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Encoded by hunter
crazy4tv. Com
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Oh, my hair!
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(Screaming)
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Lot of weather we're having.
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Allow me, my lady.
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(Unzipping)
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Shall we go a-trousering?
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Fry, I appreciate the gallantry,
but isn't this a bit much?
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You're right. I'm sorry
for showing my love.
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(Sighs)
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Okay. Fine.
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Here, take my hand.
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(Shrieks)
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(Screams)
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News and weather, everyone.
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I'm sure you've all noticed the bizarre
atmospheric conditions of late.
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Come to mention it, yes.
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It seems something ain't
right in the magnetosphere,
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so I'm launching
this high-altitude
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weather balloon
to gather more data.
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My pants!
My 'ucky pants!
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They don't look so lucky to me.
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They are, too!
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I was wearing them that time
I found a dime in my ear.
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I was wearing them when I won
a subscription to redbook.
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And I was wearing them when I first
met Leela, so yeah, they're lucky.
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Aw!
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Also... oh, lord.
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Plus, they're my only pants.
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You've worn the same pants
for 1,000 years?
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No wonder
they made a run for it.
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(Chuckles) Whoo!
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Soon your trousers will slip
the surly bonds of earth
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and ascend to the heavens.
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I'm gonna blast that balloon!
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No way will I let
god get my pants!
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Nobody messes with my pants!
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Not even the holy one,
blessed be he.
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(Firing)
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(Hissing)
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Look out!
A central park badger!
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(Grunts)
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I'll save you, pants!
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Scruffy, do you have
any varmint grease?
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What viscosity you need?
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(Grunting)
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Whoa, there's writing in here!
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Also, this grease is flammable.
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(Grunts)
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Incredible! Who could have
done this, the sewer mutants?
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No, this isn't mutant language.
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We use a lot more profanity.
Son of a... (Bleep)
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Leela, take my hand!
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I'm slipping!
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The one time your hands aren't
sticky, they're greasy!
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Oh, sorry. Normally I would've
wiped them on my pants, but...
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(Screams)
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(Thud)
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(Panting)
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Are you okay?
I... ow!
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My leg, it's broken.
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How'd you get down here?
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We made a rope from
my shirt and jacket
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and an expedition flag
from my underpants.
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I'll help you up.
Here, take my hand.
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Stop telling me
to take your hand.
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Look, fry, your noble gestures
keep making things worse.
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Can't you just be a rude,
unhelpful jerk like bender?
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When I use up the toilet paper,
I don't put on a new roll.
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Fry, my friend,
I found your pants.
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And no sign of
that crafty badger.
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All right! Lucky pants!
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(Screams)
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Oh, my god! Look
what my flashlight found!
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(All gasp)
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Dr. Zoidberg: A huge pyramid
under new New York?
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What badger could've built this?
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And look at this
intricately carved disk.
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It merits years of study.
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But how can we move
such a fragile, precious...
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(Screaming) Ancient
history coming through!
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No, no, no, no, no!
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Amazing!
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It appears to be some kind of
extremely ancient calendar,
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predating even
the girls of sumeria.
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Of course.
It's a Mayan calendar.
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No, wait. There's some dried-up
old stew on the screen.
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Sorry. I was eating a can of
breakfast and looking at porn.
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Amy: (Gasps) It's not Mayan,
it's martian!
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Amy, you grew up on Mars, right?
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Can you read martian?
A little.
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I only learned enough to
yell at my nanny. Let's see.
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(Speaking gibberish)
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I think it means,
"the sun will erupt,
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"all shall perish,"
blah-blah-blah.
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Get to the point! Vvhatdoesitsay
about me, bender?
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(Gasps) Nothing! But it
does say a great cataclysm
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will destroy the world
in the year 3012!
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The world?
That's where I live!
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Told you it'd say
something about me.
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So the world will end in 3012.
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Why does that year
sound so familiar?
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Because that's the year
that's this year! See?
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(All shrieking)
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So, you all done
with the computer?
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Is it just rne, or is the world
ending more often these days?
