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♪ Two... two, three... ♪
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♪ ♪
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Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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Double time, soldier.
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I want this ice fishing
operation up and running
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by 0800 hours.
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It's too cold, Dad.
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My teen region is freezing off.
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You don't know what cold is.
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I once survived an entire week
trapped in a Swiss glacier,
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eating nothing but
frozen Neanderthal.
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To this day I can't stand
the taste of early hominid.
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Let's just get inside the shack.
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- Hold, maggot!
- Ow!
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Remember the code of the ice:
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Thick and blue, tried and true;
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thin and crispy, way too risky.
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Shows what you know.
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Crispy doesn't even rhyme with risky.
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Aah!
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Help, I'm drowning!
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Don't worry, son, you'll
freeze before you drown.
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I love ice fishing.
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I shouldn't be out in this cold.
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I have no protective fat, hair
or warm blood.
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I'm not even legally a mammal.
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You don't know what cold is.
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I was frozen for a thousand years.
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You were?
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Huh, learn something dumb every day.
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Live bait.
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Get your live bait here.
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Fresh killed bait.
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Can we get inside the shack?
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I'm wearing a belly parka.
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If I understand ice fishing,
and I'm pretty sure I don't,
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we'll need to laser-blast
a hole in the ice.
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No, no crazy technology.
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Here, Bender, use
your immense robot strength
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to drill a hole
the old-fashioned way.
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I don't see any irony in that.
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And voilà !
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Everybody's ice fishing.
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How come nobody's ice fishing?
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Hot cocoa break.
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Cocoa is for yodeling babies.
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If you're sober,
it isn't ice fishing.
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Mom, what's my temperature?
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50, 45, 40.
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It's all over.
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Whoo!
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Down at the 35!
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I'm really sick.
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Huh?
Oh, sorry.
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A hundred and nine.
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We'll check it again at halftime.
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You home from school, you traitor?
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I fell through the ice.
Cut me some slack.
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Nobody cut me any slack
when I broke my spine.
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Didn't even take a day off of work.
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Lot of people depend on you
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when you sell trampolines
door to door.
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Here's your homework, you lucky knob.
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And with a little more luck
from my seven-leaf clover,
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I might get sick enough
to miss the whole semester.
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Hey, give me that.
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No.
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Give it to me, you faker.
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No, you're not getting it.
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Ow, my underbite.
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Come on, Yancy,
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your brother's sick.
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You'll never have
a better chance to take him out.
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Dad.
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"Nerd Search '88"?
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What's this?
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Some stupid science contest
for smartwads.
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NASA's going to pick one kid's
experiment to launch into space.
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I could make a space experiment.
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I just got a new thing of glitter.
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I'm not sure science is your thing,
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seeing how that chimp
at the zoo tricked you
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out of your allowance.
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Yeah, well, I'll show you
and Mr. Bananas.
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Anyway, I've got nothing better to do
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while I'm sick in bed.
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Wait, that's it.
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I'll make a space experiment
about the common cold.
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Where's that contest flyer?
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You're holding it, genius.
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Oh, good.
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I feel awful, but it was worth it
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to catch and kill this baby fish.
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Shmeez, what's with
the shmiffling?
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It's nothing.
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Just a common cold.
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- Wha...?
- Common huh?
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- What the hell's a common cold?
- Is it valuable?
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Could it be taken from you
if you were, say, unconscious?
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A common-- a common cold?!
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No, no...!
102
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Ever since Fry first came to us,
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I've lived in mortal terror
that this would happen.
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I never heard you mention that.
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Oh, I try to act cool, but
inside I'm freaking out.
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It's just a cold.
107
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What's the big deal?
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This is the police.
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An unknown pathogen has been
detected on these premises.
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Come out with your hands...
111
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I mean, stay in with your hands up.
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You are hereby quarantined
until such time
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as it is deemed safe to enter
and shoot your asses.
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Now, now, let's not
all panic at once.
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We'll have to take shifts.
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Hermes, you take the first six hours.
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Very well.
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Louder, louder!
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Right, baby.
