46,530 uh, tell a story. 35 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,660 And then that's exactly what she did do that. 36 00:01:49,730 --> 00:01:51,470 And they all lived happily ever after. 37 00:01:51,530 --> 00:01:52,670 The end. 38 00:01:52,740 --> 00:01:53,840 Miss Leela? 39 00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:55,140 I have a question. 40 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,870 - Yes, Albert? - That story was bad. 41 00:01:57,940 --> 00:01:59,540 That's not really a question. 42 00:02:03,410 --> 00:02:05,550 I'm not a natural storyteller. 43 00:02:05,620 --> 00:02:07,720 But I promise I'll make up a better story 44 00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:09,320 and come back again. 45 00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,590 Please don't. 46 00:02:10,650 --> 00:02:12,220 See you soon. 47 00:02:15,990 --> 00:02:18,560 I'm sure I've got a great kids' story in me. 48 00:02:18,630 --> 00:02:21,300 I just need to think of three of some kind of animal. 49 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:23,030 Concentrate, Leela, concentrate. 50 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,740 Fry, I'm writing here. 51 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,070 Do you have to play that? 52 00:02:30,140 --> 00:02:32,440 Yes. It's the only song I know. 53 00:02:32,510 --> 00:02:34,610 Look, friends. 54 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,310 I accidentally learned to tap dance. 55 00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:40,750 Zoidberg, I'm trying to... 56 00:02:42,050 --> 00:02:44,990 Time for my 4:21 daiquiri! 57 00:02:48,390 --> 00:02:51,430 Guys, guys, guess who just got commissioned as a tugboat? 58 00:02:53,460 --> 00:02:54,730 Oh, yeah! 59 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,670 Pachinko break! 60 00:02:56,730 --> 00:02:59,530 Tokyo crazy balls! Yes! 61 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,440 Oh, good, Leela. You're here. 62 00:03:03,510 --> 00:03:05,540 I'd like to describe my foot pain. 63 00:03:05,610 --> 00:03:08,610 My left has a sharp jabbing throb near the bunion, 64 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:10,610 while the other's got a searing pain like gout. 65 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,520 Maybe it's too much albumin because of gravity... 66 00:03:13,580 --> 00:03:15,780 Even if I had a pen, 67 00:03:15,850 --> 00:03:17,720 I couldn't write under these conditions. 68 00:03:17,790 --> 00:03:19,520 I'm going to some other planet where I can concentrate. 69 00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:20,860 Searing, searing pain 70 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:23,590 that feels as if it were in a vice. 71 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,500 Well, that was rude. 72 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,770 Warden Vogel. 73 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,670 I have a new story for the children. 74 00:03:36,740 --> 00:03:39,040 I'm sure they'll like it more than my last one. 75 00:03:39,110 --> 00:03:41,340 They liked hunger cramps more than your last one. 76 00:03:41,410 --> 00:03:42,580 Anyhow, you'll have to wait. 77 00:03:42,650 --> 00:03:43,980 The kids are busy right now. 78 00:03:44,050 --> 00:03:46,510 Oh, is the organ-harvesting clown here? 79 00:03:46,580 --> 00:03:48,480 Nah, Rusty comes on Tuesdays now. 80 00:03:48,550 --> 00:03:51,350 Today it's the owner of the Tickleodeon Kids Network. 81 00:03:51,420 --> 00:03:55,490 Okay, kids, get ready to be subjected to our new fall shows. 82 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:57,760 Mr. Funny-Bunny here will gauge your reaction 83 00:03:57,830 --> 00:03:59,290 by bombarding your brains 84 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,630 with harmless snuggle rays. 85 00:04:03,730 --> 00:04:07,970 He gives me a nice, warm feeling in my eyeballs. 86 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,340 ♪ ♪ 87 00:04:12,410 --> 00:04:16,110 ♪ Popular Slut Club. ♪ 88 00:04:18,380 --> 00:04:21,320 Oh, my God. There's Jake Finkelberg! 89 00:04:21,380 --> 00:04:22,750 He's so hot. 90 00:04:22,820 --> 00:04:24,990 I wish he wasn't my brother. 91 00:04:25,050 --> 00:04:28,460 ♪ Popular Slut Club. ♪ 92 00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:35,460 Look! Up on the drive-thru menu! 93 00:04:35,530 --> 00:04:37,070 It's Captain Mega Meat 94 00:04:37,130 --> 00:04:38,900 and his young ward, Bottomless Boy. 95 00:04:40,540 --> 00:04:41,700 Hurry, Captain! 