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The calendar predicts
fires, earthquakes,
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sharksplosions,
then it just ends!
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Exactly as the
weather balloon foretold.
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Before fry blew his
pants out of the sky,
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it detected the onset of
a catastrophic sunspot cycle.
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(All gasping)
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It's starting.
This is the end of the world.
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(All screaming)
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Coward man away!
(Woman screams)
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(Babbling)
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Some of us were crazy
before it was cool.
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Evacuating the planet
in three, two...
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So long, earth.
Thanks for nothing.
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(Engine sputtering)
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It's not starting.
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Come ons, comes on!
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(Sputtering)
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(Groans)
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Let me try,
headless clone of agnew.
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(Engine sputtering)
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Damn thing just won't turn over.
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It's like pat
on a Sunday morning.
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Oh, the marconi
is on the Fritz, too!
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The electromagnetic storm is
disabling all electronics on earth.
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(Power drains)
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Hi, there.
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Well, it wasn't a bad life.
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If only I could get back that time
I spent watching tron: Legacy.
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Leela, I've made up my mind.
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Before we die,
I'm gonna find and destroy
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every remaining copy
of tron: Legacy.
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It may take
a couple of hours, but...
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Fry, stop trying
to do things for me.
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Whatever time we have left,
just live it with me.
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So, you want to
join the balcony club?
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The balcony club? I have
an individual membership.
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Zoidberg, get lost.
I am lost. So long.
144
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Stop the end-of-the-world sex.
We might survive after all.
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(Both groan)
146
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All right, Amy,
what's so important
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that you interrupted
my embalming?
148
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I translated more
martian symbols.
149
00:08:21,470 --> 00:08:23,264
There's a way off this planet.
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00:08:23,639 --> 00:08:26,392
That underground pyramid
isn't a pyramid,
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it's a rocket ship!
152
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It was worth waiting five hours
153
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to hear you
finish that sentence.
154
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A spaceship made of stone? With no
electronics, it just might work!
155
00:08:38,154 --> 00:08:40,740
I'll stick with wind-up
power, thank you very much.
156
00:08:40,823 --> 00:08:43,784
Hmm. I've never flown
a pyramid before,
157
00:08:43,868 --> 00:08:46,120
but I used to drive around
town in a mausoleum.
158
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How many people
can this thing carry?
159
00:08:48,122 --> 00:08:52,293
Well, the mausoleum held
10 horny teenagers, so...
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Maybe 30,000.
161
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It's our moral duty to save
as many lives as possible.
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(Rumbling)
163
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They had their chance.
Let's go!
164
00:09:02,636 --> 00:09:04,680
Brannigan: Mind if I appear?
165
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Welcome to the hidey house.
166
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:16,776
Brannigan, tell me about this
freaky-deaky escape pyramid.
167
00:09:17,151 --> 00:09:20,488
I can fly it, sir. I just
need to know where, and how.
168
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The obvious destination is Mars.
169
00:09:22,990 --> 00:09:26,744
It's olose, with lots of open space
and no woodward or Bernstein.
170
00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:27,828
That's a plus.
171
00:09:27,912 --> 00:09:31,999
But we can only save 30,000 people.
How do we choose who goes?
172
00:09:32,208 --> 00:09:35,169
Well, let's see now.
We'll need leaders,
173
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(laughs)
174
00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:40,591
Scientists, doctors,
bureaucrats, pilots,
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00:09:41,050 --> 00:09:43,969
valuable appliances,
even janitors.
176
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But that's it.
No one else.
177
00:09:47,389 --> 00:09:49,600
I'll miss you, Leela. (Sobs)
178
00:09:49,683 --> 00:09:52,019
But it's okay,
'cause then I'll die.
179
00:09:52,186 --> 00:09:53,687
Nixon: Cut the
waterworks, hippie!
180
00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:55,815
The final decision
will be made not by me,
181
00:09:55,940 --> 00:09:58,651
but by a cold, logical machine.
182
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Who shall live
and who shall die?