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Look, I just have a common...
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...cold!
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It'll be gone as fast
as I can sneeze, hurl,
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and squirt it out.
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No, it won't.
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The common cold died out
500 years ago,
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and subsequently, humanity lost
all resistance to its ravages,
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but the virus survived in you,
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frozen for a thousand years.
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Huh, so it was hiding
deep down inside of me,
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like my skeleton bones?
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Give it to us straight, Professor.
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How incredibly deadly is it?
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We don't know.
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It could kill millions or nobody.
135
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I suppose it might even bring
a few people back to life.
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Anything is possible in science.
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Oh, no, I've got it, too.
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My nose is all gunked up with blork.
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And I've got a hankering
for a useless remedy
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created by a schoolteacher.
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Uh-oh, I think
I'm getting swollen glands.
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Screw the quarantine,
I'm out of here.
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Initiate containment procedure.
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Aah, ow, oh!
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Go on now.
146
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Now I'm sick.
147
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I shudder to think
what this cold will do to me.
148
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Yesterday I was nearly killed
by a tight hat.
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I'd be remiss if I didn't rub
your goopy noses
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in the fact that I'm immune.
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00:07:03,220 --> 00:07:06,465
Which is why we'll all be
counting on you and you alone
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to nurse us through this catastrophe.
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Why, God?
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Why have I been singled out?
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Everyone just calm down and make
yourself a tissue walrus.
156
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Damn it, son, lose the tissues.
157
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You're ruining Thanksgiving dinner.
158
00:07:28,078 --> 00:07:30,356
I'm busy with my space experiment.
159
00:07:30,639 --> 00:07:33,518
I can't devote precious
brainpower to blowing my nose.
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00:07:33,684 --> 00:07:36,429
You're never going to win
that science fair, Philip.
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Face it, someone
with your limited brainpower
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00:07:38,989 --> 00:07:42,318
would be lucky to get a job
as a pizza delivery boy.
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Hey, Barack,
pizza going out, come on.
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Man, I have got to go
back to law school.
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I'm not going to wind up a loser
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like that guy.
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Sure you will.
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You're going to lose
the science fair,
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and that's who's going to beat you--
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Josh Gedgie, boy scientist.
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00:08:00,752 --> 00:08:02,880
Pi over four radians
of pizza, please.
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00:08:03,046 --> 00:08:04,507
What is that, about a slice?
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More like exactly a slice.
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Game on, Gedgie.
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Ew!
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00:08:12,764 --> 00:08:13,849
I've had worse.
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00:08:13,974 --> 00:08:14,950
When I was shot down over Korea,
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I had to eat Kimchi.
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He was our interpreter.
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Coming.
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What now?
182
00:08:36,246 --> 00:08:37,406
Humidifier.
183
00:08:37,531 --> 00:08:39,542
Fine.
184
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,590
Yes?
185
00:08:45,756 --> 00:08:48,083
Where's that chicken soup
we asked for?
186
00:08:49,610 --> 00:08:52,013
Chicken, water, fire.
187
00:08:52,179 --> 00:08:53,622
You take it from there.
188
00:08:53,747 --> 00:08:57,059
This is torture--
the fever, the chills,
189
00:08:57,184 --> 00:09:00,596
and the sweating--
Amy's horrible sweating!
190
00:09:03,774 --> 00:09:05,067
That's it.
191
00:09:05,192 --> 00:09:08,571
I'm leaving
while I still have my dignity.
192
00:09:08,696 --> 00:09:11,864
See you in the obituaries.
193
00:09:17,621 --> 00:09:18,814
How's the containment holding up?
194
00:09:18,939 --> 00:09:22,551
Without turning my head,
I'd say 100%.
195
00:09:26,922 --> 00:09:28,390
Howdy, folks, and may I say
196
00:09:28,515 --> 00:09:31,327
nice work keeping
those sickos penned up.
197
00:09:31,452 --> 00:09:33,028
Put her there.
198
00:09:33,153 --> 00:09:37,032
You, too, buddy,
and you and you and you
199
00:09:37,157 --> 00:09:40,569
and especially you.