96 00:04:41,770 --> 00:04:43,240 A skinny kid needs our help. 97 00:04:43,310 --> 00:04:45,470 Super-size me! 98 00:04:49,780 --> 00:04:53,620 From the Rowdy Roddy Piper 99 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:55,850 Daycare Center in Glasgow, Scotland, 100 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,990 it's Extreme Toddler Wrestling! 101 00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:01,360 ♪ ♪ 102 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,330 Thanks for the brain scans, kids. 103 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,000 Don't have any children for the next couple of days. 104 00:05:13,070 --> 00:05:15,500 All right, boys and girls, enough fun. 105 00:05:15,570 --> 00:05:18,340 Your old friend Leela is back with a brand-new story. 106 00:05:18,410 --> 00:05:20,540 Hi. It's great to be back. 107 00:05:20,610 --> 00:05:22,440 I think you'll enjoy this one. 108 00:05:22,510 --> 00:05:23,780 Please. 109 00:05:23,850 --> 00:05:26,820 Can't we just get our organs harvested? 110 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,880 It's about some cute little creatures 111 00:05:28,950 --> 00:05:31,250 from a land called Rumbledy-Hump. 112 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:34,420 Kids, let's meet the Humplings! 113 00:05:34,490 --> 00:05:37,390 ♪ ♪ 114 00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:38,890 ♪ My name is Ladybuggle ♪ 115 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,460 ♪ And I huggle all my friends ♪ 116 00:05:41,530 --> 00:05:43,030 ♪ I'm a silly spring named Doingg ♪ 117 00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:44,900 ♪ And my bouncing never ends ♪ 118 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,140 Doingg, doingg, doingg. 119 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,040 ♪ They call me Princess Num-Num ♪ 120 00:05:49,110 --> 00:05:51,440 ♪ I'm as sweet as sticky buns ♪ 121 00:05:51,510 --> 00:05:52,770 ♪ I'm Feffernoose ♪ 122 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,080 Hello. 123 00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:55,980 ♪ I'm scared of everyones. ♪ 124 00:05:56,050 --> 00:05:57,750 Oh, Feffernoose. 125 00:05:57,810 --> 00:05:59,380 What about me? 126 00:05:59,450 --> 00:06:01,680 Hey, it's Garbly. Everyone loves him 127 00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:03,650 'cause they can't understand him. 128 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,690 It's nice to meet you. 129 00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:07,820 ♪ We're here to make you laugh and think ♪ 130 00:06:07,890 --> 00:06:09,590 ♪ And smile and learn and sing ♪ 131 00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:11,760 ♪ And laugh and learn and smile and think ♪ 132 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,730 ♪ And other happy things. ♪ 133 00:06:22,670 --> 00:06:24,710 Say more things like that. 134 00:06:24,770 --> 00:06:25,940 Okeydoke. 135 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:27,680 One sunny, funny day, 136 00:06:27,740 --> 00:06:30,280 there was an unfamiliar visitor in Rumbledy-Hump. 137 00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:33,950 ♪ Today we learned that folks are not ♪ 138 00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:36,350 ♪ As different as they seem ♪ 139 00:06:36,420 --> 00:06:37,920 ♪ The space gorilla's just like us ♪ 140 00:06:37,990 --> 00:06:40,360 ♪ Although I breathe chlorine. ♪ 141 00:06:43,790 --> 00:06:48,460 Wow, I can't believe you 'maginated all that stuff. 142 00:06:48,530 --> 00:06:50,900 Will you come back again and tell us more stories? 143 00:06:50,970 --> 00:06:52,830 And also adopt us all? 144 00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:55,240 Of course I'll tell you more stories. 145 00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:58,510 I'll go think some up right now. 146 00:07:00,810 --> 00:07:01,940 Holy moly! 147 00:07:02,010 --> 00:07:03,480 Lady, you don't know me, 148 00:07:03,550 --> 00:07:04,850 but my name is Abner Doubledeal. 149 00:07:04,910 --> 00:07:06,650 Wait, I know you. 150 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:08,520 You're Abner Doubledeal. 151 00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:11,520 I brain-scanned those little nose-pickers during your story, 152 00:07:11,590 --> 00:07:12,990 and, sister, their enjoyment glands 153 00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:14,660 were squirting like Broadway roadkill! 154 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,460 Aw, they were? 155 00:07:16,530 --> 00:07:18,330 Say, you seem like a smart mark. 156 00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:20,460 How'd you like to make it into a TV show? 157 00:07:20,530 --> 00:07:22,300 Sign here on this, uh... 158 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,400 Supercuts coupon. 