183
00:10:02,446 --> 00:10:05,574
Step right up to the
contrabulous choose-matron!
184
00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:07,868
I hate waiting in line to die.
185
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,745
Move it along, grandma.
186
00:10:09,829 --> 00:10:12,248
Stick your hand in
and take your chances.
187
00:10:12,706 --> 00:10:15,584
Choose-matron: Female, crotchety.
Needed to keep others in their place.
188
00:10:15,835 --> 00:10:16,919
Accepted!
189
00:10:18,170 --> 00:10:19,170
Damn straight, kajigger!
190
00:10:19,213 --> 00:10:20,714
Ooh, me next!
191
00:10:21,382 --> 00:10:23,384
We just got one of these.
Rejected!
192
00:10:26,428 --> 00:10:29,014
Male, scientist,
fond of crazy contraptions.
193
00:10:29,098 --> 00:10:30,516
Accepted!
194
00:10:33,227 --> 00:10:35,896
Female, scientist.
We were in the same sorority.
195
00:10:36,021 --> 00:10:37,398
Accepted!
196
00:10:38,149 --> 00:10:40,229
Sigma beta, see you later!
Sigma beta, see you later!
197
00:10:42,027 --> 00:10:44,697
Male, medical doctor, delicious
with butter and lemon.
198
00:10:45,030 --> 00:10:46,031
Accepted!
199
00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:47,908
I wish they'd hurry.
200
00:10:48,033 --> 00:10:50,035
I want to get out of here
before the mayhem starts.
201
00:10:50,244 --> 00:10:52,121
Mayhem?
There's gonna be mayhem?
202
00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:53,831
I'm staying.
203
00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:54,915
Hoo-ee!
204
00:10:55,499 --> 00:10:57,585
Well, might as well
get it over with.
205
00:11:00,379 --> 00:11:02,756
Delivery boy,
no discernible skills.
206
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,091
Accepted!
207
00:11:04,592 --> 00:11:06,093
'Cause I like his pants.
208
00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:08,053
Yes! My lucky pants!
209
00:11:08,179 --> 00:11:10,472
Leela, we can go together
after all. Come on.
210
00:11:10,598 --> 00:11:12,224
Get your badge.
Take my hand.
211
00:11:14,226 --> 00:11:17,771
Top gun pilot, natural leader,
extreme combat training.
212
00:11:17,855 --> 00:11:18,856
- Rejected!
- (Buzzes)
213
00:11:19,315 --> 00:11:20,524
What?
214
00:11:20,608 --> 00:11:21,668
With all spaceships inoperable,
215
00:11:21,692 --> 00:11:23,652
we only need one
spaceship pilot.
216
00:11:25,821 --> 00:11:27,448
Wonder what this
doo-cracky does?
217
00:11:29,617 --> 00:11:32,203
Snake door. Roger.
(Sighs)
218
00:11:32,536 --> 00:11:35,748
You can't reject Leela! Give
her a badge, you stupid box!
219
00:11:36,749 --> 00:11:39,210
Male, filthy hand,
violent temper.
220
00:11:39,293 --> 00:11:40,336
Accepted again!
221
00:11:40,461 --> 00:11:41,670
No!
222
00:11:43,839 --> 00:11:46,884
Fry, the box has spoken.
Go to Mars.
223
00:11:47,927 --> 00:11:49,011
Okay.
224
00:11:50,971 --> 00:11:52,806
Will you at least
keep this photo?
225
00:11:54,391 --> 00:11:57,186
Remember how bender dumped
all that pig's blood on me?
226
00:11:57,645 --> 00:12:00,105
You keep it.
I'll remember you in here.
227
00:12:00,481 --> 00:12:03,609
(Sniffles) I wish I could
remember with my boobs.
228
00:12:07,154 --> 00:12:09,156
Leela, we're off to Mars.
229
00:12:10,574 --> 00:12:12,117
We'll see ourselves out.
230
00:12:12,868 --> 00:12:15,287
Wait, I did it.
I got Leela a ticket.
231
00:12:15,621 --> 00:12:17,373
(Gasps) How did you do that?
