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♪ Two... two, three... ♪
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♪ ♪
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Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
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Mom on deck!
Ten...
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All right, grunts,
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here's your
pre-mission pep talk.
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Shoot anyone
who doesn't obey hard enough.
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But...
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Stop gaining
knowledge, Hubert.
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It's a simple mission.
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The grunts catch the alien,
the surgeon guts it,
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and you smuggle
the poison parts back here.
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Uh, something
about poison, got it.
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By the way, that surgeon--
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where is he?
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You! Where's the butcher?
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Ma'am, I don't know, ma'am.
His duffel bag arrived.
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It's not a duffel bag.
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It's my apartment!
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Hubert, meet John Zoidberg.
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You need an alien
hacked to pieces,
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he's the best there is...
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in the budget category.
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Have you ever dissected
a yeti before?
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Himalayan or Neptunian?
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Tritonian.
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A Tritonian yeti?
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You two aren't up
to anything unethical,
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- are you?
- Relax.
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There's nothing unethical
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about covert
biological weapons research.
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I said relax!
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Ah, Zoidberg, we've
known each other so long
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that sometimes I don't
think we even need words
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to understand
each other.
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What?
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Once and for all, Fry,
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even though it's the future,
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most objects
are still just objects,
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not aliens who
look like objects.
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So my efforts to establish
diplomatic relations
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with the Cactus People
were doomed from the start.
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So you're in pain
and have a bunch of needles?
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I prescribe acupuncture.
Let's begin.
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Blood?!
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I mean... blood.
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Put it back in me!
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I'm afraid Fry lost
a lot of juice.
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He's developed
Simpson's Jaundice.
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Ay carumba.
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His only hope
is some replacement liver.
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Yours looks like a good match.
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Well, if it'll help Fry...
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Careful, Leela!
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He knows less about
human anatomy than I do.
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And I can't even
find my own uterus.
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You may feel a slight sawing.
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And all we need
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is a little spine supplement
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to replace what Leela lost
in that unavoidable saw mix-up.
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It wasn't unavoidable.
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You just had to stop
cutting my spine
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when I yelled "Stop,
you're cutting my spine!"
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Quit complaining.
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My body rejected your liver,
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and now I've got
Garfield Syndrome.
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Oh, I hate Mondays.
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Anyhow, Hermes,
all Leela needs
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is one of your vertebrae.
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But Doctor, will I be able
to limbo afterwards?
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Could you limbo before?
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Wait.
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I say, "Yes,"
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and you say,
"I couldn't limbo before."
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You ruined
the joke, Hermes.
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There you go, Leela.
Good as new!
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Whoa. Whoa...
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Oh, sure, Leela's fine,
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but my jaundice has progressed
to Muppet Gangrene!
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It's not easy being gangrenous.
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I thought you were only gonna
take out one vertebra!
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Yeah, but did
you ever play Jenga?
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Sometimes you pull one and...
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You don't know what you're doing!
I want my back back!
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Hmm. What started out
as a pleasant afternoon
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of drugs and surgery
has not gone as planned.
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But don't worry, we still have
three or four co-workers
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with plenty of spare parts.
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My first mission.
I'm so excited.
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And after I dissect
the yeti's poison glands,
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we can stop, maybe,
for ice cream on the way back?
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With shprinkles on?
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Why, you're just a big kid,
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aren't you, Zoidberg?
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A very big kid.
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We're over the drop
zone, gentlemen.
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Might I suggest you jump out
the door and poop yourselves?
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So anyway, I hope the
men have been taking
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their hypermalaria pills.
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Their wha--?
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Their "wha--"?
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That's funny,
like a crazy old man.
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But you know
what's not funny?
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Deadly Tritonian
hypermalaria.
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Just be sure to stay out
of the methane swamps.
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What smells like methane?
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My God.
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I've never seen such
a gruesome shark attack.
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Especially this
far inland.
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It wasn't a shark.
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It was an awful,
incompetent doctor.
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Wow, he must've been
a total Zoidberg.
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It was Zoidberg.
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He brutalized us
with power tools,
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gypsy curses and hypnosis.
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Yes, master.
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You'll all get
through this.
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I give you my word
as a real doctor.
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What about me?
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What did he do to you?
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I don't know
exactly, but
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I'm incontinent.
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I'm truly sorry.
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I consider myself
a reasonable man.
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Quick with a joke,
slow to anger.
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But Bender can't go
on long car trips anymore,
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and I say Zoidberg must die.
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People, please.
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Let's not overreact.
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Death to the crab.
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How bad is it, Doctor?
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Super bad.
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It's Tritonian
hypermalaria.