159 00:07:24,470 --> 00:07:25,600 I don't know. 160 00:07:25,670 --> 00:07:26,770 Don't I need a degree 161 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,540 to write gibberish for toddlers? 162 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:29,970 Come on, Miss Leela. 163 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,510 Don't be a fraidy cat like Feffernoose. 164 00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:34,580 Okay. I'll do it 165 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,080 to show you kids you can succeed at anything, 166 00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:39,450 if you just luck out hard enough. 167 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:42,380 Welcome to the glamorous, big-money world 168 00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:44,320 of basic cable TV! 169 00:07:44,390 --> 00:07:46,120 I'm going to need that pen back. 170 00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:53,840 Working on a real TV show is so exciting. 171 00:07:53,910 --> 00:07:55,840 I'm on a mostly natural high. 172 00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:58,950 These costumes are gonna make it hard to go to the bathroom. 173 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,680 I'm not having any problem. 174 00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:02,690 We're shooting in five minutes, 175 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:04,590 and this Leela broad hasn't even delivered a script yet! 176 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:06,860 Sweet zombie Jesus, like it's not hard enough 177 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,860 to make a freakin' TV show for under 50 bucks. 178 00:08:11,730 --> 00:08:13,960 Damn it. I'll call you back, Grandma. 179 00:08:14,030 --> 00:08:15,400 Nice of you to show up, toots. 180 00:08:15,470 --> 00:08:16,730 I mean that sincerely. 181 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:17,930 It's just that I'm in show biz. 182 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,700 Sorry, I went to my quiet place to write. 183 00:08:20,770 --> 00:08:22,840 Here's the script. 184 00:08:22,910 --> 00:08:25,440 Ach! You writers make me sick. 185 00:08:25,510 --> 00:08:26,640 Nice job on the script, though. 186 00:08:26,710 --> 00:08:28,840 Places, everyone! 187 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:32,780 Okay. Cheap lights. 188 00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:34,750 Off-brand camera. 189 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,290 And non-union action! 190 00:08:40,660 --> 00:08:41,960 I like ice cream. 191 00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:45,960 And I like lollipops. 192 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,930 And I like you, Princess Num-Num. 193 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,340 Ew. I'm all licky-sticky! 194 00:08:57,540 --> 00:08:59,410 I don't understand. 195 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,340 When I like something, I lick it. 196 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:02,710 Like this raccoon. 197 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,650 Doingg, don't lick things 198 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:09,320 that don't want to be licked. 199 00:09:09,390 --> 00:09:10,690 But how do I know what to lick 200 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:11,890 and what not to lick? 201 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,620 It's very simple. 202 00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:20,130 ♪ If it's alive, don't lick it ♪ 203 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:23,430 ♪ Like a horse, a turtle or a cricket ♪ 204 00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:24,830 I like turtles! 205 00:09:24,900 --> 00:09:26,540 ♪ So if you're not sure ♪ 206 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,700 ♪ If it's alive or dead ♪ 207 00:09:28,770 --> 00:09:33,480 ♪ Poke it with a stick and lick the stick instead. ♪ 208 00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,310 Now I get it! 209 00:09:36,580 --> 00:09:37,710 Ow! 210 00:09:37,780 --> 00:09:39,850 Well, that's all for today. 211 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:41,350 But before we go, 212 00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:43,290 let's do everything we just did 213 00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,950 two more times. 214 00:09:45,020 --> 00:09:46,620 Leela, that was great! 215 00:09:46,690 --> 00:09:48,490 Even I have to admire the performance 216 00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:49,760 of me, Bender. 