200
00:09:43,105 --> 00:09:46,632
That robot was
a heck of a nice feller.
201
00:09:49,903 --> 00:09:51,680
You'd better stay here
during biology.
202
00:09:51,805 --> 00:09:54,984
Mrs. Jenkins dissects anything
smaller than a fifth-grader.
203
00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:59,555
Well, if it isn't Grandmaster Phlegm.
204
00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,824
I heard you're entering the
NASA science competition.
205
00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:04,226
Maybe I am, LL Fool J.
206
00:10:04,351 --> 00:10:07,463
So what's your project-- the
effects of losing on idiots?
207
00:10:07,629 --> 00:10:10,132
No, I'm gonna infect my
guinea pig with the common cold
208
00:10:10,257 --> 00:10:13,836
and launch it into space to see
if it gets cured by cosmic rays.
209
00:10:15,562 --> 00:10:17,706
Lame, though the common cold
virus does seem
210
00:10:17,831 --> 00:10:19,174
like a judge-pleaser.
211
00:10:19,299 --> 00:10:20,809
I think I'll steal that
and do an experiment
212
00:10:20,934 --> 00:10:23,521
that's slightly less very stupid.
213
00:10:23,687 --> 00:10:24,847
But that's my idea.
214
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:27,116
You are an evil, evil nerd.
215
00:10:27,241 --> 00:10:29,108
Gedgie out.
216
00:10:30,819 --> 00:10:33,088
We'll show him who's stupid.
217
00:10:37,217 --> 00:10:39,986
♪ ♪
218
00:11:06,213 --> 00:11:07,898
Linda?
219
00:11:08,064 --> 00:11:10,659
Borbo, the so-called common cold,
220
00:11:10,784 --> 00:11:13,062
introduced by living
fossil Philip J. Fry,
221
00:11:13,187 --> 00:11:14,997
is spreading out of control.
222
00:11:15,122 --> 00:11:17,566
All citizens are advised
to wash their hands thoroughly
223
00:11:17,691 --> 00:11:19,768
after beating up Philip J. Fry.
224
00:11:19,893 --> 00:11:22,104
Phew! Lucky I'm safely
locked up here with you guys.
225
00:11:22,229 --> 00:11:23,572
There he is!
226
00:11:23,697 --> 00:11:24,940
Get him!
227
00:11:25,065 --> 00:11:27,109
Ow! Ow! Ow! Wait!
228
00:11:27,234 --> 00:11:29,178
The situation is expected
to deteriorate
229
00:11:29,303 --> 00:11:32,481
as newscasters whip
the city into a panic.
230
00:11:32,606 --> 00:11:35,184
Run! Run for your lives!
231
00:11:41,315 --> 00:11:44,827
And finally, the heartwarming
story of a handicapped magician
232
00:11:44,952 --> 00:11:47,119
who didn't know when to give up.
233
00:11:51,792 --> 00:11:54,136
I don't like the looks
of this, Mr. President.
234
00:11:54,261 --> 00:11:56,505
Shall I switch it off?
235
00:11:56,780 --> 00:11:58,173
Negative.
236
00:11:58,298 --> 00:12:00,142
Rosemary,
release the surgeon general.
237
00:12:00,408 --> 00:12:01,944
Get in there!
238
00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:04,279
Ow! It's bright out here.
239
00:12:04,404 --> 00:12:06,715
Wernstrom, the quarantine has failed.
240
00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,751
Give me a worst case scenario.
241
00:12:08,876 --> 00:12:10,586
And make it grim.
242
00:12:10,711 --> 00:12:12,521
I've prepared some projections.
243
00:12:12,796 --> 00:12:14,623
Should the virus escape Manhattan,
244
00:12:14,748 --> 00:12:17,392
this is how far
it will spread in 12 hours.
245
00:12:17,517 --> 00:12:19,061
This is 24 hours.
246
00:12:19,186 --> 00:12:20,896
This is a Verizon coverage map.
247
00:12:21,021 --> 00:12:24,533
And in 36 hours, it will have
infected the entire planet.