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A lot of these men will
be dead within 24 hours.
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What?!
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Not you, though.
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You'll make a complete recovery
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and go on to marry a supermodel!
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Funny plague,
hypermalaria.
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It can kill immediately,
or lie dormant for decades.
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But sooner or later,
it erupts,
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causing fever,
spasms, madness,
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coma,
and finally death.
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What?!
Supermodel!
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Oh, those poor,
doomed bastards.
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I guess it's up to me
to complete the mission.
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I'll be in the swamp, blowing
the smirk off a toxic yeti.
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Professor, we need
to talk, man-to-mob.
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We've had it
with Zoidberg!
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We demand you fire him!
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Nonsense.
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Zoidberg's a fine physician,
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for aliens.
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Your mistake is being humans.
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No, if I'm going to fire anyone,
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it'll be Scruffy.
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You can't do that!
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Over my dead body!
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00:07:00,483 --> 00:07:01,783
Don't you get
it, old man?
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Thanks to Dr. Scissorhands,
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00:07:03,719 --> 00:07:05,787
I wet myself every
time I laugh.
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It's not funny!
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00:07:08,724 --> 00:07:10,525
Well, I guess
it is kind of funny.
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Uh-oh.
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Why are you protecting
Zoidberg, Professor?
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Do you owe him
something?
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Is he blackmailing you
somehow?
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What does he
have on you?
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Why have you kept him
around all these years
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when he's so grossly
incompetent?
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Long ago,
Zoidberg and I
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entered
into a secret arrangement
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relating to certain
extraordinary events
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too horrible to reveal.
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So there's nothing
to be curious about.
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Stop, or I'll shoot!
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Zoidberg?
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You can't hunt a yeti
by yourself, sir.
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It's suicidal!
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So what? I'm going to die
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00:08:00,643 --> 00:08:02,310
of hypermalaria, anyway.
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I was in the same swamp
as the rest of the men.
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00:08:05,481 --> 00:08:06,748
Just because you
were in the swamp
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doesn't
necessarily mean...
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I was thirsty
from the flight.
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I drank swamp water.
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Look, Zoidberg,
you're a loyal friend.
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"Friend"?
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00:08:16,492 --> 00:08:17,859
But I'm doomed.
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00:08:17,927 --> 00:08:21,096
I might as well capture
a yeti and die trying.
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Then you'll need someone
to dissect it, friend.
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Go, Johnny! Go!
That's an order!
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00:08:32,074 --> 00:08:35,043
Never! Zoidberg doesn't
abandon a friend, apparently.
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Oh. Oh-oh-oh...
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I'll save us
by scaring him off
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00:08:46,055 --> 00:08:47,755
with my crazy war noise.
197
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Crunch all you want.
I'll make more.
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00:08:59,602 --> 00:09:01,669
Oy, I lost another one.
199
00:09:03,372 --> 00:09:05,840
Zoidberg, I'm sorry
to break it to you this way,
200
00:09:05,908 --> 00:09:08,476
but we hate you and we never
want to see you again.
201
00:09:08,544 --> 00:09:09,811
But friends...
202
00:09:09,879 --> 00:09:11,379
We're not your friends!
203
00:09:11,447 --> 00:09:12,580
We're your victims!
204
00:09:12,648 --> 00:09:13,915
I was just trying to...
205
00:09:13,983 --> 00:09:15,817
Shut up and give
me my kidney back!
206
00:09:15,885 --> 00:09:18,553
I'm sorry.
207
00:09:18,621 --> 00:09:21,055
I'm sorry.
208
00:09:21,123 --> 00:09:23,525
We don't know why the Professor
keeps you around here,
209
00:09:23,592 --> 00:09:25,894
and we don't care.
You're a terrible doctor!
210
00:09:25,961 --> 00:09:27,762
Nobody wants
to see you ever again!
211
00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:29,230
Dr. Zoidberg!
212
00:09:29,265 --> 00:09:30,965
I want to see
you right now!
213
00:09:37,071 --> 00:09:38,973
The time has
come, my friend.
214
00:09:39,041 --> 00:09:42,410
We have to talk about
our arrangement.
215
00:09:42,478 --> 00:09:44,546
Oh, no. No, no.
216
00:09:44,613 --> 00:09:45,880
Oh, no, no, no!
217
00:09:45,948 --> 00:09:47,015
Oh, no!
218
00:09:47,082 --> 00:09:48,816
Oh, no!
219
00:09:50,753 --> 00:09:53,388
Unpaw him, you big ape!
220
00:09:53,455 --> 00:09:55,790
I saw this in a Tarzan movie!
221
00:09:55,858 --> 00:09:57,425
It was called...