217 00:09:49,830 --> 00:09:51,490 The show looks so cute. 218 00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:52,690 Kids will love it! 219 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:53,960 And it looks so cruddy, 220 00:09:54,030 --> 00:09:55,660 their ironic hipster parents 221 00:09:55,730 --> 00:09:57,370 will love it. 222 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,470 Thanks, guys, but let's be realistic. 223 00:09:59,540 --> 00:10:02,240 We all know any TV show that's even slightly good 224 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:03,570 gets cancelled. 225 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,270 Sometimes two or three times. 226 00:10:05,340 --> 00:10:06,940 Leela! 227 00:10:07,010 --> 00:10:08,640 Tomorrow's ratings just came in from the future. 228 00:10:08,710 --> 00:10:09,810 We're a hit. 229 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,820 What? My show is a hit? 230 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,720 What are you, deaf? It's gonna be bigger 231 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,120 than SpongeBot SquareBolts. 232 00:10:16,190 --> 00:10:17,720 I interfere with pacemakers. 233 00:10:19,420 --> 00:10:22,020 Baby, I hope you like drowning in caviar, 234 00:10:22,090 --> 00:10:23,860 'cause that is how you're gonna die. 235 00:10:23,930 --> 00:10:25,530 ♪ ♪ 236 00:10:48,990 --> 00:10:50,720 ♪ ♪ 237 00:11:11,710 --> 00:11:15,040 Welcome back to the Young People's Choice Awards! 238 00:11:15,110 --> 00:11:18,710 In a moment, the award for Outstanding Sext Message. 239 00:11:18,780 --> 00:11:22,720 But first, the nominees for Best New Kids' Show are... 240 00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:35,230 I hope you win, Leela. 241 00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:36,770 Thanks, Fry. 242 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:39,400 It's nice to have the support of viewers like you. 243 00:11:39,470 --> 00:11:41,500 - I'm the star of the show. - Shh! 244 00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:45,540 And the Slurmie for Best New Kids' Show goes to... 245 00:11:45,610 --> 00:11:47,410 Turanga Leela 246 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,710 for Rumbledy-Hump. 247 00:11:49,780 --> 00:11:52,510 WOMAN (over P.A. This is Turanga Leela's first nomination 248 00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:55,850 and second time in high heels. 249 00:11:57,790 --> 00:12:00,720 Wow. I feel so lucky just to have been nominated 250 00:12:00,790 --> 00:12:02,420 alongside so many inferior shows. 251 00:12:02,490 --> 00:12:03,860 And to all 252 00:12:03,930 --> 00:12:06,430 my young friends at the orphanarium, 253 00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:09,630 thank you for inspiring me to be your hero. 254 00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:10,870 Slurm her! 255 00:12:18,010 --> 00:12:20,480 So, wait. You play a high school student 256 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:24,350 who's also secretly a rock star who's also secretly a massage chair? 257 00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:28,350 No. I play a high school student who's also secretly a rock star, 258 00:12:28,420 --> 00:12:30,690 but in real life I'm a massage chair. 259 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,260 Oh. You ever made out with a tugboat. 260 00:12:34,990 --> 00:12:37,590 Guys, I didn't have time to mention it up there, 261 00:12:37,660 --> 00:12:39,490 but I want each of you to know 262 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,300 what an honor it is to work with me. 263 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,000 Sweet ego of Montego! 264 00:12:43,070 --> 00:12:45,930 Someone build a wind farm in front of her mouth! 265 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,000 you're the greatest creative mind 266 00:12:48,070 --> 00:12:50,670 since blah, blah, blah-bity blah. 267 00:12:50,740 --> 00:12:53,340 But it's 2:00 a.m. and you still haven't written tomorrow's episode. 268 00:12:53,410 --> 00:12:55,510 Well, you can't expect me to write it here 269 00:12:55,580 --> 00:12:58,710 with everyone talking so loudly about how great I am. 270 00:12:58,780 --> 00:13:00,950 Sorry. I'm taking the ship to my quiet place 271 00:13:01,020 --> 00:13:02,580 so I can be alone. 272 00:13:02,650 --> 00:13:05,190 You noncreatives can catch a bus home. 273 00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:06,820 Noncreative? Ha! 274 00:13:06,890 --> 00:13:09,860 I'll have you know I bedazzle my own underpants. 