248
00:12:24,658 --> 00:12:25,400
Options?
249
00:12:25,525 --> 00:12:26,769
We have only one option.
250
00:12:26,894 --> 00:12:29,505
Protocol 62.
251
00:12:29,630 --> 00:12:30,939
Not possible.
252
00:12:31,064 --> 00:12:32,407
We don't have arly enough piranhas.
253
00:12:32,532 --> 00:12:36,569
Then protocol 63 it is.
254
00:12:41,541 --> 00:12:42,985
Hooray!
255
00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:45,329
They're letting us out!
256
00:12:45,495 --> 00:12:46,855
And hundreds of black hovercopters
257
00:12:46,980 --> 00:12:48,514
are coming to welcome us!
258
00:13:06,558 --> 00:13:08,948
They shrink-wrapped the whole city.
259
00:13:09,073 --> 00:13:10,563
Well, it could be worse.
260
00:13:12,314 --> 00:13:14,150
It is worse!
261
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:42,052
Oh!
262
00:13:42,218 --> 00:13:44,346
They're flying
Manhattan into the sun!
263
00:13:44,512 --> 00:13:46,267
They must have been out of piranhas.
264
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:48,798
They're gonna kill the virus
by exposing it
265
00:13:48,923 --> 00:13:50,686
to the heat of our burning bodies!
266
00:13:50,852 --> 00:13:53,898
I'm just glad I have my wool scarf.
267
00:13:54,064 --> 00:13:55,685
What good is a wool...?
268
00:14:02,405 --> 00:14:05,967
Guys! Guys, you're never
gonna believe this!
269
00:14:06,092 --> 00:14:06,984
We know!
270
00:14:07,109 --> 00:14:09,554
They shmooped up Manhattan
and blasted us toward the sun!
271
00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:14,425
They did? Oh, so that's
why this was unguarded.
272
00:14:14,550 --> 00:14:16,427
People of New New York,
273
00:14:16,552 --> 00:14:18,923
this is Surgeon General
Ogden Wernstrom.
274
00:14:19,089 --> 00:14:20,331
Wern...
275
00:14:22,592 --> 00:14:24,261
...strom!
276
00:14:24,427 --> 00:14:26,637
No doctor likes hurling
his patients into the sun,
277
00:14:26,762 --> 00:14:28,272
but since there is no way
278
00:14:28,397 --> 00:14:30,207
to make a vaccine
for the common cold...
279
00:14:31,685 --> 00:14:33,744
There is a way to make a vaccine!
280
00:14:33,869 --> 00:14:35,680
There is? Yay!
281
00:14:35,805 --> 00:14:37,942
Of course,
there's a catch.
282
00:14:38,207 --> 00:14:39,617
Yay! Yay!
283
00:14:39,742 --> 00:14:41,529
So what's the catch?
284
00:14:41,811 --> 00:14:43,754
The vaccine requires the original,
285
00:14:43,879 --> 00:14:46,867
unmutated 20th-century cold virus,
286
00:14:47,033 --> 00:14:49,727
so I need to grind you into a paste.
287
00:14:49,852 --> 00:14:51,747
Professor, no!
288
00:14:51,913 --> 00:14:53,397
It's okay, Leela.
289
00:14:53,522 --> 00:14:54,966
This is all my fault sort of.
290
00:14:55,091 --> 00:14:56,767
If this will save you, then please,
291
00:14:56,892 --> 00:14:58,302
turn me into a virus milkshake.
292
00:14:58,427 --> 00:14:59,870
He consented!
You all heard it!
293
00:15:07,236 --> 00:15:09,537
♪ ♪
294
00:15:13,943 --> 00:15:16,187
Yes, sir, many of these
entries merit a ride
295
00:15:16,312 --> 00:15:18,756
in the mighty bosom
of our space shuttle.
296
00:15:18,881 --> 00:15:23,070
And then there's
your so-called entry.
297
00:15:25,530 --> 00:15:28,492
Geez! Walk much, Gedgie?