232
00:12:17,456 --> 00:12:22,419
Ah-ah-ah. A magician never reveals his
secrets. Except the great reveal-o.
233
00:12:22,544 --> 00:12:23,963
That guy stinks.
234
00:12:29,510 --> 00:12:31,220
(Crowd clamoring)
235
00:12:41,272 --> 00:12:43,732
I still don't see why
you get the window seat.
236
00:12:44,525 --> 00:12:47,987
Folks, this is your captain. Our
snake tanks are fully loaded,
237
00:12:48,070 --> 00:12:50,197
so once I figure out
which button launches this...
238
00:12:50,281 --> 00:12:52,533
(All gas p)
I figured it out!
239
00:12:53,742 --> 00:12:55,244
(All screaming)
240
00:13:05,713 --> 00:13:07,214
(All jeering)
241
00:13:09,091 --> 00:13:10,718
Don't come back!
242
00:13:11,260 --> 00:13:13,220
Well, let's get looting!
243
00:13:14,346 --> 00:13:17,933
Fry, this is the most noble thing
anyone has ever done for rne.
244
00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:19,893
Wait, fry?
245
00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:22,313
I'm a lot of people,
but I'm not fry.
246
00:13:22,396 --> 00:13:23,397
(Laughs)
247
00:13:26,025 --> 00:13:27,234
Oh, no!
248
00:13:33,866 --> 00:13:35,034
(Sniffles)
249
00:13:55,471 --> 00:13:56,930
Welcome to Mars!
250
00:13:57,014 --> 00:13:59,183
It is with heavy heart
and open arms
251
00:13:59,266 --> 00:14:01,435
that we receive
earth's only survivors.
252
00:14:01,602 --> 00:14:02,978
Admission, $20.
253
00:14:03,062 --> 00:14:04,855
Dad! Gleesh.
254
00:14:04,938 --> 00:14:06,190
Greetings, Mars men.
255
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,984
We come to your planet
to construct a gleaming city,
256
00:14:09,276 --> 00:14:11,612
a second earth on
which to begin anew.
257
00:14:11,904 --> 00:14:14,198
Okay. Admission, $20.
258
00:14:14,490 --> 00:14:17,451
I can't believe it. Fry
sacrificed his spot for me,
259
00:14:17,534 --> 00:14:19,620
and I never even had
a chance to thank him.
260
00:14:20,037 --> 00:14:25,793
Don't worry, Leela. Earth is still
there, peaceful and serene as ever.
261
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:29,588
(Alarm wailing)
262
00:14:32,299 --> 00:14:33,675
(Chuckung)
263
00:14:45,979 --> 00:14:47,147
(Grunting)
264
00:14:48,482 --> 00:14:50,150
Bender! You're stealing
your own stuff!
265
00:14:50,317 --> 00:14:52,986
I am?
Geez, I better slow down.
266
00:14:53,153 --> 00:14:54,988
I'm stealing stuff
I don't even need.
267
00:14:55,489 --> 00:14:57,533
You want a torah?
Nah, I'm not hungry.
268
00:14:57,825 --> 00:14:59,993
Aw, what's the matter?
Scared of dying?
269
00:15:00,285 --> 00:15:02,538
No. 'Cause as
long as Leela lives,
270
00:15:02,621 --> 00:15:04,832
I'll be alive, too,
in her heart.
271
00:15:05,541 --> 00:15:07,042
But really I'll be dead.
272
00:15:11,004 --> 00:15:15,217
Ladies and gentlemen, our new
martian city is complete.
273
00:15:15,509 --> 00:15:18,137
I give you dickfrancisco!
274
00:15:18,220 --> 00:15:19,430
(Cheering)
275
00:15:23,183 --> 00:15:25,811
The doves didn't magically
spring from my hand,
276
00:15:25,936 --> 00:15:29,106
but rather were crammed into this
netting sewn into my sleeve!
277
00:15:29,189 --> 00:15:30,566
(Mild applause)
278
00:15:30,649 --> 00:15:32,151
Thank you, great reveal-o.