275 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,040 That was a hell of a massage. 276 00:13:26,110 --> 00:13:27,940 Maybe the best that ever was. 277 00:13:28,010 --> 00:13:29,710 Say, where are we? 278 00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:36,280 Rumbledy-hump? 279 00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:37,720 It's real! 280 00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:40,490 I love eating vegetables, don't you? 281 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:42,890 They're like crunchy, green water. 282 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,690 I don't like 'em! They're icky-yuckie! 283 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:49,000 Now, now, Garbly, if we don't eat our vegetables, 284 00:13:49,070 --> 00:13:51,230 we won't grow big and strong, 285 00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:52,800 like Feffernoose. 286 00:13:52,870 --> 00:13:57,640 I had to be big and strong to fight off the monsters. 287 00:13:57,710 --> 00:14:00,610 Did somebody say monsters?! 288 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,980 This will make a great episode. 289 00:14:04,050 --> 00:14:06,950 But talk slower; I can't type that fast. 290 00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:09,790 Well, well, well. 291 00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:11,990 You didn't make up that TV show. 292 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:14,820 You just wrote down what these space twerps said. 293 00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:15,890 Oh, hell. 294 00:14:17,460 --> 00:14:20,630 Leela said a Rumbledy-Hump no-no! 295 00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:23,570 ♪ Sometimes when we're mad ♪ 296 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:26,300 ♪ We say words that are bad. ♪ 297 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:32,790 ♪ And poo-poo and pee-pee ♪ 298 00:14:32,860 --> 00:14:35,360 ♪ And penis and gay ♪ 299 00:14:35,430 --> 00:14:39,030 ♪Those are the 98 words we don't say. ♪ 300 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,800 My God, you stole all your ideas 301 00:14:44,870 --> 00:14:47,070 from those poor, innocent creatures 302 00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:49,110 and hogged all the credit?! 303 00:14:49,170 --> 00:14:51,110 I underestimated you. 304 00:14:51,180 --> 00:14:52,710 Wait. I can explain. 305 00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:53,910 Nah, don't ruin it. 306 00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,450 I'm loving the hypocrisy. 307 00:14:55,510 --> 00:14:58,080 It's like catching an evangelist in a whorehouse. 308 00:14:58,150 --> 00:15:00,350 That was the best Christmas ever. 309 00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:01,890 You know I hate lying. 310 00:15:01,950 --> 00:15:04,290 But those orphans were so proud of me, 311 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,190 I couldn't bear to let them down. 312 00:15:06,260 --> 00:15:08,460 At least Reverend Pickens had the dignity 313 00:15:08,530 --> 00:15:10,260 to jump out the whorehouse window 314 00:15:10,330 --> 00:15:12,100 with his pants around his ankles. 315 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,700 Who's your friend, Leela? 316 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:17,000 He sure has a shiny metal bumbledy-boop. 317 00:15:17,070 --> 00:15:18,870 Aw, they're so cute and harmless. 318 00:15:18,940 --> 00:15:21,340 No wonder you feel safe ripping off their act. 319 00:15:21,410 --> 00:15:23,740 Bender, I feel bad enough already. 320 00:15:23,810 --> 00:15:25,310 I'm just messin' with you. 321 00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:27,940 I love that you're getting rich off of them. 322 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,780 'Cause now I can get rich off of you. 323 00:15:30,850 --> 00:15:31,780 Oh, Lord. 324 00:15:31,850 --> 00:15:33,180 From now on, you give me 325 00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:35,390 half the gross, or I'll blow your cover. 326 00:15:35,450 --> 00:15:37,890 Oh, fine. You'll get your cut. 327 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,260 I don't really care about the money anyway. 328 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:43,060 I just want to show those poor, disadvantaged orphans 329 00:15:43,130 --> 00:15:45,130 that they can succeed in life. 330 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:48,060 Ugh! You are the worst kind of rich person. 