298
00:15:28,658 --> 00:15:30,134
Absurd. You really think
299
00:15:30,259 --> 00:15:32,538
your guinea pig can survive
in the vacuum of space?
300
00:15:32,704 --> 00:15:34,839
He already survived
in the vacuum of my mom.
301
00:15:34,964 --> 00:15:36,959
I mean, my mom's vacuum.
302
00:15:37,125 --> 00:15:39,577
My experiment measures
the effect of microgravity
303
00:15:39,702 --> 00:15:41,679
on the propagation
of the common cold virus
304
00:15:41,804 --> 00:15:44,482
in an anaerobic environment,
i.e., space.
305
00:15:44,607 --> 00:15:46,176
Impressed?
306
00:15:46,342 --> 00:15:47,685
Damn right I am.
307
00:15:47,810 --> 00:15:50,154
That's some dry, emotionless science.
308
00:15:50,279 --> 00:15:52,141
Nice job, son.
309
00:15:56,886 --> 00:15:58,562
Hey, wait a second!
310
00:15:58,687 --> 00:16:01,198
I know where you can get some
20th century cold virus
311
00:16:01,323 --> 00:16:02,651
without killing me!
312
00:16:02,817 --> 00:16:06,270
Hush, lad.
I'm totally in the zone.
313
00:16:06,395 --> 00:16:09,240
We just have to find the
Nerd Search '88 satellite.
314
00:16:09,365 --> 00:16:13,711
Oh! I don't know why
I even build these things.
315
00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:21,652
Gunnery Chief Bender,
blast us out of quarantine.
316
00:16:21,777 --> 00:16:23,387
Aye aye, lady!
317
00:16:27,509 --> 00:16:28,659
Oh, fiddlepoop!
318
00:16:28,784 --> 00:16:30,428
Our weapons aren't strong enough
319
00:16:30,553 --> 00:16:32,696
to puncture a thin
plastic tent that thick.
320
00:16:32,821 --> 00:16:34,565
No, but theirs are!
321
00:16:36,358 --> 00:16:39,355
Captain, a ship is attempting
to break the quarantine.
322
00:16:39,521 --> 00:16:42,173
Blow them to Bac-O bits
with a well-placed warning shot.
323
00:16:42,298 --> 00:16:43,859
But...
324
00:16:44,025 --> 00:16:45,366
Oh!
325
00:16:51,324 --> 00:16:52,716
Oops.
326
00:16:52,992 --> 00:16:54,652
We'll find that cold virus.
327
00:16:54,777 --> 00:16:57,121
The Nerd Search satellite was
launched on the space shuttle
328
00:16:57,246 --> 00:16:58,756
and released into orbit.
329
00:16:58,881 --> 00:17:03,994
Hmm. All ancient satellites were
swept up as space junk in 2113.
330
00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:05,329
I actually knew that offhand.
331
00:17:05,454 --> 00:17:07,364
I'm Facebooking right now.
332
00:17:07,489 --> 00:17:09,767
Aha!
333
00:17:09,892 --> 00:17:12,436
That satellite was scuttled
on Enceladus,
334
00:17:12,561 --> 00:17:15,139
Saturn's main dump moon.
335
00:17:15,264 --> 00:17:16,531
Let's dump it up!
336
00:17:24,774 --> 00:17:26,750
This is the exact location of the dump,
337
00:17:26,875 --> 00:17:28,686
but there's nothing here.
338
00:17:28,811 --> 00:17:30,588
Can we please go home and die now?
339
00:17:30,713 --> 00:17:32,523
I'm with Bender.
340
00:17:32,648 --> 00:17:34,225
Whatever was here has been covered
341
00:17:34,350 --> 00:17:36,393
by centuries of ice buildup.
342
00:17:36,518 --> 00:17:38,229
No! It's under here somewhere!
343
00:17:38,354 --> 00:17:40,708
We just have to bust our way down.
344
00:17:40,874 --> 00:17:42,399
Remember the code of the ice.
345
00:17:42,524 --> 00:17:45,069
Thin and crispy, way too risky!