279
00:15:32,359 --> 00:15:33,986
And now, as a solemn testicle
280
00:15:34,069 --> 00:15:35,779
to those left behind on earth,
281
00:15:36,113 --> 00:15:39,783
I present this monument,
titled simply, "heroes."
282
00:15:42,870 --> 00:15:43,871
(Sniffles)
283
00:15:43,954 --> 00:15:47,583
That frightened little girl in
the statue reminds me of fry.
284
00:15:47,833 --> 00:15:49,126
(Sesame)
285
00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:50,878
Singing wind:
Stop the ceremony.
286
00:15:53,255 --> 00:15:55,466
Who is this
non-Washington redskin?
287
00:15:55,757 --> 00:15:59,678
I am singing wind, chief of
the native martian tribe.
288
00:15:59,928 --> 00:16:02,055
But I thought your people
abandoned this planet.
289
00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:05,100
We did. I just
came back for my stuff.
290
00:16:05,392 --> 00:16:08,228
Vvhat're you guys doing here?
Fleeing earth, of course.
291
00:16:08,312 --> 00:16:11,106
We flew here in your
great stone pyramid.
292
00:16:11,398 --> 00:16:13,567
Seriously?
That thing flies?
293
00:16:13,734 --> 00:16:16,653
Of course. Your people left
it so we could escape.
294
00:16:16,904 --> 00:16:19,531
I translated your warning
that the world was doomed.
295
00:16:19,781 --> 00:16:21,867
Not your world. Our world.
296
00:16:22,075 --> 00:16:25,037
We put calendar there
to warn you not to visit Mars.
297
00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:27,581
It Mars that gonna be destroyed.
298
00:16:27,664 --> 00:16:28,749
(All gasping)
299
00:16:28,999 --> 00:16:31,752
Why you think we so eager
to abandon this dump?
300
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:36,215
You guys got 10, 15 minutes Max.
Vveh, solong.
301
00:16:41,428 --> 00:16:44,097
Hey, ancient martian's
a very hard language.
302
00:16:44,223 --> 00:16:45,224
A... (Speaking gibberish)
303
00:16:45,307 --> 00:16:47,100
Looksjust like a...
(Speaking gibberish)
304
00:16:47,226 --> 00:16:48,519
(Lightning)
(All screaming)
305
00:16:51,396 --> 00:16:53,982
To the spaceship!
There is no spaceship.
306
00:16:54,149 --> 00:16:56,610
You had it dismantled
to build that statue.
307
00:16:57,027 --> 00:16:58,529
To the statue.
308
00:16:59,905 --> 00:17:01,198
(Groaning)
309
00:17:01,782 --> 00:17:06,328
Oh, what an idiot I was.
And by I mean "you."
310
00:17:06,620 --> 00:17:10,999
The final solar flare is going
to bypass earth and strike Mars.
311
00:17:15,963 --> 00:17:17,256
(All screaming)
312
00:17:28,559 --> 00:17:32,896
My god, one of the hundreds of
contradictory prophecies is coming true.
313
00:17:33,188 --> 00:17:34,624
I should've known better
than to trust
314
00:17:34,648 --> 00:17:36,191
one of fry's romantic gestures.
315
00:17:36,483 --> 00:17:38,527
Every time he says
he loves me, I get killed.
316
00:17:40,696 --> 00:17:43,407
It's just as I only
now began to fear.
317
00:17:43,657 --> 00:17:46,994
The solar flares are igniting
subsurface gas pockets.
318
00:17:51,748 --> 00:17:52,749
(Screams)
319
00:17:52,833 --> 00:17:55,294
Mars is being blasted
out of its orbit.
320
00:17:55,377 --> 00:17:57,629
Fry, you noble idiot.
321
00:18:06,054 --> 00:18:07,598
(Slurping)
322
00:18:07,681 --> 00:18:09,975
You're right, bender,
grave robbing is fun.
323
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:12,394
And these pifia skulladas
are fantastic.