222
00:09:57,493 --> 00:09:59,561
Tarzan Versus the Yetis.
223
00:09:59,628 --> 00:10:01,763
I lost my virginity
224
00:10:01,830 --> 00:10:03,031
... during the film,
225
00:10:03,098 --> 00:10:04,499
so I'm ...
226
00:10:04,567 --> 00:10:06,201
a little fuzzy on the details.
227
00:10:20,915 --> 00:10:22,550
John, are you
all right?
228
00:10:22,618 --> 00:10:25,720
You... you saved my life!
229
00:10:25,788 --> 00:10:27,589
- Oh, fuff.
- Yes, fuff.
230
00:10:27,656 --> 00:10:29,557
How can I ever
repay you?
231
00:10:29,625 --> 00:10:30,725
Do you need a slave?
232
00:10:30,793 --> 00:10:31,826
Or maybe a butler?
233
00:10:31,894 --> 00:10:33,761
No, I haven't needed a butler
234
00:10:33,829 --> 00:10:35,029
since grad school.
235
00:10:35,097 --> 00:10:36,898
But I do need a doctor.
236
00:10:36,966 --> 00:10:40,101
I don't want to die
like those Marines, John.
237
00:10:40,169 --> 00:10:42,570
The fever, the madness.
238
00:10:42,638 --> 00:10:44,939
Don't forget the spasms,
coma and death.
239
00:10:45,007 --> 00:10:47,508
Oh, I don't want
to go through that.
240
00:10:47,576 --> 00:10:49,477
I want you to kill me.
241
00:10:49,545 --> 00:10:50,812
All right. Give
me the knife.
242
00:10:50,879 --> 00:10:52,513
Not now!
243
00:10:52,581 --> 00:10:54,882
Hypermalaria
can lie dormant for years.
244
00:10:54,950 --> 00:10:56,684
Isn't that what you said?
245
00:10:56,752 --> 00:10:58,753
It sounds like something
I would say.
246
00:10:58,821 --> 00:11:01,489
So stay with me until
the symptoms start,
247
00:11:01,557 --> 00:11:04,058
then put me
out of my misery.
248
00:11:04,126 --> 00:11:05,526
You must swear!
249
00:11:08,196 --> 00:11:10,932
All right, Hubert, I swear.
250
00:11:14,035 --> 00:11:15,670
It's started, Zoidberg--
251
00:11:16,038 --> 00:11:18,473
the fever, the muscle spasms.
252
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:20,108
I'm dying.
253
00:11:21,675 --> 00:11:24,910
It's time for you to keep your
promise and kill me.
254
00:11:25,514 --> 00:11:28,616
This is very difficult,
but I'll try,
255
00:11:29,684 --> 00:11:30,551
friend.
256
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:39,330
No, wait,
I'm afraid to die.
257
00:11:39,398 --> 00:11:41,566
Ugh, you said you wanted me
to kill you.
258
00:11:41,633 --> 00:11:44,302
Is this one of those
"no means yes" deals?
259
00:11:44,369 --> 00:11:46,237
Yes and no.
260
00:11:46,305 --> 00:11:48,706
I do want you to kill me,
but I mustn't see it coming.
261
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:50,408
That would be agony.
262
00:11:50,475 --> 00:11:53,911
So you must murder me
completely by surprise.
263
00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:57,348
As God is my witness,
you can count on me.
264
00:11:57,416 --> 00:12:00,084
Well, see you tomorrow.
265
00:12:05,223 --> 00:12:07,391
Not surprising enough.
266
00:12:10,395 --> 00:12:12,496
♪ ♪
267
00:12:30,682 --> 00:12:31,849
Wha...?
Oh...
268
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,618
My...
269
00:12:33,685 --> 00:12:35,519
heart.
270
00:12:53,005 --> 00:12:54,372
Hey. What are you doing there?
271
00:12:54,439 --> 00:12:58,342
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
272
00:12:58,410 --> 00:12:59,744
Stop, you don't understand.
273
00:12:59,811 --> 00:13:01,245
Let's go,
you murderer.
274
00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:02,813
Fry, help me lock him up.
275
00:13:02,881 --> 00:13:05,416
Hang on, I'm learning
how to do loop-de-loops.
276
00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:08,152
Whoa, whoa, whoo!
277
00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:10,221
You're making a mistake.
278
00:13:10,288 --> 00:13:13,257
I was only trying
to kill the Professor.
279
00:13:21,466 --> 00:13:24,168
Hubert, I'm sorry.
280
00:13:24,236 --> 00:13:26,470
Huh?
281
00:13:26,538 --> 00:13:27,805
He doesn't have hair.
