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♪ Two... two, three... ♪
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Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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Run, Leela!
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They're bouncing right at us.
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So, anybody hungry?
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I could stuff myself.
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I'll use that free app
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that tells
what restaurants you're near.
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You mean the window?
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Yes.
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I am lrrr, ruler
of the planet Omicron Persei 8!
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I demand extra dipping sauce!
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How many?
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I don't know. Two?
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Welcome to Fishy Joe's.
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Today is Stroganoff Thursday.
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We are currently out
of the following menu items.
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Stroganoff.
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May I take your order?
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I'll have the Stroganoff.
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Okay.
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Yeah, uh, give me
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the fried spaghetti-dinner
breakfast pocket for lunch,
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and a big bucket
of mixed sodas.
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One kids' meal.
Got it.
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Huh. Buggalo tots?
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What exactly
are those made out of?
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You got a warrant?
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I'll just have something
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from the lite menu.
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How about the
gardener-lover's salad?
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What kind of cheese filling
you want in that?
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Ugh! Just give me the fruit cup.
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Okeydoke.
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What kind of cheese filling
you want in that?
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Oh, God.
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Fruit is spelled f-r-o-o-t.
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And it's got quotation marks
around it.
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Mmm. There's nothing wrong
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with a little fast food
once or twice a meal.
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Heart... at-tack.
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I'm fine.
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Oh! I got a bone in my fruit!
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That's it.
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From now on,
we're not eating anything
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unless we know what it is
and where it's from.
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We're going
to the local farmers market.
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Aw, mom, do we have to?
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This is what I'm talking about.
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See all the dirt and earwigs?
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That's the sign
of healthy food.
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You think that's healthy,
try this.
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I found it growing
at the bottom of my hamper.
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Mmm, so fresh and musty.
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It's what I do.
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Hello, tiny man.
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You want sample small-batch
Amazonian maple syrup?
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Sure.
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Mm. Ah!
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That's the kind of sap I like.
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You the kind
of sap I like.
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I'm scare-roused.
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Zuban tobacco?!
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The richest, most
obnoxious kind!
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Listen, pal, I'm looking
for a versatile smoke,
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one that's equally good
in a crowded elevator
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or an audience with the pope.
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Forget the pope, my friend.
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Smoke one of these,
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and God himself will ask
to be seated far away from you.
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Ooh!
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Heirloom eggs?
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That's so life-affirming.
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I'll bet you run
your own hatchery,
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just you and your wife...
Matilda.
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No, ma'am. Matilda and I gather
them eggs in the forest.
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00:04:03,231 --> 00:04:05,933
And Matilda's really more
of a mongoose than a wife.
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You're a lucky man.
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00:04:07,669 --> 00:04:09,837
But are they way more expensive
than regular eggs?
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Way more.
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Ooh! I'll take a dozen.
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What?
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You're not my breakfast friends.
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What are you doing here?
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Leela blackmailed us all into
eating healthy, organic food.
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Blackmail? What
does she have on you?
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As long as we eat
her filthy scrambled eggs,
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you'll never find out.
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They're not filthy.
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They're wholesome, fertile
and fresh from the forest floor.
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There's some filth.
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"Fertile"? What does that mean?
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It means it will hatch
into a tiny, little,
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infant creature unless
we cook it first.
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Hey, Leela, hurry up
with those scrambled infants.
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What?! That's horrifying!
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Zoidberg,
you're an inhuman monster.
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What are you, my
driver's license?
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Eating a sweet innocent chick
before it's even hatched?
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Oh, no, you won'tn't!
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I refuse to eat
an unborn animal.
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I'm going to keep this egg safe
and warm and secure
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until it hatches out
into the world.
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And then I'm going to eat it.
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♪ ♪
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Should we turn on the TV?
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Nah.
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Bender, do you mind?
I'm roosting.
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I'm considering buying a yacht
to house my thoroughbreds.
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How do you expect me to do that
without smoking a cigar?
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Think of the unborn embryo.
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That's what
I'm gonna call the yacht.
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Hey!
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Leggo my eggo, crabbo!
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Stop it, Fry.
That's sexual harassment.
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Yeah, come down off your
round, white pulpit.
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You're just going to
eat that thing anyway.
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I was, but you can't
sit on something
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for a week without falling
in love with it.