324
00:18:12,686 --> 00:18:15,564
The crazy weather cleared up,
too, for whatever reason.
325
00:18:15,814 --> 00:18:18,525
All in all, it's a fine
day for an apocalypse.
326
00:18:19,151 --> 00:18:21,278
So you don't miss
what's-her-name?
327
00:18:21,361 --> 00:18:22,654
Of course I do.
328
00:18:22,738 --> 00:18:25,115
But even though
we're millions of miles apart,
329
00:18:25,407 --> 00:18:27,826
somehow, I feel she's near me.
330
00:18:27,909 --> 00:18:29,620
Very near!
331
00:18:31,079 --> 00:18:32,414
(All screaming)
332
00:18:35,125 --> 00:18:37,461
Oh no!
The kajigger of Gibraltar!
333
00:18:48,972 --> 00:18:51,099
I have got to quit drinking.
334
00:18:52,768 --> 00:18:54,311
Thanks, friend!
335
00:18:57,230 --> 00:19:00,776
Another great thing was she
always had room for dessert.
336
00:19:01,860 --> 00:19:02,861
(Screams)
337
00:19:02,986 --> 00:19:05,822
We're passing surprisingly
close to earth!
338
00:19:05,989 --> 00:19:08,617
When we reach 72nd street, jump!
339
00:19:14,456 --> 00:19:15,999
Ah! (Grunts)
340
00:19:16,083 --> 00:19:17,167
Cushiony.
341
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:18,710
(Cheering)
342
00:19:18,794 --> 00:19:20,837
We made it.
We're back home.
343
00:19:20,921 --> 00:19:22,881
Okay, today is
still a workday, so...
344
00:19:22,964 --> 00:19:24,132
Leelai wait! Help!
345
00:19:24,591 --> 00:19:27,260
I'm still on Mars,
and I can'tjump!
346
00:19:27,719 --> 00:19:30,138
Hang on, Leela!
I'll save you again!
347
00:19:31,014 --> 00:19:32,474
Or somebody else could do it!
348
00:19:32,641 --> 00:19:33,892
(Panting)
349
00:19:38,271 --> 00:19:39,606
Quick, take my hand.
350
00:19:39,856 --> 00:19:43,026
I don't know. Bad things
happen when you say that.
351
00:19:49,908 --> 00:19:51,284
L 9°t her!
Ow!
352
00:19:51,785 --> 00:19:52,828
Oops!
353
00:19:52,911 --> 00:19:55,622
Try again!
We're too far apart.
354
00:19:56,248 --> 00:19:58,959
No, we're not. Grab your severed
arm with your other arm.
355
00:19:59,334 --> 00:20:00,502
Ew...
356
00:20:00,585 --> 00:20:01,962
Okay.
357
00:20:02,629 --> 00:20:03,839
Hurray! (Screams)
358
00:20:04,172 --> 00:20:05,590
(Both screaming)
359
00:20:12,431 --> 00:20:14,808
Good thing
scruffy rescued Leela.
360
00:20:15,016 --> 00:20:16,977
Don't thank me, thanktheladden
361
00:20:17,310 --> 00:20:20,647
your cloned arms should be
fully grown in a month or so.
362
00:20:20,814 --> 00:20:23,233
But for right now,
enjoy the sounds
363
00:20:23,316 --> 00:20:25,944
of the world's smallest violin.
364
00:20:28,822 --> 00:20:31,074
I hope you're not
too mad at me, Leela,
365
00:20:31,158 --> 00:20:32,784
for tearing
your arm off and all.
366
00:20:32,993 --> 00:20:35,996
I can't be mad. I'm on way
too many painkillers.
367
00:20:36,455 --> 00:20:40,250
Plus, you were willing to sacrifice
yourself so I could live.
368
00:20:40,709 --> 00:20:43,503
I mean, you failed, miserably,
369
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:46,673
but you're the only person
who loves me enough to try.
370
00:20:47,758 --> 00:20:49,843
One last foolish gesture?
371
00:20:50,761 --> 00:20:51,762
Uh...