282
00:13:28,873 --> 00:13:31,175
Great Little Caesar's ghost.
283
00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:35,713
You fools, you stupid,
life-prolonging fools.
284
00:13:35,781 --> 00:13:38,482
I asked Zoidberg to kill me.
285
00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:39,750
Huh? What?
What you talkin' 'bout, Professor?
286
00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:41,419
Professor, have you gone mad?
287
00:13:41,486 --> 00:13:43,154
Probably.
288
00:13:43,221 --> 00:13:44,655
It's one of the symptoms
of Tritonian hypermalaria.
289
00:13:46,658 --> 00:13:50,494
You mean the incurable disease
that causes fever, spasms,
290
00:13:50,562 --> 00:13:52,496
insanity...
291
00:13:52,564 --> 00:13:53,731
...coma...
292
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:56,667
...and finally death?
293
00:13:56,735 --> 00:14:01,138
Yes, and I begged Zoidberg
to put me out of my misery.
294
00:14:01,206 --> 00:14:03,307
Bring him... quickly.
295
00:14:06,878 --> 00:14:08,646
Should have known better
296
00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:11,382
than to store my antiques
in the office.
297
00:14:11,450 --> 00:14:13,184
Zoidberg, we were wrong.
298
00:14:13,251 --> 00:14:16,654
We're letting you out
so you can kill the Professor.
299
00:14:19,691 --> 00:14:22,560
Oh, no, he sand-crabbed out.
300
00:14:22,627 --> 00:14:24,662
Then we have no choice.
301
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:27,398
We'll have to mercy-kill
the Professor ourselves.
302
00:14:27,466 --> 00:14:29,333
Well, let's get started.
303
00:14:34,806 --> 00:14:36,307
We have a situation,
Mother.
304
00:14:36,374 --> 00:14:39,243
This creature tried to
sand-crab into the building.
305
00:14:39,311 --> 00:14:41,312
Zoidberg?
306
00:14:41,379 --> 00:14:43,514
Sorry I didn't call first,
Carol, but I'm in a hurry.
307
00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:45,282
I need your help to save Hubert.
308
00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:47,651
Let him go and stooge
the hell out of here.
309
00:14:47,719 --> 00:14:49,253
We're on it.
310
00:14:49,321 --> 00:14:50,354
Ow. Ow! Ow!
311
00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:52,123
Beautiful kids.
312
00:14:52,190 --> 00:14:54,158
You must be very proud.
313
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,060
John Zoidberg.
314
00:14:56,128 --> 00:14:57,361
It's been a long time.
315
00:14:57,429 --> 00:14:58,562
How have you been?
316
00:14:58,630 --> 00:15:00,331
Not too bad.
317
00:15:00,398 --> 00:15:02,433
Last year I took a bus trip
to the Grand Canyon.
318
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:04,235
Later I'll show you
the pictures.
319
00:15:04,302 --> 00:15:05,603
Do you ever regret it, John,
320
00:15:05,670 --> 00:15:07,772
leaving me to work
for the Professor?
321
00:15:07,839 --> 00:15:10,541
What do you
want me to say?
322
00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:12,243
He saved my life.
323
00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:13,611
Oh, big deal.
324
00:15:13,678 --> 00:15:15,412
You could have been rich
if you'd stayed.
325
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,948
Your own lab,
a full staff.
326
00:15:18,016 --> 00:15:20,084
But Hubert is my friend.
327
00:15:20,152 --> 00:15:21,519
He's very sick.
328
00:15:21,586 --> 00:15:24,488
I can cure him, but
I need the thing,
329
00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:26,590
the thing from Triton.
330
00:15:26,658 --> 00:15:28,459
It'll cost you, John.
331
00:15:28,527 --> 00:15:30,060
How much are you worth now?
332
00:15:30,128 --> 00:15:31,529
I live in a Dumpster.
333
00:15:31,596 --> 00:15:33,531
All I have in the world
is this coupon
334
00:15:33,598 --> 00:15:36,500
for one free session
at the tanning salon.
335
00:15:36,568 --> 00:15:40,137
Oh, John, that's really
all you have?
336
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:45,042
Then I'll take it.
337
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:54,318
Okay, Murdolator's finished.
338
00:15:57,556 --> 00:16:01,425
I said I'd kill him myself,
but nobody listens to Bender.
339
00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:03,360
We all have to share
in the guilt,
340
00:16:03,428 --> 00:16:06,096
which is why we're each going
to add one drop of cyanide
341
00:16:06,164 --> 00:16:08,098
to the death wheel
as it goes by.