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Whoever's in here
deserves a chance at life.
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A chance to blossom
into a beautiful young man,
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like I did as a baby.
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And so I make this solemn vow.
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To do everything I can
to make sure
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this wonderful,
innocent creature
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enters this world happy,
healthy, and...
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All yours, Zoidberg.
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Aw, look at the cute little...
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Aah!
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I was gonna go yachting
in those feet!
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Relax, you babies.
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It's no different
from stomping a puppy.
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Everyone, stop!
He's not going to hurt you.
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I'm standing in a pool
of my own feet.
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Bender's right. Kill it
before someone names it!
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No! Mr. Peppy just wants
to be our friend.
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Oy. Look, I know he's ugly,
and kind of corrosive,
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but we can't murder someone
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just 'cause he's
hideous and annoying.
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That's what we said
about Zoidberg,
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and look where that got us.
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Amy has a point.
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Mr. Peppy's not
like Zoidberg.
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He's my friend.
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Aw...
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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Where to, adulterers?
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Calculon?! Then it
wasn't your body
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they found in the harbor
after the bomb went off.
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What bomb?
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It takes more than that
to surprise me... Bender.
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What you doing, little buddy?
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Uh, yeah, Uncle Bender--
he's your friend.
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Huh?
156
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Oh, you want to play fetch.
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00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,742
Come on, boy, get the ball.
158
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,747
Dumb jerk.
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00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:10,216
Come on, get the ball.
160
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:17,022
Sweet freak of Mozambique,
that thing's colossal!
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It's gonna kill us all.
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It's so huge.
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How big does one
of those things get?
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Well, that depends on what
one of those things is.
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That seems like a
fact worth knowing.
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Good startling news, everyone.
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I found a description
of the creature
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in this medieval
monster manual.
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Just as I feared.
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Attack-type J.
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No! No!
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Yes! It kills its prey
by sucking out the skeleton,
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leaving nothing
but a puddle of flesh.
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Ew!
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Hence, the Latin name
Bonus Vampirus,
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or as you non-catholics
would say, the Bone Vampire.
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Dios mio.
178
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,972
That's ridiculous!
179
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,807
Mr. Peppy doesn't eat bones.
180
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:12,077
I raised him on a simple diet of
brussels sprouts and mixed soda.
181
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At least there's
only one of them.
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00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,983
The good news is, they
can't start breeding.
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00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:22,488
The bad news, everyone, is,
the beast reproduces asexually.
184
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:26,225
A single bone vampire,
left alone with some quiet music
185
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,794
and some bone vampire porn,
186
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could produce dozens
of deadly offspring.
187
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That lucky bastard.
188
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I say kill it!
189
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But it loves me, and I love it!
190
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,403
Kill them both!
191
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,204
Killing them seems
like a hassle.
192
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,774
Can't we just set it free
to live with its own kind?
193
00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:44,443
Poor, ignorant Leela.
194
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:47,946
The bone vampire is now extinct
on its home planet.
195
00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:49,782
That's perfect.
196
00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:53,452
We can reintroduce it to the
wild and repopulate the species.
197
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:56,155
Yeah, let's do
those Leela things.
198
00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:10,936
Well, buddy,
how do you like your new home?
199
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,807
See, he's happy already.
200
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:16,809
That thing doesn't have
emotions, Fry.
201
00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:18,944
Its brain is the size
of a walnut.
202
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,780
So are walnuts, and
they're delicious.
203
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:29,421
I'll miss you, Mr. Peppy,
but you'll be happier here.
204
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:32,391
So go on, go.
205
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:35,260
G-good-bye, Mr. Peppy.
206
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:38,030
Come on, man, don't do this.
207
00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:40,032
Go on now.
208
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:43,268
I mean it, don't make this
any harder than it has to be.
209
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:45,003
It's time to let go.
210
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:46,805
Ow!
211
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:51,643
Thanks, Leela, he just needed
a little extra push.
212
00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:01,019
Come on, Fry, let's go home and
213
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:04,089
Hold up, there's alcohol
around here somewhere.
214
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,825
My tanqueraydar is going crazy.
215
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,228
Aha!
216
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,397
Thought you could get
away from me, huh?
217
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:14,366
You lose again,
you stupid intoxicant.