331 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:55,140 ♪ Be it parsnips or peppers or kale or zucchini ♪ 332 00:15:55,210 --> 00:15:58,540 ♪ I like to relax with a spinach martini ♪ 333 00:15:58,610 --> 00:16:02,280 ♪ Bl drg tr blg vndl mrg frgrz Houdini ♪ 334 00:16:02,350 --> 00:16:05,180 ♪ 'Cause we love our vegetables. ♪ 335 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,050 And... cut. 336 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:11,790 That's a wrap, everybody. 337 00:16:11,860 --> 00:16:13,320 Ten minute break, then we shoot season three. 338 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,860 Leela, you may have become a Lady Gaga-esque fame hag, 339 00:16:20,930 --> 00:16:23,270 but you sure cheered up those orphans. 340 00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:24,700 Nice job. 341 00:16:26,140 --> 00:16:28,410 Thanks so much for inviting us to the taping. 342 00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:31,140 The kids haven't been this excited since Food Day. 343 00:16:31,210 --> 00:16:32,640 Ah, thanks. 344 00:16:32,710 --> 00:16:34,140 They're my inspiration. 345 00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:36,980 But not my only inspiration, am I right, Leels? 346 00:16:40,990 --> 00:16:43,020 Is somebody standing on me? 347 00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:47,560 Ah. I do love inconveniencing the underclass. 348 00:16:49,890 --> 00:16:51,360 Well, we'll be on our way. 349 00:16:51,430 --> 00:16:53,330 After we dig through your trash for aluminum. 350 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,730 Okay, kids, delta pattern. Go! Go! Go! 351 00:16:58,300 --> 00:16:59,770 Miss Leela? 352 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:01,040 Yes, Sally? 353 00:17:01,110 --> 00:17:04,870 I want to show you the story I made up. 354 00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:09,780 That's Gumdrop, Sticky, Candycorn, Sourball, and Jujube. 355 00:17:09,850 --> 00:17:11,650 They're brothers and sisters 356 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:13,950 and they live in Butterscotch Hollow. 357 00:17:14,020 --> 00:17:16,190 Sally, that's wonderful. 358 00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:18,150 You came up with that yourself? 359 00:17:18,220 --> 00:17:19,290 Out of thin air? 360 00:17:20,890 --> 00:17:21,760 How? 361 00:17:21,830 --> 00:17:23,390 You were an orphan, 362 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,100 and now you're the best writer ever. 363 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,470 So I knew I could write, too. 364 00:17:28,530 --> 00:17:30,970 Thank you for being my hero. 365 00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:34,900 I can't do this anymore. 366 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,370 I don't blame you. 367 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:37,870 Having to wear a costume 368 00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:40,440 made from a hollowed-out walrus. 369 00:17:40,510 --> 00:17:42,810 Everyone, I have a confession. 370 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,880 I Turanga Leela, 371 00:17:44,950 --> 00:17:46,850 winner of a Young People's Choice Award, 372 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,050 a Peabody Jr. and two Training Emmys, 373 00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:50,950 am not what I appear to be. 374 00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:52,760 There's something I need to show you. 375 00:17:52,820 --> 00:17:53,890 Uh-oh. 376 00:18:00,230 --> 00:18:02,000 Continuing my confession, 377 00:18:02,070 --> 00:18:04,070 this is the hardest thing I've ever done. 378 00:18:04,140 --> 00:18:07,000 Harder than creating the best-est show in the world? 379 00:18:07,070 --> 00:18:09,340 I didn't create anything. I stole it. 380 00:18:09,410 --> 00:18:11,840 Stealing is a form of creativity. 381 00:18:11,910 --> 00:18:13,040 No, it isn't. 382 00:18:13,110 --> 00:18:14,840 Guys, come on out. 383 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,020 Holy moly again. 384 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,850 Oh, hello, Leela. 385 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,420 I was just telling my friends 386 00:18:22,490 --> 00:18:24,420 how they shouldn't eat food off the floor. 387 00:18:24,490 --> 00:18:26,190 Should we sing a song about it? 388 00:18:26,260 --> 00:18:27,220 Yes, please. 389 00:18:27,290 --> 00:18:28,790 No need, Ladybuggle. 390 00:18:28,860 --> 00:18:30,190 Say, what's going on here? 391 00:18:31,930 --> 00:18:34,060 This planet is the real Rumbledy-Hump, 392 00:18:34,130 --> 00:18:36,030 and these creatures are the real Humplings. 393 00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:39,740 All I did was write down their adorably repetitious hijinks. 