342
00:16:19,643 --> 00:16:20,578
Commence mercy-killing
343
00:16:20,645 --> 00:16:23,848
in three, two, a-yup.
344
00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:28,919
Kill-check one is go.
345
00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:46,437
Kill-check two is go.
346
00:17:03,288 --> 00:17:05,322
It's about time.
347
00:17:13,731 --> 00:17:15,032
Vegetables activated.
348
00:17:24,341 --> 00:17:25,342
Kill-check three is go.
349
00:17:25,410 --> 00:17:27,077
Also, the salad's ready.
350
00:17:29,313 --> 00:17:30,381
What the hell are you doing?
351
00:17:31,948 --> 00:17:33,083
Zoidberg,
352
00:17:33,084 --> 00:17:34,485
we know about your
secret agreement.
353
00:17:35,052 --> 00:17:38,121
I am so, so sorry for
how we treated you.
354
00:17:38,189 --> 00:17:41,124
And to make it up to you, we're
killing the Professor for you
355
00:17:41,192 --> 00:17:43,660
so he doesn't die horribly
from hypermalaria.
356
00:17:43,728 --> 00:17:46,663
He doesn't have hypermalaria,
you idiots.
357
00:17:48,666 --> 00:17:51,568
He has yeti-ism.
358
00:17:51,636 --> 00:17:53,703
When he saved my life
all those years ago,
359
00:17:53,771 --> 00:17:55,572
he was scratched by a yeti.
360
00:17:58,109 --> 00:18:00,710
Hmm, I consider myself
almost completely ignorant
361
00:18:00,778 --> 00:18:03,780
of modern medicine, and
I've never heard of yeti-ism.
362
00:18:03,848 --> 00:18:06,750
It mimics the symptoms
of hypermalaria exactly,
363
00:18:06,818 --> 00:18:08,885
except for the part
where instead of dying,
364
00:18:08,953 --> 00:18:10,821
you turn into a yeti.
365
00:18:10,888 --> 00:18:11,922
Aah.
366
00:18:17,862 --> 00:18:19,496
Wow.
367
00:18:19,564 --> 00:18:21,832
Hold him down
while I prepare the antidote.
368
00:18:25,535 --> 00:18:26,670
Another yeti?
369
00:18:26,737 --> 00:18:28,839
Yes, the same jerk
that once noshed on me
370
00:18:28,906 --> 00:18:30,807
like a shrimp toast.
371
00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:34,144
Now who's getting
his pineal gland extracted?
372
00:18:35,646 --> 00:18:37,247
Ah, yes,
373
00:18:37,315 --> 00:18:41,151
this contains a concentrated
form of the yeti neurotoxin.
374
00:18:41,219 --> 00:18:43,553
But that's what gave him
yeti-ism in the first place.
375
00:18:43,621 --> 00:18:45,489
Won't it just make him
a double-yeti?
376
00:18:45,556 --> 00:18:48,625
Don't lecture me about
alien physiology, Conrad.
377
00:18:48,693 --> 00:18:50,093
The pineal neurotoxin
neutralizes
378
00:18:50,161 --> 00:18:51,962
the adrenal neurotoxin.
379
00:18:52,029 --> 00:18:54,564
That's why yetis
don't drive themselves mad.
380
00:18:59,871 --> 00:19:02,906
My God, he's like some kind
of believable Hulk.
381
00:19:02,974 --> 00:19:05,408
No time for an injection.
382
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:26,429
I'll be damned,
it did make him a double-yeti.
383
00:19:55,591 --> 00:19:59,029
It wasn't supposed to do
any of those things.
384
00:20:07,737 --> 00:20:08,872
You did it, Johnny.
385
00:20:08,939 --> 00:20:10,774
I'm cured.
386
00:20:19,049 --> 00:20:21,651
All right, let's set
it up and try again.
387
00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:28,925
There's one thing
I don't understand, Zoidberg.
388
00:20:28,993 --> 00:20:32,796
How did you persuade Mom to give
you her precious yeti head?
389
00:20:32,863 --> 00:20:35,165
Did you have to promise
anything in return?
390
00:20:35,932 --> 00:20:38,232
Nothing, nothing at all.
391
00:20:38,732 --> 00:20:40,732
This calls for a celebration.
392
00:20:40,832 --> 00:20:43,632
Come on, everyone,
Let´s go tanning!
393
00:20:48,232 --> 00:20:50,132
I was going to tan...
394
00:20:50,632 --> 00:20:51,532
...once
395
00:20:52,932 --> 00:20:55,532
What do you say, Johnny?
It's on me.
396
00:20:57,032 --> 00:20:58,532
Thank you, Hubert.
397
00:21:03,732 --> 00:21:12,532
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com