218
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,608
♪ ♪
219
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:30,382
We're not from around here.
220
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,151
Hello.
221
00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:35,487
Airwhilka maur fleegle
bingo drooper snrk!
222
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,923
Excuse me, but we're guests
on your planet.
223
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,291
Speak English!
224
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:40,793
Behave yourselves, gents.
225
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:43,929
Offworlders best be
welcome here,
226
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:46,665
especially if we're trying
to get the Olympics.
227
00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:51,937
May I buy you a drink?
228
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:54,907
We don't get a lot
of pretty faces around here.
229
00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:57,943
Uh, sure,
but I'm driving.
230
00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:00,212
I'll just have the smallest
whiskey you've got.
231
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,215
A small aquarium of whiskey
for the busty lass.
232
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,418
Thanks. I suppose
I should know your name
233
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:07,820
if I'm going to be drinking
234
00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:09,822
ten gallons
of alcohol with you.
235
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:10,989
Maczongo.
236
00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:12,691
Angus Maczongo.
237
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,893
Major Angus Maczongo.
238
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:18,764
Handsome Major Angus Maczongo,
Esquire.
239
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:21,867
Ooh, handsome and Esquire.
240
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,135
I'm Turanga Leela.
241
00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:26,472
My crew and I are from Earth.
242
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:29,341
So what brings you folks
here to Doohan 6?
243
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,977
We just released an endangered
animal back into the wild--
244
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,712
a bone vampire.
245
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,852
No need to thank us.
246
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:42,421
Your shocked stares of gratitude
say it all.
247
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:46,191
Dear God, you brought
back the bone vampire?!
248
00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:47,659
The damned things wreaked
bloody havoc
249
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:49,962
on our livestock for centuries.
250
00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:52,197
Aye, until Maczongo here
shot 'em all
251
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,066
into extinction, he did.
252
00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:57,469
Now we've got more livestock
than we can slaughter.
253
00:13:57,537 --> 00:14:01,206
Oh, aye, 'tis a Bonnie time
to be an ignorant villager.
254
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:04,910
We kinna have no murdering
bone vampires back here.
255
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:07,145
Kill it afore it puts a bun
in its own oven
256
00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:09,281
and repopulates
the bleeding planet.
257
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,250
No!
Angus is right.
258
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:13,085
I thought you were named Angus.
259
00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:14,720
We're all named Angus.
260
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:17,222
Please, Mr. Peppy won't attack
your livestock.
261
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:20,325
He's a vegetarian, and he's
not even preachy about it.
262
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,261
Poppycock.
263
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:24,196
Once he gets the smell of bones,
there'll be no stopping him.
264
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:28,233
Tonight, Mr. Peppy must die.
265
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:31,203
Angus, wait, my strictly
platonic friend is right.
266
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:34,006
At least wait a few days
before you decide to kill it.
267
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:36,141
The last time I hesitated,
268
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,644
a bone vampire snicked out
me left shin.
269
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:43,282
Please, just a few days.
270
00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:45,417
Well, 'twould give us a chance
271
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:46,985
to get to know each other.
272
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:51,189
The beast lives... for now.
273
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:52,791
Thank you, Angus.
274
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:54,159
You're welcome!
275
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,803
I don't trust that Maczongo.
276
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:06,772
Maybe I should go keep
an eye on Mr. Peppy.
277
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,640
Don't worry about Maczongo.
278
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,309
He and I are having
brunch tomorrow.
279
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,678
I'm thinking of wearing this.
280
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,780
It's nice, but there's
still something
281
00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:16,715
I don't like about that guy.
282
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:19,051
My dad always said you could
tell a lot about a man
283
00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:21,687
by the rigidity of his shins.
284
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,063
What is it?
285
00:15:36,235 --> 00:15:39,171
Lang a muir a Gryffindor-
Slytherin hufflepuff!
286
00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:41,373
It killed little Angus!
287
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,875
They're all dead, and
their bones are gone.
288
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,979
This was no accident.
289
00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:49,982
Still think your Mr. Peppy
is harmless, Fry?
290
00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:51,683
He wouldn't do this
in our sleep.
291
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:54,152
He would not,
could not to a sheep.
292
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:55,320
The deal is off.
293
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:57,089
The beast must die.