346
00:17:52,146 --> 00:17:54,179
I found the satellite!
347
00:17:54,436 --> 00:17:59,483
Let's just hope
the experiment's still in here.
348
00:17:59,767 --> 00:18:01,785
Yes! We're saved!
349
00:18:03,612 --> 00:18:07,091
And now, to present the awards,
our very special guest.
350
00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:08,826
He walked on the moon,
351
00:18:08,951 --> 00:18:11,795
and now he is judging
a high school science contest.
352
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:15,099
Truly a man who can
and will do anything:
353
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:16,600
Dr. Buzz Aldrin!
354
00:18:19,261 --> 00:18:21,238
Wow. I could have used
an introduction like that
355
00:18:21,363 --> 00:18:23,841
when I first met the moon men.
356
00:18:26,461 --> 00:18:28,812
But seriously, there are moon men.
357
00:18:28,937 --> 00:18:32,383
Okay, this year's
Nerd Search runner-up
358
00:18:32,508 --> 00:18:35,719
is a young man who devised
a way to add and subtract
359
00:18:35,844 --> 00:18:41,625
in zero gravity-- Vijay Patel
and his calculator space hat!
360
00:18:46,288 --> 00:18:47,932
And now, the grand prize winner
361
00:18:48,057 --> 00:18:51,235
whose experiment will be
launched into space...
362
00:18:53,905 --> 00:18:56,340
Look at that cocky smirk.
363
00:18:56,465 --> 00:18:58,243
My money's on Gedgie.
364
00:18:58,409 --> 00:19:00,678
Yeah? He may have brains,
but I have heart.
365
00:19:00,803 --> 00:19:02,613
Josh Gedgie!
366
00:19:04,173 --> 00:19:06,374
I'll bring the car around.
367
00:19:18,220 --> 00:19:21,732
What a well-prepared virus culture.
368
00:19:21,857 --> 00:19:24,501
This will make a fine vaccine.
369
00:19:24,626 --> 00:19:26,370
Good thing Gedgie won.
370
00:19:26,495 --> 00:19:28,672
My dumb experiment wouldn't
have lasted an hour in space,
371
00:19:28,797 --> 00:19:30,674
let alone a thousand years.
372
00:19:30,799 --> 00:19:33,844
Besides, Buzz Aldrin ran over my
guinea pig in the parking lot.
373
00:19:33,969 --> 00:19:35,546
Okay.
374
00:19:35,671 --> 00:19:38,716
Come on, gang,
let's go inoculate everyone
375
00:19:38,841 --> 00:19:42,310
and cram Manhattan
back into its rightful hole.
376
00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:54,231
This may hurt a little.
377
00:19:54,356 --> 00:19:55,766
Ow!
378
00:19:55,891 --> 00:19:58,802
Now I'll give you the shot.
379
00:19:58,927 --> 00:20:01,372
You saved millions of lives, Fry.
380
00:20:01,497 --> 00:20:04,799
You should feel proud, no matter
what your dad said to you.
381
00:20:14,877 --> 00:20:16,754
You still haven't thanked me
382
00:20:16,879 --> 00:20:19,283
for pulling you out
of the lake, soldier.
383
00:20:19,649 --> 00:20:21,405
I could have flip-flopped out.
384
00:20:21,530 --> 00:20:22,350
I know that.
385
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:28,532
Look, son, I know I give you
the business sometimes.
386
00:20:28,657 --> 00:20:31,669
But if I'm hard on you,
it's only 'cause I want you
387
00:20:31,794 --> 00:20:34,238
to grow up strong and resilient.
388
00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:37,265
Some day, you may face
adversities so preposterous,
389
00:20:37,390 --> 00:20:39,810
I can't even conceive of them.
390
00:20:39,935 --> 00:20:43,371
But I know you'll pull through
and make me proud.
391
00:20:43,940 --> 00:20:45,677
I love you, son.
392
00:20:57,070 --> 00:20:59,329
Now bundle up.
393
00:20:59,454 --> 00:21:01,380
I don't want you getting frozen.
394
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:06,121
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com