394 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,810 You lied? 395 00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:45,310 Like Doingg did when he stole Garbly's pet pinecone? 396 00:18:45,380 --> 00:18:47,240 You told them about that? 397 00:18:47,310 --> 00:18:49,310 I should have told the truth right away. 398 00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:52,950 These simple prairie folk have a simple prairie-ish life here, 399 00:18:53,020 --> 00:18:55,490 and I was wrong to exploit it for profit. 400 00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:58,820 I'm as sad as an upside down smile. 401 00:18:58,890 --> 00:19:00,490 You mean a frown? 402 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:04,990 We didn't have a word for it... until now. 403 00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:08,630 To think I put on an unflattering cupcake costume for you. 404 00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:11,030 To think I borrowed money from you. 405 00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:13,400 I was going to ask you to marry me. 406 00:19:13,470 --> 00:19:15,910 I guess if you can't make up stories, 407 00:19:15,970 --> 00:19:17,810 I can't neither. 408 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,210 I deserve this. 409 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,680 And more. 410 00:19:20,740 --> 00:19:21,910 Keep it coming. 411 00:19:21,980 --> 00:19:23,810 Wait a second. 412 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,750 As a big Hollywood TV producer, 413 00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:28,520 I think I know how to remedy this ethical lapse. 414 00:19:33,190 --> 00:19:37,030 ♪ So if you don't want a tapeworm or intestinal bug ♪ 415 00:19:37,090 --> 00:19:40,360 ♪ Don't eat pastrami that fell on the rug. ♪ 416 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:41,870 And... cut. 417 00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:43,070 Ta-da! 418 00:19:43,130 --> 00:19:45,070 We got us a reality show. 419 00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:46,440 No writers, no actors, no problem. 420 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,400 Doubledeal, this is disgraceful. 421 00:19:48,470 --> 00:19:50,140 You can't just rip off their real lives 422 00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:51,740 and put it on TV. 423 00:19:51,810 --> 00:19:54,240 Who said anything about ripping them off? 424 00:19:54,310 --> 00:19:55,650 I did. 425 00:19:55,710 --> 00:19:56,980 I'm paying 'em. 426 00:19:57,050 --> 00:19:59,120 Gather round, gang. Here are you paychecks. 427 00:20:02,690 --> 00:20:05,360 I can finally afford my speech therapy. 428 00:20:05,420 --> 00:20:08,390 And the health plan covers my generic Prozac. 429 00:20:08,460 --> 00:20:10,730 Electricity, plumbing-- 430 00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:13,300 our lives are a jillion times better. 431 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,630 And it's all thanks to you, Leela. 432 00:20:15,670 --> 00:20:17,000 Don't thank me. 433 00:20:17,070 --> 00:20:19,040 I should be punished. 434 00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:22,010 I've corrupted you and taught the orphans a terrible lesson. 435 00:20:22,070 --> 00:20:24,210 What orphans? The kids were all adopted. 436 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:25,440 They were? By who? 437 00:20:25,510 --> 00:20:27,240 Come on, kids, 438 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,750 let's get this place cleaned up for the next episode. 439 00:20:29,810 --> 00:20:31,250 Albert, pick up that pastrami 440 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:32,980 and put it back on the craft services table. 441 00:20:33,050 --> 00:20:34,220 You're the boss, Daddy. 442 00:20:34,290 --> 00:20:36,290 Oh, God, what have I done?! 443 00:20:36,350 --> 00:20:39,820 You've given us a new father and a full-time job. 444 00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:41,930 Which is more than most kids have. 445 00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:43,230 But... 446 00:20:43,290 --> 00:20:44,960 We love it here, Miss Leela. 447 00:20:45,030 --> 00:20:47,060 This is the funnest planet in the whole world. 448 00:20:47,130 --> 00:20:48,870 Don't hug me! 449 00:20:48,930 --> 00:20:50,330 I've done a horrible thing! 450 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:54,440 For God's sake, somebody teach me a lesson! 451 00:20:54,510 --> 00:20:59,039 We love Leela, we love Leela 452 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,580 No! 453 00:21:02,660 --> 00:21:05,560 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com