294
00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:04,763
Ooh, pimpy.
295
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,468
What are we supposed to do,
296
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,770
just sit here and wait
for Mr. Peppy to be killed?
297
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:14,046
Sounds like a plan.
298
00:16:14,212 --> 00:16:17,636
Guess I'll pass the time
by lighting up an El Jerko.
299
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:28,687
Okay, that's it.
300
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:30,522
I need some air.
301
00:16:36,474 --> 00:16:37,987
Who's there?
302
00:16:39,904 --> 00:16:42,866
Hermes, is this one
of your zany practical jokes?
303
00:16:53,585 --> 00:16:54,819
Leela, are you okay?
304
00:16:54,887 --> 00:16:56,654
Did you drink too many aquaria?
305
00:16:56,722 --> 00:16:58,966
Look, the bone vampire.
306
00:17:02,995 --> 00:17:04,862
Mr. Peppy attacked me.
307
00:17:04,930 --> 00:17:06,397
Quick, count my bones.
308
00:17:06,465 --> 00:17:08,332
There should be 205.
309
00:17:13,939 --> 00:17:15,873
Okay, that's better.
310
00:17:15,941 --> 00:17:17,542
Keep 'em coming.
311
00:17:17,609 --> 00:17:18,910
I'm sorry, Fry,
312
00:17:18,977 --> 00:17:21,979
but no vegetarian
could have done this.
313
00:17:22,047 --> 00:17:26,918
I know, and as much as I love
Mr. Peppy, I love Leela more.
314
00:17:26,985 --> 00:17:29,454
He has to be...
...Put down.
315
00:17:29,521 --> 00:17:30,988
Aw, don't feel bad.
316
00:17:31,056 --> 00:17:33,925
Major Maczongo
is an experienced hunter.
317
00:17:33,992 --> 00:17:37,462
He'll blow Mr. Peppy's head off
as painlessly as possible.
318
00:17:37,529 --> 00:17:39,130
No, not Maczongo.
319
00:17:39,198 --> 00:17:42,900
If anyone is going to kill
Mr. Peppy, it should be me.
320
00:17:42,968 --> 00:17:45,002
Fry, I know you're
upset right now,
321
00:17:45,070 --> 00:17:47,638
but I hope you'll
consider donating
322
00:17:47,706 --> 00:17:49,774
the body to science dinner.
323
00:17:54,046 --> 00:17:55,880
Here, Mr. Peppy.
324
00:17:55,948 --> 00:17:58,416
Mmm, lovely bones.
325
00:17:58,484 --> 00:17:59,817
We've been walking for hours.
326
00:17:59,885 --> 00:18:01,953
I hope we can find
our way back.
327
00:18:02,020 --> 00:18:04,422
Don't worry, I left
a trail of bread crumbs.
328
00:18:04,490 --> 00:18:08,426
And I left a trail of cigars.
329
00:18:10,629 --> 00:18:11,996
You don't have to do this, Fry.
330
00:18:12,064 --> 00:18:14,699
Mr. Peppy just gave me
a little love concussion.
331
00:18:14,766 --> 00:18:16,934
Thanks, Leela, but
I have no choice.
332
00:18:17,002 --> 00:18:19,904
I can't let my monstrous
deboner get anywhere near you.
333
00:18:19,972 --> 00:18:21,372
There it is!
334
00:18:23,575 --> 00:18:25,676
Well, this is it.
335
00:18:25,744 --> 00:18:27,445
You guys wait here.
336
00:18:27,513 --> 00:18:31,315
This is going to kill him
more than it does me.
337
00:18:33,352 --> 00:18:34,919
Good-bye, boy.
338
00:18:34,987 --> 00:18:36,888
I'll think of you whenever I sit
on something round.
339
00:18:44,196 --> 00:18:47,365
What's happening?
Did you kill it?
340
00:18:47,432 --> 00:18:49,667
The bloody idiot bloody shot me.
341
00:18:49,735 --> 00:18:51,302
I'm all bloody bloody!
342
00:18:52,771 --> 00:18:53,905
Mr. Peppy,
343
00:18:53,972 --> 00:18:55,606
bullets make you talk?
344
00:18:55,674 --> 00:18:57,775
That's not Mr. Peppy.
345
00:19:00,078 --> 00:19:02,647
Jinkies, he Scooby-Dooed us.
346
00:19:02,714 --> 00:19:05,349
Why, Major Maczongo, why?
347
00:19:05,417 --> 00:19:09,353
Oh, it's been 30 years since
last I killed a bone vampire.
348
00:19:09,421 --> 00:19:12,123
The villagers dinna idolize me
like they used to.
349
00:19:12,191 --> 00:19:14,425
You seemed pretty popular
at the pub.
350
00:19:14,493 --> 00:19:16,761
I work there as a greeter.
351
00:19:16,828 --> 00:19:19,363
Your beast was my chance
to be a hero again,
352
00:19:19,431 --> 00:19:21,365
but the damn thing
was a vegetarian,
353
00:19:21,433 --> 00:19:23,334
so I slaughtered
the sheep myself.
354
00:19:23,402 --> 00:19:25,069
But why did you attack me?
355
00:19:25,137 --> 00:19:26,470
So I could impress you
356
00:19:26,538 --> 00:19:28,005
by seeking revenge
on the creature.
357
00:19:28,073 --> 00:19:30,441
Us greeters don't
get a lot of action.
358
00:19:30,509 --> 00:19:32,910
On paper it seemed like
a win-win situation.
359
00:19:32,978 --> 00:19:35,446
Do you realize
what this means, Fry?
360
00:19:35,514 --> 00:19:38,115
Your pet's not dangerous
after all.
361
00:19:38,183 --> 00:19:41,485
I told you Mr. Peppy's
a lover, not a fighter,
362
00:19:41,553 --> 00:19:44,388
like Dwayne "The Rock"
"The Tooth Fairy" Johnson.
363
00:19:48,727 --> 00:19:51,229
Hey, what's
that bone-sucking sound?
364
00:19:53,498 --> 00:19:55,466
It's Mr. Peppy.
365
00:19:55,534 --> 00:19:57,134
I'd know him anywhere.
366
00:19:57,202 --> 00:19:59,403
Huh, so apparently
Major Maczongo
367
00:19:59,471 --> 00:20:02,440
and Mr. Peppy were each doing
about half the sheep-killing.
368
00:20:07,579 --> 00:20:09,513
Why, Mr. Peppy, why?
369
00:20:09,581 --> 00:20:10,715
Ooh, that tickles.
370
00:20:13,485 --> 00:20:15,519
Now I really do have
to kill you.
371
00:20:15,587 --> 00:20:17,955
Wait,
372
00:20:18,023 --> 00:20:19,123
don't shoot.
373
00:20:19,191 --> 00:20:20,858
The beast is a godsend.
374
00:20:20,926 --> 00:20:22,793
Like I said,
we've more livestock
375
00:20:22,861 --> 00:20:24,595
than we can slaughter,
376
00:20:24,663 --> 00:20:27,031
but thanks
to this ravenous bogle,
377
00:20:27,099 --> 00:20:28,733
that's nae more a problem.
378
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,134
Angus is right.
379
00:20:30,202 --> 00:20:32,603
The cursed thing
even debones 'em,
380
00:20:32,671 --> 00:20:36,073
which is perfect for today's
fast-paced, lazy consumer.
381
00:20:36,141 --> 00:20:39,497
Dersu uzala yojimbo,
rashomon!
382
00:20:39,622 --> 00:20:41,146
The beast must live!
383
00:20:41,312 --> 00:20:44,107
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
384
00:20:44,273 --> 00:20:45,516
You know what the best part is?
385
00:20:45,584 --> 00:20:47,518
From now on,
whenever we're eating
386
00:20:47,586 --> 00:20:49,620
fresh, organic space-meat,
387
00:20:49,688 --> 00:20:52,223
we'll know exactly
where it comes from.
388
00:20:52,532 --> 00:20:54,225
One bucket of
389
00:20:54,293 --> 00:20:57,728
double-fried, triple-salted,
boneless sheep tots, please.
390
00:20:57,796 --> 00:20:59,430
What kind of cheese filling
you want in that?
391
00:20:59,498 --> 00:21:01,465
All kinds.
392
00:21:01,533 --> 00:21:02,967
Eh, make it two,
393
00:21:03,957 --> 00:21:06,338
and a small whiskey. Large.